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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058025">The Neck</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stoneburner/pseuds/Stoneburner'>Stoneburner</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Not Beta Read</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:00:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>206,274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stoneburner/pseuds/Stoneburner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Drusilla sends Spike to another world to save his life. While there, he experiences something that he can't bring home with him. When he returns, Spike must learn to live with the consequences of his actions.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Xander Harris/Spike</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Lineage Curse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” Xander said.</p><p>Spike glared at the petite witch and made an effort not to cast his eyes at Harris. “Remove it now!” he growled.</p><p>Willow stepped back, “I- I will. I just need to think for a second.”</p><p>“I thought it was a wine cooler!” Xander said, “This can’t be happening,”</p><p>Reflexively, Spike glanced at Harris while the mortal spoke. The longer he looked at him the more he saw him in a different light. Surprising himself, he thought Harris looked good enough to eat. Seconds later, the vampire realized his thoughts weren't his own and he blinked out of his spell induced trance to refocus on Willow.</p><p>"Argh! Bloody fix this," he said.</p><p>Spike growled low in his chest and glared daggers at the witch.</p><p>Willow flinched as she reached the end of her patience.</p><p>“Well, excuse me!” she fumed, “If you two buffoons hadn’t drank MY potions we wouldn’t be in this mess!”</p><p>The witch turned to look at the half spent potions on the table and sighed in exasperation.</p><p>“We live on a Hellmouth, you guys. Come on! I thought you both knew better than to drink random potions inside a witch's house."</p><p>Willow glared at the two men and then turned her back on them to gather her thoughts. After a few deep breaths, she continued to stare at the wall. She was still beyond angry.</p><p>The silence in the room became deafening and Willow glanced back at the two men and saw their similar looks of morose consternation. She felt guilty for blowing up at them until she looked back at the two half-empty potion bottles on the table. She grimaced as she stared at all her hard work destroyed.</p><p>An idea occurred to her and she moved across the dorm room. She grabbed her book bag off the back of the door and fished out her potion recipe before moving back towards the desk. She pursed her lips as she set the potion recipe down and assessed the half empty bottles.</p><p>The glittery handmade ribbons and semiprecious stones she’d hot glue gunned around the necks of the fancy curved bottles were torn asunder. What was left of the potions was still fizzing and azure in color. She picked up one of a bottles and sniffed it. It smelled like pumpkins and she knew it would taste like cantaloupe. She inspected how much was left in each bottle and figured it was a lost cause. She couldn’t save them. The magic was gone. The aphrodisiacs she’d spent all week crossing with a spirit binding spell were gone. Used up by two thirsty men who hated one another.</p><p>Willow turned the bottle around in her hands and stared at the liquid within. She’d made the potions for her and Tara as a safety net for their upcoming trip to visit Oz in LA. Now that the potions were gone, Willow flooded with worry. She didn't know how their trip would turn out now. She was unsure of her own fidelity.</p><p>Willow knew she loved Tara, but she also knew she loved Oz. She’d made the potions as a way to make sure her and Tara withstood the test. But, now that the potions were gone, Willow had no idea how everything would turn out. There was no time to remake the potions before their visit with Oz this weekend.</p><p>With a sigh, Willow pushed her agitation to the back of her mind and set the bottle down. She picked up the stack of loose potion recipe papers and began scanning them as she thought about how to unwind the binding spell. She hadn't intended to undo the effects of the potions and it would take her a few minutes to figure it out.</p><p>Spike glared at the redheaded witch’s back. He kept his eyes on her because he couldn’t bear to look at Harris. He knew he wasn’t seeing the lad properly since Harris appeared distorted and oddly alluring. The vampire could feel the magic spell winding its way into him and drawing him towards the whelp.</p><p>“Is this like… a gay spell?” Xander said.</p><p>Spike snorted and couldn’t stop his reactionary glance. The smirk dropped from his face as he caught sight of the human. The two of them stared at one another in a spellbound trance.</p><p>Willow bit her lip as she watched the two men stare at each other. She stepped in front of the vampire and waved a hand in front of his face.</p><p>Spike blinked and realized Harris and him were in a weird staring contest. He growled again and grabbed Willow by the wrist.</p><p>He stared hard at her, “Fix this, Red. Now!”</p><p>Willow yanked her wrist away from the vampire.</p><p>"I'm trying!" she said, "But, honestly I'm so incredibly mad you’ve both done this!"</p><p>Willow turned back to look at her paperwork as Xander stood up from the couch to walk over to her.</p><p>“I know. We’re jerks. I’m sorry,” he said, “How can we help?”</p><p>Willow turned to her friend and then glanced at the vampire.</p><p>“Just… Just stay calm,” she said. “I’ll figure this out.”</p><p>Frusterated, Willow's mind was elsewhere as she tried to determine how much of the potion the guys drank. She had no idea how she was going to reverse the spell. All she could think about was this coming weekend and how everything was going to be different now. She was no longer in control like she planned, and she worried how she would act.</p><p>“You're sure you can?” Spike said.</p><p>Willow nodded, “Yeah, I’m sure. Just... let me think…”</p><p>In the ensuing silence, Xander picked up a feather from the desk to fiddle with. When the tine snapped,Willow broke.</p><p>“Xander!” She said, “Jeepers, you guys! Just give me a single moment without you two hovering!”</p><p>Irritated, she impulsively used her magic to sweep both men into the nearby closet; and, as an afterthought, she locked the door.</p><p>Willow sighed and sank down like a lump into the nearby chair. She scanned her notes as she heard banging from the other side of the closet. She tried to ignore them as she worked on figuring out the spell reversal.</p><p>“Are you having us on?” Spike said, "Putting the gay spell victims in the bloody closet?”</p><p>Willow snorted and put up a silencing spell so she could think.</p><p>Spike felt the magic wall of silence envelope him and he leaned his forehead against the door. He growled, and twisted around, letting his body slide down to the floor until he landed on his arse. He shoved at some hanging clothing in irritation and felt the warmth of the human as Harris brushed against him and sat down. Spike looked over at him and couldn't look away.</p><p>Realizing that he was feeling the effects of the potion again, Spike squinted his eyes shut and turned his face away. He lifted his knees and rubbed his eye sockets into them as he wondered what he did to deserve this. Thinking Harris was hot? This was beyond the pale. He kept his eyes closed as he mentally cursed his existence.</p><p>Spike assumed the witch’s potion was making him feel more observant to Harris's every move. The vampire could feel the human radiating warmth. He could hear the whelp's heart beating as loud as could be. He could visualize all the hot blood gushing through his arteries and veins.</p><p>Unable to stop himself, Spike lifted his head to glance at Harris again. His mouth went dry as he stared. He couldn't pinpoint how he felt. He knew he didn't particularly like Harris, but at the same time, he was completely drawn to the mortal. Absolutely fascinated.</p><p>Spike knew the feelings he was experiencing were alien, innately. He was 100% positive that he wasn’t lusting after the bloody donut boy. Instead, he was experiencing mental dissonance. He knew how he felt but at the same time could feel the magic coursing inside his body working its will to alter his perspective.</p><p>Licking his lips, the vampire stared at the human. He watched Harris blink uselessly in the dark. Before he knew what he was doing, Spike reached out and tugged on the neckline of the mortal’s shirt. Harris flinched and Spike smirked. He watched Harris blink at him in the dark. He tilted the mortal’s chin so he was looking straight into his eyes.</p><p>Spike stayed still, entranced as Xander’s body began heating up. He watched Harris breath faster. He saw his pupils dilate and he listened to the lub dub of his heart pumping quicker in his chest. Spike lowered his eyelids and moved in for a kiss.</p><p>Willow finished figuring out how to reverse the binding spell and pulled down her silencing spell. She opened the closet door and gasped.</p><p>“Hey! Stop! Get off him!” she said.</p><p>The vampire looked up at the witch and blinked dumbly. He looked down to see Harris shirtless in his embrace. The vampire blinked down at the mortal.</p><p>Xander groaned as he reached up to hook his arms around the blonde's neck. He pulled him down for another kiss and Spike didn't resist.</p><p>“Xander!” Willow shouted.</p><p>She looked around helpless. The two men were both heavily intoxicated already. Desperate, the witch separated the two of them with magic. She flung them back from one another and watched as they smacked into opposing closet walls. Shoe boxes tumbled to the ground from the shelf above them and Spike growled at her, his demonic face emerging as he jumped up into a fighting stance.</p><p>A second later, the vampire realized it was more reflex than intention. He shook his head and his face reverted to the smooth planes of his human guise. It took all of the vampire's attention to keep his eyes focused solely on the witch.</p><p>Xander scrambled to stand up properly. He stood a bit behind Spike, facing Willow. </p><p>She stood with her hands on her hips, glaring. </p><p>“Get out here!” she said.</p><p>The two men stepped out of the closet and Willow did the reverse spell on them. It only took her a moment but she found she had to sit down after. It took a lot of magic from her.</p><p>Xander blinked when the spell was undone. He rubbed his tummy and wondered aloud why he had no shirt on.</p><p>Spike, the moment the spell was over, grabbed his shirt and coat from the closet floor and fled.</p><p>Willow sat in surprise when she saw the vampire’s speed. Spike was but a blur as he left the dorm room.</p><p>“Oh god,” Xander said, “Willow!”</p><p>Xander moved into the closet to retrieve his shirt. He pulled it over his head as he returned.</p><p>“I know! I’m sorry!” she said, “I’ll make you cookies. But- “</p><p>"Cookies?!?” Xander interrupted in a high voice.</p><p>He wiped his mouth on his arm, “Forget that! You owe me cake! A whole cake! This is so beyond cookies!"</p><p>“Okay,” Willow nodded.</p><p>Xander rubbed his eyes as he sat down on the edge of Willow’s bed.</p><p>“Ugh, I need mouth bleach… and eye bleach. Ick... Also, add some memory bleach to the list. Jesus.”</p><p>Willow laughed, "Alright. A full cake it is. I’m sorry, but you both know better than to drink random potions."</p><p>“How were we supposed to know what they were? They looked like wine coolers. What’s up with that?”</p><p>“They were gifts! Homemade potions dressed up in fancy bottles for Tara and I!”</p><p>Xander stared at her dumbly as he sat down beside her on the edge of the bed.</p><p>“Oh well,” Willow sighed, “All’s well that ends well, I suppose,”</p><p>Xander made to speak, but stopped himself and grimaced. He took a deep breath before pointing his finger at her.</p><p>"A full cake. Nothing less."</p><p>Willow nodded and then she reached for the phone after it rang.</p><p>"That'll be Buffy. Let's see if she wants to hang out."</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Drusilla pulled the 18-wheeler into the Sunnydale rest stop and parked. She stared at the ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign across the road and turned to look at the dead truck driver lying in the seat next to her. She pat his belly.</p><p>“We’re here!” she said in triumph.</p><p>The vampiress jumped out of the vehicle, closed the door behind her and looked around. She glanced up at the stars and pouted. She didn’t want to do this. She knew her life was going to be awful until winter.</p><p>It didn't matter though, she would do as the powers directed. That was the only way to circumvent the certain death of her one and only Childe.</p><p>Drusilla straightened her shoulders and picked up her dress. She started across the grass in search for her sweet boy, William.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike stuffed his hands in his pockets and scoured the night streets for something to hunt. He had to get the taste of Harris out of his mouth. He felt ragged. He wasn't used to having no control over himself. He seethed as he walked. He didn't understand how the redhead was able to bewitch him so often. Vampires were supposed to be immune to magic.</p><p>Spike saw an errant vamp walking down the street and he moved fast to pull him into an ally and throw him into a nearby brick wall. The other vampire jumped up, dazed, with his amber eye's flashing.</p><p>“The fuck? I’m gonna rip you apart!” he said.</p><p>Spike grinned, “That right?”</p><p>The vampires encroached on one another and spared. Spike dodged and weaved and was able to get behind the other vamp to wrap his arms around him. He bit into his throat to feed from him. Enjoying the other vampire's shock, Spike drank him down while he withdrew a stake from his coat pocket. He stabbed it into the vampire's heart and then spat out a gob of blood onto the pavement. He wiped at his face as he grumbled about getting ashes in his mouth.</p><p>Flush with semi-fresh human blood, he strolled out of the alleyway with a smirk and a roll of his shoulders. Spike let his boots lead him towards the industrial district, while he lit a smoke and mentally justified killing one of his own kind. He figured it was only a useless fledgling. He needed catharsis more then a fledge needed to live. After all, he's just been magically induced to kiss another man.</p><p>Spike shivered as the errant thoughts swirled in the back of his mind. While it was happening, he’d been magically induced to think it felt superb. The mortal was enthusiastic and handsy and it felt good to be wanted and groped.</p><p>To still feel that way now, though... was abominable.</p><p>Spike’s anger resurfaced and he growled disgusted at himself by the lonely thoughts. It had been too long since he’d taken part in affection, if he was contemplating snogging bloody Harris.</p><p>Drusilla had left him over a year ago and he hadn't felt it appropriate to move on yet. He'd had dalliances, sure, but nothing more then a few drive-thru experiences. Intrinsically, he knew that he couldn’t move on because he still hoped his dark goddess would return to him. He knew she wouldn’t, but that didn’t extinguish the hope lingering in his heart. He loved her. His chest still hurt if he thought about the loss.</p><p>Spike lit a smoke and pushed his Sire from his thoughts. He continued walking and groaned as thoughts of kissing Harris swarmed his brain again. He continued to walk as he replayed their brief time together in the closet. He felt a confusing warmth infuse his gut as he thought about the distinct heat pouring off the mortal as he lay underneath him.</p><p>Unable to stop the deluge of thoughts, Spike envisioned the human’s arms wrapping around his neck and pulling his face close. He saw in his mind, the mortal's flush face up close before he closed his eyes and had his tongue sucked on. Gods, even the mortal’s mouth was as hot as a furnace.</p><p>Spike coughed as he exhaled and choked on his smoke. He cleared his throat and glanced around as he stopped walking. He took another drag and blew the smoke plumb up into the starry, night sky as he let his thoughts play out.</p><p>He remembered the human staring up at him, eyes searching uselessly in the dark. Harris pulling him impossibly close and eagerly devouring his mouth with his own. The kid was hot, scorching hot. Every inch of him felt like he was on fire.</p><p>Spike took a deep drag of his smoke and looked around blindly. He couldn’t believe he was even thinking about this. He couldn’t believe he was so lonely and pathetic that he enjoyed snogging with Xander bloody Harris. The donut boy!</p><p>Spike growled under his breath a litany of denial. He wasn't thinking about this anymore. He didn’t like Harris, he didn’t enjoy it, and he wasn’t a bloody ponce.</p><p>The vampire shook his head and looked around. He sucked back the last of his smoke before flicking it away. He then continued walking down the street until came to a crossroads.</p><p>Spike looked to his right and stopped short as he saw two cars touching bumper to bumper in front of the Sun Cinema. It looked like a car accident. Curious, he stood watching, as humans from each of the cars rushed to exit in excited panic. He moved his boots towards them as he overheard them ask each other if they were okay.</p><p>Spike stilled as both drivers jumped and shrieked and moved away from the accident. The two vehicles began to crumple into one other and screeching sounds polluted the air.</p><p>As the vehicles continued to impact and the metal wrenched, collapsed and tore it caused a cacophony of sound. The few people out on the street stood gaping in disbelief as the two cars collided and shrunk in on themselves with a slow mystical force. It was as if an invisible hand squeezed them together, crumpling the cars like tinfoil.</p><p>Spike scratched the side of his nose as he watched the cars crumple into one another. He then scanned the area seeking out a witch or warlock in the darkness. Most everyone was staring awestruck at the crumpled-up cars. But Spike spied an elderly white-haired couple hurrying away from the accident. They kept looking over their shoulders as they rushed north. Spike squinted after them and then saw a man dressed fully in black follow after them.</p><p>Intrigued, Spike kept to the shadows and followed all three. He stalked the stalker, keeping a block back to tail them. After a few blocks, the man in black caught up to the couple.</p><p>Spike slowed his steps to watch as the man in black extended his arms and shouted something in Latin. The elderly couple flew several feet up into the air where they hung with each of their limbs drawn to the limit. Their purse and briefcase clattering to the ground below them.</p><p>Spike stilled and leaned against a nearby building. He settled in for the show with a slight grin on his face.</p><p>“I don’t know if you remember me Mr. and Mrs. Caledonia,” The mage said with an English accent, “After all, I was barely alive when we last met... But, tell me, how could I forget about you?”</p><p>Spike flinched as the clothes magically ripped off both the suspended bodies. He thought it a little tasteless, but then again he was Victorian. He watched, marveling at the display of magic, as he listened to the mage taunt the elderly couple.</p><p>The old lady blubbered about having a son as she begged for her life.</p><p>Spike watched, waiting, wondering what was going to happen. He felt like he was at the cinema. He couldn't do anything to change events, all three were human. All he could do was watch.</p><p>“You’re the rich devils responsible for the initiative coming to Sunnydale,” the mage said.</p><p>Spike went preternaturally still. His ears perked up as his eyes narrowed. He listened with intent.</p><p>“I mean, you were the main benefactors. Correct?” the mage said.</p><p>Spike watched as the woman cried and begged to stay alive.</p><p>The old man pleaded, “Please. Take me, it was all me. Leave my wife alone.”</p><p>The mage sneered and rubbed his palms together as he began to speak in Latin again. He pulled each hand apart and created a ball of blue energy between them. The blue ball of energy grew bigger and bigger as the mage recited his spell. </p><p>Spike listened, eyes wide, as the mage set a curse into the orb he'd created. From what he could translate, he guessed it was a curse on the woman’s children’s children. Some sort of lineage spell. Spike thought it a little excessive.</p><p>The woman screamed as the cursed spell shot into her sternum.</p><p>Spike felt a thrill of anticipation sizzle in his belly as he watched the life stop in the woman as she hung in midair. Seconds later, her body dropped to the ground, discarded. Spike bounced on his toes in excitement for the scraps the mage would leave. He hadn’t eaten from the source in a while and he knew cursed magic wouldn’t affect him nor the taste of the blood.</p><p>The old man stared down at his dead, naked wife as tears streaked his face. He knew he was going to die soon and he wore a face of regret.</p><p>“Well, as you see, I’ve deactivated my chip,” the mage said.</p><p>The mage let out a maniacal laugh and rubbed his hands together. He spoke a few words in another language, one Spike didn’t recognize, then shot a spell out from his hands that killed the old man swiftly. The corpse continued to hang, suspended in the air, as the mage shot another spell at it. The body started to jerk around.</p><p>Spike watched confused and then his eyebrows sprang upwards as he saw the old man’s liquefied organs reject from his mouth in great rivets of bloody vomit. Spike grimaced. He wasn’t a fan of such a mess. There was playing with your food and then there was…</p><p>Spike’s jaw dropped as he watched the body slowly float to the ground and the mage step forward and jerk his hand. The body ripped open. The mage gut him from pelvis to sternum and then stepped inside the meat suit like he was putting on a pair of long johns.</p><p>Spike watched the mage wrestle his fingers into the fingertips of the dead man, snapping and pulling at the skin to make them fit comfortably. Once the mage was completely encased in the dead man's skin, he snapped out another spell. Spike watched as the dead skin tightened and appeared as if the man had never been eviscerated at all.</p><p>All the vampire could think, as he watched the mage strut away in the body of the naked old man was that the mage had somehow deactivated the chip in his head. Spike now knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that it was possible that his chip could be deactivated. He vowed, come hell or high water, that he was going to figure out how to make it happen.</p><p>Spike waited a few minutes until the mage was gone before he walked over to drain the female carcass. He went through her purse and then he busted open the man’s locked briefcase. He scavenged as much as he could before leaving the scene of the crime with a full belly and pep in his step.</p><p>Satisfied from the fresh blood, and excited that there was a new boss in town causing anarchy, Spike sauntered back towards his crypt. He was giddy. He was so close to getting his chip out, he could taste it.</p><p>He walked by a phone booth and stopped as an idea occurred to him. He looked up the Caledonia's address in the phone book and then recited the address to himself as he headed across town seeking it out.</p><p>He broke in easily enough. The alarm put forth a delayed beep, but Spike found the main box and tore the device from the wall before the alarm sounded. He then looked around the vast home. The Caledonia's had opulent taste and appeared wealthy. While he walked through the house, he snagged anything that caught his eye or appeared worth hocking.</p><p>Spike stuffed his pockets until he found a duffel bag. Then he used that to appropriate the rest of his cargo. He made out with quite a bit of cash and jewels. He’d found a safe, tucked behind a family portrait, that he was able to decimate. He grinned as he lined the duffel bag with paper bills, gems, and one solid gold bar.</p><p>His curiosity had paid off tonight and he’d made bank. Spike riffled through the house and grabbed anything that struck his fancy. He felt like a kid at Christmas.</p><p>Once done, he headed back to his crypt to dump his new items. He hid everything within the stone casket, choosing to keep a healthy amount of cash on his person, as well as the gold bar. He headed back out into the night, making a bee-lined towards the demon fence down by the docks.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Minus the gold bar, Spike left Joey, the fence, with six extra zero's after his name. He decided, afterwards, to head into Willie’s and buy the prat out of O negative.</p><p>Spike entered the bar and copped a squat on the only empty stool available at the bar. He glanced at the old man sitting on the stool next to him as he overheard Willie tell him, “Best not to dwell on it.”</p><p>Willie turned to look at Spike, "Ay! Spike, what'll ya have?"</p><p>“O neg. A jug.” Spike said.</p><p>Willie’s eyebrows raised and he opened his mouth.</p><p>Spike threw some cash across the bar and Willie scooped it up, counted it, and set to work.</p><p>Spike glanced around. He couldn't help but feel the draining negative energy pouring off the sad-sack sitting beside him. He couldn’t help himself.</p><p>“What’s wrong wif you?” he said.</p><p>The old man took a sip of the drink he was nursing.</p><p>“I’m dying,” he said.</p><p>Spike snorted, “Look alive to me, mate."</p><p>“Yeah sure... Now... But I won’t be for long,” the man said.</p><p>“Why not?” Spike said, “Come on. Spit it out.”</p><p>“....I’ve got cancer.”</p><p>“Ah,” Spike grunted.</p><p>He took a hold of the jug and glass Willie set down before him and poured himself a glass of scarlet nectar. He sniffed it before taking a few big swallows.</p><p>“Yep…” the old man said, “And I’m only leaving my loved ones with debts… I have no money.”</p><p>Spike lacked sympathy. He swallowed more of his drink and said nothing.</p><p>"I don't suppose you want to buy my boat, do ya? Real cheap."</p><p>The old man laughed into his drink as if he’d offered the boat to everyone in the pub and been repeatedly turned down.</p><p>Spike thought about it for a second as he stared at the man.</p><p>“Actually... yeah, I do.”</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike stared at his new boat and grinned. He jumped off the dock and boarded the back end of the vessel. It was a pilothouse boat and he got it for a steal. He was able to weasel the old man down a bit by bartering and paid for the boat with $30K in cold hard cash. The old owner whistled a jaunty tune as he walked the length of the wharf towards the end of his life.</p><p>Spike bounced on his toes in excitement, then he started looking around the boat. It wasn’t huge, but it was big enough for him. It had shelter, should he need it, and tonnes of compartments. He couldn't keep the grin off his face. He had his very own boat. Legit and legal to boot. Well, as legit and legal as a vampire could get. Spike’s fake human identity, William Pratt, now owned a boat.</p><p>He'd dipped into his brand-new savings to buy it, but he figured it was a sound investment for when he eventually left Sunnydale. He'd gleaned from the old man that a year moorage was already paid. So, everything appeared ticketyboo.</p><p>Spike pushed his new vessel out onto the water for its maiden voyage and jumped onto it before it floated away. The name of the boat was the “Star Slammer” and he didn’t know if he wanted to change it or not. Spike said the name aloud and chuckled as he manned the ship out upon the vast blue sea. He enjoyed the drive on the open water. The smile never left his face.</p><p>The vampire parked in the middle of nowhere and felt the waves lap the boat back and forth as he laid back and stared up at the night sky. He could have stayed out there all night, relaxed and rocked by nature, gazing up at the stars.</p><p>The moment reminded him of old memories of Drusilla. She and him had been in the same exact position a million times before. Drusilla loved the ocean and always preferred travel by boat.</p><p>Spike lay staring up at the starry night sky and thought about his inevitable chipedectomy. He spent a few hours daydreaming about what he would do first once he got the chip out. There was so much he wanted to do. Kill the Slayer, first and foremost...</p><p>Before the vampire knew it, time flew by and he realized it was almost sunup. He had to drive back to shore to dock and lock his new boat up before finding shelter from the sun. He stood and stretched. A grin covered his face as he scanned the vast dark water. He took a minute more to appreciate the view and then he drove back towards land.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Drusilla could smell her Childe all over town, but she wasn't able to able to find him. She gave up hunting for the night and wandering into the bronze nightclub looking for a snack. She moved through the denizens towards the bar and ordered herself a drink. She paid with the dead truck driver's money and then carried her cocktail across the dance floor to find a spot to sit down.</p><p>Drusilla found an empty table and took a seat. She scanned the humans gyrating against one another as the music reverberated through her bones. She sighed and looked down into her drink as she fidgeted with it. She stared into her glass and swirled the cherry in her drink with a red straw. The plastic she held was the same shade as her red manicured nails.</p><p>Drusilla buried her melancholy deep down. She didn’t want to return to Sunnydale. She’d returned to this god-forsaken town to do one thing and one thing only. She was here to save William.</p><p>She was living her life in Montreal when she'd had the first vision. A vision that showed her that William was destined to die.</p><p>Drusilla visited the local shamans, at once. It was through them that she was able to procured a mystical potion to help her dissect the vision. The potion was made from a rare inter-dimensional weed called Stelle. According to the Shamans the Stelle would enhanced her divination once ingested. And it did. She definitely received more then she expected.</p><p>The Shamans warned Drusilla that the Stelle potion was poisonous to vampires, but they also assured her that drinking it wouldn't kill her. Drusilla agreed that she knew the risks and she drank the potion. She would do anything to save her Childe. She only had one true desire, and that be for William to live. He was her only legacy, after all.</p><p>Once Drusilla drank down the potion, she spent three days swimming in catatonic visions. All the while, she felt like she was dying. Her chest felt as if it was caving in and her heart was crumbling to dust.</p><p>Unrelenting visions bombarded her, forcing her into a state of stasis as she experienced a multitude of images, thoughts and feelings in quick succession. At first she worried she would miss something important; but during each successive vision she realized that the main take away from them all was that her one and only Childe was going to die. It was destiny. Spike would die.</p><p>Unable to look away, Drusilla lay watching as her sweet William winked out of existence in all future timelines. There was no set time or date, no future event to divert. He was simply destined to die.</p><p>Nothing could be done to change the timelines and Drusilla was unable to fathom alterations to the ever revolving futures. She didn't know how to intervene. She was unable to figure out a way to keep William alive.</p><p>After what felt like years, Drusilla swam back to consciousness. She came out of her prophetic catalepsy and opened her eyes. She saw bright light and squinted. She pat herself down, to make sure she wasn’t aflame in the sun, and then squinted to look around.</p><p>She saw she was in a solid bright white infinity room. There were no windows, doors or walls. All that existed was the bright white room.</p><p>Drusilla blinked as her eyes adjusted. She looked around for the 4 shamans that should be in the room with her but she found herself alone and confused. Where was she?</p><p>She looked down at her hand when she noticed she was holding something. She lifted her fist, opened her fingers and saw a small brown pebble in her palm. She looked at it confused. She could hear faint screaming in the distance. When she lifted her head to look around she saw nothing but the white room. Drusilla inspected the stone in her hand and noticed a tiny hieroglyphic engraved on it. She couldn't quite make it out.</p><p>A scream reverberated in her head and Drusilla flinched and clasped her hand closed around the stone as she spun around in fright. All she could see was the harsh bright white light. Drusilla squeezed her eyes shut as the light grew more intense. She felt like her eyes were burning. Then, as if a rug was pulled out from under her, she was falling.</p><p>Drusilla gasped and sat bolt upright on the bed. She immediatly noticed tear tracks wetting her cheeks. She was back in her body. Back in the hotel room in Montreal.</p><p>Her wide eyes sought out the Shaman's and as she looked around the small hotel room she began to relax. The harsh light from the white room was gone. She was back in reality.</p><p>Drusilla felt something in her hand and she looked down. A smile curved her lips as she stared down at the small brown stone sitting in her palm. Closing her hand into a fist, she let herself fall back against the bed with a sigh. She was beyond exhausted.</p><p>The four shamans surrounding the vampiress exhaled in relief as they approached her. Then, as one, the four of them froze as Drusilla’s body seized and spasmed. She leaned over the edge of the bed and barfed up the magical Stelle concoction all over the ornate rug.</p><p>Drusilla wiped her mouth with her free hand and laid back down. She lay there, staring at the ceiling, as she came to terms with what she had to do. She didn’t know what it would be exactly, but she knew that the stone was a gift from the gods.</p><p>Drusilla knew one thing, though. She knew that a gift from the gods would required a steep price from her for the exchange… Whatever it was, though, she knew she would do it. This was her only chance to save her Childe. Whatever it was, she would do it.</p><p>Drusilla could hear the bustle of noise in the streets around the hotel as she lay there with her eyes closed. She felt the shamans cleaning her up and she let her thoughts refocus on the small pebble clenched in her fist. She’d seen one of these sort of stones before. It was during her stint obsessing about time magic in the 1950's. Drusilla didn't like the idea of mucking about with time, but she rationalized that to save her Childe she would do anything.</p><p>Drusilla blinked out of the memories of Montreal as the song changed and a cheer came up from the crowd on the dance floor.</p><p>She took a moment to reach into her dress and fondle the small brown pebble within her pocket. She knew, now that she was here in Sunnydale, her whole life was going to change. She let go of the pebble and picked up her drink. She took a moment to cheekily salute the gods with it before she drank a few sips and then she stood up from her seat.</p><p>She walked towards the exit and picked up a lady standing in line by the bathroom. She hypnotized her in seconds and lead the woman out into the back alley. Drusilla bit into her, covering the human’s mouth to muffle her scream, before draining her dry.</p><p>Drusilla stepped back and let the body drop as the mortal's bladder released pent up alcohol laced urine. The vampire licked her lips and started walking towards town. She needed to find a place to settle in, since she was planning to stay in town for a while.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Lifegaurd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xander, having grown up with a family full of functional alcoholics, didn’t understand the appeal of alcohol. That is, until three buddies he’d met at the Oxnard Ladies Club traveled through town on a road trip. He’d been drawn out every night to drink and party with them and Xander had an excellent time enjoying the male comradery. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, once his old buds blew out of town, his new penchant for drinking morphed into a solo habit. A habit that soothed his nerves but caused other agitations.</p>
<p>Every night for the last few days Xander had the same argument with Anya about his drinking. Well, they didn’t really argue per se. Rather they did their usual movie watching and cuddling, but instead of simpering and acting endearing, instead Anya was frank and frosty with him. She constantly nagged him about his drinking.</p>
<p>Xander half wished Anya wouldn’t drop in tonight. He didn’t want to argue. He just wanted to drink and relax in peace. </p>
<p>He had an especially awful day at work. They’d been pouring concrete and some punk kid poured sugar into the mixer when the crew wasn’t looking. The cement wasn’t going to set, and it was a huge clean up job. Xander just wanted to relax and have some drinks and forget the stress of the day.</p>
<p>He sat down on the hideabed folded up in couch form as he listened to music. He had a beer in his hand and he bobbed his head along to the groovy music as he enjoyed his light buzz.  Xander took another swig of his beer and sang along to the tunes. He snapped his mouth shut as the door at the top of the stairs opened.</p>
<p>It was Anya. She’d obviously just gotten off work herself as she was dressed up and wearing makeup. Once she made it down the stairs, she took one look at Xander's beer in his hand and her whole disposition changed. Her hands went to her hips.</p>
<p>“You have to stop drinking, Xander,” she said.</p>
<p>Xander’s voice cracked as he threw a hand up scandalized, “I’ve had two beer, what the hell?”</p>
<p>Anya shook her head and headed over to the CD player. She turned down the music. </p>
<p>“I just think it’s becoming a problem,”</p>
<p>“It’s helping me relax, Ahn. I had the worst day today,” he said, “You won’t believe what happened.”</p>
<p>All Xander wanted to do was drink some beer after work. He didn’t see the harm in it. He tried to detour her thinking by regaling her with tales of his horrible day which seemed to work until Anya noticed he’d finished his six-pack.</p>
<p>The nagging commenced but Xander didn’t care. He was feeling comfortably numb. His internal clock was telling him it was bedtime. He asked Anya to move off the couch so he could pull out the hideabed. Once it was extended, he crawled into it and pulled a pillow under his head. </p>
<p>He passed out while Anya nagged him about being an alcoholic. His last thought before sleep was Anya bemoaning the fact that he was becoming his father.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * * </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xander woke up and looked around to see Anya gone. He stared at the clock on the VCR and waited for his eyes to adjust so he could read the numbers. He could sleep a bit longer so he passed out again.</p>
<p>Xander woke when his alarm went off and stumbled into the shower. Once clean, he was more alert. He pulled on his Double Meat Palace uniform and got himself ready for another day shift.</p>
<p>He worked 2 jobs. The fast food gig was full-time. His other job, as a laborer, was part time. He was learning a lot from both places. He was often tired, but what with the demon population at an all time low he hadn’t been needed by the Buffster much so it all worked out.</p>
<p>The summer had been relatively vampire free for some reason. Everyone seemed happy about it, but it bothered Xander. He missed his friends.</p>
<p>Besides the weekly meet up every Friday night for dinner and movie, he otherwise never saw them. Buffy was always out with Riley. Willow was always with Tara. Even Giles was busy with some passion project- whatever that was.</p>
<p>Xander was glad everyone was happy and in love, but he filled with angst wondering why he wasn’t. His relationship with Anya didn’t excite him anymore. His life had settled into a comfortable rut where he worked, came home, and had a few drinks before passing out to wake up and do it all again. Wash, rinse, repeat. </p>
<p>Xander didn’t see the problem that Anya did with his drinking. He never mentioned his new affinity to alcohol to his friends. It didn’t seem like the thing to bring up at a Scooby movie night. Not only that, but he didn’t see it as anyone’s business but his own. He told himself that he wasn’t some closet drinker. He wasn’t binge drinking to the point of blacking out. He wasn’t fighting and being a lout. He was just having a drink to take the edge off. He was fine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * * </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xander stood in shock, with his ear pressed to the phone, on a random Tuesday. The other line had long ago hung up, but he stood there dumbstruck.</p>
<p>Jesse’s mom, Mrs. McNally, called to tell him that they were having a memorial for Jesse before they moved across the country. She told him that she knew her son’s coffin was empty, but since that was all they had left of him they wanted to pay their respects anyway. She asked him to come by and say a few words. He, of course, agreed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * * </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xander showed up to the memorial alone and a few minutes late. He’d had to go home to shower and change after work.</p>
<p>He moved to stand next to Willow and he smiled down at her as she reached out and took his hand. Xander then sent a small smile to Tara, once he noticed that Willow brought her along for comfort. </p>
<p>Xander listened to the eulogy as he looked around. He noticed everyone was paired off. Men and women were linking their arms with others for comfort. Xander thought of Anya as Willow disengaged her hand from his to wipe at her face. He recalled wanting to invite Anya to come with him but he forgot to ask her. Then, when he asked her at the last minute, Anya told him that she couldn’t get anyone to cover her shift at the fashion boutique she’d just started working at. </p>
<p>Xander sighed and tried to pay attention as the nice words and platitudes were spoken. He knew that they were for the bereaved, but he thought to himself that Jesse would think this whole process a farce. </p>
<p>He glanced up, curious about the sounds of birds above. He saw two bald eagles flying in circles above them and a small smile tugged at his mouth. He looked back down and tried to listen as the words droned on and on.</p>
<p>The memorial was a sad event. Everyone, one by one, took time to say a few words. Xander, when it was his turn, tried to lift the gloom with a joke. It’s what Jesse would have done. </p>
<p>Jesse’s mom cried and pulled Xander into a hug and Xander cried then. Surprised as the emotion slipped out of his eyes in a few fat drops. He wiped them away as he pulled back from the hug with a sniff.</p>
<p>Jesse’s parents moved away from him as they met up with other mourners and Xander looked around, bereft. </p>
<p>Where were Willow and Tara? He scanned those in attendance and his eyes caught on a dark skinned, sad looking man as he approaching Jesse’s parents. </p>
<p>Xander stared, confused. He felt like he recognized him, but he couldn’t place where from. The man was his own age, where had he seen him before? Another glance around the memorial and Xander saw that people were already dispersing. He turned when he felt a touch on his arm. He spun around to see Willow and they shared a hug. </p>
<p>Tara offered Xander a ride home and he declined. He said he needed some fresh air. When he began his walk home alone, he stopped at a liquor store. As he exited the shop with his booze in hand, he looked up at the sky and thanked the gods that his fake ID still worked. </p>
<p>Xander bought a big bottle of vodka as a celebration for the life for his fallen friend. He drank swigs of it, out of the crumpled brown paper bag, as he walked. He quickly felt the effects and took a few more gulps of it before he made it home.</p>
<p>He made his way inside his parents house and stumbled down to the basement. He dropped his keys on the coffee table and took another gulp before setting the bottle down and removing his suit jacket. Just then, the basement door swung open and Anya walked down the stairs.</p>
<p>“Xander,” she said, “I’m so sorry I missed-- Oh… you’re drunk…”</p>
<p>Xander picked up the bottle and took another swig. He turned to stare beady eyes at Anya. He knew better then to say anything, since he wasn’t feeling like the nicest person right then. He was resentful that she hadn’t come with him to the cemetery, conveniently forgetting that it was his own fault she hadn’t.</p>
<p>“I’m fine.” Xander said.</p>
<p>“Oh, really?” she said.</p>
<p>Anya threw her hands up and huffed, “Look, I don’t even know how to talk to you when you’re like this! And you’re always drunk! What the hell am I supposed to do?”</p>
<p>“Stay or leave," he said, "I don’t care,” </p>
<p>Xander clenched his teeth as Anya’s face crumpled up hurt. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut. He was brimming with unexplained anger. He knew it wasn’t about Anya either, she was just annoying him.</p>
<p>Anya stared at him. Her upset face transformed into a look of determination. She marched up to Xander and tried to wrestle the bottle from his hand. </p>
<p>Thumb over the open top, Xander held the bottle firm. He glared at Anya as she tried to take it. The two wrestled for a moment and then finally, he wrung her from his arm. She fell to the floor like a small child. </p>
<p>Anya pouted as she stood up.</p>
<p>Xander seethed. He glared at her and then raised his voice, “Jesus! Just fuck off already!”</p>
<p>Anya glared at him and yelled back, “Whatever! I am SO done with this! You really are a loser!” </p>
<p>She stormed out of the basement, slamming the door behind her.</p>
<p>Xander shook in anger. He took a deep breath and then took another swig from his bottle before he set the bottle down to pulled off his tie and belt. He threw them against the wall petulantly and undid his dress pants, letting them fall to the floor. </p>
<p>He stumbled as he stepped out of his pants. He caught himself and sat down before pulling off his socks and unbuttoning his shirt.</p>
<p>As he pulled his under shirt up over his head, a memory came to him unbidden. He saw himself rapping karaoke to ‘California Love’ by Tupac Shakur with Jesse in eighth grade. It was Jesse’s favourite song. </p>
<p>Xander smiled and grabbed the liquor bottle as he meandered across the room to find the Tupac CD and put it in the CD player. He put the song on repeat and turned the volume all the way up. He could be as loud as he wanted, thankfully, since his parents were in Mexico for the weekend.</p>
<p>Xander took a swig of vodka and started to sing along. He could still remember all the words like it was yesterday. He found himself getting choked up while rapping so he took another swig of his bottle and dropped his weight into the Barcalounger. He closed his eyes and listened to the music as he remembered Jesse. </p>
<p>Xander squinted opened his eyes and looked up at the time on the VCR. He looked down at his Tasmanian devil boxers and smiled sadly at himself and remembered how Jesse would have reacted to him wearing them. He would have made fun of him for it, but if anyone else made fun of them then Jesse would have beat them up. Jesse was always adamant that it was okay to make fun of your friends, but nobody else could. </p>
<p>Xander remembered wanting to grow up so much when they were that age. Wanting to be older, to be able to do older things, like drive and drink. </p>
<p>He smirked and looked down at the bottle before taking another swig. </p>
<p>All they wanted back then was to be free. Free from School. Free from their parents. Free to be themselves.</p>
<p>Xander looked around at the basement and snorted. His vision was no longer steady, but he could see enough of the basement to know he wanted to move. Why was he still living here?</p>
<p>Xander cuddled the bottle to his bare chest and closed his eyes. He hated how he felt. He hated knowing in his heart that he killed his best friend. </p>
<p>It didn’t matter how many times he told everyone that he was numb about it, that a vampire killed Jesse and that he’d just killed a vampire wearing his friends face. Xander knew in his heart of hearts that it felt wrong. Jesse was gone, forever, because of him.</p>
<p>At first it had been easier for him to process Jesse’s death because he believed that killing vampires was black and white. It was simple math. Vampires were evil and must be killed. It was that way because Buffy said so. She was the vampire slayer, after all.</p>
<p>But as Angel lost and re-gained his soul, and Spike showed up chipped, Xander found that Buffy greyed the spectrum. Vampires were no longer black and white, which meant that killing Jesse was no longer black and white. And because of all the new grey area regarding vampires, Xander perpetually felt guilty for killing his best friend. </p>
<p>He knew that he had no choice in it. That the actual staking had been an accident. But at the same time, he recalled the exact second that he chose to aim at Jesse’s heart, and he chose to do that with the black and white information he’d had at the time.</p>
<p>Xander sat there, rehashing memories for a while, while listening to California Love on repeat. He took swig after swig of his bottle and then he poured some liquor onto the carpet in front of him with a chuckle.</p>
<p>“For my best friend,” Xander said aloud.</p>
<p>He took another swig from the bottle and was glad he could no longer taste it. He was numb.</p>
<p>Xander scrubbed his too tight face and decided he wanted a bath. He stood with a wobble, clutched his spirits close, and sucked in a great gasp of air as he yawned. He found a clean towel and made his way up the stairs to the bathroom. </p>
<p>Xander started filling the tub and sat down on the closed toilet seat while waiting for it to fill. He set down his liquor bottle beside the tub and stared into space. </p>
<p>Just before the tub overflowed, Xander turned off the taps. He drained a bit of water, shucked his boxers and then climbed in. He sighed as he sank into the hot bath. He closed his eyes and soaked as he hummed along with the thumping beat of the music.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Anya left Xander, she was beyond angry. She was huffing mad. She muttered her frustration aloud as she walked. </p>
<p>It was getting dark out and she speed up her walk as she became hyper aware of the sounds around her. She rushed around a corner and ran directly into a man’s chest. </p>
<p>Anya gasped and stepped back to get her balance. She apologized as a tall, dark and handsome strange smiled at her.</p>
<p>The man checked her over to make sure she was okay and Anya smiled as she caught the man’s blue eyes. She stared at him as his iris’s turned black and returned back to blue. She simpered. Anya couldn’t believe how good looking the man before her was. </p>
<p>His skin was dark and his eyes were blue. His smile was bright and friendly and he had straight white teeth and a warm smile. Anya watched as he brushed back his curly black hair from his long, thin face. </p>
<p>Anya apologized again, entranced by the man’s blue eyes. The man chuckled and introduced himself. He said his name was Jamie and he was new in town.</p>
<p>Anya found Jamie polite to talk to and she couldn’t help but stare into his blue eyes. He had the most incredible eyes. </p>
<p>Jamie offered to walk Anya home, telling her that it wasn’t safe out at night.</p>
<p>Anya agreed and they talked pleasantly as they walked to her house. Anya couldn’t explain the attraction. She knew she’d just left Xander, but she couldn’t deny the feelings within her. She felt something pulling her towards Jamie. He was gorgeous and polite. </p>
<p>At her door, Anya wanted to ask Jamie in but it didn’t feel right. Not only because she’d just left Xander in a heated argument, but, for all she knew, Jamie could also be a vampire.</p>
<p>As she unlocked her door, she tried to figure out what to say. She spun around to say goodnight when  Jamie leaned in and kissed her. </p>
<p>Anya let one kiss lead to another and soon she found herself opening the door behind her and causing them both to fall into her apartment. Well, that answered the vampire question, she thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anya woke up, upon hearing the front door click closed. </p>
<p>She sat up in her bed sheets, arms curled around herself and registered that Jamie left without saying anything. Anya sat thinking and biting her bottom lip. </p>
<p>She started to cry as she was overcome with feelings of guilt. She felt filthy, used and gross. She couldn’t believe she’d just slept with some random stranger. Why had she done it?</p>
<p>When she left Xander's, a part of her was angry and seeking petty revenge, sure. She was hurt and lonely. But, after sleeping with a stranger Anya found herself feeling less then human. She felt awful. Why did that happen?</p>
<p>Anya filled with emotions she couldn’t explain. All she could think about was what she’d done. She eventually concluded that she must not really love Xander if she so easily slept with someone else because she was mad. The longer she thought about it the more concrete a decision solidified in her head. She needed to break up with Xander. And, for peace of mind, as soon as possible. </p>
<p>Anya got up and got dressed. She pulled her hair back and rushed out of the house. She had to do this now.</p>
<p>Anya felt alive as she ran towards Xander’s house. Her sparkly pink tennis shoes slapped against the pavement. She knew she was doing the right thing. Happiness was already lifting the gloom in her heart. She’d often doubted whether she had a conscience. Now she knew for sure. </p>
<p>There was a conscience inside of her. She knew it to be so, because it was making her feel awful. She wanted to do right and be a good person. And the closer she got to Xander’s house the better she felt. She knew she was doing the right thing. She had to tell him the truth. </p>
<p>Her heart was pounding, she was breathing hard. This was how she wanted to feel while human. She wanted to feel alive. She ran up to Xander’s house and banged on the door. No answer. She banged on the door again.</p>
<p>“Why isn’t anyone answering?” she said.</p>
<p>Frustrated, Anya banged upon the door until her hand hurt too much to continue. She tried the door handle and found it locked. She decided to break in if she could find a way. </p>
<p>As luck would have it, she was able to climb through an unlocked basement window. Anya crawled thru the small opening and fell as she lost her footing. She caught herself but caused a chaotic avalanche of knickknacks to tumble around her as she got to her feet. </p>
<p>She got up with a wince and saw Xander’s newly discarded clothes all over the floor. </p>
<p>“Xander?” Anya called.</p>
<p>She started up the stairs to see if he was on the main floor of the house and noticed the bathroom door closed. Anya opened it, expecting to see Xander on the toilet.</p>
<p>“Xan-” </p>
<p>Anya stopped moving completely.</p>
<p>She stared dumbly, blinking at Xander. </p>
<p>He lay still in the bathtub. </p>
<p>Anya stood numb, staring at his head under the water. His hair was floating around his head like a sea creature. </p>
<p>Anya rushed forward and pulled Xander out of the water. She heaved his blue tinged body from the bottom of the tub and freaked out as he slapped wetly to the bathroom floor with a bang. She scrambled to think about what humans did when they drowned.</p>
<p>She ran to grab to telephone and called 911. The lady on the other end directed Anya how to preform CPR, while dispatching an ambulance. Anya followed directions and was pumping on Xander's chest and breathing into his mouth. She lost her mind and kept up the rhythm until she was pushed aside by paramedics. She’d never been so happy to see someone in her life. She was exhausted, tired, and scared. </p>
<p>The medics worked on Xander, and Anya was beside herself in shock as she watched them. She couldn’t believe what was happening. The medics eventually revived Xander, got him coughing up water and barfing up vodka, but he still didn’t wake up. </p>
<p>The medics moved Xander, once stabilized, to a stretcher and Anya asked to go to the hospital with him. </p>
<p>While she sat in the bumpy ambulance, Anya gulped. She didn’t like the feeling she got in her stomach about breaking up with the guy in the hospital. She knew though, that she had to break up with him, she had to clear her conscience. She would wait until she knew that Xander was okay, but then she would do it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xander woke up and his eyes shot open in alarm. He shut them again as everything hurt. He lay still and stared at the red of his eyelids. Xander opened his eyes and closed them again. Why was it so bright? </p>
<p>“Where am I?” he croaked.</p>
<p>Xander swallowed tightly, his throat was dry. He cleared his throat and licked his chapped lips as he squinted open his eyes bit by bit. </p>
<p>He saw he was laying in a bed not his own. There were beeping machines on either side of him. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital. He propped himself up and tried to moisten his mouth. It was dry and he was having trouble swallowing. A straw was pressed to his lips and he was told to drink. </p>
<p>Xander squinted up into Anya’s eyes as he sipped the water. He relaxed, grateful to see a familiar face. He pulled back from the straw and the cup retreated.</p>
<p>“What am I doing here?” Xander said.</p>
<p>Anya stared at Xander for a moment as she figured out what to say.</p>
<p>“You killed yourself last night,”</p>
<p>Xander stared shocked at his girlfriend. She was setting the water cup down. He reached out to grab her hand and Anya stepped back. </p>
<p>They stared at one another.</p>
<p>“What happened?” he said.</p>
<p>“You, um… We had a fight… remember?”</p>
<p>Xander tried to remember. When had he fought with Anya?</p>
<p>“About Jesse…” Anya said.</p>
<p>Xander watched Anya take off her coat, fold it in front of herself and sit down in the chair next to the bed.</p>
<p>“Because of my drinking…” Xander said.</p>
<p>His head tilted low as he remembered. He’d fucked up. He’d yelled at her and she was only trying to help. Xander knew that Anya cared about him. She wouldn’t nag if she didn’t, but her nagging at him about his drinking had become a bone of contention between the two of them since he’d developed his new habit.</p>
<p>“After I left… “Anya said, “Well, I came back to talk to you, and I found you in the bathtub. I pulled you out and called 911. They taught me how to do CPR.”</p>
<p>Xander didn’t know what to say, he felt guilty and full of shame.</p>
<p>Anya continued, staring at Xander. </p>
<p>“Thank the gods the medics came when they did, because once they got you to cough out some water, then you started shaking and there was foam coming out of your mouth…”</p>
<p>Anya’s eyes were glassy as she recounted what happened, “I don’t know how long you were under the water before I found you, but you could have died, Xander. Do you understand that?”</p>
<p>Xander was gobsmacked. He couldn’t believe he’d accidentally drowned. And without Anya he wouldn’t be alive. He stared at her.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he said.</p>
<p>Anya bit her bottom lip as she stared at Xander.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” Xander said.</p>
<p>Anya sniffed and looked down at her fidgeting hands.</p>
<p>“We- we have to end this, Xander,” she said</p>
<p>Xander blinked, “What?”</p>
<p>“Us. We need to end us. I’m breaking up with you.” she said.</p>
<p>“But,” Xander tried.</p>
<p>“Look, we’re over,” Anya interrupted. “I’m going to leave now. I hope you stay alive and I hope you find someone that really loves you and-”</p>
<p>Anya shut her mouth. She took in a breath, stood up, and put on her coat.</p>
<p>“Goodbye Xander,” she said.</p>
<p>Xander stared dumbly at Anya. He saw the determination in her face. He wanted to beg her to stay, but he knew better. She deserved better then an unstable drunk. And if he was honest with himself, he’d felt the lack of love for a while now.</p>
<p>“Goodbye… Anya,” Xander whispered.</p>
<p>Xander watched her leave. He didn’t cry until she left the room. </p>
<p>Once he started, he wallowed in self pity until a nurse came in to do blood tests on him. Xander wiped his face and blew his nose and tried to listen to the nurse but he was lost within himself, trapped ruminating on his miserable thoughts. </p>
<p>Not only was it his best friend’s memorial weekend, he’d overdosed on booze and accidentally drown himself… To top that off, his girlfriend just broke up with him and there was a middle age woman with chin hairs that needed to be plucked telling him that it was still possible he could die within the next 24 hours.</p>
<p>“Wait, what?” Xander said as he tried to pay attention.</p>
<p>Ultimately, the Hospital decided to keep him overnight to make sure his blood and organs were okay.</p>
<p><br/>* * *</p>
<p><br/>Xander stared out across the dark moonlit ocean from his seat on the sandy beach. The crickets chirped from within the bushes situated behind him and he scrunched his bare feet deeper into the sand as he thought. </p>
<p>He stared out at the darkened boats anchored in the bay and berated himself for sitting motionless.  He knew that he should head indoors. He knew better then to be out by himself at night. Especially after almost dying two days ago. But he felt that, now that the other beach goers had vacated the beach, the solitude was nice.</p>
<p>He tried to stay vigilant as he sat pensive and wistful. He stared up at the moon and then at its reflection on the sea. </p>
<p>The cricket’s stopped making noise and Xander stilled and stood up to look around. Seeing nothing, he sat back down. He figured, should something attack him tonight, he would run away like he always did. He’d been surviving near death experiences for 4 years now and he felt like he was the personification of lucky because of it. </p>
<p>Xander grinned to himself and then the smile slipped off his face as he recalled the other night when he accidentally drowned in the bath.</p>
<p>Yep, he felt lucky alright. What were the chances of Anya showing up in the middle of the night to save him? If he wasn’t lucky, he would have died long ago.</p>
<p>He huffed. Not that living was all that great, he thought. All he did was work and eat and shit and sleep. Day in and day out. </p>
<p>Xander sat moping and kicking sand. He thought about what he wanted to do with his life. Everyone he met always asked him what he was doing to move up at work, or what he was interested in going to school to study. Insistently insinuating, shamefully, that he must strive for some random goal that would please them, but not him. If he was honest, he didn’t have any goals. Xander didn’t desire to help sick kids or police the world. He was an offspring of functioning alcoholics and the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. He just wanted to get through each new day.</p>
<p>If he was honest with himself, he wanted to be able to laugh and mean it. He wanted to be carefree and optimistic like he was when he was younger. He wanted to be how he was before Buffy came to town. </p>
<p>Xander knew it wasn’t Buffy’s fault that the supernatural element was in Sunnydale but, once Jesse got turned, the life he knew ended. From that point forward, life on the Hellmouth sucked.</p>
<p>Xander tried to take stock of his feelings and realized he felt sad, mad and lonely. He was moping.</p>
<p>He wanted to reach out to his friends, but everyone seemed to be living their best lives. Willow had her girlfriend Tara, Buffy had Riley and Giles was always the king of doing his own thing. Xander felt like telling them his depressed feelings would be a burden.</p>
<p>He was on his own and he felt like he had no one to confide in. All he could do was rely on himself, and recent events proved that even that wasn’t a sure thing. Xander looked down at his feet in the sand as he swallowed down his angst and then stared out at the gentle waves.</p>
<p>He saw himself in memory racing Jesse across the bay when they were 13 years old. He smiled at the memory.</p>
<p>Then Xander grinned as he got an idea. </p>
<p>He stood up and shucked off his clothes as he walked towards the ocean. He could see the inlet across the bay and remembered Jesse goading him to race towards it when they were kids.</p>
<p>Xander smiled sadly as he imagined his old friend’s cheeky grin. He toed the freezing water, heard Jesse call him a ‘baby’ in years past, and he stepped further in. Xander cursed aloud at how brisk the water was and then muttered about skinny-dipping being overrated.</p>
<p>He took a few more steps in and then realized he’d have to bite the bullet. He took a deep breath and dove under the ice-cold water. Xander surfaced and brushed the wet hair out of his eyes as he huffed and puffed while his body acclimatized to the environment. </p>
<p>He turned and faced towards his destination and then started a front crawl. It didn’t look that far. He concentrated on breathing and paddling his feet as he imagined Jesse goading him in years past. He was racing across the bay, just like they did before. Xander dove under an incoming wave and swam as hard and fast as he could. </p>
<p>He made it halfway across the bay before he got gassed. </p>
<p>Xander tread water as he sucked in air and looked around. He felt fear pierce his heart when he didn’t see anything but more water. He couldn’t see land in any direction. There was no ambient light besides the crescent moon which wasn’t illuminating much. </p>
<p>“Fuck, I’m stupid,” Xander said.</p>
<p>He spun around in the water and felt like a fool. Then he stopped as he realized that he wasn’t positive he was still facing the right direction. </p>
<p>“What the hell was I was thinking?” he said.</p>
<p>Xander huffed and puffed while treading water with the last reserves of his energy. He tried intermittently floating on his back, taking moments to let his tired body float. He pondered between swimming back to shore or finishing the journey. Either way, he didn’t know if he was going to be able to make it.</p>
<p>Xander grew scared as his body grew colder. He realized he was going to die out in the ocean alone. Where was his luck now? He was going to drown again, and this time there was no one around to save him. On top of that, he was sober. Sober and stupid.</p>
<p>While trying to keep afloat on his back, he started to cry as he realized he wasn’t going to make it back to shore. He’d never get to see Willow again. Or Buffy. Or Giles.</p>
<p>Xander couldn’t catch his breath. Panic flooded him as he gasped in heaving breaths. His limbs were heavy as he tried to doggy paddle to stay alive. He was spinning in circles and couldn’t tell which way to swim. </p>
<p>He told himself to stop panicking, but he knew he couldn’t hold on much longer.</p>
<p>Tears spilled over his cheeks as he accepted that he would never go home again. He would never see his friends again. He was going to die. He started to sink, and he strove upwards and gasped for breath, using what felt like the last of his strength.</p>
<p>Xander forced himself to get control of his mind. He forced himself to calm down. He told himself he had to persist. He had to. He was all he had. No one was going to save him this time.</p>
<p>Xander decided to head back the way he thought he came. He forced his tired body to keep swimming. He was infused with a second wind as fearful adrenalin flooded him, but that too quickly faded. </p>
<p>Xander’s limbs moved in slow motion from exhaustion. He knew with intrinsic certainty that he was going to die out here in the ocean. He could barely keep his mouth above the water. He had his head thrown all the way back as he gasped and gulped for precious air. He was sinking and he couldn’t force himself to move anymore. He felt like he was climbing an invisible ladder that went nowhere. </p>
<p>Xander sucked in one last breath as he felt his body sink under the surface. The ocean engulfed him.</p>
<p>Xander was one breath away from drowning. He was going to die. </p>
<p>His final thoughts, as the pressure of water forced the oxygen from his lungs, was that he deserved it. Darwin’s work did itself.</p>
<p>Xander choked as he lost air. His lungs struggled and seized as the salt water filled his lungs. His body jerked frenetically as he sunk into the dark depths. </p>
<p>He opened his mouth in a reactionary scream as he felt a pressure form around his wrist. A hand latched onto him and pulled him up out of the ocean.</p>
<p>Xander choked. He couldn't breath. He gasped and coughed on the ingested water. He gasped for air as he was dropped onto solid wood. He held himself up on his hands and knees as he coughed and stared down at the wood. After a bit, he set his forehead down against the wood and focused his entire being on shallow breathing. </p>
<p>Suddenly, he was grabbed from behind and each of his arms were lifted up above his head. This opened his rib cage and caused his breathing to get easier and deeper. </p>
<p>Xander winced as his arms were dropped. His hands hit the wood surface before he could catch them. Exhausted, he fell forward. He lay down on the wood as he continued to sputter for breath. </p>
<p>Xander lay soaked and shivering and unable to move his tired limbs. He recognized that he’d been pulled aboard a boat and he silently  thanked any god that would listen to him as he closed his eyes and sucked in breath after breath of beautiful life affirming air.</p>
<p>Xander felt the boat lurch from side to side as his eyes welled up. Tears leaked from his eyelids and when he opened his eyes his vision was blurred. Xander let the tears fall. He wept in happiness. He rolled his forehead against the floorboards of the boat and felt blessed. He knew the chance of some random person dropping in out of nowhere just in time to save him was slim to none. </p>
<p>He smiled faintly as his mind supplied the word, “Lucky”.</p>
<p>Xander used every ounce of his energy to push himself to his feet. He forced himself to stand. Everything hurt. He was so tired. But he was alive! He had to seek out his savior. He felt tears continue to spill over his cheeks and he wiped them away. </p>
<p>There was a human shaped shadow standing nearby.</p>
<p>“Than-” Xander said.</p>
<p>He was unable to finish the phrase as his teeth chattered. Xander’s legs gave out and he fell forward. The stranger stepped forward to catch him. Xander fell upon the stranger’s wet chest and awkwardly tried to give the man a hug with his limp arms as a thank you.</p>
<p>Cold, wet hands encircled Xander’s naked back in a reciprocating hug.</p>
<p>“Thank… You.” Xander gasped out.</p>
<p>His airway was clear, but he still struggled to breath. His throat hurt, and his voice came out like jagged rocks. Xander didn’t know how else to thank the stranger for saving his life. He was a shivering, shaking mess. His teeth chattered loudly. Then, he realized he was naked. Xander filled with shame. He’d done this to himself. Again. Xander turned his face up to the stranger, mortified and humiliated.</p>
<p>His eyes bugged.</p>
<p>“Spike?!”</p>
<p>The vampire produced a throaty chuckle as he leaned to the side and grabbed a grey woolen blanket. He swept it around Xander like a cape and stared at the human through demonic yellow eyes.</p>
<p>Xander’s mind raced as he felt the warm woolen blanket draped across his back. He clutched the dry fabric around himself and found it covered him entirely. He wiped at his face with the blanket before looking up at the vampire. </p>
<p>Xander’s legs nearly gave out again and he sat himself down on the wooden floor. He shifted so that he leaned his back against the side of the boat.</p>
<p>“You should have just let me drown,” Xander joked, “then you’d get a free snack,” </p>
<p>He cleared his throat. His voice sounded like gravel.</p>
<p>He wondered how and when Spike stole a boat as he glanced around the small ship. Xander shivered and shook as he drew his wet, red eyes back to the vampire.</p>
<p>Spike stared at the human, scanning him over, “Trying to off yerself?”</p>
<p>Xander looked into the vampire’s eyes and couldn’t maintain eye contact. He glanced down at the blanket and made sure it was pulled around himself.</p>
<p>“I, uh, made a bad judgment call,” Xander said, “Thanks… for, ya know.”</p>
<p>Spike stared at the wet human. His eyes formed a squint and then after a moment he sucked his teeth and turned to walk away. </p>
<p>Water lapped against the boat and rocked them back and forth as Xander watched the vampire move towards the bow. Spike stood before a large wooden wheel within the canopy. He poked a couple buttons and shifted a lever. The boat shifted into drive and Xander felt himself sway as the boat started moving across the dark water. </p>
<p>Xander sat alone with his thoughts. He was grateful to be alive. He didn’t care if Spike used this moment as ammo to humiliate him for the rest of his life. He was just happy to be alive.</p>
<p>Xander tilted his head back and rested it against the vibrating boat as he stared up at the stars blazing above him in the night sky. He sat replaying his last few minutes in the water. He felt so foolish. He’d almost killed himself. Again. He’d reached a moment of peril. His body had reached a point that it was unable to keep moving.</p>
<p>He recalled the moment he was suffused with feelings of self-preservation that helped him swim a tiny bit more. He thought of that moment juxtapose the moment when he'd had to give up his life and sink. </p>
<p>How stupid did he have to be to think he could swim across the bay?</p>
<p>Xander realized he was crying again as tears rolled down his cheeks. He quickly wiped away the evidence and looked around for Spike. </p>
<p>Xander saw the vampire’s glowing cigarette ember near the wheel and he just knew the vampire was going to lord this over him forever. Xander tucked his face into his knees and reminded himself to be grateful that he was alive. He would take any amount of ribbing from the vampire if only to be able to see Willow, Buffy and Giles again.</p>
<p>Xander straightened his spine and extended his sore legs to rest them. He then winced as double Charlie horses seized him. He rubbed at his legs and reminded himself to be grateful for the pain. It proved he was alive. </p>
<p>Xander started to reminisce his experience again. He recalled being filled with terror and unable to see in the dark. Filled with certainty that he was going to die. He hadn’t known which way to swim. He remembered crying, alone and uncertain of anything but that he had to keep swimming. And when he wasn’t able to do that any longer he’d slipped under. </p>
<p>Xander blinked and came back to himself. He took in a deep breath which turned into a yawn. </p>
<p>He shivered and reprimanded himself for being so stupid. He and Jesse had been able to swim across the bay when they were kids. Kids that spent every day at the beach practicing swimming. Xander hadn’t been swimming in years.<br/> <br/>Xander remembered the moment his lungs filled with water. Then he was exploding out of the water as he was pulled up, sputtering and gasping in breath. His first thoughts were that he was going to be able to see his friends again. He was going to go home again. All because of some miraculous, middle of nowhere lifeguard.</p>
<p>Xander looked around for Spike again. He tried to move, he wanted to stand, but he couldn’t move his body. His limbs were dead weight. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the side of the boat. He let himself soak in the happiness that someone saved him. He slipped off to sleep while reprimanding himself for being so foolish.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p><br/>Spike stood smoking and staring at the sleeping human. The kids throat was exposed with his head tilted back like that. The vampire stared at the column in contemplation. He wondered if he could quickly slice the boy’s artery. He would get a jolt, sure, but then he’d recover and have fresh blood. </p>
<p>Spike shook his head and lit another smoke as he continued to ponder over the whelp. He realized he already lost his chance. The kid killed himself and Spike was stupid enough to save him. Now he stood staring at the sleeping human wondering why he did it. </p>
<p>Spike had spied the human sitting on the beach, earlier, when he boarded the Star Slammer after the sun set. The vampire drove his boat out into the bay and set anchor to watch the stars. As he lay out there, he heard crying and sniffling from the shore. He found a pair of binoculars in the cabin and cursed his luck when he spied none other than the Slayer’s whipping boy. </p>
<p>Spike wondered if he should pick up his anchor and disappear. He began to pull it up when he heard the whelp splash into the water.</p>
<p>Once he finished pulling the anchor up, Spike watched Harris with his binoculars swim out further then most would dare to go. Spike was curious. He lowered the binoculars as Xander swam closer. </p>
<p>The whelp couldn’t be trying to swim across the bay, could he? Spike thought.</p>
<p>As the human swam about halfway across, Spike saw that Harris was in trouble. He listened as the human cried and muttered about what a fucking idiot he was. </p>
<p>Spike grabbed a paddle and slowly circled his boat around the idiot. He didn’t want to start the motor and reveal himself. </p>
<p>Spike moved his boat behind the human and waited to see what would happen.</p>
<p>While Xander struggled, Spike admired the human’s nude form. He admitted that as much as he hated humans, he was attracted to them as well. Youth was attractive. So was middle age. Even in old age there was beauty. Not that he’d ever lie with another man, of course. That was beneath him. Unless of course, it was his Sire’s order’s. Then again, he knew that would never happen since Drusilla deemed homosexuality uncouth. It wasn’t something Spike had to worry about.</p>
<p>Spike waited silent and predatory. Why wouldn’t Harris hurry up and die already? </p>
<p>Xander was flipping onto his back to float and then rolling back to his front to try to swim forwards. The human was panicked and struggling to live. He was also oblivious to Spike’s observations.</p>
<p>Spike propelled his boat closer to the drowning human. When Harris eventually went under, Spike reflexively reached out to snag the mortal and pull him from the water.</p>
<p>The vampire stood staring at the shivering naked human on his deck, perplexed. Spike didn’t understand why he did what he did. He hadn’t planned on saving the mortal from drowning. It was more of an instinct. He supposed he'd been building the habit of aiding the Slayer and her little Scooby’s for so long now... It was an accident.</p>
<p>Spike shook himself from his memories and lit another smoke. He stared at the sleeping human and justified to himself that plucking Harris out of the ocean was an accident. Shit happened.</p>
<p>He kept up the same excuse the entire time he redressed the comatose human with his clothes from the beach. He reiterated it to himself again when he dropped Harris off on his front porch.  He only mentally called himself a twat twice.</p>
<p><br/>* * *</p>
<p><br/>Xander woke up and opened his eyes. He looked around to see he was outside his parent’s house, on the front porch. He sat propped up in a white plastic lawn chair and the sun beat down on him and he squinted and stretched in it’s warmth.</p>
<p>He yawned as he took stock of how sore he was. His whole body radiated pain. He tried to remember what happened the night before. He made to stand but winced and fell back in the chair.</p>
<p>“Holy shit!”</p>
<p>Xander groaned and forced himself to stand. His entire body hurt. He slowly inched his feet forwards and leaned against the doorjamb to unlock the front door with the key from his pocket. </p>
<p>He scratched his head as he entered the house and cringed as his hair crunched in his hand. Sand fell to the ground everywhere around him. </p>
<p>He made his way down the hallway as he felt the pins and needles of blood moving in his legs. He grabbed a set of clean clothes and a towel from the basement before returning upstairs to hop in the shower. </p>
<p>He stood for a while under the shower stream, letting the hot water pound down against him. He turned the water hotter, nearly hot enough to scald him, as he thought about what happened the night before.</p>
<p>He’d drowned again. He’d sunk under the ocean and Spike saved him. He would be dead, if Spike hadn’t been there.</p>
<p>Xander shampooed his hair as he recalled being fished out of the sea during his moment of peril. He remembered landing naked on a boat. Spike had a boat?</p>
<p>Xander washed his body with soap and rinsed off before stepping out of the shower. He stood before the steamy mirror, with a towel around his hips, and stared at his reflection.</p>
<p>“Damn, I’m fucking up big time,” he said.</p>
<p>Xander dried himself and pulled on clean boxers, socks and jeans all the while staring at his reflection in the mirror. He glared at himself and looked away. He couldn't even look at himself.</p>
<p>Xander pulled his shirt over his head and hung his wet towel behind the door, before stepping out of the room. His stomach growled as he headed back towards the basement and he changed direction and headed to the kitchen. </p>
<p>Xander wandered around opening and closing cupboards before staring into the fridge. He saw nothing he wanted to eat and ended up grabbing a pack of poptarts. He pealed back the wrapper and took a bite as he crossed the Living room.</p>
<p>The front door rattled and then swung open. His mom stood before him.</p>
<p>“Hi, Honey!” she said.</p>
<p>“Hi, mom.” Xander said.</p>
<p>While Jessica wrested her luggage over the threshold, Xander used his time to move swiftly and stealthily down the stairs to the basement. He sighed in relief once he was safely ensconced in his den.</p>
<p>Xander laid himself up on the hideabed with a bunch of pillows and beanbags piled around him to create the ultimate cozy little nest. He watched old movies as he sulked. He figured by the time the Scooby gang gathered for their next meeting, Spike would have told everyone about his stupid suicidal swim.</p>
<p>Xander wondered if anyone had talked to Anya yet. He wondered if his friends knew he’d been hospitalized the other day?</p>
<p>Eventually, Xander passed out and his thoughts blissfully stopped.</p>
<p><br/>* * *</p>
<p><br/>The next few days were hard for Xander but he tried to keep himself busy. He was trying to stay sober and away from large bodies of water if he could help it. He didn’t think, if he drowned a third time, he would be so lucky.</p>
<p>Xander enjoyed the sunshine as he wandered around in Hammersmith Park. He was wandering with his head down, worried about the upcoming Scooby mandatory movie meet up, when he physically bumped into Buffy.</p>
<p>“Oof! Hiya, Buffster,” Xander said. “Fancy meeting you here,” </p>
<p>The two sidled up to one another and continued wandering in the park’s green space.</p>
<p>“You too, mister,” Buffy said with a cheerful smile, “Haven’t seen you around lately.”</p>
<p>Xander shrugged and grinned, “Been busy, I guess.”</p>
<p>“With what?” she said.</p>
<p>Xander felt the genuine interest in her gaze and tone of voice and he felt bad for being such a crummy friend. He stopped and bit his lip.</p>
<p>Buffy stopped too and they stared at one another. She was smiling but curious.</p>
<p>“Anya and I broke up.” Xander said.</p>
<p>Buffy’s face fell, “Oh,”</p>
<p>Xander nodded and made some stupid arm movements as he tried to figure out what else to tell her.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, that sucks,” Buffy said.</p>
<p>“It’s ok. It wasn’t working. I’m fine with it.”</p>
<p>Buffy gave him a look.</p>
<p>“Okay, I’m not doing great, but I’ll be okay… eventually,” he said.</p>
<p>Xander smiled and Buffy returned the grin. Then her smile dropped, and she squished up her nose.</p>
<p>“I guess that’s how I am too… I… I broke up with Riley.”</p>
<p>Xander’s eyebrows rose, “What? When? I thought he was perfect. Wasn’t he perfect?”</p>
<p>Buffy shrugged, “On paper… yeah.”</p>
<p>“Have you told anyone?” Xander asked.</p>
<p>“No. Just you.” Buffy said, “I’ve been hiding and crying and double guessing… pretty much didn’t do anything for the last week. Mom kicked me out of the house today. She said fresh air would do me good.”</p>
<p>Xander nodded and took in an over dramatic deep breath. Buffy followed suit and the two laughed together. Xander glanced around and then turned back to Buffy. He pointed to indicate the way they should keep walking. </p>
<p>They wandered the park together for a while discussing their respective break ups. Xander felt like a thousand pounds lifted from his shoulders just by talking with his friend.</p>
<p>He didn’t reveal to her that he’d drowned, twice. He didn’t know what to even say about it. He didn’t want to die. He was just stupid.</p>
<p>“You know, Buff. I think we should just date."</p>
<p>Xander said it in jest but Buffy turned to him and stared at him for a long moment.</p>
<p>"Like, as friends?" she said.</p>
<p>Xander shrugged, "Er, sure?”</p>
<p>Buffy nodded, “Might be an idea,”</p>
<p>Xander shrugged, “I mean, we could keep each other busy."</p>
<p>“You know, that doesn’t sound half bad," Buffy said, "I’ve been feeling so lonely lately that I’ve been looking at Giles differently.”</p>
<p>Xander let that sentence linger in the air, as he blinked with exaggeration.</p>
<p>“Giles?!?” he said.</p>
<p>Buffy smacked his arm, but she was grinning. </p>
<p>“Oh, shut up!” she said.</p>
<p>Xander laughed.</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s set some boundaries,” Buffy said, “We’re just dating as friends. So, no kissing and touchy-feely stuff. We’re just filling space, right?”</p>
<p>“Right. We’re filling each other’s voids,” Xander said.</p>
<p>Buffy’s face squished up and Xander laughed.</p>
<p>“We should keep this secret,” she said, “The others won’t understand. They would just get involved and it would end messy.”</p>
<p>Xander nodded. “Right. Okay. So, we’re secretly non lovers, but we date.”</p>
<p>Buffy laughed, and Xander enjoyed the sound.</p>
<p>“This is so stupid!” she said.</p>
<p>“It’s only stupid until you need it.”</p>
<p>“Like late at night when you need someone to talk to?” she said.</p>
<p>“Exactly” Xander said, “Alright, faux-girlfriend of mine, where should we go on our first date?”</p>
<p>Buffy pursed her lips, “How about a movie? I haven’t been to the theater in forever.”</p>
<p>Xander grimaced, “There’s a reason for that, the Sunnydale cinema only gets 10 new movies a year and they only show one of them if more then 7 people show up for the show.”</p>
<p>Buffy snorted, “Okay, so, we try for a movie date, but if that doesn’t work let’s have a contingency plan. What do you want to do?”</p>
<p>Xander’s mind went straight to bowling, because Anya would never go with him.</p>
<p>“Bowling?” Xander said.</p>
<p>Buffy shrugged, “Oh man, I haven’t been in so long! When?”</p>
<p>“How about tomorrow?”</p>
<p>Buffy nodded, “It’s a date.”</p>
<p>“A date it is,” Xander said.</p>
<p>In his mind Xander shouted 'Yahoo!', because he was finally officially dating the amazing Slayer, regardless of it being in a non-official capacity. He didn’t mind that fact though, since he was happy to have someone to connect to in his bout of loneliness. He’d been feeling so dismal lately that talking with Buffy invigorated him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p><br/>Spike stood on his boat staring out into the dark waters. He was reminiscing about the other night. The demon within was asking why he saved the boy. He should of let him drown and then fed off his corpse. Instead, opposite to his nature, he’d saved the whelp from drowning and he was disgusted with himself.</p>
<p>Spike sneered as he looked up at the twinkling night sky. He was a pathetic excuse for a vampire. No matter what he did, he always managed to sink to further and further lows.</p>
<p>He cursed the chip in his brain as looked back down and scanned the open waters. He shouldn’t be caged by the bit of metal. It wasn’t natural. </p>
<p>Spike stared at shore as he waited for the signal. </p>
<p>His quasi-friend who worked at a restaurant at the docks needed him to transport something. Spike wasn’t told what it was, but he didn’t think he’d mind whatever it was, bodies – dead or alive – it didn’t matter to him.</p>
<p>It wasn’t like he was one of the Slayer’s groupies, aiding her to rid the world of nasties. Pfft! Spike knew better then that black and white bullshit. He wasn’t as evil as there ever was, and he was no prince charming. He was just selfish. He had himself, alone, to ride out eternity with.</p>
<p>Spike saw a light flash in his direction and he drove his boat over to the dock. The back end of the building had a wooden wharf wrapped all the way around it and standing to one side Spike saw two men. </p>
<p>As the boat gently bumped against the dock, Spike scanned the two of them. He took in his friend, Dale. He had his blond hair gelled back and was standing there in his waiter uniform. Dale’s blue eyes snapped up and he smiled at Spike and waved hello.</p>
<p>Spikes turned to look at the brunet standing next to Dale and he paused as he recognized the man.</p>
<p>“Oi! I know you. Saw ya climb inside an old git, din I?”</p>
<p>The brunet man smirked, a flicker of surprised staining his features, “You may have.”</p>
<p>Spike tilted his head upon hearing the man’s English accent. Too many bloody Brits in this shit town, he thought.</p>
<p>“Come aboard,” Spike said, “It’s you I’m moving, innit?” </p>
<p>The brunet nodded. He shook Dale’s hand and then stepped aboard.</p>
<p>Spike saluted Dale, who saluted back. Then Dale stood back to watch them launch.</p>
<p>Spike set course and watched as the Englishman took a seat.</p>
<p>Spike having been preoccupied with having gone soft after saving the whelp now felt like the cure had come. Here was a man who enticed Spike. The Englishman was responsible for the best mayhem Spike had seen all summer. </p>
<p>He steered the ship out into the ocean as he asked the man what he knew about removing behavior modification chips. He was sad to learn that it was very little. All the Englishman could say was that there was a human doctor hidden somewhere in Sunnydale. It wasn’t a lot to go on, but it gave Spike hope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p><br/>Spike was drunk. Or he wasn’t drunk enough. He stomped down the steps of the bronze and strode towards the door. He was almost outside when a human ran into him. Spike stood still, reflexively grabbed his head and growled in pain.</p>
<p>Only he wasn’t in pain. </p>
<p>Spike lifted his hand from his wincing face to see Xander, the bloody bane of his existence, crawling to stand.</p>
<p>The human glared at him and snarled, “Serves you right.”</p>
<p>Spike blinked at Xander. He was in shock. </p>
<p>His chip hadn’t gone off. Had it stopped working?</p>
<p>Xander rubbed his elbow as he glared at the vampire and moved past him into the bronze. </p>
<p>Spike stood staring after him, baffled. He blinked as he looked around. What the bloody hell? </p>
<p>A wicked grin overtook the vampire’s face and he spun on his heel and re-entered the club and scanned for some prey. </p>
<p>He saw her instantly. A woman stood bathed in strobe lights as she danced alone on the dance floor. She wore high heels, and was painted in a sparkly skin-tight black dress.</p>
<p>Spike smirked and wandered right in front her. The human slowed her dancing as she looked him over. Then she grinned and reached out and pet his leather lapels as she undulated her hips.</p>
<p>Spike put up a mirror in his mind as he silently stared at the girl. Her dancing became sultrier and more inviting and Spike knew exactly what she wanted.</p>
<p>He watched his prey with hawk like eyes. The girl flashed a sexy red painted smile and moved closer to him, reaching out to circle his neck with her hands and scratch the back of his neck with her long red nails.</p>
<p>Spike reached out an arm to pull the slim body close. The woman ground her pelvis against him and Spikes smirk morphed into a grin. It was too easy.</p>
<p>As the song neared its end, he grabbed the pretty young woman’s hand and led her outside.</p>
<p>Spike walked the girl away from the entrance and pressed her up against the wall of the alley. He looked down at her and saw she reminded him of Drusilla. She had fair skin, and a shoulder length black bob topped with Betty page bangs. Spike stared into the girl’s dark eyes and decided yes, this girl would be his first kill. She would be perfect.</p>
<p>He leaned in and kissed the girl. He voraciously tongue fucked her mouth until the mortal was out of breath and pushing him away. Spike pulled back and settled his face over her throat as the girl gasped in air.</p>
<p>The vampire tilted her head to the side and steadied himself. He was beyond excited. He felt like jumping for joy, but he had to bite her first. He licked his lips and bit down. As his fangs touched the girls skin Spike jumped and yelled out in agony as his chip went off.</p>
<p>“Bloody balls!” </p>
<p>Spike growled and turned away from the human to kick a stray box. He stalked out of the alley and disappeared into the night leaving the female shocked and stupid cowering up against the brick wall.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dreamscape</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Xander squinted into the sun as he turned to look around at Buffy, Willow, and Giles. The dream team, the core crew members of the Scooby gang. Those who fight the good fight. Xander smiled a goofy smile and scanned their faces. </p>
<p>The trio stood bathed in sun. Behind them was a white sand beach littered with squat brown cabin structures. The vast blue ocean lapped at the length of the peninsula. </p>
<p>Xander felt at peace. He spread his arms out to bask in the perfect moment. He twirled around as he breathed in the sea air. He could hear the gentle lapping of the waves and he opened his eyes to stare out at the ocean. </p>
<p>He blinked in shock as he glanced around. He stared at the dark forest before him, confused. Where did that come from?</p>
<p>Xander turned around, seeking Buffy. There she was. She was standing by the white-crested surf, smiling her majestic smile, bathed in sunshine. Buffy tossed her shining blond hair over her shoulder. Her perfect pink lips smiled. Xander beamed a smile back at her.</p>
<p>Willow's high-pitched scream rent the air.</p>
<p>Xander whipped around, eyes wide.</p>
<p>Willow was pointing at the forest.</p>
<p>Giles yelled, "Run! Hurry!"</p>
<p>Xander felt Giles' steel-like grip pulling at him as the Englishman ran passed. Xander's feet ran forward, where Giles led, while his eyes drew back towards the forest. He saw Oz rushing out of the tree line. The werewolf was being chased by a hoard of zombies.</p>
<p>Buffy yelled, "Go! Run!" </p>
<p>Xander looked forward and focused on running a fast as he could. It felt impossible in the sand. They ran towards the closest derelict cabin. </p>
<p>Xander turned at the foot of the cabin stairs, when he heard Oz scream. Xander watched him get taken down to the ground by zombies and ravaged.</p>
<p>As the werewolf stilled, the undead creatures turned as a mob and started towards the cabin. </p>
<p>Buffy came up to him and pushed him towards the cabin, "Go! Go!"</p>
<p>They rushed up the steps of the cabin. Willow shrieked as she lost her footing, tripping and falling, as a stair gave way.</p>
<p>Xander stopped at the top of the stairs. He made to go back to help her but when he swung around, he was splattered with blood as Willow was torn apart by the undead.</p>
<p>"No!" Xander yelled.</p>
<p>A zombie grabbed at him. He dodged back and scrambled backwards up the stairs. His heart and mind were shattered because Willow was dead.</p>
<p>Xander stumbled backwards into a wall. Arms encircled him from behind and pulled him backwards. He let himself be dragged. His feet were mindless until he saw Buffy dash up the steps covered in blood and ichor. She slammed the wooden door closed on a few desperate zombie arms. A finger dropped to the floor as Buffy was able to strong-arm the door shut and latch it.</p>
<p>Xander pulled out of the grip holding him and spun around. “What the hell are you doing here?” he said.</p>
<p>Xander yanked his arm away from the bleached blond vampire, glaring hotly. </p>
<p>Spike grabbed him by his shirt collar and Xander gagged as he struggled against the vampire. It was useless. He was dragged like a dog to the rear of the cabin.</p>
<p>Spike growled in his face, "There's no time!" </p>
<p>Xander was then shoved towards Giles and the two of them rushed out the back door into the dark night.</p>
<p>Xander gasped for air as he and Giles ran through the thick, green forest. </p>
<p>The moon was full and lit the landscape dimly. He could hear birds but he couldn’t see them. Sand squished under his bare feet as he and Giles slowed and skulked towards a lit-up cabin in the distance. He looked around as they grew closer, but could only see shadows cast by the light of the moon. </p>
<p>Xander followed Giles out of the dark woods and into a clearing. The both stared up at the cabin. Giles approached it and Xander had to shield his eyes as the older man opened the door and lit up the dark night.</p>
<p>Xander followed Giles inside. He glanced around frightened as Buffy and Spike rushed into the cabin and latched the door behind them. Xander could hear growling from the forest as Giles struggled to move an apothecary cabinet in front of the door as a barricade. </p>
<p>Sniffling and crying drew Xander's attention away from the zombies closing in on them. He crossed the cabin to seek out the noise and found Tara sitting tucked up under a table crying.</p>
<p>Xander approached the blond witch. She sat huddled in a small ball, her wet eye sockets touching her knees. Xander tried to get Tara to stand. He told her she had to leave, that the zombies were coming. But Tara stayed where she was bawling her eyes out. </p>
<p>The room grew tense as the growling zombies grew louder outside. They were festering beyond the door. </p>
<p>Giles peaked out through the crack in a boarded-up window.</p>
<p>Xander gave up trying to move the crying witch. He looked around as he heard breaking glass. The zombies were pulling the boards off the windows.</p>
<p>Ignoring the grunting and growling, Xander scanned the cabin for a weapon. He looked up and gasped as he saw Giles' tweed-clad trousers pulled through the broken window.</p>
<p>"No!" Xander cried.</p>
<p>Buffy turned to Spike and yelled, "CLOCKS TICKING!" </p>
<p>Spike, who stood next to her, winced and grabbed his ears.</p>
<p>Xander squinted at Buffy in confusion, "What?"</p>
<p>Buffy turned on her heel, resolution face to the fore, as she headed to the front door.</p>
<p>Xander shouted, "No!" but it wouldn't come out. </p>
<p>He tried again but nothing came out. He reached up to touch his mouth in confusion, but Spike grabbed his arm and manhandled him to the rear of the cabin. The vampire shoved Xander out the open window at the same moment that Buffy opened the front door.</p>
<p>Xander landed on his ass in the sand after falling from the window. As he scrambled to stand, Spike yanked on his arm and the two of them ran across the sand towards the next cabin. </p>
<p>Xander felt panic festering below his breast bone but he shelved it as he pushed himself to run faster. He had to survive this. He had to make it to the next cabin.</p>
<p>They made it over the threshold of the next abandoned shack and Spike barricaded the door. </p>
<p>Xander saw a large machete glinting on a dust-covered table. He scooped it up and then Spike was telling him to run. They had to keep going. </p>
<p>Spike pushed Xander out of the way as the window crashed inwards and a zombie entered followed by his friends. Spike fought the undead off as he corralled Xander into a broken-down bathroom and told him to lock the door. </p>
<p>Xander leaned against the locked bathroom door, clutching his knife, as he looked around for an escape. Seeing nothing he slid down to the floor. He could hear Spike fighting the zombies on the other side of the door. </p>
<p>Xander felt hot tears spill over his cheeks when he heard it. </p>
<p>The silence. </p>
<p>Spike was dead.</p>
<p>Xander stopped breathing.</p>
<p>Bang!</p>
<p>He jumped and stood up, backing away from the bathroom door.</p>
<p>The Zombies were outside the bathroom door.</p>
<p>Xander took one last glance around the windowless bathroom. The wood door splintered and cracked.</p>
<p>Xander swallowed and shook as he clutched the machete. Everyone was dead. What else was there to fight for? There was no one left. He was alone. He’d never felt as alone as he did at that moment.</p>
<p>The rage-filled animistic growling grew louder as the zombies ripped down the door. The partition between them came down with a crash and Xander jumped in fright. </p>
<p>He drew the blade of the machete across his own throat in one smooth stroke and dropped to the wooden floor. He watched the zombies swarmed his body as his vision faded to black.</p>
<p><br/>* * *</p>
<p><br/>Xander woke up in a cold sweat. He gasped and looked around with unseeing eyes. He started to shiver as his warm sweat turned him to ice. He pulled the kicked off blanket around himself but was unable to get back to sleep. He focused on his racing heart, trying to calm it, but then eventually got up and went outside to stand on the front stoop to breath in fresh air. </p>
<p>He pulled his blanket around his shoulders as he breathed in the crisp night air. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorjamb. He focused on listening to the wind rustling through the trees. Anything to take his mind off his nightmare.</p>
<p>Soon, he grew paranoid that something ominous was lurking in the looming darkness and he shuffled back inside. </p>
<p>The dream left his thoughts the more he moved around, so he turned on the lights and started picking up clothes and tidying up the basement. He made himself some hot chocolate with the kettle on the portable element and then sat down with it on the couch. He propped his chin in his hand and got lost in his thoughts.</p>
<p>He missed Anya. He wasn't surprised that she wasn't in his recent nightmare. She never was. Xander hadn't dreamed of her once since she'd left two months ago.</p>
<p>No one had seen Anya since she'd come to Xander in the hospital to tell him that she was breaking up with him. </p>
<p>Xander thought he was getting along fine, and he had, for the first week… but, after that, he'd turned into an emotional lonely mess.  He was grateful that he had Buffy to confide in.</p>
<p>Buffy also helped him fill a lot of time. They did a lot together lately.</p>
<p>It used to be that between patrolling, work and Anya, he was yearning for a moment to himself. Now, though, with Anya gone and work drying up, he had too many moments alone; and no idea how to fill them. Helping Buffy patrol again and hanging out with her, one on one, gave Xander something to do and a sense of purpose.</p>
<p>Xander tried to shake the self-pitying thoughts from his head. Yep, he'd woken up in the same reality. A world where Anya left him, he’d accidentally drowned twice, and he was in a fake relationship with his best friend to keep himself from falling apart.</p>
<p>He'd almost rather the weird fucked up horror dream he'd just woken up from over his own current reality. Xander set down his hot mug and threw his face down into his arms. He pushed his eyes into the meat of his forearm and sighed as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. </p>
<p>He missed Anya. He didn’t know if it was because he missed her, or if he missed always having her around.</p>
<p>It didn’t matter, anyways. Anya was gone. What could Xander do? It was Anya's life. It was her choice how she wanted to spend her time. Or who she wanted to spend it with.</p>
<p>Xander lifted his head from his arm and sat up straight. He reached out and lifted his hot chocolate for a sip. He'd already moped away his whole summer. Two whole months that he would never get back. He needed to get over this already. Move on. Date.</p>
<p>Unable to stop thinking about Anya, he drank down his hot chocolate and got up to pour himself a bowl of cereal. He grabbed a splash of milk from his bar fridge and saw he was running low. He made a mental note to buy more as well as more food.</p>
<p>He hadn't been eating much since Anya left. He hadn't felt the need. He joked with the girls that he was on the "heartbreak diet" since it seemed to be working for him. He'd lost 15 lbs in two months.</p>
<p>Xander wolfed down his cereal and then sat down on the folded up hideabed. He turned on the TV to watch infomercials turn into cartoons and gladly turned off his brain as he lazed on the couch. </p>
<p>After a while he changed the channel to see what was happening with the news. He sat up and paid attention as a breaking announcement took over his screen. The news anchor explained that the owner of the magic box 'Wicca emporium' had been murdered. The police had no suspect and were looking for leads.</p>
<p>Xander got up, curiosity peaked. He turned off the TV and then jumped in the shower. He dressed in baggy cargo pants and a white and navy Baseball shirt before he looked out the window. He saw the sun cresting the horizon and sighed. It was still too early to go bug the girls, or Giles for that matter. </p>
<p>Damning his nightmare for waking him up so early, Xander sat down on the couch to pull on clean socks. He lounged back on the sofa to read a comic as he waited for time to pass.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Drusilla's Nightmare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
Drusilla sat in an overstuffed armchair before a large fireplace. Floor to ceiling mirrors framed the hearth and she stared into the reflective surface to watch the scene unfold behind her. She sat combing her long dark hair as she looked through the mirror. She stared at the comatose blond woman who lay upon the blood stained mattress pushed into the corner of the room.  </p><p>Crouched above the woman was a lanky cocoa colored man with chin-length curly black hair. Drusilla watched the man move around the comatose woman poking and prodding her.</p><p>The room was dark, draped from the mid-day sun. The great room's massive fireplace was ablaze, casting shadows that swept across the leather furniture. Cedar walls and short ceilings kept the room stuffy and warm. Yet, despite the warmth, all Drusilla felt was the ice-cold realization that Jamie was home. She wondered what mood he was in.</p><p>Drusilla scanned the mirror’s reflection as she combed her hair. She was mindful not to draw attention to herself. She kept her comb moving at a steady pace.</p><p>Jamie was just as attractive as when Drusilla first met him. He had blue eyes and jet-black curly hair that hung over his ears and often fell into his face. His skin was clear and a light cocoa color. He had straight white teeth and a genuine looking smile.  </p><p>Drusilla pursed her lips and paused her downward comb for a fraction of a second as her mind focused on the word 'genuine'. She soon learned that Jamie wasn’t genuine at all. Instead, he was a sociopath. Completely self-serving.  </p><p>Drusilla continued to comb her hair as she recalled how she came to be under the servitude of such a cruel man. She let her mind wind back to her arrival in Sunnydale, all the while continuing to comb her tangle free hair.</p><p>Two months ago, Drusilla returned to the mouth of hell after receiving a vision from the Powers That Be. Unbelieving that the vision of her Childe dying was destiny, Drusilla participated in a hallucinogenic tea ceremony with shamans in Montreal. It was there that she learned that she was to have a personal hand in helping save the life of her Childe.</p><p>Of course, once she’d arrived in the small town of Sunnydale, her plan had gone awry. On the second night, while searching for William, Drusilla met Jamie. She knew at once, that he was the man who would change her life.</p><p>As was natural, Drusilla made to brush off the human interaction as the tall human stepped into her path. Vampires chose their humans, not the other way around. Humans were beneath a vampire's notice. And yet, when Jamie stepped into her path, Drusilla found herself amused at the human's presumptuousness. She shocked herself by accepting the man's outstretched hand.</p><p>As Jamie’s large warm hand engulfed hers, Drusilla stood entranced by the human’s cerulean eyes and dark skin. Jamie bent forward, his dark hair obscuring his face while he kissed the top of her hand in formal greeting.  </p><p>As he kissed her hand, Drusilla went preternaturally still as a succession of future events flashed through her mind. For long seconds, Drusilla saw herself elsewhere as the vision accosted her.</p><p>She saw herself wounded and beyond famished. She needed blood. So much blood. She needed to eat.  Drusilla felt herself dragged through the pouring rain. Someone’s warm arms wrapped around her waist. It was a human.  </p><p>Drusilla’s head bobbed against the human's shoulder as they both stumbled in the muddy terrain. Drusilla’s hair matted to her face and she lifted a hand to clear the hair from her eyes. She saw a blistering brand on her hand. She tried to speak but couldn’t. She was so hungry. She looked around, focusing on the sound of the human's heart beating. It jarred her senses and she felt her facial features change. Drusilla fell the call of the human's blood and she gave in to the craving.</p><p>She launched forward, coiling her limbs around the body holding her up. She clutched the dark-haired human close as she fought and wriggled. Drusilla slid her razor-sharp fangs into the pliant flesh of the woman’s taut neck and groaned as blood splashed into her mouth. She drank in awe. She was drinking a slayer! She gulped down the rich blood of a vampire slayer as fast as she could.  </p><p>Euphoric, Drusilla pushed the slayer away and stood staring at her as she fell to the muddy ground. Drusilla saw, through the pounding rain, the dead slayer's hand relax and open. A small brown pebble tumbled out and rolled out of sight. The stone was a tiny perfect sphere with an engraving on it. Drusilla recognized its importance immediately.</p><p>Drusilla then came back to herself in the Bronze standing before Jamie. </p><p>She’d blinked the vision away as the flashing lights of the club assaulted her. The vision had been so all-consuming that she could still remember the taste of the raven-haired slayer. She immediately understood the situation and gave the man before her a simpering smile.</p><p>“Who are you?” Drusilla said.</p><p>She knew, without a doubt, that she’d received the vision because of her physical contact with the human before her. She wanted, more then anything, to learn how this man connected to the brown stone and her plan to save William. Not to mention, she’d also like to drain a slayer.</p><p>The tall, dark, handsome man smiled.</p><p>“Jamie Caledonia. And you are?”</p><p>“Drusilla,”  </p><p>She curtsied, all the while confounded by her recent vision. It was as if the mortal’s touch had provoked the future sight. As seconds past, Drusilla felt the vision wisp from her mind like smoke. The forceful intruding thoughts morphed into half-baked memories and she blinked as she smiled up at the stranger. Drusilla guessed that the man standing before her was a catalyst. He’d sparked the vision with his touch alone. Drusilla reflected how the powers liked to tease her in visions. They liked to tantalize her curiosity, often holding faux carrots over her head like a rabbit.  </p><p>She knew that when it came to her visions, the only way to figure out how they ended was to take part. One had to act out the vision until the end.</p><p>It was in that moment, as the music changed into a marching drum beat and the bass started up, that Drusilla made her choice. She chose to stay in Jamie Caledonia's timeline. Drusilla knew that if she stuck with this mystery man, she would eventually meet up and drink down the dark-haired slayer. Consumed with the idea of drinking a slayer, Drusilla almost missed the man’s next question.</p><p>“Do you want to get out of here?”</p><p>Drusilla smirked and latched onto Jamie's offered elbow. She then followed him from the nightclub back to his large family manor on the hill overlooking the ocean.  </p><p>That’s where it all began, in the bronze, with a vision.</p><p>Drusilla’s mind catapulted back to the present as Jamie forced a bone to break within the comatose woman’s leg. The snap of bone and torn cartilage made Drusilla shiver. She continued to stare into the mirror and watched as Jamie cradled the woman’s bruised and broken leg.</p><p>Drusilla was thankful the woman was in a coma. She didn’t think she could stand to hear the screams that would accompany such torture.</p><p>Drusilla let her mind wander a moment in premeditation. She could leave. She could find a way out. She was a vampire for Morgana’s sake.</p><p>Drusilla then looked down at her hands and decided once again that escape wasn’t worth the trouble.</p><p>‘My day will come,’ she reassured herself mentally.</p><p>Drusilla knew that she could leave Jamie at any time. She often reminded herself that the timelines changed. People made choices that altered the timelines all the time.  </p><p>She also knew that she couldn’t leave. It would be a fruitless endeavor. The powers had shown her their cards, and she’d read the stars herself. Even if she flew away like a little birdy today, tomorrow she would end up circling back here. That’s the funny thing about destiny. She was already on this path before she chose it.</p><p>She can’t leave. She’s seen the future. Things may be bad for her now, but she knows that if she can withstand the present moment, then her reward is her very own Slayer. Not only that, but her sweet William, her Childe will live. She wanted nothing more.</p><p>After meeting at the Bronze nightclub, Jamie and Drusilla hooked up. Drusilla showed the human her vampire face and drank from him after the act. Despite this, Jamie contacted her again the next night. And the next.</p><p>Lured in with empty words and false pretense, Jamie love-bombed Drusilla the first few weeks. Fresh off a recent breakup she fell for it hook, line and sinker.</p><p>Drusilla pursed her lips as she recalled the memories of puppy love she’d fallen for in the beginning. Jamie had been kind, and Drusilla swam in his simpering devotion. He appeared enthusiastic about everything Drusilla came to mention or do. He doted on her.</p><p>Now, two months later, Drusilla knew a much different man. Those first few weeks were a lie. A front.  </p><p>In her mind, the human she fell for was no longer present. If, in fact, he ever was.</p><p>Now, as she watched as Jamie moved around behind her in the mirror’s reflection, Drusilla knew that Jamie was more of a monster then she was.</p><p>She’d found him so exciting at first. They’d flirted and fucked and spent a couple amazing weeks together. Then, two weeks in, everything turned on its side. Drusilla woke up chained up against a wall. Her bare toes grazing the cold wooden floor as she hung from shackled wrists. She tugged on her chains, assuming Jamie was playing another sex game, chaffing her own wrists raw on the metal with glee.</p><p>The first night, Drusilla enjoyed the torture. She didn’t scream or cry when Jamie broke her legs. First snapping her left leg followed by shattering her right. Instead, she laughed and goaded him on. She thought the night of torture was a night of experimentation.</p><p>She didn't worry since she knew the breaks wouldn’t last. She had vampiric healing. She also found she was quite fond of Jamie tending to her wounds after he caused them. Except, this time he didn’t tend to her.</p><p>Jamie’s bedside manor evaporated. He broke her legs into bits and then left her unfed and alone dangling broken in chains.  </p><p>Drusilla hung suspended in agony. He broken bones chaffed within her skin as they tried to heal. She thought through the throes of pain and tugged at the chains. She couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Her mind raced, and she started to panic. Darkness overtook her vision and she blacked out.</p><p>Jamie slapped Drusilla across the face to wake her. The echo of it reverberated around the great room as she came to with a start.  </p><p>Drusilla opened her eyes and froze as she recalled the state of her body. She registered the tension in her wrists and arms, as well as the deep throbbing pain of her broken lower limbs. She wondered how she even registered the stinging in her cheek.</p><p>She could sense it was daytime. She squinted around the dim room illuminated by the firelight and candles. She knew that the sun shone behind the curtains across from her. She also knew that she couldn’t run and hide. She was in a bad spot.</p><p>Drusilla blinked her dark eyes in confusion towards her lover.  </p><p>He was looking above her.</p><p>Drusilla followed Jamie’s line of vision. She tilted her head up to see her bruised and bloody wrists locked within magical shackles.</p><p>Drusilla watched him reach up and unlocked a cuff. As her weight released from the cuff, Drusilla’s whole body flinched. She let out a piercing cry as she tried to support her weight on her broken legs.</p><p>She squished her eyes tight as if the act could shut out the torture. She dangled by one wrist and whimpered. Jamie undid the other cuff and Drusilla shrieked as she slammed into the floor.</p><p>Drusilla let out a silent scream as she sat upon her broken legs. They'd buckled beneath her and she sat in a broken heap.  </p><p>Jamie grabbed her by the hair and dragged her across the room. Drusilla tried to use her numb arms to follow the tugging, but it didn’t help. She whaled in agony.</p><p>Jamie dragged Drusilla across the cold floor and deposited her onto a twin mattress tucked into the dark corner of the room.  </p><p>Drusilla lay like a rag doll, frozen as Jamie untangled her broken legs. She gritted her teeth and glared venom up at Jamie.</p><p>Jamie’s dark eyes never met Drusilla’s. His focus was on her broken legs. His large cocoa colored hands gripped the broken legs and fondled them.</p><p>Drusilla cringed and cried out, “Jamie-”</p><p>He silenced her with another smack across the face.</p><p>Drusilla tried to think. She had to keep herself calm. Her mind scrambled for a way to get out of this. Then, her mind went blank, as Jamie started torturing her. His grip tightened and he violently yanked on the broken limbs.</p><p>Drusilla screamed and Jamie shoved an old rag in her mouth. He smiled as he roughly grabbed her broken kneecap. Drusilla lost consciousness from the pain.  </p><p>When Drusilla woke up, she was alone with her thoughts. It was then that she cemented her own devotion to the powers that be. She winced as pain laced up her legs and into her back. She knew that she could switch it all off. She could lose her small speck of humanity and give herself over to her demon... Her demon could better withstand the torture. But she couldn't let herself turn off.  </p><p>Drusilla recalled how she’d woken up with her mind filled with the memory of her last vision. Her sneak peek of the future. A future that she reverently wanted. She knew she would enjoy her new raven-haired slayer once the vision came to pass.</p><p>It was then that everything became clear for Drusilla. She was being tested by the powers that be. This was the price she had to pay, and she would accept it. She knew what she had to do.</p><p>So, over the two weeks manacled to the bed in Jamie’s great room, Drusilla grew to learn that this was her new normal. She lived through daily tortures, as she morphed from lover to prisoner.</p><p>Jamie would start his day by waking Drusilla with violence. He sometimes force fed her until she was barfing up blood, if he decided he wanted to cut into her. Otherwise, he would re-break her leg bones again and again, all the while keeping her starved.</p><p>Day after day, Jamie ground down what little Drusilla’s body could recreate of bone. A vampire’s legs healed fast, though not in a day. Drusilla’s leg bones were unable to heal, and the repeated fractures and half-healed injuries left her in agony.  </p><p>Even now, over a month after the last leg break, she wasn’t steady when she stood.</p><p>Drusilla suppressed her shiver as her mind lent back. She didn’t have scars, but the memories remained. She could still hear her own bones breaking every time Jamie broke one of the humans.</p><p>Drusilla paused her comb in mid-stroke as she watched Jamie force a bone to break in the prone human’s leg. No scream rent the air. The woman lying there had been comatose for a month now. Ever since she’d shown up in the middle of the night and given birth.</p><p>The night that everything changed once again.  </p><p>Since that night, Drusilla was no longer a lover, or a prisoner. Instead she moved up to slave status. When the girl showed up, Drusilla’s torture stopped. Jamie had found his new victim.  </p><p>Drusilla would never forget the night when the human girl showed up. She'd been lying in the twin bed in Jamie’s great room, staring up at the roof’s dark wood paneling. She’d tilted her head back and looked up at her bleeding and broken wrists encased in heavy iron manacles. Then she glanced down and saw that her lower body was nude. Her dress fabric torn asunder in Jamie’s haste to play with his broken toy.  </p><p>Jamie was standing near the bed, dressing after a particularly violent fuck. Drusilla had failed to hide her wince as Jamie withdrew from her and knocked her broken legs together. Her cheek smarted from him smacking her for it.  </p><p>Drusilla stayed mute, hampered by a constant fog of pain.  </p><p>She watched as Jamie mouth twisted into a prideful smirk while he pulled on his clean black chinos and slipped a black silk shirt over his shoulders. He continued to stare down at her, while he buttoned up his shirt.</p><p>Breaking the silence, the doorbell rang.  </p><p>Jamie stared at Drusilla as his head tilted in thought. Then he leaned down to kiss her roughly on her chapped lips.</p><p>“Don’t move, or I won’t be kind,” Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla closed her eyes as he moved in close as if to kiss her again. Something sharp stabbed between her ribs, instead. Drusilla gasped and shook her head. She felt the pressure recede from her rib cage as a knocking sound reverberated throughout the house.</p><p>Drusilla watched as Jamie dropped a bloody knife on the side table before leaving the room.</p><p>Once Jamie closed the door, a tiny smirk transformed Drusilla’s lips. She kept still as the stab wound in her side stung and wept blood. Drusilla replayed Jamie’s threat in her mind as she focused on listening to his footsteps.  </p><p>She could hear that it was raining outside. Uneven raindrops pattered against the metal roof. The slight rumble of thunder vibrated through her.</p><p>Drusilla loved when it rained and stormed. Every single time it happened she hoped her vision would come to fruition. Rain was a gamble in California, it only rained about a dozen times a year. So as much as she wondered if tonight would be the night, she also doubted it. Drusilla recalled how famished she was in the vision, and she wasn’t currently.</p><p>Rather than focus on her desired future, she instead clung to the word Jamie used: “kind”.</p><p>No, she wouldn’t expect him to be kind. Jamie wasn’t kind. He didn’t even know the word. He was sadistic and obsessed with pain.  </p><p>It didn’t surprise Drusilla that she’d been drawn to him. She liked her pain like she liked her pleasure - a lot. But Jamie was a different breed of evil. He had something off in his mind, and not in a crazy way like  her... Instead, Jamie got off on hurting people. He was fixated on breaking legs.</p><p>Jamie’s curly hair fell forward with a jerk in the reflective surface, and Drusilla blinked and came back to the present moment. She gripped the bone china comb in her lap as she stared at Jamie’s reflection in the mirror.</p><p>The vampiress inspected the human girl, curiously. Jamie was tending to the blond woman’s broken legs.</p><p>Drusilla continued to comb her hair and let her mind lend back to when the human showed up a month previous.  </p><p>Shackled, broken and stabbed, Drusilla laid upon the bed delirious with pain. Someone was pounding on the door.  </p><p>While she strained to listen, Drusilla daydreaming about burning the house down. She could hear a demon on the front lawn growl in distress as his prey escaped and stepped into the house. A small smile curled her lips as she heard Jamie welcome the demon’s dinner into the house.  </p><p>Jamie brought a human in from the rain and closed the door.</p><p>Drusilla envisioned a drowned rat of a girl, by the tone of her voice.  She listened as Jamie and the girl argued in the foyer. The girl’s voice was high pitched and hysterical. She was crying.  </p><p>The woman was irate and inconsolable. Drusilla could hear her feeble human punches bouncing off Jamie's chest. The girl cried and railed at Jamie about her predicament. The human worked herself up to yelling as she ranted about sleeping with Jamie a month ago and now being full-term pregnant.  </p><p>Drusilla listened for the girl’s heartbeat and seconds later registered the baby's heart beating within her. She lay still, confused, and pensive as she heard Jamie lead the girl deeper into the house.</p><p>Jamie coaxed the girl into the great room and shut the door behind him.</p><p>The girl didn’t notice Drusilla, laying on the bed in the corner of the room, but Drusilla noticed the girl. She was blond and drenched from the rain. She was wearing a pink polka dot skirt and an overlarge white knit sweater covering her huge stomach.</p><p>Jamie waited until the girl looked at him and then he held her gaze as he flipped the lock.</p><p>Wide-eyed, the scared girl turned to scan the room. She gasped as she caught sight of Drusilla shackled to the bed covered in dark red blood.</p><p>“What the-?”</p><p>The girl’s eyes bulged, and she grabbed her massive stomach. She turned back towards the door and tried to exit. Jamie danced back and forth with the girl. His long legs shifting him anywhere and everywhere to block her path. The girl started to hyperventilate as she tried unsuccessfully to reach the door.  </p><p>“Let me leave,” she cried, “Right now!”</p><p>Drusilla watched the scene unfold from the bed.</p><p>Jamie grabbed the young blond woman by the arms, “You’re not leaving this house with MY baby, Anya!”</p><p>The blond girl, Anya, stomped on Jamie’s foot. When he reacted by letting her go, she rushed back into the room, towards the fireplace, and then stopped. She started panting as she looked down.  </p><p>A moment later, Anya stepped back and stared shocked at the clear liquid puddled on the floor. Her mouth dropped, and she started crying again as she sank down to her knees.</p><p>“Oh no!” she gasped.</p><p>Anya shrieked and clutched her stomach and Drusilla winced as she imagined her eardrums bleeding.</p><p>Anya shrieked again. Drusilla winced.</p><p>Had Drusilla’s legs not been broken at the time, she would have balked at Jamie’s infidelity and left. Turned the girl for kicks, if only to see what would happen to the fetus. Normally, that's what she would have done. As it happened, Drusilla was unable to move anything but her arms. She moved her wrists, confirming their use, and her chains clinked together.  </p><p>Jamie’s eyes snapped over to Drusilla on the bed, and he crossed the room in quick strides. He undid the chains and threw Drusilla to the floor.  </p><p>Drusilla lay upon the ground in abject agony. She knew better than to cry out. She tried to stay very still.  </p><p>Eventually, she was able to focus on reality again. She watched from her position on the floor as Jamie lead Anya across the room. He sat the human down on the bed and ordered her to lie down.</p><p>Drusilla stared up from her spot on the floor. Her legs twisted underneath herself. Then Jamie was gripping her face hard and unyielding and his own face was close and severe.  </p><p>“You’ll make sure this baby comes out alive, or I’ll kill you,” he said.</p><p>Drusilla froze. She didn’t like the sinister look in Jamie’s eyes. She submitted to Jamie’s gaze and looked at Anya on the bed. She glanced back at Jamie and saw his dark soul shining out of his eyes. She nodded, once.</p><p>Jamie lifted his pet vampire and shoved her toward the bed before he strode from the room.</p><p>Drusilla caught herself with her arms, cringing as her legs shifted. She panted in pain as she tried to focus on the human female laying before her. She could see that the human girl was fearful and Drusilla realized she was in her demon face. She retracted her fangs.</p><p>Drusilla listened as the human’s heart calmed. The vampire then smelled the blood. She dragged herself closer to the woman as the girl’s whole body clenched and she cried out a moan. Drusilla was thankful she didn’t scream.</p><p>The girl seemed to phase out and forget where she was.  </p><p>Drusilla ignored the girls delirious groaning and pushed up her wet skirt. The vampire had seen some disgusting things in her time, but it took her a few moments to get over the image of the huge baby crowning out of the tiny girl's vagina. She’d never seen anything like it in her life.</p><p>Drusilla’s mind pulled back to the present moment as she sensed Anya crying in her sleep. Drusilla gazed into the mirror. Anya was still upon the bed. She made no sounds, save for her repetitive breath and the blood gushing around in her organs. The room was quiet. Drusilla heard only Anya’s heart beating and the ticking of Jamie’s wristwatch. There was no other sign of the human crying, no sound, but Drusilla could taste salt in the air from the human’s tears.</p><p>Drusilla observed Jamie and Anya in the mirror. Jamie pulled and poked at Anya’s bruised and swollen legs and then he turned to look at Drusilla. Drusilla froze as she watched Jamie’s reflection stand and approach her.  </p><p>She waited, wondering what would happen next.</p><p>Jamie slipped his arms around Drusilla’s shoulders and kissed the side of her head as he looked into the mirror and smirked.  </p><p>Drusilla continued to stare at Jamie’s reflection while she clutched her comb in her lap.  </p><p>Jamie stared at his solitary reflection and his eyes filled with mirth. </p><p>Drusilla stared into his reflected eyes waiting for his next words.</p><p>"Have you learned anything more about the Masskara curse yet, my love?"</p><p>Drusilla hummed, "Not yet. I’ll need more books."</p><p>The hold around her neck tightened like a vise, and Drusilla choked and coughed before she stilled. Drusilla saw Jamie’s lips twist into a snarl in the mirror. Then as suddenly as it started, it stopped.  </p><p>Jamie released Drusilla’s neck and stood up. He gripped her shoulders in each hand, tight enough to bruise.</p><p>"I thought you got what you needed from the magic shop the other night?" Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla nodded.  </p><p>“Yes, I took all their pertinent volumes, but there was no mention of the curse,” she said.</p><p>Drusilla’s fingers raised to caress the stinging V of her throat as she kept her eyes on Jamie’s reflection.</p><p>Jamie's glare softened as he looked through the mirror and saw Anya laying on the bed. He released Dru’s shoulders and turned around to walk across the room. He threw himself down into the large overstuffed chair next to the comatose human and reached for a book.</p><p>“Fine. I’ll get more books,” Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla set her comb down on the side table. Her nostrils flared as she registered the new scent on Jamie’s clothes. Drusilla recalled the cloying scent. It was a scent she’d smelled before. It was the distinct smell of none other than Buffy the vampire slayer.</p><p>Drusilla forced herself to control her countenance. Jamie must never see her thoughts. She continued to eye his reflection, as he read from an ancient tome.</p><p>Jamie glanced up and turned to look at the human laying beside him perpetually asleep. He grimaced before he turned back to his book. Then a moment later he looked up at Drusilla.  </p><p>"Leave," he said.</p><p>Drusilla stood on shaky legs and turned to Jamie. She bowed her head once and then exited the room as fast as her wounded gait would allow her. Once she closed the door behind her, she took a moment to rest against the wall.  </p><p>Drusilla moved down the hallway on strained legs and approached the open window. Drawn towards the sound of the crashing ocean waves, she felt the cool ocean breeze swept in and caress her bare arms.   </p><p>She approached the shaded window and set her hands down on the sill. She stared down at her nude nails and sighed. She missed taking care of herself. It wasn’t often in her 200+ years that she didn’t have her nails decorated.</p><p>Drusilla stared out at the ocean. She could see the white caps moving across the sea and she asked the universe to imbue her with knowledge. She took an unneeded breath of salty sea air as the wind whipped up again and caressed her face. A seagull chirped nearby, and Drusilla's eyes twinkled black.</p><p>She shifted her weight and winced as her knee clicked and a bone chip shifted.</p><p>Drusilla closed her eyes and asked the Powers That Be for guidance. She felt within herself, seeking hope. She felt stuck in unending hell with Jamie, and she was uncertain of the choice she made. She implored the Powers That Be to reassure her that things would get easier. She needed confirmation that there was a reason why she was staying in the timeline she was in.</p><p>Time after time, opportunities for escape presented themselves to Drusilla; And, time and time again, she let them pass by.  </p><p>Often, she wondered if she was doing the right thing by staying in her present situation. Was she simply playing a martyr mistakenly, or was this indeed the path that the powers intended to lead her down?</p><p>Drusilla finally relaxed her mind and was able to recall the vision Jamie instigated upon first meeting.  </p><p>Drusilla saw herself in the rain. She saw herself carried by the brunette slayer. Drusilla saw herself lift a hand. She saw the brand on her hand but all she could focus on was hunger. She was hungry, so incredibly hungry. She watched herself drain the brunette slayer of blood in the pounding rain. Then she caught sight of the brown sphere in the Slayer's hand as the vision dissolved.</p><p>Drusilla blinked</p><p>“I want that,” Drusilla whispered, “That’s why I stay.”</p><p>She opened her eyes and licked her lips. She could almost taste the slayer's blood from the vision.</p><p>No longer able to stand on her own weight, Drusilla pushed off from the window. She walked on janky legs down the hallway and entered an abandoned office. The office belonged to Jamie’s late father and, for reasons unknown to her, Jamie disliked setting foot in the room. Because of that, it was often Drusilla’s safest spot to sit and think. Or rather, to await Jamie’s next command.  </p><p>Drusilla moved around the desk and sat in the aged leather chair. She sighed and leaned her head back. She was glad to be off her legs. She sat resting and replaying the vision over and over in her head.</p><p>Drusilla knew if she wanted to leave, now was the time to do so, what with Jamie so focused on the human girl. But the vampire couldn’t bring herself to leave.  </p><p>She knew that if she left Jamie then the timelines would change, and Drusilla couldn’t afford to let that happen. Her main desire was fulfilling her visions. She wanted to save her Childe, and she very much wanted her own slayer. Until both of those two things happened, Drusilla forced herself to stay with Jamie, despite her instincts to run.</p><p>Drusilla was grateful that the girl, Anya, showed up. Had Jamie not slowed his torture of her, Drusilla didn’t know if she could have held onto her sanity. Now that Anya was in residence, unless Drusilla acted out of his control, Jamie ignored her.  </p><p>He’d become wholly obsessed with Anya. If Jamie wasn’t obsessing over breaking Anya’s legs, then he obsessed about the baby that the two of them created.</p><p>Drusilla continued to lie to Jamie. She made him believe that she was under his complete control. She obeyed him by playing nursemaid to Anya and doing anything else he desired. As it was, Drusilla needed only to persevere. She was right where she wanted to be. Her time with the dark-haired Slayer would come. She had faith.</p><p>Drusilla allowed herself a rueful little smile as she thought of Jamie’s torture and conditioning. His methods may have worked on humans or some weaker willed demons. Drusilla, however, knew that it would never work on her. Angelus spent so much time breaking her human, and demonic, will that she had morphed into something anti-fragile. There was nothing within her for Jamie to break. Drusilla could never be his slave. She only had one true master and he was gone.</p><p>Drusilla acted as the doting slave purely for her own benefit. A month later, and still, Jamie didn’t seem to realize. Drusilla let her head loll back on the headrest as she fell back into reminiscence. She recalled the day the human girl showed up.  </p><p>Drusilla was laying half on the bed and half on the floor, where Jamie left her. She bled out a puddle of blood, from the knife wound in her side, as she’d helped Anya push out the baby.  </p><p>After Anya gave birth, she immediately passed into a coma.</p><p>At first, Drusilla didn’t know what to do with the little spawn. It was slimy, blue and crying. She scooped up a blanket and swaddled the infant with it.  </p><p>While Drusilla cradled the baby, she realized that Anya hadn’t seen the screaming blue mass of flesh before she’d fallen asleep.</p><p>Drusilla cooed at the baby and smiled. Her face felt too tight. Her smile felt fake.  </p><p>Drusilla stared into the tiny demon’s silver eyes and it occurred to her that she hadn’t had to cut an umbilical cord. She searched for the baby’s belly button and didn’t see one.  </p><p>Drusilla was sitting pensive, pondering how this demonic spawn happened between two humans when the door opened.  </p><p>Jamie entered, and Drusilla lifted the little blue bundle.  </p><p>Jamie stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes went wide as he stared at his demonic spawn.  </p><p>Drusilla could tell Jamie was about to go off on a tirade and she pulled the small blue baby close to her chest.</p><p>'What the fuck is that!?" Jamie said.</p><p>Jamie saw Anya was unconscious and he strode across the room, ignoring Drusilla and the baby. He smacked Anya across the face. When that did nothing, he yanked on her legs in a rage.  </p><p>Drusilla shifted her focus onto the baby in her arms. The demon spawn blinked owlishly up at her. She raised a finger close to the small blue face and the baby tried to bite her. Drusilla smirked when she saw the tiny blue baby had a mouth full of teeth.  </p><p>Drusilla figured it was for Anya’s benefit that the spawn came out so slimy. The baby’s head looked deformed and misshaped. It was an octagonal ball like a twenty-sided die. It was a demon of some kind, obviously, but Drusilla had no idea which.  </p><p>Jamie turned away from Anya with a growl. He turned to Drusilla and glared at the tiny blue baby. After a moment of glaring at the bundle, Jamie snarled and moved closer. He ripped the child from the vampire's hands and the baby demon started screaming.  </p><p>Jamie glared at the infant. Then he shifted his glare to Drusilla before he glanced at Anya's bloody torn vagina.</p><p>"Clean her up. That's all you're eating today," he said.</p><p>Drusilla held her tongue as she watched Jamie leave the room with his crying demon spawn.  </p><p>Drusilla cleaned up Anya. She also drained the human as much as she dared by biting into the girl’s upper inner thigh. Even with the blood, Drusilla was still starving and unable to move. She laid her head on her arms and wished she could move her legs. She told herself that she would escape is she could run.</p><p>"Or so I thought..." She murmured as she came back to the present.</p><p>Drusilla heard Jamie set down his book and rise from his chair in the other room. She raised her head and stretched out her legs as she closed the lid on recalling Anya’s birth.  She stretched her neck back and forth as she listened to him walk down the hall.</p><p>Bang!</p><p>The office door slammed opened and hit the wall. Jamie stood in the doorway, a light illuminating him from behind. Drusilla blinked up at him.  </p><p>"Follow me," he said.</p><p>Drusilla stood and followed Jamie into the great room.</p><p>"I want you to take care of Anya for the evening. Make sure nothing happens to her. Bathe her, perhaps."</p><p>Drusilla stared at Jamie and nodded once.</p><p>"Good," he said.  </p><p>Drusilla sat down in the overstuffed chair near Anya as Jamie strode from the room. She waited until Jamie was down the hallway before she allowed herself a sneer.</p><p>Gods, how she wished to leave that wretched man.</p><p>Drusilla mentally struggled with herself. Once again, Jamie left her ample opportunity for escape. He was overly confident that she knew better than to leave.  </p><p>Drusilla stared at the closed door of the great room. She listened while Jamie exited the house. She considered escaping. She looked down at her hands and knew she wouldn't.  </p><p>With a sigh, she gripped the arms of the chair to help herself stand. She made her way to the kitchen to collect a bucket of hot water and a rag. She spilled a little as she walked the bucket back to Anya's bedside.</p><p>This was her favourite part of taking care of the human. Feeding time. Bathing Anya was the only time that Drusilla was able to siphon blood from the comatose mortal. Unless, Jamie was present, of course. Thankfully, he didn’t care to be a voyeur.</p><p>Drusilla didn’t mind the chore so much. She preferred to sponge-bathe Anya as often as she was able since to her delicate vampire nose sensed the human smelled worse day by day. Drusilla often lamented to herself that she was both cursed and blessed with a vampire sense of smell.</p><p>She wrung out the cloth and watched the steam rise as she brought the cloth down on the human's tanned skin. Drusilla loved when Anya was clean. The human's natural scent smelled nice like cinnamon.   </p><p>Drusilla thought of the Slayer's scent lingering on Jamie's clothes.  </p><p>It shouldn't, but it bugged her to smell the Slayer all over Jamie. Drusilla couldn't stop the jealousy that flared petulant within her. She felt attached to Jamie. She knew that those feelings were wrong, but nothing made sense anyway.</p><p>Drusilla recalled her previous fights with the blond slayer. A thrill warmed her belly. Slayers were like prizes. Drusilla couldn't wait to see the other one, the dark haired one. The Slayer from her vision.   </p><p>Drusilla rolled Anya's nude body over on the bed and cleaned the human's back. She then rolled the body back. Once Drusilla finished washing down the human, she bit into the girl's upper innermost thigh.  </p><p>As had happened the first time she’d drunk from Anya, Drusilla's mind filled with disbelief at defying Jamie. The blood was intoxicating.  </p><p>Drusilla pulled away. She was panting and perplexed as she grew dizzy. She dropped the rag over the bite wound to catch any stray droplets of blood. Then she fell back on the bed next to the her. She filled with confusion as her body heated up and her mind blanked. She blinked and laid looking up at the ceiling as a vision took her over.</p><p>Drusilla gasped as she saw Jamie cracking a glass orb and flashes of the blond slayer drowning in a murky darkness. Drusilla watched flashing imagery of bloody mutilated bodies pile up and then she saw herself get staked as she tried to defend her sweet William from Jamie. Drusilla felt herself die, separating into a million tiny particles. The last thing she saw was William decapitated.  </p><p>“No!” Drusilla gasped.</p><p>She sat straight up and glanced around at the spinning room. She stood up. She had to do something. She looked around. What could she do?  </p><p>Drusilla thought that she might be best suited to kill Jamie from her current position. Once she found out how, that was. She wasn't sure what Jamie was. He couldn’t be fully human since he'd had a blue baby. She knew she’d have to choose her battle wisely.</p><p>Drusilla squinted and grabbed her forehead as a sharp pain seared behind her eyes. She blinked and looked up as another vision graced her.  </p><p>As her sight cleared, Drusilla gazed up at the ceiling in awe. Silver shining stars swirled and spanned across the expanse of the roof. They were bright and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. All she could see were constellations. Stars that mapped out the future like a giant blueprint.</p><p>Drusilla smiled as she scanned the roof. She wobbled and almost fell over as she spun around taking it all in. She cataloged all the important events predestined to happen. A star in the middle of the Aquila constellation showed Drusilla at her current time point. She saw herself in the timeline.  She gulped as she realized there was still a while to go yet in her mission.  </p><p>Her eyes glazed over in excitement as she saw the stars depict her killing the dark-haired Slayer. She gulped when she saw the knot in the timeline after that, but she figured she’d worry about that later.</p><p>Drusilla recalled her previous vision of William’s death and she quickly scanned the ceiling to figure out a way to change its parameters. She had to find a way to divert her Childe’s death.  </p><p>Drusilla observed the stars on the ceiling and found herself drawn to the star Altair. She squinted in confusion. She tried to decipher what it all meant. It appeared as if her Childe's timeline tangled up and stopped tomorrow night.  </p><p>Drusilla froze as she understood. This was what the powers had shown her when she’d drank the Stelle poison. Her Childe would die in every possible timeline. Tomorrow.</p><p>Drusilla felt her chest cave in. She tried to think. She knew she was getting the vision for a reason. There was a puzzle she needed to figure out. She was in the perfect position to alter the timing of everything, all the important plot points were being shown to her. She just had to think.</p><p>She closed her eyes and sought clarity. She needed more information. She tried to focus, to calm her mind. After a moment, she opened her eyes and scanned the stars to try to find a chink in the armor.</p><p>Then it came to her. She saw the stars of destiny lay out like a road map in front of her. There it was, sitting in Antinous. Drusilla’s face scrunched up in confusion. Antinous was an obsolete constellation. Why was she seeing it now?</p><p>Drusilla saw a flash of her vision. She was standing in the rain, no longer filled with insatiable hunger. The dead Slayer lay at her feet, and a small brown sphere rolled out of the Slayer's hand. The circular stone rolled into the mud and Drusilla blinked and came back to herself.</p><p>She knew what she had to do. Tomorrow was a full moon. Tomorrow was her only chance to cause a detour in William’s destiny. She opened her eyes as grin spread across her mouth. She recognized the stone. She’d dreamed it into reality during her drug induced dream in Montreal.  </p><p>The tiny brown stone was a Chao stone. She’d learned all about it before returning to Sunnydale.</p><p>Drusilla preferred not to work with Chaos and time magic, so she hadn't thought through the possibility before all this. But of course, she would have to alter time to save William. This was why his timeline tangled up tomorrow night. Because she’d done it. She’d saved him with the Chao stone.</p><p>Finally understanding what her gift from the gods meant, Drusilla knew what she had to do. She had to alter time with the tiny brown pebble.  </p><p>She knew it wasn't safe. She had no idea what would happen, yet she figured that anything was better then William dying. He was her legacy.</p><p>Drusilla blinked as reality righted itself around her. She stood glancing around the dim starless room as her mind raced.   </p><p>She moved to sit down on the bed beside Anya and she grabbed the washrag and proceeded to clean the body preoccupied with her thoughts. She was wondering why the dark-haired slayer in her visions held the runic Chao stone.  </p><p>Drusilla listened to the human’s heartbeat resound in the room as she wiped her down. Once finished, she cleaned up the bucket and rag, dressed the girl, and moved down the hall towards Jamie's father's office.</p><p>Drusilla moved to the armoire where she hid her magic supplies. She withdrew a medium sized satchel and rifled around in it until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out a cloth, which she unwound and settled in the palm of her hand. Once opened, she scanned the mound of polished stones. Flicking a few aside, she withdrew the brown one and slipped it into her dress pocket. She then put everything away.  </p><p>Drusilla withdrew the small brown sphere from her pocket and stared at it. She ran her finger over the engraving of the rune and hoped she was doing the right thing. All she wanted was to save her Childe.</p><p>She dropped the stone back in her pocket and cemented her plan. She would sneak away to deliver it to William, once Jamie went to sleep tonight.  </p><p>There would be no other chance. She had to do it before the culmination of tomorrow's celestial event. She'd seen it in the stars. Everything would change tomorrow night.</p><p>Drusilla shut the armoire and returned to Anya’s side. She straightened up the bed and tidied up the great room. Then she picked up Jamie’s discarded book and sat down in his chair. She extended her left knee, winced as it popped, and then returned it to the floor. She flipped open the book and started reading.</p><p>Her mind strayed from the words on the page.  </p><p>She knew she should be researching the Masskarra curse for Jamie; but instead she found herself brooding.  </p><p>When she heard the front door open, Drusilla sighed and came back to herself. While she waited for Jamie to trudge down the hall, she tried to figure out where she’d stopped reading.</p><p>The door flew open and Jamie stomped into the room. He dropped his weight into the chair opposite her.</p><p>"A little light reading?" he sneered.</p><p>Drusilla set down the book in her lap and looked up.</p><p>"Research, yes," she said.</p><p>"You know, I wasn't supposed to be able to even have kids," Jamie said.</p><p>He laid his head back and closed his eyes.  </p><p>Drusilla was grateful that he did, since she was sure her face would reveal how entirely out of left field she thought his last words were.</p><p>"I've had tons of unprotected sex and never- They told me that I was sterile... Then I get drunk after the funerals, have sex one time, and BAM! demon baby!"</p><p>Drusilla stayed quiet. She kept her eyes and attention on the dark-haired man across from her.</p><p>Jamie sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes and up through his long curly hair.</p><p>"I got my fathers will yesterday,” he said, "I guess there's a clause in the family line...  Only the head of the family can create children, and, uh..."</p><p>Jamie swallowed and took a deep breath, “Well, when my father died… I guess I was able to… ya know… procreate.”</p><p>Drusilla asked, "Where's the child now?"</p><p>"Gone," Jamie said.</p><p>"Gone?"</p><p>"Yeah. It grew quick so I let it leave," Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla kept silent.</p><p>Jamie continued, "What Anya and I've created is called a "Ziget". It creates Zombies with a fluid exchange when it kills, and it's big - like 3 feet already.”</p><p>Jamie lifted his eyes to stare at Drusilla.</p><p>"I have no idea what to do about it, either. It's rampaging out there in town right now and I have no clue how to stop it… To be honest, I don’t want to stop it. I mean, it’s my kid. I don’t know what the hell it is, but… I don’t want it dead."  </p><p>Jamie reached over with firm fingers and clenched Drusilla’s thigh. She bit down her wince.</p><p>“Yes?” Drusilla said.</p><p>“Any idea’s, my love?” Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla licked her lips and then looked down at Jamie’s hand on her thigh. She reached out and pried his fingers away one by one as she gave herself time to think.</p><p>“Why not summon a flesh eater to clean up the droppings for now?” She said.</p><p>Jamie walked his fingers up Drusilla’s bodice, over her breast and he stabbed his fingers into her chest.</p><p>“You’re brilliant, pet.” Jamie said.</p><p>He stood and moved away to inspect Anya.</p><p>Drusilla glared down at the pages of her book as she reopened it. She hated when Jamie called her pet. It was something that William used to call her. It felt like a curse coming out of Jamie’s mouth.  </p><p>Drusilla waited for Jamie to fall asleep, as the night wasted away. As soon as she knew he was unconscious, she snuck away to visit her Childe.</p><p>Drusilla showed up outside of William’s crypt with a hypnotized human snack. She’d found the human standing outside the bus depot, sleepy and smoking, and thought it would be a nice gift.</p><p>Spike stood up with a jolt as Drusilla entered the crypt. His irritated scowl melted from his face as he took in his Sire. "Dru-silla,” he said.</p><p>Spike stared at her with reverence.</p><p>Drusilla smiled a genuine smile. She loved how William lengthened her name when he said it. Oh, how she adored her Childe.</p><p>“And, I see you've brought food, luv. I must tell you, I got this chip in me head," Spike said, "Can’t bite. Can’t kill.”</p><p>Drusilla stared at her Childe. She approached him slowly and then waved her hands in the air around his head.</p><p>“I know,” Drusilla murmured, “I dreamed about it when it happened.”</p><p>“So... you’ve come to help me get it out, then?” Spike said.</p><p>Drusilla paused before her sweet Childe and looked him over.</p><p>“No,”</p><p>Spike tilted his head and looked at his Sire. She looked like she bore the weight of the world on her shoulders. Spike was about to ask her what was wrong when Drusilla broke his thought process.</p><p>“You'll have to ask Daddy for help,” she said.</p><p>Spike barked out a laugh and sneered as he turned his body half away from her. He turned back with a grin and shook his head as he stared into Drusilla's dark eyes.</p><p>“You’re barmy, Pet,” he said.</p><p>Drusilla made to speak but knew that there was nothing she could say that would mend the relationship between Angelus and William. Instead, she moved away from William and towards the dazed human. She snapped his neck and watched gravity drag the body to the stone floor. She turned to gaze over her shoulder.</p><p>Spike stepped up to the corpse and lifted the dead weight. He brought it close to his body and bit into the exposed flesh as he began to drink.  </p><p>Drusilla watched Spike guzzle down the blood. She stared at her creation and watched his eyes close in bliss as he drank. Drusilla felt pressure in her chest. She forced her heart to remain numb and her eyes fixated on the scene before her. She wanted to stay here, but she knew she had to go back.  </p><p>She pulled the circular brown stone from her dress pocket. The stone rocked into the center of her palm.</p><p>While Spike ate, Drusilla charged the stone with a non-verbal spell. She used a generic plea to the gods and bit her tongue. She slipped the stone into her mouth to bathe it in her blood. Then she extracted it as she walked over to a flickering candle. Turning the sphere over in the fire Drusilla whispered a few magic words.</p><p>Spike dropped the drained corpse, giddy with blood lust. He spun around and rushed Drusilla, grabbing her around the waist to pull her close. He kissed her with bloody lips, and she could feel his hands wandering under the back of her shirt.  </p><p>Tempted to give in to her wicked boy, it took all her willpower to push him away. Drusilla shoved him away with a smile. </p><p>Spike looked at her with longing from a foot away and Drusilla could see the undying love shining in his eyes.</p><p>“My sweet William,” she said.</p><p>Drusilla caressed his cheek. She wished she could give him what he wanted, but she knew she couldn’t. Instead, she had to give him what he needed: the stone.</p><p>"My Childe…,” she said, “Did you know, it's a magic night tomorrow night?"  </p><p>Spike snorted, "Devil’s night? Pfft. Nothing ever happens on Halloween, Dru,"</p><p>Drusilla lifted the brown stone and offered it to her Childe, "It will, my Spike. I promise. "</p><p>Spike lifted the stone from her hand and sniffed it.</p><p>“What’ll this do?”</p><p>Drusilla smiled.</p><p>“It’s a surprise," she said.</p><p>Spike slipped the stone into his inner breast pocket of his duster and patted it. He was about to speak when Drusilla interrupted him.</p><p>"I must leave, now," Drusilla said, "But the conditions are prime. Be ready for whatever happens.”</p><p>"Sure, luv,” Spike said.</p><p>Drusilla started towards the door.</p><p>"Oi! Why you gotta leave so soon?" Spike said, "What's going on, Dru?"</p><p>He grabbed her wrist.  </p><p>Drusilla stilled and glared at her Childe.  </p><p>Spike unhanded his Sire and took a step back with his hands raised in surrender.</p><p>"I have someplace to be," she said.</p><p>Drusilla grabbed the door handle.</p><p>"I-I love you," Spike choked out, “Please don’t go.”</p><p>Drusilla kept her back to him and then she turned to look over her shoulder. Their eyes met, and she nodded.</p><p>Spike squinted and tilted his head. His lips twisted in resignation as he recognized the determined look in Drusilla’s eyes. He could tell she was hurting and hiding it. Something was up with her. Spike tried to speak, tried to convey his love to her. He knew Dru could take care of herself, but he still wanted to be her dark knight.</p><p>Drusilla backtracked into the crypt a few steps and shushed him with a delicate finger to her pink lips.  </p><p>"Don't die," she said.</p><p>She then turned and wrenched open the heavy metal door to step out into the night air. She heard her Childe sputter, "Oi! What's that supposed ta mean?", and smirked as the door closed behind her.</p><p>Drusilla retraced her steps back to Jamie’s house on the hill. All the while she was thinking, wishing, and hoping that her Childe could avert his inevitable death.  </p><p>She snuck back into Jamie’s house, deep in thought. She entered the abandoned office she frequented and sat down in the chair to nap for a bit.</p><p>“Where were you?” Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla froze and opened her eyes to stare at Jamie standing in the doorway. How long had he been there?</p><p>He stepped into the room wrapped in a grey bathrobe. Drusilla knew she was going to pay for Jamie catching her. She also knew that she would end up paying for both a lie or the truth. She was too tired to think up a lie.</p><p>“I went to see my Childe,” she said.</p><p>“Your child?”  </p><p>Jamie paused in his approach. He had one hand behind his back as he stepped closer.  </p><p>Drusilla watched as Jamie walked further into the room. She shivered and wondered what torture she’d endure next for the sick man.</p><p>“Give me your hands,” Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla blinked and began to open her clasped hands.</p><p>“No, raise them up on the desk,” he said.</p><p>Drusilla raised her clasped hands in front of her and Jamie reached out with one hand to grab them. Holding them down against the table, he withdrew a cutlass from behind his back, and in one strong slice cleaved off Drusilla’s hands.</p><p>Drusilla let out a bloodcurdling scream as blood spurt all over the desk and her white dress.  </p><p>“You CUT OFF MY HANDS?!” she shrieked.  </p><p>She sat staring at her amputated wrists in disbelief. She wondered if this was real. Did this just happen?</p><p>Drusilla looked down at her cleaved off, bloody arms. She looked back at her lifeless hands laying on the table.  </p><p>Drusilla knew that the only way that her hands would grow back was with Sire's blood. She felt a laugh of insanity burble out of her. She sobbed as she laughed.  </p><p>After a moment, the blood loss untamed made her eyes rolled up in her head. Drusilla fainted into a heap of bloody white lace.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Tiny Blue Tyke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Spike stood staring at the closed crypt door wondering what the hell was going on with his Sire. What was Drusilla playing at? </p><p>He stood there, perplexed, until dawn. Then, with his skin itching from the tell tale sign of daylight, he moved to lay down. The vampire's eyes shifted to the dead human lying in a heap on the floor and he groaned.  </p><p>Trapped in his crypt until the sun went down, Spike realized he didn't have anywhere to dispose of the corpse. He thought it best to hide it, in case the Slayer dropped by, and he stuffed it inside the stone casket and closed the lid. He lay down on top of the stone slab and closed his eyes.  </p><p>Smelling faint wafts of Sire’s blood, Spike slipped his hand into his duster pocket. He fingered the sticky brown stone, pulled it out and looked at it. He scowled and propped himself up on his elbow.  </p><p>He glanced around the crypt, letting his eyes stray left and right. He looked around at his home as though he was looking through Drusilla's eyes and grew sullen. How the mighty had fallen. He used to be on top of his game. On top of the food chain and living in opulent mansions. Now, chipped, he was on a diet of pig’s blood and he couldn't hurt a fly. He was pathetic.</p><p>Well, except for Harris. He could hurt Harris for some strange reason. Not that he'd seen the scooby's much lately. Spike spent a lot of time out on his boat. He did a lot of odd jobs dropping things out in the ocean. It seemed, in Sunnydale, everyone had something to hide.</p><p>Spike put the pebble back in his breast pocket, and laid back down with his hands behind his head. </p><p>He reveled in the thought that he could hurt the whelp as he recalled their previous altercation at the bronze. He wondered why he could hurt him now. He figured something must have happened to Harris. Something hellmouthy. He thought this because nothing changed for the vampire. As far as he could tell, his chip was in sound working order.  </p><p>Spike thought back to saving the brat on his boat. He still felt like a twat for the whole ordeal. He couldn't believe he'd saved him. He should have let him drown. Then he could have fished him up and drank him down. He could have dropped the body back into the water and no one would have been the wiser.</p><p>Instead, he'd saved the drowning whelp. He'd even dressed the nude mortal in his clothes he'd found on the beach and deposited the unconscious lump on his front porch.  </p><p>Spike stared at the crypt’s stone ceiling and growled at himself.</p><p>He thought about the bloated body laying below him in the casket. He could feel the man's blood running through his veins. He felt rejuvenated and his mind was clear. Spike knew what he had to do. He was a vampire and Harris was food. The whelp was the only fresh food that the chip would let him eat. He had to eat him.</p><p>Promising himself that he'd eat the whelp the next chance he got, Spike stretched out all his limbs and yawned. He hoped nothing killed the mortal before he did. Harris was a monster magnet.</p><p>Spike lay there contemplating. He wondered if he should eat the whelp straight away and then leave town. Or maybe leave town with the whelp and keep him around as a portable, refilling, blood bag.  </p><p>Spike frowned. He couldn't stand the kid. There was no way he wanted to travel and fight with him for gods knew how long.</p><p>He could cage him. Put a gag in his mouth and only bring the human out at feeding time. Of course, then it would be his feeding time and the humans, since he'd have to feed the whelp too. Ugh, he'd have to keep the human alive... He'd have to deal with the body's functions. Spike shivered and forgot the idea. Then the vampire remembered that he couldn't leave SD before finding the chip removing doctor. That complicated matters.</p><p>While thinking up schemes on how to eat Xander in a way that wouldn't implicate him for his death, Spike fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike awoke at sunset, blinked his eyes open and sat up. He stretched and stood before crossing the room to swing the crypt door open. He walked out into the cool night air and took a look around as he lit up a smoke. A light fog permeated the air. </p><p>He scanned the vicinity with his heightened senses as he sucked in a huge gust of chemicals. He then turned back to the crypt with a scowl. He sucked back half his smoke before he forced himself to reenter. He glared at the stinking corpse housed within the casket.  </p><p>Cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth, Spike pulled back the stone slab and yanked out the dead body by a limb. The corpse stood like a plank of wood, stiff with rigor mortis. He hefted the corpse over his shoulders in a fireman carry before exiting the crypt. He left the door open behind him to air the place out.</p><p>Spike held the corpse's dead weight over his shoulder as he wandered up the street. He carried the body as if it was a lightweight boombox. He wasn't covert. If anyone saw him, it was clear that he was dumping a body. </p><p>The vampire searched for a dumpster as he walked. He found one behind the Sunnydale Motor Inn and dropped off the carcass before continuing through town. An owl hooted and Spike looked up to watch it glide from one tree to another. Then he heard something else. Something demonic. A high-pitched keening permeated the night, interspersed with low growling.</p><p>He glanced around, curious, yet saw nothing. The vampire ran and jumped up a wall. He pulled himself up to the rooftop and began hopping from building to building to seek out the wailing growling sound. He followed it for several blocks before he caught up with it.</p><p>Spike stopped, surprised, on the top of the Sunnydale Cinema building. He blinked. This wasn't what he expected.  </p><p>He smiled as he leaned against the illuminated cinema sign and watched a tiny blue demonic toddler run down the center of Main street. The demon was screaming and had its little arms raised above it's head. It was adorable. Spike was trying to recognize the species, but he'd never seen anything with a dodecahedron head like that before.  </p><p>The demonic tyke was scaring the humans despite its small stature. Spike watched a few humans scream and scatter. He suspected that the kid was more scared of the humans then they were of it.  </p><p>The vampire chuckled under his breath as he watched the tiny blue toddler run out of sight. He lit a smoke and figured he'd hang around for a few minutes to see if the tyke's mother came crashing through town after the wee one.  </p><p>After his smoke, Spike jumped down into an ally. He stepped out onto main street and wondered what to do. The thought of Xander being edible came to him and before he knew it his boots were walking towards the watcher's condo.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Willow scanned the dark streets as she hurried towards her parent's house. She told herself she could think about what happened once she was in the house. Until then, she had to be cautious while out alone at night. She speed-walked across the road and ran across the lawn and up the stairs to the front entrance. She rushed to key the lock and slipped inside. Once the door closed behind her, she relaxed.</p><p>The red head moved through the house to her bedroom and went to her magic stash hidden underneath the bed. She withdrew a jar labeled 'Myrrh' and then stood to rush back out of the room but stopped herself. She sat down on the corner of her bed and traded her soft flats for a pair of tennis shoes as she took a minute to think about what just transpired.  </p><p>She'd seen Oz. This was the first time she'd seen Oz since Tara and her went to LA to visit him at the start of summer.</p><p>Willow didn't know how she was feeling as her mind replayed the latest interaction.</p><p>She'd been with her friends before she'd rushed home. They'd all been sitting around Giles condo: Giles, Buffy, Xander and her. Giles brought them all together to talk to them about the sudden influx of zombies in town when a knock at the door interrupted them. Giles got up to admit Oz.  </p><p>Willow's thoughts were chaos as she stared at her ex. Oz showing up was not expected. He looked good, pale skin and auburn hair. Willow hadn't known what to say so she kept silent and fidgeted with her hands while the others asked questions.</p><p>Oz was friendly during conversation. He tried asking Buffy how Riley was doing during pleasantries. Buffy silenced the room when she told everyone that Riley left town.</p><p>The blond looked around and shrugged, "Yep. We broke up."  </p><p>"What? Why didn’t I know that?" Willows said, "I'm sorry, Buffy!" </p><p>Buffy waved her off, "It was my choice. He gave me an ultimatum."</p><p>Oz turned a smile on Xander.</p><p>Xander returned a tight smile, "Same here. Anya left too."</p><p>Oz raised his eyebrows in surprise and then turned to Willow.</p><p>Willow bit her lip, "Um… Tara's still…here."</p><p>Oz nodded and turned back to Buffy, "I, uh, actually came by because I found a dead body. Parts, really."</p><p>Willow zoned out of the conversation as Oz recounted what he'd found. She wondered when she'd turned into such a bad friend. How had she not known that both her best friends were single?  </p><p>Willow recalled an odd phone call she’d received from Xander last month. He’d called her saying he needed a friend to talk to. They'd spent over an hour on the phone talking about random things they were doing. Xander gave her a play by play commentary of himself cooking Mr. Noodles and Willow told him about the spells she was working on. They discussed him losing his job at the construction site and getting his new job at the movie theater. She remembered telling him he was multitasking too many jobs and that was why they kept falling through. She’d listened to him talk about his job at the double meat palace and how much more he liked it there then the theater.</p><p>Willow remembered how she’d played his personal cheerleader. She’d told him how proud she was of him. She’d thought she was being a good friend at the time. They'd talked about their feelings and Willow had felt so close to Xander that day.  </p><p>Now, though, she knew Xander called that day to tell her about Anya. And instead, he’d talked about everything except that. Xander hadn't told her about Anya until tonight. Why hadn't he told her?</p><p>Willow felt awful for not noticing sooner that Anya hadn't been around. She reprimanded herself for not noticing. She'd been so focused on Tara and Oz and magic and planning next semester’s course load. She wondered what else she'd missed while being so self absorbed.</p><p>When Willow zoned back into the conversation around her, Oz was leaving.</p><p>"Well, I'll see you guys around, I've got to go sign the lease to my new place," he said.</p><p>"Oh! Please tell me you're moving back!" Xander said, "Nothing against the ladies, of course, but guy time is severely lacking here." </p><p>Oz chuckled, "Oh, no. Did they do your makeup again?"</p><p>Xander put his head in his hands as Oz stepped out the door with a chuckle.</p><p>"I'd like to propose a change of topics," Giles said as the door closed.</p><p>Everyone focused on him.  </p><p>"I have some news... I've been planning to buy the magic shop on Maple Court."  </p><p>Willow squealed with her mouth closed and Giles raised his hand.</p><p>"Except, that the sale may not go through now,” he said, “Mr. Bogarty, the owner, was found dead."</p><p>"Mr. Bogarty?!" Willow said.</p><p>Giles nodded solemnly.</p><p>Buffy and Xander continued to talk with Giles, while Willow moved across the room to open up her laptop. </p><p>"What's going on Giles?" Buffy said, "Another magic shop?"</p><p>Giles nodded, "Yes, my sentiments, exactly. Something's brewing Buffy."</p><p>"Do you know how he died?" Buffy asked.</p><p>Willow spoke up, as she read aloud from the dossier she'd hacked into in the police database. "The police report says the cause of death was a broken neck. There's also mention that he was drained of blood and, um, his, uh... someone lacerated and removed his tongue."</p><p>Willow closed the browser; she didn’t want to see the crime scene photos.</p><p>"We'll split up tonight," Buffy said, "Giles, you and Willow investigate the magic shop murder. Xander, you and I will go look for the dead body Oz found. We’ll help research when we get back."</p><p>The gang agreed and split up.  </p><p>Buffy and Xander were in a deep debate about bringing heavy axes patrolling as they loaded themselves up with weapons. Meanwhile Willow and Giles agreed on a scrying spell to figure out who killed Mr. Bogarty.  </p><p>Giles left the condo to retrieve an item from the magic shop crime scene that they could scry with. Willow, with nothing to do, meandered over to Giles's herb cupboard to start setting up the magic circle. She froze.</p><p>"Darn!" Willow said</p><p>"What's up?" Buffy said.</p><p>"Giles is out of Myrrh!” she said, “It's the only required spell ingredient."</p><p>Willow knew she had some at home and hoped she could go get it and get back to the condo before Giles got home.</p><p>"Good luck out there, guys!" Willow said as she rushed towards the door, "I'll be right back. I need some myrrh!"</p><p>Willow glanced around her childhood bedroom and stood up. She looked down at the myrrh in her hand and decided to head back to the condo. She didn't want to worry Giles when he didn't find her there when he returned. Willow adjusted her protection charm choker and headed back out into the night with her spell ingredients.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Outside Giles' place, Spike was about to bang on the watcher's door when someone yanked it opened from the other side. The vampire winced as the little red-headed witch screamed in his face. She laughed, hand clutching her chest, and chuckled.</p><p>"Jeez. Sorry, Spike. I wasn't expecting you there," Willow said.</p><p>Spike stared at the red headed witch and his eyes flicked over her to take in the Slayer and her white knight arming up for battle.  </p><p>"Patrolling?" he said.</p><p>Willow shook her head and pointed back at her friends.</p><p>“They are,” she said. “On that note, please excuse me."  </p><p>Willow edged passed Spike, leaving the door open, and ran off into the night.  </p><p>Spike stepped up to the doorway and toed the threshold. He wasn’t positive, but he suspected that the watcher did an uninvite spell on him. Rupert wasn't pleased with Spike, after learning he'd been working for Adam.</p><p>Spike fingered the barrier and ground his teeth. Bloody wanker locked him out again.</p><p>"Right,” Spike said, “I'm coming. Could use a brawl."  </p><p>He stared at the occupants within as they turned to look at him.</p><p>Buffy gave Xander a look and then turned to walk towards Spike. She handed him an axe as she walked past him.  </p><p>"It's a free world," she said.</p><p>Spike spun the long-handled axe in his palm and hefted it over his shoulder as he turned to Xander. He watched the human exit and shut the door behind him.  </p><p>Xander turned to look at him, "Whatcha looking at fangless?"</p><p>Spike spun the large axe that rested against his shoulder. He could lob the lad’s head clean off his neck, right this second. The vampire grinned like the Cheshire cat.</p><p>"Nothing," he said, “Absolutely nothing.”</p><p>Spike stared at Harris until the human huffed and walked away. The whelp ran to catch up with Buffy and Spike paused to light a smoke. He grinned as he followed along behind the white hats. He couldn't get it out of his head that he could eat Harris.</p><p>As he followed behind the two of them, Spike thought about the dynamics between Harris and him now. Everything felt different.  </p><p>Normally, the whelp’s taunts sorta bothered him under the surface. Not that he’d ever let that show. It just so happened that the kid was always reminding him of his bad luck. Not only that, but for some reason the whelp was able to say just the thing that cut Spike the most... But, now, knowing that he could snap the whelp's neck, everything was different. Spike wanted to boast.  </p><p>No. No, he had to wait. He wanted it to be a surprise for the human. It would be safer that way too. Spike wasn't de-chipped, he had to protect his hide.</p><p>Spike burned his fingertips on his smoke butt and flicked it away. He focused on the Slayer and Harris walking up ahead of him. He smelled blood. Human blood.</p><p>"We seem like we're heading somewhere," Spike said.</p><p>"We are," Xander said.  </p><p>Spike rolled his eyes, "What are we looking for?"</p><p>"Oz said he stumbled upon some human remains," Buffy said.</p><p>"Who's Oz?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander and Buffy stopped walking.</p><p>"Shit" Xander breathed out</p><p>"Jeez," Buffy said.</p><p>Spike stopped beside them and they all looked down at the bloody mound of meat, clothing and blood.</p><p>"Mmm, nummy zombie scraps," he said.</p><p>Xander looked at Spike in disgust.</p><p>"You think it's zombies?" Buffy asked.</p><p>Spike shrugged and looked around through the trees.</p><p>Buffy gulped, "Okay, well, let's do a quick sweep, and then research because zombies suck."</p><p>"Agreed," Xander said nodding, "Hate zombies. Never met a zombie I liked."</p><p>"I bet they like you, though," Spike said with a smirk.</p><p>Xander glared at him.</p><p>"Come on," Buffy said as she tugged on Xander's sleeve.</p><p>Spike heard something, then. A grumbling guttural growl and the sound of dragging limbs.</p><p>"Oi. Zombies. Two o'clock."</p><p>Buffy pulled the shoulder strap over her head and removed her crossbow. She traded weapons with Xander, taking his axe.</p><p>"Keep back," she said, "Let me slice and dice."  </p><p>Three zombies ambled out of the bushes. Buffy rushed forwards and the Slayer's dance commenced.  </p><p>Buffy cleaved in the zombie’s heads with her axe like she was playing golf. Spike and Xander stood a little off to the side watching her gymnast acrobatics.</p><p>Afterwards, the three of them scanned the area, and couldn't find anything else nefarious lurking in the night.  </p><p>Spike followed along to go research at Giles’s place. He figured this was his best chance to get a new invite into the house. The vampire planned out a quick scheme as they walked into the courtyard. He was going to maneuvered his way between the kiddies as they made their way inside. He'd bounce off the barrier and bash into the slayer before railing at Rupert for being a prat.</p><p>At the last second, Xander hung back and Buffy shifted to the forefront to enter first. Spike walked after her and slammed into the barrier. He bounced backwards and realized his plan was a bust when Xander slammed into his back like a freight train. The mortal was soon heading for the pavement and Spike knew that no one could know that the chip didn't work. He spun preternaturally fast and caught the whelp before the human could land on the ground. </p><p>Xander lay dumb with wide-eyes in a horizontal plank. He stared up Spike and then glanced from side to side to see himself hovering a foot up in the air. He looked back up into Spike's face as he blinked, "What the-"</p><p>Spike pulled the human to standing, righted the whelp’s shirt and then spun on his heel to glare at the watcher. He stuck out a finger.</p><p>"What are you playing at watcher? Don't tell a bloke when he's not invited?"</p><p>Xander stood blinking at Spike in shock. He'd expected to hit the ground. Why the hell had Spike grabbed him? It wasn’t like he'd never landed on his ass before. Confused, Xander crept around Spike and Giles to entered the condo.</p><p>The ex-watcher stared at Spike as he gripped the door.</p><p>"You're not invited." Giles said as he closed the door in Spike's face.  </p><p>Spike pursed his lips as he glared at the black metal accents on the door and vibrated with anger, "Prat!"</p><p>The vampire stomped off, muttering about old buggers mucking with his plans, and wandered towards the industrial district. He was still itching for a fight.</p><p>He stopped walking and stood in the middle of the street, sniffing. He could smell something and he strained to sense it.  </p><p>Spike let his demon come to the fore and he felt his face shift and change. He then began to walk towards the smell. It smelled like human food, like a barbecue of roasting meat. Spike could smell an undercurrent of something else, though.  </p><p>He heard nothing as he grew closer and closer to the source of the smell. Spike entered a warehouse, bypassing a broken lock and chain. He wandered into the dark interior.</p><p>Spike stopped in the center of the massive dark factory room. He listened; nothing was stirring. He could hear a lone heartbeat, though, and he closed his eyes and focused. Spike breathed in, following his nose, and turned before opening his eyes. He took a few steps forward and saw something. He approached for a better look.</p><p>Lying curled up in the fetal position was a 4-foot blue baby demon. The same sort of baby demon that Spike saw running thru town earlier. The tyke was sleeping curled up in a ball of rags and burnt bloody body parts. Spike stepped closer to the demon trying to get a better look at the charred medley of limbs.</p><p>When the demon's little eyes opened, Spike took a step back.</p><p>"Woah," he said.</p><p>Spike had never seen anything like it. The little blue demon's eyes were tiny triangles of silver like aluminum foil. There was no pupil.  </p><p>Spike and the tiny blue demon stared at one another. Neither moved.</p><p>Spike took a slow step backwards. He kept his eyes locked with the demon as he retreated. He wanted nothing to do with this little demon spawn. He knew a lot about demonology and he'd never seen anything like this. He blinked out of the staring contest as he backed out of sight from the tiny demon.  </p><p>Spike continued his retreat from the factory. There was something familiar in the body parts the tyke was sleeping in. They looked like the zombie droppings from earlier. Spike figured he'd mention it to the Slayer later. He finished backing out of the warehouse and closed the door.</p><p>He cracked his neck as he walked back to his crypt. He wondered what type of demon that kid was.  </p><p>Spike saw a lanky teenage boy walking down the sidewalk and he grinned. The teen was bobbing his head to headphones plugged into his Walkman that clipped to his belt. He was oblivious. Spike jumped up onto a building and prowled around the teen, waiting for the perfect moment.  </p><p>When the teen approached the darkness, the vampire lined up his shot. He jumped down in front of the kid, knocked off his headphones, and grabbed the kid's shirt. Spike growled in his face, with a face full of fangs, "Give me your dosh!"</p><p>The air filled with the acrid scent of urine and Spike growled as he shoved the kid away. The teen pulled out his wallet and tossed it to the vampire. Spike snatched it from the air, snagged the cash and then tossed the plastic wallet back at the kid. The kid grabbed for his empty wallet and then ran away in terror.  </p><p>Spike chuckled as he counted the money and put it in his pocket. He jumped up onto the closest rooftop, decided he wanted a drink, and headed towards the bronze jumping rooftop to rooftop.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>The next evening Spike lay glaring at the ceiling of his crypt as he listened to the Slayer and her little groupies prance through his graveyard. Spike rubbed his eyes and grumbled as he sat up. He stretched and yawned and then reached into his duster pocket for a smoke. He fiddled with the pebble Dru gave him as he lit his cigarette. He didn't know what Drusilla was going on about. Nothing happened to him last night. It was an average night on the mouth of hell.</p><p>Spike stood up and walked outside to catch up with the white hats.  He was groggy and grumpy because he hadn't got a wink of sleep throughout the day. Airplanes buzzed over the town for an airshow. And if that wasn't bad enough, the airshow brought out the denizens of Sunnydale to congregate nearby, including his cemetery. Didn't humans have reverence for the dead anymore?  </p><p>Spike laid awake angry for hours. The sound from the planes was a persistent racket that reverberated through him. When the planes flew overhead Spike had to cover his ears in discomfort. When it finally ended, he’d passed out in relief.  </p><p>Then, he'd been woken up when the slayer and her chump friends walking around his crypt.  </p><p>Spike grumbled under his breath as he saw the slayer’s shock of blond hair in the distance. To the left of her were the witch and Harris. Spike listened as the group chatted about having a great picnic during the airshow earlier. Spike registered a tendril of anger blossom in his chest as he approached.</p><p>He opened his mouth to make a dig at the kids when six zombies ran out of a nearby mausoleum and attacked.  </p><p>Spike fought, dodged and weaved. He punched and kicked and ripped a zombie's head in half with his bare hands before grinning and jumping in the air to land on the next closest zombie. He gripped its head and slammed it into a gravestone. In his peripheral vision, he saw Harris scurry away and Spike realized he'd accidentally saved the whelp again. "Bloody hell!"</p><p>Spike climbed fully on top of the zombie he was fighting and gripped its slavering head. He slammed the zombie’s skull into the marble gravestone over and over. The stone slab cracked, along with the zombie’s head, and Spike stood up wiping blood and muck off his hands.</p><p>The vampire heaved in unneeded breath as he calmed himself down and watched the Slayer finish off the last zombie. The thrill from the violence seeped out of him and Spike counted the dead. He saw that he'd taken out two zombies while the slayer killed four. He justified his low score with the fact that the Slayer had an axe, which made it much easier to crush skulls.</p><p>"Thanks," Harris said as he came and stood by him.</p><p>Spike blinked, taken aback, and looked away, “Yeah, well… should have let you die. Got too excited about the killing, is all."</p><p>Harris scowled.</p><p>Spike smirked as the whelp glared at him. The vampire turned to look at the slayer and witch as they approached. Spike and Xander fell into step with the girls.</p><p>"I saw another pile of those body parts in a factory last night," Spike said.</p><p>Buffy turned to look at Spike.</p><p>"Any zombies?" She said.</p><p>Spike shook his head.</p><p>"Nah, summat else... A baby demon. A tiny blue tyke. It's got these silver eyes…"</p><p>Spike trailed off as he remembered the kid's triangle tinfoil eyes. He saw that Buffy and her friends had stopped walking. He turned back and saw them all staring at him.</p><p>"What? It's got freaky eyes.” Spike said. “Never seen anything like it."  </p><p>"Did you kill it?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike looked affronted, "Harris, are you really advocating baby killing? Where's your heart?"</p><p>"Could you draw it?" Buffy said.</p><p>Spike snorted, "M'not Peaches."</p><p>"I'll take that to mean you're not an artist," Buffy said.</p><p>Buffy glanced around for zombies. The group was standing under the ornate metal sign at the cemetery entrance.</p><p>"I could draw it," Xander put in, "If Spike described it."</p><p>Spike looked at the human and lifted an eyebrow, "Sure, if it looked like a cartoon character."</p><p>Buffy sighed and shot Spike a look, "Knock it off."</p><p>"What?" Spike asked trying to appear the picture of innocence.</p><p>"Why don't you take off?" Buffy said.</p><p>Spike smirked at the slayer. He didn't know what her problem was, but he was happy to see her as irritated as he had been all day with no sleep.</p><p>"Sure Slayer," Spike said.</p><p>He turned and reentered the cemetery. As he walked away, he listened to the brats discussing where to patrol next.</p><p>Spike thought about saving the whelp in the fight, about how the human had looked at him and thanked him, and an impulse flooded him. He spun around and shouted, "Oi, Harris!"</p><p>The brunet turned and looked at him "What?"</p><p>"I was gonna ask ya, where's your demon bird? She left you for a better man yet?"  </p><p>His vision zeroed in on the human's reaction. Xander looked hurt. Spike had guessed correct then. The vampire continued.</p><p>"I guess you were just too useless, huh?"</p><p>Spike watched the boy's face twist up into a snarl and couldn't stop himself from grinning.</p><p>"You mind if I have a go at her, then?" he said.</p><p>"Fuck off!" Xander yelled.</p><p>Spike grinned as he heard emotions tinge the whelp’s voice.  </p><p>Xander made a move to rushed at the vampire, but Buffy held him back.  </p><p>“He’s not worth it,” she told Xander.</p><p>Buffy glared at the vampire, "You're a dick, Spike!"</p><p>"Just leave already!" said Willow</p><p>Spike smirked at the glaring witch and turned around. He lit a smoke as he sauntered back to his crypt.        </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Spike's Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Spike walked around the corner and froze. He looked around, squinting. Why did everything feel different? The air smelled different. The noises on the air were different. He stood, listening and squinting, confused. He took a deep breath and confirmed that something wasn't right. Harris had been saying something to the slayer when he cut off mid-sentence.  </p><p>Spike turned and walked back around the corner. He looked back at the cemetery gates and saw only sycamore trees. The Slayer and her groupies were gone. He tried to find them, scoured the area with vampiric speed, but found himself completely alone. Even, the bloody mound of corpses had vanished.</p><p>Confounded, Spike returned to his crypt wondering why he felt so uneasy.</p><p>"Must be a Hellmouth anomaly or summat," he muttered.</p><p>He pushed open his crypt door and stood still in the doorway as he looked around, "Bleeding hell…"</p><p>Someone had ransacked his mausoleum. The stone casket was in shambles on the floor. The lone ornamental gargoyle decoration in the rear of the crypt smashed asunder. Spike stared.  </p><p>“Bollocks!”</p><p>He clenched his teeth as he took a step down into his crypt and stared down at the broken gargoyle. He cursed. Who could know about his cache? Spike kicked out at the rubble in anger. He seethed and spun around. He exited the crypt and started walking with no destination in mind.  </p><p>As he headed through the Shady Hill Cemetery gates, he decided to scope out a new crypt before sunup. He sniffed the air again, what was that smell? It wasn’t good or bad. Simply floral, pungent and overwhelmingly sweet.</p><p>Spike lit a smoke as he walked. He scanned the environment. It was quiet. Too quiet. The silence unnerved him as he walked towards Restfield cemetery. He figured he’d kill whatever was in the Von Haupman crypt and take it over. He was almost there when he caught the scent of the Slayer’s whipping boy, Harris.  </p><p>Spike looked around frowning. Why only the one Scoobie? Where was he?</p><p>Spike continued walking down Stewart street. He passed the Restfield cemetery entrance and followed the scent of the Slayer's donut boy as his scent grew stronger and stronger.  </p><p>Spike stopped a block before Stewart’s Park and stood on the sidewalk where the Whelp's smell was amplified. He looked up at the three large houses facing the street. He could tell that Harris was in the middle house. The human's scent was like a giant billboard.  </p><p>Spike glanced around. He wondered why all the demons in town weren't seeking out the human's potent scent. The kid was truly a monster magnet.</p><p>Spike spied a vampire watching him from within the middle yard. He blinked. The vampire was obviously sentry, shrouded in dark foliage. The vampire stood watching Spike with a blank expression. Spike stared at the vampire, wondering what to do. Should he enter the property and figure out what was going on? He continued to stare at the vampire and then the vampire nodded imperceptibly towards him. Spike held still.</p><p>The vampire looked away and Spike followed his gaze. He saw another vampire within a booth press a button. The large wrought iron gate between Spike and the yard began to slide to one side. Spike stood watching the gate move aside wondering why the vampires were letting him in.</p><p>By the time the gate fully opened, Spike decided to enter. If only to find out what Harris was doing in a house guarded by vampires. If anyone was eating Harris, it was him. The whelp was his only available meal and he wasn't going to let some chump vampire snake him.</p><p>Spike looked up at the house as he stepped onto the property. He kept his eyes on the vampires with his peripheral vision. No one moved on him.  </p><p>Spike didn't know what was going on, but he felt like he was in another world. He walked further up the driveway and scanned the house and yard. He decided to circle the house to get a lay of the land. He could see vampires hidden all over the place in the foliage. No one moved on him.  </p><p>Spike followed the decorated path around the house as he scanned the grounds. The yard was landscaped and ornamental. Whoever owned this house had a lot of money.</p><p>He stopped around the back of the house and stared up at an open second story window. Candlelight flickered against the ceiling as Spike contemplated the open window.  </p><p>He knew, without a doubt, that Harris was in the room above him. The smell of the human overpowered his senses. What was Harris doing in a house with vampire sentry? What did he get himself into this time?  </p><p>Knowing he’d find no answers by standing still, he jumped up into the air to grip the windowsill. He hung from it as he peered in the window. His eyes widened in shock and he let himself drop back to the ground.</p><p>“Fuck me” he said.</p><p>Spike landed in a crouch. He looked up at the window in confusion. What the hell was Harris doing naked in this house?  </p><p>Spike wondered what the Hellmouth was playing at.</p><p>Curious to figure out what was going on, he shook his head to clear it and then jumped back up. He gripped the windowsill and scanned the room.</p><p>The whelp was nude, laying on his stomach. His bum bared to the cool night air. A white sheet draped over the middle of his body haphazardly. He lay on a large bed of puffy white linens surrounded by numerous pillows.  </p><p>Spike scanned the nude human's form as he knocked on the window frame.</p><p>The mortal rolled over and his fist came up to rub the sleep from his eyes. He blinked his brown eyes open and turned towards the window. When he saw Spike, his lips curved into a smile. The human stared at the vampire in confused adoration.  </p><p>Spike gulped. This wasn’t Harris, he thought.  </p><p>The human crawled from the bed and stood. Spike’s eye’s widened as he saw Harris uncaring of his nudity. The vampire’s eyes drew down to the his dangling phallus and then his eyes shot back up to the human’s face. Spike swallowed deeply and scanned the brunet’s dark eyes with pursed lips.</p><p>"Master?" Xander said.  </p><p>Spike blinked. Nope. This was definitely not the mortal he knew. He stared at the human, blinking repeatedly.</p><p>"You alright?" Spike said.</p><p>Harris nodded.</p><p>"Always, my Master," he said.  </p><p>The serene smile never left the human's face.</p><p>Spike clenched his teeth and his jaw clicked and he strained to not reveal his unease. This wasn’t the Harris he knew. Not by a long shot.</p><p>Drusilla's ominous warning flashed through Spike’s mind and he realized that this was probably what she warned him about. Spike had to recognize that he wasn't in the original Sunnydale anymore. The smell of the air confirmed it. He’d never smelled the air smell so sweet before tonight.</p><p>Confounded and intrigued by the situation, Spike heaved himself up on the window ledge.  </p><p>"Shove over,” he said, “I'm coming in."  </p><p>The human stepped back to let Spike crawl through the window. Then, once the vampire was inside, Harris stepped closer to him leaving less then a foot between them.</p><p>The brunette's stare unnerved Spike. As did his proximity. The vampire looked around the room and then turned back to the human. He could only hear the one heartbeat in the entire house.  </p><p>"Why are you at my window, Master?" Harris said.</p><p>"Why are you nude?" Spike said.</p><p>Harris's eyes widened in surprise and he looked down at himself. He looked back up into Spike's eyes with a confused smile.</p><p>"Er, you prefer me this way?" Harris said.</p><p>Spike rubbed his eyes as he sighed. He opened his eyes again to stare at the human's nude form.  </p><p>"Look, Harris,” Spike said, “I don't belong here, right? Something's happened..."</p><p>Harris cocked his head to the side.</p><p>"My name’s Xander, Master,"</p><p>Spike squinted at the human and then shook his head. Fighting over the whelp’s name wasn’t important. What was important was getting home to his own Sunnydale.</p><p>"Look," Spike said, "Xander-"</p><p>The human grinned, lifted his arms, and stepped forwards. Spike made to step back as Harris cramped his personal space, but his boot hit the wall behind him and he nearly fell out the window.</p><p>Harris wrapped his arms around Spike's neck and pressed his body up against him. Spike stood as still as a statue as Harris pressed his warm lips against his own.  </p><p>Spike blinked, shocked, and grabbed Xander's bare biceps to push him away. He held the human at arm's length as he looked into the his eyes. Spike sucked in a breath he didn't need, trying to calm himself down. The human's warmth was jarring. He felt like his hands were on fire. He opened his mouth to say something but froze.  </p><p>He stared at the claim mark on the whelp’s throat and recognized it as his own. Spike sucked his lips into his mouth, confused. In what world would he choose Xander bleeding Harris for a mate?</p><p>Spike looked up into Xander’s eyes and watched as a look of realization seeped into them. He saw the exact moment that Harris realized he was staring at a stranger.  </p><p>“Ah,” Spike said, "Now you're getting it.”</p><p>His relief was short-lived when a second later he found his arms once again full of warm naked human.  </p><p>Spike gulped. It was obvious he wasn't in Sunnydale anymore. This wasn't the same Xander Harris that he knew. The Harris he knew wouldn’t be coming in for a kiss.</p><p>Spike realized in the nick of time, just before he pushed the human away again, that he could use this amorous mortal to his advantage if he played along. He let the kissing play out. He let his hands drop down to the human's naked hips, unsure what to do with them, and he didn't fight the kiss when the human's lips pressed against his own. Instead, Spike played along.</p><p>When Xander eventually pulled back for breath, Spike pulled back and stared at the mortal. He couldn't remember the last time he'd touched a human for this long. He admitted to himself that it felt nice having the warm blood bag pressed up against him. He was also surprised at what an excellent kisser the whelp was.</p><p>As the human came forward for another kiss, Spike met him halfway. He closed his eyes and reciprocated the kiss. Spike told himself that when in Rome do as the Romans do. Harris, being a male, wasn’t his first choice for a roll in the hay, but, hey, dawn was sure to come. Spike justified his actions with the fact that he needed a place to stay once the sun came up.</p><p>Spike pulled back to let the human gasp in breath and he stared into his chocolate brown eyes when they opened. Spike licked his lips and then before he knew what he was doing he was leaning forward to initiate another kiss. Xander met him halfway.  </p><p>The only sounds in the house were coming from Xander. The smacking of his lips against Spike’s. The sucking sounds, and the cute little moans that crawled out of him when Spike sucked and nibbled on his lips.</p><p>Kissing the Slayer's whipping boy in an alternate reality wasn't a terrible hardship. Not at all like Spike would have thought. Then again, he’d done a lot worse for a safe day of sleep in the past. This was nothing.</p><p>Spike let his hands slide down the warm skin as he pulled the human closer. He stole his breath with kiss after kiss as his hands slipped down to caress the top of Xander’s nude bum cheeks. While their tongues tangled, Spike found himself enjoying the human's touch. He stroked up and down the human's warm back and sides with his palms as they continued kissing.  </p><p>Xander tugged the vampire further into the room and Spike's intimidate reaction was to follow the warm human but he stopped himself. He remembered that the sun would eventually rise. He licked his lips and accepted that he might be stuck for the day with the Harris doppelganger. He removed the warm hands from his leather lapels and turned back towards the window to yank the dark curtains shut.  </p><p>When he turned back to the human. Xander's hands crept around Spike's body to pull him close again.  </p><p>A single three wick candle flickered on the bedside table, illuminating them both as Spike stared at the whelp's throat. He lifted his hand to thumb over the mark. His mark. He couldn’t believe that he’d claimed him, but the proof was right there.</p><p>Spike stared at Harris as the mortal shifted and circled around him. He allowed Harris to take off his leather duster and felt it slide down his back. It was at that moment that Spike realized fully that he was going to be fucking the Harris imposter. Unusual for him, Spike started to grow anxious.</p><p>"Harris," Spike said.</p><p>"Xander, Master," Harris interrupted, "I prefer you call me by my name."</p><p>Spike clenched his teeth, "Right, Xander..."</p><p>Spike stopped taking as the human moved in to kiss his neck. His thought process stalled as the mortal pressed his blunt teeth into his skin. Spike turned and wrapped his arms around the human as he instigated another warm kiss.  </p><p>Xander reciprocated and then began to push the vampire backwards. He ravaged Spike's mouth while fumbling with the vampires belt buckle.  </p><p>Spike allowed himself to be pushed backwards until the back of his legs hit the bed frame. Xander pulled away with one last nip at Spike's lower lip causing the vampire to lick his lips to see if they were bloody. They weren’t. A smirk came to his face unbidden.  </p><p>The human was staring at him and his whole face beamed like a ray of happiness. Spike felt awash with it. He liked that look on the mortal.</p><p>Xander lifted Spike’s shirt out of his waistband and hiked it up over his chest. Spike lifted his arms instinctively as it came over his head. The mortal pushed him and Spike let himself fall back onto the bed.</p><p>He stared up at Xander to see the whelp eyeing him with carnal ardor. Spike lifted himself up onto his elbows as he watched the mortal. He couldn't believing this was actually happening. His mind had trouble processing that he was going to have sex with the slayer’s white knight. He watched as Xander undid the laces of his boots. Once removed, he dropped the boots to the floor before pulling off the vampire’s socks.</p><p>Spike watched with clenched teeth as Xander knelt forward and slid his hands up his jean clad inner thighs. Spike caught the human’s gaze and the two stared into each others eyes as Xander reached out and pulled on the top button of his jeans.  </p><p>Spike watched Xander pull down his zipper and then he lifted his hips as the human tugged the jeans from him. His eyes glued to the mortal, he watched in suspense as Xander licked his pink lips and then leaned forward to suck him down.</p><p>The vampire threw his head back and groaned, “Gods!”</p><p>Spike couldn’t believe this was happening. This could not be happening! He dropped his weight back onto the bed and brought his forearm up to cover his eyes as he came to terms with what was happening.</p><p>Never had he experienced anything like this before. Sure, he’d partook in some homosexual foreplay long ago, but only between vampires and even then same sex play was primarily focused on domination rather then pleasure. His experiences had never been anything like this.</p><p>Spike sucked in a deep breath as he recalled a small fragment of his human desires. How he’d once longed to touch a man in repose. He’d been so curious, while alive; But all that ceased once Sired.  </p><p>Spike blinked against the arm over his eyes. That was so long ago. He could barely remember who that man used to be. His mortal predilections long forgotten in the passage of time.</p><p>Spike lowered his arm to his side as Xander shifted position and his method of suction. The vampire moaned as he shifted himself back up onto his elbows to watch what was being done to him.  </p><p>The room was silent save for the wet slurping sounds as Xander eagerly devoured Spike’s shaft. He licked, sucked and slurped as if sucking on a lollipop and Spike stared, visually and physically charmed. The vampire heaved in breath after breath that he didn't need, while the human brought him closer and closer to orgasm.</p><p>Spike knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold it back much longer. The sensation of Xander’s warm, wet, enthusiastic mouth was blowing his mind. He lamented not having had sex in a while. He wished he could hold back the tide of his orgasm and prolong the fellatio for as long as possible, but he felt so close to the precipice of pleasure that he knew he couldn't.</p><p>His bum cheeks clenched, and he stuck his dick further into the human’s warm, wet mouth. He didn’t know what Xander was doing to him to evoke such pleasure, but he was using his hands and mouth and Spike groaned as he felt his orgasm approach.  </p><p>The human gagged, trying to suck Spike further into the back of his throat, causing the vampire to groan and tremble. He reached down with one hand and carded his fingers into the human’s hair. He cinched his fingers in the dark tresses and held on, following along with the mortal’s head as it rose up and down over him. As his orgasm flooded his system with pleasurable electrical impulses, he tried to push the human’s head away. Xander resisted and continued to voraciously suck on him.</p><p>Spike groaned and choked out a laugh as he fell back against the bed. He felt pleasure in every fiber of his being and the persistent suction never stopped. He felt a splash of fire against his naked thigh and then the sucking sensation at his groin mercifully ceased. Spike was grateful, it was all too much.</p><p>Xander continued to lick and lap at Spike with his warm, wet tongue while the vampire shuddered and gasped in breath after breath. Spike tugged on Xander’s hair, pulling him away from his sensitive groin.</p><p>Lifting himself with a grin, Xander crawled up the prone vampire to lay on top of him. As they pressed their skin together, Spike found himself surprised by the warmth. He wrapped his arms around the human as Xander settled above him to kiss him.  </p><p>The two continued to make out as Spike realized that he could feel Xander’s limp dick pressed against him. He pulled back from the kiss with a frown.  </p><p>Spike shifted his hand between them and reached for the human’s groin. Xander groaned and lifted himself to spread his legs wide. Spike, aroused by the visual, watched the brunet bite his lip as he fondled him.</p><p>For some reason, it irked the vampire that Xander hadn’t enjoyed their time together. It sure seemed as if he did. Then he registered the human’s warm semen leaking down his leg and he calmed. His nostrils flared as he scented it.</p><p>Xander was fine. He’d spunked all over his leg. He did enjoy it. Spike removed his hand from between them and used it to guide the mortal’s head back in for another kiss.  </p><p>After several long moments, Xander pulled his face away and smiled as he wriggled and shifted to lay down beside him.  </p><p>Spike rolled over and enveloped the human within his arms. He snuffled into the human’s warm neck as he embraced him from behind. He lay there complacent. Spike couldn’t believe how warm Xander was.  </p><p>“You came just from sucking on me?” he said.</p><p>Xander nodded.</p><p>Spike lay there silent and perplexed. In what reality would the whelp want him this much?</p><p>"I love you, Master," Xander said.</p><p>Sated and relaxed, Spike groaned in contentment. He felt the human wriggle his naked ass deeper against his groin and he clenched his arm tighter around him. After a moment Spike wrapped his leg around the warm body as well. He listened to the human's rhythmic breathing and assumed that Xander was falling asleep.  </p><p>After long moments where he lay pensive, Spike confided a whisper into the human's hair.</p><p>"I really don't belong here, pet."</p><p>Greeted with the sound of silence, Spike kissed the top of the mortal's head and laid his head back down on the pillow.  </p><p>Xander's hand shifted backwards seeking out his hand. When he found it, he laced their fingers together.</p><p>“I know, but we'll fix it,"</p><p>Spike swallowed.  </p><p>"How?” He said, “How can you be so sure?"</p><p>Xander stayed silent for a moment and then he rolled his upper body over. He turned half around so that he could look into Spike’s eyes.</p><p>"You, um…” Xander swallowed, “Er, you said that tonight was a full moon and a meteor shower. You told me that, uh, something weird might happen... But that everything would be okay if I just did as you said."</p><p>Spike stared at Xander in confusion, "You’re saying that I knew that this would happen?"</p><p>Xander nodded. His eyes were wide emotional orbs. A sweet smile crept around his lips.  </p><p>Spike found himself replicating the smile as he stared into the human's eyes in thought.  </p><p>Where was he? Was he in another dimension? Why was he here? Also, a better question—Why was he, William the Bloody, the Slayer of Slayers, shacking up with the Slayer's white knight?  </p><p>Spike scrutinized Xander's loving gaze.  </p><p>"Did I pass into an alternate reality?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander shrugged and stretched forward for a kiss. Spike bequeathed him one and pulled back to ask something else. Xander put a finger to Spike's lips.</p><p>"It's okay. Even, if you're not the right you," Xander said, "I still love you. You'll always be my master."  </p><p>Spike stared mute and astonished at the honest expression in the eyes locked on his own. He wondered how he'd cultivated such an inclination in the whelp. It boggled his mind that Xander could feel this way towards him.</p><p>The human twisted away again, turning back around and wriggling back against Spike. Spike closed his eyes and pulled the human closer before kissing his neck.</p><p>A knock sounded at the door and after a moments silence, Xander turned and looked over his shoulder at Spike. He raised an eyebrow in question.</p><p>Spike stared at Xander, squinting. Then realization dawned on him that he should speak. Curious, he called out, "Enter".</p><p>A tall blond-haired vampire wearing a patched-up jean jacket entered the room and bowed.</p><p>"Master Spike, sorry to interrupt.” The blond vampire said, “I didn't know you were back."</p><p>Spike nodded but held his tongue.</p><p>"Xander," the blond vampire said while turning to focus on the human, "I've brought the Stelle clipping as instructed. I also found a box of Twinkies in the library, I figured you'd know why."</p><p>Spike saw the humour in the vampire’s countenance and he glanced to Xander and saw the same jest upon the mortal’s face.</p><p>Xander sat up, not pulling away from Spike's embrace, with a genuine grin, "Thank you, Avery. You can put them wherever."</p><p>Spike watched the blond vampire set down a small plant and a decorated box of hostess Twinkies on a side table before bowing at them and leaving.  </p><p>Xander laid back with a small smile playing about his mouth. Spike traced it with his finger in wonderment. He recalled Xander from his world adored the Twinkie snack food as well. Maybe they were the same person, after all.</p><p>The vampire wondered how alike the two Xander's were. Spike wondered if he could soak in the warmth of the human once he returned home. He also wondered if he could bite into the jugular of this one.</p><p>Spike hiked his leg over Xander again and spooned the warm body closer. Xander hummed and sighed in sleepy contentment as he snuggled in. Spike worried the thin skin on the human's neck with his blunt teeth, trying to mar Xander with a hickey. He suckled at the human’s pulse point as he listened to the rhythmic lub dub of his heart.</p><p>The vampire tied to ignore the ache in his chest. Oh, how lovely it would be to bite into the delicious human. Spike wanted to claim the man in his arms. He wondered what it would it be like to live in this reality. Why did he need to return home so fast? Why couldn't he stay in this world for a little while?</p><p>Spike pulled back from Xander's throat and stared at the red blood mark under the surface. As he stared at the blemish, he grimaced. He'd done it over the human’s claim scar. The other Spike’s claim scar.</p><p>Spike felt insane and he laid his head down. He, William the bloody, had already claimed the Slayer's lapdog in this reality... Would wonders never cease? He couldn't claim this whelp. He'd already done so. His mind flip flopped, he couldn’t stay here.</p><p>"What's a Stelle?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander hummed. Spike waited with his arms around the wriggling human as a sleepy, smiling Xander spun around to face him. The two shared a pillow as Xander slid his warm thick thigh between the vampires. Spike kissed the human again. Cupping the mortal’s chin with his hand. He couldn't believe how insatiable he felt. When he finished his assault, Xander gasped in breath.</p><p>"It was the first gift you ever gave me,” Xander said, "A tiny Stelle plant. It's a magical herb. Did you see the one in the front foyer?"</p><p>Spike shook his head no.</p><p>Xander nodded and continued, "I've kept it alive for 3 years, now… Something you tease me for being sentimental about, but I know you secretly enjoy it."</p><p>Spike lifted Xander's chin and kissed him again, "What's the clipping for, then?"</p><p>"It's for you..." Xander said. "You told me to get it for you tonight. You said it was a special night."</p><p>Spike stared at the human as he thought of the implications of that. How did this realm's Spike know that this was going to happen?  </p><p>Spike could tell that in this reality, he was in love with the human. It was obvious in Xander's adoration of him. It was also apparent in the way that the minions treated the human. Xander wasn’t just a blood bag in this dimension. Instead, he was William the Bloody’s consort.</p><p>Xander rolled away from him yet again and Spike cuddled the human close to his chest.</p><p>The two of them snuggled and Spike found himself pleased with how comfortable the human was around him. His mind wandered to think of Xander Harris from his own reality. They hated one another. This would never be possible.  </p><p>Spike came to a decision then. He didn't know how long he was going to be in this reality, but he decided to indulge fully in the momentary bliss. Xander was warm, willing and wanton. Spike wasn’t leaving the bed unless forced.  </p><p>As he resumed sucking on Xander's neck, Spike felt his stomach jump in excitement as the mortal pushed back into the bite. Shocks sparked in his groin as the human leaned his head further back and to the side. He was pushing his neck further into Spike’s mouth.  </p><p>Spike resisted. He didn't know if his chip worked in this new world. He didn’t want to wreck the pleasant moment they were in.  </p><p>Then Xander was reaching backwards with his hand. He grabbed the back of Spike’s head and pushed the vampire’s head down, shoving Spike’s blunt human teeth into his neck.  </p><p>Spike froze for a beat before instinct took over and he let his fangs drop. He closed his eyes in bliss as his canine teeth pierced the soft flesh. The chip didn't go off. He swallowed greedily, shocked by the flavor of the blood as it flooded his mouth. Spike closed his eyes, encumbered with euphoria.</p><p>The vampire sucked on the mortal’s throat, enamored. He moaned as he drank and felt like the king of all mankind. Spike undulated against the human as he held him against himself. He couldn’t believe how glorious the warm blood tasted.</p><p>Spike’s rocking increased against the warm body as he grew aroused. He couldn't believe Xander would feed him so freely. He couldn't believe he was drinking fresh human blood from the source. It had been so long. Spike clutched the warm body closer as he drank, mindful not to hurt the precious vessel that bestowed him such a gift.</p><p>Xander reached forwards for a second and then he was wriggling his hand back between them and gripping Spike’s renewed erection in his warm slippery palm. The vampire suckled on Xander’s throat and moaned as Xander lined up his throbbing shaft at the entrance of his anus. Spike's lips lost suction as he groaned when his shaft slipped inside the mortal’s tight cavity.  </p><p>“Jesus!” Spike said.</p><p>The vampire gasped and leaned his forehead against the humans back. Xander huffed out a little chuckle and shifted as he accepted Spike into his body.</p><p>Spike gripped the mortal’s hips.  He was in a zone of pure pleasure. He felt himself slide to the hilt inside the warm human as he saw a line of blood dripping down the olive skin of Xander’s back. Spike licked up the line of the ruby blood and resealed his mouth over the mortal’s throat. </p><p>As he pulled more of the human’s blood into his mouth, he pulled his hips back and pushed himself back in. He nearly choked on the blood as he sank deep into the human’s core.  </p><p>Xander moaned, “Yes, Master. Please!”</p><p>Spike held Xander's hips in place as he pulled his hips back and pushed himself back in. He groaned and his hips canted without his permission. He couldn’t believe how good this felt. He couldn't believe how tight the human was. Spike felt like his dick was in a vise.  </p><p>The vampire rocked his hips, sheathing himself again and again in the warm human body while he sucked and lapped at the mortal's bloody throat. He pulled away from the wound as it began to ebb.</p><p>When he pulled away, to look at the mark, he squinted. He’d bitten Xander exactly over the human’s original claim scar.</p><p>Spike thrust into the human from behind as he watched mismatched rivets of scarlet blood dribble down the human’s back. He rolled his hips and grinned. The mortal felt beyond exquisite. Spike felt like he kept pushing his dick into a burning ring of fire. He curled his hand around Xander’s side to fondle him.  </p><p>“Mmmaster!” The mortal moaned as he was jack hammered forwards.</p><p>Xander clenched his anal sphincter and Spike groaned as he moved his hand off the human’s limp dick. He regripped his hipbone and stilled as he tried to gather his bearings. Everything felt so good. Too good. He took a breath to regain control of himself.  </p><p>Xander clenched himself around Spike and huffed out a laugh as Spike resumed thrusting. The vampire focused on pistoning his hips back and forth in slick, full thrusts as he quickly approached orgasm.  </p><p>The vampire manhandled the human onto his stomach and thrust into him. Xander clambered to his hands and knees and eagerly pushed back against every incoming thrust. The two of them moaned insatiably.</p><p>Spike reached around the human again to gauge his interest but found only a limp penis dangling. Understanding that the human wouldn’t be able to orgasm again, Spike focused on building his own pleasure. He thrust as deep and as fast as he could into the warm, willing human. With one last forceful pump, after a bombardment of shallow thrusts, Spike shot his semen deep into the bowels of the writhing mortal. Xander’s legs buckled and he fell flat to the bed.</p><p>Spike followed him down, landing atop him and restuffing his dick into the human’s ass. Spike leaned forwards, his body blanketing the mortal, and licked the bloody drops from the human’s throat as he continued to slowly push his erection deep into Xander as it wore off.  </p><p>Xander shifted his hands up and clasped his fingers with the vampire’s and hummed happily. Snugly situated within Xander, Spike rested on top of the human. He stared at their clasped hands until he fell asleep.  </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander waited until he felt Spike's hold around him slacken. He clenched his ass cheeks and bit his lip as he felt the penis within him flinch in response. Xander turned his head and looked over his shoulder at the vampire. He clenched his ass cheeks together again and again until his master's doppelganger's slick dick slid out of him.  </p><p>Xander carefully withdrew from the vampire and crawled from the bed. With silent steps, he crept around the room to pull out a premade spell printed on a piece of parchment. He’d received it earlier in the day from his true master Spike.  </p><p>Xander followed the directions on the paper. He crafted a chalk circle around the bed where the vampire slept and then sprinkled spell ingredients around the corpse before he checked on the black, pre-lit, three wick candle on the bedside table.  </p><p>The human looked around the room to verify he’d created the exact scene his master had instructed and then he turned back to the sleeping vampire.</p><p>Xander moved around the room, folding up all the clothes he'd taken off the vampire. He grabbed the tiny plant cutting that Avery delivered earlier and then set everything down on the bed. He leaned forward and kissed Spike on the forehead before stepping back. He pulled his lips to the side in contemplation while he stared at the blond.</p><p>The human blinked out of his thoughts and moved to stand in front of the bedside table. He stared at the candle for a moment. Then he started to speak his first syllable of the spell. Xander stopped. He blinked and then swung his head around to look to the side. He stared at a plain silver ring sitting atop the dresser.  </p><p>He moved across the room, reached out for the ring, and then tossed it onto the bed before moving back to stand before the candle. Xander restarted chanting the words as instructed. He made sure to pronounce the spell right and took his time enunciating. When the magic finished, as Xander said his last sentence, the candle wicked itself out.</p><p>Xander stood blind in the darkness. He stepped forwards and fumbled around for the lighter that should be next to the candle. He found it, lit the candle on the bedside table, and looked around.   </p><p>Spike and the bed were gone. Both had disappeared to wherever the spell had sent them.  </p><p>Xander wrung his hands as he stared at the empty space. He hoped he did the magic right. He hoped he pronounced the words right. He hoped he sent the doppelganger back to his right time and place. He hoped, more then anything, that his master would return to him.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Daydreams</h2></a>
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</p><p>Spike groaned as he stretched and woke up. Everything smelled different. He curled his arms around a cool pillow and blinked open his eyes. There was a warm body missing from the bed. He sat up and the white sheets slid to his lap as he squinted around in confusion. He could tell he wasn't in the same room he'd fallen asleep in, except he wasn't.</p><p>He lay in the same bed, he knew because he could smell Xander's sweat and sex on the sheets, but the room was different. Now cold and barren, the room was covered in black ash and soot. The scorched, stained walls were a stark contrast to the pristine white bed he lay in. </p><p>Spike sat with his tongue between his teeth, wondering what the hell was going on. He'd expected to wake up with his arms filled with a warm horny human. Instead, he'd woken up inside the same room, only different. He strained to listen for a heartbeat but heard nothing. He was alone in the house.</p><p>Spike saw his clothes folded up in a pile at the end of the bed and he stared at them as he crawled out from beneath the sheets. He felt numb. Settled atop his folded up duster was a small plant pot. The small plant further proved that last night’s excursion really happened. </p><p>The Stelle, Xander called it, was about 4 inches high and it looked like a tiny upside-down Christmas tree. The tiny fronds were black and covered in a purple sheen of bioluminescence. He stared at the purplish plant and inspected the low level light the clipping emitted. It was a curious plant, he'd never seen anything like it.</p><p>Spike reached out for his jeans and saw something fall to the ground. He finished pulling on his pants and then got to his knees to look under the bed. He reached out and picked up a plain silver ring. He looked at it as he righted himself and then set it down next to the Stelle on the bed to finished dressing. He couldn't take his eyes off the silver ring. He wondered what it was for? Was it Xander’s? </p><p>Spike could smell Xander’s scent all over the bed. There was also a pervasive smell that overpowered the humans. It was a smell Spike knew well. It was the smell of home. He was back in his own reality. He knew it to be true in his bones. He was back in the hell hole that was his life on the mouth of hell. The pungent floral smell of the other realm was gone. Only a lingering scent of it adhered to the bedding.</p><p>There was no warmth in the barren, torched room and Spike wanted to go back. He'd experienced a night of reverent adoration from the human and he wanted more. He could still taste Xander's blood as he ran his tongue over his teeth. A wave of anger rolled through him as he thought about returning to his dismal life.</p><p>He hadn’t known he could feel worse then living as a chipped vampire. But now he knew it was possible. He’d had something wonderful dangled in front of him and just as rapidly as it started, it no longer existed.</p><p>He looked around and growled. He hated magic. It always buggered everything up. What the bloody hell did Drusilla do to him? This was all her fault.</p><p>Every time Spike took a breath, he caught Xander's scent permeating the dank room. He spun around and stared at the closed window. He approached it, remembering he’d left it open in the other world. He wrenched open the sooty fabric curtains to see the dark night sky clouded over and shrouding the moon.</p><p>He opened the window and stuck his head through to get some fresh air.</p><p>Spike frowned when he looked down at the yard. There was a large tree that came close to the house. A tree he knew wasn't there when he'd climbed through the window the night before. He was also surprised to see that all the landscaping he'd walked through the night before was gone. There were no little shrubs, no paved paths, or lit walkways. No vampires littering the landscape. </p><p>Spike glanced back at the bed and then crossed the room to inspect the tiny plant pot and ring. He wanted to crush the plant under his foot, but he stopped himself as he remembered Xander telling him that he had kept his "gift" for 3 years.</p><p>With a sour look on his face, Spike picked up the tiny plant and ring and head out of the room. He moved down the hallway, looking into the empty rooms as he passed. The house appeared to have been through a fire but Spike couldn’t tell where it originated. It didn’t appear to have any structural damage. The house was simply filthy and abandoned, covered in soot and smoke stains.</p><p>Spike continued to look around the barren house as he stepped down the stairwell leading to the main floor. When he scanned the foyer, he knew exactly where to put the Stelle. He stopped before a waist height chunk of marble. The pedestal had a flat top, and he figured it was most likely the equivalent of where Xander put his Stelle in the other world.</p><p>As he brushed aside the dust on the marble, Spike wondered what the house looked like in the other reality. He set down the tiny plant, placed the ring beside it, and then stood staring at them. He was at a loss to explain what he was feeling. He pursed his lips and stuck his hands into his duster pockets as he turned to leave the house.</p><p>Spike sighed and reached for a cigarette from his breast pocket. He paused in mid step and his coat slapped against the back of his calves. He fingered the stone Drusilla gave him and withdrew it. He glared at the tiny stone as he turned it over in his hands. He rubbed his thumb over the engraved rune, flaking off sprinkles of dried Sire’s blood. Spike then stepped back up to the marble pedestal to set the stone down inside the ring’s circumference. </p><p>He squinted at the three objects and wondered what Drusilla’s purpose was. She was the one responsible for his odd magical night, of that he was sure, but to what end? It baffled him. In what world would Drusilla want him to claim a human? And not just any human. That one. A male one. Xander.</p><p>Spike stood staring at the three objects as he remembered how severely Drusilla made her opinions known regarding William’s human predilections. For two centuries, Spike hadn’t been allowed to associate with men sexually. His Sire demanded it. Ever the devoted and loyal Childe, Spike shut off that part of himself for his Sire. Thus, he never experimented. He'd never laid with another man before last night. The experience with Xander was something new entirely. Even after Drusilla and him broke up, Spike refrained from sating his own curiosity for his Sire’s sake. </p><p>Human William may have been filled with shame regarding his propensities, but Spike wasn’t. Once he was turned, Spike had no such quibbles. </p><p>As a fledgling vampire, he was drawn to men more so then when he was human. His thirst for discovery had been so great that it became apparent to his Sire. Drusilla cornered him and tortured him. She demanded he not do what she knew he had planned. She threatened him. Saying that if he continued to chase after the same sex, she would leave him or kill him. </p><p>So Spike let that be the end of it. He obeyed his Sire and stuffed his urges deep down. The demon within him knew that sating his curiosity wasn’t worth losing his Sire’s favor. And, for a time, he’d been happy enough. He never strayed from Drusilla in over 200 years. He loved her devoutly. He had no need to look outside of their relationship.</p><p>Now, though, Drusilla had somehow bewitched him into a scenario where he ‘got some’ with the slayer’s whipping boy. Spike didn’t understand, it just wasn’t done. Drusilla would never advocate for homosexuality. Spike knew, better then anyone, Drusilla’s opinions about same sex relationships... about him.</p><p>Spike closed his eyes and sighed. It wasn’t like he wanted a relationship with the human male, he thought. </p><p>He reached up and scrubbed his eyes with his hands as he remembered the soft look Xander gave him when he’d first woken up. Spike stood thinking about the night before. He couldn’t lie to himself. His mind was saturated with thoughts of Xander.</p><p>He couldn’t get the fling out of his head. He couldn’t stop imagining what if that was his life? What if he’d woken up there today? Would Xander have let him fuck him again? If Spike was honest with himself, he wanted to do it again and again. He wanted it forever and all time. He wanted to come home from a hard fight and find Xander waiting in bed for him with a warm wet mouth. He wanted to claim him.</p><p>Spike had no idea what the hell happened to him the night before. He knew he’d traveled magically to another reality and he knew it had something to do with Drusilla and the full moon... But also, Xander Harris, somehow. But why? He couldn’t figure it out.</p><p>Spike spun on his heel and crossed the foyer in long steps before he exited the house letting the door slam behind him.</p><p>As he stalked around Sunnydale in the dark, Spike moped with internal conflict. His head was a mess. He sucked back smoke after smoke as he walked the streets feeling bereft. He felt like he'd been given and lost something very special, all in one night. He wasn't paying attention to where he was heading when he stumbled around a corner and into an altercation. </p><p>"Hey, do you fucking mind?"</p><p>Spike looked up to see a vampire standing in front of a human. The vampire’s fangs were out. Spike took a step forward.</p><p>“Oi, mate, not looking ta steal your meal.”</p><p>The vampire stared at Spike, unimpressed, while Spike pulled out a new smoke out and lit it.</p><p>Spike turned from the vampire to the victim and smelled that the human wasn't fully human. </p><p>"Oi. What’re you, then?" he said.</p><p>Spike brought forward his vampire face and grinned as he got closer to the vampire and halfling.</p><p>Feeling spunky and self-destructive, Spike wondered if his chip worked on halflings. He'd never tested it before. He reached out and pinched the half human's arm as he got closer. His chip went off and he grabbed his head and yelped.</p><p>“Balls!” he growled.</p><p>The other vampire and halfling both stared at him in confusion before they began chortling. </p><p>Spike pulled his hands away from his head and glanced around for his missing smoke. Spotting it, he reached down to pick it up.</p><p>The other vampire turned and yelled, "Oh, come on!"</p><p>Spike righted himself to see the other vampire throw his hands up in the air as a large blue demon stepped out of the shadows.</p><p>Spike stared at the demon, squinting through his headache, as it slowly approached. He gulped as he recognized it. He hoped it was the parent of the tiny blue demon he'd seen run through town. Otherwise, the tiny blue tyke was growing awfully fast into a giant. He scanned the demon for distinguishing traits and didn't see anything noteworthy besides the blue skin, silver triangle eyes and dodecahedron head.</p><p>The two vampires and the halfling stood staring at the hulking blue demon as it approached step by step. The demon stopped in the middle of the street and snarled at them. </p><p>Spike glanced to the side and snorted as he saw the halfling’s face frozen in fear. He then looked at the other vampire to see him give a battle cry before charging at the demon.</p><p>The enraged vampire got in a few good punches and kicks before he received a solid haymaker that sent him flying. </p><p>Spike saw the shock and panic on the vampire's face as he flew backwards and landed on his ass. As he scrambled to stand, he looked towards Spike and the halfling for help. When he saw he wasn’t receiving aid, he took off running. </p><p>The blue demon pursued the fleeing vampire, chasing after him with quick long steps. The two disappeared into the darkness. Spike and the halfling didn't move until the vampire and demon were surely gone. Spike turned to the half-human, wondering why the monster ignored them both. When Spike met the half human's gaze, their eye's locked. </p><p>The vampire couldn't tell who he was looking at. All he could see was the man's dark iris's fusing into his black pupils. Spike's hands fell to his side like dead weight as he stared into the stranger's eyes.</p><p>"You're pathetic,” The halfling sneered in a low sinister voice, “You should kill yourself."</p><p>Spike stood there for long moments, blinking. His mind reverberating with magic. He didn’t notice the half-human leave. The phrase stained his thoughts.</p><p>"You should kill yourself" </p><p>The thought rang repeatedly in his mind, becoming an insidious mantra that weaseled and twisted into his cerebellum.</p><p>In a daze, Spike stood in the middle of the road. </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike snapped out of his befuddlement when he heard footsteps approach. He turned in the direction of the sound as he wondered what he was doing standing in the middle of the road. He looked down at the cigarette butt in his hand that had a full length of ash hanging from it.</p><p>Spike flicked the butt away and glanced around as he lit up another smoke. He investigated his surroundings but didn’t remember arriving there. Why had he come here? Better question: Why couldn’t he remember why he was there? Spike stood lost in thought as he observed the human duo approaching him. </p><p>Buffy and Xander walked up to Spike. They stopped in front of the vampire and looked between each other as Spike didn't appear to be registering their presence. Buffy frowned and waved her hand in front of Spike’s face.</p><p>The vampire blinked, “Wot?”</p><p>"What’s shakin’ Bloodbreath?" Xander said.</p><p>Xander closed his mouth, spooked, as Spike's gaze whipped over to him. Xander blinked away from the eerie stare and turned to look at Buffy in question. </p><p>Spike licked his lips and took a deep breath as he stared at the human. His nostrils flared and his pupils dilated. He hadn’t expected Harris in this reality to be younger then the Xander from last night. Spike couldn’t take his eye’s off the whelp. What had Xander said? He’d had the Stelle plant for 3 years? Could this be that Xander from 3 years in the past? </p><p>Buffy watched the vampire, pensive, "Hey, what's wrong with you?”</p><p>Spike blinked and sucked in a breath as he turned his gaze from Xander to Buffy. His eyes narrowed.</p><p>"I'm fine, Slayer,” he said, “Just daydreaming of killing your predecessors s’all."</p><p>Spike smirked when Buffy glared.</p><p>"You know,” she said, “I can put you out of your misery whenever you want me to."<br/> <br/>The slight girl shifted closer, brandishing her stake. Spike smiled and looked down at the stake as she pressed it against his chest. </p><p>The vampire stood trapped in his head, looking down at the wood digging into his shirt. He filled with longing for the slayer to just push the stake in. Spike’s mind reverberated with the prospect of disappearing into a million tiny particles of ash. He thought that dying via Slayer was really the only just end for a Master Vampire. He knew what he had to do. He had to goad the Slayer and provoke her to end his existence.</p><p>"Ya know Slayer," Spike started.</p><p>Neither the vampire, nor slayer, noticed the orange demon with a rhino horn protruding from its chest advance, but Xander did. It ran like a freight train towards them through the darkness. </p><p>Xander shouted, moments before the demon reached them, “Behind you!"</p><p>Spike looked up and Buffy turned. </p><p>Xander watched surprised as Spike didn’t move out of the demon’s way. The vampire had time to move, Xander was sure of it, but then just stood in place as the orange demon rammed into him. The demon’s horn sliding deep into Spike's torso. </p><p>Xander stood gaping from the sidelines as the orange demon threw its shoulders back and its chest horn lifted the vampire off the ground. He wondered why Spike didn’t dodge out of the way.</p><p>The orange demon, with Spike skewered on it’s chest, screeched and lashed out an arm at Buffy. The Slayer dodged and kicked out at the demon propelling it backwards. The horn tore free from Spike’s torso leaving a gaping circular wound.</p><p>Spike gasped, as he was freed and he landed on his feet. He stood standing in one place as he felt his entrails shift. He heard his internal organs pour out of his open stomach and he looked down to watch as yards of his insides spilled out and fell to the ground. Spike dropped to his knees and reached out a shaky hand to grab them and stuff them back inside his body. </p><p>Buffy fought with the orange demon, taunting it and luring it away from Spike and Xander. </p><p>Xander rushed over to Spike and brought his hand to his mouth as he gagged. After an odd sounding burp in the back of his throat, he moved closer and tried to coax the vampire onto his back.</p><p>Spike fell onto his back with a grunt. He stared up at the human helping him with wide curious eyes.</p><p>Xander set to work piling Spike’s sloppy innards back inside his body. The vampire groaned in agony, yet was unable to speak words. Shock was quickly leaving him and morphing into unfathomable amounts of pain. Spike closed his eyes and waited with grit teeth for the human to finish.</p><p>Xander glanced up periodically to see that Buffy was good with the demon as he continued to stuff Spike's slippery intestines back inside his torso. He gagged repeatedly, until all the squishy bits were back inside. He then fought to button up Spike’s leather duster to create a sort of tourniquet.</p><p>Spike stared up at Harris in silent wonderment. He closed his eyes and then opened them again as the human dry retched again. He scowled.</p><p>"Don't you dare puke inside me,"</p><p>Xander’s chest heaved again and shook his head and tried to breath through his mouth. </p><p>“I wont. I’m good.” Xander said.</p><p>Spike watched as the human turned his head down and to the side as he wiped his bloody hands on the grass.  The vampire could hear the bile gurgling in the human's throat. </p><p>Beyond grossed out, Xander looked around to find Buffy. He saw her huffing and puffing across the street. She held the orange demon's horn up triumphantly when she caught him looking. The demon lay dead at her feet.</p><p>"Hey! Take Spike back to his crypt. I’ll dispose of this guy." She said.</p><p>"Deal," Xander called back.</p><p>Xander watched as the Slayer dragged the orange corpse by it’s feet towards a nearby cemetery. Once she was out of sight, Xander focused on the task at hand and struggled with Spike to lift him to standing.</p><p>Even though the vampire had his legs under himself, his gait was all over the place. Xander held him up with an arm around his waist as they stumbled back to the vampire’s crypt. Spike kept silent the entire journey, clutching his coat tightly closed around himself. </p><p>Xander saw the crypt door wide open and he approached cautiously with his eyes alert. They entered, saw no one, and propelled the wounded vampire down the steps towards the casket. Xander grimaced as he saw the vampire left a bloody trail across the stone floor. </p><p>He helped Spike up onto the stone slab and then Xander stood staring at him. He couldn’t help but feel a bit bad for him. He supposed it was because he’d touched his intestines.<br/> <br/>"Damn, you look awful," Xander said.</p><p>"Feel it," Spike said.</p><p>Xander watched as the vampire closed his eyes. He didn’t reopen them.</p><p>"Got any blood?" Xander said.</p><p>"No,"</p><p>"Damn,"</p><p>Xander looked around the crypt and then back at the ripped apart vampire.</p><p>"Jeez, you look deader if that’s possible," Xander said, "Almost feel like I should make a donation,"</p><p>Spike opened an eye to stare hard at Harris. He wondered where the thought came from in the human. This wasn't the same Xander he'd spent the night with. This one didn't like him one bit, this one would never offer such a thing.</p><p>Xander laughed, "Heh, yeah, that's crazy talk. I guess I just feel bad since my hands were inside you, ya know? I'm pretty sure I touched your liver."</p><p>Xander shivered as he looked down at his blood encrusted hands. He wanted nothing more than to skedaddle from the vampire's direct stare. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He was once again grateful for the behavior modification chip. He knew that without it, Spike would have drained him already.</p><p>“Well, see ya,” Xander said, “I’ll try to bring by some blood tomorrow.”</p><p>Xander turned and headed to the door. Once he was over the threshold, with the door closed behind him, he took a deep calming breath. Eurgh, vampire’s creeped him out. Especially, when they were hungry.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Buffy finished covering the hornless orange demon with a few fallen palm leaves. She wiped the sweat off her forehead and dusted herself off before leaving the cemetery to reunite with Xander.</p><p>She stopped dead in her tracks as she reached the sidewalk. Staring straight ahead, she forced a smile to her face. </p><p>"Hey, Mr. tall dark and handsome,” Buffy said, “What are you doing out here?"</p><p>She accepted the cocoa colored that reached out for hers as her new boyfriend approached.</p><p>Buffy hadn't told anyone about Jamie yet, and she didn’t plan to for a while. Though, she did feel obligated to tell Xander about Jamie soon, since the two of them made a truce to help each other through their lonely feelings over the summer. </p><p>Still, Buffy didn’t want to tell her friends about Jamie yet, because she still didn't trust their newly budding relationship. It was all so new and even now she found herself feeling the need to lie to the man. </p><p>"I couldn't sleep,” Jamie said, “I guess, I just needed some fresh air." </p><p>Buffy nodded.</p><p>"Oh. Me too. I’m just out for a run," she said.</p><p>Buffy smiled, proud of herself for her quick-thinking plausible lie. She was covered in sweat and her hair was in disarray. </p><p>"Are we still on for sushi tomorrow?" she said.</p><p>"Yeah,” Jamie said, “I'll meet you at the restaurant?”</p><p>Buffy nodded.</p><p>She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. Jamie smiled against her lips before pulling away.</p><p>"Alright,” Buffy said, “I should get back to bed, have a goodnight."</p><p>Buffy let go of Jamie’s hand and stepped away.</p><p>Jamie favored Buffy with a wide smile that radiated from his eyes as well.</p><p>"Goodnight," he said.</p><p>Buffy turned and headed in the direction of her home. Once Jamie was out of sight, she backtracked and headed towards Spike’s crypt to find Xander.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike lay torn apart on the marble slab. His duster buttons were all that kept his gaping chest wound held together. As he lay there, he mourned what he'd gained and lost in a single night. He found that he wanted this reality's Harris to want him like the other reality’s Harris did. </p><p>Spike only spent one night with the human, but he was stuck with all these residual feelings. He was left ruminating about all these memories of things that he shouldn’t know. Like how fast Xander's heartbeat was, and how warm he was when he was excited. Spike now knew what the human tasted like. How his brown eyes could blacken with lust and how cute the curve of his mouth was. Spike had learned how pliant and engaging Xander could be while lost in passion. All these things Spike wouldn't know had he not been magically shifted into another reality.</p><p>Spike tried to reprogram his brain, as he lay there. He tried to pretend that it never happened. It was all just a bad dream.</p><p>He lay awake the whole night, trapped by his body and tortured by his mind. Dawn approached and he was in too much pain to fall asleep. His skin prickled and felt tight as he struggled to sit up. He persisted through the agony. There was something he had to do.</p><p>The vampire dragged his broken bloody body out onto the lawn in front of his crypt. He dropped himself to the ground and laid propped against the stone mausoleum. Bloody rivets poured out from underneath his coat as he sat there waiting for the sun to rise.</p><p>Embracing his pathetic feelings, he felt his eyes well with water as he thought of the chip in his head. He wasn't a vampire anymore, and he wasn’t human. He was nothing. Nothing but a demon in a cage... And now he'd developed this weird yen for one of the Slayer's groupies from a one-off day of bad magic... He felt like a right failure. A few tears slip out of the corners of his eyes as he mourned his long unlife. </p><p>Eventually, he closed his eyelids, and waited to greet the coming dawn. Memories of last night, falling asleep encased within Harris’s doppelganger, replayed in his mind like a guilty pleasure. He hoped that the moments of yesterday’s passion were his last thoughts.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>As the unknown darkness chased his heels, Xander hurried through the cemetery towards Spike’s crypt. He had a white plastic bag dangling from one hand and a backpack slung over his shoulder.</p><p>When he saw Spike sitting outside the crypt he squinted and quickened his pace. When he got closer, he reached out for the vampire's arm.</p><p>"What the hell?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike lashed out with a fist at Xander and cuffed him on the chin. The vampire caved in on himself with a whine as he expected the chip to go off in retaliation, but it didn't.</p><p>"Silly monster, chipped remember?" Xander said. </p><p>Spike clutched his head out of habit, while he listened to the human's curt voice.</p><p>"You're such an ass," Xander said.</p><p>The human licked his split lip as he reached for the vampire's arm again. </p><p>Spike lashed out to hit him again but Xander blocked the punch. Angry, the human retaliated and punched Spike as hard as he could across the jaw. It did nothing, except make Spike snarl and snap his fangs at him. </p><p>Oblivious to the blood pouring out between the buttons on his coat, Spike seemed to be in a frenzy. He was tearing open his wound further as he struggled to get at the human. </p><p>Xander, frustrated and at a loss, grabbed Spikes head and smashed it against the stone wall. The snarling, stupid, vampire finally stilled. </p><p>Xander stood shocked and heaved in breath after breath as he glared at the unconscious vampire.</p><p>"Jerk... I should leave you out here to fry,"</p><p>Xander licked the drops of blood off his lip again and leaned over to grab the vampire by the boots. He dragged Spike's carcass inside. Uncaring if the vampire’s head banged down the stone steps, Xander muttered about ‘stupid vampires' as he took in the vivid red blood trail the vampire left on the stone floor. </p><p>Xander huffed as he pulled on the vamp. The long leather duster bunched up around the vampire's waist and squeezed out yet more blood.</p><p>Spike's hands started smoking as the first rays of sun came thru the trees and slipped inside the crypt door.</p><p>"Serves you right," Xander said.</p><p>He crossed the room and closed the metal door. He stood blinking until his vision adapted and then stood staring at where he'd left the disgusting bloody body.</p><p>Xander stood speculating why Spike would try to kill himself. He recalled thinking this whole suicide thing was over now that Spike could kill demons. He shook himself out of his thoughts. It didn't matter. </p><p>He prepared himself to open Spike’s duster. He breathed through his mouth, as the smell made him want to gag. He then got to work cleaning up the vampire as well as he could. He used a lot of gauze bandages and placed the leftovers back in the plastic bag. Then he set the plastic bag full of blood bags and bandages next to the vampire's head. </p><p>Xander stared at the vampire when finished. He started thinking about why Spike was trying to kill himself again. He wondered if maybe the vampire was like him. Maybe he’d done something stupid by accident and it just appeared like he was trying to commit suicide. </p><p>Xander's mouth twisted in thought. He grabbed a blood bag from the plastic bag and placed it in the vampire's limp hand. He then left the crypt and headed across the cemetery grass towards the double meat palace. His work shift started soon. </p><p>While he walked, Xander couldn't stop thinking about Spike acting suicidal again. He didn’t know how he felt about it. On the one hand he knew that Spike was just another vampire, he could die, and it wouldn’t hurt the world one bit. But on the other hand, he also knew Willow’s opinion about it. She wouldn’t accept Spike killing himself last year and she still wouldn’t this year.</p><p>Xander resigned himself to live vicariously through Willow’s sympathetic heart. He made a mental note to keep an eye on the vampire in the future. Pushing his thoughts aside, with the intention to bring it up with Willow later, Xander entered the front doors of the fast food restaurant.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike woke up sometime after Xander left. He shifted and looked down to see bandages littering his torso. He lifted his hand to touch the white gauze and realized he was holding something. He lifted his hand and closed his eyes in bliss as he brought the blood bag to his mouth. He sank his fangs into it and drank the blood down. He didn’t even taste it, he was so despondent. Nevertheless, the demon within him was grateful for sustenance.</p><p>Spike threw the empty blood bag to the floor and looked down at his bandages again.</p><p>He hated himself as he admitted it, but he needed help. He needed out of the rut he was in. He knew he couldn't go on like this anymore. He needed his Sire. He needed the chip taken out of his head or he needed euthanasia. He felt pathetic. He wanted the agony that was his unlife to stop.</p><p>Spike closed his eyes and his mind reeled back to all he left behind in the other reality. Spike felt liquid leak out of his eyes, and he clenched his eyelids closed. He kept his face expressionless as an ache the size of a chasm collapsed in his chest. </p><p>“That wasn’t real,” he told himself.</p><p>He didn’t know how much longer he could go on feeling like this.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>The next night Buffy and Xander popped in to check on Spike during their patrol of his cemetery. </p><p>Spike heard them chatting as they meandered through the tombstones, long before they showed up. They talked about the influx of zombies until Buffy segued into telling Xander about a date she had planned later that night. Apparently, his name was Jamie and he was tall dark and handsome. A normal, human guy. They were going for sushi.</p><p>"He was born here, but his parents sent him to a boarding school. But, he's back now and he's decided to stay in Sunnydale. He's going to UCSD and he's like Mensa smart. He's literally the whole package. He's handsome, he's funny, and we mustn’t forget that he’s also super into me."<br/> <br/>"Aren't they always?" Xander replied, with a laugh.</p><p>Spike snorted as he lay atop the stone casket and listened to them approach.</p><p>He hadn't expected them, but Spike found himself aching to see Harris. He couldn't get enough. He knew that it wasn't the same Xander, but it looked like him. Smelled like him. Most likely, tasted like him.</p><p>A gust of brisk air swept into the crypt and Spike opened his eyes and rolled his head to the side to squint at the humans as they entered.</p><p>He wanted to ask Xander to climb into his arms and stay with him, to cuddle him back to health, and let him drink from him. But the vampire knew that it would never happen in this world. This was a much different Xander. This was Harris. Spike was the only one who had experienced a change of heart in the other world.</p><p>"So, what's up with the zombies?" Spike said.</p><p>"Huh?" the Scooby’s looked at each other and then back at Spike.</p><p>"Oh, uh, we don't know yet," Buffy said, "There’s no talisman or necromancer or whatever."</p><p>"We're searching for a flesh eater too," Xander put in.</p><p>Spike flicked his eyes over to Xander. </p><p>"Fun," Spike said.</p><p>Buffy tossed Spike a blood bag. He caught it and bit into it. He locked eyes with Xander over the top of it.</p><p>Xander felt uneasy and turned to Buffy, "Shall we?"</p><p>Spike watched them leave as he finished the blood bag and tossed it to the ground. He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't understand why he felt the way he did. He felt like his heart was coming out of the hole in his torso. It didn't make sense. Harris was nothing but a gnat to him until a few days ago, and now he was all Spike could bloody think about. It was driving him mental. In this universe, Harris hated him. He hated all vampires. There was no way the kid would change his tune. </p><p>“It is what it is,” Spike said. </p><p>His voice echoed in the stale room.</p><p>Spike lay in corpse pose focusing on his wounds knitting back together. He licked the blood out of the corners of his mouth and muttered aloud to the Xander from the other reality.</p><p>"You're not the same... I hafta forget you and I will… I just don't know how yet."</p><p>Spike closed his eyes and groaned, "Ugh, pigs blood."</p><p>His eyes blinked opened and he turned his face to stare at the closed door. He could distinctly recall drinking human blood last time. Four packs of human blood had been left upon the slab for him. The blood today, though, was swine.</p><p>Spike pursed his lips and wondered why that was. Was it possible that this reality's Harris had possibly come to care about him enough to feed him human blood to heal? </p><p>Spike lost himself in painful daydreams. He thought about how sweet it would be to have his own claimed human doting on him right now. He fantasized as he lay there focused on letting his body knit back together. He could only imagine a world where he had a personal blood bag that doted on him. He could only dream.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Buffy stepped into the café and spied Jamie seated at a table for two. She joined him with a grin and slid into a seat.</p><p>“Hey!” she said.</p><p>“Hey yourself,” Jamie said. </p><p>The two grinned at one another as a waiter approached them.</p><p>“Can I order for you?” Jamie said.</p><p>Buffy nodded, “Oh, please do,”</p><p>Buffy couldn’t help staring at Jamie with doe eyes, while he spoke with the waiter. The Japanese dish names rolling off his tongue with a practiced ease. Buffy grinned as she reached across the table to clasp Jamie’s hand. She stared beguiled at the difference of melanin in their skin. She flipped his hand over and inspected his palm.</p><p>Jamie curled his large hand around her own and explained to her that he’d ordered several courses of food. She only had to try a little of each, but he was getting many different dishes so she could experience a plethora of different things. </p><p>Buffy assured him that she would try every dish but couldn’t promise that she’d like them. </p><p>Jamie grinned and explained that they start with Miso soup first.</p><p>A different waiter showed up with a large tea pot and set them each down a small clay cup. Buffy and Jamie sat silently as the hot tea was poured. They’d just started talking again as their Miso soup showed up. </p><p>Buffy looked at it swirl before her as she sipped at the floral hot water in her cup. She straightened her shoulders and forced herself to have some soup. While she sat thinking about the flavour in her mouth, Jamie looked at her in askance and she shrugged. </p><p>“It’s alright,” she said.</p><p>Jamie chuckled and asked her if she’d seen the news. When Buffy shook her head no, Jamie launched into talking about the recent presidential campaign coverage. Buffy listened as Jamie spoke. She loved the sound of his deep velvety voice, especially when he spoke passionately about things he liked. She only wished that she could engage with him. Not being interested in politics in the slightest, she instead spent most of her time smiling and nodding her head. Buffy was so involved with following the conversation that she finished her Miso soup.</p><p>Jamie brought up a news story about a string of people disappearing in Sunnydale, as a beautifully presented Sushi platter slid onto their table followed by another. Side plates were added and both Buffy and Jamie thanked the waiter before staring down at the plates.</p><p>Jamie picked up his chopsticks while Buffy clutched her hot teacup between her hands. She didn’t really enjoy the tea, nor the soup, and suddenly she felt backed up against a wall as she looked at the sushi with reticence.</p><p>“It’s all dead. I promise.” Jamie said, “No squirming tentacles.” </p><p>Buffy smiled at him, “I told you I’m game to try everything. It just – I’ve only ever had California rolls before.”</p><p>Jamie smirked and used his chopstick to grab a dollop of wasabi to mix with soy sauce in a small shallow dish.</p><p>“Here, try them dipped in this,” he said.</p><p>Buffy picked up her chopsticks and scanned the rows of beautifully decorated sushi. Recognizing one, she deftly picked up a California roll.  </p><p>Jamie laughed.</p><p>“Not that one!” he said, “We know you like that one!”</p><p>Buffy grinned and dipped the sushi in the wasabi-soya sauce mixture. She then popped it in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully.</p><p>“I like it!” she said.</p><p>Jamie shook his head fondly while grinning.</p><p>“Quit acting cute,” he said, “Try the tuna or salmon. Something raw.”</p><p>Buffy smirked and reached out to grab a sushi roll with a bunch of tiny orange eggs on top of it. She dipped it in wasabi and then moved it to her mouth to bite into it. </p><p>She couldn’t fully fit it in her mouth and had to bite through half of it. The sushi fell apart and dropped towards her lap and she caught the mess reflexively with her free hand. She snorted a laugh at herself as she felt a drip of wasabi spill across her cheek and down her neck. Buffy plopped her handful of fallen food down on the side of her plate.<br/> <br/>Jamie picked up a napkin to wipe the errant drop of wasabi juice from her cheek and down the side of her neck. Buffy blushed embarrassed by her table manners. </p><p>“What do you think?” he asked.</p><p>Jamie dabbed the napkin against Buffy’s throat.</p><p>Buffy swallowed deeply as she noticed his eyes staring at the scar on the side of her neck.</p><p> “That one was good too!” she said.</p><p>Jamie hummed and caught Buffy’s eyes, “That one was eel.”</p><p>“Ew!”</p><p>Buffy squirmed in her seat with her face screwed up. </p><p>Jamie chuckled as he pointed to Buffy’s throat, “What’s this?”</p><p>Buffy reached up and felt her neck, instinctively, “Oh… Um, It’s just a scar.”</p><p>Jamie stared at the mark and then looked into Buffy’s eyes.</p><p>Buffy looked down and grabbed a napkin to wipe off her sticky hand.</p><p>Jamie picked up another sushi roll and plopped in his mouth. As he chewed, he stared at Buffy thoughtfully before he swallowed and spoke.</p><p>“It looks like a vampire bit you.”</p><p>Buffy looked up and scanned Jamie’s face. She forced a fake smile.</p><p>“Yeah…” Buffy chuckled, “Kind of does, doesn’t it?” </p><p>Jamie smiled and stared at her.</p><p>Buffy picked up another item from the platter with her chopsticks.</p><p>“Okay, so, what’s this one?” she asked.</p><p>Jamie blinked, “You’ve never had a Gyoza?”</p><p>Buffy shook her head and the gyoza dropped from between her chopsticks and landed back on her plate. Buffy grabbed it again and dipped it in another sauce pot that Jamie pointed to.</p><p>Buffy took a bite and moaned.</p><p>“Oh, man! These are SO good. I think I found my favourite!”</p><p>Jamie chuckled, “Alright, not so fast. Try some other stuff before you decide.”</p><p>The two continued making eyes at one another as they ate.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike awoke in his dusty crypt. He lay upon the casket mulling over the dream he’d just experienced. He’d been chasing Harris. They were running through town. The moon was full and it was raining. His boots splashed in the water as he rushed after the mortal. </p><p>Spike watched Xander rushed around a corner and the vampire grew giddy as the thrill of the hunt flooded him with excitement. He fantasized about the moment he caught the mortal. Then, as he rounded the corner of the alley, he stopped short. </p><p>Drusilla stood before him, staring at him with wide childlike eyes. Spike's shock morphed into happiness. He was overjoyed to see her. He completely forgot he’d been chasing the human.</p><p>Drusilla stepped forward and reached out a hand between them but didn’t touch him. Spike stared at his Sire’s hand as she spoke openly about William’s homosexuality. </p><p>"I know you've been inside him," she said.</p><p>Spike's heart clenched as he stood watching her. </p><p>There was no way Drusilla could know what happened. It happened in another world. He opened his mouth to interrupt her, to say he didn’t want to talk about it. But Drusilla spoke over his silent protests. Her image became more and more opaque as she said, "I only want you to be happy William."</p><p>"I'll never be happy, Dru. Not without you." Spike said.</p><p>Drusilla stared into his eyes, smiling softly.</p><p>"I've done something, Luv," she said. </p><p>"What do you mean?" Spike asked, "What did you do, Dru?"</p><p>“I’ve created a path for you,” she said.</p><p>Spike watched as his Sire's ghostly hand raised. He turned away from Drusilla to look where she was pointing. He squinted to see a frightened Harris standing at the end of the dead-end alley.<br/> <br/>Spike turned back to Drusilla and blinked. He glanced around, but his Sire was gone. </p><p>He turned back towards the scared human at the end of the alley and fixed his predatory stare on him. His stomach growled and before he even thought about it he rushed the human. </p><p>Spike slammed the mortal up against the alley wall and buried his fangs into the juncture of his neck. He bit down hard into the human's throat. The glorious blood flowed into his mouth and Spike moaned as he swallowed and woke up. </p><p><br/>The vampire glanced around the dank crypt and sucked his teeth. He thought of the taste of Xander in his dream. He tasted just like the whelp’s blood in the other reality. The sweetest thing he’d ever tasted. Spike needed more of it. He knew the only way he’d get to taste it again was by killing Harris. He couldn’t wait until he let himself gorge. He’d drain the whelp dry of all that glorious blood. </p><p>Spike vowed to himself, as he lay there, that he would do it soon. He just had to make sure the time was right. He couldn’t implicate himself.</p><p>“Balls,” he sighed.</p><p>Why did he always wake up too early, now he had to sit around overthinking in his stupid crypt until night fell. With another sigh, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders, he heaved himself off the casket.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Drusilla regained consciousness and found herself laying on a cold wooden floor. Her body lay in a tangled tattered mess and she tilted her head to look around. She was able to make out vague shapes, in the darkness. </p><p>The room she occupied was large, windowless, and empty. The wooden floorboards she lay on were weathered from age and disuse. She swiveled her head around and took in the floor to ceiling, wall to wall, cage that ran across the center of the room behind her. The cage door hung open on its hinge. Within the cage was a built-in metal bench and Drusilla stared at the bench as she wondered why she wasn’t inside the cage. </p><p>She rolled to sit up.</p><p>Chain links clinked as they slithered around her and landed in her lap. Glancing down at the sound, Drusilla realized that she had metal manacles clasped around her biceps. Each cuff was attached to a couple yards of chain. Her eyes shifted further down her forearms to stop at her blood stained wrists. She stared down in a stupor. Why did Jamie take her hands?</p><p>After a long time, Drusilla blinked out of her daze and realized she was staring at her seeping wounds in hunger. Her stomach growled and it took all her willpower to not lift her arm and lap at the oozing blood. She turned her face to the heavens to gain control of herself.</p><p>After a moment, she lowered her eyes and scanned the length of chain attaching her to a rung in the floor. She forced herself to move and painfully pushed herself to standing. The chains rattled around her as she moved. </p><p>Drusilla maneuvered herself into the cage, grateful that the length of the chain allowed her to. She settled herself onto the metal bench and wrapped her arms around herself in a loose hug.</p><p>She reaffirmed to herself that she was still on the right path since no new visions had come up. She was exactly where she was supposed to be. All she had to do was persevere and make it to the end.</p><p>Staring off into the darkness, Drusilla waited for Jamie to return.</p><p>Intermittently, her mood swung from grit to grief. She was bereft without her hands. She missed them, and she didn’t know when, or how, she would ever get them back again. In the end, though, she knew this small sacrifice would be rewarded by the powers that be. It would all be worth it in the end. She had to have faith.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander stood at the stove cooking himself Kraft Dinner. He just returned home from work and was exhausted since he hadn’t slept much the night before. As he stirred the noodles into the boiling water, he turned the element down and set the wooden spoon across the top of the boiling pot. He smiled sadly as his mind dissociated and memories dragged him back in time to being a pre-teen.</p><p>He recalled his first-time making Kraft Dinner after school. His folks weren’t around, as usual, and he was talking on the phone with Jesse when it happened. The pot boiled over and water splashed and sizzled freaking him out. He’d yelled into the receiver as he jumped back. Then he ran around the kitchen like a chicken with it's head cut off as the pot continued to boil over. </p><p>Jesse laughed at him over the receiver and demanded to know what was happening.</p><p>Thankfully, Jesse knew how to cook – his parents cared to teach him such things – so he calmed Xander down and instructed him to pull the pot completely off the heat. Jesse told him to turn down the element before putting the pot back on. He also told him to put a wooden spoon across the top of the pot as a way to stop it from overflowing. </p><p>Xander followed his friends instructions as the two continued chatting.</p><p>While standing over the stove, waiting for his noodles to finish, Xander stood entranced watching the starch bubbles pop as they hit the wooden spoon. He blinked a couple times as he came out of his memories and realized his Kraft Dinner was probably done. </p><p>His mouth pulled to the side in a smile as he pulled the wooden spoon away from the top of the pot and drained the pasta. He’d used Jesse’s trick ever since learning it.</p><p>Xander tested a piece of macaroni and deemed it al dente. He strained the pasta over the sink and sucked on his bottom lip. Damn, he missed Jesse.</p><p>A thundercloud of sorrow enveloped Xander’s heart and mind as he mixed his orange cheese dust with some butter and milk in the pot. It always surprised him how heavy the grey cloud was that overtook him when he thought of his dead friend. </p><p>With a huge put-upon sigh, Xander carried the pot and spoon with him to the living room. He sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. He ate out of the pot as he lazily flicked through channels.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Drusilla sat propped up on the uncomfortable metal bench in the unlocked cage. She pressed her back and head against the wall behind her. Her legs were extended in front of her and her forearms were crossed underneath her breasts. Each wrist, pressed against each opposing hip, dripped an echo of tantalizing bloody drops to the floor.</p><p>The master vampiress sat as still as stone. She was lost within her thoughts. Drusilla ignored the sound of her own dripping blood. Instead, she tried to listen for the sounds on the air. She could hear birds chirping outside and the wind sweeping through the trees. </p><p>Drusilla sat silent and still, wondering when Jamie would come around for her again. He wasn’t in the house. He hadn’t been since she’d come back to consciousness. Drusilla knew that she wasn’t alone, though, since she could still hear Anya’s lone heartbeat across the expanse of the house. </p><p>Hours passed as she sat in her miserable solitude. </p><p>Day became night, she could tell, as the whistling birds stopped chirping. All sounds grew crisper as the humans settled down around town. Drusilla listened as a dusky rain begin. The sound of it washing away all other sounds of the outside world.</p><p>Petrichor filled her nostrils and Drusilla found herself assaulted by decades old nostalgia and an auditory illusion. She could hear a small child talk in indistinguishable sentences within her mind. A light cacophony of celebratory chatter surrounded her. A few piano notes sounded happy and sharp. She was thrown back into a memory of a specific English summer rain. The vampiress opened her eyes as the scent brought her back to a time when she was human. </p><p>She didn’t know how long she sat there. Her mental state, in solitary confinement, was turning against her. She didn’t realize she’d bitten into her lower lip, siphoning her own blood like an ouroboros, until she heard the front door open. A new heartbeat entered the house and Drusilla licked her lips and opened her eyes.</p><p>Jamie’s scent permeated the house. She heard his shoes click against the hardwood as he approached. The door to her room swung open and an abundance of light spilled in. </p><p>Drusilla turned her face to shield her eyes from the assault. She squinted to look at Jamie. He had a self-satisfied grin across his face. He entered the room and blocked the light. </p><p>Drusilla watched Jamie stepped up to the cage. He reached for the door to swing it closed. Then he leaned against it. Drusilla kept herself still as Jamie stared at her. He had a smile on his face. He seemed unlikely to take more appendages.</p><p>“Would you like to hear where we are in the plan, my pet?” Jamie asked.</p><p>Drusilla stared at Jamie with beady eyes and nodded.</p><p>He  began to pace his half of the room as he spoke. He waved his hands in the air as he spoke with enthusiasm and Drusilla tried to keep focused and pay attention. She couldn’t concentrate. She was starving. The sound of Jamie’s blood gushing through his body was all she could hear.</p><p>Drusilla squeezed her eyes shut and tried to stay focused. She clenched her teeth and recalled their previous conversation regarding the Masskara curse. Jamie needed to obtain three witch’s tongues so Drusilla could preform a ritual for him.</p><p> “You’ve only obtained the one tongue so far?” Drusilla said.</p><p>Jamie shrugged, “I've got two now. And I feel I’m close to getting the next one. It won’t be long till the ritual.”</p><p>Drusilla stared at Jamie as he sauntered back and forth. He carded his fingers through his long hair and glanced at her within the cage. He stopped pacing in front of her and stared at her.</p><p>“I’ll need you to do the spell then,” he said.</p><p>“What about my hands?” Drusilla said.</p><p>Jamie tilted his head as he glanced down at her severed wrists.</p><p>“I'm working on your new hands, as we speak,” he said.</p><p>Drusilla nodded, “I'll need blood.”</p><p>Jamie turned and started walking towards the door, “I’m working on that too.”</p><p>Jamie exited the room and closed the door behind him. </p><p>Drusilla sat in her dark cell and closed her eyes with a sigh. A vision of the future took over her sight. Drusilla saw a momentary flash of the blond vampire slayer’s face. She was drowning. </p><p>Drusilla’s eyes opened and she looked around her cell. She felt like crying. Did this new vision mean the visions were changing? Did she lose her hands for nothing? Was all this for nothing?</p><p>Drusilla saw another flash of a vision. This time, she saw herself standing over the blond slayer. </p><p>The vision wisped from her mind like smoke in a windstorm and Drusilla blinked opened her eyes. She didn’t understand. What did the blond Slayer have to do with anything? </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Hypnagogic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Buffy stared at her friends, full of nerves. She brushed invisible lint from her bright pink dress as she stood in the middle of the living room of her mother's house. She looked at Willow, Tara, and Xander who sat on the sofa with big excited eyes.</p><p>"You guys,” she said, “You really don't need to be here for this. Giles is waiting for you.”  </p><p>"But how else are we going to meet your new mystery man?" Xander said.</p><p>Buffy scowled at him. Traitor, she thought. She’d told Xander earlier, about her new boyfriend.</p><p>"Yeah,” Willow said, “It's like you don't want us to meet him,"  </p><p>Buffy gave Willow puppy dog eyes, "Hey... You know that’s not true, Wills,"</p><p>There was a knock on the front door and Buffy straightened her dress. Willow gave her a thumbs up and Buffy twirled with a grin before going to answer the door.  </p><p>Buffy's new boyfriend, 'Mr. tall dark and good-looking' entered the house with a bright white smile. He was lanky, like Riley had been, but had a svelte physique. Jamie had dark skin, dark hair, and bright blue eyes.</p><p>Willow stood and offered Jamie a handshake. She sat back down next to Tara who gave Jamie a shy wave. Xander got up and introduced himself to Jamie with a firm handshake. Then the two men started talking about the movie playing at the theatre tonight.</p><p>Buffy interrupted them, “We should get going,"</p><p>She grabbed her purse from the coffee table, smiled at her friends and sidled up to next to Jamie. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the front door. She gave her friends a look over her shoulder and said, "Good night!"</p><p>Jamie grinned and waved as he was pulled from the room.</p><p>“Have a good night!” Willow said.</p><p>“Don’t have too much fun!” Xander called.</p><p>When they heard the door shut, Willow and Tara shared a look.  </p><p>Xander stared at the two witches, "Woah, what's that look mean? I want in on the look."</p><p>Pensive, Willow pulled her mouth to one side.  </p><p>“It could be nothing,” she said. “I just… well... I got bad vibes from him."</p><p>"Me too," Tara said.</p><p>"Dammit," Xander said, "I thought he was normal! He's supposed to be normal!"</p><p>Xander moved to stand. He began to pace the Summer's living room, agitated.  </p><p>"Okay, so we do a little recon on this Jamie," he said.</p><p>"Buffy's the Slayer,” Willow said, “She can take care of herself.”</p><p>Xander stopped pacing and stared at Willow, “But... shouldn’t we at least make sure Jamie isn’t up to something?”  </p><p>“We will,” Willow said, “But the bad vibes I felt could be anything. He could be having a bad day. Or be on drugs... I don't know. His aura just feels weird."</p><p>Xander rubbed the back of his neck and watched Willow and Tara each collect their respective book bags.</p><p>"Are we heading over to Giles’ place now?" he asked.</p><p>Willow nodded, “Yeah. We should hurry so he doesn’t worry. We’re already late.”</p><p>Tara stood up, pulling her book bag over her shoulder, “Actually, I-uh, have that appointment.”</p><p>“Oh, right,” Willow said, “I’ll see you back at the dorms then.”</p><p>The two women smiled and shared a quick kiss before clasping their hands and heading out of the house.  </p><p>Xander watched the two of them, while he followed behind them. He pulled the door closed behind himself and hopped down the steps as the girls made their way down the front path. Once they hit the sidewalk, the two witches veered away from one another. Their clasped hands held together until their arms reached full lateral extension. He watched the girls uncouple and walk in opposite directions.</p><p>Envious, Xander fell into step with Willow and the two of them walked side by side towards Giles’s condo.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>"Ouch!"</p><p>Buffy back stepped and held her arm out in front of herself to avoid getting blood on her dress. She clenched her hand into a fist as she glared at the jagged metal on the handrail in scorn.  </p><p>Jamie passed her a handkerchief from his pocket. His face was a mask of concern.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>Buffy smiled at him, "It's just a scratch."</p><p>While she tied the faux bandage around her palm, Jamie caught a split-second peek of Buffy's skin closing before his eyes. He blinked. Did her skin just heal itself? Jamie said nothing of his thoughts as they continued their way into the movie theater.  </p><p>"You sure you’re alright?" Jamie asked again, once they were situated in their seats.</p><p>"Oh, yeah,” Buffy said.  </p><p>She moved to hold his hand with her non wounded hand. They smiled at one another and Buffy leaned in to initiate a kiss.</p><p>The previews started up and Buffy pulled back and opened her licorice. Jamie reached for his popcorn and the two of them descended into silence to consume the movie.</p><p>Throughout the film, Jamie replayed the moment over and over in his mind of Buffy cutting herself. He’d seen her hand heal before his eyes and he’d never seen anything like it before. He knew Drusilla healed quickly, but the vampire didn’t heal that quick. Jamie tried to recall the last time he and Buffy met up during the daytime. He wondered what sort of entity Buffy was. </p><p>He turned to look at Buffy and she returned the look with a smile. Her green eyes shone bright before she turned back to watch the big screen.  </p><p>Through out the entirety of the movie, all Jamie could think about was breaking Buffy’s legs. If she had super healing, he could break her bones daily. He was giddy with the prospects. If asked about the movie, he wouldn’t be able to explain what he’d watched.  </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Willow and Xander arrived at Giles’s place to find him in the kitchen preparing a pot of tea.  </p><p>Xander scanned the table littered with books for their research party and worked at clearing away a spot to set down his recently procured box of donuts.</p><p>Giles welcomed the two of them in and set them up with teacups. Everyone snagged a donut and a cup of tea before situating themselves in their preferred spots to get comfy. They chatted idly, as they ate.</p><p>When the door banged open and hit the wall, everyone jumped at once and turned to stare at the door.</p><p>Xander looked down at the hot tea staining his lap and frowned. He muttered to himself as he grabbed a napkin to dab his pants.</p><p>Giles glanced at Xander before standing up to glare at the vampire standing in his doorway, "Won't you knock?"</p><p>Spike's jovial smirk disappeared. He scowled at the occupants of the living room. Something familiar tickled his senses. He looked around as he sniffed the air. He squinted at the occupants in the room as he scented them. Then he turned and glanced around at the courtyard behind him before turning back to the condo again, confused. He could smell faint traces of the unmistakable scent of Drusilla. Spike would never forget the smell of his Sire. It was ingrained into his being. He wondered why he smelled her here of all places? He couldn't fathom why he’d be able to smell Drusilla here when he’d scoured Sunnydale nightly for her with no such luck.</p><p>Ignorant to the vampire’s inner turmoil, the ex-watcher approached the open door, "What do you want, Spike?"</p><p>Willow took a bite of her cream filled long john and a blob of Bavarian cream oozed out. She caught the dollop and covertly licked her palm so Giles wouldn’t see.</p><p>Xander watched Giles move towards the door, as he pressed a napkin to the crotch of his pants.</p><p>The vampire scanned the condo again and noted the Slayer missing.  </p><p>"Nuthin', m'bored." Spike said.  </p><p>"You know,” Xander said, “You’d blend in better if your gut stains weren't showing."  </p><p>The vampire shot a glare at the whelp but then ignored him.</p><p>"Actually, Wotcher,” Spike said, “I'm looking for a book on plants... Magical, obviously."</p><p>Giles sighed, "…Obviously."</p><p>The ex-watcher stared at the vampire. Spike stared back. After a beat, Giles sighed in defeat and took off his glasses to clean them on his shirt.</p><p>“Fine… Come in, Spike."</p><p>Spike grinned as he stepped one black boot over the threshold and then the other.  </p><p>Giles turned and stuffed his glasses onto his face and waved Spike to follow him. The two of them busied themselves looking among the shelves for a magical herb book.  </p><p>Xander and Willow shared a look as they each grabbed a dusty tomb to crack open.  </p><p>Giles eventually rejoined them to do research, while Spike slumped down off to the side to flip through his own book.  </p><p>The vampire scanned the pages as he side-eyed the group. He backtracked a few pages when he found the heading titled 'Stelle'. He glanced at it, read a few lines, and then closed the book. When no one was looking, he slid it into his coat.  </p><p>Slight of hand unseen, Spike leaned forward on his forearms and squinted as he watched the quiet little research crew. Giles nibbled on the end of his pen as he read. Willow and Xander, heads both down while they read, each reached out for the last donut at the same time. They both looked up and grinned at one another.</p><p>"Eh, you can have it, " Xander said, "I gotta to lose a few hundred twinkies, as it is."  </p><p>Willow accepted the donut and Xander’s smile.</p><p>Spike snorted as he stood, “Too true! Maybe then yer bird wouldn't have left ya."</p><p>Xander's smile evaporated in an instant and he spun in his chair to glare at the vampire.</p><p>“That’s not why she left!” Xander said.</p><p>"Hey!” Willow said, “Don't be an ass!"</p><p>"Whot?” Spike said, acting innocent.</p><p>The vampire smiled at the witch, “Just stating the truth, really. He’s getting a bit portly around the middle."  </p><p>"Why are you even here again?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike shrugged and moved towards the door, “Bout to ask myself the same thing.”</p><p>Xander glared at the vampire’s back as he left.  </p><p>Spike turned around as he crossed the threshold and smirked while pulling the door shut. He was happy to see Xander glaring at him furiously. The vampire headed out into the night with a renewed pep in his step. That was how Harris was supposed to look at him. Furious or terrified... Not like he had in that other world.</p><p>Spike exited the courtyard and walked towards his crypt. As much as he wanted to hunt and feed, there was no way he could exert himself with his recent injury. He decided to stop by Willie's for some blood.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander turned back to his book as his eyebrows drew together in contemplation. What the hell was Spike’s problem? Why was the vampire such a dick to him lately? More often than usual, Xander found himself the demon's primary target. Neither Buffy, Giles or Willow had received any insults in a while. Xander wondered at the change. He didn't understand why he found himself the sole target of the vampire's venomous glare and sharp tongue. One would think the vampire would hate the Vampire Slayer more then the trusty sidekick. Spike was a supreme prick any time he was around, sure, but Xander felt the increased focus. Something changed. The vampire had changed. Spike stared at him longer then normal now and it creeped him out.</p><p>A speck on the floor drew his eye and Xander glanced over to the area the vampire had been sitting. He saw a scrap of paper on the ground and then noticed a distinct lack of the magical herb book.  </p><p>Argh! That thieving bastard! Xander thought.</p><p>He wondered if the whole visit, the taunt and growl production (aimed primarily at him, of course), was a diversion to get the book out unseen.</p><p>Xander stood up and crossed the room. He stooped to picked up the small square of paper that he assumed Spike dropped and then continued on his way to the washroom. He enclosed himself in the toilet and stood before the vanity to open it up. He squinted as he read the neat cursive writing. It was a poem.</p><p>Xander stared at the poem and read it again and again as he tried to analyze it. He stood there rebuking himself for sleeping through poetry analysis in English class. He guessed it was about Drusilla.  </p><p>Xander moved to throw the poem in the trashcan and paused. He couldn't bring himself to trash it. He thought it sort of a nice poem, even if an asshole wrote it. Xander stuffed the poem into his pocket and decided to give it back to Spike when he next saw him.  </p><p>Xander relieved his bladder and rejoined his friends. After a few hours of serious studying, he grew bored and rubbed his tired eyes. He reached into his pocket for a stick of gum and inadvertently pulled out the poem. He placed the paper in the crease of his book while unwrapping the gum. He popped the minty stick into his mouth and then started to chew it as he scanned the cursive writing again.  </p><p>Xander experienced a moment of envy regarding the two vampires. He could never hope to experience long-term love like they’d had. His longest relationship was with Anya, which was now over. It lasted just over a year. Spike and Drusilla, on the other hand, spent over a century together. But humans just didn't live that long.</p><p>Xander mourned his own love life as he compared himself to the two vampires. Even if Drusilla was crazy and hard to please, Xander imagined it must have been nice for Spike. He couldn't imagine being loyal and dedicated to someone for over of a century. Then again, even that long term love affair ended. Drusilla ran off with a chaos demon and Spike got chipped by the initiative.</p><p>Xander sat a moment in wonderment, thinking about how much dedication that would take to be with only one person, through thick and thin, for two centuries. Xander couldn’t imagine the millions of memories the two must have made together. Good and bad.</p><p>He thought of his own relationship history and snorted to himself. He found it hard enough to placate Anya for less than two years. Twenty years would be hard, sure; but two hundred would be unthinkable.</p><p>Xander stared at the poem laying in his book. He was introspective. He wondered how a human love affair like his and Anya's could ever compare to something like Spike and Dru's. Xander wondered if Spike hurt more then he did because he loved Drusilla for longer. Was the time together proportionate to how much it hurt afterwards?</p><p>Xander pursed his lips as he stared at the poem. His first thought, once again, was to toss it out; but he wondered if he could somehow score points with Spike if he returned it. Maybe a slight reprieve from the new hostility.  </p><p>He crumpled the paper up and stuffed it back into his pocket. He tried to get back into research mode but the words swam on the page before him. He took a minute to look around the room and let his eyes adjust. After a few moments his eyes and brain realigned and he continued researching.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike left the Watcher’s house and head over to Willie's. After that he did a habitual hunt for Drusilla. Despite searching nightly for her, he never found her. He was certain she was in town, he could often smell her, but he had no idea where she was hiding. It was as if she was invisible.  </p><p>Spike walked passed a vampire that smelled like his Sire and he turned on reflex and grabbed him. He gripped the vamp's jacket and threw him up against a nearby wall.</p><p>“Where’s Drusilla?” Spike said, getting in the other vampire’s face.</p><p>“I have no idea who you’re talking about,”</p><p>Spike growled and his face changed. He reached out and stabbed his finger into the vampire’s eye.  </p><p>“Where is she?” Spike said.</p><p>The vampire squealed like a stuck pig and rushed to speak, “I- I dunno... She’s at the club! She’s gotta be at the blue club!”</p><p>“Which club?” Spike said.</p><p>“I-I dunno what it’s called, man,”</p><p>Spike stabbed his finger into the vampire’s other eye socket and held on to the vampire's head as it thrashed and yelled in agony.</p><p>“The blue club,” the vampire yelled, “I dunno what it’s called. It’s blue. She’s gotta be there! That’s all I know!”</p><p>Spike withdrew his fingers and wiped them on his jeans.</p><p>The now blind vampire grabbed his face, “You’re a fucking bastard, man. You know how long it’s gonna take to regrow my eyes?”</p><p>“Does it look like I care?” Spike said, “Where’s the blue club?”</p><p>“I dunno,”</p><p>“Who owns it?”</p><p>The vampire shook against the wall as he blindly stared at Spike.</p><p>“I dunno, man. The boss is a real piece of work... If I tell you anything else, he’ll kill me.”</p><p>Spike squinted, “I’m gonna kill you anyway.”</p><p>The vampire grew a temporary backbone, “You kill me and there will be hundreds more after you.”</p><p>Spike visibly weighed his options on each hand and shrugged and pulled out a stake. He stabbed it into the vampire’s heart and the blind vampire clutched for the wood in his chest as he shattered to ash.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Jamie stared down at Drusilla. She sat on the metal chair in the cage.  </p><p>“What do you know about a vampire named Spike?” he said.</p><p>Drusilla looked up into Jamie’s eyes, “What about him?”</p><p>Jamie shrugged, “Looks like he’s causing trouble around town.”</p><p>Drusilla nodded, “Yes, he tends to do that.”</p><p>“So... you do know him?”</p><p>Drusilla nodded.</p><p>“How does he know Buffy?” Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla shrugged, “I’ve no clue.”</p><p>Jamie stared at Drusilla.</p><p>“Do I need to interrogate you for answers, Dru?”</p><p>Drusilla shook her head, “No, Jamie. I’ll tell you everything I know.”</p><p>Jamie smiled, “Good. Now tell me about William.”</p><p>Drusilla swallowed and stared at Jamie.  </p><p>She realized, in that moment, that Jamie didn’t know William and Spike were the same person. Deciding to play into it, Drusilla separated the whole into halves. She separated William and Spike, in her mind, just as she did Angel and Angelus.</p><p>“William is my Childe,” she said, “I created him two centuries ago.”</p><p>“Where is he?” Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla shrugged, “I don’t know.”</p><p>“But he’s in town?”</p><p>Drusilla nodded, “Yes... for now.”</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jamie said.</p><p>“He’s leaving soon...”</p><p>Drusilla knew it to be true. She’d had a dream of Spike going to visit Angel. She knew it would happen soon.</p><p>“Leaving town?” Jamie said.</p><p>“Yes,”</p><p>“Good,”</p><p>Drusilla kept still.</p><p>“What do you know about Buffy?” Jamie said.</p><p>Drusilla licked her lips, “She’s a slayer.”</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“She hunts vampires and slays them,”</p><p>Jamie grew introspective and stared at the vampire. Drusilla held still.</p><p>“Stay put,” Jamie said, “I’m working on a spell to reanimate your hands,”</p><p>He turned and walked out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike banged open the door to his crypt and sagged against it once it shut. He pulled open his jacket and stared down at his blood soaked torso. Fresh blood seeped through his black t-shirt.</p><p>He’d torn himself open, while interrogating the vampire that smelled of Dru, and didn’t at the time notice. It hadn’t helped that he'd stumbled into a single zombie on his way home. For some reason, that fight occupied him longer then it should have. Did he zone out?</p><p>Spike groaned as he tore his shirt down the center and inspected the gauze taped to him. It was blood soaked. Pushing himself off the door, he shrugged off his leather duster and tattered shirt from his shoulders. He crossed to the casket and shoved the stone slab half off. He watched his blood drip down onto the old bones within as he reached in to pull out the bag Harris left him with the other night. Spike saw he still had a few gauze pads and a ball of wound up gauze. He shoved the slab back into place and leaned back against the casket to peel the sticky red bandages off. The vampire inspected the edge of the wound with a tentative finger and figured it was healing as well as it could be. He sucked on his sticky finger to clean it off.</p><p>Removing the rest of the bloody gauze, he tossed them to the ground and pressed fresh gauze squares to his skin. He tried to wrap the gauze around himself to hold them in place and sucked in a useless breath as he tore himself further while twisting. Rivets of blood rolled down his pale abdomen and into the waistband of his jeans and Spike growled in frustration. He dropped the gauze onto the casket as he spied the herbology book peeking out of his coat on the floor. He wandered over to it to pick it up. The vampire watched his blood drip onto the floor as he bent down.  </p><p>He moved back to the casket and lay down upon it before opening the book. He paged through the old pages and stopped when he saw the Stelle header.  </p><p>Spike read about how to prune and propagate the Stelle, as well as prime growing conditions. He read the section on magical properties, where the author droned on and on that he’d had the most metaphysical transformation on the substance having dried it, cured it, and made it into a tea. Spike found it interesting to note that the Stelle produced hallucinations when taken this way. Such hallucinations allegedly filled the drinker with divination and personal wisdom.</p><p>When finished reading the three pages written about the plant, Spike noticed an amendment. It was in faint red ink on the bottom of the page. The sentence was smudged and unreadable.  </p><p>"A vampire can be greatly harmed by proximity to the plant. Leaving it..."  </p><p>Spike snorted. Of course, it was specifically about vampires. He lifted the book and squinted. The rest of the sentence was illegible. It looked as if the page had been thumbed through so many times the ink was gone. He stared at the book wondering what could be so dangerous about a plant.  </p><p>A heartbeat sounded around the cemetery gates and the vampire ignored it until he realized the human's footsteps were heading towards him. Spike figured he'd find out what was so dangerous about the Stelle later and he dropped the book behind him so that the stone casket hide it. The book slapped against the floor at the same time as a knock sounded on the crypt door.</p><p>Spike scented the air and struggled to sit up as he smelled Xander on the other side of his door. No, not Xander. He reminded himself. This was Harris. This was not the same human from the other reality. What was Harris doing here?  </p><p>Spike swung his legs over the edge of the stone casket and affected a bored expression as he worked to press the forgotten gauze against his torso.</p><p>Xander pushed the crypt door open and stopped on the top step.</p><p>"Uh, hey," he said.</p><p>Spike squinted at the human standing in his doorway.  </p><p>"Wot?"</p><p>"You dropped this when you stole the book," Xander said.</p><p>He pulled the crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and held it up to show Spike.  </p><p>Spike didn't react, though he recognized the poem. He kept his eyes on the human.</p><p>Xander looked down at the river of blood leaking down Spike's stomach. He lowered his arm and stepped down further into the crypt. He left the heavy metal door open behind him and the moonlight streamed in, illuminating him.  </p><p>A bag of Xander’s own blood swung in his back pocket and bumped against the back of his thigh as he moved. He was hoping to use the blood and poem as peace offerings.</p><p>He steeled his nerves as he stepped closer.  </p><p>"Why're you here?" Spike said.</p><p>"I already told you," Xander said.</p><p>The human held up the poem again and then set it down on the stone slab as he approached.</p><p>Spike glanced down at the poem and then back up at the human with curious eyes.</p><p>Xander inspected Spike's torso and the discarded gauze on the stone slab.</p><p>The vampire watched the mortal's eyes move over his chest and then flick back to his face. He chortled, nervously, "Right. Thanks. Run along."</p><p>"I, uh, actually came to, um, well…” Xander floundered, standing face to face with the vampire.  </p><p>He cleared his throat and tried again, “I, well, I was hoping for a ceasefire. Between us, I mean... the excessive vitriol...I came to ask you to cool it on the friendly fire. We've got a so much on our plate right now what with the new blue demon, zombies, flesh eaters, the dead magic shop warlocks... Oh, and not to mention possible trouble with Buffy's new boyfriend who's so perfectly normal that he has to be abnormal."</p><p>Xander bit his lip to stop his babble. </p><p>Spike stared at Xander thru half lidded eyes. The beginnings of a smirk pulled on the side of the face. He shrugged, "Okay,"</p><p>"Okay?" Xander said, shocked, "Just like that?"</p><p>"Since you asked so nicely," the vampire said.</p><p>Xander stared at Spike a moment and shifted. As he did so, he remembered the bloody bribe as it bumped into the back of his thigh. He licked his lips.</p><p>"Here," Xander said, “Let me...”</p><p>He moved closer to the vampire and reached out for Spike's hand holding the square pad to his chest. He stood there waiting until Spike let go of the bandage.</p><p>The vampire lowered his hands and wrapped them around the stone slab to resist touching the human. He was surprised to find himself filled with duality. Half of him didn’t want the human to touch him, as if he was a parasite and disgusting. The other half of him didn’t want to touch Harris, for fear of pulling the human close and mauling him with affection.</p><p>Spike sucked in a shallow breath to calm himself as the human’s warm fingertips grazed his skin.</p><p>Xander picked up the two gauze pads from the slab. He adjusted the lone pad on Spike’s chest and watched as more blood dribbled down the vampire's pale white stomach. He added the other two pads to staunch the blood.</p><p>"You don’t look so hot, " Xander said.</p><p>Spike raised an eyebrow, to say “Really?” and chuckled.</p><p>Xander grimaced as he heard the vampire's wound emit a noise. He pressed the gauze down over the hole.</p><p>"Ew. Stop breathing,” Xander said, “Here, lemme…"  </p><p>Xander adjusted the gauze pieces against the vampire as he shifted closer. He reached around Spike to grab the gauze roll that lay nearby and unconsciously positioned his hips between the vampire’s spread knees as he began to wrap gauze around the vampire.</p><p>Spike sat frozen, watching the mortal work. His nostrils flared. The human was so close. All he could smell was Harris. He sat as still as a statue as the mortal reached his arms around him to bind him up. Spike felt and heard the stone in his hands begin to crack and he loosened his grip and clenched his teeth instead.</p><p>Xander bandaged the vampire, ignorant to Spike's inner turmoil. He was mentally recalling the other night when he'd had his hands physically inside the vampire. He'd handled yards of Spike's slippery intestines while frantically shoving them back inside the vampire's gaping torso. This was nothing, in comparison.</p><p>Spike kept his predatory blue eyes on the human while he worked. He was brimming with impulses to kiss the mortal. Harris was much too close. Spike tried to distract himself from the mirage of Harris caring about him by speculating random thoughts aloud as he stared at the stubble on the nearby face.</p><p>"You think these two problems started about the same time?” Spike said, “The flesh eater and the Zombies?"</p><p>Xander paused in his ministrations, looking up. He caught the vampire’s gaze and nodded.</p><p>Spike continued talking while staring into the human's brown eyes.</p><p>"What if you're not hunting multiple baddies? What if it's just one big bad?" Spike said, "Isn't it suspicious that zombies start to litter the town with bloody bits at the exact same time that a flesh eater appears to clean them up?"</p><p>"Isn't that like the demonic food chain? A flesh eater shows up for zombie scraps," Xander said, "...like a hyena following a lion?"  </p><p>Spike watched curiously as Xander's eyes dilated when he said the word ‘hyena’. The vampire took a breath and closed his eyes. He recalled seeing Xander in the other reality look at him just like that. Xander’s eyes dilated completely black, exactly like that, while they’d fucked. Spike felt a pang in his chest that was more cerebral than physical. He wanted to go back. He wanted to see that look directed at him again. Spike took another deep breath as he shut down his tiny fantasy of the other reality. He blinked as he stared at Harris. This wasn’t the same person, he had to remember that.</p><p>Xander worked on winding the last of the gauze around Spike’s torso.</p><p>"Yeah, but not that fast," Spike said, "They would have to hear of zombies first, then they’d come here. But, like you said, the zombies and flesh eater both seemed to start up at the same time."</p><p>"So, you’re saying that someone created both of them?" Harris said.</p><p>"Yeah," Spike shrugged, "It's too clean. I'm thinking some type of yin yang demon."</p><p>Spike watched Xander's forehead scrunch in thought.  </p><p>"Maybe," Xander said.</p><p>He looked up at Spike and realized how close he was to the vampire. Xander's face lit up as he realized his pelvis was situated between the vampire's thighs. He cleared his throat and kept his eyes on task as he finished tucking the last of the gauze in on itself.</p><p>Spike was quiet as he watched Xander finish. He watched fascinated as the human blushed, bleeding pink across his cheeks and down his neck. Spike lifted his hand to reach out and caress that tantalizing throat but stopped himself. Instead he moved his hand to inspect his newly bandaged torso.</p><p>"Thanks," Spike said.</p><p>Xander nodded and took a step back. He stopped when he felt the blood packet swing in his back pocket.</p><p>"Oh, here. I forgot..." he said.</p><p>Xander produced the blood bag and passed it over.</p><p>Spike accepted the warm bag in confusion and squished it in his hand. He could smell the blood through the bag and knew without a doubt that it was the human's own. Spike squinted at the mortal, confused. Why would Harris donate his own blood?</p><p>He stared at Xander, silent and curious. Light from the full moon shone over the brunette through the open crypt door making his hair shiny.</p><p>Xander felt silly as Spike's piercing blue eyes watched him like a hawk. He felt a bit like prey and was once again thankful for the chip.  </p><p>Xander’s eye's widened in surprise as Spike leaned in close to him and closed his eyes. Xander stood in shock wondering why Spike's was getting closer and then the vampire was pressing his cold lips against his.</p><p>Xander pulled his head back, eyes blinking repeatedly. He put his hands up in the air between them and stared at Spike with wide eyes as he started to back up.</p><p>"Wha--what in tarnation?!" Xander said.</p><p>Spike licked his bottom lip as he watched Xander's face fill with panic. The human opened his mouth to say something else, but no words came out. Instead, Xander gestured erratically with his hands.</p><p>Spike fought a smirk from overtaking his lips as he watched the disturbed human.</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire with wide brown eyes. He looked constipated with the inability to spit out his thoughts. Then he spun around and ran out the open crypt door.  </p><p>Spike felt a smile broach his lips as he watched the mortal leave. He stared at the open crypt door and his eyes strayed to the moonlit patch on the stone floor.  </p><p>He stared at the light for some time, wondering what propelled him to kiss Harris. He knew which reality he was in. He knew this Harris was nothing like the other. He just felt lonely and he desperately wished that he could have what he'd found when he’d crossed realities. He wanted this human to want him like the other human did. Spike didn't want Harris to be his enemy anymore.</p><p>He drank Xander's blood packet after a long debate with himself on whether it was a good idea for his new obsession or not. He surmised correctly. It did indeed make him more miserable.</p><p>After a while, Spike forced himself to get up and shut the door. As he did so, he decided to leave the crypt.  </p><p>The vampire wandered through town, grateful for the human's donation as it accelerated his healing.</p><p>It didn’t take long before he found himself standing before the tiny Stelle plant in the foyer of the burned-out house. The plant appeared to be a dried-out husk so Spike gave it some water from the kitchen tap. He then left the burned out house and spent the night wandering the town restlessly.</p><p>Throughout it all, he was unable to turn off his mind from thinking about how much it ached being in this reality. He couldn't forget his taste of the other world. The world where Xander knew who and what he was and loved him regardless. Even after Spike revealed he was from another dimension, Xander was so committed to his "Master" that even a stand-in counted.</p><p>Spike came back to himself when he reentered the old house again. He stood before the Stelle in the foyer and played through his memories of having sex with Xander in the alternate world. He knew that he would never experience those feelings again. He was back in his own reality and he was a realist. He knew his relationship with Harris. And Harris was nothing like Xander. He could never love him.</p><p>If the whelp’s reaction to the kiss earlier was anything to go by, Spike didn’t have a shot in hell.</p><p>He stood there silent and still for some time, then when the vampire moved, he decided he needed a drink. He shook himself of his melancholy and headed over to Willie's.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander tossed and turned, punching his pillow in anger as he tried to catch a few hours of sleep. He couldn't turn his mind off. Every time he got close to sleep, he'd wake up from a hypnogogic jerk.  </p><p>Often, he'd wake accompanied by fear, and a feeling of embarrassment. Sometimes, though, he jolted awake from this all consuming feeling that he was in the center of a circle of people who were all pointing and laughing at him because Spike told them they'd kissed each other.  </p><p>Over and over, Xander would reach the cusp of sleep, and then he’d wake up with a jolt. He'd calm his mind enough to fall back asleep, and just as soon as he slipped into sleep the cycle would repeat.  </p><p>All Xander wanted was sleep. He agonized, lying awake all night, why did Spike have to kiss him?</p><p>When the phone rang shrilly, before midnight, Xander was grateful to climb from his bed to answer it.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander rushed through the Sunnydale cemetery as a shortcut to get home as fast as he could. He'd been called in to cover a graveyard shift at the double meat palace and he'd just finished and was exhausted. He just wanted to get home in one piece and climb into bed to pass out.</p><p>He was running in the dark, so it didn't surprise him when he tripped. His shirt sleeve snagged on a tree as he fell. He heard his shirt rip, as pain tore up his arm.  </p><p>He landed with an "oomph" on top of something squishy. Xander pushed himself up to see what he'd tripped over, and blinked down at Spike with surprise.  </p><p>Face to face, laying on top of the prone vampire, Xander gulped. He stared at the bleached menace. This was the first time he'd seen him since the kiss. The kiss that shouldn't have happened.  </p><p>Xander panicked as he scuttled to stand. He took a deep breath as he righted his book bag and tried to figure out how to deal with the situation. He stared at the vampire sprawled out on the ground.</p><p>"Hey. The sun's almost up,” Xander said, “Are you drunk?"  </p><p>Xander kicked out at Spike’s boot when he didn’t answer.</p><p>"Just let me die," Spike said.</p><p>"Oh, shut up," Xander said.</p><p>He reached out and grabbed the vampire's arms and pulled him to sitting.  </p><p>Spike fell back to the ground when he let go, and Xander sighed and looked around.  </p><p>Spike’s crypt was too far away and the sky was getting light. There wasn’t enough time to drag the vampire across the cemetery.</p><p>Xander moved to the closest mausoleum and checked the door. It opened and he looked around inside. It was a small, cramped cube but it would do. He turned back to Spike and glanced at the sky. He moved back over to the vampire and dragged him by his arms inside the small mausoleum. It was a squeeze to fit them both inside.  </p><p>He propped Spike up against the wall and took a step back while he regarded him. The vampire pulled his knees to his chest and pressed his eye sockets against them.  </p><p>Xander realized then that Spike was oddly quiet. He knew Spike was depressed. He and Willow had stopped Spike from killing himself before, but apparently, the vampire’s joy at being able to hurt demons was short lived. Xander didn't know that it was still so bad for the vampire. He guessed he just hoped that Spike had gotten over his suicidal tendencies so that he didn’t have to worry about it anymore.</p><p>Xander didn't know what to do or say so he left the crypt without saying anything. He just wanted to go home and get some sleep.  </p><p>The sun rose in the time it took Xander to stash the vampire. He shut the crypt door and finished walking home. As the streetlights turned off, Xander yawned and shook his head to try to dislodge his muddled thoughts. He couldn't lie to himself. He had to admit that he’d noticed Spike acting strange lately.  </p><p>While the vampire was the same as always, prone to running into fights and always eager for violence, now he seemed like his heart wasn't in it. Spike fought, but he no longer fought with a lust for living.  </p><p>And Xander had noticed. This was the second time now that he’d stumbled upon the vampire trying to kill himself with the sun.</p><p>Xander looked up and enjoyed the warmth of the morning rays as they peaked over the horizon and washed over him. He stood on the edge of his parent's property basking in the warm sun. He listened to the birds chirping for a bit before he moved across the lawn. He stepped onto the front porch and stuck his key in the lock. Once inside, he made his way down to the basement as quiet as he could. He didn’t want to disturb his parents.</p><p>He wondered, as he took off his clothes and turned down the bed, if having a death wish was the vampire’s reason for kissing him. Had Spike been trying to provoke a reaction from him? Did Spike want him to stake him?</p><p>Xander thought it was a stupid plan, if so, because he’d obviously reacted the wrong way. Xander hadn’t exactly entertained the thought, but his first thought wasn’t to attack the vampire either.  </p><p>Xander crawled into his bed and laid down. He squirmed around trying to get comfortable and then once he settled, he immediately fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander looked around at the dark streets. Spike was walking him home after another successful patrol. They'd cleared a nest of zombies.</p><p>Xander glanced at Spike and then looked away.</p><p>Now that he knew that the vampire was still suicidal, Xander noticed Spike's madness night by night. The vampire's depression was visibly apparent but no one else seemed to notice it but him.</p><p>Spike would join them to patrol for zombies, which should be suspect itself, but the gang liked having the extra help. It seemed only Xander noticed how much Spike wasn’t helping. He wasn't giving his all. Spike wasn't gleefully smashing heads, like he usually did.  </p><p>Instead, the vampire was trading blows. He would let the zombies get in hits that were avoidable. Xander saw, and knew, that the vampire was faster than he was portraying.</p><p>Tonight, Xander watched Spike fight. During which he realized that he knew the vampire better then he thought he did. He'd hung around the vampire long enough to acquire quite a bit of data with which to assess him with.</p><p>So, during the end of the fight, after Spike and Buffy had taken down a number of zombies. Xander relaxed from playing the ‘distracting bait’, and shifted from the fight to the sidelines.  </p><p>He took a moment to catch his breath as he scanned the area. He glanced at Buffy who seemed to be holding her own. She was dancing her weapon through, and around, three zombies.  </p><p>Xander then looked over and saw Spike also had three zombies. Only his zombies were scrambling all over him, clawing and biting at him, and Spike seemed soley focused on the squirming zombie in front of him. He had its skull gripped between his hands.  </p><p>Xander grimaced as he saw Spike squish his thumbs into the undead's eyeballs. He watched Spike ignore the threats clambering around him as he focused fully on dissecting the zombie’s skull within his hands.</p><p>Xander realized Spike wasn’t fighting back again and he filled with an unexplained rage. He rushed over and kicked over one of the attacking zombies. Spike looked up.</p><p>"Hey, fight back, ya bleached moron!" Xander said.</p><p>He swung his mace at the second zombie which ignored Spike and scrambled towards him. Xander moved backwards as the zombie swung at him. Xander took another swing with his mace and lobbed off the zombie's head.  </p><p>Spike dropped his zombie after tearing the skull in two. He stood watching as Xander swung his mace again into the last zombie’s head. The zombie ducked and rushed like a spear towards the mortal. </p><p>The zombie took Xander to the ground and he threw up his mace in defense. "Don't get bit! Don't get bit!" he muttered.</p><p>Spike came out of his daze when he saw Xander knocked over. He surged forwards but stopped as an axe flew out of left field and cleaved off the remaining zombie’s head.  </p><p>Spike didn’t bother looking at the slayer. Instead, he watched Xander’s relief and happiness as he thanked Buffy who approached and reached out a hand to help him stand. Xander wiped the zombie blood off his face with his shirt as Buffy moved to retrieve her weapon.  </p><p>Spike spun away from the two of them to look at the scattering of dead zombies.</p><p>Xander seethed but he kept his mouth shut while Buffy debriefed them. It wouldn't bother him so much that Spike wanted to kill himself. But with the way he kept doing it during patrol was endangering the rest of them. It pissed Xander off. It didn't have to be like this. Spike was a great fighter. He could be a real asset to the team if he wasn't always so insufferable.  </p><p>“Okay, why don’t you guys head home? I’m going to Giles’s place quick.” Buffy said.</p><p>“You sure, Buff?” Xander said.</p><p>Buffy nodded, “Uh huh, i’m thinking I’ll bring Giles back here for a flesh eater sting. We’ve got all these bodies just sitting here...”</p><p>She shrugged as she looked around.</p><p>Xander nodded, “Alright. Be safe.”</p><p>The three of them all walked to the entrance of the graveyard, and then disbanded.</p><p>Buffy went her own way and Spike seemed to be going Xander’s way, so they walked in silence while Xander fumed. He wanted to broach the topic, but he was so angry that he didn’t know which words to use.</p><p>Spike walked past the turn off for his crypt and continued walking alongside Xander.</p><p>“Where ya headed, Fangless?” Xander said.</p><p>“Walking you home,” Spike said</p><p>“I didn’t ask you to,” Xander said.</p><p>“Didn’t say you had a choice in it,” Spike said.</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire irritated. Spike smirked and the two of them glanced away from each other.</p><p>Spike started talking aloud about the zombies and Xander listened as they walked. He didn’t acknowledge the vampire as he spoke. Instead, he thought about how he could possibly talk Spike out of being suicidal. How does one revive the thirst of life for the undead?  </p><p>Xander stopped walking as he picked up something Spike said, "What did you just say?"</p><p>Spike stopped and stood looking Xander in the eyes.</p><p>"Was chatting about your dead chap, Jesse," Spike said.</p><p>Xander saw red, his earlier anger reawakened. He swung out his fist before he thought about it.</p><p>Spike stumbled backwards, blinking as Harris sucker punched him.  </p><p>Xander rushed forward and pushed the vampire. Spike tripped over a curb and landed on his back with an "ooph".  </p><p>"What the fuck?" Spike sputtered.</p><p>Xander jumped on top of him and rained blows down on the vampire's face.</p><p>Spike put his hands up to deflect as he stared up at the irate human pummelling him. He lay there taking it all in as he realized that he must have said the absolute wrong thing by bringing up Jesse.  </p><p>He'd only recently learned about Jesse from the little witch. Willow explained that she and Xander lost their friend to Darla a few years back. Spike didn't understand why mentioning the bloke warranted a beating, but he wasn't going to stop it. He dropped his arms and stopped defending himself.</p><p>Xander rained punches down on the vampires uncovered face. He was brimming full of anger. His hands hurt but he kept at it because he was so angry. He kept punching until he was out of gas. He paused with his fist pulled back, breathing hard.   </p><p>Spike smiled a bloody smile as he looked up at him.</p><p>Xander grimaced and lowered his arm. His hands balled into fists on his thighs as he glared down at Spike. He huffed and puffed as he sat atop of the vampire. For a second, Xander saw Jesse looking back at him. The two men had similar sharp cheekbones. Xander swallowed a sob and swung another tired punch at Spike’s face.</p><p>Spike lifted his arm and blocked Xander's fist. Xander stared shocked at the interception and then glared hard at the Spike.</p><p>"You're not even real. You’re a vampire," Xander said, "You're not who you were. You're just a shell of who you were!"  </p><p>Xander blinked thru tear-filled eyes, looking down at the blood-soaked vampire.</p><p>Spike coughed on some bloody spittle and he closed his eyes and let his demon visage come to the fore.</p><p>Xander pulled back and punched Spike again.  </p><p>Spike's heart clenched in his chest as he reaffirmed to himself that Harris could never be like Xander in the other world. Harris could never love him. The lad hated vampires. Spike smiled a bloody smile of rueful angst as he took another punch. He grabbed the human suddenly then and pulled him down so that he was flush against his body. The vampire encircled the human's frame and pulled him as close as he could.</p><p>Xander froze and then struggled. His cheek stubble scratched against Spike's face as he wriggled in vain. He stilled, once he realized that he was unable to escape. Xander panted and gasped for air as the bear hug confined his lungs.</p><p>Spike felt the human's warmth seep into his cheek as the sides of their faces pressed together. He could hear the human's heart racing. He clenched his arms around the mortal a smidge tighter before loosening his hold. He whispered in the human's ear. "Do it. Stake me. I ain’t got nuthin left."</p><p>Xander listened, staying quiet as he heaved in breaths.</p><p>"You’re right," Spike said, "I’m not who I used to be. Do it."</p><p>The vampire's voice was hoarse. Xander's heart pounded a static echo as he waited for Spike to finish talking and let him go.</p><p>"I'm barely..."</p><p>Spike stopped himself and let his grip completely release.  </p><p>Xander scrambled to stand. He stared down at the vampire. His alabaster face and bleached hair were covered in blood. Spike was splayed out like a starfish.</p><p>"Do it," Spike goaded.</p><p>Xander stood on shaky legs as the adrenalin seeped from his limbs. He reached into his back pocket to fondle his stake. He thought about putting Spike out of his misery. Putting an end to everyone's misery.</p><p>Spike kept his eyes closed. The ache in his chest grew exponentially as he waited for the human to stake him. He figured it was a fitting end since he was so obsessed with the human and unable to obtain him.  </p><p>Xander dropped his hand from the stake and stepped away. He walked home in a daze.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike eventually wandered to the burned out Stelle house, before sun set. He washed the blood from his face in the bathroom sink and then shucked his coat and crawled into the puffy white bed.</p><p>It took all the vampire’s willpower to not get up and open the window sheers.  </p><p>Spike slept hard and fast and woke up crying.  </p><p>He wiped his face, ignored the wetness, and moved about the house in a daze. He had to fix his situation. He was miserable, he had nothing to live for, except an idea of Xander Harris that belonged in left field. Everything about his existence was killing him and he just wanted it all to end. He woke up with a plan to head to LA entrenched in his mind. He was going to go to Angel. He’d get him to stake him. It seemed like a fitting end.</p><p>Spike stood in the foyer, staring at the Stelle. He watered it, and then fiddled with the stone and the ring sitting next to it. As he held the ring, Spike felt a calm settle over his mind and he decided that he didn't want to go to Angel’s.  </p><p>What a stupid idea that was.  </p><p>If Spike was going to take himself out, he'd do a far bit better then the big brooding ponce. At least going out by slayer was better then by Sire.</p><p>Spike set the ring back down on the pedestal and left the house on foot. He had a feeling he'd like to float on his boat and clear his head.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>"I just wish we had more time to hang out," Willow said, "Are you sure you have to head home so early?"  </p><p>"Them’s the cons to a full-time job, Wills," Xander said.</p><p>The two shared a smile.</p><p>"I guess I just feel like I missed out on so much. I can't believe I was so self-involved that I didn't notice both Anya and Riley leave."</p><p>Xander licked his ice-cream cone.</p><p>"Yeah, well... We didn't exactly tell you, so how could you know?" He said.</p><p>Willow took a lick of her own ice-cream cone and then jumped. Her ball of ice-cream fell off her cone and landed with a splat on the cement.</p><p>"Aw, jeez, that's sacrilicious!" Xander joked.</p><p>"Uh, Xan…"  </p><p>Willow pointed north with her empty waffle cone.</p><p>Xander turned and threw his own ice-cream cone to the ground in fright.</p><p>"Eep," Xander said.</p><p>The two began to inch backwards. The large blue demon standing down the road from them clawed at the ground with its large foot and then started to advance on them.</p><p>Xander spun the red-headed witch and pushed her to run ahead of him. Willow threw out a burst of speed and Xander pushed to catch up.  </p><p>They could feel the demon gaining on them as they ran and Xander knew it was up to him to forfeit himself so that Willow could get away. Xander stopped running and turned to look at his attacker. He shut his eyes in fear as the huge blue demon lunged towards him.</p><p>Xander felt his body tossed ass over teakettle and he opened his eyes to find he'd landed in a heap on the grass. He looked up and saw a shock of blond hair and a leather coat streak across his vision.  </p><p>"Man, am I grateful you showed up!" Xander said as he pushed himself up to see Spike sparing with the big blue demon.  </p><p>Xander stood up and watched Spike punch the big blue demon. He was unsure what to do.</p><p>"Run, you nit! Don’t wait on me!" Spike said.</p><p>Xander didn't need to be told twice. He ran as fast as he could in the direction Willow had gone. Xander found Willow down an alley. She was shaking as she looked around. She still held onto her naked waffle cone.</p><p>"It's a dead end!" she cried.</p><p>Xander could hear the panic in her voice.</p><p>"Spike's out there,” Xander said, “Let's go!"  </p><p>He grabbed Willow's arm to exit the alley and then the two stopped and backed up. The big blue demon was at the entrance of the ally and Spike was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>Willow screamed and Xander stepped forward, putting Willow behind himself. He knew she was more powerful than him, but he was more worthless, so he figured he should go first.  </p><p>They were backed into the ally. There was nowhere to go.</p><p>Willow grabbed onto Xander’s shirt when she saw Spike appear. The vampire attacked the big blue demon and drew it away from the mouth of the ally.  </p><p>Xander dragged Willow around the two demons as they fought, and noticed that the blue demon didn't reach for him as it did for Willow. Xander had a split second realization that the blue abomination was ignoring him. He couldn't know for sure, but he figured that Willow was drawing the demon somehow. It only had eyes for her.</p><p>Xander had an idea as they ran down the road and into another ally. He grabbed Willow and stopped her.</p><p>"Teleport," Xander said.</p><p>"What? No! I can't leave you here!" she said.</p><p>Xander grabbed the waffle cone out of Willow's hand and tossed it aside.</p><p>"Look!” he said, grabbing her shoulders, “This thing wants you. It's drawn to you. You need to get away. Now!"</p><p>Willow shook as the blue demon found them again. She looked at Xander and shook her head.</p><p>"I can't just leave you here!" she said.</p><p>Xander grabbed onto the witch’s upper arms and shook her.</p><p>"Listen to me. You have to do this," Xander said.</p><p>He looked back to see the demon once again fighting with Spike.  </p><p>"It's chasing you, not me," Xander said.</p><p>Willow stared at Xander and then looked over his shoulder to see the demon and the vampire brawling. Willow bit her bottom lip as her face crumpled.</p><p>"I'll be fine," Xander said.</p><p>Willow closed her eyes, pained. When she opened them again, she looked at Xander in question.  </p><p>Xander implored her with his eyes and then she was gone. The red-headed witch disappeared in a wink.</p><p>Xander spun around to look for the demon. He watched as Spike got in a solid spinning jump kick into the demon’s large oddly shaped head. When Spike stepped back into his fighting stance, he dodged the demon's last angry swing before the large blue demon ran away.</p><p>Spike frowned as he stared after the demon. He then turned towards Xander and waltzed down the alley towards him, "Can you believe that pussy just ran away?"</p><p>Xander stared at Spike and wondered if he and Willow would still be alive had Spike not intervened. He stared at the healing cuts across the vampire’s face and felt a string of guilt pull at him. He opened his mouth to thank the vampire but Spike cut him off.</p><p>"Where's Red?"</p><p>"I got her to teleport home," Xander said.</p><p>Spike looked at Xander for a long moment as he reached into his coat for a smoke.</p><p>"Good thinkin'," Spike said.</p><p>The vampire lit his smoke and continued to stare at the human as he took a drag. Then, a moment later, Spike turned and started to leave the ally.</p><p>"Hey!" Xander said, "Don't think I didn't notice you trying to get yourself killed again!"</p><p>He thought he was doing the right thing by confronting the vampire, but when Spike stopped walking and turned around to glare at him, Xander wished he hadn't brought it up.</p><p>"With the zombies yesterday... I saw you... And with the big blue thing tonight... Willow was the primary target," Xander said, "It was pretty clear."  </p><p>Spike started walking back towards Xander, as the human continued.</p><p>"You can't keep doing this Spike. You gotta accept that you're chipped. You can't keep trying to kill yourself – especially during fights!"</p><p>Spike stared at the human with an evil look in his eye, "Are you telling me what's good for me, Harris?"</p><p>"Look," Xander said, "it's not just about you, okay?"</p><p>Spike stared at the human, his cigarette burning forgotten between his fingertips. Spike squinted. What did that mean? Was the human implying that he felt something for him? The vampire reached out to grab Xander's arm with his free hand.  </p><p>Xander flinched away and stepped back.</p><p>"Thanks. You know, for saving us", Xander said.</p><p>Spike nodded and stared at Harris as the mortal dodged around him and rushed towards the mouth of the ally.  </p><p>Xander disappeared around the corner and ran towards Willow's house as fast as he could.  </p><p>Spike spun around to watch as the whelp ran off. He watched him round the corner then sucked back the last of his smoke with a long drawn out drag before turning back towards the marina.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander half jogged half ran through town. He felt a chill run up and down his arms and spine. He slowed to a speed walk as he looked around. He listened and tried to focus all his attention on his ears as he walked by an empty park.  </p><p>Creeped out, he started running again. He felt like there was a demon in the dark bushes following him. He had to be careful. The big blue demon was still out there.</p><p>Xander heard a growl full of bass emit from a nearby bush and he ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Terrified, he felt like his heart was beating out of his chest as he ran around a corner.</p><p>He jumped and gasped as he ran into Willow.</p><p>"Jesus!" Xander yelled. "Willow!"  </p><p>She looked scared and shocked, “I’m so glad I found you!”</p><p>Xander slapped himself in the stomach, "Hey, Wills! Sorry for, ya know, yelling in your face and all; but, uh, let's keep running this way!"</p><p>He turned the girl and pushed her in the direction she’d come.</p><p>"Is there a monster following you?" Willow asked.</p><p>Xander gave Willow a grin, "You know me too well."</p><p>Willow's eyes widened and the two took off running.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander realized, over the summer, that he and Buffy's friendship was a lot deeper than he'd previously thought. He'd always figured that he was only Buffy's friend by Willow’s proxy. Yet, over the summer with just the two of them hanging out, that thought changed.  </p><p>Xander and Buffy actually had a lot in common. They were both obsessed with death and both had no problem nerding out about Star Trek. Neither thought that far into the future, about kids or marriage, because both expected themselves to die soon. They both just really wanted to do the right thing. That was their bottom line. The thing that they had in common above all else.</p><p>But now, Buffy wasn't available to gab anymore. Not since she'd met her new guy, Jamie. And Xander was feeling the loss.</p><p>He sighed as he got up from the couch. He was bummed and lonely, but at the same time he was grateful for his summer with Buffy because their relationship grew tenfold. And because of that growth, Xander was genuinely happy for her new relationship. Even if it meant he got less Buffy time himself.</p><p>Xander headed to the front door, intending to go out to find something to do to keep his mind occupied. He thought maybe he’d walk to the gas station to pick up a Slurpee, but when he opened his door he froze as he saw all the cop cars on his street.  </p><p>Slowly, he stepped outside of his house and approached the nearby police officer, "What happened? Is Mrs. Halloway okay?"</p><p>The police officer looked green, but he told Xander he needed to stand back while he cordoned off the area. Xander stood beyond the police tape, on his front stoop, and watched the police and coroner enter the house next door. A detective approached him to asked him some questions but he felt useless as he explained that he didn't hear a thing the night before.</p><p>He headed back into his parent’s house, after Mrs. Halloway’s body bag was removed from the house next door and the law enforcement team geared up to leave.  </p><p>He reentered his house before he realized that he’d been heading out to begin with.  </p><p>He locked the door behind him and headed over to Stevenson hall. Now, at least, he had a reason to head over there. A second thought occurred to him and he wondered if he could get Willow to hack into the police files.</p><p>Xander found Willow studying in the dormitory and the two were soon hunched over her laptop as she hacked into the police database. They learned painfully that Mrs. Halloway was tortured. She'd had her tongue cut out and both of her legs were broken.  </p><p>Xander's mouth filled with saliva and he felt like he was going to puke while they read the report. He rushed from the dorm room and down the hall to the men’s room.  </p><p>By the time he got there, the feeling subsided, but he turned on the sink to spit. He rinsed the sink and splashed cool water all over his face and neck. He felt bereft. He loved his neighbor.  </p><p>Mrs. Halloway was the reason Xander had learned about thorns on roses for the first time... in her beautiful rose garden.  </p><p>Xander rejoined his friend and held Willow tightly as she came close and squeezed him with a hug. There was a knock at the dorm room door and Willow called out, “It’s open,”</p><p>Xander froze with his arm around Willow as he looked up at the door to see Oz. He shifted out of the embrace and moved away from his friend. Willow stepped over to her computer and shut it down as she asked Xander if he was good to be left alone.  </p><p>Xander nodded and forced a smile.  </p><p>Willow put on a coat and followed Oz out of the room with a little wave.</p><p>Xander sat down on Willow’s bed and thought for a while before he decided to seek out Buffy. As he got up from the bed, the door opened. He looked up and felt fortunate that he didn’t have to search far.</p><p>“Heya Buff. Wanna go get coffee?”</p><p>Buffy looked at him surprised, “Oh, hey, Xan. What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Was just hangin’ with Willow when Oz came to pick her up.”</p><p>Buffy nodded and dropped her heavy book bag down on her bed. She changed her sweater and then stood before Xander. “To answer your question, I am all too happy to put down my number 2 pencil and slack off from school for a bit.”</p><p>Xander grinned and followed Buffy out the door. They headed to the campus coffee shop, found it closed, and decided to walk over to the espresso pump instead.  </p><p>Coffee’s in hand, Xander and Buffy wandered to a cemetery to sit on some tombstones and chat until sunset.</p><p>"So, what's up?" Buffy said.</p><p>Xander could see her squinting at him with her serious face. He took a deep breath.</p><p>"I woke up this morning to learn that my neighbor was killed," Xander said.</p><p>He saw he had Buffy's undivided attention, "I already got Wills to hack into the police report and it looks like she was tortured and had her tongue cut out."</p><p>Buffy gasped, "Oh, no! Mrs. Halloway?"</p><p>Xander nodded and worried his lip between his teeth.</p><p>Buffy closed her eyes, pained, "Jeez. I'm so sorry, Xan."</p><p>Xander nodded and bit his lip, "Yep. Just another day living on the mouth of hell. Lose someone you know everyday."</p><p>Xander stopped talking as he choked up. He swallowed and took a sip of his hot chocolate. He looked off into the distance, trying to be present and aware. He heard a twig break and he turned to look back at Buffy who set her drink down and stood up.  </p><p>Xander watched Buffy move in the direction of the noise. She grabbed her hand axe that she had tucked into the waist band of her pants and approached the bushes.  </p><p>As she crept closer, Buffy yelped and jumped back as a gaggle of zombie crawled out of the foliage to swarm her. She ducked and weaved and swung her axe into a zombie’s head. The wooden handle broke on impact and Buffy rushed back towards Xander and grabbed his hand. She pulled on him as she started to run.</p><p>"Time to go!" she said.</p><p>Xander ran alongside beside her, when Buffy let him go, "What happened?"</p><p>"My axe broke. We need more weapons," she said.</p><p>Xander focused on keeping up with Buffy as they ran back to the campus for weapons.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Both Buffy and Xander were armed to the teeth as they returned to the graveyard to track the zombies. The two joked and goofed around with each other while they wandered the night patrolling for undead.</p><p>"You know, I really miss our summer date nights dancing at the bronze." Buffy said.</p><p>Xander turned to Buffy with a grin and opened his mouth to wholeheartedly agree with her when he was attacked from behind.</p><p>"Ya-ahh!" Xander shouted.</p><p>He bent forward in fear and unintentionally tossed the attacking zombie over his shoulder. The corpse slammed into the ground at his feet, and Xander backed up with wide shocked eyes as he looked around for Buffy. He watched his friend cleave in the head of a zombie she was fighting before she turned to look for him.  </p><p>Buffy saw Xander was safe and rushed Xander's zombie to bash its brains in. She then circled Xander as she took stock of the area.  </p><p>Not seeing anything else, the two of them regained their breath.</p><p>"As I was about to say, before being so rudely interrupted," Xander said, "I miss our dates at the Bronze too... Like a lot."</p><p>Buffy nudged him with her arm as she grinned up at him. The two fell into step as they wandered the sidewalk.</p><p>"We were a lot closer then, huh?" Buffy said.</p><p>Xander nodded, "Yeah. I kinda miss it."</p><p>Buffy gave him a sad smile, "I'm sorry, Xan."</p><p>He shook his head, "Don't be. I'm beyond happy you're happy."</p><p>Buffy grinned, "I am, aren't I?"</p><p>Xander laughed and grabbed Buffy in a headlock to give her a nuggie. Buffy squealed and squirmed out of his embrace and the two of them laughed and continued walking. Buffy fixed her hair as she scanned their surroundings.  </p><p>They each stopped and stared at each other when they heard screaming. They turned as one and ran towards the sound.  </p><p>They rushed into the nearby cemetery and Buffy ran headlong into the mass of six zombies as they came into view. Xander saw a middle aged woman fleeing from the fray. She tripped and fell. He rushed towards her and picked her up, pulling her away from Buffy and the zombies before checking her over for any bite marks. While Buffy did her destiny, Xander asked the woman if she was okay. She appeared fine so Xander told her to run home. He watched the lady disappear, running on a broken high heel into the night, before he turned back to scan the fight.</p><p>The slayer stood in the center of six dead zombies, her hair pulled out of her ponytail in disarray. She was huffing and puffing, as Xander approached.</p><p>He whistled as he appraised the carnage encircling her, and because he was looking down, Xander had no warning as the wild eyed Buffy glomped onto him.  </p><p>Xander froze as stiff as a board as Buffy kissed him.  </p><p>The seconds lasted longer then possible while he stood awestruck. Shocked by the fact that he felt nothing. In the exact moment of getting everything he'd always wanted, Xander realized that he didn’t actually want it. He pushed Buffy away, "Woah, wait a minute!"</p><p>"Yeah, No.” Buffy shook her head, “That was stupid. I’m so sorry! I don’t know- I don’t know why I did that. I don’t mean to be a kiss slut."</p><p>Xander nodded as the two stared at one another with 'Holy fuck! Faces'. After a minute, the two of them both burst out laughing. Buffy glomped onto Xander again, but this time she only hugged him.  </p><p>“I love you, Xan."</p><p>Xander hugged her back, and said, "Ditto, " into her hair.  </p><p>When Buffy pulled away from him, Xander closed his eyes and confessed.</p><p>"I kissed Spike too,"</p><p>Silence. </p><p>While reprimanding himself internally, Xander opened his eyes to see Buffy’s reaction. He had no idea what made him say that. He cracked one eye open and then the other. He winced, upon seeing Buffy’s confused frown.</p><p>"What?" she said.</p><p>"I know, it's awful. He's... well, undead... It’s- it’s a thing," Xander looked off to the side as he rambled.</p><p>"Wow, Xan!" Buffy said, "Who's the kiss slut now?"</p><p>Xander turned back to look at Buffy, grateful to see her grinning at him. He forced a smile onto his face in return.  </p><p>Buffy began walking and Xander shook his head and stuffed his hands into his pockets as he fell into step with her. "Yeah, well, demon magnet, what can I say?"</p><p>"Hey, I’m not a demon!" Buffy pouted.</p><p>"Yeah, well... still a kiss slut?" Xander said.</p><p>Buffy laughed and Xander stuck out his tongue at her. The two bumped shoulders as they walked home.</p><p>"Does Willow know?" Buffy asked as she passed by a bush and pulled on the feathery wisps of reeds, "About you and Spike?"</p><p>"What? No! It- no. There is no me and Spike." Xander said.</p><p>"Where is he, anyway?" Buffy asked emptying her hand of plant matter.</p><p>"No idea,"</p><p>Buffy nodded and glanced at him before asking, "So, how was it?"</p><p>Xander bit his lip, "I have no idea. I was helping him out and we were talking and it- well happened... and then I left right after. It kind of freaked me out."</p><p>Buffy nodded and kicked a rock, "Well, he'll show up. He always does... Like a cockroach."</p><p>Xander snorted and then stopped when Buffy grabbed his arm and pointed. He squinted to make out a figure knocking on what appeared to be blank wall painted blue. A rectangle the size of a door opened and the figure disappeared. All that remained was the plain blue wall.</p><p>"I've never seen that blue wall there before," Xander said.</p><p>Buffy agreed and they decided to do recon. Nothing happened when they followed the demon's lead and knocked on the wall. They decided it would be best to have Willow conjure up the city plans to find out more about the building, so the two of them disbanded for the night. Buffy went back to the dorms to ask for Willow’s help, while Xander went home to sleep so he could go to work at the ass crack of dawn.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander laid on his back staring at the ceiling trying to sleep. He sighed, unable to get his mind to shut off. He didn’t want to have to go to work in the morning. His thoughts were focused on his recent night crawl with Buffy.  </p><p>She'd kissed him.</p><p>Xander groaned as he rubbed his eyes. His mind replayed his and Buffy’s stray kiss from the earlier and he snorted as he recalled it. He knew her too well now. The act was awkward in itself, let alone the fall out. They both knew each other inside out, since their budding time this summer.  </p><p>Sure, Xander had always loved Buffy. From the very first moment he’d set eyes on her. There was just some sort of magnetism that shone out of the girl. And before this summer, he’d have told anyone and everyone, that he was in love with her. But, now, since they’d spent nearly every day together over the summer, Xander knew more about Buffy then he ever did before.  </p><p>He'd already sort of held the sneaking suspicion, that if Buffy ever miraculously told him she wanted him, that he wouldn’t actually want to be with her. But he truly had proof now, after the kiss. There was no magical spark between them. There was no erotic love between them. Xander recognized his feelings now for what they were. He’d only ever wanted what he couldn’t have.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Insomnia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>It had been a month since Xander last saw Spike. A month of overthinking and looking over his shoulder. A month of insomnia and janky sleep. Now, though, it was over. He finally knew where the vampire was.</p><p>Xander placed his mug of hot chocolate down on the table and dropped his weight onto the folded up hideabed. He extended his legs out on the couch as he fished around between the cushions for the remote. Once finding it, he turned on the TV and flicked through the channels.</p><p>His recent phone call with Buffy saturated his mind. They’d recently hung up. </p><p>She’d called to tell him that Angel was coming to town. Not only that, but the great ape was bringing Faith and Spike along with him. Buffy gave no explanation for Faith coming, but told Xander that Spike showed up in LA 3 1/2 weeks ago begging Angel to stake him.  </p><p>Xander wasn't surprised to learn the bleached menace was still trying to kill himself. Though, he was beyond surprised he went to Angel to get the job done. Xander knew how much Spike hated Angel. It was on par with how much Xander hated Angel. Speaking of which, he wasn’t stoked about the Jekyll/Hyde vampire coming to town either.</p><p>Angel coming to town even wigged Buffy out. She’d said as much over the phone. Though, Xander figured it was more of a pride thing for her. Buffy said she felt weird because Jamie was acting a bit strange and distant lately. When he’d questioned her about it, Buffy spent the rest of the phone call venting about Jamie blowing off their latest date.</p><p>Xander reached for his hot chocolate and took a tentative sip and as he thought. He couldn't help the swell of curiosity bubbling within him wondering why Spike would go to Angel. At least now, he knew why the vampire was AWOL for the past month. Ever since the kiss.</p><p>Xander blinked and stared at the steam rising from his drink. He found his mind often did this. The thoughts of the weird kiss would come out of nowhere and then bloom into the only thing he could think about. He took another sip out of his mug and set it back on the side table. He couldn't stop thinking about the stupid kiss. He'd kissed a dead person. Well, technically, the undead guy kissed him.  </p><p>Xander heaved a sigh and stared at the TV as he crossed his arms over his chest. Soon though, his thoughts dissociated and he was back to agonizing over the vampire.</p><p>For the past month, whenever anyone brought up Spike, the kiss was the first thing Xander thought of. He wondered why the vampire decided to kiss him, out of all people... He'd wondered about it so much, accessed the memory so often, that now he couldn't even remember the actual kiss. He just knew that it happened. Kissage. Lips pressing together. With an undead monster. An undead monster guy.</p><p>Xander couldn't explain it. He didn't know why he thought about Spike kissing him ad nauseum. He told himself that it would have been easier to deal with the whole situation had Spike stuck around to taunt him about being gay or bi or whatever.  </p><p>Instead, for a month, Xander found himself wondering where the vampire disappeared to.  </p><p>Normally, he wouldn't have cared where Spike was. He had his own life. But after two weeks of not seeing the vampire, Xander couldn't stop wondering what happened to him. He'd wondered if Spike finished himself off, but there was no way to know. So, instead, he often thought of the vampire, wondering where he was, and often mulling over the weird kiss.  </p><p>Initially, Xander went through a phase thinking Spike left specifically because of the kiss. Like the Slayer's ‘lapdog' rebuffing him was enough to bruise the vampire's pride and make him leave. For a while, he also thought it was better this way, with the vampire gone. He wouldn't have to think about it anymore, it was over and done with.  </p><p>Except, he found it popping into his brain at the weirdest times. And the more he shoved the thoughts of the kiss, or Spike, aside the more the thoughts continued to reassert themselves. Xander found himself agonizing over the half kiss while he helped with research, during patrol and even while working.  </p><p>The worst was when he had his hand on his dick and the thoughts showed up unbidden. He'd abandoned his needs several times now because of it. It was a daily gamble, since he spent a lot of time with his hand lately. He hadn’t been laid since before Anya left.</p><p>Xander sighed and sipped his hot drink as he thought about Anya leaving him at the beginning of summer.  </p><p>He'd started the double meat palace job just before then, finding he liked how he was able to turn his brain off and be an automaton. He could slap burgers together at an astonishing rate and he liked that it kept him busy.  </p><p>Xander found he had to keep his mind occupied, so he didn't dwell on Anya leaving him or his penchant for drinking. So, he kept busy, working all day and then hanging out with the gang at night. He found as he got back out there with Buffy over the summer, and helped keep Sunnydale safe at night, it really helped his mental state. He hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since his 'accident' in the tub. The demons still called to him, but it wasn't as bad anymore. And he still had ruminating thoughts of Anya, but the thoughts of Anya achingly abandoning him had morphed into bittersweet memories as time marched on.</p><p>Life was beginning to feel like it was on an even keel again. Then Spike kissed him and all obsessive thoughts revolving around Anya or being sober transmuted into a constant state of rumination about what the vampire's kiss meant. Xander expected Spike to show up at every meeting at first. Swaggering through the door all brash and arrogant and barking some British barb. But it never came. Night after night, the vampire didn't show. Xander wondered why. Where had he disappeared to? Did he kill himself? Xander had so many questions.</p><p>Now, he knew the answer. Spike went to LA.</p><p>Xander still wondered if Spike left because of the kiss. He knew he would never ask, but he still wondered.  </p><p>He gulped back the last of his drink and cracked his neck. He shifted in his seat to see the VCR clock and saw he still had an hour until Oz showed up.  </p><p>Oz moving back to Sunnydale was creating massive waves between Willow and Tara. So much so that even Xander noticed, so he’d asked Oz over for a guy’s night. He’d got the idea from the girls, as they were having a ‘girl's night’. </p><p>Xander invited Giles over but the ex-watcher declined, so it was just Xander and Oz.</p><p>Xander finished his drink and lounged deeper into the couch. He pulled the newspaper down from a TV tray makeshift table and fiddled with it while he thought about Oz.  </p><p>Last night, after patrol, Xander got a lift home from the werewolf. They pulled off the main road and Xander sat confused as they pulled up to a dark brown nondescript house. Oz said he had to make a quick stop, told Xander to stay in the van, and said he'd be back in a jiffy.  </p><p>Oz was in and out of the house and climbing back in the van before Xander could wonder what they were doing there. When Oz got back in the van, Xander caught a whiff of something pungent.  </p><p>"Whew, what's that smell?"</p><p>Oz looked at Xander, smirked, and shifted his van into reverse. He used his mirrors to back out onto the street while replying, "It's weed. I've been selling it to help make rent."</p><p>Xander was quiet for a second. All he knew about weed was what he learned in the D.A.R.E program.  </p><p>Curious, he asked, "Can I try it with you some time?"</p><p>Oz grinned and they made a plan to smoke up together the next night.</p><p>Today was that day.  </p><p>Xander sat on his couch, half nervous and half excited, wondering how the night would pan out.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>"So, I heard Giles bought a Wicca shop," Oz said.</p><p>The werewolf finished cutting up a nugget of dried marijuana. Xander watched his red-headed friend's dexterous fingers work at rolling a joint.</p><p>"Yeah, he said he was gonna sign for it today,” Xander said, “There was a murder there, which expedited things."</p><p>Oz looked up as he had his tongue out to moisten the rolling paper's glue. He licked it, and folded the joint closed.  </p><p>"Expedited? Wouldn't that normally slow down a sale?"</p><p>"Not in Sunnydale," Xander said.</p><p>Oz shrugged, "Huh."</p><p>"The owner's daughter came in from LA yesterday to look around the shop." Xander said, " She said she wanted to liquidate everything immediately; so Giles gave her a figure and the lady accepted it, that's all I know."</p><p>"Crazy," Oz murmured as he grabbed his lighter and stood up.  </p><p>Xander stood and followed the shorter man outside to the back yard.  </p><p>The two of them sat down on the steps and Oz lit the doobie. He puffed a few times and then handed it over to Xander.  </p><p>Having never smoked pot before, Xander accepted the joint and took a timid puff. When he didn't cough, he tried again and sucked way too much into his lungs. A plumb of white thick smoke burst out of him as he choked.  </p><p>Xander passed back the joint as he sputtered and drooled. He laughed as he wiped his mouth.  </p><p>Oz took another few pulls off the doobie and then passed it back to him. Xander took another drag, proud of himself for not coughing this time. They passed the weed back and forth as his usually tense shoulders relaxed.  </p><p>Xander scanned the yard, as far as his eyes could see, as he heard a twig snap and leaves shuffle off to his right. His eyes scanned the bushes and then he snapped his face back towards Oz as the werewolf laughed at him.</p><p>"Methinks you're getting a bit paranoid. There's nothing out there. Werewolf senses, remember?"</p><p>Xander grinned and nodded. He watched Oz stub the doobie out on his boot before tossing it into the grass.</p><p>Oz pat Xander on the back as he stood up, "Didn't you say we were gonna marathon Monty Python?"</p><p>Xander nodded and stood up. Oz followed him back into the house.  </p><p>When they returned to the basement Oz overturned his backpack onto the floor and a plethora of snacks rained down.</p><p>Xander stood in awe, "Woah! Fruit by the foot? Twinkies!? Tiny candy bars! Oh my!"</p><p>Oz chuckled and dropped himself down into a corner of the sofa as he reached out for a leathery fruit snack.</p><p>Xander crossed the room to pop the movie in the VCR. On his way to sit down opposite Oz on the hideabed, he grabbed a random snack from the pile.</p><p>"Are these Gushers?" Xander asked.</p><p>Oz shook his head, "Nah. They're Squirts. They only had the no-name brand."  </p><p>He gave Xander a silly grin and Xander burst out laughing. Oz snorted and the two descended into peals of laughter.  </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike indulged in his pathetic stalking of the whelp again as soon as he arrived back in town. He stood in the trees outside Xander's house, watching the human and his little werewolf friend stuff their gobs with sugar through the window. He'd watched them get high and as much as the werewolf might laud his super senses, Spike's were better. The little mutt may be more advanced than humans, but he wasn't good enough to detect Spike.</p><p>The vampire sighed as he peered through the basement window and watched the two nitwits ramble on about the latest baddies invading Sunnydale. Spike zoned out and thought of his recent trip to Los Angeles.</p><p>He'd gone to Angel for help but he shouldn't have bothered. All he got for his trouble was the whole tied up in a bathroom rigmarole all over again. Even with proof of the chip in his head, Angel still kept him chained up. At least, in LA, the group gave him bigger blood rations. Still, Angel had him chained up for nearly the full month. Not that Spike minded so much. He felt better then ever actually. Much better then when he'd left the hellmouth. He was optimistic again, jovial even.  </p><p>If he thought about it, he hadn't thought about killing himself since he'd first arrived in LA. Angel's crew had divested him of some sort of curse, and the defeated feelings soon ebbed.  </p><p>Spike was, of course, happy to discover that he no longer sought death. But, all he could think about was the all consuming, insatiable urge to see Harris.  </p><p>He'd initially begged Angel to stake him, upon showing up, but that quickly turned into nagging his Grand-Sire to take his chip out. Knowing that would never happen, he spent the latter part of the month pleading to be let go. He was beyond bored and wanted nothing more then to return to Sunnydale.</p><p>Thankfully the Powers That Be seemed to hear his wish, because the cheerleader bint had a vision and the next thing he knew he was heading back to Sunnydale as soon as the sun set.</p><p>Spike listened to Xander and Oz ramble and laugh throughout Monty Python. They were both watching the movie, but mostly talking though it as they'd both seen it a million times. Spike had too, and their rambling, stoned conversation interested him much more anyway. He smiled as he eavesdropped, never once taking his gaze off Xander through the window. He may not want to die any longer, but he still wanted Harris.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander woke up in an odd angle on the Barcalounger. He stretched his sore back as he discovered a piece of chocolate in his mouth leftover from the night before. He grimaced as he chewed and swallowed it. He looked around as he sat up and rubbed the back of his neck. He felt like he'd been hit by a gigantic pillowy truck.  </p><p>He glanced at Oz passed out on the couch, as he felt around in his mouth with his tongue. Xander shuddered. His teeth had never felt so gross before. He got up to brush the fuzzy sweaters away with minty freshness in the bathroom upstairs.</p><p>While up there, he made two cups of instant coffee. He left Oz's coffee black and doctored his own into syrup before he moved back downstairs. Xander set both mugs down on the side table and glanced at Oz sleeping on the couch. The werewolf appeared to be waking up.</p><p>Xander grabbed the trashcan and started to collected the mess of empty candy wrappers all over the floor. Afterwards, he went and grabbed his cup of coffee. He nursed it as he sat back in the barcenlounger. His mind rehashed all that transpired the night before.</p><p>He recalled partaking in deep philosophical conversations with Oz. He remembered having legitimate epiphanies. Now though, he couldn't recall what he'd been thinking at the time.</p><p>Oz stretched and looked over at Xander, "Hey."</p><p>"Morning," Xander said.</p><p>He took a sip of his coffee. Oz didn't say anything else and the silence made Xander uncomfortable.</p><p>"So, how was your sugar coma? Sleep well?" Xander said.</p><p>Oz nodded as he sat up and stretched.</p><p>Xander directed Oz's vision towards the coffee mug waiting for him. Oz reached for it and grabbed it, before sitting back and wrapping both hands around the mug. He sniffed the coffee before taking a sip and setting the mug on his thigh.</p><p>"So, what was up with the way you were acting last night,” Oz said, “Do I smell?"</p><p>Xander choked on his gulp of hot coffee and turned to spit it in the trashcan nearby. He wiped his mouth before he turned back to stare at Oz.</p><p>"Uh..." Xander floundered, "Heh... Well, I kissed a guy. Er, I mean he kissed me?"  </p><p>"Is that a question?" Oz said.</p><p>"Maybe," Xander said, "I guess I'm still pretty wigged about it."</p><p>"Oh,"</p><p>The redhead lifted his mug and drained half of the liquid in a few gulps before setting it back down.  </p><p>"So… How was it?"</p><p>Xander squished up his face, "Weird, ya know? I was in shock."</p><p>Xander's mind went back to the split-second kiss. It hadn't been a real kiss, he hadn't kissed back. So, he didn't actually kiss a guy did he?</p><p>"Was it someone supernatural?" Oz asked.</p><p>Xander hid his surprise with false cheer, "Demon magnet remember?"</p><p>"Right," Oz said, "Was it Spike?"</p><p>"What?!"</p><p>Xander shook his head at himself when he realized he’d shouted. He took a few sips from his cup.</p><p>Oz stared at his friend with a neutral expression as he assessed him.  </p><p>"It was just a kiss, Xander. I'm sure he was just messing with your head."</p><p>Xander nodded, "Yeah. You're probably right."</p><p>Looking to change the subject, Xander asked Oz if he was hungry.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>“And I'm telling you, I don't know where he is!" Angel said.</p><p>The vampire crossed his big arms over his chest and stared down at the tiny slayer. He wasn’t about to tell her that the last he saw of Spike was the blond kicking down the welcome to Sunnydale sign in his rear-view mirror as he drove away.</p><p>Angel stared at Buffy as she crossed her arms over her chest as well.  </p><p>The vampire and slayer were having a staring contest and no one sitting in the Watcher's condo felt the need to speak up.</p><p>"So, you just hide Spike away in LA for a month, not telling me," Buffy said, "and then come back to let him loose in Sunnydale?"</p><p>Angel sucked in a deep breath he didn't need. He forced himself to mentally take a step back from the conversation to relax.</p><p>"I wasn't hiding him,” he said, “and I didn't set him loose. He's got a chip in his head."  </p><p>Angel and Buffy stared at one another until Angel dropped his crossed arms.</p><p>"Look, I don't know where he is, okay? I dropped him off at the welcome to Sunnydale sign... He's fine."</p><p>"Why was he even in LA?" Buffy said.</p><p>"I don't know. When he showed up, he had a curse on him. I don't know what it was, but it was like night and day when Wesley cleansed him. Afterwards, he wouldn't shut up about coming back here. It just so happened that Cordy had the vision. I don't know what's going on with him- but he's fine."</p><p>Buffy stared at Angel and then she let her own crossed arms drop.</p><p>"What about Faith?" she said.</p><p>"She's waiting in the car. We thought…"  </p><p>Angel shrugged and his mouth twisted.</p><p>Buffy nodded, "Okay."</p><p>The slayer stared at the vampire and felt a swell of something unnamed unfurl inside of her.</p><p>Angel pulled himself out of Buffy's stare to glance around the living room.</p><p>"I need to go find a hotel," he said, turning back to the blond.</p><p>Buffy nodded, "How long are you staying?"</p><p>"As long as it takes till the apocalypse,"  </p><p>"Cordelia didn't give you much to go on, huh?"</p><p>"No, she gave me a few details, but otherwise I'm here to watch for signs and help out," Angel said.</p><p>"Okay... Well... We're meeting up again tomorrow night. Feel free to join us."</p><p>"Alright," Angel said.</p><p>The two stared at one another and Angel turned to leave.</p><p>"Angel?"</p><p>The vampire stopped with his hand on the door. He glanced back at Buffy.</p><p>"Faith can come too," she said.</p><p>Angel nodded and left. When he closed the door behind him, he sighed. His large frame caved on itself as he meekly walked away from the watcher's condo and into the night.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike awoke and rolled onto his stomach with a groan. He cracked open his eyelids to find himself in a familiar burned-out bedroom. He shut his eyes and snuggled deeper into the puffy white bedding.  </p><p>The vampire could still make out the faded, lingering scent of the human on the sheets. He pulled in a deep breath through his nose then sighed as he let it go.  </p><p>His mind easily slipped back to the night he spent in the other reality. A month had gone by, but he could still recall everything as if it happened yesterday. He often found himself focusing on specific moments of warmth. Like the memory of the human's hot breath caressing his face as they continually kissed throughout the night. Or the mortal's hot fingers creeping across his skin, leaving a path of fiery fingerprints in their wake. Or the feeling of having his whole body suffused with the human's heat as he entered him.  </p><p>Inevitably, the vampire’s thoughts always lingered on the bite. The mortal's hot blood gushing over his tongue and down his throat. Spike often rehashed how primal and natural it had felt. Biting Xander had been a heavenly experience.</p><p>Spike's stomach growled and he rolled over onto his back to stare at the ceiling. After a minute, he forced himself to sit up and look around the room. He scanned the sooty black walls and envisioned how the room looked in the other reality. He fell back against the bed dejected. He was home.</p><p>It had been a month, but everything was more or less the same as when he left.  </p><p>He'd travelled to Los Angeles to get his Grand-Sire to kill him because, at the time, it seemed like the only just course of action.  </p><p>Of course, Angel denied him the pleasure.  </p><p>Instead, Spike was held captive over the month, tied up in Angel's private rooms in his big fancy hotel, and left there to rot. The two vampire's barely saw each other as it seemed Angel was purposefully avoiding him. Except during the day, of course. Which was when Spike would nag the older vampire to let him go so he could head back to Sunnydale. Angel never caved.</p><p>Almost as soon as he arrived at Angel's, Spike felt better. He found he no longer wished for death. He couldn't help but think that it was because he now had something to live for. He couldn't get his mind of Harris. He knew that Harris and Xander weren't the same people, but he hated himself for leaving the whelp in Sunnydale. It appeared that the human was all he could think about.</p><p>Spike obsessed, while chained up in Angel's rooms. He wanted nothing more than to be closer to Harris. He wanted to go after the human and make him change. He figured he could mold Harris into Xander. He wanted the human to adore him the way other one had that weird magical night.  </p><p>But now that he was back in Sunnydale, exactly where he wanted to be, Spike found himself resistant to approach the human. He'd spied on Harris last night and saw nothing that showed the whelp’s devotion to the vampire. He'd eavesdropped on Harris and the werewolf for quite a while, never once hearing his name.</p><p>Tonight, as he crawled from his bed, he vowed to himself not to seek out the mortal. After a few hours, spent writing poetry with the pen and paper in his coat, Spike grew bored and left the house to head to Willies.  </p><p>When he arrived at the bar, he bought himself a shot of A+ alongside a bottle of gin.</p><p>"Careful," Willie told him, "Peoke demons in here tonight, Spike."</p><p>Spike looked up and scanned the assassins Willie pointed at with his eyes. He glanced over and then snagged some cash out of his pocket to toss it across the bar.</p><p>While Willie counted his bills, Spike grabbed his drinks and stepped away. He glanced around for a booth to slide into and took stalk of the bar. He found a place to park and he walked over to it. His gaze lingered on the Peoke demons at the pool table as he took his seat. Spike drank down his bloodshot before cracking open his gin bottle. He poured the liquor into shot glass to rinse the blood and then threw back the shot. He refilled the glass and took another. Then another. Wash rinse repeat.</p><p>Once the edge was off, Spike relaxed back in his seat and cracked his neck while he scanned the bar again. He kept his peripherals on the Peoke demons, while not actually catching any of their attention. He didn't want to roll with the Peoke. They were well known because they often won their fights. Spike knew he could take one, easy, but there was a posse of four of them. He'd pass.</p><p>The vampire scanned the other patrons and saw a drunk sailor in a small corner table. It reminded him of his boat. His boat that he'd saved Harris with. He pursed his lips as he stared down into his shot glass. Why did everything always turn back to the whelp?</p><p>"Yeah, Dude! I can kill again! Finally!"</p><p>Spike blinked and looked up at the booth opposite him. His eyes bore through the wall, listening. What was that?</p><p>"How?" A different voice asked.</p><p>"Human doctor. Cost me fifty K, but I worked it out. I still can't believe it. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs, but it's so worth it. I'm free again!"</p><p>Spike's mouth went dry.</p><p>"That's awesome man! Here, let's drink to it!"</p><p>Spike blinked out of his stupor. They couldn't be talking about what he thought they were talking about, could they? He grabbed his ¾ full bottle of gin and stood up. He moved out of his seat and sidled up to the occupants in the next booth.</p><p>Spike nearly dropped his liquor as he stood looking at two male vampires. One of them was brunette, the other blond and they both wore patched up jean jackets. Spike stared at the blond vampire. It was the same blond vampire he'd seen in his otherworldly night with Xander. What did Xander called him?</p><p>"Avery?" Spike said.</p><p>The blond vampire looked up confused, "Have we met?"</p><p>"Nah, mate. Heard of ya is all," Spike said.</p><p>The blond vampire nodded and pointed at the brunet across from him.</p><p>"This is Dan,"</p><p>Spike nodded to the brunet, "Name’s Spike… Mind if I cop a squat? Heard you talking about your chipdectomy."</p><p>Spike held up his gin bottle and put it on the table. Avery moved over and Spike plopped down next to him.</p><p>"So… about this chip?" Spike said</p><p>Avery grinned.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike stumbled out of Willie's drunk and happy. He made his way towards the burned-out house on Stewart street and wandered inside. Waveringly drunk, he stood staring at the tiny Stelle plant situated on the broken pedestal in the center of the foyer.  </p><p>His lips curved up into a smirk as he thought of his luck. What were the chances he'd meet Avery tonight? It was an eerie development; but not one he bothered to pay much mind to. Nothing mattered, except figuring out a plan to get the ruddy chip out of his head. All he had to do was make some money, since Avery knew the doctor.  </p><p>Spike's grin over took his face. He was exuberant. He finally had a way to get the chip out. He could imagine his freedom once he was released from his man-made leash. He clomped further into the foyer, closing the front door behind him as he went.  </p><p>Spike stopped in front of the pedestal and inspected the little plant. It was the same size as it was when he woke up with it a month previous. The tiny purplish tightly bunched leaves still stood about 4 inches tall.  </p><p>Spike recalled that the magical herb book Giles gave him depicted Stelle as fast growers. He pursed his lips. It wasn't growing at all, let alone quickly. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to kill the plant. He was actually surprised it hadn't died already. Though, it did look sickly.</p><p>Spike drenched the plant under the kitchen faucet before returning it, sopping wet, to the pedestal. He picked up the silver ring sitting next to the plant, being careful to not let Dru's stupid brown bobble roll away.  </p><p>He fiddled with the plain silver ring, twisting it in his fingertips as he inspected it.  </p><p>Wondering if the ring fit, he tried it on and found it fit perfectly on only one finger. He lifted his left hand and stared at his left ring finger before snorting and lowering his hand.  </p><p>He felt an odd feeling overcome him when he put the ring on. It wasn't a bad feeling. He figured he felt amplified, somehow. He felt refreshed and as if his mind was incredibly clear. He blinked, wondering how he'd been shrouded in such a fog and not noticed. The vampire stared at the silver ring as he wondered what it did.</p><p>Glancing at the stubby plant again, Spike recalled his experience in the other reality. It still surprised him, daily, that the one-off night even happened. It didn't make sense. In what world would he, William the Bloody, be holding, kissing, fucking and drinking Xander Harris? But, then there was proof staring him straight in the face as he stared at the Stelle.  </p><p>The plant was a physical reminder that everything he remembered really did happen. He'd spent a night with Xander, Monkey-boy, Harris in another world. He'd actually been inside the lad's body. Not only that, but he'd even fed off of him. Xander wanted him to. Encouraged him to. Spike closed his eyes as he took a deep breath and steadied himself.</p><p>Turning away from the plant, he glanced around to shift his thoughts. He needed to figure out how to make some money. He needed fifty thousand dollars to get the bloody chip out. He needed a plan. A good one.</p><p>Spike trudged up the stairs to the bedroom while shucking his coat. He peeled off his clothes, letting them fall where they lay, before kicking off his boots and climbing into the puffy white bed. His mind filtered through thoughts on how to make money. He figured he could start thieving and fencing it. He couldn't do much else without his bite.</p><p>The next afternoon, when he woke up, Spike reached out for Xander but encountered only air. He blinked open his eyes and looked around. Laying there confused, he scented the air.  </p><p>Everything smelled sweet and floral, causing his mind to think he woke up back in the other reality. Except, when he opened his eyes, he knew he wasn't in the other world. He was home. The soot covered walls indicated he was still in his own reality when he sat up and looked around.</p><p>Something was different though. The scent in his nose was pungent and reminiscent of the other reality. He wondered what the hell was going on? What was that smell?  </p><p>Spike rolled off the bed and picked up his clothes as he wandered out of the bedroom. He dropped them as he stopped half way down the stairs.</p><p>"Well, fuck," Spike breathed.</p><p>He took a deep breath of the pungent air as a smile blossomed on his face. So, this was why it smelled the way it did in the other world… He'd been unable to put a name to it. Now he could. It was the distinct scent of the Stelle plant. The plant was odorous.  </p><p>Spike traipsed down the stairway, naked and unabashed, as he stared at the plant. He approached the Stelle and stood before it gobsmacked. The plant was huge. It had to have grown 4 feet over the course of the day. Not only that, but the fronds of the plant were glowing. The small tree illuminated the dark foyer with a wavering mauve hue.</p><p>The vampire approached the plant, nostrils flaring. He smiled down at the Stelle as he reached out to touch it. He wondered what Xander's Stelle plant looked like in the other reality. Was it as colorful as this? How big was it? He wished he'd taken the time to see it.</p><p>Spike's eyes widened as he realized he could use the Stelle to make money. It was a rare magical plant. It had to be worth a pretty penny. He chuckled and grinned to himself as he thought about it. If the plant could grow this fast over night, then it was plausible he could us the Stelle to help him make chipedectomy money.  </p><p>His epiphany made him giddy. He rushed back up the stairs to grab his clothes. He pulled them on and then began to  search for the magical herb book.  </p><p>He slid on his duster, stuffed the book in his pocket, and started to string up his combat boots. The vampire’s mind filled with thoughts of all the work he would have to do. He had to take a bunch of cuttings from the plant, and then somehow make them all grow over night like this one did. Not to mention he had to figure out how to sell it.</p><p>Illuminated by the Stelle, Spike stared at it as he moved to the front door and grabbed the handle. After a moment of reverence, he turned the knob and left the house.  </p><p>Spike bound down the rickety stairs and started towards the street. He walked with a bounce in his step over to the Watcher's condo while whistling a jaunty tune.</p><p>As he took the shortcut through Restfeild cemetery, Spike bumped into Avery again. The two chatted, during which Spike revealed he had a boat. The other vampire asked him for help disposing a cursed object and Spike agreed to meet up for an ocean dump later on in the week.  </p><p>Spike continued to the watcher’s flat, still thinking about forming a friendship with Avery.  </p><p>As he swung open the condo door, everyone looked up.</p><p>"Good timing, Spike," Angel said.</p><p>Spike ignored Angel and glanced at Harris and then Giles.</p><p>"Wotcher. A moment of your time?"</p><p>Giles squinted at Spike with suspicious eyes but stood. He moved over to the doorway and accepted the book that Spike shoved into his hands. Giles looked down distastefully as the vampire leafed through the pages of the book he held open within his hands.  </p><p>Spike pointed at the smudge part at the bottom of the Stelle section. "What's that say?"</p><p>Giles tilted his head, reading, "Uh… I'm not quite sure."</p><p>Spike nodded, "Right, let me know when you are. Second thing, I've got a line on Stelle."</p><p>Giles eyes raised to the vampire, they were as wide as saucers, "You're kidding."</p><p>Spike shook his head and couldn't contain his grin. While he took in the watchers face, he raised his price in his head. It seemed that Stelle was exotic.</p><p>"Know anyone who wants some?" Spike said.</p><p>Giles nodded, dazed. He blinked and turned half his torso to called out, "Uh, Willow!"</p><p>The redhead walked over to join them in the entryway. Giles turned to her, "Have you heard of the Stelle plant before?"</p><p>Willow's eyes widened, "Yes, of course, but it's so rare I've never actually seen it."</p><p>"I've got a line on some," Spike said, "Top dollar, of course."</p><p>"Of course," Giles said.</p><p>"Wesley will want some," Angel said.</p><p>Spike looked over Giles' shoulder to see Angel staring into a book. Spike smirked.</p><p>"Ooh, I'll need some for my new store. Definitely," Giles said.</p><p>"I'll take a bunch too. Ooh! and Tara will too!" Willow put in.</p><p>"Right, I'll figure out the price and get back to ya."</p><p>"I can’t believe you were able to find some," Willow said, "Stelle is super rare. How the heck were you able to find it?"</p><p>Spike looked at the witch, squinting, "My little secret, Red."</p><p>Thinking it best he leave, Spike turned to Giles and nodded, "Rupert."</p><p>Spike then turned on his heel and left. He walked the dark streets as he thought of all the work he had to do. He scoured dark yards for gear and grinned when he found a full garage unoccupied with the door open. He moved inside and began scavenging. He found some gardening supplies and was about to head out when he saw some cleaning supplies and he grabbed those too. He wanted to start cleaning up the house. Especially the bedroom walls. With his pockets and arms full of an assortment of things, Spike trudged home.  </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Buffy fell to the ground and winced, “Jeez! What the heck are you, Conan?"</p><p>Buffy rolled to dodge the lamp post shaped club aimed at her face. She scrambled to get up into her fighting stance. She glared at the large blue demon bearing down on her and kicked out with a stomp kick. The demon stumbled backwards, landing on one knee and Buffy rushed forwards and jumped on the demon's knee for leverage. She swung out her other knee and rammed it into the side of the demon's large weird shaped head.  </p><p>The slayer landed with a grin. It wasn’t often she was able to pull of a shining wizard. She wished someone was watching her fight tonight. Buffy spun to see the blue demon laying on it’s back on the ground. She pulled out her trusty Mr. Pointy and spun it in her hand.</p><p>"Say goodnight-” Buffy gasped, “Jamie!"  </p><p>Buffy hid her stake behind her back and stepped away from the blue demon grunting at her feet.</p><p>"What are you doing out here?" Buffy said.</p><p>She tried to think of what to do. She was standing over a demon that Jamie could very obviously see it. She wondered how much he'd seen. Had he seen her fighting it?</p><p>Jamie walked over to Buffy and reached out a hand while he stared at the large blue demon with wide eyes. Buffy took his hand as she looked down at the demon, judging it was still dizzy.</p><p>"We should get out of here," Jamie said.</p><p>"Yeah! Totally!" Buffy said.</p><p>She yanked on Jamie's hand and the two ran away from the blue demon before it got back up.</p><p>After running a few blocks, Jamie stopped Buffy. He bent over panting.</p><p>"Hold on," he said.</p><p>"What was that?" Buffy said.</p><p>She was trying to play dumb. She didn't want Jamie to know about Sunnydale's underbelly.</p><p>"No idea," Jamie said.</p><p>He looked at Buffy and the two stared at one another. They were still holding hands.</p><p>"Will you walk me home?" she asked.</p><p>Jamie nodded and the two set off walking at a slower pace.</p><p>When Jamie left Buffy at the college campus, he went back to the cemetery to look for the blue demon. He didn't find it and he kicked the ground as he grew angry.</p><p>"That lying bitch!" he grumbled, "At least she didn't kill it."  </p><p>Jamie glared around the dark cemetery before he headed home.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike spent the next few days making Stelle clippings and cleaning up the burned-out house. He gutted the rooms and transferred hundreds of the tiny Stelle clippings from the dirt covered foyer to the new plant rooms. He spaced them out so each grow could grow about four feet by four feet. Leaving only the bedroom, with the big puffy bed, devoid of plants.</p><p>After he'd finished cleaning up the foyer, Spike craved a beer or eight. He ran a hand thru his hair and threw on his coat.  </p><p>Halfway to Willies, he realized he wasn't wearing the silver ring anymore. He'd taken it off when he was cleaning the house. Spike remembered leaving it next to the kitchen sink and he made a mental note to grab it as he continued to the bar. He needed to relax on a bar stool with a few beers.  </p><p>He caught a footy game on the bar's TV, before doing a quick sweep around town to scout for Drusilla. He didn’t find her. Every night, it was the same thing. Spike searched for Drusilla, and could tell she was still in town, but without fail he couldn't seem to find her.  </p><p>Giving up for the night, he headed back to the Stelle house.  </p><p>Spike stopped walking when he'd heard the slayer fighting in the distance. He circled the area and spied Xander and his little werewolf friend talking off the side. Buffy traded quips with the lone vampire until she stabbed it's heart with her stake. Spike kept to the shadows as he lurked on them.  </p><p>Xander and Oz rejoined the slayer, once the fight was over, and the trio exited the Sunnydale cemetery.</p><p>Buffy turned to the guys.</p><p>"I guess this is where I get off," she said.</p><p>"Have fun!" Xander said.</p><p>"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Oz said.  </p><p>Buffy laughed and waved as she walked off.</p><p>The two men continued across the grass to Oz's waiting van.  </p><p>"Hop in," Oz said.  </p><p>Xander stood next to the van, "You know, I think I'm just gonna walk."</p><p>Oz stared at Xander, asking if he was sure.</p><p>Xander held up his stake and cross.  </p><p>"I'll be fine," Xander said.</p><p>Oz stared at Xander a moment longer and then nodded. He opened the van door and climbed into the drivers seat.</p><p>Xander waited until Oz drove away before he turned around to walk back into the cemetery. He knew that the cemetery was clear, since they'd just finished a sweep, and it was quicker for him to backtrack thru the cemetery to get home.  </p><p>He stopped at Spike's crypt, knocked and waited. When he heard no response, he pushed open the door and glanced around. It was empty. Xander closed the door and headed home. He kept hold of his cross as he walked.</p><p>Spike watched Harris deny his friend's ride and walk back into the cemetery. He followed along and found himself curious as he watched the whelp stop by his old crypt. Spike wondered why the human was alone. Harris knew better then to be out at night alone. Sunnydale wasn't safe for humans.  </p><p>The vampire decided to play with the mortal. He wanted to teach Harris a lesson-to make a point. He started by making Xander aware that there was something following him. Spike let the human's ear pick up on a random footfall. He made slight noises, letting the whelp scare himself mentally, with sounds of growling and breathing from the depths of darkness. Spike never let the human see him, but he knew that Harris knew something was following him. The human's heart was racing.</p><p>Spike knew that he could kill the human now, but he didn’t feel that it was the right time. Not only was he still charmed by the other reality's Xander, but he still also needed to sell the Stelle to get enough money to get his chip out. And he couldn't afford anything botching up his plan. He had to have patience.  </p><p>Instead, Spike focused on taunting and teasing the human. Xander was running scared and Spike was gleefully giving chase. The vampire found his own blood burbling with excitement as he raced after the human. It had been so long since he'd given chase. So long since someone ran from him. Spike put on a burst of speed and jumped up the side of a building. He detoured the human at the end of an alley with a deep growl. Xander ran the other way.</p><p>The vampire smirked as Xander rushed in whatever direction he maneuvered him in. Spike forgot how fun playing with the food was. He smirked and knocked over a two by four that leaned against a wall. He watched the human jump in his skin before skedaddling down a different alleyway.  </p><p>Spike forced the whelp to run down a dead-end alley, a typical evil move, and grinned. He wondered how the human's heart hadn't exploded yet. Spike waited until Harris got to the end of the alley, let him realize he'd fallen right into the trap, and then he jumped down like a cat in front of him.</p><p>Xander yelled, in fright. He clutched a cross as he grabbed his chest and laughed.</p><p>"Oh, god! It's you," Xander said, “Damn! You scared me.”</p><p>Xander was still scared but he was looking over and around the blond.  </p><p>Spike glared. Was he so innocuous to the human? Infuriated, the vampire concluded that Harris needed a real lesson.</p><p>"Only an idiot runs into a dead-end alley, Harris."</p><p>Spike moved forward, dropped his human face and lunged at the whelp's throat. He figured the whelp would respect him more if he knew that he was edible.</p><p>Xander froze, back pressed as flat as it could up against the dead end brick wall.</p><p>‘Now you're getting it,' Spike thought.  </p><p>The vampire closed his eyes as he sucked in large gulps of Xander's blood. It was heavenly. Then he reared back in pain as a metal cross pressed against his cheek. Spike winced as he heard his flesh sizzle. Then he snorted and backed up from the Scooby.  </p><p>Spike stared at the human as his face smoked. Xander held his cross out in front of him with one hand and his other hand covered his wounded throat. He sputtered. “The chip?”</p><p>Spike licked the human’s ketchup off his lips and grinned, “Still got it… Seems there’s something wrong with you, pet.”</p><p>Xander stared at Spike in terror as he neared the opening of the alley.</p><p>Spike smirked and watched the human turn and run for his life. Xander never once looked back.</p><p>Spike wondered if the whelp was gonna go rat him out to the Slayer now. Whatever. He couldn’t help himself. He’d wanted to taste the whelp’s blood again so damn much.</p><p>The vampire ran and jumped up onto the nearest building and began jumping from building to building. He soon caught up to the scurrying scared mortal and followed him home.  </p><p>He stood in the shadows across the street watching as Harris let himself into the house. Once the human was indoors, Spike headed back to the Stelle house.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike stayed away from the Scoobies for a couple days in case Buffy wanted a piece of him for biting her pal. Meanwhile, he worked on his Stelle. The plants indeed grew fast. He'd already set up the unfinished basement as a drying room and it took a lot more work then he expected. There was always something to do whether it be hauling water or pruning. He was grateful for it, since it allowed him time to let the slayer cool off. He felt like a idiot for biting the whelp, but it was what it was.  </p><p>Earlier tonight, Spike met up with Avery to dispose of his cursed object. It turned out to be a hand. The two vampires drove out on the dark waters to a remote location. They launched the cursed hand, and it's heavy metal encasement, overboard.  Then Spike and Avery chatted as they rode the moonlit ocean back to the dock. Avery asked Spike what he wanted for compensation and all Spike told him was that he wanted Avery to owe him a favor.</p><p>Avery agreed with a confused grin and Spike extended his hand for the two to shake on it. They parted soon after and then Spike was wandering back across town towards Stewart street.  </p><p>Spike was still thinking on his encounter with the blond vampire as he wandered through town. He took one last drag off his cigarette and flicked the butt aside. He smirked as he caught sight of the Slayer up ahead holding hands with a lanky, dark-skinned man.  </p><p>Spike sniffed. Why did he recognize the man's smell? Well, it was no matter. Now was a great time to see the slayer’s reaction to him. She couldn’t attack him in front of a regular Joe.</p><p>"Oi! Wait up!" he said.</p><p>Spike sprinted over to the two and stopped in front of them. He pursed his lips as he smelled Drusilla. Where the hell was she hiding?</p><p>"Spike," Buffy said.</p><p>"Lovely night out," he replied.</p><p>The vampire grinned as Buffy tugged on Jamie's shirt sleeve.</p><p>"We should go," she said.</p><p>Spike looked at the slayer's new boyfriend, "Do I know you?"</p><p>"No, I don't believe we've met," the man said, "I'm Jamie. Jamie Caledonia."</p><p>Spike looked down at the offered hand and then back into the man’s light blue eyes.</p><p>"Right," he said.</p><p>Spike took a breath and realized that the man wasn't fully human. Not only that, but he felt like he'd met the mutt before, but he couldn't put his finger on where.</p><p>Buffy tugged on Jamie's hand clasped in hers, "We should get going,"</p><p>"Sure," Jamie said.</p><p>The two lovebirds smiled and said goodbye to Spike before walking away.  </p><p>Spike stared after them wondering where he'd met Jamie before. He knew the name was familiar, he’d raided the Caledonia house a while ago.  </p><p>Spike stared after the couple and saw Jamie turn around to look over his shoulder at him. Spike felt drawn into the human's gaze and he blinked when the gaze broke.  </p><p>He stood there staring after them, long after they disappeared.  </p><p>Why couldn't he remember where he'd seen the man before? And why did he smell like Dru?</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>The next night the Scooby gang crammed inside Giles condo, alongside half of the LA group. They gathered to pool resources, but there were too many bodies in such a tight space. Already, there were a few instances of Giles having to tell people "That's enough!” in his adult voice.  </p><p>Angel could see Giles nearing his breaking point and he had an inkling that he could help with the problem. He still held the deed to the mansion on Crawford street. He would never admit aloud that he often capitalized on things his evil self did, but that didn't stop him from doing it. Angel excused himself from the party and signaled to Faith that he would be fine going off on his own.  </p><p>While Angel was off figuring out real-estate, Spike showed up. He squeezed into the condo and propped himself up against a wall next to a brunet girl. He saw Harris watching him, yet nobody said anything to him that was out of the ordinary. Taking it as a good sign, Spike acted like he was part of the crew and focused his attention on riling up the brunet girl that stood next to him. She appeared out of her depth and, from the look on Red’s face, unwelcome.</p><p>When Angel returned, he saw Spike antagonizing Faith about her revealing wardrobe, and sighed. This whole trip was taking it's toll on him already and it had only just begun.</p><p>"Spike," Angel said.</p><p>The older vampire's tone was threatening and Spike turned to eye Angel with a petulant smirk.</p><p>"Sire," Spike said.</p><p>Angel glared, "Knock it off."</p><p>Angel focused on the rest of people in the room, "Giles, I verified that the mansion on Crawford street is empty. I figured it would be better for us to use the mansion as a meeting place instead of your home."</p><p>Giles immediately stood up, "What a marvelous idea, Angel!"</p><p>Angel bit down on his smirk.</p><p>"Thanks, Angel,” Buffy said, “That's a great idea."</p><p>Angel wanted to circumvent any focus on his plan, "Faith? We should go get our stuff from the motel. We'll stay at the mansion."</p><p>"And have these schmucks traipsing in and out?" Faith said.</p><p>Angel shook his head, "You'll have your own room."</p><p>Faith shrugged and moved towards the door, "Fine by me."</p><p>"That's weird, isn't it?" Spike said. "That you still have the deed?"  </p><p>"Shut up Spike," Angel said.</p><p>Angel glared at the bleached blond vampire as he held the front door open for Faith.</p><p>Giles began loading books and tomes into crates. He told Willow, when she asked, that he was going to stuff his car before heading over to the mansion.  </p><p>Buffy said she was going to do a quick patrol on her way over. Willow decided she’d go with Buffy, since she wanted to stop off at home to get some magic books.  </p><p>Xander turned to Spike, "You want to walk over with me?"  </p><p>Spike blinked at Harris, wondering what his deal was.</p><p>Xander flushed, "Monster magnet, remember? I'm sure I’ll lure out something for you to pulverize."  </p><p>Spike squinted at Harris, giving him a once over, "That's the truth, innit?”</p><p>Xander cleared his throat and looked away from the vampire as he commenced his plan. He was going to figure out what the hell was going on between the two of them… Even if it killed him.</p><p>Spike stood, "Fine, let's go."  </p><p>Xander closed his book and stood up. The two exited the condo and started walking. Spike lit a smoke as soon as they reached the watcher's courtyard.  </p><p>Xander waffled in his head on how to broach the subject. He knew the vampire could hurt him now and he didn’t want to say the wrong thing.  </p><p>The two walked in silence, Spike scouring the area while they walked. </p><p>The vampire knew the whelp was afraid of him now since the human didn’t speak a word and normally he’d talk a mile a minute. What perplexed him most was why Harris hadn’t ran off to tell his friends.</p><p>Xander pulled a lollipop out of his pocket and admitted to himself that he was procrastinating as he unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth.</p><p>Spike struggled to not look at Harris. Watching Harris sucking on the sucker reminded him of the night the mortal had sucked on him in much the same fashion.</p><p>They walked through the cemetery and Spike told Harris that he had to make a pit stop at his crypt. The two entered and Spike waltzed in and tossed the casket's stone slab down on the ground where it burst into hundreds of pieces. Xander jumped at the noise but stayed silent in the doorway.</p><p>Spike riffled around in the casket. He wanted to be sure he hadn't missed anything in his move to the new house. He found some cash he’d forgotten he’d stashed in Jeff the skeleton’s shirt pocket. He also found a crumpled-up piece of paper. He stuffed both in his pocket and scoured the crypt over with his eyes to make sure he didn’t forget anything.  </p><p>Spike then made a beeline towards one of the stone gargoyles in the far corner.  </p><p>This was the reason he'd come.</p><p>Xander watched as the vampire picked up the gargoyle statue and threw it to the ground. It burst apart like the stone slab had. Spike knelt down and dusted off a small box that emerged from the broken statue. He picked it up. It was a small rectangle made of wood. About 6 inches long and 3 inches high. It couldn't contain much.  </p><p>"What's that?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike closed his eyes when he heard the sucker slurp out of the mortal's mouth. He was glad he wasn't facing the human. He kept his back to Harris, ignoring the question, as he stuffed the box into his duster pocket. He spun around, strut passed the human and exited the crypt.  </p><p>As he took a deep breath of the outside air he looked back at the crypt and smirked. That would be the last time he ever set foot there.</p><p>Harris joined Spike's side, still sucking on his infuriating lollipop.  </p><p>Spike turned to hoof it to the mansion and Xander fell into step beside him. The vampire grew annoyed with the lascivious sounds the whelp was putting off. He reached over, snagged the sucker from out of his hand, and tossed it into the bushes.</p><p>"Hey!" Xander said.</p><p>The human stopped walking and Spike kept his pace. He smirked as the mortal huffed and then ran to catch up with him again.</p><p>"You're a dick," Xander said.</p><p>Spike stopped walking and Xander ran into the back of him and fell back to the ground with a wince.</p><p>Xander looked up from his seat on the ground with a glare, "Dammit, Spike!"</p><p>Xander lifted his hands up to inspect them and could see tiny beads of gravel under his skin. Pinpricks of blood welled on the surface. He brushed his hands together and groaned as he stood up. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped when he looked around.  </p><p>There was a large pool of blood and a long red smear leading off elsewhere. Xander followed the path with his eyes.</p><p>"Damn... That's a lot of blood," he said.</p><p>Xander gulped and looked at Spike.</p><p>"And body parts…" Spike said.</p><p>Spike moved forward and followed the blood trail, walking along beside it.  </p><p>Xander followed the vampire a bit further behind. They passed strings of entrails and Xander gagged when he saw a lone ripped up foot with what looked like ground beef poking out of it.</p><p>"You gonna toss yer cookies?" Spike said as he glanced back at the human.</p><p>Xander shook his head and lifted the neck of his t-shirt up to cover his nose and mouth.  </p><p>"No, but holy hell does it stink."</p><p>Spike looked around, sniffed, and started walking again.</p><p>The two of them delved deeper into the darkness.  </p><p>Xander's heart raced. He couldn't see much and he shrieked in fright as he got tackled through the midriff. He landed on the ground, gasping. He couldn't breathe. He panicked as he tried to take in breath and couldn't.</p><p>His vision filled with the necrotic visage of a zombie trying to bite his face and Xander instinctively flailed his arms up to defend himself.</p><p>Spike tore the zombie off Xander and flung it away.</p><p>Xander lay gasping for air. Once he got his breathing under control he looked around to see Spike still fighting with the same Zombie. Xander squinted and crawled to standing. He watched as the zombie clawed down Spike's arm. Xander clutched his sore abdomen and shouted, "What the hell are you doing?"</p><p>Spike glanced at Harris and then back to the zombie. He kicked out hard and the zombie stumbled backwards into a pile of  useless limbs. Spike glanced around and spied a shovel lying nearby. He grabbed it and moved to kick the zombie again as it was ambling up to it's knees. The vampire used the shovel to cleave the zombies head in half and then he tossed the shovel aside and turned to the mortal. "Defending your honor, can't you tell?"</p><p>The vampire smirked and Xander snorted and brushed off his clothes.</p><p>Spike inspected the arm of his coat as he stepped up to the mortal's side.  </p><p>Xander wondered what Spike's problem was. There was no excuse for a one zombie fight to take that long. It was one freakin' zombie! Even, a human could take out one zombie.  </p><p>The two fell into step and walked back out onto the moonlight streets.  </p><p>Xander wanted to talk to Spike, he wanted to figure out what was going on between them, but his words wouldn't come out. The two walked the rest of the way towards Crawford street in silence.</p><p>Xander reached out and grabbed Spike sleeve as the vampire reached out for the mansion door knob. Spike stopped and looked down at his arm.  </p><p>Xander pulled away and started to fidget, "Spike, look-"</p><p>He didn't know what he wanted to say, so he left it hanging as he stared at the vampire.</p><p>Spike leaned forward, lifting a hand to grip his jaw. Xander froze. The vampire stepped closer. Before he knew it, Xander found himself participating in a kiss. A very pleasant kiss. A few very pleasant kisses. Xander's thoughts were running a mile a second in the back of his mind. He knew for sure that this time he was kissing Spike back. He couldn’t deny it. Not when he was currently thinking, “This is nice” as the cool lips pressed against his own.</p><p>Spike tilted his head to deepen the kiss and let his tongue slide out to lick at Xander’s lips. Xander reared back his head and banged it against the door. He stared at Spike with wide, shocked eyes. His mouth was open and he sucked in great gasps of air.</p><p>The vampire smirked and shifted his weight. The shadows careened across his face as Xander watched him with wide eyes. Spike turned and walked away and Xander stared after him until his blond head disappeared in the distance.</p><p>When he knew he was alone, he let himself groan, "Ugh, not again!"  </p><p>Xander’s shoulders slumped and he turned to knock on the mansion door before he pushed it open and entered without an invite.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike entered the Stelle house and shut the door. He lay back against the wood and closed his eyes as he let his head fall back.  </p><p>He sucked on his bottom lip, then licked his lips while he revisited the latest kiss with Harris. Of course, kissing this whelp was nothing like kissing Xander, but they both tasted the same.  </p><p>The vampire took an unneeded breath. He couldn’t believe how smitten he was with the slayer's white knight. He lifted his head and opened his eyes to stare across the foyer at the huge Stelle plant. He grinned as he saw his novice attempts at pruning. It was a hack job.  </p><p>Spike pushed himself off of the door and forced himself to get back to work. The Stelle multiplied exponentially and it seemed there was always more work for him to do. He moved through the house towards the kitchen with a self-satisfied grin. He couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he puttered around the house. His mind kept replaying the moment when Xander's shock gave way and the mortal kissed him back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Stelle Siren Songs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Buffy and Willow sifted through their respective closets on either side of their dorm room. Both were getting ready for dates. Buffy pulled a blue Chinese fan down from a shelf and began fanning herself with it as she searched for an outfit with her other hand. She babbled to Willow about how cool it was to finally have a nice, normal, human boyfriend.  </p><p>Willow listened to her friend ramble on and on about how cute, funny, and intelligent Jamie was until the blond finished her monologue.</p><p>“I’m so glad you’re happy, Buffy,” Willow put in.</p><p>Buffy stared at her friend, fanning herself as she watched Willow hold up a puke colored dress against her body. Buffy snapped her fan shut and shooed the ugly dress away while making incomprehensible oofing noises. Willow laughed and tossed the offending dress to the floor. Buffy glared down at the garment like it offended her.  </p><p>Willow reentered her closet with a laugh, “O-kay, that one’s definitely out...”</p><p>Willow continued speaking over her shoulder, “I mean it, Buffy. It’s great that Jamie’s so great. I know I wasn’t around during your breakup with Riley, but I’m glad you’ve found someone to help you move past it.”</p><p>Buffy snapped her fan open to wave it at herself but then snapped it closed again to point it at Willow.</p><p>“Hey. Stop feeling guilty! We’ve talked about this. And it is great. He’s great. I’m finally done waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’s not demonic or trying to kill me. He’s just... a regular Joe.”</p><p>The girls shared a grin and Buffy flicked open the blue fan and maneuvered the air around her face with it, “I know, I know. I’m swooning. Let’s change the subject. Tell me about you. How have you been? You’re smiling, but I feel like there’s something going on.”</p><p>Willow backed away from the closet as her shoulders slouched, “Huh. Look who’s perceptive girl today.”</p><p>“So, there is something...” Buffy said, “I wasn’t sure... What is it? Spill.”</p><p>Willow took a deep breath and reached out for a shimmering shirt sleeve dangling in her closet. She touched it and then let her hand fall, “Yeah, I don’t know. I mean there’s some things on my mind… lots of different feelings… Lots of confusion…”</p><p>Buffy’s eyebrows drew together as she realized the situation was worse than she expected. Willow was disjoint about something; she was talking in fragments. Buffy crossed the room and grabbed Willow’s hand to lead her over to the bed. They sat there looking at one another.  </p><p>“You know you can tell me anything. Right?” Buffy said, “What’s going on?”</p><p>Willow pursed her lips as she shrugged, “It’s… complicated.”</p><p>“Well, then talk to me. I’ll listen. Promise...”</p><p>Willow didn’t say anything, and Buffy continued, “Sometimes it helps... to talk it out so that you can work through it...”</p><p>Willow worried her bottom lip and then nodded before and took a deep breath. She drew her hand away from Buffy.  </p><p>“Alright. You’re right... Right... Well, um, I guess everything started going wrong when... when I started chatting with Oz on messenger about two months ago… Eventually Tara joined in and the three of us had a lot of fun chatting together online... Everything was fine, for the first while, until Tara and I decided to go to LA. We went to visit OZ for the weekend.”</p><p>Buffy nodded, as she recalled the girls disappearing for the weekend road trip.</p><p>“Which was when he had a threesome,” Willow said.</p><p>Buffy froze and sat staring at her friend as she blinked. The blonde’s eyes bulged, but she regained her composure and smiled as she mimicked locking her mouth and throwing away the key.</p><p>Willow chuckled nervously and looked down at her hands in her lap as she continued, “Which was fine as a one off in LA… I guess... But now that Oz is back in Sunnydale it’s... Everything’s different. It’s altered the dynamic between the three of us.”</p><p>Willow squirmed and scooched back further onto the bed while she spoke, “Things have been great, they’re both great people. It’s not that I’m feeling left out or possessive or anything… It’s just that, well, I don’t think that a polyamorous relationship is something I’m built for.”</p><p>Willow paused and cleared her throat, “And, if I’m honest, tonight during dinner, I plan on breaking up with Tara because I think she belongs with Oz.”</p><p>Willow looked at Buffy to gauge her reaction before continuing.</p><p>“I love them both so much, but I can’t help this feeling in my heart that they both belong together. And I can’t get rid of this feeling that I don’t belong with either of them. Everything feels so wrong.”</p><p>Buffy bit her bottom lip as Willow stared at her.</p><p>“I know this all sounds crazy,” Willow said, “It’s… it’s complicated.”</p><p>Buffy sighed as she struggled to find something to say that would ease her friend's mind.</p><p>“Complicated is a good word,” Buffy said.</p><p>The two girls shared a small smile.</p><p>“So… You're seeing Tara tonight?” Buffy asked.</p><p>“Both of them… We’re all going out to dinner.”</p><p>“Where to?”</p><p>“The fox and the hound,” Willow said, ”It’s new.”  </p><p>“Oh, I’ve heard of that one. English fair, right? I’ve heard they put on renaissance fairs and stuff.”</p><p>Willow nodded, “Yep. That’s the one.”</p><p>Buffy looked down at the forgotten fan in her hand and then she turned to her friend, “Well, I don’t know what to say, Wills."</p><p>Willow half laughed, “Me either.”  </p><p>Buffy stared at her friend as the witch stared down at her hands.</p><p>“It’s all so confusing,” Willow murmered.</p><p>Buffy swallowed and stared at her friend.  </p><p>Willow took a deep breath and forced a smile to her face. “I can’t not tell them how I feel, right? So... I guess I’ll just tell them tonight and then whatever happens happens...”</p><p>“How about we meet up afterwards?” Buffy said, “And we can talk about it?”</p><p>“Really, Buffy?” Willow said, “That would be great, thanks.”</p><p>Buffy stood up and fanned herself and then she turned the fan in Willow’s direction, which blew the stray strands of red hair from her face. “Come on, let’s finish getting ready.”</p><p>Willow hopped off the bed as Buffy crossed the room to her closet. Willow stared at Buffy, thankful for her lending an ear. She actually did feel a little better about her predicament.  </p><p>Buffy pulled a sparkly sequined top out of her closet with one hand, “Here, this would look super hot on you,” she said.</p><p>Willow stared at the shirt Buffy held and drew closer to it like a crow, “Ooh, it’s so shiny!”  </p><p>The witch took the garment, held it up against herself and twirled, “Ooh, this is perfect Buffy!”</p><p>“And you have those shoes that match,” Buffy reminded her.</p><p>Willow beamed at her and Buffy grinned back. The girls continued to get dressed and dolled up until they each parted their separate ways.  </p><p>Before they both left the dorm, Buffy reiterated that she’d keep her date with Jamie short so that they could meet up later with a tub of ice-cream to talk it all out.</p><p>“Que sera sera” Buffy sang into Willow’s ear as she gave her a tight hug before the two walked off in different directions.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>When Willow arrived back at her dorm, later that night, her face was tear streaked. Her makeup was running down her cheeks and she had a wad of sticky tissues in her hand.</p><p>“Buffy?” she said.</p><p>Willow looked around the dorm and saw it was in the same state as when they left. Buffy hadn’t returned yet. The red head tossed her tissues in the trash and turned on the radio. She shucked off her fancy clothes and put on some soft pajamas. Then she started to tidy up the clothes strewn all over the room. She'd pause for intermittent sobs as her mind replayed the dinner she’d come from.</p><p>She’d done what she thought was right. She’d broken up with Tara. She'd also told Tara and Oz that she believed they belonged together. As much as it hurt, Willow knew that she’d done the right thing. She felt lighter, even while her heart felt like it was a lead weight.</p><p>Willow sniffed and looked around at the clean room. She checked the clock and wondered where Buffy was before deciding to pick up a paperback book from a stray pile. She figured reading was the perfect medicine. She needed to keep her mind busy.</p><p>Willow read the title of the book and saw it was the ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’. She settled into her bed, cozy underneath the covers, and started reading.</p><p>After an hour or so, Willow looked up and glanced at the door. She checked the clock and wondered again where Buffy was. She hoped she was alright.  </p><p>Willow got up from the bed, turned on the bedside lamp and shut off the main light. She then hopped back into bed and snuggled under her blankets. She cuddled around her book again as she decided that come tomorrow, she was going to take a page out of Anne frank’s book. She wouldn’t focus on looking outwards for love anymore. Instead, she was going to keep her head down, wish for the best, and concentrate on her studies. Willow cemented her plan of action as slumber took her.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander lay sprawled out on his pulled out hideabed, having just woke up. He’d covered another graveyard shift last night followed by a day shift and was now awake after 6 hours sleep. He groaned and stretched and saw that it was dark outside.</p><p>He lay in bed thinking about his latest dream. He couldn’t remember much, except that Spike had been kissing him.  </p><p>Xander reached his hands under the covers and gripped his erection as he replayed the dream. He pulled on himself as he settled further back into the mattress. He enjoyed the sensation while he fantasized. As he increased the friction, he realized his fantasy of ‘dream Spike’ was morphing into ‘trapped in the alley Spike’ and in his minds eye he watched the vampire sink his teeth into his neck.</p><p>Freaked out by his desires, Xander dropped his dick like it was on fire. He’d been fine thinking about Spike, sure- that was his guilty little pleasure; but thinking about the vampire being demonic was a bit much.</p><p>Xander opened his eyes and stared at the roof as he sighed and willed away his erection. When it half receded, he went upstairs for a cool shower. He told himself over and over again that he really needed to get out of the house and try to find a real live girl.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike heard the electro-synth pop pouring out of the bronze as he walked towards it. He sniffed and caught a whiff of sweat, alcohol and an undercurrent of demonic blood. He grinned as he sauntered into the club. What was happening in here tonight?</p><p>Scanning the throngs of humans bumping and gyrating together, the vampire lurked around the walls. He scoped the place out as he made his way up the staircase to the second-floor foyer. He leaned over the railing and spied Harris dancing with a group of random strangers in the middle of the dance floor. The human was shaking his booty with anyone that came near him and his real friends were nowhere in sight.</p><p>Spike stared down at the whelp. The human was open and laughing and having a wonderful time with a pretty woman that sidled up to him. Spike scanned the woman and snorted. Of course, the berk would pull a bloody succubus.</p><p>Underneath the flashing strobe lights, feeling physically moved by the pounding bass, Xander let his body bop around with abandon. He’d showed up at the bronze bored. Not knowing what to do with himself. It was his weekend and he didn’t want to waste it. Since all his friends were busy with date nights Xander decided to take himself out on a date to the Bronze.  </p><p>Dancing with a pretty girl in a red polka dot dress, Xander grinned and shook his butt at her like a goofball. Her red lips widened, and she threw her head back with a raucous laugh as she danced beside him. Xander grinned as he started dancing again. He felt great. He was having a blast. Though, he could use some aqua. It was heating up on the dance floor.</p><p>Spike watched from above as the Succubus smiled and flirted with the mortal. He realized he was glaring at the pair of them and he turned to scan the rest of the club before finding his gaze once again back on Harris and the girl. He watched as they left the dance floor together hand in hand.  </p><p>Spike started for the stairs. He’d seen enough and he was done with the noise. The new song kicking up hammered a thumping bass rhythm into his body as he walked passed the speakers. He approached the exit, and overheard the girl tell Xander her name was Lucy. He passed them waiting in line at the bar, and didn't pause. He strode straight through the exit and into the night.  </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander, stood in line at the bar, staring at the girl he was with. She was stunning. He knew she was on a different level then him and he assumed she was demonic. She appeared normal enough when she said her name was Lucy, but Xander knew that it was his unfortunate fate that any beautiful woman attracted to him inevitably turned out to be a demon.</p><p>The two guzzled their water as they watched the bodies on the dance floor bouncing along to the beat. Lucy took Xander’s empty water bottle and put it down on the bar. She then gave him a seductive smile, grabbed his hand and drew him back onto the dance floor.  </p><p>Xander followed with a grin. He squeezed between bodies, following his hand clenched in Lucy’s.  </p><p>When she stopped in the center of the dance floor, Xander bumped into her and they each laughed. The two continued dancing and became nothing more than faces in the crowd.  </p><p>Xander pushed himself up close to Lucy and wrapped his hands around her waist. He bit his lip as she pushed herself up against him. He fleetingly wondered on the chances that she was a demon and then thought “fuck it” and let himself get lost in the groove of the music.</p><p>Lucy grinned with her devilish red lips and turned her body away. She stayed close, gyrating against him. Xander shivered as his hands gripped the starched ruffles of her skirt. He knew he'd never find happiness with a beautiful woman like Lucy. He kept telling himself to enjoy the moment and boy was he was trying.</p><p>Xander was sweating and euphoric and having a blast. Despite the fun, though, something in the back of his mind was telling him that something was off. Lucy was going to set him on fire or something. He knew this because he was a Scooby. And that made him a Scooby snack. He was a monster magnet. It was his calling, and he knew it.</p><p>It had long ago been established, and reiterated, that the Scooby’s would never be able to find longevity in love or happiness. It just wasn’t done.</p><p>Despite his internal thoughts prophesying doom, Xander tried to ignore the mental warnings and enjoy his dance with the devil.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike made his way out of the club, weaving through the humans carefully as they littered the alleyway. He could hear the bass fade as he walked away. He looked around as he lit a smoke and continued walking in the direction of the Stelle house.  </p><p>He turned around a corner and stopped short from very nearly walking into a human. Luckily, the human stopped as well.</p><p>Spike scowled, resenting himself for being unaware. He didn’t notice the human approaching because he was dwelling on feeling jealous about Xander dancing with the lady in red.  </p><p>He looked at the spooked human in front of him. “Oi, I know you.”  </p><p>Jamie stood before him. It was the slayer's new boyfriend.</p><p>The two stared at one another. Spike couldn’t blink. He couldn’t look away as the man’s light blue eyes morphed black. Spike stared at the human. What the hell was going on?</p><p>"I thought I told you to kill yourself.” Jamie said, “You're pathetic. What would your Sire think?"</p><p>Spike stared into Jamie’s dark eyes and then after a slow blink, where his mind was taken over with darkness, he blinked again and noticed Jamie was gone. </p><p>Spike glanced around, perplexed. He was still standing on the street corner. The bronze was behind him. He could hear the beat of music on the air, but the song was different. Spike dropped his dead cigarette butt and scanned the area confused. His eyes opened in surprise as he saw Buffy’s boyfriend standing a far way down the street. When had he move there? Jamie stood on the yellow middle line, looking off to one side.  </p><p>Spike stared. His mind felt clouded. He blinked and squinted at the human standing in the road. What the hell was going on? Did the Slayers boyfriend put some mojo on him?</p><p>A massive shadow slunk from the shadows and onto the road beside Jamie. The massive beast prowled around Jamie on all fours like a black demonic tiger.</p><p>Spike’s eyes widened as he took it in. He wondered what sort of entity it was as he muttered curse after curse under his breath.  </p><p>Jamie extended an arm towards him and the massive shadow beast bolted down the asphalt towards him.</p><p>Spike watched as it approached at breakneck speed. He knew that he couldn’t outrun it. Instead he settled into a fighting stance and waited for the beast to come at him.  </p><p>As it got closer, its features unmasked themselves. It was a human-shaped demonic dog covered in black scaly skin. It had three slavering heads and jowls filled with massive sharp teeth. It ran on all four legs but as it came in for the attack it reared up on its hind humanoid legs and lunged its claws towards the vampire.</p><p>Spike jammed out his foot to stomp kick the demonic dog in midair. The force of impact dropped them both to the ground. They both scrambled up at the same time and the demon lunged at the vampire again.</p><p>Spike dodged and parried the demon’s three ferocious heads as he heard the Slayer’s boyfriend, Jamie, saunter away laughing.</p><p>Spike grunted as the demon clawed down his arm and made him refocus on the battle.  </p><p>The two demons exchanged several nasty blows. They were both spitting and snarling and giving it their all. Unfortunately, Spike could tell he was going down if something didn’t give. He vowed that if he died, at least he’d take the demon dog down with him.  </p><p>Spike howled and gnashed his teeth as the top of his ear was bitten off. He scrambled in the demon’s grip and just about wriggled away when the demon dog latched onto his arm and ripped open his bicep and the leather of his jacket.  </p><p>Spike yowled in anger about his torn coat. Filling with adrenalin, he growled and punched into the face of the left most head. The jowls were open, and Spike’s fist continued deep inside. He stuffed his hand deep into the demon’s tooth filled maw, gripped it’s tongue, and yanked it out. The demon’s other two heads yelped and growled like beaten dogs as the tongue-less head lolled to the side and bled out.</p><p>Spike gave a war cry and lunged at the demon. He shoved aside it’s two working heads and chomped down on the flesh between them. His fangs slid into the demon’s neck, the black skin parting easily despite the scales. Spike drank and then he choked and gagged. Sputtering, he jumped back and spat the black blood out. His eyes went wide as he wiped black ichor from his mouth, aghast.  </p><p>“Ergh, Yuck!”</p><p>Taken off guard, Spike went flying as the demon dog plowed through his midsection. He landed in a heap with a groan further down the alley. He rolled onto his back in time to see the demon dog snarling as it jumped towards him.  </p><p>Spike scooched back, holding his hands up to block the demon’s snapping jaws. He got his feet under himself and stood up in a fighting stance while batting away the angry heads. The demon dog leapt forwards, jumped up on him, and raked it’s claws down the front of him.</p><p>Spike gasped as he was forced back against a wall. He glanced down to see that it wasn’t as bad as he thought. Not as bad as last time, at any rate. An image flashed through his mind of Harris nearly retching as he fumbled with his intestine while stuffing them back into his open stomach. Spike sucked in a deep breath and his eyes narrowed. He fortified his strength to pummel the demon. He wanted to see what happened with Harris and the only thing in the way of that was this bloody dog demon. Spike saw red.</p><p>Noticing the change in the vampire, the demon took a curious step back before lunging forwards.</p><p>Changing tactics on the fly, Spike made to dodge around the demon. Gassed from the fight, he moved too slow and the demon was able to change directions while launching. The demon dropped onto Spike in a vertical take down, but Spike rolled with the attack and tossed the demon.</p><p>The demon dog righted itself to glare and snarl at the vampire.  </p><p>Spike circled the alley opposite the demon and he flashed his fangs and growled.  </p><p>The demon dog rose up onto two feet again and Spike braced himself as the demon pounced and slammed him back into the stone wall. Spike kneed the demon dog in the groin and it flew back with a yelp. Spike pushed off from the wall as a female scream rent the air.  </p><p>The fight stopped. Spike and the demon dog both paused to look down the alley towards the scream.  </p><p>Standing there, shrieking in shock, stood a dressed-up teenage girl. She finally got a clue and started to run away. The demon dog chased after her, sensing easier prey.  </p><p>As he watched the demon run off, Spike fell back against the wall to hold himself up. He clutched the bricks with his fingertips to keep from falling. Grateful for a moment to escape, Spike inspected his bleeding arm and torso while he forced himself to stumble to the other end of the ally.  </p><p>He listened as the screams petered out. The clicking of the girls high heels on the pavement stopped at the same time. Spike could hear the demonic dog growling as it ravaged the girl’s corpse. He could hear the bones snapping and could envision the mess on main street as he stumbled as far away from it as he could get.</p><p>Spike fumbled halfway back to the Stelle house before he felt he couldn’t walk anymore. He slumped down on the curb and looked down the empty street. He didn’t have the energy to drag himself home. He lay down on the cement and patted down his jacket. He grinned when he was able to salvage a smoke and a lighter. His boot scuffed against the pavement as he lit his smoke.  </p><p>He lay there, sucking back tainted air, as he moped on the side of the road. He didn’t know why he fought so hard to stay alive. It seemed like the universe wanted him dead anyway. He should just lay where he was until the sun came up.  </p><p>He didn’t know why he was doing all this bloody work to stay alive, anyway. His life was trash. He couldn’t feed himself. His Sire abandoned him. And worst of all, he’d somehow acquired some stupid crush on an unattainable human.</p><p>Eventually, the sun started to rise, and Spike forced himself to stop mopping and sit up. He dragged his corpse up and looked around. He realized he was much closer to Harris’s house then his own and figured he’d tell Harris about the demon dog and the slayer’s boy-toy being evil and get it all out of the way.  </p><p>A nagging voice in his head wondered if the Whelp had brought home the succubus, and Spike shook the thought from his head and forced himself to stand up. He put one foot in front of the other and stumbled down the block towards the whelp’s house.  </p><p>He thought more about Harris and the Succubus, as he grew closer, unable to remove the thought from his mind. He knew he shouldn’t care what Harris did, that Harris in this reality had no ties to him besides the scar on his throat. A sharp stab of jealousy unfurled in his belly as he thought about his claim mark. In vampire law, by all rights, he owned the mortal... But in a slayers town, the vampire knew the claim scar was nothing more then a gnarly scar. Spike growled to himself as he walked, he should have just let the demon dog eat his heart out.</p><p>When he arrived at the whelp’s door, the sun was hot on his heels. He banged on the door and leaned his body and head against the doorjamb.</p><p>“Please answer,” he muttered into the wood.</p><p>Hearing no noise from within the house, Spike glanced back at the approaching dawn and dropped to his knees to pick the lock.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Buffy gasped as she woke up. She looked around blinking and found herself in complete darkness. She pulled her limbs close to her body and shivered. She struggled to remember her last memories. She was walking home from her date with Jamie. She was going to meet up with Willow. And then… nothing.  </p><p>Buffy bit her lip and felt around her body with tentative fingers. She realized there was a metal cuff around her ankle and she tried to keep her mind steady. She couldn’t afford to freak out.</p><p>She wondered if she'd been drugged. She couldn’t remember.  </p><p>Unable to investigate more than the three feet radius allowed by the unbreakable chain attached to her, Buffy sat on a cold stone floor and curled her arms around herself as she waited to see who had taken her captive.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander lay on his bed with Lucy straddling him. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Lucy was drop dead gorgeous. Someone well outside of Xander’s league. Yet here she was sitting on top of him. Xander bit his lip to prove to himself he wasn’t hallucinating as his mind reeled with memories of Faith straddling him in the same aggressive fashion.  </p><p>Xander pulled Lucy down for a kiss to wash away the memory. The two dueled tongues and then Xander jumped as Lucy bit him.</p><p>“Ouch!” Xander said, “You ‘it my tongue,”</p><p>Lucy smiled sweetly and lowered herself for another kiss. Xander kissed Lucy, cradling her face like how Anya used to enjoy being kissed, but Lucy was having none of it. She swept her tongue into Xander’s mouth and took complete control.  </p><p>Taken back by her dominance, Xander tried to push Lucy’s face away when he felt her bite his tongue again. He pushed at the slight girl on top of him and then began to panic when she resisted.  </p><p>Xander opened his eyes as Lucy continued to smush her mouth against his. He strained to fight the small slip of a girl off but felt his strength sapping from him. Weakness infused him and he sucked in a deep breath from his nose while forcefully turning his head to the side, “Hey!” he said, “Wait!”</p><p>Xander struggled to talk. He was exhausted, “Wait! Wait!”</p><p>Lucy stared down at him with feral red eyes.  </p><p>Xander gulped in air as he peered up at the demonic woman straddling him. He realized that he was right earlier. Of course, Lucy was a demon. Xander’s mind helpfully supplied him with her species with old remembered knowledge. Seeing the color of her eyes, and knowing he was getting the energy sucked out of him with a kiss. Xander was able to deduce that Lucy was a succubus.  </p><p>“I should tell you… before you kill me…,” Xander panted, “Ya know, in case it changes anything…”</p><p>Lucy looked at him and raised a dark eyebrow.</p><p>“I’m, um… William the Bloody… He, uh, he marked me.” Xander said.</p><p>He used the last of his strength to turn his head to the other side and showcase the scar on his throat.  </p><p>Lucy stared at his neck and scrutinized the vampire’s mark.</p><p>Xander got his breath under control as watched the beautiful girl in front of him. He thought that it served him right for being in this predicament. A beautiful smoke show of a girl like Lucy would of course be demonic to even look at him.</p><p>Lucy muttered something as she scrambled off Xander. He didn’t catch it. Instead, he watched as she stood by the bed righting her dress and hair.</p><p>“Ah,” Lucy said, “You’ll have to excuse me, then. I make it a rule not to get involved in vampire drama.”</p><p>Xander gaped at Lucy with wide eyes. He couldn’t believe it worked. He'd read about the status of vampire bites in the watchers diaries recently, but he'd never seen it first hand. Xander blinked in surprise at how much weight Spike’s name still held despite his chipped status.</p><p>Xander watched as Lucy grabbed her purse and high heels before heading towards the door. Xander made to rise his tired body to followed her but he was unable to.  </p><p>He lifted his head as much as he could, “It was, uh, nice meeting you,”</p><p>He heard a tinkle of laughter before Lucy said, “A pleasure, I’m sure.”</p><p>He heard the door open and then, “Kind regards to your Master.”</p><p>The door clicked closed and Xander frowned. He closed his eyes, thinking. He didn’t like the sound of that. Spike wasn’t his master. Before he could dwell on anything else, sleep swallowed him.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Willow woke up with a shaft of sunlight in her eye. She squinted and stretched as she heard the birds chirping beyond the window. She opened her eyes and twisted her head to see the book lying beside her.  </p><p>Willow sat up and scanned the dorm room for Buffy. When she didn't see her, she jumped out of bed and got dressed while she phoned Giles.  </p><p>Buffy hadn’t returned. This was bad.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>"WAKE UP!"  </p><p>Xander sat up as if zapped by lightning and gasped and glanced around the basement with unseeing eyes.  </p><p>His heart was pounding as he lay back down and tried to calm himself. What kind of dream was that?  </p><p>He closed his eyes and tried to recall what his dream was about. He couldn't remember. All he knew was that someone yelled into his ear really loud. Was it a nightmare? Xander sighed. He couldn't remember having any dreams. Instead, memories of the night before came to him, unbidden.  </p><p>His recent run in with Lucy the succubus flooded his thoughts. Xander thought of how fast the succubus jumped off of him after learning he'd been marked by a vampire. He sort of felt like the scar on his neck was a get out of jail free card for demons. He figured it was pretty handy for a monster magnet such as himself.  </p><p>Xander rolled over, closing his eyes and groaning as his body radiated pain signals. He lay were he ended up and convinced himself that having the energy sucked out of him by a succubus warranted him sleeping in. He lifted one hand to adjust his pillow and then, as he got comfortable, his bladder woke up and began pestering him. Sighing, as if the weight of the world on his shoulders, Xander opened his eyes and made to crawl out of bed.  </p><p>He froze when he caught sight of Spike sleeping on the Barcalounger.  </p><p>Xander closed his eyes again while he yawned. He rubbed his hand over his face as he asked himself what he did to deserve this.  </p><p>Opening his eyes again, he stared at the vampire across the room. What was Spike doing here? Was it the bleached menace yelling into his ear earlier? Xander shifted to sit up as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. How long had he been sleeping? He saw sunlight leaking in around the edges of the blinds as he searched out the VCR clock. It was 11 am. Xander glanced at the vampire again. He appeared dead asleep.</p><p>With another big yawn, Xander climbed out of the bed. As he did so, the TV remote, which was hidden within his blanket, dropped to the ground and skidded across the floor.</p><p>The vampire’s eyes blinked open, at the same time he opened up a switchblade.  </p><p>Xander turned to see Spike wielding a knife and his eyes widened as he stared at the vampire’s hand.  </p><p>“Uh, what’s up, Spike?”</p><p>The human stood frozen in place as he stared at the knife. He scanned the vampire and saw his pale white hands were covered in blood. He could see one of Spike’s fingernails was ripped clean off and Xander shifted his gaze over the torn leather jacket. Bloody flesh peaked out from between the gouges and scratches that litter the leather. Xander opened his mouth, about to say something, but then shut his mouth when he noticed the vampire missing half his ear. He blinked in shock.</p><p>Spike pressed the button on his knife and the blade retracted. Xander's eyes lowered just in time to see the knife disappear into the vampire’s coat.  </p><p>"What’s the racket?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander answered before he could stop himself, “I dropped the remote.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Spike said.  </p><p>The vampire leaned his head back and closed his eyes again.  </p><p>Xander licked his lips and sat down on the edge of his bed. He was drained from standing. His legs felt like jelly.  </p><p>While staring at the vampire, Xander asked, “What are you doing here?”</p><p>The rustle of Spike’s leather coat, as he wrapped it more firmly around himself, was the only noise in the room. “Needed a place to kip for the day, 'n your place was closest,” he said.</p><p>Xander sighed. He was too tired to care. He glanced around and thought himself fortunate as saw he was sitting next to a basket of clean laundry. His mom must have taken it out of the dryer and thrown it next to his bed while he slept. While he gathered his clothes, it occurred to him that his mom doing laundry meant she’d most likely seen Spike laying in the chair as well.</p><p>Xander pursed his lips together and reached for some socks, acutely aware of the sky-blue eyes watching his every movement. He quickly selected his outfit and a clean towel and then took a moment to brace himself for the trek upstairs.  </p><p>He sat staring at the threads of the towel as his mind reminded him of his meeting with Lucy the night before. He’d nearly been drained by the succubus. It always turned out this way. There was always something demonic in his prospective mates, always. His life was a joke.  </p><p>Xander looked over at the vampire and stared at him as he feigned sleep.</p><p>“I almost died last night,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike snorted, not opening his eyes, “What else is new?”</p><p>Xander glared.</p><p>After a beat Spike continued, “So you ran into a succubus… What happened?”</p><p>Xander stilled, “I didn’t tell you that.”</p><p>“Yeah, well… Saw you two at the bronze last night.” Spike said.</p><p>Xander stared at Spike silently fuming, “Well then why didn’t you warn me that she was a freakin' demon?!”</p><p>Spike opened his eyes to stare at the human. His pupils were beady like a bird. He raised one eyebrow at Xander until the human muttered under his breath, “Evil. Right”, followed by a prolonged sigh as he shook his head.</p><p>Spike’s face relaxed as he shut his eyes.  </p><p>Xander stared at him.</p><p>“I told her about your mark and she let go of me like I was on fire.”</p><p>A smirk appeared on the vampire’s mouth but he didn’t open his eyes. “That so?” Spike said.</p><p>“She said she didn’t want to get involved with vampire drama...”</p><p>Xander wanted to provoke some sort of reaction out of Spike and continued talking, “She was sucking the life out of me and then the second I said your name instantly she backed off.”</p><p>There was no reaction from the vampire. He lay eerily still.</p><p>“Jeez, Spike,” Xander said, “You must have been a real fiend for every demon alive to know your name.”  </p><p>Eyes closed and body not moving, Spike smiled, “Yeah.”</p><p>Xander shook his head and stood up, “Well, I guess I should say thanks for the protection that now affords me.”</p><p>The vampire snorted.</p><p>Xander’s bladder made itself known in an urgent way and he forced himself to move his tired legs. He moved across the room to climb the stairs and made his way up out of the basement. He could feel Spike’s eyes following him. He knew that if he glanced back that the vampire would have his eyes closed, but Xander just didn’t have the energy to turn around and prove it.</p><p>Once in his bathroom, Xander sat down on the toilet and stuffed his dick inside the bowl. He braced his elbows on his thighs and set his head down in his hands. He was so beyond tired. He didn’t know if he’d ever felt this exhausted before. After urinating, he took off his cloths from last night and turned on the shower. He didn’t have the energy, but he really needed a shower. He’d sweat a lot while dancing and smelled ripe.</p><p>He stepped into the shower and leaned against the shower wall as the hot water sprayed over his skin. He began his ritual of turning the water up incrementally until he turned as red as a lobster and then he grabbed the soap and washed himself down while standing under the scalding spray. He washed his hair with a 2 in 1, and once he rinsed it out, he turned the shower up even hotter. He stood with his head under the spray and let the tiny drops of fire rain down on him until he could no longer stand it. Afterwards, he cut off the water and flung the curtain back.</p><p>Xander dried himself down in the steam filled bathroom, dressed in beige kakis’ and a white undershirt, then dried his hair with the damp towel before hanging it up on the towel rack. His hair dripped upon his shoulders as he turned towards the foggy mirror.  </p><p>The bottom of the mirror was already defogged and Xander could see his torso and neck. He stared at the visible bite mark on his throat and his lips twisted to the side. It was an ugly mark, but it did save his life.</p><p>His eyes slid up the mirror to his face, but the top of the mirror was still foggy. Xander stepped away from the vanity, opened the door, and headed out to the kitchen. He chugged half a jug of orange juice, straight from the carton, and then snagged a pack of pop tarts from the cupboard before heading back downstairs.</p><p>Xander saw Spike pull closed his duster as he entered the basement. The vampire was hiding his wounds but not fast enough. Xander saw he was covered in blood.  </p><p>Spike stared at Xander as he descended the stairs. The two continued to stare at one another while Xander moved to sit down on his bed to eat his pop tarts.</p><p>A flash of guilt shot through the human as thought about Spike hurting himself again. Here he was saving his own life with William the Bloody’s name. Meanwhile, William the Bloody was mentally broken and trying to kill himself still. Shit.</p><p>Xander stared at Spike as he chewed. The vampire stared back at him.  </p><p>When he was done eating Xander licked his fingertips and sighed, “Are we going to talk about it?”</p><p>Spike was silent, squinting at Xander with pursed lips. His jaw moved side to side and Xander had to force himself to keep eye contact.</p><p>“There’s lots of things we don’t talk about.” Spike finally said.</p><p>Xander gulped as he stared into the vampire’s eyes and realized that there were indeed many things that they didn’t talk about. Especially the odd random kissage. Xander’s stomach dropped at the thought of broaching such topics.</p><p>Spike tilted his head to the side and Xander’s eyes dipped down to look at the vampire’s mouth. The mouth that kissed him. Xander’s eyes shot back up to cement eye contact once more.</p><p>“I mean about you hurting yourself,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike looked surprised, and then he looked down at his midsection, “What? This?”</p><p>Xander nodded, “What happened?”</p><p>“Demon dog tried to disembowel me.”</p><p>Spike didn’t open his coat, but it didn't matter. Xander’s mind supplied him with a memory of fumbling with the vampire’s intestines the last time he’d been eviscerated. He blinked thrice before looking away from the vampire. He suddenly felt anxious. Feeling the need to escape his own house, Xander stood up on shaky legs and pulled on a Hawaiian shirt that he found in the clean laundry pile.</p><p>“I’m heading over to Willows,” he said.</p><p>Spike had his eyes closed and Xander figured that was as much as he was gonna get. He headed towards the door.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike opened his eyes, as soon as the whelp left. He looked around the underground apartment and sucked in a deep breath before slowly letting it out. He wasn’t looking for it, and it may have come entirely from left field, but he was absolutely infatuated with the stupid human.  </p><p>He sighed and opened his duster to assess the four bloody gashes down his front. They would heal in a day or two. He closed his coat and then his eyes. He was glad he’d come to the whelp's flat. Not only was his mind over the succubus jealousy, but he also didn't trust himself after meeting up with Jamie.  </p><p>Spike didn’t know what was happening to him, but he was 100% sure that it had everything to do with the Slayer’s new boyfriend.  </p><p>He couldn't get Jamie's words out of his head, “I thought I told you to kill yourself”.  </p><p>Spike knew, without a doubt, that Jamie had never said anything of the sort to him before. So, the vampire was quick to assume that the little shit was into some sort of mind control and had previously used it on him.  </p><p>It was at that moment, sitting in Harris’s Barcalounger, that Spike had an epiphany. He realized his recent suicidal bouts, along with the last few months of depression and apathy, were likely spell induced.  </p><p>Sure, he often felt pathetic, but he wasn't ready to give up playing the game just yet. Suicide simply didn't become him.  </p><p>Knowing he was under Jamie's mojo caused more things to make sense. When he'd travelled to LA he'd instantly felt better. His spirit was revived and the looming depression eased up it's strangle hold. Then last night, as soon as he was back in good old Sunny-D, he’d bumped into the slayer’s boyfriend and recognized himself being magically propelled.  </p><p>Spike growled as he thought of Jamie trying to bewitch him. It sickened him that the shlub was trying to brainwash him to kill himself.  </p><p>The vampire grunted as he shifted on the Barcalounger. His torn fingernail chaffed his pants and he looked down at his left hand. Spike’s eyes lingered on the silver ring and he reached over to spin it around his finger as he wondered if, by chance, the ring had some sort of spell resistance on it.  </p><p>It was the only thing about him that had changed about him recently. Did the ring stop Jamie's spell?</p><p>Spike tried to feel for any lingering 'kill yourself' mojo left within his mind but didn't feel any. He could vividly recall his desire to live, when he'd broken into Harris's house before daybreak. Despite how horrible his unlife was, with sunrise directly on his heels, he had wanted to persevere.  </p><p>Spike leaned his head back with a sigh. Thoughts of last night replayed in his mind.  </p><p>He wasn’t quiet when he burst into the human’s hovel. He'd picked the lock, let himself inside, and then banging open the basement door. Spike stomped down the stairs, waiting for the whelp to bitch and moan, but then he stopped on the last few steps.  </p><p>The smirk the vampire wore, as he expected the human to react, fell from his face as he saw Harris laying as a lump under the covers.   </p><p>Spike was both elated and disappointed. He was happy to see Harris was alone; but, he was also disappointed too, since he wanted to talk about Jamie.  </p><p>Spike stomped down the last few steps and the human didn’t budge. The vampire shrugged, unbothered, and crossed the room to the mini bar fridge. He rummaged around in it, banging jars into each other, and then grinned when he found a package of blood up against the back wall. He didn’t want to go upstairs to use the microwave, so he boiled a bit of water in a pot on the portable element and warmed up his blood bag within it.  </p><p>While waiting for it to heat up, he moved around the basement adjusting the curtains so they were sun proof. He turned off the element, fished out the warm blood bag and bit into it. He closed his eyes, sighing, as the taste of euphoria slid over his taste buds.  </p><p>His eye's suddenly shot open and zeroed in on the sleeping human as he realized that the blood on his tongue was Xander’s. Spike stood frozen, staring at the sleeping human as he sucked on the blood bag.</p><p>Spike drained the blood, and continued to nurse on the plastic bag long after it was empty. He wondered why Xander had a packet of his own blood in the fridge. The mortal was strange, that was for sure.</p><p>Eventually, Spike shook himself out of his thoughts and tossed the empty plastic into the trash. He immediately felt better than expected and grinned. Human blood was the elixir of life.  </p><p>He crossed the room and moved closer to the human. He stood staring at the mortal while he licked his teeth clean. Spike sucked in a deep breath and sighed. The whole basement was saturated in the human’s scent.  </p><p>Pheromones seeped from the furniture and curtains and the whole suite was permeated by Xander’s distinct smell. Spike shifted into his true demonic face and the smell was amplified. His mind easily went back to that weird magical night when he’d fucked the mortal. Of course, it was in a different reality, with a different Xander; but Spike still smiled as he recalled how surprised he’d been by Xander’s domineering sexuality. These thoughts were his guilty pleasure.</p><p>After a while, Spike forced himself to take a step back from the sleeping mortal. He reminded himself that it wasn’t the same Xander. This was Harris and Harris most definitely didn’t want to gag and slurp on his dick like the other reality’s Xander did.  </p><p>Spike rubbed his eyes and groaned as he turned away from the human. Why did the odd night in the other world even happen? Had it served no other purpose than to confuse the hell out of him?</p><p>The vampire shuffled his combat boots over to the Barcalounger and he gingerly sat down in the orange monstrosity. He opened his coat to inspected his rapidly closing wounds. He grimaced as he folded strips of his flesh back into their initial starting places, then he closed his leather duster around himself encircling himself with it like a security blanket.  </p><p>Shifting until he was comfortable, Spike sat staring at the sleeping lump on the bed, all the while thinking of the human's doppelganger. Eventually, sleep claimed him until he was woken up a several hours later with a jolt when Xander dropped the remote control.</p><p>Spike blinked and came back to himself. He realized he was still staring down at the silver ring on his hand and compulsively twisting it around his finger.</p><p>A sudden fire lit up his heart as his mind raced with anger towards Jamie. His chest filled with fury and Spike growled as he realized he wasn’t ready to kill this Jamie yet; he had no idea what Jamie was. Not to mention, because of the chip, Spike was still unable to harm humans. Well, except Xander.  </p><p>He wondered what Jamie could be. He smelled human but then again, Spike recalled the man’s eyes changed.  </p><p>Spike thought to tell the Scooby’s something was off about Buffy’s boyfriend, but realized he'd missed an ample opportunity. “Balls, should’a told the whelp about that when he was here...”</p><p>He looked around the basement and put the thoughts of Jamie bewitching him out of his head. The fact was, he simply couldn’t do anything about it, for the time being. The sun had risen.  </p><p>Spike, someone usually quite capable of ignoring unpleasant thoughts, couldn’t rid himself of one specific thought that irked him. Jamie brought up his Sire being disappointed in him. What did Jamie know about Drusilla?</p><p>Spike tried to quiet his mind. He had no answers and he needed rest. He shifted to stand up and moved towards the whelp's bed. Spike crawled on top of it, careful to keep his duster closed so he didn’t smear the bed in blood. He grinned as he pulled the covers over himself and set his head down on the pillow. The human’s scent enveloped him and the vampire smiled as he snuggled in and fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander meandered through town as he walked away from the Double Meat Palace. He'd just picked up his schedule for the next two weeks as well as sat and ate some breakfast with his staff discount. He was now heading over to the dorms to visit the girls.  </p><p>He wasn't in a hurry, since he felt weak, and like his clothes weighed too much. Xander didn’t understand why he was so sore all over.</p><p>Xander enjoyed his surroundings as he walked. He looked around and listened to the sounds of the birds chirping and the breeze whistling through the trees. When he reached the university grounds, he walked across campus towards Stevenson hall.  </p><p>Xander jogged up the stairs with more energy then he wanted to put out and then smiled at the husky girl with horned rimmed glasses that held the door open for him. He walked through the noisy hallways until he finally stood before the girl’s dorm room. He took a deep breath and knocked. He didn’t know why, but he felt nervous. He felt like he was betraying Spike by going to Willow to tell her Spike’s stuff to tell. But, there was also this tiny part of Xander that felt bad for the vampire and felt obligated to help him.</p><p>When no one answered, he knocked again and tried the doorknob. Xander tried the handle and the door opened. He peeked inside and singsonged, “Hello”.  </p><p>He glanced around the dorm, saw the room in pristine condition and devoid of occupants. He frowned as he pulled shut the door. He cursed under his breath and knew instantly, as his gut sank, that something bad had happened.  </p><p>Feeling trepidatious, he rushed over to Giles house and was shocked to find the ex-librarian missing as well. It then occurred to him that in his worry, he’d forgot that the Scooby gang was now using the mansion on Crawford street as research central.  </p><p>He didn’t like it, but there was room for them all and it made sense. The pit that had settled in his stomach felt like cement and Xander contemplated if maybe it was just the double meat egg muffin from earlier, but he knew better.  </p><p>He lived on a hellmouth, so he instantly feared the worst. He couldn’t lose Willow, Buffy, or Giles. They were as much his family as his own flesh and blood. Maybe, more so. He ran to the mansion on Crawford street, filled with dread.</p><p>He banged on the door, pressing on the stitch in his side, as he gasped in air. He waited, and when the door swung open he saw the somber face of the brunet slayer.</p><p>“What happened?” Xander said.</p><p>Faith stepped aside and opened the door to let him in, “B’s missing.”</p><p>Xander squinted, did he hear that right? The Slayer was missing? He followed Faith through the mansion to join the others in the Library. Willow shuffled over for a hug as soon as she saw him, and Xander encircled her with his arms. “Hey, what’s going on, Will?”</p><p>Willow looked up at him with red rimmed, wet, eyes. “Buffy said she’d meet up with me last night, she pinky promised me, and then she didn’t come home.”  </p><p>Xander glanced across the room, over the small witch’s head, and saw Giles, Angel and Faith watching the two of them.</p><p>“Hey, we’ll find her,” Xander said as he looked down into Willow's eyes, “Don’t worry.”  </p><p>Willow nodded and hugged him again and Xander maneuvered her over to a chair. He took a seat next to her.</p><p>“So, where do we start looking?” he said.</p><p>“We’re discussing that now.” Giles said.</p><p>“And why didn’t you call me?” Xander said.</p><p>Giles and Angel looked at one another.</p><p>“We did,” Angel said.</p><p>“Several times.” Giles said, “Where were you?”</p><p>“Oh, uh,” Xander swallowed, “Sleeping. I got drained by a succubus last night.”  </p><p>Giles eyes widened, “Good lord! Are you alright?”</p><p>Xander shrugged, “I’m tired but okay. I'm more worried about the Buffster, to be honest.”</p><p>Giles nodded, and scanned Xander over before turning towards the main research table. He reached out and picked up a plastic bag that Xander hadn’t noticed yet and withdrew a map, candle, some dried green herbs and a lighter.  </p><p>“Willow, if you would,” Giles said.</p><p>The redhead nodded and moved to stand beside Giles.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Xander asked, “You guys doing a locator spell?”</p><p>“Yep,” Faith said, “Let's hope it works, since the last one blew up.”  </p><p>Xander looked at the slayer, curious. Faith stood away from the group holding up the wall. She had her arms folded across her chest.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Xander said.</p><p>“Either the witch is freaking out because Buffy’s missing or…”</p><p>Xander prodded, “Or?”</p><p>“It could be magic blocking us from locating her,” Angel said.</p><p>Rather than acknowledge Angel spoke, Xander focused his eyes on Willows hands and watched as the spell was performed. Midway through the incantation, the map caught fire and Giles dampened the flames immediately.</p><p>The room descended into silence and it irked Xander, “Well the first place to start would be talking to Jamie, right?”</p><p>“We tried that," Faith said, "No answer. It seems no one knows where to find him."</p><p>“We don’t even know where to start looking for him.” Willow said, “I mean what’s his last name? Why don’t I know this stuff? I’m such a terrible friend!”</p><p>The witch grew more and more upset as she spoke. Xander leaned over and put his arm around her.</p><p>“Hey. Remember, this is Buffy we’re talking about. Ok? She’s a Slayer. She’ll be fine.”</p><p>He spoke soothingly and rubbed circles on her back.  </p><p>Willow rubbed her thighs with her palms, when Xander let her go, “You’re right. I know. I’m just scared.”</p><p>“Ooh! Hey, I know…” Xander said, “Spike's back in my basement. Buffy told me that he's met Jamie before, so maybe he can try to sniff him out.”</p><p>Willow nodded and sniffled, happy to have a leg to stand on, “Yeah, maybe.”</p><p>“Why is Spike in your basement?” Angel said.</p><p>Xander ignored the vampire and looked at Giles as the Watcher spoke.</p><p>“That’s all well and good but how do we begin to look for this Jamie while we wait for dusk?”</p><p>Xander turned to Willow, “Can you use your computer to reverse look up Jamie’s phone number? Maybe find an address that way?”</p><p>Willow nodded, “Oh! Why didn't I think of that!?”</p><p>Xander watched Willow move to pull her laptop out of her book bag.</p><p>"Why's Spike staying at your place?" Angel asked him.</p><p>Xander squinted a glare in the vampire's direction and explained petulantly, “Because, dead boy, Spike still has a death wish. You didn’t miraculously cure him like you said you did. Looks like his ‘Sire’ failed him again.”</p><p>Xander looked at the vampire and took great pleasure in telling him he didn’t fix Spike.</p><p>Angel stared at Xander with a subtle glare but said nothing.  </p><p>Xander turned his attention back to Willow as she sat down next to him and opened up her laptop. When she turned to him, Xander instantly felt bad for revealing Spike’s weakness in front of everyone. Then, he figured it was best they all know anyway. Sure, it felt good twisting Angel's emotions, but he also felt better getting it off his chest. Still, Xander couldn't help but feel as though he disregarded Spike’s privacy.  </p><p>“He’s staying with you willingly?” Giles said.</p><p>Xander registered an odd lilt to the Englishman’s voice, and he looked over the old face in wonder. Giles returned the look and then his eyes flickered down at the bite mark on Xander’s throat before he made eye contact again.</p><p>Xander gave Giles a rueful side smile and shook his head, then he looked up distracted as Angel stood and quietly left the room. Faith pushed off from the wall and followed the vampire out. Xander stared after them.</p><p>“Do you think that you’re helping him?” Willow said.</p><p>Xander turned to his friend and shrugged, “I mean... I guess... I can’t really talk to him about it, ya know?”</p><p>“You’ve tried?” Giles said.</p><p>“Well, yeah, but Spike doesn’t want to talk about it... I guess I need to find a way to trap him in my basement long enough to get him to talk.” Xander said.</p><p>Willow perked up from behind her laptop, “Oh! A tethering spell could work! It would physically bind you together for a few days.”</p><p>“Spike would hate that,” Xander said.</p><p>He grinned. “Let’s do it… After we find Buffy, of course.”</p><p>“That goes without saying” Willow said, while she multi tasked on her computer.</p><p>Xander looked over the witch's shoulder as she spoke, "It’s an easy spell. It gives you a safe word that breaks the bind if it gets to be too much. You would just say ‘Solvite’”</p><p>“Solvite?” Xander repeated.</p><p>Willow nodded, “Yep, remember that, because I won’t be able to tell you when you’re both tethered.”</p><p>“A safe word huh?” Xander said, “Good thing. Just in case I can’t handle all the rage.”  </p><p>“Well, he's chipped, so he can't hurt you,” Willow said.  </p><p>Xander licked his lips as he recalled that Spike could indeed hurt him. He nodded his head in agreement, “Right. Yeah... Well... It can’t be too soon, because every time I see him he’s got new perforations. I didn't think I cared, but-”</p><p>Willow perked up, “Ooh! I got it! I’ve got a last name and an address!”</p><p>Xander clapped his hands together, “Alright! Now were talking!”</p><p>While waiting for Willow to write the address down on a note pad, Xander watched as Giles sat forwards as if to speak. Then when Faith reentered the room, the ex-librarian sat back in his chair and closed his mouth.</p><p>Xander glanced at Willow who held out the address towards him. He accepted it and scanned it, thinking about where in town he had to go. Xander glanced around the room. His vision landed on Faith, “Shall we?”</p><p>The brunet slayer pulled her lips to the side and shrugged her shoulders, “Sure, what the hell.”</p><p>Xander turned to Giles. The older man looked grief stricken and tired. He was obviously preparing for the worst outcome and Xander knew there was no way to pacify him. Keeping optimism alive in his own heart, Xander sent Giles a small smile and said, “We’ll be back as soon as we can.”</p><p>Giles nodded and Xander walked towards the exit with Faith in tow.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander and Faith headed towards the address on the yellow sticky note. The two of them were silent, as they each appreciated the colorful horizon as they walked. The sun would set soon.  </p><p>When they eventually arrived at the address, they stopped on the sidewalk to stare at the large gated white house that stood before them.  </p><p>Faith noticed the front door stood ajar and she squatted down and then jumped up and over the gate. Xander moved closer to the gate as Faith unlocked it to let him in. The two of them looked at one other, Xander lifted an eyebrow at her acrobatics, and Faith ignored him. She turned and approached the house.  </p><p>The slayer pushed the door in cautiously and then strode inside confidently.</p><p>Curious, Xander followed along behind her. Then he understood. He stood staring at the clean massive entrance way awash with sunlight. He looked up and saw the light streamed in through multiple skylights set into the vaulted ceiling.  </p><p>Xander looked at Faith as he shuffled closer to her. He stopped near the base of the stairwell and watched as the slayer stared up at the massive crystal chandelier seated above them. Faith looked back down again and stared directly into Xander's eyes.</p><p>"Check upstairs, I've got down here," she said.</p><p>Xander nodded and the two of them separated. He moved up the stairwell, glancing around at the rich architecture of the house as he moved down the hallway.  </p><p>Once he was out of the slayers line of sight he grew more cautious. Like a paranoid cop, he entered each room keeping his back to the wall as he scanned for danger. Once he'd made sure all the rooms were clear, he relaxed and started looking around for any clues as to where Jamie or Buffy were.  </p><p>Finding nothing, besides evidence that the house was previously ransacked, Xander descended the stairs to reconvene with Faith in the foyer.  </p><p>He approached the slayer as she leaned against the wall with her arms over her chest blowing bubbles with her pink gum. She snapped her gum before asking, "Find anything?"</p><p>"Nope," Xander said, "You?"</p><p>Faith shook her head and pushed off the wall.  </p><p>The two turned to leave but as they walked towards the exit Xander slowed to a stop. Faith glanced at him, curious to see what he was looking at and saw it was a huge painted portrait hanging above the exit. She glanced at Xander and then back at the picture.  </p><p>Sitting in front of his regal looking parents, Jamie sat on a leather wing backed chair with a haughty smile on his face. He was no more than 12 in the portrait.  </p><p>Xander stared at the painting, confused. He recognized the boy’s face.  </p><p>Faith moved towards the exit and Xander dragged his feet to follow along behind. He racked his brain trying to remember where he knew Jamie from. Did they known each other when they were kids?  </p><p>Faith exited the house and Xander rushed to catch up to her before the two walked back towards Crawford street.  </p><p>This time they walked in a completely different type of silence then the one they'd walked in before.  </p><p>They returned to the mansion and spent time around the research table brainstorming with the others. Unfortunately, no one knew where to start looking for the missing Slayer.  </p><p>Faith eventually disappeared and Giles advised Angel to go along with her, explaining that since they didn’t know for sure that Jamie was the reason Buffy was missing, Faith should be protected as well.</p><p>"Something ominous could be searching for Faith right now, for all we know,” Giles said.</p><p>Angel gave the old man a reluctant nod and then slunk off to help Faith sweep the graveyards.</p><p>While this was happening, Xander was telling Willow that he was heading home to seek Spike's help. Willow of course told Xander to be careful, like usual. Only this time she handed him a perfume bottle sized vial of holy water.  </p><p>Xander grinned at the little witch and stuffed it in his pocket before leaving the mansion. He crossed town with long strides, watching the shops close up as he passed by. Longtime Sunnydale residents understood that the nighttime wasn’t safe. Everything closed when the sun set. He knew better, too, and he hurried his steps.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander hoped Spike was still lounging around his place, as he entered the house. He chuckled to himself since that wasn’t a thought he'd normally think. Xander entered his basement and saw the vampire watching TV looking none the worse for wear. The vampire’s ear had already grown back. Xander stopped on the stairs for a beat before propelling himself closer.</p><p>“Wait,” Xander said, “How are you okay now?”  </p><p>Spike looked over at him and casually pulled his duster aside revealing his bloodstained shirt, “What? This?”</p><p>Xander watched as the vampire fingered the rips in the t-shirt across his chest, poking his fingertips through to rub against flawless skin.</p><p>Xander was confused, “How- how did you heal so fast?”</p><p>“Er, vampire?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander snorted.</p><p>“I know that, doofus. I mean how did you heal so much faster this time?”  </p><p>“Human blood. Found a pack in your fridge,” Spike said, “Wanna tell me why you got packs of your own blood in there?”</p><p>Xander licked his lips, not knowing what to say. He wasn't prepared for this.</p><p>“Bit strange, really,” Spike said.</p><p>“It’s for bribes,” Xander said.</p><p>“Bribes, you say? Really?”</p><p>Spike stared at him.  </p><p>Xander didn’t like the feeling he was getting in the pit of his stomach. He felt like Spike was threatening him without uttering a threat. The hair on the back of his neck rose and Xander wondered how honest he should be with the demon. Spike could hurt him now, really bad, should he speak out of line. Spike could kill him. Xander’s heart sped up and he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down on it as he realized that he’d just called Spike a doofus a moment before.  </p><p>Spike raised an inquisitive eyebrow and Xander could see a tiny smirk curving up the corner of the blonde’s mouth.  </p><p>“To bribe me?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander let go of his lip and licked the bite marks as he tried to figure out what to say. Then he realized, as he stood staring at the demon before him, that it didn’t matter how he answered. It didn’t matter if he acted like a kiss-ass or like an asshole. Either way, Spike would play this out how ever he was going to. The vampire would attack, or he wouldn’t. Xander found some small comfort in the thought. Deciding that what he did, or said, was of little relevance he tried to relax his tense shoulders.  </p><p>Xander nodded.</p><p>Spike’s smirk blossomed and his eyes squinted mischievously, “Is that so? What you gonna get me ta do for drinking that last pack?”</p><p>Xander swallowed thickly.</p><p>“Er, funny you should ask that. I’m actually here specifically to ask for a favor.”</p><p>Spike turned serious, his smirk disappearing. He tilted his head, “And that would be?”</p><p>“Buffy’s missing. We were hoping you could sniff her out – or her boyfriend Jamie, since that’s who we think has her.” Xander said.</p><p>“Oh, he for sure has," Spike said, "He’s the wanker that sicced the bloody demon dog on me last night,”  </p><p>“So, you’ll help, then?” Xander said.</p><p>“Hmm, well, a bribe’s a bribe,” Spike said, “Blood was a nummy treat, after all.”</p><p>Xander stared at Spike, watching as the vampire smirked and stared at the mark on his throat. Spike was looking at him like a meal and Xander gulped and unconsciously rubbed his neck. When he realized what he was doing, he blushed and lowered his arm. His mind flashed back to when the vampire bit him and Xander nervously looked away and cleared his throat. He swallowed thickly and glanced around the basement suite.  </p><p>“You ready?” Xander said, “Sun’s already set.”</p><p>Spike stood, as graceful as a cat, from the Barcalounger.</p><p>“Lead the way.”</p><p>“You’re the one with the nose,” Xander said.</p><p>They headed out of the house and when they reached the street Xander turned to Spike, “So, how do you do this? Which way do we go?”</p><p>Xander watched as Spike’s demonic features took over his face. He stood silent as Spike sniffed the air and stood there with his mouth slightly open. Xander was about to ask what the vampire was doing when suddenly Spike started making a noise between a growl and a hiss with each breath. Xander squinted, opened his mouth to talk and then closed it. Spike’s features returned to normal.</p><p>“This way,” he said.</p><p>The vampire started walking to the left and Xander jogged to catch up and walk along side him. He let himself be led through town, uncaring how Spike did what he did, just so long as he did it. The two of them stopped occasionally, for Spike to pull on his demon face and smell the air to verify they were going in the right direction. Xander kept quiet and followed along. He hoped in the depth of his heart that this worked, that Spike could find Buffy.  </p><p>The two of them wandered town most of the night and Xander felt like they’d hit all four corners of Sunnydale by sunrise. They hadn’t found her, and they had to stop looking as Xander needed to sleep before going to work in the morning.  </p><p>Spike walked him home. Sunrise was in a few hours and Xander anxiously wondered if Spike was going to stay over again. Maybe then he could broach the subject of self harm. Xander turned his back on Spike to unlock his front door.</p><p>“Sorry I couldn’t find her for ya,” Spike said.  </p><p>Xander froze. Did Spike just apologize to him? What the? He spun around, and then grabbed his neck and winced.  </p><p>With a kink in his neck, he looked around and saw that the vampire was nowhere to be found. Xander rubbed the side of his neck and tsked about disappearing vampires while he finished unlocking his door.</p><p>He wandered down to the basement stairs and took off his jacket as exhaustion took over his body. He let his body fall on top of the pull-out bed and then he reached for his alarm to set if for 4 hours away. Clothes still on, he fell fast asleep.</p><p>When he woke up to his shrill alarm, moments later, Xander blinked and sat up to rub his face. He scrambled to find his uniform and proceed to his day job where he thankfully could drink a gallon of free coffee.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Buffy woke up thinking she heard chanting. An auditory illusion that awoke her in a state of pleasure. Her first conscious thought was of angels draped in white, dancing in beautiful white cotton candy clouds.</p><p>Then her entire body flared with pain and she cried out as sensation slammed into her. She lay still, panting, as agony flooded her system. She gulped in air to try to calm herself. When she opened her wet eyes, she closed them and opened them again. Panicking, because she was unable to see, she blinked repeatedly. All there was was darkness. Why couldn’t she see. Was she blind?</p><p>Unable to fathom what was going on, Buffy started to hyperventilate. In her panic, she didn’t understand. She couldn’t think. She was in shock. Why was she in so much pain? She felt a coolness seep into her body which causing her to shiver. The slight spasm in her body caused her entire body to flare with pain.</p><p>She cried out and her voice caught in her throat as she sobbed. She tried her hardest not to move. She held as still as she could, laying on the cold floor.</p><p>Buffy was terrified but she held a running mantra in her head telling herself that she wasn’t scared. Whatever this was, it would end, eventually. She was the slayer, she had to persevere.  </p><p>It took her a while to steady her mind, but when she did she remembered that she’d been trapped in a dark cell before. She'd been chained up in the dark... This was the same type of thing. Only, this time, she was broken in agony.  </p><p>She recalled waking up somewhere else, though. Before. Somewhere hot and wet. Somewhere with a roof made of wood. Buffy remembered staring into the grains of the wood on the ceiling. Seconds later, her mind supplied her with memories of the torture. She had trouble swallowing as she revisited the memory. Buffy squinted in the dark. Her memory was hazy. All she knew was that Jamie had hurt her.  </p><p>Tears spilled out the corners of her eyes, slid down her temples and ran into her ears. Buffy gasped in air as she sobbed. She wrapped her arms around herself as she cried. Her heavy crying echoed in the empty dark room until it slowly ebbed.  </p><p>Afterwards, Buffy felt more drained and she snorted to clear her nasal passages. She gulped in breath after breath as she told herself not to think about Jamie. She had to get out of wherever she was. There was time to think later.</p><p>Despite her will, her mind supplied her revolving memories of their time together. Buffy couldn’t stem the tears. She’d trusted Jamie. She’d let her guard down for him. He was supposed to be normal. Buffy never suspected that Jamie was capable of drugging her. Let alone kidnapping and torturing her.</p><p>Buffy sniffed as another bout of sobs overtook her. She brought her hands up to wipe her face, all the while making sure she kept her body laying still.  </p><p>She turned her head to looked around and didn’t see anything, shrouded in absolute darkness. An odd tiny ticking sound invaded her ears. It seemed close, yet also far away. Buffy lay listening, focusing on the tiny sound as the ticking grew into a slight creaking sound. It eventually slowed to a stop and Buffy stared at where the sound came from. Was that a creaking door?</p><p>Buffy suddenly realized that she was wasting precious time thinking of what that sound could be instead of acknowledging that Jamie had broken both of her legs and was likely going to kill her if she didn’t escape. She had to escape, now. She couldn’t afford to think otherwise. She had to set aside how she felt about the situation and she had to get moving. She had to escape.  </p><p>Buffy tried to move her legs and cried harsh, sharp sobs that she muffled with her hands. She stilled as she was washed over by the memories of the torture. The exact moment of the first break saturated her mind. She tried not to think about it, but the memory replayed regardless. She cried harder as the word 'torture' reverberated through her mind. Her boyfriend tortured her.  </p><p>Buffy was about to start hyperventilating but she smacked herself across the face before sucking in a deep breath through her nose. She held the air in. Then, she let it out, before sucking in another. Buffy was calming her body, but she couldn’t stem her tears. She was finally able to shake the imagery from her mind as she whispered affirmations to herself that she wasn’t scared, and that she would escape.</p><p>She forced herself to sit up, wincing as her legs shifted. She panted as agony lacing up her legs and into her back. Buffy stared down where her limbs lay, grateful she couldn’t see them. Tears filled her eyes anew before spilling over her cheeks. She gulped in air as she cried. Her heart ached, along with her broken legs. She was beside herself.  </p><p>The slayer once again forced herself to regain control. She stifled her hyperactive breathing. She didn’t have time to hyperventilate. She was the Slayer. She was the one. She had to escape. She could break down later.  </p><p>Buffy pushed herself up on her arms and shifted her body, dragging her broken useless legs behind her. She couldn’t help but cry out and stop the movement. She was huffing and panting, exhausted from minuscule effort. As she sat there, she was again taken over by the burden of her memories. She couldn’t stem the replay of events. She stared off into the darkness, as if in a trance, as she relived it.</p><p>Buffy laid there for some time, wondering where she was. Entranced by the grain in the wooden ceiling above her, she didn't question what was happening to her. She’d woken up laying there, staring up at the ceiling. Wondering why it was so bright and why she was unable to move her head. Eventually she realized that there were collars across her neck and wrists. Her legs weren't cuffed, though. Buffy didn’t understand, or question, the straps holding her down. She was just glad to see lights and colors. She’d been trapped in the dark for so long.  </p><p>It was so incredibly hot and humid in the room that Buffy felt sweat pool on her top lip. She grew more and more uncomfortable, unable to wipe the wetness away, until she was filled with an insatiable urge to laugh about the whole predicament. Eventually, she came to terms with the realization that she was drugged. She recognized that her mind was hazy and altered. Laughter burbled out of her mouth, unbidden.</p><p>Jamie moved to stand over her. He stared down at her as she blinked up at him, confused. Buffy blinked dumbly. Why was he here? Was he the one who put her in the dark cell?</p><p>Buffy stared up at Jamie as he stared down at her. He looked majestic in her eyes. She stared at him in fond adoration. She tried to talk, to ask what him what was going on, but then she saw him disappear from her view. Blinking slowly, wondering what was happening, Buffy screamed as the bone in her right leg was broken. Her voice cracked as she screamed again as Jamie wrenched on the broken limb.  </p><p>Buffy registered a woman’s laughter, as she thrashed against her bonds like a feral cat. She cried in confusion. Why was Jamie doing this? And why was there a woman laughing? Jamie grabbed her other leg and Buffy shrieked and cried as he broke the bone. Buffy stopped struggling, since the more she moved the more everything hurt.</p><p>Then Jamie was gone, and Buffy was left alone in her agony, sobbing. The pain eventually enveloped her and her vision started to blacken around the edges. She gladly let the darkness take her.</p><p>Buffy blinked as she came back to herself. She looked around at the pitch-black darkness surrounding her and wiped the fresh tears off her cheeks. She sniffed and grit her teeth as she placed her hands on the ground and heaved to move her body. She buckled in pain but forced herself to inch across the expanse of the dark cell. Using her arms, Buffy moved herself despite painful protesting from her injuries. She cried out intermittently as her broken legs jostled; but, she persisted. She could do this, she told herself. With clenched teeth, using her arms to propel herself forward, she dragged her useless legs behind her.  </p><p>Buffy felt around the cage in the dark, reminding herself that no matter how bleak the predictive outcome, if there was a will then there was a way. She simply had to will herself not to give up. She had to keep going. Buffy made her way painfully over half the cell before finding the cell door. She cried out in excitement as she reached out through the darkness and felt around for the door’s lock.  </p><p>She was hoping she could break it. She reached up blindly and felt around for the apparatus. She needed to get further up. She set her hand down on the ground and lurched back as something bit into her palm.</p><p>Buffy rubbed her sore hand and tentatively reached back out. She felt around to feel for what she’d put her weight down on and her hands fumbled with a bit of metal. It tinkled as the metal clinked against more metal. Buffy shook it and just knew it had to be a key ring. She sucked in a gasp as she realized she held in her hands a set of keys. She tried not to get her hopes up.  </p><p>Buffy shifted herself painfully as she tried to get closer to the lock mechanism. Her hands shook as she strained to reach the lock. She fumbled with the key ring and tried several different keys. She was muttering to herself that she wasn’t going to question her luck, that a set of keys were just sitting there, when the fourth key she tried unlocked the cell door.  </p><p>Buffy cried out in pain and joy as she fell forwards when the cell door swung open. She caught herself on her arms and forced herself to drag her body out of the cage. She didn’t know where to go from here, but she set to work trying to find a way to escape.</p><p>Buffy recalled the creaking door hinge sound and tried to remember the echo location. She retraced her movements in her mind and figured out where about she'd heard it. She wasn’t certain but she predicted that the creaking door would be just off to the side. She struggled on her hands to maneuver her body as well as guide herself through the dark in that direction.  </p><p>Inch by grueling inch, Buffy forced herself to focus on herself as the mission. She had to do this. She had to move her broken legs. She had to struggle and make it work. She was the Slayer. She wasn’t going to let some “boyfriend” take her out.</p><p>When she reached out, she felt what she thought was an empty bookshelf. She pulled herself painfully up against it and shifted to the side, reaching out for the wall beyond it. She leaned too far forwards and tipped over, not finding a solid wall at all.  </p><p>She hit the floor and lay panting in pain. She swept her arms out for discovery and realized she lay in an open doorway. She fingered the bottom of the door.  </p><p>Buffy inched over the threshold, finding herself in another dark area, but saw shafts of sunlight at the end of a hallway. She scrambled to pull herself towards the light, sobbing as she did so. Everything hurt. She was hungry, hurting and heartbroken. She cried unfettered as she pulled herself along and forced herself onward.</p><p>One hand in front of the other, pain radiating up from her legs, Buffy finally met with the light at the other end of the hall. She squinted into it and then looked down from the top of a staircase.  </p><p>She wiped her sweaty, snotty face on her shirt sleeve and knew that this next bit was going to hurt like a son of a bitch. She looked down the stairs with dread.  </p><p>Buffy clenched her teeth and forced herself to slide down on her belly. When she made it to the landing between flights, she needed to take a momentary breather. She lay there gasping, her eyes wildly looking around.  </p><p>There was a telephone hanging on the wall near the bottom of the stairs, and she stared at it. After a moment, Buffy pushed herself back up and made a quick plan as she stared at the front door straight ahead of her.  </p><p>She saw a glint of sunshine leak through the glass window of the front door and she heard a frog ribbit outside.  </p><p>Buffy knew that she couldn’t reach the phone, since it was too high up; but she saw that it was a cordless. She knew that if she could throw something at the phone then it would fall from its cradle, and she could then make a call.</p><p>Buffy slid down the next flight of stairs on her belly, wincing as she bit her cheek with her clenched teeth.</p><p>When she got to the bottom, she grabbed a nearby shoe and threw it at the phone. The phone dropped and Buffy scrambled to catch it. She dialed 911 with shaking hands.  </p><p>Buffy trying to talk as calmly as she could to the operator. Meanwhile she put the phone in between her shoulder and ear so she could continue crawling towards the door.  </p><p>It wasn't working.</p><p>Buffy didn’t know where she was and she wasn’t able to tell the operator anything other than that she’d been tortured. The operator told her to stay on the line.  </p><p>With a plea of “Please, please help me! I’m setting down the phone to try to escape!” Buffy set down the phone.</p><p>She used her arms to climb the bottom of the door. She reached out with her hand to unlock the deadbolt before struggling to pull the door open. The sight of nature outdoors took her breath away.</p><p>Buffy dragged herself out, inch by inch, onto the porch. She looked around, blinking back tears as the sunlight burned her eyes. She could see, now, that she was being kept inside a dilapidated old farmhouse.  </p><p>The surrounding grounds were all natural. She could smell the salty ocean air but all she could see was an overgrown marshland. What was once cultivated, and man disturbed, was once more overtaken by nature. Buffy spotted broken cement statues seated among the reeds and plants. She looked at the sky and all she could see was the warm orange and red sun setting as the birds flew overhead chirping around her.</p><p>Had she not been in so much pain, she would have smiled. She was so happy to see the birds and hear the frogs. She focused on the noise of a burbling stream tumbling into the pond as she crawled further out onto the sun-soaked veranda. She listened to the sound of sporadic dripping water and the frogs ribbiting nearby. Buffy felt as if the frogs were calling out to her to get moving.  </p><p>She turned her head to look at the pond as she pulled herself along. It was backed by a row of large dark overhanging trees that she couldn’t see past. It appeared the only way out was through the gate at the other end of the yard.  </p><p>From the porch she could see her path. She’d have to crawl along a strip of grass between the pond and the gravel driveway to get to the gate. Buffy glanced at the birds eating the shallow watery plant life in the pond as she braced herself for one more set of stairs.  </p><p>She cried out as she hit the bottom of the stairs and her chest rubbed into the gravel. She grit her teeth and stayed focused on the mission. She had to escape. She rubbed her belly raw against the gravel driveway as she dragged herself across it. Once she was was able to continue crawling on the grass, she was grateful. Buffy focused solely on what she was doing and where she was going. She had no time to waste.</p><p>A shoe stepped in front of her path, and then another. Buffy gasped as she stopped short. She strained to tilt her head back and look up. She didn’t need to, though, as she recognized Jamie’s shiny oxford shoes.</p><p>She looked up into Jamie’s eyes just before his fist swung out to impact her face. His right cross bowled her over with the force of the blow. Buffy cried out as she fell to the ground twisted.  </p><p>The slayer heard bird's wings flapping as they flew off in fright and she reached out with an arm to grab purchase of something, anything. Her arm slipped into the pond and she struggled to push herself up in a panic.</p><p>Jamie stepped over her and wrapped his hands around her throat. Buffy choked and struggled to breath. She tried to peel back his fingers. She couldn’t die here. Not like this.  </p><p>Buffy gasped in air when Jamie let go of her throat. She then cried out when he wound his hands in her hair and yanked on it.  </p><p>He pulled her with him, as he stepped down into the pond. Jamie yarded Buffy’s tattered body into the water with him, ignoring her cries of pain, and then he pushed her head down under the murky water.</p><p>Buffy eye’s bugged as she choked and struggled against Jamie. She jerked and stared up at her boyfriend as he actively murdered her. She stared in disbelief, as she drown.  </p><p>She didn’t understand, how could this be happening?</p><p>Satisfied, as Buffy ceased struggling against him, Jamie let go of her blond hair and stood up. Her body slipped further into the water as he turned to step out of the water.  </p><p>Jamie froze and raised his hands as he saw two police officers approach with their guns drawn. Jamie looked beyond the two men as they yelled orders at him. He could see the red and blue lights flashing beyond the gate. Jamie turned back to look down at the dead blond behind him and his mouth pursed together. He stepped out of the pond and followed the officer's instructions.  </p><p>Once Jamie was laying down on his stomach, one officer cuffed his hands behind his back, while the second officer rushed to Buffy and pulled her from the water to begin CPR.  </p><p>Jamie was heaved to his feet and shoved towards the front gate by the officer. The cop was speaking codes into his walkie talkie and Jamie turned to look over his shoulder, trying to see if Buffy revived.</p><p>Jamie lost sight of her as he was pushed off the property. Paramedics rushed onto the scene as he was shoved into the back of the waiting police cruiser. More vehicles showed up, as he sat in the back of the cop car. Several police officers stood outside the car, talking to each other next to it, until two officers got into the front of the car and delivered Jamie to the police precinct.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Drusilla stood against the wall in an unused room in the front of the house. She stood peering out the covered window at a perfect angle. She stood as still as a statue as she watched the scene unfold outside.  </p><p>She'd monitored the slayer's progress as she crawled through the house. It was in Drusilla's best interest that the blonde slayer survive, after all, so she'd facilitated her escape.  </p><p>Drusilla watched the blond girl belly crawl down the wooden front steps and across the gravel.  </p><p>The slayer was moving over the grass when Jamie appear from the corner of Drusilla’s eye. He step out of nowhere and began to approach the struggling slayer. Drusilla froze and watched in anticipation. She wondered how everything would play out.  </p><p>Drusilla knew that she needed to keep the blonde Slayer alive. The powers had shown her the visions as a means to coerce her help. Naturally, this backed Drusilla into a corner. She knew how visions played out. She knew she would loose her chance to sire the brunette slayer if she let the blond slayer die. All current future visions would no longer be viable. William would die. Everything would be for naught.</p><p>Drusilla had to do as she was instructed.  </p><p>She’d thought she'd done enough, by giving the slayer the keys to the cell. Now though, Drusilla watched through the glass as Jamie drown the Slayer and knew that it hadn't been enough.  </p><p>A vision flashed in her mind, a repeat, of the blond slayer drowning under the murky water. Drusilla bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. She felt as though she was experiencing the act herself as it was being committed across the yard.  </p><p>Unfortunately, there was nothing Drusilla could do. Segregated by the sun, she couldn't save the girl.  </p><p>Eyes closed, Drusilla envisioned all possible future time lines that revolved around Buffy disappear. Potential visions whisked from her mind just as the blond stopped struggling.</p><p>Drusilla felt faint. This couldn't be happening. She flicked open her eyes as gravel crunched and interlopers descended on the scene. She stared as the two decorated humans quickly dominated Jamie and pulled the Slayer from the murky water.  </p><p>While one of the officers knelt beside the wet blond to breath into her mouth, Drusilla's face blossomed into a grin as her mind once again refilled with future opportunities. She sighed and closed her eyes. That had been close.  </p><p>Drusilla relaxed. Everything would be fine now. The Slayer was alive. All future visions would continue to play out as they should.  </p><p>The vampiress smirked, knowing deep down that she’d done the right thing. She licked her bloody lips and made the unconscious movement of clasping her hands in front of herself.  </p><p>As she bumped her stumps together, the smile slipped from her face.</p><p>Drusilla’s head shot up and she peered out the window as she heard the slayer sputter and cough. The blond girl was propped up by the officer and violently coughing out water.</p><p>Drusilla drew back from the window and looked down at where her hands should be. She grimaced before exiting the room and walking on creaky legs towards the main room.  </p><p>When she entered the humid room, sadness overcame her. She looked down at her blood-stained stumps and then she flopped her body down beside the perpetually sleeping Anya.  </p><p>Drusilla shimmied the blankets away from Anya’s lower body and nuzzled her face in between the girl’s thighs. She moved into position with an eager little moan and bit into the soft flesh. She drank deeply and felt euphoric as the warm human blood infused her body.  </p><p>After a few pulls, she withdrew her fangs, and sipped and licked at the wound until it closed. She didn’t waste a drop.</p><p>After feeding, Drusilla pulled away and shifted the cover back over the human with her stumps. She smiled adoringly at the lump of flesh. If Anya wasn’t here, Drusilla knew she would be much worse off. She bent down and kissed the human on the forehead and then stood and stretched. The human’s blood made her feel amazing.  </p><p>The vampiress moved back to the unused room at the front of the house. She peered out the crack around the window blinds and saw that the front yard was empty. She sighed and glanced down at her stumps. Now, there was nothing that she could do but wait for Jamie to come home.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Joyce received a call at the art gallery from the hospital. She called Giles who in turn called Willow, who called Xander. When she didn’t get a hold of him, she left a message and then remembered that he was probably at work.  </p><p>Xander took the phone call halfway through his shift at the Double Meat Palace. He got off early so he could rush to the hospital.</p><p>When he met up with everyone, the whole group learned from Joyce that Buffy was going to be okay. Her legs were broken and she’d drown, but she was okay.  </p><p>When they were finally let in to visit with her, Buffy said she wanted to go home. She reiterated that she hates hospitals over and over until Joyce left to go talk to the nurses about Buffy returning home.</p><p>Buffy turned to her friends, when her mom was gone. She tried to state it like nothing happened, “So, Jamie broke my legs and drown me.”</p><p>She’d meant to speak more, but she started silently crying. Her face squished up and she wrapped her arms around herself. She felt duped, and pathetic, like her love life was a cosmic joke.</p><p>Willow rushed forwards, sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed her friend up in a hug to let her cry it out.</p><p>Xander and Giles moved closer but stood where they were.  </p><p>Buffy pulled away from Willow, breathing heavily. She wiped her face. “I don’t want to talk about it... But, you guys should know.”</p><p>The three nodded and looked up as Joyce entered the hospital room. “They said at least a few days, Buffy.”</p><p>Buffy whimpered and sat back. She looked out the window while Joyce turned to her daughter’s grief-stricken friends. “Maybe, it would be best if we do this meet up another time?”</p><p>Giles nodded and stepped back, “Right. Of course.”</p><p>Xander followed Giles lead and the two waited near the door as Willow paused at the edge of the bed, “I can stay, if you want?”</p><p>Buffy shook her head. “No. I- I need to talk to my mom.”</p><p>Willow nodded and stood up, not letting go of Buffy’s hand until the very last second.</p><p>The three friends slowly exited the hospital with no idea where to go or what to do.  </p><p>The sun was shining and Xander felt like he could sleep for a week, “I’m gonna peace out. Call me with the new meet up time?”</p><p>Willow nodded and she and Giles continued walking together as Xander veered off in his own direction.</p><p>Xander headed home. He was exhausted from the last couple nights, but he was beside himself happy  they’d found Buffy alive. Knowing that she was okay, he knew that he could finally sleep well. He made a bee line for home. He had a long date with his bed.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander stepped off the Summer’s front stairs with a grin. He turned around and stared at the lit-up windows of the closed-up house. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, happy. Buffy had been found and she was going to be okay. The two of them just had an hour-long tête-à-tête and Xander felt awesome after sitting and talking with Buffy one on one. He was grateful for their friendship.  </p><p>He started walking backwards, letting his smile slip from his face as he turned and continued towards the sidewalk. He was reviewing his and Buffy’s conversation as he walked.  </p><p>She’d been let out of the hospital early, as the doctor's couldn’t explain her rapid healing. Apparently the doctor’s told Joyce that there was a mix up with test results and that Buffy was actually fine and free to head home.  </p><p>Two days passed with Buffy in the Hospital, before she was allowed to go home. Xander was grateful he’d answered his phone, when he did, since he got the drop on the gang to go over for a late night visit. He was happy to have alone time with the buffster. He’d missed her. The two of them hadn’t spent a lot of time together ever since the end of summer. Ever since Jamie.</p><p>A twig broke nearby, and Xander snapped to attention. He glanced around and straightened his spine as he continued walking. He couldn’t see anything and the night was quiet. His heart raced in his chest and he glanced back at the summer’s house knowing full well that he could run back there for safety. Instead, he fortified himself and continued home. He told himself a snapped twig wasn’t always a monster. Sometimes it was wildlife. He took his hands out of his pockets, just in case.</p><p>A block later, he heard a bush rustle behind him. Xander gulped and looked back, but still didn't see anything. He reminded himself that he now wore a vampire’s mark. He told himself that he would make it home unscathed.</p><p>No longer feeling safe on the sidewalk, lined with dark bushes, he stepped off the curb and continued to walk in the center of the street. He didn’t suspect traffic, since Sunnydale religiously closed up shop at 8pm.  </p><p>He was nearly home when he heard what sounded like footfalls behind him. When he glanced back, he saw nothing but heard a muted growl. Xander sped up his walk.  </p><p>Instinct made him want to run but he feared it might provoke an attack.  </p><p>He could see the outline of his parent's house down the street. He knew he wouldn’t be able to outrun a demon so he just stayed his course. Walking as fast as he could, Xander didn’t look back again. Either there was a demon behind him or there wasn’t. He didn't care about Schrodinger's demonic cat. He just wanted to get home, get some sleep, and then go to his humiliating job tomorrow morning.</p><p>Xander reached into his pocket and grabbed his keys as his feet reached the front grass. He prepared the correct key and when he reached the door he seamlessly slid the key into the lock, spun key and knob in unison, and pushed himself through the open door.  </p><p>He swung around to see who, or what, was behind him; but there was nothing.</p><p>Xander stood staring at the empty night air, heaving in breath after breath. Safe in the confines of his own home, he waited until his heart stopped pounding before he shut the door and locked it.  </p><p>Spike watched Harris standing in his doorway from across the street. The human was obviously rattled. Spike was glad. He’d been following the whelp since he’d left the Slayer’s place. At first, he’d thought the human was simply dumb and unaffected by a little bush rustle. Thankfully, though, by the time he chased the lad home, Spike decided that Harris was a pretty good little actor.  </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>“So, what did they say when you walked out of the hospital last night?” Faith said.</p><p>Buffy grinned as she gingerly stepped into the mansion’s living room, “There was a lot of stuttering and shuffling of papers.”</p><p>The brunette slayer watched her counterpart walk slower than usual across the room to sit down in an empty chair.</p><p>“It’s all good though," Buffy said, "Another night’s sleep and I’ll be as good as new.”</p><p>The occupants of the room stayed quiet and Buffy's smile fell from her face as her eyes flit to each of her friends in succession.  </p><p>Every look exchanged was sad and pitiful.</p><p>Xander glanced around at everyone's somber faces and knew exactly how they were feeling. Everyone felt bad watching Buffy play up fake cheerfulness for them. It was hard to watch, knowing that her heart and spirit were broken. But, he knew from experience, that sometimes it was just better to just keep moving forward with your chin up. So he made the decision to play along. He knew better then anyone that sometimes joking nonsense was exactly what the doctor ordered.</p><p>“Better then new!” he said.</p><p>All eyes turned to him and Xander rose from his seat and plastered a smile to his face.  </p><p>“We’ll get you a little cape,” he said, “And some neon cowboy boots... Then you’ll be the best little superhero in all the land.”</p><p>Buffy grinned at Xander and he smiled back as he saw the light in her eyes. The evening sunlight shone thru the window and caressed her face. He watched her squint and turned to look into the light before she turned back to him. “Hey, wanna go outside?”</p><p>Giles cleared his throat, “Oh, yes. There’s a lovely garden here. It’s in need of a repair, but lovely none the less. Would you care for a garden tour?”</p><p>Xander turned to look at Giles, curious to learn there was a garden. Buffy braced herself and stood from her chair and Xander stepped up beside her to offer her his arm.  </p><p>Buffy accepted it with a smile.  </p><p>Arm in arm, they followed Giles out of the mansion and into the back yard. Willow followed along behind them and they all congregated outside in the sunshine. They moved through the courtyard, looking at all the overgrown plants and flowers, while Giles and Willow surprised each other with their abilities to recognize most of the species.</p><p>Buffy stood with her face to the sun, eyes closed, enjoying the serenity of open space and nature. She valued her friends by her side, and she tried not to think of where Jamie was and what he was doing.</p><p>The sun began to set, and the air started to cool as the wind picked up. The gang moved back inside to sit around the large table covered in research books. Sitting on a chair, off to one side, Faith sat reading a book.</p><p>“Researching?” Buffy said.</p><p>Everyone took their seats around the large table while Faith set her book down and looked up, “No. Didn’t want to intrude.”</p><p>Buffy stared at Faith, “You’re not intruding.”</p><p>Faith stared back at the blond. She was curious what had happened to the other Slayer. She licked her lips, uncomfortable with the prolonged stare. She nodded.  </p><p>Buffy switched her attention to Giles and Faith didn’t know why but she was glad. There was something in the way that Buffy looked at her that creeped her out. The weight of her stare had changed. What was once accusatory was now sympathetic and Faith didn’t know how to deal with it.</p><p>Angel walked into the living room as he heard the front door open. He sensed Spike enter the mansion and he turned around and ducked back into the kitchen to warm up some pig’s blood. He’d need to have a full stomach to deal with William.</p><p>“Honey, I’m home!” Spike called out as he entered.</p><p>He sauntered into the main room with a grin. All heads turned to look at the peroxide blond vampire. He stopped short upon seeing the blond vampire Slayer.</p><p>He strut further into the room.</p><p>“Well, I see you’re fine, ducks. Where ya been?” Spike said.</p><p>Buffy stared at Spike, contemplating.</p><p>“Well, after I was drugged, I was locked in a cage by my boyfriend who tortured me by breaking both my legs and then when I escaped he drowned me.”</p><p>Spike’s eyebrows raised into the middle of his forehead.</p><p>“Yeah,” Buffy said, “I died. Again… I don’t know if “fine” is the right word.”</p><p>Spike blinked a few times, digesting the information. He stared at the small girl. He saw her pursed lips and the self-conscious way she crossed her arms over her chest.  Spike squinted and sucked in his cheeks as he glanced around the room. He took in everyone’s somber faces and then turned back to the Slayer. “Right. Well… Good for you. You’re still among the living. Better than some of us can say.”  </p><p>Buffy stared at the vampire and the corner of her mouth curled up in a small smile. Spike glanced away from her as Angel entered the room. Spike then turned back to the Slayer, realizing that he was holding himself tense in the center of the room. He forced himself to relax and move off to the side. He dropped himself down into a chair and turned to sneak a peek at Xander who conveniently sat in the chair next to him.</p><p>While listening to Angel and Buffy discussing her ordeal, Spike noticed that all he could smell was Xander’s pheromones. He tried to pay attention to the little meeting the white hats were having but he couldn’t stop thinking about the peculiar sameness between the man sitting next to him and Xander from the other reality.</p><p>“So how do we find this guy?” Angel said.</p><p>“I’ve found the address where he was arrested,” Willow said to Buffy, “Where you were held. It was in the police report.”</p><p>Buffy nodded as she hugged herself.</p><p>“He wouldn’t be there,” Xander said, “Why would he go back to the scene of the crime?”</p><p>“We should go do some recon anyway,” Faith put in.</p><p>Angel sighed, “Agreed, but again I ask, how do we find this guy?”</p><p>Spike snorted, “The prats a demon, I’m telling you. He had these swirly black eyes and he used mojo on me. Like it or not, I say we send out Harris tonight. He’s a demon magnet after all.”</p><p>Xander was affronted, “Hey! Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you can use me as bait!”</p><p>“We’re not using you as bait,” Buffy put in.</p><p>“That’s too bad,” Spike muttered.</p><p>“Why don’t we use you as bait, blood breath.” Xander said as he stood up, “You want to die so badly anyway.”</p><p>Spike snarled and jumped up. He stopped himself just in time to detour from grabbing the human. Instead, he pulled on his demonic mask and got in Harris’ face.</p><p>“What do you know about anything, you little pissant?”</p><p>Xander backed up, recalling at the last minute that Spike was no longer harmless to him. The amber eyes glaring into his soul made him flinch. Xander froze and swung his head to stare at Willow as the witch growled out, "Clauditis!" while pointing a finger at them.</p><p>Spike froze and turned to look at the red head. He lifted his hand to point his finger, “Now look here, Witch-”</p><p>He stopped talking when he realized that his arm felt heavier. He looked at his arm and saw Xander’s arm extended as well. He raised his arm more and saw the human’s arm moved a few inches higher too. Spike shook his arm and watched Xander’s arm shake. They were connected via an invisible magical chain. Spike tried to pull away and Xander stumbled to keep nearby him or else he’d lose his arm. Spike tugged at the cuff trying to get it off and he felt the chain put taut as Xander fiddled with the other length of the invisible chain.</p><p>“Willow-” Xander said.</p><p>He looked at her helplessly. He knew that this was exactly what they’d talked about. That this was what he had told her he wanted, but it wasn't a good time. He was mad at Spike now.</p><p>“You can’t do this!” Spike said.</p><p>“I just did,” Willow said, “Look, you two need to grow up and get along. I’m sick of you two bickering. There’s more important things going on. As if you couldn't tell!”</p><p>Xander slowly sat down on the edge of his chair, shocked at Willow’s outburst. He glanced at Spike who stood next to him glaring at the witch.  </p><p>The meeting moved forwards and Spike eventually sat down in his chair and proceeded to sulk. Xander felt the vampire pull randomly on the chain attached to the cuff on his wrist and with anxiety he realized that he had to pee. He gulped. It could wait.</p><p>Faith and Angel agree to do recon on the old farmhouse. Buffy was grateful to not return there and told them as much. Giles and Willow discussed setting up a new locator spell they'd read about to seek out the zombie talisman or origin. They planned to multi cast it, as it was a volatile spell and they would need to stabilize each other's magic.  </p><p>Meanwhile, Buffy gently kicked Xander and Spike out of the mansion, since the two continued to argue with one another about the invisible chain. She told them it was best that they leave so they didn’t disturb the spell.  </p><p>Spike yanked his arm up into the air, which propelled Xander to stand as well.</p><p>“Hey, be gentle," Xander said and yanked his arm back.</p><p>Spike growled, "'m not a dog, whelp."</p><p>Xander sniffed and followed the vampire out of the main room. While walking behind Spike in the hallway, he muttered, "Not much of a vampire, either."</p><p>He knew it was a low jab, but he didn't expect Spike to take him down to the ground. Which was exactly what the vampire did. Xander knelt huddled on the floor with his face smushed into the carpet and his hand bent at an unordinary angle. He tried to look up but he couldn’t move his head. Spike was using his own body against him. Xander was grateful he wasn’t in significant pain, even though he was in a strange position with his ass in the air and his arm twisted like a pretzel.</p><p>Spike tightened the joint manipulation on Xander’s wrist and the human winced and made a slight noise of pain. The vampire pressed his lips to the human’s ear and hissed, “What was that?”</p><p>Xander stammered, “N-n-nothing.”</p><p>Spike relented and slowly released Harris to let him stand up, “That’s what I thought.”</p><p>Spike turned and forcefully dragged Xander outside by the invisible chain between them. As soon as he was outside Spike pulled out a smoke and lit it. He silently thanked many notable deities when he saw he had a full pack.  </p><p>Xander sulked as the two of them walked into the dark night. Then an idea for revenge spoke to him, "You know, I have to do human things tonight, like go to the bathroom and, ya know, shower….”</p><p>As expected, Spike freaked out and railed at Xander. He didn’t hurt the human, but he punched a nearby tree instead. His knuckles bled and he bitched about losing his smoke. Xander rushed to keep up with the vampire while his wrist was worn raw from the chaffing of Spikes quick movement as he stormed about.  </p><p>Xander called after the vampire trying to calm him.</p><p>"Hey. Calm down. It’s only for a few days."</p><p>Spike stopped dead in his tracks and Xander ran into him.</p><p>"It's only for a few days?” Spike said, “You were in on this?”</p><p>Incredulous, the vampire turned to stare at the human.</p><p>“It’s just so we can be sure that you don't try to kill yourself again," Xander said.</p><p>Spike went deathly still and Xander winced as he heard the vampire growl in his chest, "You did this to me?"</p><p>Xander nodded, "Look, I know it sounds stupid, but I needed to-"</p><p>Spike reached out and gripped Xander’s arms as tight as he wanted, uncaring of hurting him, "You needed to what?"</p><p>Xander's eyes widened in fear upon hearing the demonic growl underlining Spike's voice. He winced in pain. "Keep you alive" he said.</p><p>Spike stared angry at the human for far too long. Xander filled with unease as he watched Spike’s eyes shift to look at his throat. The vampire growled again, a vibrating guttural sound, and Xander closed his eyes. He silently prayed that Spike didn’t bite him. He waited with bated breath.</p><p>Spike’s growl eventually tapered off and he tilted his head up to look up at the night sky. He took a deep breath and then let go of the whelp's biceps. He lifted his arm and the human's arm followed.</p><p>"Magical handcuffs?" he said.</p><p>Xander opened his eyes, one at a time, and saw that the vampire was glaring at him. He nodded.</p><p>The two stared at one another.</p><p>Xander's stomach growled, and the vampire growled in response as he quickly glanced around before snorting at his own unease. “Suppose we best get you fed then."</p><p>"Yeah and I need a shower," Xander said.</p><p>Spike looked at him sharply, "No you don’t."</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire and blinked.  </p><p>"Er, yeah, I do,” Xander said.</p><p>The human lifted his shirt, sniffed himself and then dropped the shirt as he made a face.</p><p>“Definitely do,” Xander said, “I stink, and my face is covered in grease. I thought you were a vampire; don’t you have a heightened sense of smell?”</p><p>Spike's mouth drew into a line as he walked ahead. The cuff bit into Xander's wrist and he rushed to keep up. The two walked the rest of the way to his parent's house in silence.  </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander made for the kitchen first, upon arriving home. Spike, of course, followed. Xander tore open a package of poptarts. He was starving. He began inhaling the food as his mother entered the kitchen. Neither he, nor Spike, said a word as they stood next to one another watching her pour herself a mug of half coffee and half Baileys.  </p><p>Jessica Harris looked between the two men standing in her kitchen as she held her mug in hand. In lieu of saying anything, she tipped her glass to them. Then she took a long sip of her drink as she walked away.</p><p>Xander was nearly finished his poptarts as he stood next to the vampire. He tried not to pull on the invisible cuff as he turned to look at Spike. The blond stared back at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Xander didn’t think it was a good look either. He pushed the last of poptart into his mouth and tugged on the vampire. “Come on. I need to pee.”</p><p>“Balls,” Spike said.</p><p>Xander nearly choked as he swallowed. He wanted to laugh at Spike’s misfortune, but at the same time he wasn’t keen on showing the vampire his junk.  </p><p>Xander descended down the hallway and the vampire clomped behind him. They entered the bathroom and Xander paused as he started to unzip his jeans. He glanced at Spike, who’d shut the door and was now looking at him. Xander felt vulnerable. He knew he wouldn’t be able to pee with the vampire staring at him, so he thought up an alternative.</p><p>Xander shook his head, “Today in ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this’, let’s kill two birds with one stone. I’ll just pee in the shower.”</p><p>Xander turned away from Spike and climbed into the shower, “Here, lift your hand up.”  </p><p>Spike kept his arm ridged and glared.  </p><p>The human took in a deep breath and tried to remain unaffected. He knew he could unlock the invisible cuff, but he hadn’t had a chance to talk to Spike yet about being suicidal.  </p><p>Keeping his tone firm, Xander commenced his plan. “Lift your arm.”</p><p>He reached up with both hands and started to unscrew the shower curtain rod.</p><p>Spike watched silently as the human moved the rod, stepped into the tub and pulled the slack of their cuffed wrists over the top of the pole before screwing the tension rod back into place.  </p><p>Spike stared at the colorful shower curtain as it closed in front of his face. He stood with his arm in the air, dangling from an invisible chain as he heard the human move around behind the curtain.</p><p>Suddenly Xander’s damp shirt was covering his hand. Spike stared at it. It reeked of the human’s pheromones and body odor. Spike stepped back from the offending item.</p><p>“Oi,” he protested.</p><p>The shower turned on and Spike sighed as he looked around at the bathroom. With his free hand he grabbed the shirt and tore it, causing it free fall to the ground. He then awkwardly tried to weasel his free hand into the opposing side of his jacket’s breast pocket. He carefully extracted a cigarette and put it between his lips as he reached across himself again to fetch the lighter.</p><p>Xander held onto the shower curtain rod for stability as he shimmied out of his pants and boxers and kicked them to the back of the tub. He relieved his bladder, grateful for the release, and grabbed the shampoo bottle to lathering up his head.</p><p>Spike winced as the sour smell of urine filled the air around him. He moved his body as far as possible away from his cuffed arm. Reaching out with his foot, he hit the switch that turned on the ceiling fan and then righted himself. Spike lit his smoke one handed and inhaled.</p><p>Xander sucked in a breath after reemerging from rinsing out his hair. His nose twitched when he smelled the burning tobacco.</p><p>“Hey, quit smoking!” Xander said.</p><p>Spike snorted, “Make me.”</p><p>Xander pulled himself up to peak over the shower rod. He glared at the vampire. The shower rod, no longer secure, lost purchase on the wall and slipped down a few inches.  </p><p>Xander turned back to the shower and quickly finished soaping himself up</p><p>Spike silently smoked his cigarette and then tossed it in the toilet when it was finished. He huffed while he waited for the human to finish his shower. He grinned and reached out to awkwardly flushed the toilet.</p><p>When the water temperature changed, Xander moved to the other side of the tub.</p><p>“God, you’re an asshole,” Xander said.</p><p>Now that the bar was lower on the wall, he could see Spike now and he glared at the vampire as he waited for the hot water to cool down again. He quickly rinsed his body and turned off the water.</p><p>“Can you pass me a towel?” Xander said.</p><p>Spike sucked in his cheeks and pursed his lips while he turned and grabbed a towel from a hook nearby. He tossed it at Xander’s head.  </p><p>Xander slipped as he lost his vision but caught himself. He pulled the towel down from his face, and resumed glaring at the vampire. He brought the towel down behind the curtain to try wrapping it around his waist.</p><p>“You’re such an ass,” Xander said.</p><p>“I’m the ass? You’re the one out here handcuffing me against my bloody will!”</p><p>Spike glared at the invisible cuff on his wrist and growled, “You think I wanna smell your piss?”</p><p>“Hey, count yourself lucky that I didn’t have to shit,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike lunged at Xander, grabbing the shower curtain bar and pushing it into the human’s throat.  </p><p>Xander choked as he was pressed back into the corner of the shower. He sputtered as he clawed at the metal bar. His feet slipping against the wet tub.</p><p>After a moment, Spike stopped himself, dropping the metal bar. It fell against the tub with a clang as he shoved away from the human. When the cuff resisted his movement, he snarled. “And you’re lucky that I haven’t ripped your bloody arm off yet."</p><p>Spike turned and glared into the human’s reflection in the mirror. He was looking through himself.</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire’s back with wide eyes from his position plastered against the shower wall. He rubbed his throat as he focused on swallowing. He felt like his Adams apple was pushed in. The shower curtain lay in the crook of his arm, draping the plastic sheet over him. He was grateful for it, because during the scuffle his towel dislodged and sat on the floor of the tub.  </p><p>Spike took a moment to calm down before he turned back to the human. He moved closer and made a move with his free hand to pick up the shower rod.</p><p>“Wait!” Xander said as Spike pulled the curtain rod from Xander’s grasp. The human stood pressed against the wall in all his naked glory.</p><p>Spike froze as his eyes took in Xander’s nude form. His hands fumbled with the curtain rod and he dropped the pole into the tub with a clank. The vampire’s quick sharp eyes roamed over the body before him, cataloging no difference to the human in the other reality. Harris and Xander were identical.</p><p>Xander watched mortified as Spike looked at his naked body. He covered his dick with his free hand just as the vampire finished giving him a once over. Xander felt humiliation coil in his gut when the vampire’s sight averted to the floor. Spike closed his eyes, looking pained as he turned his head away.</p><p>Standing in disbelief, Xander acknowledged that Spike had just checked him out. He also wondered what the hell kind of reaction that was? He waited for the laughter or smart remark, but nothing came.  </p><p>Xander reached down for the damp towel and wrapped it around himself before stepping out of the shower. He cleared his throat and tried to talk but it hurt too much. He reached out for another towel, inadvertently tugging on the vampire while he did so.  </p><p>Spike turned to look at him and watched as Xander tried to dry his hair with one hand. The towel started to slip off his head and Spike reached out to grab it. The corners of his mouth curled up in a self-depreciating smirk, as he tasked himself with roughly drying the human’s head.</p><p>Xander, enshrouded in the darkness of the towel, held his arm up to give the cuff more slack. Spike scrubbed his head harshly with the towel and when his hair was sufficiently dry, Spike slid the towel down behind the mortal’s head so that it lay around the back of his neck in a coil.  </p><p>Xander blinked and looked down to see Spike’s hands still gripping each end of the towel. He could feel the weight of the moment. It would only take a second for Spike to strangle him. Xander sucked a breath in and fortified himself for whatever fate decided. As he looked up, his eyes caught the vampire's. Xander realized how close they were standing. He’d normally use sarcastic humor at this point but He felt goosebumps raise on his arms and the hair on the back of his neck raise. He felt like something was going to happen.</p><p>Spike continued to stare at him and Xander recognized the look in the vampire’s eyes. He’d seen it a few times before and he licked his lips. He wondered if the vampire was going to kiss him again. Xander froze in anticipation. He didn’t know if he wanted him to, not after being attacked by him.</p><p>Spike blinked and looked away before he took a step back.  </p><p>Xander released his pent-up breath and turned towards the vanity. He spied his watch sitting on the counter and he reached out to grab it. He wrapped it around his free wrist and then he glanced up at the mirror to see himself standing alone in its reflection.  </p><p>He ran a brush thru his hair while he pondered whether he even wanted the vampire’s kiss or not. Spike certainly seemed offended by his nudity. So what the hell were they doing sporadically kissing?</p><p>“Oi. Hurry up.” Spike said, “You still have to eat your candy or whatever,”  </p><p>Xander looked up confused as he pulled the damp towel down from his neck and wiped down his chest.  </p><p>“Eat…” Xander said.</p><p>He wanted to say more but couldn’t. He swallowed painfully.</p><p>“What?” Xander tried again.</p><p>“Candy.” Spike said, “Isn’t that what you lot eat?”</p><p>Xander snorted and hooked the towel behind the bathroom door as he exited the room. He cinched the wet towel around his waist as the vampire trailed behind him.  </p><p>Xander dragged Spike downstairs to a clean laundry pile and pulled clothes out. He sat down on the edge of the bed and began to work his boxers and pants up his legs. Spike stepped behind him onto the pulled out hideabed and plopped down beside him. The vampire laid his body back and propped his head up with his unshackled arm while keeping his other wrist as close to the mortal as he dared.</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire, “Mind turning away?”</p><p>Spike rolled his eyes and shifted off his free arm. He rolled partially away and Xander watched him start digging between the couch cushions for the TV remote.  </p><p>Xander turned away, dropped the towel and finished pulling up his boxers and jeans. He pulled on a sleeveless undershirt by stretching it out a bit and then reached for his shirt he'd saved for later and noticed it absent.</p><p>“Hey!” Xander’s hands came up to his sore throat. “You ripped my shirt?”</p><p>Spike shrugged, “You weren’t going to wear it anyway.”</p><p>“Of course, I was! How am I supposed to put on a shirt now?”</p><p>“You’re wearing a shirt, aint ya?” Spike said.</p><p>“This is an undershirt,” Xander said.</p><p>“What’s the point of having a shower and then wearing a dirty shirt?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire. Spike stared back and then raised an eyebrow. Xander huffed as his stomach growled. He decided that he’d think on how to put on a new shirt while he ate.</p><p>“Whatever. Come on. Sit up. I’ll figure out a shirt later, I have to eat something of substance.”</p><p>Xander and Spike moved back upstairs to the kitchen. Spike stilled half way into the room, thus stopping Xander’s progress to the fridge. The human stumbled as he was yarded backwards.</p><p>“Hey!” Xander said.</p><p>Spike lifted a small box from the kitchen table, “What the heck are these?”  </p><p>“Confetti granola bars,” Xander said.</p><p>He cleared his throat and swallowed, grateful he could talk freely again.</p><p>“Do you really not eat anything that isn’t candy?” Spike said.</p><p>“Granola bars aren’t candy,” Xander said, “It’s oats and…”</p><p>“And what? Unicorn farts? Mermaid roadkill? It’s bloody candy, mate.”</p><p>Xander looked closely at the box and had to acquiesce, “Okay, sure, maybe that’s candy, but I eat a lot of things that aren’t candy.”</p><p>“Name two,” Spike said.</p><p>Xander didn’t like the smirk on the vampire’s face, “I eat cereal for breakfast. Every single day, I’ll have you know.”</p><p>“With marshmallows, which is also candy.”  </p><p>Xander blinked. How did Spike know which cereal he ate?</p><p>“Okay, fine… But, oh! I eat burgers. Ha! That’s not candy.”  </p><p>Spike snorted, “Right, from your job? There’s nothing nutritional about that meat, let alone it being slathered in all those condiments.”</p><p>Xander grabbed a confetti mermaid granola bar and opened it. He took a big bite, eating half of it while staring at the vampire. He wondered why Spike was so weirdly preoccupied with what he ate all of a sudden.</p><p>Spike sneered as he watched the mortal chew. Then he looked around the kitchen.  </p><p>“I bet you I could cook you something amazing, and healthy, with whatever is in this hovel,” Spike said.</p><p>Xander shrugged, “Alright. I’ll bite. What’s the bet?”</p><p>Spike licked his teeth as he thought. He glanced around the kitchen and saw a folded up ‘kiss the cook’ apron across the room. He pulled the human by the wrist towards it.</p><p>“If I don’t make you something you like, then I’ll be on the hook to do a favor for you.” Spike said, “But, if I make something you do like, then you owe me a favor.”  </p><p>Xander watched Spike open the apron. He held still while the vampire wrapped it around his torso and tied it around his neck and back. Xander shifted and stifled a laugh as Spike’s fingertips tickled his back. He straightened, smothered a smile, thinking it an oddly thoughtful gesture from the vampire.</p><p>Xander followed Spike’s directions as they raided the fridge and cupboards for ingredients. Once Spike decided what to make, he collected all his prep on the counter and started to cook. Xander kept his hands bearing his weight on the counter and occasionally he’d jerk forward as Spike moved his arm yanking on the invisible cuff.  </p><p>For the most part, the vampire worked in silence. If Xander said anything Spike would shoot smarmy barbs back. All in all, Xander zoned out thinking about the upcoming conversation they needed to have while he watched Spike’s dexterous hands prepare the food.</p><p>There were intermittent times when Xander would fill with fear, like when Spike turned to him with a knife for instance, since he knew he was no longer safe from the chip. Not only that, but Spike had a large, sharp knife in hand and they were cuffed together, and Spike knew it was because of him. Xander pondered how he was lucky to be alive, let alone being fed.</p><p>He came back to himself as Spike dished up the food and moved towards the table.  </p><p>Xander followed along and nodded when Spike asked if he was ready. He sat down next to Spike at the table and picked up a fork to take a bite. He felt strange having Spike’s eyes on him so intently, but he took the time to assess the food.  </p><p>He eventually nodded his head, “Alright, I owe you a favor. This was your big plan all along, wasn’t it?”</p><p>"Might'a been," Spike preened, “It’s always nice having a favor in the pocket,”</p><p>Xander shook his head ruefully and shoveled more food into his mouth. He was surprised how tasty the dish was.</p><p>Spike smirk slipped from his face when he started to scratch an itch beneath his invisible cuff, “When’s this thing come off then?”</p><p>Xander kept chewing his mouthful of food. He figured this was as good as time as any to talk to Spike. He swallowed and lowered his fork.  </p><p>“I guess… when you tell me why you’re suicidal,” he said.</p><p>Spike stared at Xander with squinted eyes. Xander looked down at his plate and he forked his food around.</p><p>“I mean, I know you said you weren’t”, Xander said, “but I saw you forfeiting. I saw...”  </p><p>The vampire stared at the mortal until Xander looked up again. Their eyes caught and held.</p><p>“What’s it to you, anyway?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander bit the inside of his bottom lip. He didn’t know what to say. He stared at the vampire until he had to look away again. He looked down at the food before him and resumed fidgeting with it. He looked up when Spike tugged on the invisible cuff and shifted in his seat. Xander watched the vampire stare at him curiously.  </p><p>Spike eventually pursed his lips and shrugged, “Doesn’t matter,”</p><p>After a moment he continued, “Already told ya, didn’t I? Slayer’s boyfriend did some mojo on me.”</p><p>The vampire grew antsy for a smoke and started bouncing his foot up and down under the table. Xander unconsciously put his cuffed hand down on the vampire’s thigh to stop the movement and Spike’s leg stilled and he sat as frozen as a block of ice staring at Xander with wide eyes.  </p><p>Xander realized what he was doing and he quickly moved his hand away. Embarrassed, he reached across the table with the offending hand and picked up the discarded newspaper. He shifted it about until he found his favorite section and then he finished eating while he scanned through them.</p><p>Spike picked up the discarded pages of the paper as Xander ignored him to read through the funny comics.  </p><p>Xander finished eating while scanning through the tv guide. He saw a sports game that he wanted to see and exclaimed aloud how stoked he was to be able to catch it. The vampire, not taking his eyes from the newspaper, admitted that he wanted to watch the game as well. Xander glanced at Spike and then forced his head down to faux read the paper as he internally wondered what bizzaro world he’d entered.</p><p>Xander set aside the paper and stood up. Spike stood as well and the two of them moved around the kitchen cleaning up. They stuffed the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, then they made their way down the hall. When they passed the bathroom, Xander pulled Spike inside and had him help put the tension rod for the shower curtain back up. He then grabbed the wet towels and old clothes and brought them downstairs to throw in the laundry machine.</p><p>Spike followed the human around like a dejected puppy. He knew he was trapped. He could rip the human’s arm off, but he was beginning to realize that he liked it intact. He also knew he'd just won a favour for the meal, but he didn't want to waste it so soon just to get the cuff off.  </p><p>Spike sighed and parked himself next to the human as he settled on the pulled out hideabed to watch TV. He saw Xander reach into the couch cushions and withdraw the remote and he scowled. He’d known it was in there earlier.</p><p>The two of them sat reclining side by side on the pull-out bed. They bickered little during the game, as they were each cheering for the same team. When their team won Xander threw his arms up in the air, dragging up the vampires cuffed arm attached to it. He went for a high five, and when Spike looked up at him with a bored expression, Xander grabbed the vampire's dangling hand with one hand and then he high-fived the apathetic pale hand with his free hand.  </p><p>Spike snorted and dragged the human back down to the bed with ease. He eyed the curly dark hair peeking out of Xander’s undershirt and then glanced away. “Right then. Figure out how to put on a shirt yet?”</p><p>Xander looked down at his chest and then up at Spike with a crooked grin, “Nope.”</p><p>Spike sighed, “I need out of this basement, whelp.”</p><p>Xander looked around and then gripped the invisible cuff. He slid his finger underneath it and decided he could probably find a thin shirt to slide under it.  </p><p>“Here, come here,” Xander said.</p><p>He pulled Spike over to his clean clothes pile and pulled out a thin Hawaiian shirt. He oriented how it should go on and then started to slide the thin colorful fabric underneath the invisible cuff.</p><p>Xander looked up to see Spike watching him. He continued his tedious work and then pulled the fabric free on the other side. His arm was in the arm hole and Xander cheered as he pulled the shirt over his torso.</p><p>“Ta Da!” he said.</p><p>Spike raised an eyebrow, “Time to go, then?”</p><p>“Yep,”</p><p>Xander grabbed his keys and wallet and the two headed out. They headed up the path to the main street walking in sync, and then once they hit the cross road they both pulled each other in different directions.</p><p>"Oi!" Spike growled.</p><p>“Hey!” Xander said.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Spike said.</p><p>“Mansion. We should see if Buffy needs help on patrol,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike snorted, “Like you help on patrol.”</p><p>Xander glared, “Hey. I have helped. Many times. Thank you very much.”</p><p>Spike said nothing but looked at Xander with a smirk implying otherwise.</p><p>Xander huffed, “I have,” before he gave up talking to the vampire.  </p><p>As they reentered the Mansion, Spike covered Xander’s mouth and dragged Xander down a hallway that he’d never been down before. Once Xander calmed his mini freak out, Spike released his mouth and put a finger to his lips to shush the human.</p><p>Xander stayed quiet because he was curious. He followed Spike as the vampire led him into a kitchen.  </p><p>“I feel like we shouldn’t be in here,” he whispered.</p><p>Spike glared at him as he moved towards a large fridge in the corner of the room.  </p><p>Xander watched as Spike opened the fridge, pulled out 4 packets of blood and placed three in his coat pockets while handing the fourth to Xander.</p><p>“What- what am I supposed to do with this?”  </p><p>“Put it in your pocket like before,” Spike said.</p><p>Xander stilled and bit his lip while the vampire grinned at him. He recalled the last time he had blood in his pocket. He’d been carrying it to bribe Spike. It also happened to be the first time Spike kissed him. He reached out and accepted the blood packet and slid it into his back pocket as he stared into the vampire’s blue eyes.</p><p>Spike analyzed the human’s face before he turned away and pulled on the cuff. Xander fell into step along side him and they returned to the main hallway. The pair traipsed through the halls towards the main room.  </p><p>When they entered the living room, they found it packed with Scooby’s. The whole gang was together, plus some. Everyone was bickering and conversation didn't stop as Spike drew Xander across the room and to a sofa against the side wall. The two sat down next to one another and listened in on the group.  </p><p>After learning that not much was happening, Spike whispered to Xander that they should ditched out early. Xander stared at the vampire confused, but nodded. They left the group without saying goodbye, which Xander felt was weird. It was as if he and Spike snuck away. The two walked down the moonlit street in silence until Spike slowed to a stop.  </p><p>Xander stopped beside him. “What?”</p><p>The vampire was looking far off into the distance but Xander couldn’t see anything.</p><p>“Undo the cuff,” Spike said.</p><p>Xander filled with fear as he heard the urgency in the vampire's voice. His first thought was to undo the cuff, but then he wondered if this was just Spike's ploy to get the cuff off. He shook his head no. His ears picked up on the sound of something approaching. It sounded like thunder, or large metal garbage cans rubbing against each other. Xander turned to stare blindly into the darkness.  </p><p>“What’s out there?” he said.</p><p>“Harris, let me go,” Spike said, “Undo the cuff.”</p><p>“No,” Xander said, “If I leave, you'll just let yourself get killed!”  </p><p>“Yer gonna get me killed, dumbass,” Spike said.</p><p>Spike turned to stare at the human. He implored him with his eyes to undo the magical cuff and when the human didn’t do as he said, the vampire shook his head and turned his attention back to the approaching demon.</p><p>“Git,” Spike muttered.</p><p>The demon suddenly appeared out of the darkness and Xander flinched as it lunged towards them. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought the demon was a dog. Before he could even react, Spike pushed him to the side and then unceremoniously yanked him back again by the cuff on his arm.  </p><p>Xander eventually found his balance and focused on not hindering the fight. He tried to keep his arm loose to let Spike do with it what he could. Thankfully the vampire’s dominant hand wasn’t locked up such as Xander’s was and he was able to do some actual damage.</p><p>When the fight started Xander felt like a rag doll, following his wrist as it flailed about in battle. Eventually he got the hang of staying near Spike as he lashed out at the demon. Xander remained relatively unscathed besides his bruised, burning wrist.</p><p>While Spike and the demon fought, Xander wondered what kind of demon they were fighting. He didn’t recognize it from any of the books he’d read. It looked like an obsidian tiger with two heads. It appeared to have had three heads at one point but the left most head was now torn away leaving a gaping pus filled amber colored wound.  </p><p>Xander thought to himself that the fight was going fairly well despite Spike having a human sized ball and chain. The fight progressed at an even keel until Spike ended up with a broken brow bone which caused him to rage out on the demon and pummel it. Xander complained as he was jarred and yanked about violently.</p><p>Then the momentum stopped, and the demon opponent fell back and lay spread eagle on the cement.</p><p>“This would be a great time to kill it!” Xander said</p><p>Spike turned to the human with a pained glare, “I’ll kill you in a second,”</p><p>Xander clamped his mouth shut and stepped back. He raised his hands in surrender and winced from the chaffing pain in his wrist.</p><p>Spike stood breathing harshly as he watched the demon dog get back up and charge. Spike parried the attacking heads with his elbow as he dodged towards Xander. Spike kicked out at the demon, catching it in between the back legs. The blow knocked the demon dog back down again and Spike figured it was as good as time as any to make a run for it. He grabbed the human’s hand and tugged him along, running as fast as they could around the corner.</p><p>The demon was audibly right behind them and the chase was on. Once they rounded the corner, Spike realized that the human wouldn’t be able to run fast enough for them to outrun the demon. Without warning, he snagged Xander, hurled him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and continued running.</p><p>“Hey!” Xander squealed.</p><p>Spike ran a winding path through town and arrived back at the Harris residence in due time.  </p><p>He set Xander down, once he stepped foot in the front yard and Xander stepped back and leaned against a large tree. He put his face in his hands as blood refilled his head. After a moment, his hand was yanked away from his face and Xander looked up at the vampire glaring at him.</p><p>Spike’s face was still demonic and his amber eyes zeroed in on him, “You should have undone the cuff. You could have died.”</p><p>"I didn’t!" Xander said.</p><p>The two glared at one another while Xander adjusted his back flat against the wood of the tree behind him.  </p><p>Spike shook away his vampire façade and stepped closer. He lifted his free arm and placed it on the tree beside the mortal’s head.  </p><p>Xander sucked in a breath and let it out through his nose as he watched Spike close in on him.</p><p>“It's cos yer lucky,” Spike said, “but remember, the slayer stakes me if I let you die.”  </p><p>The human flinched as the vampire moved his hand from the tree to the nape of his neck. Bits of bark peppered his skin.</p><p>Xander’s eyes strayed down to the vampire’s pink mouth as Spike licked his bottom lip and inched closer. He closed his eyes as Spike closed the distance between them. Their lips pressed together and he was shocked by the coolness of the vampire's mouth.</p><p>Xander pulled away for a second, eyes still closed, before he shifted his face forward again to renew the kiss.</p><p>Spike zeroed in on the human’s warm wet lips as he tended to them with an aching sweetness. It felt like coming home. The human smelled and tasted just like Xander from the other world. Spike moved closer to the mortal, slipping his tongue into his mouth as he pressed the length of his body against him.  </p><p>Xander reached up a hand between them to push Spike away as the vampire's wet tongue swept up against his own. He laid his hand on Spike's chest. Instead of pushing him away, as intended, he found his hand clutching at the black tee-shirt.  </p><p>Spike pulled back and gave the human’s bottom lip one last kiss before he backed away completely and opened his eyes.  </p><p>Xander sucked in breath as he raised his eyelids. Spike still had his hand around the back of his neck. He felt the vampire’s cool thumb brush over the scar on his throat and Xander felt a thrill infuse him. He licked his lips.  </p><p>Spike found himself consumed by the idea that he could have Harris from this reality turn into Xander from the other reality. He didn’t know where to start, but he figured kissing couldn’t hurt. Spike clenched his teeth as he stared at the mortal. As much as he wanted him, he had to remember that this wasn't the same Xander that was in the other reality. He forced himself to look at him. To really look at the human standing before him. He took in his flushed face, unkempt hair, and the kissed red lips. He assessed the unsure, curious look in the whelp's eyes.</p><p>Xander blinked as he watched as the vampire’s gaze flit back and forth over his face. He felt like Spike was searching for something. Then the vampire was stepping closer again and closing his eyes. Xander closed his own eyes and accepted more sweet kisses. Then Spike was tilting his head again and deepened the kiss. Xander passionately participated.</p><p>The vampire pushed Xander flush against the tree as laid his body fully up against him. He shifted their pelvis’s together and the mortal froze.</p><p>Xander turned his head to the side and broke the kiss as he felt the vampire’s excitement. It freaked him out and he gasped in much-needed breath and opened his eyes.  </p><p>Spike continued to kiss over his cheek and down his neck, causing him to shiver. The thought ‘Spike could kill you right now’, flashed through his mind.  </p><p>Xander bit his lip. He felt like a tease. Sure, he’d been having fun with the kiss. It got him excited, he could admit that he liked it, but he also didn’t want to find out what would happen between two dudes after kissing.  </p><p>He took a deep breath and then croaked, “Solvite”.</p><p>Xander felt the invisible cuff around his wrist dissolve and the vampire still against him. He turned to face Spike and he watched as the vampire released him and stepped back.</p><p>The two of them stared at one another. Spike tilted his head to the side and his mouth twisted into a perplexed frown. Shadows carved out his cheekbones as he squinted at Xander.  </p><p>The two stared at one another before Spike turned to walk away. The leather coat swirled around him as he strode off.  </p><p>Xander let go of his pent-up breath and lay back against the tree as he watched the blond vampire disappear into the night.  </p><p>When he could no longer see the shock of bleach blond hair he raised his head back to look up into the tree canopy. He wondered what the hell was going on. Why was Spike kissing him all the time now? And a better question, why was he getting off on it?  </p><p>A strange noise disturbed Xander’s immediate atmosphere and he decided to go inside. Ensconced in his basement, he crawled into his bed and agonized the rest of the night about losing himself in kisses with an undead monster.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Shadow Fantasy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Jamie was home. Drusilla knew this because she was no longer in her body. She wasn't worried. She knew exactly where she was. </p><p>Long ago, while still human and under the torturous hands of Angelus, she'd created a safe space for herself within her own mind. A mental landscape where she could escape to. Though, she rarely had use for the space. Until now.</p><p>The mental space was a place where Drusilla could float free from her body. She was aware that there were tears falling down her cheeks from a far away place. She could faintly hear her own screams from a distance, but she shook away the thoughts to focus on what was truly happening to her. It didn't matter what Jamie did to her body. She was a vampire, she would survive it. What worried her was her mental state. It had been a long while since Drusilla had need of her mental refuge. </p><p>Drusilla was bodiless, but able to see. She knew better then to do so, though, and kept her eyes shut.</p><p>Within the mental space, Drusilla knew that if she opened her eyes, she'd invited in a bombardment of visions. Fragmented memories of what was destined to happen would clash with fragments of what could possibly happen. Within moments her mind would shatter to a jumbled mess. It wasn't worth it to open her eyes. </p><p>Drusilla knew the workings of her mental space well. She just had to wait and be patient. </p><p>Intermittently, and entirely without her control, Drusilla would sometimes be pulled out of her mental space. She'd feel like she was falling, and then she'd open her eyes and be back in her physical body. It was in those moments, when she could hear Jamie’s footsteps on the hardwood floor and the grinding sound of the torture implement alongside her own screams, that she'd wonder why she was withstanding all this torture. Then, she'd recall a split second memory of handing William the Chao stone.</p><p>Drusilla was grateful she'd passed the spelled stone off in time. He was why she was doing this. William was the reason she was still here being tortured ad nauseum. </p><p>All she could do was wait.</p><p>"William," she sighed.</p><p>Seconds later, Drusilla was sent back to the darkness of her mental space.</p><p> </p><p>* * * </p><p> </p><p>Willow put on her resolve face and steadied her stomach as she stepped into the espresso pump. She immediately caught sight of Oz and Tara sitting in a booth together. They were smiling and talking. Willow analyzed how close the two were sitting next to one another before she told herself to shut it down because she gave up the right to care.</p><p>She walked over to the booth and pulled up a smile, “Hey.”</p><p>“Hey,” Oz said.</p><p>“Hi,” Tara said.</p><p>Willow felt sick to her stomach, but she took her seat awkwardly. She tried to focus on the task at hand.</p><p>“So… You guys wanted to talk?”</p><p>Oz nodded and Tara looked between Oz and Willow. The three sat in uncomfortable silence. </p><p>Willow spoke, “Um... like a band aid would be best, I think.”</p><p>She watched as Tara looked between her and Oz. Willow turned to Oz, expecting a straight answer.</p><p>As predicted, he cleared his throat, “We're going to try it... dating... We figured you should know.”</p><p>Willow sucked her lips into her mouth and tried to stay on an even keel. She nodded.</p><p>Oz continued, as a loud group of kids entered the coffee shop and Willow was overcome by the cacophony of everyday noises. She blinked owlishly for a second and recognized Oz was still talking.</p><p>“...we’ll try to stay out of your hair for a while.”</p><p>Willow blinked and looked at Tara. Tara offered a small smile, which Willow returned. The red head nodded as she took in what they were saying.</p><p>Willow felt she had to get out of there. She rose from her seat and said, “That’s great you guys. We’ll talk soon, okay?”</p><p>Without waiting for a response, Willow smiled at Tara and Oz and left the store. </p><p>As she walked around the corner, liquid leaked out of her eyes and she brushed it away before rushing home. She ran blindly and unthinking. Once she arrived at the dorms, she sat down on her bed wondering when Buffy would get back. </p><p>It took her a minute to remember that Buffy was still staying with her mom. Willow decided she didn’t want to be alone so she called Xander but there was no answer. She assumed he was working and sighed in defeat. She felt like she needed someone to talk to.</p><p>Willow thought of Giles and then decided that he would probably be the best choice anyway. Giles was level headed and kind. Not to mention he would be at home, since he was currently unemployed and broke. Willow wiped her face and blew her nose before she headed back out. She was happy to have a plan of action.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Giles adjusted the phone to his ear. The telephone cord pulled taut as he flipped through a book at his desk. He listened to his ex work colleague and then spoke into the receiver.</p><p>“Yes, well. I do have two young witches, at my disposal, as you say… But, the fact of the matter is, I believe this magic is out of their realm of expertise.” </p><p>Giles flipped shut the book and sighed as he stared at the cover. He reached under his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose.</p><p>“Look, Joseph, you could have just said no. There’s no need to give me the run around.”</p><p>Giles picked up the book as Joseph let him go.</p><p>“Yes, Righto, you as well. Good day.”</p><p>Giles moved to hang up the phone. Once he did so, he shook his head and looked down at the book. It was bound with orange leather. He found it rather striking. There was a lone embossment on the front of a golden sun. Giles moved to open the book cover and jumped when there was a knock at the door.</p><p>Giles glanced at the door and then at the book in his hands. With a frown he set the book down on his desk and placed another book on top of it to cover it. He moved to answer the door and saw it was Willow through the peep hole. He swiftly let her inside, surprised by the state of the girl.</p><p>“I look that bad, huh?” she said.</p><p>Giles floundered, “Oh, no, not at all. Tea?”</p><p>Willow nodded and gave him a small smile. She entered the room and moved to sit on the sofa where she tucked her feet up under herself.</p><p>Giles put on the kettle and through the kitchenette window he could see the misery pouring off the red head. He re-entered the living room with a box of tissues and he set them down on the table as he sat down. </p><p>“What’s happened? You look like as though you’ve been crying,” he said.</p><p>“Nothing’s happened.” Willow said.</p><p>She assured him with a smile that belied her red face as she reached out for a tissue.</p><p>“It’s just, I didn’t want to be alone,” she said.</p><p>Giles shifted from his chair to sit down beside the girl on the couch. He looked at her gently as he spoke.</p><p>“I urge you to ‘talk it out’. Catharsis is said to be good for the soul,” Giles said.</p><p>Willow shyly smiled and stared at a spot on the coffee table.</p><p>“I’ve just been holding in so much, trying to be strong for everyone else. I just feel like I can’t figure myself out, you know? I thought I did the right thing. But if I did what was right, then why does it hurt so much?”</p><p>Willow started tearing up and she dabbed at her eyes with the tissue. Then she held her breath, to stop the tears, which caused her to cry harder. She put her face in her hands and shrank into herself.</p><p>Giles moved in and wrapped his arms around her. He held her and listened as the crying tapered off and then finally stopped. When she was calm, he pulled back. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Willow nodded, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cry all over you.” </p><p>She reached out to dab his shoulder with her tissue.</p><p>Giles took her hand, “I’m not worried about my shirt, Willow. I’m only worried about your feelings at this moment.”</p><p>Willow smiled up at him, looking into his eyes. Giles swallowed and found himself unable to look away. Luckily, the kettle whistled, and their prolonged eye contact broke. Giles stood. “Let me get that.”</p><p>Willow nodded and wrapped her arms around herself as Giles left the room.</p><p>The ex-watcher silently asked himself, “What the bleeding hell was that?” as he poured the kettle water into a teapot. He shook his head at himself as he set up the tea tray with sugar, cream and biscuits.</p><p>He wondered what he could possibly say to the young girl in her crisis as he collected the tray. He braced himself to be a good listener and then brought out the tea tray and set it down on the coffee table. Giles retook his seat in the chair opposite the redhead on the couch.</p><p>Willow doctored her tea and explained, “I’m just so confused. I did what I thought was right, and now I feel awful.”</p><p>Giles squinted, “I’m not sure I follow you. Why don’t you start at the beginning?”</p><p>Willow nodded. She tried to sip her tea, found it too hot, and then set it down. She sat back on the couch and looked down at the tissue in her hands.</p><p>“Yeah, okay... So, Tara and I went to LA to visit Oz and go to a concert. It was our special date vacation.”</p><p>Giles held his scalding tea in hand and silently nodded, “Yes, I recall.”</p><p>He waited for the red head to further expunge whatever was bothering her.</p><p>“Well, I felt like something was coming before I left, but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. It was just this shift in energy. And then Tara and I got there, and we all had a fabulous time. Like really great and…”</p><p>Willow stopped talking and looked up at Giles. She squished up her nose and looked down into her lap. Her eyes started to well and she took a deep breath.<br/> <br/>“I won’t judge you, Willow,” Giles said.</p><p>“We, uh, we all left the concert pretty drunk and well, when we got back to Oz’s, um… well, we, three, uh…”</p><p>Suddenly understanding, Giles nodded, “Oh. Right.”</p><p>Willow sniffed and squirmed.</p><p>“Right… So… And that was fine. But, the next morning, I… It was just extremely apparent that Oz and Tara are perfect for one another. And I didn't tell them how I felt, at first... But then I did. Later. I told them that I thought they belonged together… And then today…  I met up with them and they... well, they're dating now.”</p><p>Giles sat silent, waiting for more information.</p><p>“Which is exactly what I thought I wanted,” Willow continued, “but my heart is broken, and I have no idea why.”</p><p>Pensive, Giles took a sip of his forgotten tea. Willow reached out for her cup to followed suit.</p><p>Giles cleared his throat, “Do you want a polyamorous relationship with the two of them?” he said.</p><p>Willow looked at him shocked, “What? No… No. I don’t think so. I mean I don’t want to get back together with Oz. And I mean, I love Tara, but… they’re actually perfect for one another.” </p><p>Willow stopped talking and her face crumpled up. She wiped her nose with her tissue.</p><p>“And you don’t want to lose Tara?” Giles said.</p><p>“No…” Willow said, “It’s selfish right?”</p><p>“Well, perhaps... Often matters of the heart are more complex.”</p><p>“That’s for sure,” Willow said.</p><p>She reached out and grabbed a tissue, pulling the last ply from the box.</p><p>“Would you like more tissue?” Giles asked.</p><p>“Please,” Willow said and wiped her face again with the lone sodden piece.</p><p>Giles rose and left the room. Willow glanced around the room like she was looking for a life raft. She saw Giles’s guitar case open and she glanced around and then back at the guitar case.</p><p>When Giles returned with another tissue box, he extended it to her, and Willow gratefully cleaned herself up.</p><p>“Heading to a jam session later?” she said.</p><p>Giles followed Willow’s eyes to the guitar case, and he cleared his throat.</p><p>“Oh, um, yes, the Espresso Pump at eight,” he said.</p><p>Willow glanced at the clock.</p><p>“Can I come?”</p><p>“Er, I suppose,” he said.</p><p>Willow smiled up at him, “Great!” </p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Willow followed Giles into the Espresso pump. She glanced at the booth she’d earlier shared with Oz and Tara, then she looked at the makeshift stage erected since then. She smiled up at Giles as he led her towards the front of the stage. He offered her a nearby seat and asked her to watch his coat and guitar before saying he had to meet up with the owner.</p><p>Willow ordered a latte as she waited for Giles to begin playing. Then, once he started, Willow forgot where she was. She forgot how fascinated she got watching him singing and playing guitar. She loved the sound of his voice when he sang.</p><p>Willow unintentionally was the perfect cheerleader, while Giles played his three songs. After each song, she would clap, which caused other patrons in the coffee shop to clap. And then, at the end of the last song, amidst the clapping, someone in the back let out a whooping cheer which caused Giles to blush bright fuchsia as he stepped off the stage. He set his guitar in its case and took a seat across from Willow. </p><p>“Wow! You were so great!” Willow gushed.</p><p>“Thank you.” Giles said, “Shall we watch the others?”</p><p>Willow nodded, “Sure!”</p><p>The next act got up on stage and after two minutes Giles turned to Willow, “Ready to head out?”</p><p>Willow grinned and nodded. The two of them stood up and moved to the door.</p><p>“Would you mind dropping me off at my parents?” Willow said.</p><p>“Not at all.”</p><p>Carrying his guitar case, Giles led Willow out to his car. The two of them chatted while he drove her over to her mother’s house. When Giles pulled the stick into park he looked over at Willow and thanked her for coming out with him tonight. He surprised himself when he smiled at her.</p><p>Willow thanked him for spending the day with her and then she reached up and kissed him on his cheek right next to his mouth.</p><p>Giles sat frozen, blinking, as Willow opened the passenger door and slipped out of the car. He sat there replaying the moment that Willow kissed him over and over again. He shook himself from his thoughts and looked through the windshield to see Willow wave at him before entering the house. A light flickered on and Giles sat back and leaned his head back against the headrest.</p><p>“Bloody hell,” he said.</p><p>He shifted his car into drive and started home.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p><br/>Tired, Spike took a break from gutting the rooms on the main floor of the Stelle house. He looked at the mountain of junk piled up in front of the back door and then peeked around the curtains to see that the sun had just gone down. He dusted himself off and moved around the empty house looking over his new grow rooms. </p><p>The vampire moved through the entrance foyer and into the living room. He figured it the best place for his new plant collection, since it had the best light. He began moving his collection of Stelle into the empty room. Keeping all his little plant propagations separated so they had room to grow.</p><p>After setting them all down on the floor before the large bay window, he opened the dirty fabric window sheers and looked out across the dark front yard. After a moment, he turned back to look over the plants before he left the room. He closed the soot stained double French doors, and made a mental note that the living room was now unsafe because of the sunlight.</p><p>Spike wandered back into the foyer and stared at the hacked up Stelle plant sitting alone on the cracked marble pedestal. He'd cut the plant down to three quarters of it's height, the other night, to take a bunch of cuttings. Now though, miraculously the plant was back to half it's original size again. </p><p>Spike was still amazed how fast the Stelle grew. All the cuttings he'd taken days ago were now half as tall as he was. He didn't understand how or why the plants grew so fast. How could they? The tiny Stelle clipping he'd received from Xander in the other world took well over a month to gain any size at all.</p><p>Knowing he wouldn't figure it out himself, he sighed and moved into the kitchen. He started to fill a bucket with water in the sink and while he waited for it to fill he meandered over to the fridge to look for a pack of blood. Seeing the fridge empty, he made a split second decision and flipped off the tap. He had to make a trip to the hospital. He figured he’d done enough heavy lifting for the night, at any rate.</p><p>Spike walked the deserted night streets, smoking and glaring up at the night sky as it started to spit tiny rain drops. Curiously, he watched the dark sky’s movement as he walked. The wind was blowing the clouds around viciously. It reminded Spike of magic weather. </p><p>A body moving up the street put Spike on edge immediately. He crushed and pocketed his half-butt as he watched the figure. It was none other than Jamie Caledonia, Buffy’s ex-boyfriend. </p><p>Spike slunk back into the shadows and watched the dark figure walk away from him. He decided it was in his best interest to pursue the man, but made sure to stay back. Spike couldn't be sure what Jamie was. All he knew was that the prat was magical. Following without being seen, Spike recognized he was being led towards the industrial district. Jamie rounded the corner up ahead and the vampire rushed to catch sight of him again.</p><p>When Spike rounded the corner, he stopped. Jamie was gone.</p><p>The vampire stood frozen in place, pulling on his demonic guise to scent the air. He could smell Jamie's lingering scent but it was also completely gone. Jamie wasn't hiding in the alley. He’d actually disappeared. Somehow. </p><p>Spike glanced around and saw he was standing next to a long, painted blue wall. He pursed his lips before he slunk back the way he'd come. He had more important things to do anyway. </p><p>Spike relit his smoke as he walked towards the hospital to stock up on blood. After the hospital raid, he drank a bag of A+ as he walked home. His thoughts were still hyper focused on Jamie Caledonia. He wanted to know what mojo the man used on him. Most magic didn't work on vampires, but Jamie's somehow did.</p><p>Spike entered the Stelle house, and still couldn’t believe the pungent odor that enveloped him. He closed the door behind himself and leaned against it as he stared at the Stelle plant on the pedestal. It was as big as it had ever been.</p><p>Spike noticed he was twirling the ring around his finger and he looked down at his hand. Curious, he took the ring off. </p><p>It only took a second. </p><p>Spike slid down the door and landed with his butt on the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and set the ring down on the floor beside him. His whole being filled with melancholy. Instantly overwhelmed, he rubbed his face with both hands and then crossed his arms across his knees as he looked around the foyer. He felt like he stood on the edge of a precipice. Either he could keep living this repugnant life, or he could cease the torment and just kill himself. What was keeping him alive anyway? </p><p>He swallowed as he saw a flash of Xander underneath him from his memories in the other world. The vampire's eyes grew glassy. When he blinked, a single tear spilled over the rim. He blinked again and a couple more drops of liquid fell. He wiped his eyes and put his head down on his arms over his knees.</p><p>Memories of his time with Xander in the other world swirled in his mind, as he recalled their night of shared passion. He groaned. He didn’t understand how or why he had these stupid feelings for the human male. He wiped his eyes again while wondering if the mortal was the only thing tethering him to the world. </p><p>Spike spied the silver ring sitting on the floor beside him and he picked it up. He was focused on the concave feeling in his chest as he slid the ring on his finger. He was beyond surprised when his mental state swung from not being able to stand himself to befuddlement at the state of his clear mind. </p><p>Spike gulped as he looked around. Confused, he stared down at the silver ring in wonder. </p><p>He previously had an inkling that the ring was protective in nature but now he knew for sure. Moments previously, his cold heart sough death. Now, he felt resilient and relentlessly alive. The vampire vowed to keep wearing the ring at all costs, now that he knew it was protecting him. </p><p>He sat staring at the ring, remembering that Xander from the other reality gave it to him. </p><p>Spike took a deep breath and stood up. He reaffirmed that he could be strong. He would get through this. He smiled a little as he thought about Xander believing in him from a whole different reality. Even the Slayer’s white knight wanted to protect him and keep him alive. </p><p>Satisfied with the results of his experiment, Spike forced himself to get back to work tending the Stelle. He still wanted to go out again before sunrise. The scooby's had another meeting planned and Spike wanted to crash it. But before he could do that he had to water. The plants grew so quickly now that Spike constantly had to take care of them. As tedious as the whole process was becoming, he knew that the magical plants would be his one way ticket to getting his chipendectomy. He began to whistle while he worked.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>During the meeting at the mansion, Faith couldn’t help but notice Spike's eyes constantly on Xander. Call it a hunch, or call it first dibs, but either way she didn't like the way that the vampire constantly loitered around Xander. </p><p>Of course, as fate would have it Giles advised all those with super strength to patrol. Faith seized the moment and offered to be paired up Blondie. Of course, Angel and Buffy readily agreed, and Faith was satisfied that she'd finally be able to grill the fiend on his interest in Xander. </p><p>The vampire, on the other hand, appeared unhappy to be separated from his human toy. </p><p>Faith waited until the two of them hit the first grave yard before she said anything.</p><p>"So, you and Xander fucking, or what?"</p><p>Spike stopped dead in his tracks and stood very still. He held his back to the her and Faith didn't know what that meant. She wondered if she'd hit the nail on the head or what. She persisted.</p><p>"You know that if you hurt him, I'll kill ya," she said.</p><p>Spike turned around to glare at her, "You have no clue what yer talking about."</p><p>Faith smirked, "I think I have a bit of a clue."</p><p>"You know nothing,"</p><p>"I've seen the way you look at him."</p><p>Realizing he hadn't been as unassuming as he'd hoped, Spike grew irritated. The slayer was quickly getting under his skin. He decided to bounce. He didn't need this shit. </p><p>"Whatever. I'm out. Have fun with yer little zombie hunt. Cunt."</p><p>Faith glared at the vampire as he jumped up onto a nearby mausoleum and disappeared.</p><p>"Asshole!" Faith said.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike kicked a garbage can over as he strode by it. He was angry and looking for a fight. He wanted to bash in the dark-haired slayer. Unfortunately, though, he couldn’t hurt humans. </p><p>Spike growled and scanned the darkness for a random nasty. He’d love to run into that three headed demon dog tonight. He thought back to Faith warning to stay away from Harris and he roared out his frustration. After a moment, he let his demonic face dissolve.</p><p>“I’ve seen the way you look at him.” Spike imitated the brunette slayer in a high falsetto voice. He then lashed out and punched a dumpster bin, glaring at it as it rolled across the street. He continued walking.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Heading home after the meeting, Xander had one hand in his pocket and the other swinging at his side. He was walking home by himself, but he knew that since the two slayers and two vampires were all out patrolling tonight, he didn’t have to worry. </p><p>Then again, if he was honest with himself, Xander knew he was walking home alone tonight because he was trying to make himself available just in case Spike wanted to walk with him. Of course, he shouldn’t have bothered, since Faith pulled the bleached menace out to patrol with her, but still. </p><p>Xander stuffed his other hand in his jean pocket as he walked. He didn’t know why he wanted Spike to walk him home anyway. It wasn’t like there was something going on between the two of them. Just sometimes Spike would kiss him and, Xander couldn’t lie to himself anymore, he was beginning to enjoy said kisses more and more.</p><p>Xander kicked a rock and stopped walking as he saw the rock his someone’s boot. His eyes shot up and Xander pulled his hands out of his pockets before he saw none other then the vampire from his thoughts.</p><p>“Oh, Hey,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike grunted as he sized Xander up.</p><p>Xander swallowed nervously. Spike had an odd look in his eye, “What?”</p><p>Spike smirked, “You know, I’ve been out here looking for a baddy to take out some aggression.”</p><p>Xander nodded, “...And?”</p><p>Spike stared at the mortal, “And it aint happen’ what with two slayers out and about.”</p><p>Xander watched curious as Spike’s demonic face appeared.</p><p>“So”, Spike spoke around his fangs, “Hows about I hunt you instead?”</p><p>Xander took a step back, “What? No!”</p><p>“I know. It’s perfect! I can hunt you just fine,” Spike grinned, “Give ya a 10 second start and then I’ll catch ya.”</p><p>Xander took another step back, “Fuck off, Spike.”</p><p>Spike smirked as he started counting, “10,”</p><p>Xander stood staring at the vampire, "Spike..."</p><p>“9,” </p><p>The vampire grinned. He was extremely satisfied with his new plan.</p><p>"8,"</p><p>Xander finally gave up resisting and took off running.</p><p>“7,” Spike called after him, gleefully.</p><p> He watched the mortal run up the street and take a left. </p><p>“6,” </p><p>Suddenly Spike’s anger and enthusiasm calmed, and he closed his eyes. </p><p>“5,” </p><p>He envisioned where the human would be by now.</p><p>“4,”</p><p>He wanted to give himself a chance for some fun, as well as a chance for the human to maybe possibly flee. After all, the chase was the best part.</p><p>“3,”</p><p>Spike took in a deep breath and scented the air.</p><p>“2,”</p><p>He opened his eyes and grinned.</p><p>"1,” </p><p>The vampire jumped to the top of the nearest building, like a great cat, and started running after his prize.</p><p><br/>Xander heaved in breath after breath as he ran across town. He found himself running towards his parent's house, but then realized that Spike already had an invitation inside. He took a detour, running towards the Shady Hill cemetery instead. He hoped to bump into one of the patrolling slayers. </p><p>He didn’t know what Spike’s game was, but he didn’t want to play bait for the vampire. Knowing that Spike could hurt him, Xander didn’t want to encourage the behaviour. He could see himself being eaten by the overzealous vamp caught up in the moment. He renewed his speed as he hoofed it as fast as he could towards the cemetery that Buffy said she was starting her patrol in.</p><p>Spike raced after the mortal. He already knew the human’s game plan as he followed him home. He then noticed the human moving towards the cemetery instead and he knew he had to get in front of Harris before he found a slayer. He moved as fast as he could and jumped down in front of the human from above.</p><p>Xander fell back on his ass as he shouted in fright and then scuttled backwards and took off running in the opposite direction. Spike grinned and watched the mortal run away. He then jumped onto the nearest moseleum and continued to stalk Harris.</p><p>Xander ran scared. He decided to head in Faith’s direction instead. He ducked through a fence hole, thinking it a shortcut, and found himself in a vacant lot. He rushed across it as fast as he could. On the other side he found himself locked in by a solid ring of tall wooden fencing. There was no way to scale it. He turned around, expecting to see Spike, but he was alone. </p><p>When the vampire didn’t reveal himself, Xander’s heart started to pound harder. He tried to calm himself. A noise outside the chain link fence he’d crawled through scared him stiff. It sounded like scraping metal. Xander stood frozen as the noise happened twice more. Afterwards there was only silence.</p><p>He knew that the only way out was to go thru the fence hole. He also knew that Spike was probably waiting outside of it.</p><p>Xander pushed himself closer to the fence and saw nothing. He leaned down to grab the fence and pull himself through. As he pushed himself to stand, he heard a noise behind him. He whipped his head around and gasped as he saw a rat pulling another rat behind it. Their tails were attached. Gross.</p><p>Xander shook his head of the imagery and continued running. This time he ran home, hoping Spike would give up his game. Xander ran towards main street, and slowed his run to a walk. He strode down the sidewalk, walking among the other humans out and about under the streetlights and it gave him a second to calm his heavy breathing. </p><p>As he calmed, he realized that he was being stupid. </p><p>Earlier, he’d wanted the bleached wonder to walk him home because he’d come to expect random nice kisses from him. And here Spike was, chasing after him trying to 'hunt' him, and Xander had to ask himself why he was running away.</p><p>He jumped as he heard a firework go off in the distance. Then he chuckled at himself for being so high strung. Xander took off running and sidled off the main street into a back alley behind the hardware store. He ran down the alley and moved through the next few side streets the same way until he was almost home. He heard a loud roar that didn’t sound like a vampire and he upped the pace of his running. </p><p>Xander suddenly wondered if Spike had given up the game and now he was running from an actual demon. He stopped thinking as he ran into the next street’s alley. He rushed down it as he belatedly realized that there was a wall at the end of it. He stopped before it, huffing and puffing, as he stared in disbelief. “Fuck!” </p><p>He turned around in a panic then yelped and fell back against the wall as Spike dropped down in front of him. The vampire stepped forward, intentionally crowding him. </p><p>“Caught you,” Spike said, "Could eat you up right, I could."</p><p>The vampire smiled like the cat that caught the canary. He stared Xander down as he stepped closer.</p><p>"Thought I told you about dead-end alleys?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander panted as he stared at Spike's true demonic face. He nodded and glanced around the alley before looking back at Spike.</p><p>“Yeah, I know," Xander said, "Thankfully were on the same team. I totally thought you were something else."</p><p>The mortal pressed on the stitch in his side and smiled at the vampire in relief. He'd thought for sure he was gonna die, mere moments ago.</p><p>Spike smirked as his amber eyes took in the sweaty human. He watched Xander’s eyes flit around his demonic face. The human appeared to be searching for something. </p><p>Spike inched a step closer, “Are we on the same team?”</p><p>Xander licked his lips nervously as he straightened his back, “Um, aren’t we?”</p><p>Spike took a final step closer and the two of them stood toe to toe. Xander watched Spike’s demonic face move closer and he closed his eyes. He was eagerly hoping to get a kiss, but he feared that he was going to get a bite instead. He swallowed and tried to stand tall, making sure not to offer his neck. </p><p>Spike reigned in his demonic face just as he pressed his mouth to mortal’s. Xander froze against him, and then Spike felt a rush of excitement uncoil within him as Xander reanimated and started to return the kiss. The two of them gravitated closer together as Spike gently pushed the human back against the alley wall and reached up a hand to cup the mortal’s face as he deepened the kiss. </p><p>Xander enthusiastically reciprocated. All the while, his mental thought process sounded like a gaggle of Oompa Loompas in the chocolate factory cheering all at once. 'Finally!', he thought. Xander let himself fall into the kiss with an eager sigh. He'd been craving exactly this.</p><p>Spike felt the mortal’s warmth leaching into him as their mouths fused. Xander’s arms came up under his jacket to encircle his waist and caress his back, tickling him and pulling him closer. Spike pushed his pelvis forwards as he squirmed and the two moaned into each other’s mouths.</p><p>They held each other, pressed tightly together. Spike rocked his hips fractionally against Xander's while he engaged his mouth. Then, the two were breaking away from the kiss and Xander was turning his head to the side. He grinned as he gasped for breath. </p><p>Spike stared into the mortal's brown eyes for a moment before he kissed his mouth again and then began kissing down the brunet's throat. It occurred to him that this was the first time that this iteration of Harris had ever engaged him like this. The mortal was fully reciprocating and Spike loved every bit of it. He pushed himself closer still and groaned as the their tongues met again. Spike laved the moral's tongue with his own as he continued to hold him up against the wall. He growled low in his chest as he humped against the mortal for more friction. </p><p>Xander felt something exciting uncoil in his pelvis, when Spike growled into his mouth. He shivered, wrapped up in the moment, unable to fathom that this was actually happening. He was surprised to find himself developing wood. Then he was shocked when suddenly his arms were bereft and Spike was spinning away. </p><p>Xander stood, blinking owlishly. He swallowed as he stared at the back of Spike’s head.</p><p>"What?-"</p><p>Spike felt the shiver run through the mortal upon hearing him growl and he wondered on the probability that Harris was getting off on the fact that he was a vampire. He grinned as he stared at the entrance of the alley. </p><p>Spike pulled away from the human when he smelled the monster at the alley entrance. He’d shifted his body to block Harris from the demon’s view while he admonished himself for getting them both trapped in a bloody blind alley. </p><p>Pushing his demon face forwards, he glared down the alley. He watched the massive blue demon standing there staring at them. Wondering why it hadn't attacked yet, Spike growled territorially. He looked around with his peripheral vision for something, anything, to use as a weapon. He saw nothing. No fire escape to climb. Nothing.</p><p>Spike felt the mortal peer around him and freeze.</p><p>“Spike?” Harris whispered.</p><p>“I see it, pet.”</p><p>Spike stood staring down the demon, hoping for a miracle. Then, after what felt like eternity, the demon moved on. Spike stood blinking in disbelief. He let go of his metaphorical breath and stood squinting at the alley. What.the.fuck.? Miracles didn’t just happen for vamps like him. </p><p>“What the hell?” Xander said, “Why’d it leave?”</p><p>“Who cares," Spike said, "Let’s go.”</p><p>Spike grabbed Harris by the hand and entwined their fingers as he pulled him away from the alley.</p><p>Xander let himself be led from danger. It was only once they were clear of the alley, and the demon, that Xander realized Spike was still holding his hand. He moved to pull his hand away but the vampire held firm. Xander bit his bottom lip as he looked up to see Spike smirking at him. He shook his head and smiled before he glanced around. He mutely reasoned with himself that he'd slid his wood up against Spike’s boner earlier, so what was a little hand holdage?</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Giles prepared a tea tray as he thought about Willow visiting with him the day before. The red-head was currently in his living room, waiting on him, and he was happy to see her in much better spirits. Willow had called him earlier, asking if he wanted to have tea with her, and Giles placated her. Meanwhile, he wondered what she wanted from him. </p><p>He set the kettle on the stove and returned to the living room. He stopped when he saw Willow held his new rare book within her hands.</p><p>Willow looked up at him with a smile, “What’s this?”</p><p>Giles stepped forward and took the book from her hands, “Oh, ah… Private research.”</p><p>Willow pursed her smiling lips together, “Magic private research?”</p><p>Giles set the book down at his desk and held out an arm to urge Willow to take a seat. Once she did, he sat opposite her.</p><p>“I acquired it recently. It’s very advanced.”</p><p>Willow nodded and glanced at the book. “I see that. What kind of magic is it? It feels dark.”</p><p>Giles realized that he was going to talk with Willow about this and he took great care to forewarn her thoughtfully.</p><p>“Willow, I actually want your help working on this book.”</p><p>Giles watched the little witch perk up.</p><p>“But…” he said, “I need you to know exactly how deadly this book can be.”</p><p>“Deadly?” </p><p>“Very,” Giles took a deep breath, “It’s a book of soul magic. A grimoire.”</p><p>Willow glanced at the book, “Soul magic?”</p><p>Giles nodded, “Yes. And if you’re to help me study the book, then you must understand how perilous it will be.” </p><p>Willow nodded, “Okay. I understand.”</p><p>Giles nodded, “I don’t think you do. But just as well… As you’ve noticed, it’s in another language.”</p><p>Willow nodded.</p><p>“That’s our first step, translation.” Giles said.</p><p>Willow stood and moved towards the desk to pick up the book as the kettle’s whistle sounded. Giles stood up and moved to make them tea. When he returned, he found Willow curled up around the book on the couch. </p><p>Willow looked up. “Do you have a spare pad of paper?”</p><p>Giles set down the tea tray and fetched some paper and pencils. When he returned, he joined her on the couch and the two scanned the book and discussed their thoughts on it. Since the quick cheek kiss from the other night, Giles spent the entirety of their time together over analyzing everything Willow said or did. </p><p>Later, when the door knocked, Giles rose to answer it while Willow moved to stash the soul magic book in the desk drawer. </p><p>Giles admitted Xander and Buffy, both laden with bags full of Chinese food boxes. They entered and set all the boxes of food down on the table. As Xander had to adjust the tea set to fit more food on the coffee table, he helped himself to a cup of tea, narrating himself doing so during the process. </p><p>Giles appeared with plates and everyone exclaimed their thanks as he doled them out. Willow and Buffy sat next to one another and dug into the food first. Giles followed suit while he thanked them for bringing it over since he’d forgotten to eat. </p><p>Willow smiled at him as she said, “Me too.”</p><p>Giles swallowed thickly as he cracked apart his chopsticks.</p><p>The leg of Xander’s chair broke and he fell backwards. He kept his food held aloft as he toppled. The group laughed as Xander got up and Giles apologized for his rickety chairs. Xander grabbed another chair and cautiously sat down again before he continued eating.</p><p>Buffy brought it to everyone's attention that this was the first time in a long while that the whole group was together for something other then their scheduled movie night or monster research. They chatted lightheartedly throughout the meal and had a good time. </p><p>Their casual talk about everyday things devolved into talk of the big blue demon and other anomalies terrorizing the town. </p><p>Xander didn’t tell the group about the demon not attacking him and Spike the night before because he still couldn't figure out a way to even start explaining what happened. That, and he didn't think it relevant. The monster didn’t attack them, after all.</p><p>When Xander and Buffy eventually decided to head out, they asked Willow if she wanted to walk home with them. The red-head agreed and it took her a minute to gather her things. </p><p>Xander and Buffy each moved into the courtyard to wait for her.</p><p>Willow pulled on her coat and shouldered her satchel. She moved towards the door, but paused in the doorway.  She looked back.</p><p>Giles felt uneasy and giddy at the same time. He didn’t like the feeling.  Willow looked at him, smiled and said good night before she pulled the door closed behind her.</p><p>Giles sucked in a breath and then pulled off his glasses to rub his eyes as he rose and moved towards the door. He twisted the lock and returned to his seat while rubbing his eyes.</p><p>He had no idea why he was thinking of Willow so much lately, and in such a way. He attributed it to their proximity as of late. She’d confided in him her heartbreak, so of course he felt closer to her. </p><p>He sat down in his chair and thought of all the what if's of Willow having a crush on him. He knew he was much older, it was uncouth, yet his mind hijacked the fantasy regardless. He couldn't help but feel a thrill suffuse him as he envisioned the witch walking up to him and kissing him before leaving. He shook his head of the thought. It wouldn’t be right, he concluded. He called himself a creepy old man and pushed the thought from his mind before puttering around his home cleaning it up.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Angel, on their next patrol, surprised Buffy with a trip to the ice-skating stadium. He used a key to let them in a back door and then they entered the pitch black stadium to see that they were the only ones there. They made there way through the building towards the ice and Buffy’s eye’s lit up as she realized where they were. They’d come at the building from the back and it had been a while since she’d been there. She hadn't recognized where they were. Buffy was pleasantly surprised. She happily went up to the boards and pressed herself against them as she stared out at the ice.</p><p>“Ready?” Angel said.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Buffy looked at Angel who gave her a smile. She grinned, “Totally! But I need skates.”</p><p>Angel tossed her the key ring and pointed to the locked door that held the ice skates. </p><p>Buffy went to put on skates while Angel turned on the lights and put on music. </p><p>Buffy quickly made her way out onto the ice. She took a second to get her balance and then started to move around the ice happy and enchanted.</p><p>After a few minutes Angel came out onto the ice wearing black ice skates. Buffy stared at him gobsmacked as he slowly moved on the blades beneath his feet. He took a minute to get the feel of it, and he thought he had it figured out by the time he reached Buffy. Unfortunately, he realized he didn’t know how to stop. At the last minute, he reached out his arms and Buffy grabbed him and pulled him close to stop his momentum. The two spun in a circle as they laughed and held onto each other.</p><p>“You’re gonna have to teach me how to use these,” Angel said.</p><p>Buffy grinned and stared up into Angel’s dark eyes.</p><p>“You know, this reminds me of the last time we were here together.” </p><p>“Me too, except I’m wearing skates this time," Angel said. </p><p>"And we were attacked last time,” Buffy said. </p><p>The two of them looked over each other's shoulders before sharing a smile. </p><p>Angel slowly backed away from Buffy, gliding backwards. He continued to hold onto her hands and the two began to skate. </p><p>They had a sensual time skating with one another, both caressing one another, as they moved in unison around the rink. </p><p>Buffy filled with exhilaration as Angel pressed up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Calmness infused her and she sunk back into his safe embrace. The two of them skated together, gliding across the ice. Angel had his face in her hair and his nose pressed against her neck. Then he planted a smooch on her throat and Buffy unconsciously tilted her head to the side as she smiled. </p><p>The two of them slowed near the boards, just as the song ended. Buffy swung around, wrapped her arms around Angel’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Angel wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. The two kissed, tongues dueling in a long-forgotten dance as a new song started to play. </p><p>Buffy eventually pulled her face away and stared into Angel's dark eyes.</p><p>“Should we be… discussing dating again?” Buffy said.</p><p>“Nothing’s changed, Buffy.”</p><p>“But it has,” she said, “You’re here.”</p><p>“And I’ll leave again,” Angel said.</p><p>Buffy swallowed and lowered her eyes. She stared at the v in his shirt. The maroon silk fabric covering his alabaster chest. She looked up into his eyes again and said, “Then at least stay with me, while you’re here.”</p><p>“I am here. I’m always here with you.”</p><p>“I know,” Buffy said.</p><p>Angel leaned down and kissed her sweetly. When he pulled back the two stared at one another adoringly.</p><p>“Why do you have to go back to LA?” Buffy said.</p><p>Angel huffed a laugh, “At this moment, I literally have no idea.”</p><p>He leaned down to capture her lips once more and the two kissed until Buffy pulled back for air. She stared into Angel's eyes until she surprised herself by saying, “I love you.”</p><p>Angel smiled and watched the blonde bite her lip. </p><p>“I love you too,” he said.</p><p>The two kissed again until Angel pulled away. He kissed her forehead and then stood up straight.</p><p>Grabbing Buffy by the hand, he tugged and maneuvered her around the ice with him. Buffy giggled and laced her fingers with Angels as she enjoyed the lackadaisical skate around the rink. After a while, Buffy pulled Angel close again and Angel wasted no time kissing her. </p><p>They spent the evening enjoying their time with one another and then the two decided to move off the ice. They sat down on a bench rink side, to take off their skates. </p><p>Buffy had one skate off when she has a flashback of the last time they were skating together. She remembered being attacked by a member from the Order of Taraka. A secondary thought came to her as she remembered Giles telling her that the members were either human or demon. In that moment, Buffy had an epiphany. She more than likely killed a human that night all those years ago. Keeping her thoughts to herself, Buffy slowly took off her other skate. She realized her and Faith had more in common then she thought.</p><p>“You alright?” Angel asked.</p><p>Buffy grabbed her shoes and favored him a smile, “Never better,”</p><p>She looked down to slip on her shoes as Angel asked her to return the skates and lock up the room. She agreed as he wandered off to shut down the lights and music. </p><p>They rejoined each other and Buffy handed Angel the key ring. The two held hands as they left the stadium. Angel walked Buffy home and kissed her on her front porch. He told her to have a good night and then returned to the mansion to mope. He knew he was playing with fire by being so close to Buffy, but he couldn’t stop himself. After what had happened to her, Angel wanted to stick to Buffy's side and make sure it never happened ever again.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander realized he was being followed and he calmly quickened his pace as he gripped his cross in his pocket. He realized his stalker was moving just as quick and he started running. Although he was exhausted, adrenalin flooded his system. Xander ran as fast as he could. He could hear footfalls behind him as he ran and before he knew it he was gassed. He slowed and tried to catch his breath as he watched Spike saunter out of the shadows.</p><p>Xander swallowed his relief that it was Spike. The vampire approached with a swagger and lunged forward to bite his neck. Xander was caught off guard, shocked at the animalistic attack. He stood frozen in the killer’s embrace. </p><p>He knew, in his gut, that Spike wasn't going to kill him; but he still filled with fear. It was a weird paradox. Xander knew he was the only one that Spike could actually kill. Yet, somewhere deep in his gut, he knew that Spike wouldn't kill his only living blood bag. </p><p>Xander tried to relax as he felt the blood drained out of him. He tilted his head back onto Spikes shoulder and offered up his throat. Spike moaned and Xander couldn't help but feel a little zing in his gut that he'd caused that. </p><p>A second of clarity washed over him, his mind cleared and Xander realized he was starting to get turned on by the whole production. He ducked out of Spike's embrace and spun around as he reached his hand into his pocket. He grabbed the cross and shoved it against Spike's face as he backed away.</p><p>When Spike recoiled, Xander ran as fast as he could to escape. He made his way home, suspecting Spike was following him. He let himself relax as he sagged against the inside of his front door.</p><p>He moved towards the bathroom, fingering the wound on his neck. He looked at it in the mirror and found the bite a lot smaller then he thought it would be. Tuckered out from running, like a happy dog, he stumbled down the stairs to the basement and fell into his hideabed. He was soon fast asleep, thinking nothing of getting bit again. It was a normal occurrence now... nearly.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Buffy stood awkwardly outside the Crawford street mansion. She was about to knock but she was still stuck in her thoughts.</p><p>Buffy was thinking about the last few days. She’d spent a lot of time with her mother. She'd also made it a point to ask each of her friends over to visit every single day, once she was out of the hospital, so that she could get some quality one on one time with each of them. She was still pretty freaked out about the whole dying again thing; but she was trying to move forwards. Buffy kept her thoughts to herself regarding Jamie. She didn’t know what to say. What was there to say?</p><p>Buffy shook herself from her thoughts and took a deep breath before knocking on the door in front of her. She was here on a mission. Today was as good as any other day to squash her beef with Faith.</p><p>The brunette slayer pulled open the door and Buffy watched Faith’s eyebrow’s raise in surprise.</p><p>“Heya, B. Whatcha doing here?” she said.</p><p>“I came to talk to you, actually.”</p><p>“Oh? What’s up?” </p><p>“Mind if I come in?” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith blinked and then let Buffy cross the threshold. She closed the door behind her and the two walked into the main research room.</p><p>Faith raised her arm as she walked past the furniture into the room and moved to a side table, "Have a seat,”</p><p>Buffy sat in a chair and watched Faith grab a bottle of liquor and two glasses. Faith set the bottle and glasses down and poured them each a few fingers worth. When she slid the glass towards Buffy, she said, “I figure we’ll need this.”</p><p>Buffy let out a little laugh as she reached for the glass. She took a sip, swallowed, and puckered her face.  When she set down the glass, Buffy said, “Thanks. I think...”</p><p>Faith downed the whole drink and poured herself another before she set the bottle down again and sat back with her glass. “So, what are you doing here?”</p><p>Buffy shrugged, “Not fully sure. Just wanted to talk with you, ya know? Maybe work on getting over our past animosity.”</p><p>Faith nodded but stayed silent. She took another swallow of her drink.</p><p>Buffy and Faith stared at one another awkwardly until Buffy sat forwards and reached for her glass again. “I wish this was in hot chocolate.” </p><p>Faith snorted, “Too strong for you?”</p><p>Buffy sniffed her cup and sat it in her lap, “A thousand times, yes.”</p><p>Both girls chuckled. </p><p>Buffy took another sip and quickly set the glass down as she coughed. </p><p>Faith sat forwards and set her glass down, “I think we might actually have some. Come on.”</p><p>Faith stood and Buffy followed her out of the room. They enter the kitchen to find Angel drinking blood from a mug and reading the newspaper. </p><p>“Uh... Hey,” Angel said.</p><p>The vampire set down his mug and schooled his features. His demonic face receded and he licked his lips and wiped his mouth as he stared at the two vampire slayers. Internally, he wondered what was his life? </p><p>Buffy smiled and waved, “Hello,”</p><p>Faith walked through the room, “We have some hot chocolate left?” </p><p>Angel shrugged as she walked to the cupboard and answered her own question by pulling out a couple packets and waving them at the blond. Buffy moved towards her and watched as Faith found a pot and put some water on to boil. Faith handed Buffy a mug and spoon and told her to mix the liquor with the packet before they put the hot water in. The two doctored their drinks with light banter, while Angel read the paper and sipped from his mug. <br/> <br/>Angel decided to leave the kitchen, before the girls sat down with their drinks at the table. He rose, rinsed his mug and wished them a great day before leaving. </p><p>The two slayers proceed to sit in silence, once they each sat down with their alcoholic hot chocolates. There was a weird tense silence that Buffy filled in the most awkward way possible. She brought up the reason she’d come.</p><p>“I wanted to talk to you about killing humans,” she said.</p><p>"What did you just say?" Faith said.</p><p>Angel stood frozen, eavesdropping in the other room. Poised, he waited to see if he needed to get between the two powerhouses.</p><p>Buffy floundered and couldn't remember what words she'd just used, "I was just- just thinking... I  realized recently that I also killed a human before. The order of Taraka that-"</p><p>Faith interrupted, "It's not the same, B."</p><p>The two slayers stared at one another.</p><p>Buffy bit her lip, “Hey, look... I’m sorry I brought it up. I shouldn't have...”</p><p>Buffy cut herself off and looked down at her hot chocolate.</p><p>Faith shrugged, “Look, it’s fine. I’ve moved past it. You do it at your own pace.”</p><p>Buffy looked up at Faith and watched the brunette take a sip of her drink. She blinked as an odd string of thoughts occurred to her. “Didn’t you say before that you’re really into Lord of the Rings?”</p><p>Faith nodded, “Oh yeah. Great series. Read it in the clink.”</p><p>“There’s a movie coming out in December, I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but you should see the trailer. It looks incredible.”</p><p>“I will,” Faith said, “Thanks,”</p><p>After another uncomfortable pause, Faith smirked, “I didn’t know you cared, B.”</p><p>Buffy returned the smile and took another sip of her drink, “I really want to see Moulin Rouge or Spirited away. Did you maybe wanna check out a movie today?”</p><p>Faith thought about it, “Sure. Why not?”</p><p>Buffy finished her hot chocolate and laughed with glee about how easy it was to drink liquor when it tasted good. Faith grinned at her and shook her head.</p><p>Angel listened to the two slayers in the kitchen, from the other room. He smiled when he heard Buffy giggle. He was beyond happy the hear the two slayers getting along.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Willow heard the telephone ring as she entered the dorm room clutching her bath towel around herself. She tossed her toiletry bag onto the bed and reached for the phone just as it clicked over to the answering machine. </p><p>She stood dripping wet as she listened to Tara’s voice speak shyly into the machine. Willow listened, grateful when the other witch got straight to the point. Apparently Mrs. Kitty Fantastico was acting out, the kitten vehemently hated Oz, and Tara wanted to know if Willow wanted to re-home the kitty.</p><p>Willow didn’t have to think twice. She knew she would accept. She listened as Tara told her to call anytime and then she hung up. Willow stood there staring at the machine until she came out of her stupor. She glanced down at herself and then quickly dried off and got dressed. </p><p>Willow sat down on the edge of the bed and primed herself to call Tara back. Once she did, the two made a date for the kitty exchange and Willow hung up relieved. The interaction wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. </p><p>Willow got her things together and made her way over to Giles place. She’d been spending so much time with the older man lately. She was happy to say that they were starting to make some headway on their translations. </p><p>Willow fantasized about Giles kissing her as she walked. She often found herself fantasizing about Giles. Ever since that night she’d confided in him. She’d felt like she’d seen another side of him. </p><p>Willow wondered what would happen if she kissed the ex-watcher. She often did. Today, though, she was feeling spontaneous and she decided that she wanted to kiss him tonight and see what happened. </p><p>When she arrived, she knocked on the door, and there was no answer. She tried the handle, but it was locked. Willow pressed the doorbell and then took a step back as she moved to sit and wait on the edge of the courtyard fountain. </p><p>As she sat down, the door before her swung open and Giles stood before her naked, wearing nothing but a towel. He had it clasped in one hand around his waist as he squinted without his glasses.</p><p>“Oh, Willow. Hello.”</p><p>Willow watched as Giles embarrassment grew visibly up his chest and into his cheeks. She smiled into her hand. “Sorry, I’m a bit early.”</p><p>Giles allowed her entry and closed the door, “No matter. Make yourself at home.”</p><p>Willow watched Giles disappear as she set her book bag down on the couch. She sat down next to it as she thought about the older man’s body. Having been with a female for the last year, Willow felt uncertain about her attraction to the male form. He had so much body hair! Willow shook her thoughts from her head. She was going to kiss him tonight, not sleep with him. She pulled her notepad out of her bag and got up to find the soul magic book from the desk drawer. She couldn’t find it initially and was bent over rooting around in the drawer as Giles re-entered the room.</p><p>Giles stared at Willow’s backside as he entered his living room. His eyes zeroed in on the girl’s skirt, which was lifted and was tucked up into her pantyhose. Giles stared at the crevice between the witch’s legs and he swallowed.</p><p>Willow turned, “Oh, hey. I thought I’d get started.”</p><p>Giles nodded and moved to sit opposite her. The two started talking about the translation, both trying to distract themselves from one another.</p><p>After their research session, when she was ready to leave for the night, Willow finally got up her nerve. She moved into Giles’s personal space and leaned her face in to press her lips against his. </p><p>For several moments, Giles gently returned the kiss in the silent room. Then he was pulling himself away and moving away from her. He crossed the room and pulled his glasses from his face as he stuttered, “I-I- we can’t do this...”</p><p>Willow sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as she picked up her book bag. She didn’t know what to say so she moved as quick as she could out of the condo. </p><p>Once the door was closed between them, Willow filled with horrified excitement. She rushed out of the courtyard and ran all the way back to Stevenson hall, all the while thinking about their shared kiss. All that seemed to matter to her was that Giles had kissed her back.<br/> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Willow, Buffy and Xander sat chatting outside the café on main street. The other two were grilling Willow on her recent preoccupation since they caught her zoning out. Buffy deduced that Willow had a crush. Willow blushed and blinked repeatedly, unsure what to say. She knew she was a terrible liar.</p><p>“Yeah, well, uh- the person I like isn't attainable.” Willow said, "So it's not worth talking about."</p><p>“You still haven’t told us if it’s a girl or a boy.” Buffy said.</p><p>Willow dejectedly thought of her prospects with Giles and shrugged, “I don’t think it matters.”</p><p>Buffy tilted her head and peered at the witch sadly, “I’m sure it’s not that bad. Maybe you just need to hit the person over the head with the idea that you like them. Some people aren’t the best at taking hints.”</p><p>Xander nodded with emphasis and pointed at Buffy, “What she said.”</p><p>Willow smiled, “I’ll take your word for it.”</p><p>The three of them moved as a cohesive unit out from under the Espresso Pump's shade umbrella and started walking. They headed down main street with their styrofoam cups in hand. Xander mentioned that he wanted to see ‘Star Wars: Episode I’ as he scanned the poster for it while they walked past the movie theater. Buffy said she wanted to see it too, as well as 'Fight Club', and the two talked excitedly about the trailers they’d seen on TV. </p><p>Meanwhile, Willow fell deeper into her thoughts. Her friends thought the person she was crushing on was someone they didn’t know and Willow was fine with them assuming that, since she didn’t want to reveal it was Giles. She feared making the older man more uncomfortable. She realized that she was half his age and she understood why he would have his reservations about her. But, still, the feelings within lingered and festered not being talked about. She silently planned another intervention in her head. She had to figure out a way through this roadblock. She'd fantasized constantly about Giles since the kiss and she wanted to do it again.</p><p> </p><p>* * * </p><p> </p><p>Willow waited and pined for days, after the kiss, yet Giles never spoke of it. He also didn't appear out of sorts, whenever they met up. It was as if the moment never happened. Willow wondered if she persisted if she could convince Giles of how mature she was. She just needed to figure out the right angle to approach him. </p><p>Of course, the next time they were brought together was during the gang's pizza night and they both acted as though nothing was unusual between them. As everyone was sitting together talking, there was no way to get any alone time with the man.</p><p>The group watched a movie and when the movie was over, and everyone was full of pizza, Giles pulled out a board game. The group sat around the condo playing it. Willow and Giles were on a team and Xander and Buffy were on a team. Willow tried to focus on the game, but it was difficult with Giles sitting beside her at the table. Often she found herself staring at the Tiffany lamp across the room in thought. </p><p>After the game was over, and everyone was putting on their jackets and getting ready to leave, Giles remembered to remind everyone that he wouldn’t be available for the next Friday meet up. Buffy asked why and Giles said he had some company coming in from out of town. </p><p>“Who?” Willow said. </p><p>Her mind instantly recalled Giles having a lover visit him last year. Her head filled with new calculations. Maybe Giles was already involved with someone. Maybe her feelings for him were hopeless.</p><p>Giles turned to Willow, “An ex-colleague.”</p><p>“A lover?” Willow said.</p><p>Giles squinted at her, “That’s hardly your business.” </p><p>Willow blushed.</p><p>Across the room, Xander stood holding open the door, grinning, “Heh, cool it on the 21 questions, Wills. It sounds like you’re trying to get into the G-man's pants.”</p><p>Buffy smacked his arm as she walked passed him out to the courtyard, so she didn’t see; but Xander did. He stared at Willow and watched her face go pale and slack. His own grin fell from his face as he watched her blink at him in a stupor. Xander swallowed and squinted hard at his best friend. He knew instantly what was going on. Willow was trying to get into the G-man's pants and he, her best friend, just called her out on it in front of him. He glanced at the ex-watcher.</p><p>Giles stood up from his chair, “Er, excuse me.” </p><p>Willow turned her blank face to watch Giles leave the room, then she stood up and walked out of the condo. She brushed past Xander and Buffy, and disappeared from the courtyard.</p><p>Xander stared at Buffy, “Can you believe this? Willow and Giles!?”</p><p>Buffy’s eyes were wide and her mouth was half open in shock.</p><p>Xander stared at her, “Do you think this is new? Are they dating?”</p><p>Buffy shrugged, “I have no idea... I’ll go after her.”</p><p>Xander watched Buffy rush from the courtyard as his mind tried to come to terms with Willow and Giles getting it on. He glanced around and then pushed the door shut.</p><p>Giles returned from hiding, upon hearing the door close, then paused in the hallway when he saw Xander standing there.</p><p>Xander stared at the old man, “So… Willow, huh?”</p><p>“What? No!” Giles said.</p><p>“What’s wrong with Willow?” Xander said.</p><p>“What?” </p><p>After a moment, Giles tsked and moved to sit in the armchair.</p><p>“There is nothing wrong with Willow,” he said, “She’s just confused.” </p><p>He sat down in his chair and picked up his cup of luke-warm tea. He took a sip.</p><p>“Confused?" Xander said, "About what? Your age?” </p><p>Giles glared, “Confused because she’s broken up with Tara.”</p><p>“They broke up? Sheesh, where have I been?” Xander said.</p><p>“Presumably with either Spike or Buffy,” Giles said.</p><p>Giles set his teacup on his knee and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling.</p><p>“Oh... Well, yeah, lately,” Xander said, “but I’m always available for Willow. She knows that. Why wouldn’t she come to me about this?”</p><p>“Perhaps,” Giles said, “Because it refers to me?” </p><p>Xander looked at Giles and realized the enormity of the situation.</p><p>“Oh shit, G-man! Willow’s crushing on you and she’s young enough to be your daughter!”</p><p>Giles raised his head and looked Xander in the eyes. Then he cast his eyes down once he saw the realization dawn in Xander’s eyes. Giles let his head tilt back again and he stared at the ceiling.</p><p>“Ah...”  Xander said, “You feel it too. That’s why this is so weird for the both of you. You’re not shutting her down.”</p><p>Giles sighed and lifted his head to glare at the brunet.</p><p>“I have “shut her down” as you so eloquently put it… It’s not as easy as all that.”</p><p>Xander stood up and shook his head, “Oh my god. I can’t- I can’t deal with this right now.”</p><p>Giles squinted as he watched Xander stride out of his condo. The slammed door rang in his ears and Giles felt both regret for not taking advantage of the situation and also regret for taking advantage of the situation. He leaned his head back with a sigh. There was no winning this one.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander ran across town as his mind raced a mile a minute. He couldn’t imagine his best friend and Giles together, it icked him out. Giles was like their collective surrogate godfather. For Willow to be into him would just be... ew. </p><p>Xander picked up the pace and ran out his feelings. Every foot slap against the pavement made him feel better. His mind replayed the look Willow gave him and he slowed his pace. He panted as he looked around. Her face had drained completely of color. She'd been devastated by his joke. Xander never wanted Willow to feel that way again. He felt like a total jack ass. </p><p>Xander ran around a corner and into someone. He kept his feet under himself as he backed up with a gasp, “Whew! Jeez, you scared me.”</p><p>Spike smirked, his unnatural eyes staring into him.</p><p>Xander heaved in breath after breath as he grew nervous, “I, uh, I know you have this new chase me kink, which, okay – sure, I kinda dig it too, but now’s really not the best time. I need to find Buffy and Willow.”</p><p>Spike looked Xander up and down, smirking at the mortal's admission. He stepped closer to him. </p><p>Xander backed up a step, despite knowing he couldn’t get away. He backed up another few steps, still breathing hard. He wasn’t above begging Spike to let him go tonight. </p><p>“Please?" he said, "I’ll run away twice as hard tomorrow night.”</p><p>The vampire grabbed him by the hair and Xander winced as Spike wrenched his head to the side. The vampire’s demonic face took over and Xander closed his eyes as he whispered. “Please?”</p><p>Spike licked up the side of his neck, right over his scar, and then let him go with a little push.</p><p>“Alright," Spike said, "Get going then,”</p><p>Xander looked up at Spike with a blooming smile.</p><p>“Thanks,” Xander said as he took off running.</p><p>Spike watched the whelp run to the end of the ally and then stop.</p><p>“Wot?” Spike said.</p><p>“You don’t happen to know where Buffy is, do ya?” Xander said.</p><p>He looked so hopeful and desperate. Spike lit a smoke as he let the whelp fret in silence.</p><p>“Check around the art gallery,” he finally said.</p><p>“I will,” Xander said, “Thanks.” </p><p>Xander stood staring at Spike a second longer and the vampire watched him curiously. Then the human was off and running and Spike took a drag off his smoke before he stubbed the cherry out and threw the smoke in his pocket. He jumped on top of a nearby dumpster, hopped up to the rooftop of the hardware store, and began tracking the human.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Stelle Sitting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Willow clutched a vial of holy water in her jacket pocket. The clear night sky irked her. It was eerily quiet.</p><p>She scurried up the walkway to the house address Spike had given her and cautiously stepped up the front staircase as she questioned if she was in the right place. The house looked derelict and uninhabitable.</p><p>Willow saw a sliver of light peaking through a window and she took a deep breath. She noticed the air smelled sweet and floral and she shifted on her feet before she knocked at the front door. </p><p>Moments later the door swung open and Spike appeared on the other side. He stared at Willow and then he opened the door wider to admit her.</p><p>The red head adjusted the shoulder strap of her book bag as she crossed the threshold. The vampire closed the door behind her, moved past her, and towards the stairwell. </p><p>“Follow me,” he said.</p><p>Willow left her shoes on as she followed the vampire up the stairs. When they reached the second landing, Spike pushed open a door and Willow was nearly bowled over by the smell. She followed the vampire inside the lit up room with eyes wide. “Holy smokes!”</p><p>In a surprised daze, Willow stepped closer to a nearby plant and reached out to touch its iridescent purple and pink branches. </p><p>Spike moved through the room full of Stelle plants and adjusted a few that he saw were situated too close to the lights.</p><p>“I can’t believe you have all these,” she said.</p><p>Spike shrugged, “Took a bit to figure out how to grow it, but I’ve worked it out.”</p><p>Willow turned to look at the vampire, confused. “How can you stand it?”</p><p>Spike blinked, “Stand wot?”</p><p>Willow blinked, “You haven’t had any negative effects?”</p><p>Spike squinted at the witch as his thoughts connected. “You saying this plant is affecting me?”</p><p>Willow nodded, “I’ve heard  Stelle can have adverse consequences on vampires. When you said you were selling it, I thought you were making money as a middleman. Seeing you now, in this room, I’m wondering how you’re not intoxicated by it.”</p><p>Spike lifted his hand, “Prolly this.”</p><p>He made no move to take off the ring, knowing better then to do so.</p><p>Willow approached him and grabbed his hand to identify the ring. She stared at it and then reached into her book bag and pulled out a vial of clear oil with green flecks floating in it. She pulled the cork out of the vial, poured a little of the oil on Spike’s hand and told him to rub it in. While he did so, she stuffed the vial back into her bag. </p><p>Willow grabbed Spike's hand again, closed her eyes, and hummed something under her breath. After a moment, she opened her eyes and stared at the silver ring.</p><p>“Ah, yeah. That's totally it,” She said, “Your ring has a spell on it that protects against magical attacks.”</p><p>Spike nodded, “Figured as much.”</p><p>Willow blinked thrice as she corrected her vision and ended the spell. She looked up at the vampire’s face, “Where did you get it?”</p><p>“Was given to me.”</p><p>Willow nodded, “Well, don’t take it off around this stuff. The Stelle puts you at a serious disadvantage. I mean, even more so, what with the chip.”</p><p>Spike grunted and wiped his oily hand on his jeans.</p><p>“Right,” he said and pointed to the Stelle, “This is only half of it. Got another room of trees this size, and then I’ve got another room of babies starting in the Livingroom downstairs. So, let’s get to business, yeah?”</p><p>Willow nodded and glanced around, “Do you have somewhere to sit?”</p><p>Spike blinked, “Er, yeah, follow me.”</p><p>Willow followed Spike out of the room and down the hall. The vampire opened another door and the two entered. Willow looked around curiously. She stared at the clean, white bed perplexed. How had something so clean come into a house so filthy? </p><p>Spike moved into the room and sat down on the bed.</p><p>“Only furniture in the house,” he said.</p><p>Willow moved to sit next to the vampire. She pulled her laptop out of her book bag and turned it on. She then spent the next couple hours helping Spike create an online website to sell his Stelle. During which, Spike asked Willow if she'd deal with the back end of the website. Willow told him it was easy enough and started walking him through order fulfillment but Spike stopped her mid-sentence to tell her that had no idea how all that shite worked. He said he'd rather offer her as much Stelle as she could handle if she could just do it for him. Willow took a moment to think about it before she agreed. </p><p>Once they set up the website, Spike told Willow that the first crop of Stelle was already cut down and drying. He said it would be ready within the next few days and assured her that he’d bring her some as soon as it was ready. </p><p>Willow packed up her laptop, “Would you actually mind walking me home?”</p><p>Spike blinked in surprise but then nodded and stood up, “Yeah, alright.”</p><p>Willow waited downstairs beside the front door as Spike hunted down his jacket. She watched the vampire twirl the leather duster around his frame and stuff his arms into the sleeves as he came into the room.</p><p>“Ready?” he said.</p><p>Willow nodded.</p><p>The doorbell rang and Willow jumped in fright and backed away from the door.</p><p>Spike chuckled and stepped forward. He yanked open the door and grinned when he saw Avery, “Oi. Mate. Come in, come in. Gonna walk the lass home. Be back in a few.”</p><p>Avery nodded at Spike and then looked Willow up and down like a piece of meat. </p><p>Willow looked over at Spike as the other vampire moved past her into the house. </p><p>Spike escorted the little witch outside and closed the door behind him. </p><p>Willow stepped off the porch awkwardly and said, “He seems... nice.”</p><p>Spike snorted.</p><p>The two of them walked out of the yard and towards the university.</p><p>“I still say you’re crazy for touching that stuff,” Willow said.</p><p>Spike shrugged, “Seems fine for now.”</p><p>“I mean... I bet it would be super simple for me to twist your mind right now.”</p><p>Spike stayed silent. He looked down at his ring and felt better wearing it. </p><p>“Speaking of," he said, "Can you make me another talisman thingy to protect my mental energy or whatever?”</p><p>Willow nodded, “Sure. I’ll have it done right away. I’m assuming it’s for your vampire friend back there?”</p><p>Spike nodded, “Yeah, last thing I need is Avery compromised.”</p><p>They arrived outside Stevenson’s hall and Spike stopped walking. Willow paused with him.</p><p>“Thanks for walking me home.”</p><p>Spike shrugged, “Ta for your bit as well.”</p><p>Willow waved as she moved off towards the campus. </p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike stopped running and guffawed as he watched Xander bail spectacularly into a bunch of garbage cans up the street from him. A stray cat had run between his legs, tangling him up and throwing him to the ground. When the mortal collapsed into the group of tin trash cans he cried out sounding like a strangled cat himself.</p><p>Spike bent over laughing his ass off. He grabbed his stomach and leaned against a nearby wall as he continued to laugh. He watched the mortal crawl to his feet, glare at him, and then move off with a lopsided run. Spike started to tear up. He wiped his eyes and, with a grin plastered to his face, sniffed and continued hunting his prize. </p><p>Xander gained a bit of a head start with his clumsy antics, but Spike soon chased him into the vineyard. Surprised, that the human made it so far across town, Spike followed the human’s scent into the dark pathways between rows of grape vines. He tracked him all the way to a nearby building. Spike sniffed around, sneaking and seeking. He eventually found a way inside, smelled Xander all over the entrance, and grew giddy that the human willingly trapped himself inside the building with him.</p><p>The vampire stealthily moved down the corridors, following Xander's scent. He eventually found the human’s hiding place. Xander was cornered in a room. Spike opened the door and entered the dark room. He looked around and sensed Xander was in the closet. He smirked.</p><p>Letting his footfalls sound, Spike walked towards the closet slowly. He could hear Xander’s heart speed up in his chest and he relished in the sound of the human's fear.</p><p>Spike grabbed the closet handle, felt it locked, and let go. He waited for Xander to breath three times, and on his fourth intake of air, Spike reached out and broke the lock as he turned the handle. </p><p>Xander gasped, and Spike grinned as he stepped into the closet and closed the door behind him.</p><p>Xander flinched when Spike reached out to grab his wrist.</p><p>The vampire moved closer, and pulled Xander’s head to the side before biting into his throat. Drinking deeply, and with fantastic pleasure, Spike nearly missed hearing the little sound fall from Xander's mouth. Spike moaned, as it registered, and he pushed his body flush up against the human.  He raised his head as he licked his bloody lips and stared at the mortal in the darkness.</p><p>"You still like these hunts?" He said.</p><p>Spike smirked as he watched Xander lick his lips and leaned forward. The mortal found his mouth in the dark and kissed him. Spike dropped his demonic face to kiss the mortal back. Instantly, the two of them were lost in the sensation. Each growing more entrenched in the kiss, both forgetting why there were stuffed together in a closet to begin with.</p><p>Xander pulled his mouth away and gasped for breath as Spike continued kissing down his throat. Xander tilted his head to the side and moaned, clutching Spike’s leather duster, as the vampire re-latched. He felt the blood being drawn out of him, and he took a moment to huff a laugh at himself as he felt the blood loss. This was all his own fault. He was the one dumb enough to play with a vampire.</p><p>Spike caught the mortal, as he lost consciousness. He lifted Xander gently and carried him home. He tucked the mortal into his bed, and set some cookies, juice and Tylenol on the bedside table before heading home.</p><p>When Xander awoke, he wondered if last night was a dream. He laid in bed, masturbating while daydreaming about vineyard kisses. Once finished, he laid in repose, and turned to look at the clock on the side table. </p><p>Xander sat up when he saw the treats laid out for him. He smiled as he sat back and drank the juice. He wondered why Spike did this. He could have easily just left him in the closet. Could have finished drinking from him and just went on with his life… But instead, he’d brought Xander home and… taken care of him? And it wasn't the first time.</p><p>Xander sat thinking for a while about that. He felt the gesture was oddly sweet coming from the vampire. He felt something warm wriggle within his belly. It felt like happiness, and it was fleeting. He wanted more of the elusive feeling. He wanted to see Spike again.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike showed up at Stevenson hall later that week, as soon as the sunset. He knocked on the witch's door, hoping she had the new talisman ready for him. </p><p>Willow pulled open the door and welcomed him in. Spike took a step in and then stopped in the doorway when he saw Xander sitting on Buffy's bed with a cat in his lap.</p><p>Spike’s entire being filled with want as he looked at the human. His nostrils flared and he forced himself to take a deep breath and stay still. He wanted nothing more then to move into the mortal’s personal space and take control of his mouth. He wanted to sap the human’s warmth and drink from him. </p><p>Spike’s eye’s snapped to Willow as she spoke.</p><p>“Hey, good timing. I’ve got that talisman for you,” she said.</p><p>Willow fished a simple necklace out of her jewelry box and handed it over to Spike. Spike in return reached into his coat and pulled out a large Ziplock bag filled with dried Stelle. The witch squealed and hugged the bag to her chest when he passed it to her.</p><p>“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” she said.</p><p>Spike snorted but grinned at the happy little witch. </p><p>Xander observed the vampire from his perch on the bed.</p><p>“Awe. If only all the girls squealed like that for you, huh, Spike?”</p><p>Spike’s eye’s snapped to Xander. He smirked at the lad, “They always do, whelp. Which is the opposite of you, right? Monster magnet.”</p><p>Xander watched the vampire wink at him as he turned to leave. A small smile twisted his lips. Monster magnet indeed.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike was working around the Stelle house while he waited for Avery to show up. When the other vampire arrived, Spike gave the him the magic necklace to protect him against the plants. Then the two began to talk about the Stelle's initial sales. </p><p>Three days ago, Spike gave Avery the first chunk of product to move through town. He also gave Avery a second batch of product to give out as free samples to get customers verifying the Stelles validity. Now, Avery was coming back to him devoid of product and flush with cash. Spike was ecstatic. Everything was turning up aces. Avery was happy for the work and Spike was happy for the help. It appeared win-win. </p><p>“Anything new about the blue club?” Spike said.</p><p>“Actually, yeah.” Avery said, “I’ve found a way in for ya. Friday nights, like clockwork, the same group goes in at 8. You can tag along behind them.”</p><p>Spike paid Avery handsomely for his info and then the two talked pricing for the Stelle. Both of them figured they could up the price, since the plant was in such high demand.</p><p> Spike gave Avery a new batch of product and accepted his payment. When the other vampire left, Spike counted his money and figured out a stash spot for it.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Within two weeks of sales, Spike had $25,000. He was perpetually flabbergasted. Who knew the herb was this rare? </p><p>The problem, with all this money rolling in, was that an object in motion stayed in motion. Business was rolling over like a well oiled machine and it didn’t appear to be slowing down any time soon. Spike figured he’d make enough in the next few weeks to get his chip taken out, but he couldn’t figure out how to make that happen.</p><p>Spike started growing the Stelle, specifically as a means of making the money to get his chip out. But, now that it was finally time, he couldn't fathom leaving everything to go to waste so he could go get it out.<br/> <br/>Avery had told him that the chip removal process took two weeks and Spike didn’t want to stop growing Stelle over that time period. He kept thinking, since the Stelle had be tended to constantly, that he needed someone to work with him as a helper.</p><p>Unfortunately, Avery stated right off the bat that he didn't want to work with the Stelle. And Spike’s other limitation was that he couldn't bite anyone to make them do what he wanted. He thought about maybe finding a Sireless fledge; but, then it occurred to him that he could probably get Xander to do it.<br/> <br/> Spike prepared a small Stelle plant for Harris and delivered it.</p><p>"What am I supposed to do with this?" Xander said.</p><p>"Take care of it, idiot."</p><p>Xander scanned the little plant, "I mean what do I do with it?"</p><p>"Take care of it. Put it in a window. Don't over water it."</p><p>Xander stared at Spike, "So this is, like, a favor?"</p><p>Spike squinted at the whelp. He pursed his lips and nodded, “Sure,”</p><p>Xander grinned, "Alright, so if I take care of the plant as a favor, then this cancels out the favor I owe you, right?"</p><p>Spike swallowed, "Yeah, alright,"</p><p>The whelp seemed to like the fact that the 200-year-old vampire now “owed" him for plant sitting. Spike left, hoping that Harris would be able to take care of the plant.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>A week after giving him the Stelle plant, Spike sought out Harris and found the mortal at the bronze. The two of them played a few games of pool together. Afterwards, when Xander said he had to get home since he had work in the morning, Spike offered to walk him. </p><p>The two left the club and walked side by side in the cool night air.</p><p>Spike reached over and poked the human’s forearm. </p><p>Harris grabbed his arm, “Ow!” </p><p>He glared at Spike, “Can you not see I’m bruised, jackass?”</p><p>Spike squinted at the human. Harris was wearing a three-quarter length baseball t-shirt. The vampire liked it. He appreciated the view of Harris’s arms, hands and wrist bones. He’d seen the bruise around his wrist while they were playing pool and he was curious. It looked like someone grabbed him.</p><p>The two of them continued walking.</p><p>“How’d you get it?” Spike said.</p><p>“It was some green scaly guy at Willie’s. Buffy and I were looking for clues about the zombies there earlier this week.”</p><p>Spike made a mental note and then asked Harris how the plant was doing.</p><p>Xander frowned, “Uh. Not so good”.</p><p>Spike scowled and Xander apologized upon seeing Spike’s look of irritation. </p><p>"I'm sorry, okay, but I forgot to water it and it dried out. I then over watered it, but I guess I overcompensated... Anyway, next thing I know it’s just a twig sticking out of a cup of dirt.”</p><p>The vampire tried to stay patient as he walked Xander through a quick plant biology lesson while they walked the rest of the way.</p><p>Once at home, Xander led Spike down to the basement to show him the plant. The vampire inspected the dead plant and then tossed it in the trash can nearby. </p><p>“I’ll bring you another,” Spike said.</p><p>“Why?” Xander said, “Why don’t you take care of it?”</p><p>“I am, brat. I’ve got tons of them, but I need someone, hopefully you, to take care of them without killing them."</p><p>"Oh,” Xander said, “Why?”</p><p>Spike stared at Xander and said nothing.</p><p>Xander licked his lips and stared.</p><p>“Look,” Spike said, sighing, “I need you to take care of a house full of plants, but I need to know, before hand, that you can take care of them. It should only be for a few weeks."</p><p>Xander nodded, “Is there pay?”</p><p>Spike squinted, “Yes.”</p><p>"What's the plant called?" Xander said.</p><p>"Stelle,"</p><p>The vampire withdrew a folded piece of paper from his jacket and passed it to Xander. Once he’d passed it off, he turned and made his way towards the door. </p><p>Xander sarcastically shouted "Bye!", as the door shut. He then turned his attention to the paper and unfolded it. He read the title and scanned three paragraphs of neat cursive. Xander recognized Spike’s freehand. It was old, Victorian, and hard to read. He sat down to decipher the missive.</p><p>After reading it, Xander wondered what Spike was up to. He tried to wrap his head around why he was helping the vampire anyway. He supposed it was because Spike hadn't brought up what kept happening between them to anyone yet. That, and any money he could make was fantastic. He was trying to save up to get out of his parent’s basement and every little bit helped.</p><p>Xander recalled how stressed he'd been perpetually waiting for Spike to drop their little secret any time he was around. He'd been waiting with baited breath for the vampire to delight in humiliating him in front of everyone. He anticipated the moment, but it never seemed to happen. The vampire didn’t seem super inclined to tell anyone what transpired between them.</p><p>Xander stared at the neon lights in his VCR clock as he thought about Spike kissing him. The vampire never mentioned it. Neither of them ever mentioned it. It was the elephant in the room situation. It was almost as weird as Spike running off to LA to kill himself, and then coming back and asking Xander to house sit a bunch of magical plants.</p><p>Xander blinked out of his thoughts and looked down to reread the paper Spike gave him. Once he was done he set the paper aside and stood up to get ready for bed.</p><p>The door opened and Xander looked up to see Spike reenter. The vampire stomped down the steps, strode up to him, and shoved a small plant in his hands.</p><p>“Try not to kill this one,” he said.</p><p>Xander blinked as he watched Spike leave as quick as he’d come. He glanced down at the small plant in his hands and twisted it as he inspected it. The light from the Stelle illuminated his skin magenta. Xander moved across the room to the waste basket to look at the old, dead plant. It was no longer emitting light. </p><p>Xander opened the curtain to set the new plant on the windowsill, and then he set about getting ready for bed. </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike left Harris’s place for the second time that night and headed straight to Willie’s. </p><p>When he entered, a few patrons glanced up at him. Spike scanned everyone in the establishment and his eyes landed on a group of green scaly demons in a corner booth. He had to stop himself from heading over there. Spike forced his boots to detour to the bar. </p><p>“Er, Hiya Spike.” Willie said as he threw a dirty rag over his shoulder.</p><p>“Willie,” Spike grunted as he moved to sit on a bar stool, “Gimme a shot of A+” </p><p>Spike watched Willie poured his shot. He tossed the man some cash and then picked up the glass.</p><p>“What brings ya down here, Spike?” Willie said.</p><p>Spike savored the blood before swallowing. He then pushed the glass away before glancing over his shoulder. He scanned the group of green scaly demons and turned back to Willie.</p><p>“You know the Slayer’s whipping boy?”</p><p>“Oh. Yeah,” Willie nodded, “What'sit? Xander? I think that’s his name.”</p><p>Spike nodded, “Right.”</p><p>"Word on the street says, Xander's got your mark on 'em," Willie said.</p><p>Spike glanced back over his shoulder at the green scaly demons and then back to Willie. He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “You seen any of these boogers touch him?”</p><p>Willie swallowed and looked over Spike’s shoulder, “Er, Spike…”</p><p>Spike nodded, “Hey. Relax. Not gonna to make a mess for ya.”</p><p>Spike glanced down at the bar with a slight smile and then looked up at Willie. He watched the human breath out and relax his shoulders.</p><p>“Yeah, alright.” Willie said, “They were in here when the slayer and her friend showed up. Nothing happened. Just some chin wagging. It went on back and forth until the white hats left.”</p><p> Spike nodded and stood, “Ta, mate.”</p><p> The vampire reach out and grabbed a corkscrew off the bar before turning towards the Yaud demons.</p><p> Willie leaned over the bar, “Hey! Wait! What are ya doing?”</p><p>Spike ignored Willie as his face transformed and he strode across the room. He approached the booth full of green scaly demons and stopped before them.</p><p>Willie ignored a drunk balgrog demon that asked him for a pint while he watched Spike across the room. He leaned half over the bar to see what was going on. Spike growled something at the green demons, and then Willie watched as Spike gripped the corkscrew and stabbed it into the nearest green demon’s forehead.</p><p>Willie winced and yelled, “Hey. You said no mess!”</p><p>He watched as Spike withdrew the corkscrew from the dead demon’s forehead and waved it threateningly at the other two green demons.</p><p>The bar went quiet with piqued interest, but Willie still couldn’t hear the conversation over the music. He watched as Spike stabbed the corkscrew into the table to make his point. Willie winced. </p><p>Spike was oblivious as everyone in the bar watched him. He growled at the green demons and then spun away. When he saw the rest of the bar patrons staring at him he growled. “Yeah, you heard right. That one's mine. Which means he's under my protection. You touch him and you die.”  </p><p>Spike glared around the room and then stalked across the floor towards the exit. He turned a charming smile on Willie, “See? No mess.”</p><p>Willie watched the vampire wink at him before leaving his establishment. He chuckled and turned toward the Balgrog demon to grab his empty glass.</p><p>“Shucks," Willie said, "I think he likes me,” </p><p>The demon rolled its eyes and accepted the fresh pint before shuffling off. </p><p>Willie scanned his bar, watching the two remaining Yaud demons carry their fallen friend out, and heaved a sigh of relief. He was happy he wouldn’t have to figure out how to dispose of the body himself.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Roleplay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>Tara sat outside the espresso pump, drinking a chai tea latte. A shadow covered her and she looked up and smiled at the stranger. It took her a moment to register who it was. It was Jamie, Buffy's boyfriend.</p><p>Tara smiled, "Oh, hey,"</p><p>"Hi," Jamie said, "Can you tell me my future with those things?"</p><p>Tara looked down at the tarot cards spread out in a Celtic cross on the table.</p><p>"O-oh," she said, "I-I... I don't usually do readings for other people."</p><p>"Usually? So, this time you'll make an exception?"</p><p>Tara glanced around and bit her lip, "Um..."</p><p>Jamie grinned as he pulled out his wallet, "What about monetary incentive? What do you say? 100 bucks?"</p><p>Tara swallowed in surprise, "Oh, um... I suppose."</p><p>"Great!" Jamie said.</p><p>He sat down opposite her and tossed a crisp 100 dollar bill down on the table. </p><p>Tara smiled bashfully as she collected her cards and started to shuffle them.</p><p>"A-alright, what do you want to know?" she said.</p><p>Jamie thought for a second, "I want to know if I'll be successful."</p><p>Tara nodded and shuffled the tarot cards. She began to lay out the spread, but paused as she set down the last four cards. She looked across the table at the man staring at her. His eyes were very blue. Tara swallowed.</p><p>"Well?" Jamie said.</p><p>Tara forced a fake smile.</p><p>"It not, um, just as easy as reading the cards... I need to- to- to focus."</p><p>Jamie nodded, "Take your time,"</p><p>Tara nodded and closed her eyes. She focused on the cards she'd just pulled and started analyzing the corresponding pentacles in her mind. A vision flashed before her eyes and Tara blinked her eyes open to stare at the man before her.</p><p>"You're doing a spell?" Tara said.</p><p>Jamie squinted at her, "You got that from the cards?"</p><p>Tara nodded and looked down at the spread of cards before her.</p><p>"Or... two spells?" she said.</p><p>Jamie's eyes sparkled as he watched Tara in the act of divination. He'd seen Drusilla do it, but it was nothing like this. Drusilla was insane. Drusilla talked to the ceiling like a little child. This girl was something else.</p><p>Tara felt the vision ghost over her again and she was able to grasp the image to take a look. She could see Jamie in her mind's eye. He was doing two spells at one time. It was confusing her.</p><p>"You're... It's all muddled," Tara said, "The two spells are mixed up."</p><p>Jamie sat still and silent, perched on the edge of his seat awaiting her next words.</p><p>Tara began to explain what she could see as she saw it.</p><p>"You're standing before two white columns. You're in the center of them... In front of them... There's a woman laying on the ground."</p><p>"A woman?" Jamie said.</p><p>Tara nodded, "She's pale and has long dark hair... H-her hands are missing..."</p><p>Jamie held his breath.</p><p>"You’re holding a scrying orb and it fills with red light as you say something..."</p><p>Jamie grinned as he watched the woman before him channel.</p><p>"Carō iubeō. Instrumenta creō. Corpus sānum creō," Tara said.</p><p>Jamie, having spent a good portion of his life taking Latin in private school, understood. </p><p>"I command the flesh. I create the tools. I create a healthy body," he said.</p><p>"Yes," Tara said, "And then you smash the orb to complete the spell."</p><p>Jamie relaxed a fraction, then recalled Tara spoke about two spells. He was just about to ask about the other, when Tara spoke.</p><p>"When the spell is over, you step over the woman on the ground and..." Tara paused.</p><p>Jamie was eager to know, "What? What happens next?"</p><p>Tara watched as Jamie stepped over the woman on the ground and approached a naked women tied up to an opposing column that she hadn’t seen earlier. Tara felt Jamie's intent to cut out the woman's tongue. She was about to speak but stopped as she took in the girls face. It was like looking into a mirror. Tara saw herself.</p><p>Tara reeled back, shocked. She breathed deeply as she came out of her trance. Terrified, but hiding it well, she blinked several times trying to clear the vision. The only thought reverberating in her mind was that Jamie was going to cut out her tongue. She had to get away from him.</p><p>Tara stood from her seat and quickly began gathering her things into her book bag. "Um, I just remembered. I have to go. I'm sorry."</p><p>Jamie nodded, confused. "Oh, okay... It was interesting, at any rate."</p><p>Tara pulled her book bag over her shoulder and forced a smile.</p><p>"You'll be successful," she said as she stepped away.</p><p>"Oh, thanks,” Jamie said, “Hey, don't forget your money!"</p><p>He reached out for the bill and waved it at her. Tara was already moving away.</p><p>"It's okay," she said, "Keep it,"</p><p>As politely as she could, Tara got away from Jamie and hurried into the espresso pump. She saw Jamie watching her through the window and she looked away and searched for Oz. Tara found him cleaning dirty cups off an empty table and wiping it down. She rushed over to him and tapped him on the shoulder.</p><p>Oz turned around.</p><p>"Leaving already?" he said.</p><p>Tara nodded, "Yeah, I know you just started and I said I'd hang out for moral support, but I, um, forgot- something. I'll s-see you later?"</p><p>Oz nodded. He glanced around and then pecked her on the lips before beaming a smile at her.</p><p>Tara returned the smile and hugged her book bag strap closer as she walked back out into the sunshine. She looked for Jamie as she left the shop, to wave and not arouse suspicion, but he was gone. Tara looked around for him and shivered as she replayed the images her spirit guide blessed her with.</p><p>"Thank you," she whispered aloud as she made her way back to the dorms.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Jamie grinned as he stared at the full incantation in the leather bound tome in his lap. He was happy to learn that Tara was spot on with her reading. She'd given him a major clue to help him finish one of his spells. The Latin she'd recited was part of a bigger spell. A spell he had a copy of. Now all he needed was a Fugazi sphere.</p><p>Jamie marked his page and closed the book before setting it on the table.</p><p>He'd learned through the tarot reading that he was going to succeed in doing both spells. Which meant he'd finally get his life back. He was beyond excited for the future.</p><p> </p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Jamie entered the nightclub and saw it was subdued. The room was cloaked in Jazz music and several patrons were talking causing a din. The barkeep was mixing drinks and Jamie made his way towards the bar. Before he could arrive, though, a lanky man with greying dark hair showed up and placed a drink into his hand. </p><p>"Feydra,” Jamie said, “Just the man I've come to see,"</p><p>The two men moved to sit down at a table. Once seated, they sat across from each other staring. </p><p>"What are you doing here?” Feydra said.</p><p>Jamie pursed his lips and glared at the man opposite him as he took a sip of his drink. Feydra was the last person Jamie wanted as his business manager. Unfortunately, Jamie had to put the man to work somewhere and the club was as good a place as any to keep him out of his hair.</p><p>Feydra belonged to Jamie's father as a slave of sorts. Feydra owed a life debt to the senior Caledonia. Then, once the old man died, Feydra was passed down to Jamie. Jamie didn't like him, but Feydra had his uses.</p><p>"It's my club," Jamie said.</p><p>Feydra nodded, "I mean to say-"</p><p>"I know," Jamie interrupted.</p><p>Feydra continued, "It's not safe for you to be here." </p><p>Jamie stared at the older man, "I know,"</p><p>"So what are you doing here?"</p><p>"I need you to procure something for me," Jamie said.</p><p>Feydra tilted his head, "Oh?"</p><p>"A Fugazi sphere,"</p><p>Feydra's eyebrow lifted and then he nodded.</p><p>"As soon as you can," Jamie said.</p><p>"Of course," Feydra said, "Now... You won't be staying long, will you?"</p><p>Jamie rolled his eyes and downed his drink before standing, "I'm leaving now, don't worry."</p><p>“Wait,” Feydra said, “Here,”</p><p>He handed Jamie a plastic baggie. Jamie took the baggie and stared at its contents.</p><p>“Is this Stelle?”</p><p>Feydra nodded.</p><p>“Where’d you get this?”</p><p>Feydra shrugged, “It’s moving through town, I haven’t picked up a source yet.”</p><p>“Figure it out,” Jamie said.</p><p>He stuffed the baggie into his pocket, and turned to leave the club. </p><p>As much as it pained him, Feydra was right. He shouldn't be anywhere near the club. Not now that word had spread through town that the club was magic by nature. Too many people now knew that whoever killed the owner of the club inherited it. It was only a matter of time before Jamie had a bounty over his head. Thankfully, for now, no one knew it was him who owned it.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Jamie returned home and set the kettle on the stove. He set up a teacup and pulled the plastic baggie from his pocket. There was a sprig of a dried herb inside and he plucked it out and ripped a chunk off the main stem. He stared at the parcel of Stelle in reverence. He couldn't believe that the plant was once again within his grasp. How did Feydra get his hands on it?</p><p>Jamie prepared the herb, crushing it up in his fingers. He dropped it into the teacup and then resealed the rest of the Stelle in the baggie and put it back in his pocket. </p><p>While waiting for the kettle to boil, he recalled the last time he'd taken Stelle. He'd been overseas and 17. It was a life-changing experience. His roommate Ben introduced him to the herb and inadvertently reintroduced him to killing again.</p><p>The two of them spent a couple hours laid up in their respective beds, hallucinating after taking large doses. Afterwards, Jamie came back to consciousness and looked over at Ben who was still tripping. Jamie slid out of his bed and crossed the room. He watched as Ben laid still in the throes of his hallucination. He had a smile plastered to his face and his eyes were open but unseeing. Jamie stared at Ben for a long while before he reached over to the nearby desk, grabbed a pen and stabbed it into his neck. Jamie then stood over Ben watching him twitch as he died. </p><p>When the body was limp and empty of it’s soul, Jamie came out of his daze. He stared at the carnage and grabbed his hair in frustration. His first thought was of disappointing his parents. He reached for the phone, with his bloody hand, and dialed the school nurse. Jamie explained that his roommate was dead and then he stood by the phone, numb, until the nurse arrived. </p><p>The police showed up, as did the coroner. Jamie was forced out of the room, asked a million questions, and then sent to a different room to shower, change and wait. He didn’t rest at all that night, believing he was going to prison. Then the next day he was in meetings. By the end of the next day, he was in a new boarding school.</p><p>It was an illuminating experience for him. Ben was the first person he'd killed since he was nine. Jamie, during his adolescence, had instead taken his frustrations out on smaller animals. After the fallout from little Sally Whitehall in grade four. </p><p>The kettle whistled, bringing Jamie back to the present. He poured the boiling water over the Stelle and watched as the water turned a dark burgundy. He stared at the tea in anticipation. He couldn't wait to drink it. </p><p>Jamie blinked as the cascade of old memories washed over him. He picked up his teacup and moved out of the kitchen and into the front sun room. He stopped before the window and sipped at the scalding tea as he looked out across the yard. He stared at the pond and recalled strangling Buffy there. He closed his eyes and smiled as he revisited the memory of submerging her blond head under the water. She reminded him a lot of little Sally Whitehall.</p><p>Jamie felt the teacup burning his fingertips and he shifted the cup to his other hand. He reminisced over the thrilling moment of drowning Buffy and sat down on the settee to relish in the memory. He'd felt the exact second she'd died in his hands. The moment when the thrashing stopped and everything went still.</p><p>Jamie phased out of the memory with a smile and glanced down at his teacup. He took a few tentative sips of the Stelle tea.</p><p>Thoughts of his past swirled in his mind and Jamie thought back to his childhood. He'd gone to Sunnydale Elementary until he turned 11. Then he'd been pulled out of school and sent abroad. Boarding school was illuminating for him; he'd been taught decorum as well as the magical craft of compulsion. He was forever grateful for his time away studying. He was also grateful to his parents for making sure he had the best education.</p><p>The reason he’d come home to Sunnydale was because he'd received word his parents were murdered. Jamie vowed to himself that he’d come home and find out who did it to avenge his family. While Mr. and Mrs. Caledonia were not Jamie's biological parents, Jamie loved them as if they were. They were always there for him and Jamie never wanted for anything growing up. He loved them both very much.</p><p>Jamie recalled his parents finding out he was hurting bunnies when he was seven. They figured it was a cast off from his abusive first few years in foster care. A cause and effect reaction since what you show a child they will repeat. Jamie, his parents said, had just been emulating his abusers. His parents simply told him not to do it anymore and that had been the end of it. That is, until his parents found little Sally Whitehall's leg in the pond.</p><p>His mother and father sent him away shortly thereafter. He was sat him down, beforehand, and told what was happening. His parents explained everything and showed him why sending him away was the best thing for him.</p><p>At first, Jamie was flabbergasted that his parents could just send him away. But after a few years, Jamie figured out how much he owed his parents. They had done the right thing. Jamie now knew how the world worked and he knew his place in it. Had they not intervened, and sent him away, he may well be in a loony bin or dead by now. </p><p>Jamie thought of his recent stint in the police precinct. He'd only had to sit there for a few hours before Feydra had him released. The old man did have his uses, after all.</p><p>Jamie blinked as the phone rang. He stared at the phone, wondering who could be calling. The shrill ring pierced his ears again and Jamie glared at the phone until it stopped ringing.</p><p>The answering machine clicked on and the caller left a message. </p><p>Jamie blinked, uncomprehending, as he listened to the lady on the other end of the line explain the prerequisites for admittance into his courses for next semester. When the message stopped recording, Jamie sat in silence. He realized, then, that his plan to go to Sunnydale University was no longer viable. Not when he'd just been caught trying to murder his girlfriend.</p><p>At his old school, he was known to be "smart", "funny" and "handsome". All descriptions he liked. That would no longer be the case here. Starting a new school was always difficult, but it would be more so now. Not to mention, he already had his hands full with Drusilla and Anya.</p><p>Jamie sighed and laid down on the sofa. He crossed his arms behind his head and crossed his legs at the ankle. He thought of Drusilla asleep in her cage and Anya sleeping peacefully in the great room. </p><p>Jamie closed his eyes as he thought of their child. The last time he'd seen their demonic spawn was a few days ago. It still surprised him that the demon they’d birthed was out there creating zombies. </p><p>He'd been out scouting for his last witch tongue when he’d seen it. He watched as the demon's hulking blue body effortlessly ran after its prey. The demon caught a woman quickly and started devouring her. Jamie watched from afar, standing in the shadows. Then, suddenly, the massive dodecahedron head raised and turned to look in his direction. Jamie froze.</p><p>The two stared at one another for a moment before the demon started to move towards him. </p><p>Jamie reminded himself that the demonic entity was Anya. That his child and Anya were trapped within the demon by a curse. It wasn't a stray demon. It was Anya. He waited as the huge blue demon approached. In the background, Jamie watched the forgotten carcass of the woman twitch and begin to rise. He gulped.</p><p>He was surprised and fascinated when Buffy showed up out of nowhere and started to attack the demon and zombie.</p><p>Jamie, stood in the shadows, dumbstruck. He was surprised Buffy was alive. Not only alive, but spry and in fine fighting form. Jamie watched the blond fight his demonic child. He was careful not to be seen.</p><p>Suddenly, the blue demon turned tail and ran and Jamie watched perplexed. He wondered why his demon was afraid of Buffy.</p><p>Jamie waited for Buffy to clear away before exiting the shadows and heading home.</p><p>Conscious thought wisped from his mind and Jamie lay sightless, as the Stelle activated within his body. With a grin on his face, he lay staring up at the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Willow and Giles worked late into the night working together on translating the soul magic book. When they finished, they were both exhausted and proud. They ordered pizza and ate it together as they sat side by side on the sofa. </p><p>Giles turned on the TV for noise, leaving it on the discovery channel. He got pulled into the program and once he was done his pizza he noticed Willow was asleep beside him. Giles settled back, to finish watching the program and Willow moved in her sleep and slumped against his shoulder. Giles bit his lip and chose to consciously ignore it as he continued to watch the telly. Before he knew it, he soon dozed off himself.</p><p>When Giles awoke, he felt warm and sedated. He noticed himself stretched out on the couch as he yawned. Willow laid on top of him and in his sleep induced state, Giles couldn't think of any reason why she shouldn't be. He wrapped his arms around her and snuggled back to sleep. </p><p>When he woke up a second time, Giles was alone. He reached for his glasses, found them missing, and sat up to see them sitting on the coffee table. He wiped them off and set them on his nose before looking around. </p><p>He smelled tea and baked goods. He stood up and stretched. Giles wandered into the kitchen, wondering if Willow was in there. It was empty. He found a small tea tray set up with a teapot, scones and a note. </p><p>Giles picked up the note, read its simple instructions, "Have a nice day!" and grabbed a cup to pour some tea into. He sipped the warm tea as he moved around his condominium waking up.</p><p>After a moment of rebuking himself for thinking it possible, he double-checked on the soul magic book to make sure Willow hadn't taken it. Upon seeing it within his desk, Giles shook his head at himself and moved towards the bathroom to shower.</p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike stared at Xander, “You sure you got it?”</p><p>Xander sighed and shook the paper in his hand, “Yeah, I got it. And I wrote it all down too. You’re all set.”</p><p>Spike glance around and then pat down his jacket. </p><p>"Right. Just nervous since the lights are new. I don't want a fire. You'll make sure the plants don't grow into the lights, yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah, Spike. I got it."</p><p>Xander wondered where the vampire was going and why he was acting so cryptic and out of sorts.</p><p>“Alright, yeah,” Spike said, “Don’t kill everything.”</p><p>Xander nodded, "I'll try not to."</p><p>The vampire took a step toward the front door and then he reached into his pocket. He withdrew a key ring and held it out. When Xander reached for it, Spike held on to it. "Don't let anyone in. Not Avery. Not anyone. Only you. Clear?" </p><p>Xander nodded, "Right. No house parties."</p><p>Spike let go of the keys and turned towards the door. He glanced back at Harris and knew he'd regret it if he didn't do it. He reached out and grabbed him by the neck of his shirt. He pulled the mortal close for a quick kiss. One kiss turned into three and when Spike pulled back he smirked. Xander was staring at him with wide brown eyes. He licked his lips and let go of the human. The two of them stared at one another until Spike turned to leave the house.</p><p>Xander stood frozen in place for quite some time. He hadn't expected the goodbye kiss. The first thing he did, when he came back to himself, was lock the door and snoop through the entire house.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander found a rhythm right away. He'd head to work at the Double Meat Palace in the morning from his parents place. Then he'd head to Spike’s house after work to check on the plants. After that, he'd shovel food in his mouth for dinner, help out the Scooby gang at night, and then head home to crash into bed and do it all again.</p><p>He'd spent two weeks in this rut now, and it wasn't so bad. He liked being busy, and taking care of the plants wasn’t actually as hard as he thought it would be. They weren't that demanding. Usually, when he went to the house, he'd do a sweep of the rooms to see if any of the Stelle were growing too close to the lights. If they were, he'd shift them around until it was safe. Then Xander would try to do the watering as fast as he could since he found he didn’t like being in the dilapidated house by himself. All the strange sporadic sounds scared him and gave him the creeps.</p><p>Tonight, though, was different. Xander was all too happy he had the Stelle house to escape to. </p><p>His parents were about an hour into a rip roaring drunk fight and Xander escaped out his basement window as soon as he had the thought to do so. He figured he'd just visit the Stelle house to waste a few hours, while his parents cooled down. He’d then return home to get some sleep before work in the morning. </p><p>Instead, in the empty house, Xander quickly grew bored. He soon found himself crawling into the big white bed in the master bedroom and closing his eyes.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike arrived home after getting his chip out. The doctor was true this time. The procedure worked. The doc had him in a stasis for two weeks, all the while keeping him topped up on blood. Apparently it was the only way to remove the chip without permanent brain damage.</p><p>The doctor was a good guy, half demon, half comedian. Spike found himself laughing as the doctor cut into him. Once it was all said and done, the doc even let him bite the human nurse as a test. </p><p>Spike took his time, gently biting into the placid human nurse. He sucked back a few liters of her blood and left her alive. He paid his chipendectomy bill and returned home with Avery's assistance.</p><p>A large grin spread across Spike's face as he entered the Stelle house. He could smell Harris. He could pinpoint his exact location. The mortal was asleep in his bed. Spike told Avery to head home, and once the other vampire left, he closed the door and locked it before moving up the stairs three at a time.</p><p>The human's heart pumped steadily in his ears as he pulled off his leather duster. He pulled back the covers and crawled into the bed beside the human without reservations. </p><p>Xander didn't move. </p><p>Spike coiled himself around the warm blood bag like a snake and sighed as he closed his eyes. He lay there, warming exponentially. Spike peaked open his eyes to stare at the sleeping human. He watched him sleep until he dozed off with a smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander woke up a few hours later, encased in a tight embrace. He blinked open his eyes and pulled away from whoever it was behind him. He felt weird being the little spoon. He gulped as he saw the bleached wonder laying behind him. He guessed it served him right to wake up spooned, since he'd fallen asleep in the vampire's bed.</p><p>He stared at the blond, curious where he’d been the last two weeks. He also wondered why they were in bed together. He spied blood in the vampires hair and he leaned forward to inspect a shaved patch. Xander’s eyes widened and he bit his lip. He knew what it meant. Spike had his chip removed. </p><p>Xander stared at the blood-stained shaved area. There was no visible wound. He leaned back and carefully slid out of the bed. He inched out of the room, eased down the stairs, and softly closed the front door behind him. </p><p>When he felt the warm sun heat his skin, he let out his pent up breath. The gravity of the situation hit him squarely in the chest. Spike went away to get his chip removed.</p><p>Xander swallowed a knot in his throat and walked toward his parent’s house. He told himself that he didn't need to help Spike anymore. He’d done as Spike instructed. He followed the rules on the paper and he didn’t kill any plants. He’d done what was asked and he was now officially done working for the vampire. He would get his money later and that was that.</p><p>Xander checked his watch as he entered the house. He didn’t have time to shower before work, so he dressed in his uniform and ate a bowl of cereal while standing in the kitchen. The house was quiet, as it always was after a big fight. </p><p>He drank a couple glasses of water and brushed his teeth before he started walking towards the Double Meat Palace. He was halfway there when it occurred to him that learning Spike somehow got his chip out didn't make the situation any different. The vampire had been able to hurt him for a while now and hadn’t killed him yet. </p><p>Yet? </p><p>Was that something he wanted to wait around for?</p><p>Xander shook his head at himself. Unable to make heads nor tails of his thoughts, he set them aside and continued on his way to work.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>After his shift at the double meat palace, Xander stopped in at the Stelle house. It wasn’t until he was standing before the front door that he realized he shouldn’t have come. It was just habit now. He’d done the same thing, every day, for the last two weeks. He took a deep breath and unlocked the door. Spike was probably sleeping anyway.</p><p>Xander second guessed his intelligence, as he entered the dark foyer and closed the door behind himself. He knew Spike could hurt him, but for some reason he suspected the vampire wouldn’t. He hoped he was right.</p><p>He walked further into the dark house and wandered around from room to room checking on plants. He checked in on the babies in the living room basking in sunlight, before he went into the kitchen to hook up the hose.</p><p>Spike heard the front door open and he sat up from a dead sleep. He listened and sniffed and then fell back into the bed with a smile. It was only Harris. He yawned and stretched as he focused on listening to the human move around the house.</p><p>Xander hummed a song under his breath as watered the plants. Spike listened to the mortal move through out the rooms.</p><p>Spike waited for the mortal to clomp up the stairs before he crawled out of bed. He wandered out of the room and walked up behind the mortal as he silently stretched. Spike didn’t mean to scare the whelp but couldn’t help but laugh when Xander turned around and jumped in fright. He'd clenched the hose handle and sprayed the wall.</p><p>"Jesus! Don't do that!"</p><p>Spike smirked.</p><p>Xander held his hand on his heart and swallowed, "You, uh, look different,"</p><p>Spike squinted, "How so?"</p><p>"More alive... Not that that makes any sense," Xander said, "I see you got your chip out."</p><p>Spike lifted his hand to his head and found the bald spot, "Yeah. Does it look bad?"</p><p>Xander snorted, "Yeah. You should shave your whole head."</p><p>Spike dropped his hand and shrugged, "Nah. It'll grow back."</p><p>The two stood staring at one another as a fan oscillated the air around them. The Stelle sparkled beneath the grow lights. </p><p>Xander was sweating and Spike watched a droplet of sweat fall from the human's hairline down behind his ear to trickle down the side of his throat.</p><p>Xander saw Spike eyeing his throat and gulped, "So, uh, how many people have you killed already?”</p><p>Spike tilted his head and squinted at the mortal, "None. I just got home."</p><p>Xander nodded and stuffed his free hand into his pocket, "So, um, now that it’s out... Are you gonna kill me?" </p><p>Spike scratched his neck, "Haven't killed you yet, have I?"</p><p>They stared at one another until Xander swallowed and looked away.</p><p>"I’m gonna head out,"</p><p>Spike watched Xander moved past him and leave the room.</p><p>"Lock up, will ya?" he said.</p><p>Xander paused halfway down the stairs, "Uh, sure."</p><p>Spike listened to the mortal walk down the stairs and close the door behind him before he wandered back to bed.</p><p>Once the lock clicked behind him, Xander let out a suspended lungful of breath and gratefully walked into the sunshine.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Buffy sat opposite Giles in the watcher's living room. </p><p>“I forgot to tell you I saw the massive blue demon with the weird head again,” she said.</p><p>“Oh?” Giles said, “When was this?”</p><p>“A week ago? Maybe two..."</p><p>"Buffy,"</p><p>"I know, I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind,"</p><p>Giles nodded, "Continue,"</p><p>"Well," Buffy said, "I was out patrolling when I heard a woman scream from a few blocks over. I rushed over and ran straight into a fight with the demon.”</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“It ran away,” </p><p>“The demon ran away?" Giles said.</p><p>Buffy nodded, "Yep, but-"</p><p>Buffy bit her lip. She didn’t want to mention that she thought she’d seen Jamie. Maybe she hadn’t.</p><p>"But?" Giles said.</p><p>"Well... I think I saw something," Buffy said instead.</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"The woman that was screaming... I'm pretty sure she rose as a zombie," Buffy said.</p><p>“She... rose?”</p><p>“Yeah, as a zombie.” Buffy repeated himself.</p><p>Giles’s eyes lit up, “Really?”</p><p>“Yeah, and it’s totally weird that this gets you off,”</p><p>Giles gave his slayer a reproving look, “I’m not...”</p><p>He tsked and took off his glasses as he thought through the implications, “So, we’ve finally learned who’s responsible for the zombies. Of course! The locator spells were all volatile because there was nothing to cast at... It’s a side effect...”</p><p>Buffy smiled and stood up, “Well, I see I’m no longer needed here. I've gotta get back to the dorm, anyway. I have a test to study for.”</p><p>Giles put on his glasses, “Oh, yes. Right. Of course,”</p><p>He walked her to the door and stopped when she did. They looked at each other.</p><p>“Yes, Buffy?”</p><p>Buffy squinted, "Hey, I know it's not really my place, but I want you to know that if something happened between you and Willow it wouldn't be the end of the world, ya know? I mean she could do a hell of a lot worse. Believe me."</p><p>Giles cleared his throat but said nothing. The two of them stared at one another until Buffy rubbed her hands on her hips, "Well, I should get going."</p><p>"Right. Yes. I'll look into this zombie business right away."</p><p>Buffy smiled and nodded. She left the condo feeling a little lighter. Her meddling was accepted and appreciated, even if it wasn't verbally acknowledged.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike spent his days and nights at home recovering. He wanted to go out and hunt, but he was too exhausted. He guessed his brain was still knitting back together.</p><p>He thought back to what the doctor told him. He'd had the chip removed the night he showed up. But that’s all he remembered. After the operation, he had amnesia. The doc told him he’d been locked up as a feral demon for the passed fortnight. Spike couldn't refute it. He had no memory of the last two weeks. Regardless, he was glad to be himself again and back at home.</p><p>Spike wondered if Harris told his friends about the chip. He'd rather not deal with the repercussions just yet; so he laid low and worked on his Stelle business.</p><p>Xander stopped in after work, daily, to help with the plants. The two of them would chat amicably, but Spike never asked him what he told his friends.</p><p> </p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Like every day for the past week, Xander got off work, headed over to Spike's Stelle house and let himself in to began tending to the plants. He assumed correctly that the vampire was still sleeping as he began watering. He froze as a loud growl rumbled throughout the house. </p><p>Xander dropped his hose and took the stairs two at a time. He rushed into the vampire's bedroom and stood in the doorway. Curious, he watched as Spike tossed and turned on the big white bed.</p><p>The vampire was asleep. His demonic face gnashing at the pillows as he jerked and twisted in the sheets. Xander wondered at his own stupidity as he approached the vampire.</p><p>Cautiously, he reached out a hand to shake Spike's shoulder. Before he could pull it back, he squealed like a child as he was attacked. Xander flew through the air, ass over tea kettle, and squeezed his eyes shut waiting for whatever happened next.</p><p>The vampire enveloped the human, pulling him underneath himself and cloaking his body over him. He sank his fangs into Xander's throat and moaned as he gulped down the blood.</p><p>Seconds later, his eyes flew open, fully awake.</p><p>Spike realized where he was and what he was doing. He withdrew his fangs and lapped at the wound as he mentally apologized. He listened to the mortal's heart as it calmed in his chest. Then he wiggled with a grin as he felt the mortal's hand creeping up his back. </p><p>Spike licked his lips, shifted closer and latched his mouth back onto the wound. He found himself instantly aroused and couldn't help but grind his pelvis against the human as he slurped at his neck. The idea that Harris got off on him being a vampire was just too much. He wanted the mortal, insatiably. </p><p>Spike lay atop Xander, wrapped around him like a snake. He realized he must have unconsciously dragged Harris down into the bed with him. Now that he had him here, he had no desire to get off him.</p><p>The blood flow ebbed and Spike groaned as he squished his face into the human's neck. He took a long deep breath and then pushed himself up onto his elbows to look down at him. He reverted to his human face as he rose. </p><p>Xander blinked up at him with wide brown eyes. His pupils were dilated and he was breathing heavy. The two stared at one another in a suspended moment and then the vampire sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he shifted off of Harris and situated himself beside him on the bed.</p><p>They each lay on their backs staring at the ceiling.</p><p>Xander laughed nervously in the ensuing silence, "Ohhh-kay. Heh. Not how I was expecting to get into your bed,"</p><p>Spike cracked a grin and peeked sideways at the brunette, "Trying to get in my bed, huh?"</p><p>"I didn't mean it like that," Xander blushed, "You were having a nightmare."</p><p>Spike nodded, sleepily, and shifted onto his side so he could look at the human. He sucked in a deep unneeded breath and sighed. He wanted to reach out and cuddle the whelp, but he felt it would be too much. He'd enjoyed their little nap together when he'd first come home. This was the first time Xander had been close to him since then.</p><p>"So, are you going to tell me what the big bad has nightmares about?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike closed his eyes and licked his lips. He stayed silent. </p><p>Xander racked his brain for something to say to fill the silence.</p><p>"There was a lioness stalking Drusilla," Spike said, "She was playing on a playground. There was a swing and a teeter-totter… a merry-go-round..."</p><p>When Spike paused and didn't continue, Xander prodded him, "What happened?"</p><p>"I was racing this giant cat to the playground. I made it there just before it did and I barely covered Dru in time. The bloody cat bit into the back of my thigh just before you woke me up."</p><p>Xander scanned the vampire's face, "What do you think it means?"<br/> <br/>Spike shrugged, "Means I gotta find her is all. Something’s after her."</p><p>“Huh,” Xander said. </p><p>His mind was running a mile a minute wondering how Spike could assume all that from a dream. Were vampire dreams somehow prophetic like slayer dreams were? He was curious.</p><p>Spike shifted and Xander yelped as the vampire shoved him off the bed. He fell to his bum on the hardwood. </p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>Xander laughed and started yanking on the blankets from the floor.</p><p>Spike clung on to his end of the blankets like a child and the two played tug o'war. Spike let go of the linens and laughed as Xander kept tugging and fell back and hit his head on the hardwood.</p><p>"Ow," Xander rubbed the back of his head as he sat up, "Have I told you yet how not glad I am that you got the chip out?"</p><p>Spike snorted and laid-back on the bed. He thought about his latest meeting with the witch. She hadn’t acted any different with him. Spike stared at the ceiling and couldn’t stop himself from asking, "You go run off and tattle on me already?"</p><p>When Xander said nothing, Spike lifted his head to look at him. The human swallowed and shook his head no.</p><p>"I didn't tell her you could hurt me before either...”</p><p>“Why?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander licked his lips and shook his hair from his eyes. He didn’t know the answer to that. </p><p>“I should tell Buffy, though, for her safety." </p><p>Spike stared at Xander, "You gonna tell the Slayer I live here? Lead her to my door?" </p><p>Xander returned Spike’s stare. After a minute he shrugged and looked away.</p><p>He didn't have an answer. He didn't want to choose between his friendship with Buffy and his friendship with Spike. That’s why he hadn’t said anything to anyone about anything.</p><p>Xander stood up, and walked out of the bedroom. He moved back downstairs to finish watering the Stelle.</p><p>Stuck in his thoughts, Xander puttered. </p><p>He knew if that if he had to choose between the vampire and slayer that Buffy would win. He didn't want to think about having to choose between them. Not when he and Spike were getting along so much better lately. Not to mention stray captivating kisses and unspoken tension between the two of them. Xander wondered where it would all lead. </p><p> </p><p>* * * </p><p> </p><p>Spike lay back in bed, thinking. He'd watched the play of emotions run over the human's face. He'd seen the confusion and uncertainty and he was happy to see it. He saw himself in that look, where it never was before. He had no idea what was going on between himself and the human. They both wanted each other, but neither was making any moves. It was as if each of them was standing on a knife's edge whenever they were alone together. But still nothing happened.</p><p>Spike wanted to make a move on Harris, but he had no idea where to start. He wondered if he should talk to the witch. She would know the dynamics. He made up his mind to talk to her as soon as possible. </p><p>Spike listened as Xander moved through the house. He thought about how satisfied he was to have the chip gone. It had been way too long since he'd been free. He was completely unbothered about the consequences that could arise. He would deal with whatever happened as it happened.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p>“I’m gonna head out,” Xander said.</p><p>He swung around the door frame to look into Spike’s bedroom.</p><p>“You patrolling tonight?” Spike said.</p><p>“Yeah, with Faith...” Xander entered the room, “Who’s that?”</p><p>Spike looked at the pure black cat laying on the bed pressed up against his leg, “No idea. He just walked in.”</p><p>Xander approached the cat and gave it a few slow pets, “Huh, I guess he came in when I took out the trash,”</p><p>Spike stared at Xander. Every time the mortal pet the cat, he’d also pet Spike.</p><p>Xander backed up, “Anyway, I’ll see ya later,”</p><p>“See you,” Spike said.</p><p>The vampire waited until the mortal left the house before standing up and getting dressed. He wanted to hunt.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Faith and Xander were patrolling together when they were jumped by a group of vampires. Xander thought he held his own despite being thrown into two different tombstones. </p><p>Faith dispatched the vampires in short work while Xander lay on the ground, gasping for breath. Dew from the grass seeped into his back as he watched the brunette slayer stalk towards him.</p><p>Faith tucked away her stake as she stepped over Xander. She then plopped down into his lap. Her hands started to rub up against his chest and Xander's eyes went wide as he guessed the slayer's intention. His mind helpfully supplied him with memories of the last time the two of them were in this position.</p><p>"I wanna ride you, Xan," Faith said.</p><p>She reached down between her thighs to grope his flaccid penis. </p><p>Recalling how awful he'd felt after the last time he'd had sex with Faith, Xander rebuffed her advances. He shifted the slayer off his lap and scrambled to his feet. </p><p>"Uh, yeah, not gonna happen, Faith. Totally not feeling it."</p><p>Faith's eyes narrowed in anger. She glared at him and then after a beat her lips quirked into a smile. She chuckled, "Oh, I get it. It's because I'm not a vampire, right?"</p><p>Xander froze, "What?"</p><p>Faith nodded, "I knew it! You've got a thing for that chipped freak of a vampire. Oh, man, this is good. Ha."</p><p>"He's not-" Xander stopped himself.</p><p>Faith blinked, "He's not what? A vampire? We both know that's not true. He's not what? A freak? Chipped?" </p><p>Faith's mouth went slack and her eyes bulged. Then she stepped closer with a menacing look, "Does your little vampire boyfriend not have a chip in his head?"</p><p>Xander blinked. He didn't know what to say. He knew the answer was written upon his face.</p><p>"And he's drinking blood from you?" Faith reached out and flicked the scar on Xander's neck, "Wow, Xan. Whoring yourself out to a vampire and subverting your friends. You're a real peach now."</p><p>Xander fought his reaction to reach up to touch his scar as she talked about it. He felt torn. He secretly enjoyed his mark; it was sorta special to him in it's own weird fucked up way. But the way that Faith was talking about it made Xander feel like it was a dirty thing. What was so wrong with him feeding his vampire? Xander bit his lip as he realized that he just attributed ownership over Spike in his thoughts. There it was. His mindset even affirmed it. Spike was his vampire. He didn't want any other vampire drinking from him. He trusted Spike. It was their weird little thing.</p><p>"I'm not whoring myself out," Xander said.</p><p>"I don't believe you," Faith said.</p><p>Xander watched as the brunette Slayer stared at him before she shook her head and walked away. He stood alone in the empty graveyard wondering what the right call was. Was he changing? Becoming dark? Was he acting alien? Spike and him used to fight verbally. Now their tongues dueled in other ways. Was that so wrong?</p><p>Xander felt his stomach fill with butterflies as he thought of Spike kissing him. His mind easily recalled all the fun moments he'd shared with the vampire in the last few months. Sure, there was times when he’d been afraid of Spike, but that was when the whole chasing kink started. Or when Spike was frightened after the nightmare. But that only happened once. </p><p>Spike never actively riled him up anymore. They were getting along. Xander truly didn't feel like what was happening between them was wrong. It didn't feel dirty and bad like Faith implied. Spike had never once made him feel like a whore. Not like she had.<br/> <br/>He thought about his first time. How he'd felt after losing his virginity to Faith. If he had to choose one word to describe the occasion he'd certainly use "whorish". Xander felt like a literal whore as he was shoved out the door with his clothes in hand. </p><p>He shook himself from his thoughts and started walking home. That wasn't a memory he liked to visit often. In the end, he concluded that the slayer was most likely projecting.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>The sleek black cat followed Spike out of the house. The vampire chuckled, amused, as the cat walked beside him down the street. He paid it little mind, knowing the cat could take care of it self.</p><p>Spike saw a pretty young book worm waiting for a ride behind the library. Her hair was in braids. He drank from her but left her alive propped up with her book bag on a bench.</p><p> Grinning, he moved through town, not realizing that the cat was no longer his companion. He drank from several random humans just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Near the docks, Spike drank from an old man taking a piss behind the bar. After a few pulls from him, Spike left the man sitting in the puddle of his own piss. </p><p>By the time he eventually made it home, he was over fed, and surprised he hadn't killed anyone.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Faith headed straight to Buffy once she left Xander. She knew she shouldn't have left him alone at night, but she also knew that he would be fine getting home by himself. She'd noticed the vampire’s tonight ignoring him unless he attacked them first. Faith wondered if it had something to do with Spike feeding on him.</p><p>Deciding it best to get it all sorted, so she could forget about it completely, Faith knocked on the dorm room door.</p><p>Buffy opened the door and blinked in surprise. She stood holding the door half open.</p><p>Faith gave Buffy an appraising look before taking a step back.</p><p>"Just thought you'd like to know your pet vampire doesn't have a chip in his head anymore," she said.</p><p>Faith spun on her heel and stalked down the hall as Buffy called out after her. Faith ignored her and exited Stevenson hall to head towards Crawford street.</p><p>Buffy watched Faith walk away and when she was out of sight she turned back into the dorm room. She closed the door and leaned against it. She looked at the red-head.</p><p>"You heard that?" Buffy said.</p><p>"Yep," Willow nodded, "Guess we're doing de-invite spells the rest of the night."</p><p>Buffy nodded, “Guess so...”</p><p>She moved closer to the witch. “Just tell me what you need."</p><p>The two girls got themselves ready and then headed out. </p><p>First, they went over to Willow's parent's house to revoke Spike's invite, since it was on the way to Giles condo. After, the two ladies left the ex-watcher's and made their way over to Xander's parent’s home. </p><p>Xander let them in and had them quickly do the spell while he yawned through it. The girls were quick, thankfully, since he had to go to bed and get up early. </p><p>When Willow and Buffy left him, to go do the spell on the Summer's family home, Xander lay in bed unable to sleep. </p><p>He wondered what his friends thought of him now. Faith had obviously told Buffy everything. What would Buffy think about him not telling her about the chip? About Spike? Buffy hadn’t mentioned anything, but she could just be mad and unable to verbalize. </p><p>Eventually, sleep claimed him. </p><p>When he woke up, what felt like seconds later, he got up and ready for work. </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Living off pure human blood had Spike as fit as a fiddle. He couldn't believe how great he felt. He hadn't felt this great in over a year. He walked across the unkempt front lawn and up the front stairs of the Stelle house. </p><p>He was returning from the little witches with a pep in his step. He’d snacked on his way to and from her parent's house, leaving scared citizens running home grabbing their necks. </p><p>Willow had great news for him, telling him as she stood in the doorway, that they were sold out of Stelle on the website. Spike gave the little witch her prize package of Stelle, extracting it from his coat pocket, and then asked her the hard questions. Like why she hadn't invited him inside. </p><p>Willow stuttered and stared at him, "Well, frankly, Spike, I'm terrified that you got your chip out."</p><p>Spike pursed his lips as he reached out and pressed his palm against the barrier. He looked at the witch as he dropped his hand.</p><p>"So, you all know then?"</p><p>"That your chips out? Yeah." Willow said.</p><p>"Harris told you?"</p><p>"No. Faith did."</p><p>"How'd-" Spike stopped himself and shook his head, "Doesn't matter. Gonna let me in or what?"</p><p>Spike tilted his head and stared at the witch.</p><p>"I-I don't know," she said.</p><p>"Would it make a difference if I told you chip's been out for weeks now?"</p><p>The vampire watched as Willow thought back to how often he'd been over to visit in the last few weeks. He watched her think about how many times she'd stopped by his own home. </p><p>Willow pursed her lips as the two stared at one another.</p><p>"Frig, Spike. This messes up everything. I have to trust you here. This is my mom's house."</p><p>"I won't kill your mom," he said.</p><p>Willow stared into the vampire's face as she thought about it. Against her better judgment, she invited him in. She stepped aside and closed the door once he entered.</p><p>Once the door clicked shut, Spike pulled up his demonic face, spun around with preternatural speed and pinned the witch to the door. Willow shrieked in fear and Spike released the witch and backed away laughing.</p><p>Willow immediately came at him. She punched and slapped him in the arm and chest and ranted about what a jerk he was, which only caused Spike to laugh harder. He eventually pulled away from her feeble slaps and wiped a tear from his eye.</p><p>"Oh, gods, it feels so nice to know I still got it."</p><p>"You are such an ass! Argh!" Willow cried.</p><p>Irritated, she moved away from the vampire and sat down at the kitchen table. Spike could see her books spread out across the expanse.</p><p>"Your folks expected to return soon?"</p><p>Willow glanced at the clock, "A few hours, I suppose."</p><p>Spike started pacing and Willow glanced at him, "Got something on your mind, Spike?"</p><p>Spike stopped and looked at her, "How is it physically possible for me to stick my dick in another bloke?"</p><p>Willow, wide-eyed, blinked several times. To say she was taken aback by the question was an understatement. She forged ahead in the conversation with the assumption that the vampire wanted the logistics of gay sex. Teacher Willow reared her ugly head and Willow laid everything out for Spike like an anatomy lesson.</p><p> </p><p>* * * </p><p><br/><br/>Spike unlocked the door and closed the door behind himself as he felt for the lubricant bottles in his breast pocket. He'd stopped at the chemist to pick some up at Willow's insistence.</p><p>He moved through the magenta tinted foyer and up the stairs. Once in his room he withdrew the large bottle of lubricant and set it under the bed. He then took the tiny tube out of his pocket. The chemist upsold him on a big bottle, since it came with the small tube.</p><p>Spike sat on the edge of the bed and opened the tube. He squirted some of the clear gel onto his hand and rubbed it around. He was curious about how this substance could allow a large phallus to enter such a small channel. He knew it possible, since he'd experienced it, but still, he couldn't fathom how it worked.</p><p>Spike put the tube back in his breast pocket in case of emergency. Willow had advised him to always keep some on hand. </p><p>Satisfied that he was now prepared, should anything happen between him and Xander, Spike peaked into the upstairs rooms and then went back downstairs. He checked on all the plants and then headed back out again to hunt.</p><p>Spike wandered the night, chuffed with himself. His best laid plans were following through again. He’d started the Stelle business and got his chip out. He was working on Xander and if he could somehow figure out Drusilla he’d be set.</p><p>Spike came upon a man choking a woman in an alley and he watched them for a moment before intervening. He wanted to be sure he wasn’t interrupting some sort of kinky night time game. </p><p>He stepped in when he saw the man reach for his belt and the woman intensify her struggle and rake her nails down the man’s face.</p><p>Spike stepped up behind the man and bit into his neck. He stared at the woman in front of him as he reached out and grabbed the mans hand from her throat. Spike crushed the meaty hand within his own and drank deeply from the man as his amber eyes bore into the woman. The crying disheveled victim shook in shock as she stared back.</p><p>Spike lifted his mouth from the unconscious man’s neck, holding the body up against his chest. </p><p>He growled at the woman.</p><p>“Run,” he said.</p><p>Tripping over herself, the woman ran out of the alley.</p><p>Spike lifted the body and continued feeding. He mauled the man as he drained him dry, then he dropped the corpse into a nearby dumpster bin. He grinned, sated, as he cleaned his mouth.</p><p>Spike continued walking and headed towards the industrial district. When he spied the long blue wall, he scanned the skyline for a way up. He jumped up onto the roof and hid in the shadows. He didn’t have to wait long.</p><p>A group of about eight people walked towards him and Spike watched them. Avery was right, they came here like clockwork.</p><p>A lady dressed head to toe in Barbie pink knocked on the blue wall. She seemed to be the leader.</p><p>A disembodied voice commanded, "Password?"</p><p>The girl in pink giggled, "Doric,"</p><p>An invisible door appeared and Spike jumped down silently from the roof as the group began to enter. He enmeshed himself into the back of the group and slipped inside with them.</p><p>When they entered, he followed the group into an old converted warehouse that was now a bustling night club. </p><p>Spike disengaged from the group as soon as he could and headed towards the bar. </p><p>There was a lineup, so he was able to take his time looking around to scope out the clientele. It appeared he'd stumbled into a demon club. Spike moved up in line and eventually he was able to buy a couple of shots and a beer. He downed the shots at the bar and took his beer with him to a free table. He scanned the room. There was a stage, not in use, and a large dark door that a few patrons went into and didn't come out from.</p><p>Spike decided to mingle and try to find out information about the club. He wanted to know who was running it. He also wanted to know if anyone knew where Drusilla was.</p><p>Three hours and 9 beers later, Spike hit the jackpot. The owner of the club was none other than Jamie Caledonia. Spike tried to belie his expression when he heard that. He didn't want to put himself on anyone's radar. Thankfully, the demon he chatted with was a non stop talker. Spike didn't have to pry for information at all. He just sat sipping his beer and absorbing everything the demon across from him wanted him to know.</p><p>Apparently, the club was magical. The owner rights immediately transferred to whoever killed the acting club owner. No one knew who this Jamie Caledonia was, but he became the club owner a few months previous and now he had a bounty on his head. </p><p>Spike couldn’t learn anything else about the club owner, but he did learn that Drusilla was either "employed" or a "girlfriend" of his.</p><p>Spike paid for the demon's next drink before he took a step away from the table. He then backtracked to the demon and asked him how he was supposed to know the password the next time he wanted to enter the club. The demon looked at him strange but told him to talk to the doorman. </p><p>Spike found the doorman, a large guy in a suit that vaguely resembled a rhino. He asked about a future password and kept himself still as the doorman grabbed him by the wrist and performed a spell. </p><p>Spike wandered out of the club, wearily wondering what the hell that was about. He didn't feel different. </p><p>Walking away from the demon club, his anger began to boil. He wondered what game Drusilla was playing at. What was she doing with that wanker Jamie Caledonia? </p><p>Spike started heading home, wondering what to do with the new information he’d acquired. The vampire rounded the corner, outside of the club, and bumped into someone. Spike instantly smelled Drusilla and he grabbed the guy and threw him down on the ground. He climbed on him and beat the tar out of him as he demanded to know where Drusilla was.</p><p>The bloody mess beneath him said nothing and Spike raged out and ripped his head off.</p><p>Then he continued on home. He didn’t feel any better.</p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>The next night, while patrolling, Buffy and Xander came upon a demon in a long black robe cradling a baby. The two of them, as stealthy as possible, tailed the demon and baby down the street. Both Buffy and Xander were adamant that the baby was not going to be sacrificed. </p><p>The two got closer as the demon lead them down the side streets between factories. Suddenly it stopped before a large blank blue wall. The demon banged on the wall with a gloved fist and the two humans watched as the silhouette of a door appeared. </p><p>"Password?" a disembodied voice said.</p><p>"Bergen op zoom," The demon's guttural voice said.</p><p>Xander and Buffy watched the demon carry the infant though the doorway and then the doorway's silhouette dissolved. Nothing remained but a blank blue wall. </p><p>Buffy and Xander looked at one another and then they were running towards the door. Xander was hot on Buffy's heels as they rushed to the blue wall and banged against it. The door's silhouette reappeared. </p><p>"Password?" a voice said.</p><p>"Bergen op zoom?" Buffy said.</p><p>The doorway appeared again and Buffy and Xander looked at one another before they stepped over the threshold. Buffy bounced back out and stared at the flat blue wall. Xander turned around, surprised when the door closed behind him. He tried to find a handle, but there wasn't one. </p><p>Buffy pounded on the flat expanse of the blue wall. She'd been right beside Xander, why had he crossed over but she couldn't? Buffy tried knocking and saying the password again but the wall spat her back out. This time the disembodied voice informed her that there were "Too many girls already," </p><p>Buffy glared at the blue wall as she backed away from it. She looked up at the roof as she tried to figure out a way to scale it to get inside another way.</p><p>In absolute darkness, Xander focused on the light at the end of a hallway. He slowly moved deeper into the unknown and blinked as his eyes adjusted to the large open room he entered. He knew he was in up to his neck. The fact that Buffy wasn't here with him told him he was up shit creek without a paddle.</p><p>He tried to focus and keep his mind on task. The fact was there was a baby in the building. He also knew that he was the only one with any desire to save it.</p><p>He steadied his breathing and looked around. He was in some sort of demon night club. A woman vampire in full game face approached him and groped him. She fondled him through his pants and invaded his space. Xander chuckled nervously and pried her fingers off him. He squeezed between a couple random demons and moved into the center of the room. </p><p>The demonic night club was bumpin' and he could see a plethora of different demons of all kinds under one roof. Xander wondered if he was the only human in the club. Well, besides the baby. </p><p>He moved towards the bar and slapped at the hands and tentacles that reached out to touch him as he passed. Xander felt violated, by the time he got to the bar. He sat down on a bar stool and glanced around. He didn't see the robed demon, or the baby, anywhere. </p><p>A huge slimy earwax colored demon with stubby horns sidled up next to him. Xander inched away and the demon began to aggressively hit on him. </p><p>Xander stood up from his stool to leave when the demon reached for him. He froze when a pale hand with chipped black nail polish gripped the demons wrist.</p><p>Xander glanced back to see Spike standing behind him. He relaxed back into the vampire as Spike stood glaring at the demon opposite him.</p><p>"Oi. Hands off my human," Spike said.</p><p>The vampire tossed the demon’s wrist aside and the demon grumbled and moved off.</p><p>Xander licked his lips. Did Spike really say that? </p><p>Spike pushed Xander back down into his seat and sat down beside him.</p><p>"What are you doin’ here?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander gulped and looked around. He bit his lip to refrain from speaking the truth.</p><p>Spike pursed his lips and looked past Harris. He growled and glared at the demon that sat down in the stool on the other side of him. The demon glared but pushed off. </p><p>Xander opened his mouth to speak but Spike thought it best that he didn't. The vampire moved in and silenced him with a brutal full mouth kiss. When he pulled back, he stared at the human with a smirk. </p><p>Xander squirmed and blushed as he looked around the night club.</p><p>Spike stared at the mortal.</p><p>"Wanna get out of here?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander let out a breath, "Yes,"</p><p>Spike snorted as he stood, "Come on,"</p><p>Xander followed Spike as the vampire led him towards the exit. </p><p>Once he was back in the alley staring at the plain blue expanse of wall, Xander thanked Spike for helping him get out of the club. </p><p>Spike raised an eyebrow and his lips twitched.</p><p>Xander chuckled nervously, "Heh. Right. Skedaddling."</p><p>Xander never looked back after he took off running. </p><p>Suddenly remembered Buffy, Xander slowed to a stop, before turning back around. He saw that Spike was gone as he stared at the blank blue wall. Where was Buffy?</p><p>"Xander!"</p><p>Xander looked up and he gasped in relief. Buffy was on the roof. He watched her sail down to the ground and land in a somersault that propelled her body back to standing.</p><p>Xander was impressed and he said so, "Impressive,"</p><p>Buffy bowed and then smiled, "Right? Giles would be so proud of my tumbling."</p><p>The slayer's grin then disappeared. Concern filled her face as she rushed forwards and looked Xander over, "Are you okay? What happened?"</p><p>Xander glanced at the blue door and shook his head, "Nothing, just went into a demon bar is all."</p><p>Buffy grabbed his arm and linked it with hers, "Well, I'm glad you're okay. They wouldn't let me in. Said there were too many females already."</p><p>Xander thought back to all he'd seen in the club. There were many varied species of demons in there. He couldn't rightly say what any of their sexes would be, though. He dropped the thought as they continued walking and talking. </p><p>Xander didn’t mention meeting Spike in the club. Instead, he talked about how he lost sight of the robed demon and baby right away. All he saw were a ton of different types of demons. </p><p>Buffy decided that their best bet would be informing Giles. Maybe they'd get lucky and he'd have some information about precipitating factors at play regarding child sacrifices. At any rate, they both thought it fortuitous that they now knew about a new demon haunt in town.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Later that night, after patrol, Xander was lying in bed and felt overcome by the sensation that he was being watched. He got up, saw the rain pattering down the windowpanes, and moved towards the stairs.</p><p>He walked out the front door and stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind him. Crossing his arms over his chest, he took a deep breath and catalogued the all too brief scent of the rain. </p><p>He stood there relaxed, watching the light rain fall.</p><p>Xander suddenly gasped as he was pushed up against the door. His hair was wrenched to the side painfully and a vampire lunged forward to bite into his throat. Xander cried out in pain and shock.  </p><p>A second later, Xander recognized his assailant and anger infused him. He tried to push Spike away, not that it did him any good. Xander's hands, rather than push at the vampire, began to grip for purchase as he felt faint from the rapid lost of blood.</p><p>Spike gripped Xander's wrists as he pulled back from the human with a blood-smeared visage.</p><p>"Dammit, Spike," Xander said as he heaved in breath, "You scared the shit out of me!"</p><p>Spike made a point of sniffing the air, "Liar,"</p><p>Xander glared, "Metaphorically," </p><p>Spike shook his head and the planes of his face smoothed out. His brilliant blue eyes bore into the human's.</p><p>Xander glared at the wet vampire as he felt lightheaded, "Did you have to--" </p><p>Spike kissed him then, bloody mouthed and forceful. Xander resisted and kept his lips pressed closed until Spike pulled away.</p><p>"Wha-?" Xander said, but Spike covered his mouth with his hand.</p><p>"Now, pet... Invite your master in."</p><p>Xander's eyes widened as he stared at Spike. He floundered since Spike usually didn't act like this with him. Xander kicked himself for letting his guard down. Why had he left the safety of his home late at night? He knew better.</p><p>Spike could read the fear in the human's eyes and he grinned, "Invite me in. Now."</p><p>Xander and Spike had a staring match for a beat until Spike's grin disappeared and his eyes flashed amber. Xander relented by looking down and away from the vampire before nodding. </p><p>Spike released his hand from Xander’s mouth and stared at the human expectantly.</p><p>Xander took a deep breath before he spoke, "Come in, Spike."</p><p>Spike smirked and moved further into Xander's personal space, "Don't mind if I do."</p><p>He reached around Xander’s hip to turn the doorknob. Xander fell back a step as the door swung open, and then he shifted to the side as Spike moved inside. He closed the door and followed the vampire into the house. </p><p>Spike stood in his parent’s living room, “Your folks gone?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Xander said, “For the week,”</p><p>Xander wandered into the kitchen. He grabbed a jug of juice from the fridge and poured himself a glass. Sitting down at the table, he watched Spike follow him and sit down across from him. Xander stared at his cup of juice and then at the vampire.</p><p>“So... What’s up with the whole ‘master’ bit?” Xander said</p><p>Spike tilted his head, "I need your help. I want you to play a part in a ruse."</p><p>Xander took a sip of his drink, “What do you mean?"</p><p>"I'll need you to go back with me into that demon bar again."</p><p>Xander took another swig of his juice and swallowed, "Why me?"</p><p>"They already let you in," Spike said, “And I’ve marked you,”</p><p>Xander stared at Spike as he continued, "Look. I know you don't rightly know what you walked into back there, but I do. I'm gonna take it down from the inside but I need your help." </p><p>"Why do you need my help?"</p><p>Spike grinned, "Need you to act like my slave."</p><p>Xander choked on air, "Uh, no - big with the hell no to that one."</p><p>Spike snorted, "I'll make you. You've no choice in the matter, but I figured it would be easier if you thought you did."</p><p>Xander drank more of his juice and stared at the jug sitting next to him. He began to pick at the label.</p><p>"You won't die," Spike said, "I'll keep you safe. Just need you to appear enthralled with me in public is all. Demon public, that is."</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire.</p><p>"You do know what kind of club you walked into don't you?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander shrugged, "A demon one?"</p><p>"A slave market."</p><p>Xander gaped at the vampire, "Like human slaves?"</p><p>“Yeah,”</p><p>Spike snagged the whelp's glass and drank a swallow of his juice. </p><p>Xander made to protest and then realized that Spike was wanting him to pretend to be his slave. Slaves didn't complain when their masters took their things. If they even had things... Xander shivered at the thought. He shook his head. “Yeah, I don't think I can do that."</p><p>He knew Spike said he wouldn't get hurt but how did Xander know if Spike was true to his word or not? He was a vampire. Spike didn’t care if he lived or died, did he?</p><p>Xander wondered if Spike was sort of a good guy now. He wondered why the vampire was even motivated to take down the demon club in the first place. A voice in the back of his head told him that he should go along with Spike’s plan, if only as a way to figure out what the vampire was up to.</p><p>"Okay,” Xander said, “Let's say I play along... What’s the plan?"</p><p>Spike shrugged, "Poison, probably. Just need to wipe out the guy in charge. Don’t need to take down the whole club or anything."</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire surprised, "Oh, so you're just going after one guy?"</p><p>Spike squinted at the human, "What's it to you?"</p><p>Xander glared at Spike, "Well, the whole reason I was in there, to begin with, was because I was tailing a demon that brought a friggen baby into the club. The whole club needs to be taken down. One guy is a vengeance gig and I'm not helping with that."</p><p>Spike stared at the human perplexed, "M'not on a vengeance gig,"</p><p>Xander raised his eyebrows in disbelief, "Then, let's take down the whole club. What's one guy?"</p><p>Spike stared at the human, "Look whelp. When the one guy's gone, the rest cease to exist. There is no demon club without this guy. It’s magic."</p><p>"Okay, so how do we find this one guy then?" Xander said.</p><p>"We need to infiltrate the club. That's where you come in. You'll be my little slave that I bring in for show and tell. That way everyone knows that I'm back on my A-game."</p><p>Xander shook his head at himself and then said, "Yeah, okay… I’ll regret this, but... okay."</p><p>Spike grinned, "Let's seal it with a kiss." </p><p>Xander stilled as the vampire pounced on him. Soon, though, he found himself reciprocating. </p><p>Spike smirked against the mortal's mouth and then kissed him again a few more times before completely pulling away.<br/> <br/>Xander slowly opened his eyes to see the vampire gone. He licked his lips and glanced around his parent's living room. He found himself moments later cycling deep breaths and trying to remember why he thought this was a good idea at all.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/> Xander answered the phone, “Hello?”</p><p>“Hey! It’s Buffy.”</p><p>“Oh, heya Buff. What’s up?”</p><p>“I’m heading out for a sweep. You up for it?”</p><p>“Ah-actually, I’m gonna pass. I have work in the morning.”</p><p>“Oh, okay. Well, it was worth a shot.”</p><p>Xander heard the loneliness in her voice and he wanted to keep her on the line.</p><p>“Hey, so, you know that blue club from the other night?” he said.</p><p>“Uh huh,”</p><p>“Spike was there, when I went in. He’s actually the one that got me out. Anyway, he’s got this plan, to take it down from the inside, and I’m gonna help him.”</p><p>When Buffy didn’t say anything, he continued, “I just thought you should know, in case, well- you know.”</p><p>Buffy tried to dissuade him, “Xander, I really don’t think this is a good idea,”</p><p>“I don’t either,” he said, “But Spike said he has a plan and I think it’s worth it to help him with it.”</p><p>Buffy was silent for a beat and then she said, “I guess we have no other way inside right now...” </p><p>“It’s a slave market, Buffy.”</p><p>“What? Really?”</p><p>“Yeah,”</p><p>“Damn. Well, Spike better not let you get hurt,”</p><p>“He’s promised he wont. We’ll go in low profile and only target the head honcho,”</p><p>“Xander,” Buffy sighed.</p><p>He listened to her breath over the receiver. He knew she was thinking furiously.</p><p>“Spike better be true to his word, I swear to god,” she said.</p><p>Xander assured her, "I think he will be."</p><p>"Well, he was before…" Buffy said.</p><p>"What?" Xander said.</p><p>"Oh, I was just thinking back to Acathla... Spike made a deal with me back then and, well, he didn’t renege. So... if I can't convince you how utterly awful this idea is... at least I have a little teeny tiny sliver of hope."</p><p>"I didn't know you and Spike made a deal back then," Xander said.</p><p>"It hardly seemed like the time to toast Spike."</p><p>"Yeah,"</p><p>Xander racked his brain, wondering what sort of deal Buffy and Spike made.</p><p>"Will you let me know if you need anything?" Buffy said.</p><p>"Will do, Buff. You too."</p><p>“Well, I’ll let you go,” Buffy said, “I’m gonna go kill some baddies,”</p><p>“Don’t have too much fun, ya crazy kid,” Xander said.</p><p>Buffy giggled, “Bye,”</p><p>“Ciao for now,”</p><p>Click.</p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Buffy wandered the cemetery, hunting. She’d dusted three vampires already but she was eager for more. She wanted a real fight to help her burn off steam. </p><p>She was irritated that Xander was going off on adventures with Spike. She was frustrated. The worst part was that she didn’t know if she was just out of sorts because she was was worried about Xander, or if it was because she was actually jealous.</p><p>Buffy fell forward from a surprise shove. The back of her head stung and she saw stars. Something had hit her in the back of the head. </p><p>She rolled out of her fall and got to her feet, bringing her fists up as she looked around. She shook the pain away and opened her mouth to speak but clamped her mouth into a thin line as she stood staring at Jamie.</p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Buffy wiped her tears away from her face as she banged on her Watcher's door. The lights were on, so she knew it wasn't too late. She sniffled.</p><p>Giles opened the wooden door with a frown, "Buffy? What is it? What's happened?"</p><p>Buffy wiped her face with her sleeve and moved inside the condo. She saw Willow stand up from her spot on the couch and Buffy rushed forward into her best friends' arms. She sobbed and buried her face in Willow’s shoulder. After a minute, she pulled herself together again and pulled back. </p><p>Giles lifted the tissue box up close to her and Buffy reached out for some. She wiped her face and blew her nose. She cleared her throat and swallowed as she looked back and forth between Willow and Giles.</p><p>"I- I just just killed Jamie," Buffy said.</p><p>"What?" Willow said.</p><p>"Really?" Giles said.</p><p>Buffy took a deep breath and she nodded.</p><p>"In the park... I was out patrolling and he attacked me,"</p><p>Willow moved closer to Buffy and grabbed her hand. Buffy squeezed the welcome hand and then stared hard at Giles, “I killed a human, Giles,”</p><p>“What happened?” he said.</p><p>Tears streamed down the slayer's cheeks and she reached out to grab more tissue.</p><p>“I-I killed him. I broke his neck,” Buffy said.</p><p> She wiped her face and blew her nose again. She turned back to her friends with a hard look on her face. "So, he's dead now,”</p><p>Silence swallowed the room and Willow shifted, "Did- Do you want me to walk you home?"</p><p>Buffy looked at her friend and bit her lip. She nodded. Fresh tears fell out of her eyes, "Yeah. Thanks. I really don't feel like being alone right now."</p><p>"Of course," Willow said, "Let me pack up real quick and then we’ll head out."</p><p>The redhead stood up and started to stuff her laptop and research into her bag. </p><p>Giles took the opportunity to move closer to Buffy. He offered her a hug. The slayer held onto her watcher tightly and then let go with a grateful smile.</p><p>"I feel like most slayer's don't have to keep killing their ex-boyfriends," she said.</p><p>"Yes, well," Giles said, "You’re no ordinary Slayer, Buffy." </p><p>Buffy stared up at Giles and tried to give him a sad smile. He returned it with one of his own and the two of them separated as Willow appeared at Buffy’s side ready to go.</p><p>"Meeting tomorrow?" Buffy said.</p><p>Giles nodded.</p><p>"Okay,"</p><p>Buffy turned to Willow and the two of them moved out of the condo and into the night.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Jamie waited until Buffy was gone before he stood up and cracked his neck. He winced as the tubes in his throat rolled over one another to reorient themselves. He dusted himself off and looked around before heading home.</p><p>While walking, he reached into his pocket and withdrew the glass Fugazi sphere. Seeing it unbroken, he relaxed, relieved, and put it back in his pocket. He needed to heal Drusilla. He thought about his plans as he made his way home.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>The second time in the club, Xander realized that he felt much safer next to Spike. It was a nice feeling after being approached and groped previously. </p><p>The club was dim with black lights and laser lights swirling everywhere. It was a whole different vibe then the last time Xander had been in. </p><p>He followed Spike's lead as they took a survey of the amenities. </p><p>Xander finally commit fully to Spike's cause, when they walked through a large dark door in the back. The human gulped and clenched his teeth to keep his mouth closed as his eyes took in the debauchery. </p><p>The room they entered was massive and filled with furniture. The lights were low and there were demons sprawled everywhere fucking, drinking or dancing. Xander saw one demon sitting off to the side that looked like a heavyset Michael Jackson. He was eating and Xander gagged and turned his head away when he saw the demon bite into a bloody human foot. It was still in the shoe and the ankle looked like loose hamburger. </p><p>Xander crowded closer to Spike and tried to keep his eyes averted from the fat Michael Jackson. </p><p>Spike looked Xander over, as he crept closer, and he reached down and clasped his hand. While they entwined fingers, Xander glanced up at Spike. He saw a flash of fat Michael Jackson take another fleshy bite in his mind and he swallowed. He felt like he was going to vomit. He kept his eyes glued to the vampire. </p><p>Spike pulled the human with him as he moved further into the depths of the den of debauchery. There was another large dark door at the other end and Spike moved Xander through the throngs of demons toward it. </p><p>The vampire watched money being exchanged between two men in front of the large door and then on of the men disappeared through the door.</p><p>Spike stopped in front of the lone man. He was heavyset standing in a grey suit. The man in grey tilted his head and scanned Spike and then Xander. He looked back at Spike. "Entry is $10K"</p><p>Spike looked around, "Don't see a bank machine, mate."</p><p>The man in grey nodded, "I do take IOU's, but there’s a death clause. If you don't pay me within three days, you die."</p><p>Spike swallowed, "Right, I'll bring it in for ya tomorrow, then. Ya?"</p><p>The man in grey smiled and stuck out his hand. Spike took it to shake and then pulled his hand away as he felt a tingle of magic creep up his wrist. Before he could say anything, the man in grey gestured to the door. </p><p>Spike made a mental note to bring the money back to the club tomorrow since he knew the Stelle affected his magical defense. He figured he would most certainly die, if he didn’t pay up.</p><p>Xander couldn't contain his curiosity as they approached the door. Spike shifted in front of him, pulled the door open, and entered. Xander trailed behind him and peeked around the vampire’s shoulder.</p><p>The room was dimly lit. There was a circular stage in the center of the room surrounded by wooden chairs fanned out in several circles. There were a lot of chairs, some already sparsely filled. Spike moved to sit on a chair in the outer circle. He pulled Xander down beside him.</p><p>Xander noticed the music playing in the room was different then the music playing in the rest of the club. He looked around at the assortment of demons in the room. Many of them appeared human. More of them poured in through the dark door and took their seats in the circle of chairs. </p><p>Xander started to bounce his leg in boredom and Spike set his hand down on his thigh. Xander stilled as he stared at the vampire's hand. He glanced up at Spike and then back down. He reached out and laced their fingers together, his heart racing in his chest as he did it.</p><p>The room was filling up and the multitude of demons moving around to find seats created a din.</p><p>Spike felt Harris's warm hand entwine with his own and he glanced at the nervous mortal. He gave the hand clasped in his a slight squeeze and stared into the human’s eyes. Spike’s mouth curved into a smirk and before he knew it Xander was shifting closer to lean in and kiss him. </p><p>Spike returned the kiss, enthralled. Harris was currently reminding him of Xander from the other world.</p><p>They kissed until the human shifted away for breath. Spike gave the mortal a second and then he moved in again. The two continued to kiss as the room continued filling up.</p><p>The music petered out and a speaker crackled to life.</p><p>Spike grinned as he pulled away from the flushed human. He turned his attention back to the stage to listen and watch the show. While staring at the circular stage, all he could focus on was Xander’s heavy breathing as he sat back in his chair. The cacophony of miscellaneous chatter quieted as an invisible voice drone on about rules. </p><p>Xander grew bored, staring at the empty circular stage, and glanced down at the hand holding his. With his free hand he started twisting the vampire's rings around on his fingers so he could look at them. </p><p>Xander jumped in his skin as the plethora of demons surrounding them started shouting. He looked up to see what everyone was hollering and clapping about. Spike appeared unbothered, continuing to stare at the stage. Xander straightened up and shifted to see between the large demons sitting in front of him. </p><p>On the circle stage sat a gangly teenage boy. He was shivering. The boys clothes were torn, and he was covered in dirt. His glassy, red eyes scanned the audience in fear. </p><p>It was at that moment Xander realized that they were at a slave auction. He glanced around and saw all the auction paddles raised in bidding. He gulped and turned to Spike to see if he had a paddle.</p><p>Spike glanced at him. He gave Harris a squinted look, before reverting his attention to the stage. </p><p>Xander swallowed and looked down. He bit his lip. He couldn't watch whatever happened. He knew he couldn't handle seeing it. And if he freaked out now, he'd give up their plan immediately. </p><p>He kept his head down and bit his lip as he forced his attention back on Spike's hand in his own. He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of it holding it, while he told himself to ignore everything that he saw tonight. He was in a demonic night club. There was nothing that he could do about anything that was happening here tonight.</p><p>Spike was after the owner of the club, the real big bad, and that was how to stop the club from existing. Xander told himself to keep his mouth shut at all costs. He knew that if they saved this one kid tonight then they wouldn’t be able to save the young kid that would be put up on the stage for auction tomorrow night. </p><p>Or the next newborn baby. Xander’s heart sped up as he thought of the tiny baby up on the circular stage. He felt like he was going to be sick.</p><p>Spike kissed him unexpectedly and Xander froze. He then turned his body towards the vampire to return the kiss. His eyes opened in shock and he reached out to grab onto Spike as he he was lifted and placed in the vampire's lap. </p><p>Xander wriggled, once situated. He was unsure of his new position. His hands gripped the vampire’s leather covered biceps.</p><p>Xander closed his eyes as his mouth was caught up in another kiss. He shivered as one of Spike's cool hand slid up the back of his shirt and the other pulled him closer by the neck. </p><p>Xander found it hard to focus on anything but returning the vampire’s kiss. </p><p>With their mouths fused together, Xander found it hard to breath, and Spike wasn’t letting him move his head. He nearly panicked until he reminded himself that this was a show. This wasn’t Spike and Xander’s secret not talked about kisses, this was acting. This was Xander acting like Spike’s slave. His heart skipped a beat as he envisioned himself up on the stage instead of the teen boy. He couldn’t even imagine it.</p><p>Spike caressed the human's back, as he kissed the breath out of him. He'd noticed Xander’s purposeful ignorance to the auction and he knew that human wanted to figure out a way to stop what was happening. He was proud of Xander’s restraint.</p><p>Spike knew he needed to keep an eye on the auction, but he also realized that he didn't need to watch them all. He figured he could draw the human's attention away from the situation. Not for nothing, he also knew that there were other demons watching the two of them keenly. Spike knew why, he hadn't been in demon society for a long while and here he sat with the Slayer's known lapdog.</p><p>Xander forgot about the mission as Spike passionately made out with him. He pulled back for breath, when Spike allowed it, and then tilted his head as the vampire kissed over his jaw and down his neck to mouth at the scar. </p><p>Xander sighed and closed his eyes, offering his throat. He bit his lip and then closed his eyes as Spike sucked on the claim mark. His claim mark. Their claim mark. Xander felt a thrill pulse run through him and sighed as he shifted his arms around the vampire. </p><p>Every single time Spike bit him it was on that side. He didn't deviate. The new scars always overlapped the old, which Xander was thankful for. He didn't want to have to explain every new bite wound. </p><p>Xander relaxed as Spike slid his hands into his hair. Then he jumped as a loud crack filled the room.</p><p>Spike chuckled as Xander sat up and whipped his head around to look for the source of the noise. He saw nothing amiss and then returned his gaze to the vampire. Spike’s blue eyes bore into him and Xander closed his eyes and fell forwards to kiss him again.</p><p>Spike kissed him once and then tugged the human close to him in a hug. Xander wrapped his arms around Spike and put his chin on the vampire’s leather clad shoulder. </p><p>Spike scanned the stage as the next auction was brought out. Seeing something familiar about the human for sale he continued to watch, pondering, as he lightly scratched the human's back. </p><p>Xander opened his eyes and saw a pair of demons standing up against the wall behind where they sat. He saw them staring at him and he closed his eyes again and adjusted his head on Spike's shoulder. He affirmed to himself that, though the positioning was awkward, he was glad that he didn't have to physically face the auction. He moved his hands inside the vampire's leather duster and slid them up the sides of the vampire's shirt.</p><p>Spike straightened as Xander's warm hands grazed his sides.</p><p>Xander sat up and glanced around again, looking for a threat, but saw nothing. He glanced up at the stage and saw a middle-aged woman being auctioned off. He bit his lip and moved to lay his head back down on Spike’s shoulder. </p><p>The vampire intercepted him and cupped his chin in his hand. He pulled his face close for another kiss. </p><p>The next time Xander pulled back for breath, he leaned his forehead against Spike's. The two stared at each other. Xander felt like he wanted to kiss Spike forever. He stared into the vampire's blue eyes and blushed as he thought about what was happening between the two of them. He looked down at Spike's black tee-shirt, and saw his hands underneath the fabric.</p><p>Spike was looking over his shoulder when Xander looked up again. The vampire's blue eyes snapped to his once he moved his head. </p><p>Xander stared into the vampire’s impossibly blue eyes. The two stared at one another as the chaotic noise started up for the bidding process. Xander moved to lay his head back down on the vampire's shoulder. There was so much he wanted to say but he couldn’t. He didn’t trust himself to open his mouth.</p><p>Spike could smell the pheromones pouring off of the mortal. He was equally parts randy for him and terrified of being in the club. It made Spike ecstatic. He stared up at the stage, lost in his head. The human was a fantastic kisser. Just as Spike remembered him to be in the other reality. When Harris kissed him, Spike was almost convinced that maybe the human could love and adore him like he did in the other world.</p><p>Spike kissed the side of Xander's head as the gavel cracked once again and made the human jump. He held the human close as the next auction appeared. Spike scanned the offer and then moved Xander's head so he could have another kiss.</p><p>The vampire was surprised as the human gave himself over to the kiss fully. Spike felt himself hardening in his trousers as the Xander rocked against him. Spike forgot everything but the taste, sight, smell, sound and touch of the human undulating in his lap as they made out.</p><p>When Harris pulled back for breath, Spike realized he was losing himself. He’d forgot why he was in the club to begin with. All he really wanted was the mortal in his lap. Spike pulled back and licked his lips before he pulled Xander close and hugged him to his chest again.</p><p>Xander shifted his head to rest on Spike's shoulder again. He found he liked being held against the vampire. At first it had been weird and unusual, but he was starting to grow more comfortable.</p><p>Spike reached out and shook a demon's hand and Xander's eye's blinked open. He sat frozen where he was and listened as Spike introduced himself in a different language. Xander heard a demonic gurgling from behind him and he closed his eyes and told himself to remain calm. </p><p>After a moment, Spike resumed carding his fingers through Xander’s hair and Xander turned his head into Spike's neck. He blinked his eyes open as he realized that he already knew what Spike smelled like. Xander closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he let it out. Spike rhythmically rubbed his back and Xander soon fell asleep from boredom.</p><p>Spike, on the other hand, learned that the boss of the club wasn't in tonight from a Vespera demon that happened to get slime all over him and Harris. Thankfully, the night wasn't a total bust, as a vampire friend of Avery introduced himself and said he was looking for work. Spike planned to come back the next night with some Stelle for him to sell, while he paid off his $10,000 debt.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>When Xander woke up, he didn't immediately know where he was. He saw his posters on the wall and realized he was at home as he stretched and yawned. Then he realized he was nude. Not only that, he was in bed with an equally naked Spike. </p><p>Xander looked around panicked. He was in his basement. He scrambled out of the bed and his foot tangled in the sheets and he freaked out and fell over out of the bed onto the floor. </p><p>Wincing, he rose. Eyes comically wide, Xander looked at Spike to make sure he wasn’t awake. When he didn’t move, Xander scrambled around looking for clothes. He saw a laundry basket of clean clothes and he riffled through it to pull out some clothes before rushing to the bathroom. </p><p>Xander dropped his clothes to the floor and sat down on the toilet seat to pee. He tucked himself into the bowl, and rested his elbows on his knees as he put his head in his hands. </p><p>He sighed as he mentally freaked out. He wondered what the fuck happened last night. The last thing he knew, Spike was talking to some random demon that he couldn't understand. He guessed after that he’d fallen asleep, but how did he end up naked? And why was Spike naked? Did they fuck? Did Spike...?</p><p>Xander lifted his head and stood up. He glanced at himself in the mirror. He didn't have a mark on him. He clenched his bum cheeks. He didn't feel like he'd had a dick in his ass. </p><p>Xander let out a breath and calmed down. They hadn't had sex. He was home. Spike brought him home. Xander brushed his teeth as he wondered why Spike took their clothes off. </p><p>Xander flushed the toilet, washed his hands and his face and then dressed before wandering back downstairs to peek at Spike. He was still naked and sprawled out over the bed sleeping.</p><p>Xander crept closer to the vampire, picked up the fallen blanket and was just about to toss it over the vampire when he paused. Xander swallowed as he stared at Spike's nude form, taking it all in. The vampire looked like an alabaster Adonis statue.</p><p>Xander shook himself, figuring he looked like a serial killer stalking prey. He raised the blanket and draped it over the sleeping demon.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Buffy entered the main room of the mansion and saw the group was all together. Giles, Xander and Willow sat around the research table with Angel and Faith. No one was talking. </p><p>Sensing she’d walked in on something, Buffy slowed to a stop in the entrance. Everyone turned to look at her as one.</p><p>She felt uncomfortable, “What?”</p><p>Giles stood up and stared at Buffy, “You haven’t seen the news then?”</p><p>Buffy shook her head and glanced around at everyone's stricken faces. “What, what is it? You’re freaking me out, Giles.”</p><p>“I apologize. Let me get straight to the point...” </p><p>Buffy waited with bated breath, while Giles took a deep breath.</p><p>“The police uncovered a depository of human remains on the Caledonia land. There were several bodies dug up from the bottom of the pond... All of them children.”</p><p>Buffy stared at Giles as she felt her face start to break out in a sweat. She felt cold and hot at the same time. She continued to stare at Giles as she thought about Jamie drowning her in that awful pond. Several children lost there lives because of Jamie. Buffy felt like she was going to be sick.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Giles said.</p><p>Buffy nodded and started to back up. Angel stood from his seat and Buffy shook her head and said, “I’m fine.”</p><p>She turned and made her way to the bathroom as quick as she could. She threw open the door and rushed to kneel before the toilet to throw up.</p><p>As Buffy emptied her stomach, she realized there was someone standing behind her. The person reached forward to flush the toilet and then grabbed her hair as it began to fall into the toilet. Buffy stared at the dark hand, encased in fingerless gloves, and panicked. Her first thought was that Jamie was behind her. She whipped around and gaped up at a tall black man wearing a durag on his head. Buffy turned back to the bowl to retch as she wondered who the man was. </p><p>Gunn stood shocked, with his hands on his zipper, as the door burst in. He’d just finished peeing and tucking himself away. He hadn’t even flushed yet, when the blond rushed in to puke in front of him. </p><p>Feeling guilty for the acrid smell, he reached forward to flush the toilet. As he stepped back, he reached out to grab the blonde’s hair as he saw it falling into the toilet. Feeling at odds with himself, Gunn stood half hunched over the girl holding her hair up. The blond turned to look at him in a state of fright before she turned back to the toilet to empty her stomach. Gunn, unsure what to do, started to rub her back awkwardly.</p><p>Gunn let go of Buffy's hair and stepped back as the blond raised her head. Buffy spit and flushed the toilet again. Gun shifted to grab a rag off the counter. He wet it with cold water, rung it out and offered it to Buffy. Then, he sat down on the side of the bathtub, when she took it.</p><p>The two of them stared at one another as Buffy wiped her sweaty face down and wrapped the cool cloth around the back of her neck. </p><p>“I’m Gunn... I’m guessing you’re Buffy?”</p><p>Buffy nodded as she shakily stood up. She moved to the sink, rinsed her mouth out with water from the tap, and then turned back to Gunn. “Yeah, I am... Thanks.”</p><p>Gun nodded, “You alright?’</p><p>Buffy shrugged, “I will be,”</p><p>“Guess you heard about all the dead kids...”</p><p>Buffy nodded and silence descended between them.</p><p>“So, how long have you known Angel?” she said.</p><p>Gunn smiled, “Long enough to know not to tell you anything,”</p><p>“What?” Buffy gaped, “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Oh, come on,” Gunn said, “I know all about your guy's forbidden love. I ain’t gettin’ involved in any of that.”</p><p>Buffy smiled, “Thanks... for your honesty.”</p><p>“It’s what I do,”</p><p>Gunn got to his feet and nodded before he left the bathroom to rejoin the group. Buffy turned to look in the mirror, and saw she was pale. She splashed cool water on her face and took her time to come to terms with the fact that another one of her ex boyfriend’s was a serial killer.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Jamie held the Fugazi sphere in his hands and grinned. It was time. </p><p>He’d brought Drusilla to his parents old house, as the police were swarming the old farm house. It was no matter, his parents had a lot of property in Sunnydale.</p><p>Jamie stared at Drusilla laying on the atrium floor. He’d thrown her down in the center of the floor and stood staring at her and the woman chained to the column behind her. Jamie realized that he was living the vision his tarot reading depicted earlier. He was going to be successful with two spells. </p><p>He glanced around at the five columns installed in a large circle. He smirked as he stared at the naked witch strapped to the pillar opposite him. Jamie prepared his first spell.</p><p>While he worked on the spell to fix Drusilla, Jamie stood over the vampire and held the Fugazi sphere over her prone corpse.</p><p>For the finale of the spell, Jamie smashed the orb into the stone column next to him and a red light lurched out of the orb, through the air, and towards Drusilla. Jamie closed his eyes, focusing on his own hands, and spoke the incantation.</p><p>"Carō iubeō. Instrumenta creō. Corpus sānum creō."</p><p>Afterwards, he clenched his hands into fists and focused on them. When he opened his eyes he saw that the spell worked. Drusilla once again had hands. He smirked as he stared at them.</p><p>Drusilla looked down at her new hands. They were her hands, exactly as they’d been before, but now they were stained red. Drusilla turned them over and over, looking at them. She noticed a brand on the outside of each of them. A cross. She wondered why it didn’t burn her. She fiddled with her fingers, in awe. She’d missed her hands ardently.</p><p>Jamie stepped over Drusilla and pulled out a knife. He stepped up to the naked witch strapped to the column before him and he wrestled with her to get a hold of her tongue.</p><p>Drusilla looked up to watch the vivisection.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Hallucinations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>"Are you sure Buffy's okay with us doing this without her?" Xander asked.</p><p>He lifted the small cup of Stelle tea and sniffed it. He looked at it dubiously as he inspected it.</p><p>Willow heard the nerves in her friends voice and she glanced at him. She then looked back at her mug and focused on pouring the Stelle tea into it before setting the teapot down.</p><p>"Yup. Buffy’s not interested. So it's just us two,"</p><p>Xander nodded, “Where is she, anyway?"</p><p>"Where do you think?”</p><p>“Patrol?”</p><p>Willow nodded and lifted her cup, “I've magically cooled it down. You ready?"</p><p>Xander stared at Willow and bit his lip. He forced a fake grin, "Yep... So, how long does this last again?"</p><p>Willow shrugged, "A few hours, maybe. It shouldn't be too strong.”</p><p>Xander stared down into the burgundy liquid and lifted his eyes to his friend. He lifted his teacup to clink it against Willow's.</p><p>"Bottoms up,” he said.</p><p>Willow grinned and drank down her Stelle tea. Xander followed suit and then stood staring at her. He still didn't understand how he’d come to let Willow convince him to do this. </p><p>They each set their empty cups down on the bedside table and shared a smile. Xander was about to ask when the tea would kick in when he felt unsteady on his feet. He stumbled backwards a few steps and sat down on the edge of Buffy's bed. He laid back on it and stared up at the ceiling. He felt hot.</p><p>Seconds later, Xander was supine like a corpse. Breathing shallowly with his eyes open and unseeing. Willow appeared the same on the bed opposite him. The two of them were no longer within the room; instead, they were exploring within their own minds.</p><p><br/>* * * </p><p><br/>Willow woke up first. She rolled over to look at Xander and stared at him as she waited for him to come out of his trance. She thought over her own Stelle induced vision and felt peaceful. She couldn't believe how fortunate she was to have a solid source of Stelle. She still wondered how Spike got his hands on it. </p><p>Willow lay sedated and smiling in a dreamy haze as she waited for Xander to come to.</p><p>Xander blinked back to consciousness and found water on his face. He reached a hand up to wipe away tear tracks from his cheeks as he wondered why he was crying. He turned his head to look for Willow.</p><p>"Hey you," she said.</p><p>Xander stared at his friend as his brain assimilated his recent hallucination. He’d been standing outside of a lake, on the shore. There was a wooden cabin in the distance and someone was with him. Some man. </p><p>"Hey," Xander cleared his groggy throat and tried again, "I saw a man."</p><p>Willow looked at him, surprised, "A man?"</p><p>"Yeah, there was this dude talking to me beside a lake...”</p><p>Willow stayed silent and waited for Xander to continue.</p><p>“I couldn't see his face, but he told me that he was disappointed in me."</p><p>Willow grew concerned as she slowly pushed herself to sit up, "What?"</p><p>Xander lifted his hands to rub over his face, "He told me that my body was the greatest gift I've ever been given, and that I wasn't taking good care of it... That I was wasting my gift..."</p><p>Willow stared at Xander as a smile quirked her lips, "Interesting,"</p><p>“Tell me about it,” Xander sighed, “It was all so vivid. I feel like I should paint it... The scenery in the dream was exquisit... Holy shit...”</p><p>Willow watched as Xander slowly moved to sit up. He turned to look at her while rubbing the back of his neck. The two stared at one another in a lackadaisical loll and then Xander looked pointedly at Willow and asked, "What did you dream about?"</p><p>Willow blushed bright red as memories of her vision flashed through her mind. She’d experienced an erotic dream and she shook her head, "I don’t want to say. It's personal."</p><p>The two humans jumped in fright as the dorm room door swung open and hit the doorstop. Spike stood in the hallway squinting at the two of them. "Where's the Slayer?"</p><p>Dumb and subdued from the Stelle, the two humans shrugged.</p><p>Spike looked between the two of them and smelled the cloying perfume of the Stelle. His eye’s sought out the tea pot and he turned back to the witch, "Are you two stoned?"</p><p>Willow giggled and nodded.</p><p>Spike scanned Xander and his posture deflated as he stood in the doorway. The vampire pursed his lips as he realized that he wouldn't be able to drink from Harris for a while. </p><p>“Right,” Spike said, as he stared at the two mortals, "I'll leave you two faffing about."</p><p>Then the vampire was gone and the door was closed. </p><p>Xander and Willow stared at one another and blinked. Xander mouthed the word "faffing" to her and Willow fell back onto her bed in a fit of giggles.<br/> </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike found Buffy patrolling the graveyard. He walked alongside her until she turned to look at him, "What do you want, Spike?"</p><p>The vampire shrugged, "Heard there's a mess of Zombies around 2nd street. Up for it?"</p><p>Buffy stopped walking, looked at Spike, and then glanced towards 2nd street.</p><p>“Go home,” she said.</p><p>Buffy turned without saying anything more and started towards the zombies on 2nd street.</p><p>Spike squinted after the slayer as he watched her walk away. He then shrugged and started home. He had work he’d rather do, anyway.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Three days later, after getting full nights of sleep, Xander still felt hung over and drowsy. Willow told him it was normal as his body was getting used to the Stelle.<br/> <br/>Xander dragged his ass through his shift at the Double Meat Palace and then wandered over to the Stelle house afterwards as usual. </p><p>The house was quiet when he let himself in and Xander assumed the vampire was asleep. Spike didn’t usually get up until just before sunrise.</p><p>Xander entered the kitchen and attached the hose to the faucet. He turned on the tap and swung around to get to work on the watering. He jumped and shrieked, as he caught sight of Spike lurking behind him.</p><p>The vampire winced, “It’s too early for screaming,”</p><p>"Shit, you scared me,” Xander said, “You need a bell."</p><p>Spike snorted, "Not gonna happen."</p><p>Xander grinned as the vampire stepped further into the kitchen. Spike grabbed a mug from the cupboard and Xander watched him pour a blood bag from the fridge into it. It was then that Xander noticed the new microwave. He blinked. That wasn't there yesterday.</p><p>Spike nuked his mug of blood, while Xander watched confused.</p><p>Xander hadn't seen Spike drink blood from a mug since he'd gotten his chip out. Speaking of which, ever since he'd had his chip out, Xander fed Spike a lot. Oddly though, Spike wasn't drinking from him at all lately. Xander wondered why. What would make Spike suddenly prefer blood bags to fresh from the source? </p><p>Not that Xander wanted to be the vampire's blood bag, but usually when Spike drank from his throat there was also extreme heavy petting which Xander thoroughly enjoyed. </p><p>He’d hoped Spike would continue the heavy petting from the club the other night, but the vampire hadn't kissed him or touched him since they’d returned. It seemed there was an invisible force field between them that Spike no longer crossed. Sure, there were still prolonged looks between them, that Xander thought were for sure were segues for kisses, but nothing ever happened. It was starting to bum him out. </p><p>Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Xander remembered wanting to ask the vampire something.</p><p>"Spike?"</p><p>Spike stared at him over the rim of his mug, lifting an eyebrow.</p><p>"Can you teach me to fight?" Xander said.</p><p>Something moved within the vampire's chest. He lowered his mug and licked his lips as he squinted at the human, "'Yeah, alright."</p><p>Xander's face lit up with a smile.</p><p>Spike tilted his head as he stared at the human, forgetting the blood in his mug.</p><p>Xander looked down at the hose in his hand, "I, uh, I should start-"</p><p>"Wait," Spike said.</p><p>Xander paused.</p><p>"I've got a truck full of Stelle that needs a daylight delivery to Oxnard. Can you help me out?"</p><p>“When?” Xander thought about it, "I have work,"</p><p>Spike shrugged, "I can change it to a weekend drop."</p><p>“Is there pay?”</p><p>Spike snorted and finished the rest of his blood, not answering. </p><p>Xander watched Spike move across the room to rinse out his mug in the sink. He grinned as he stared at the vampire and then he spun around and left the kitchen.</p><p>He pulled the hose behind him, the smile not leaving his face, and he crawled around the plants to water them. He wasn't worried by Spike’s non answer about pay. The vampire was very good to him financially. Spike never actively paid him, but Xander often found money stuffed into his pockets or even his wallet.</p><p>The mortal moved around the vampire’s house, ecstatic. He was stoked to be making money. He’d already started looking for new rentals to call home and any money would help his cause. He couldn't wait to get out of the basement. </p><p>Xander continued to water the plants as he heard Spike clomp up the stairwell.</p><p>“Heya Spike?”</p><p>“Yeah, pet?” was the disembodied answer.</p><p>Xander bit his lip, “I’ll do it,”</p><p>“That’s great, Xan,” Spike said.</p><p>Xander paused stationary on all fours under the canopy of glowing plants and gulped. Gods, what it did to him when Spike called him pet; But it was something else, all together, when the vampire called him by his name. </p><p>Something warm stoked within him and Xander took a deep breath, licked his lips, and got back to work watering the Stelle.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>When the weekend came around, Xander stood outside of the Stelle house looking up at the 16-foot cube van. Spike was inside the house behind him, shaded from the sun. They’d just spoke.</p><p>Xander showed up five minutes earlier and entered the Stelle house to get the truck keys and instructions on where to make the Stelle drop for Spike. The truck was preloaded and all Xander had to do was make a delivery, collect the cash and then return the truck and keys back to the rental shop in Sunnydale afterwards.</p><p>Xander agreed, thinking everything would be easy-peasy. He was about to exit the house when Spike grabbed hold of his arm and spun him around. The vampire pressed him up against the door and gave him a magnificent prolonged kiss. </p><p>Xander grinned into the vampire’s mouth, happily surprised. </p><p>They spent several moments pressed up against the door gasping into each others mouths until Spike finally pulled away. He rested his forehead against the mortal’s. They stared into each other’s eyes. </p><p>Spike kissed Xander’s mouth again, then his jaw, then his neck.</p><p>Xander sucked in air as Spike mouthed over his mark. He tilted his neck and braced for the bite. He needed this. He’d been waiting for it. Craving it. Xander sighed dejectedly as Spike lightly bit down on his mark but didn’t break the skin. He shifted his hands up to grip Spike’s biceps as the vampire continued to nuzzle his throat. </p><p>Xander heard Spike’s whispered "Be careful" against his ear before he pulled back an inch to stare at him. </p><p>Xander returned the look, breathing deeply, "I will,"</p><p>Spike licked his lips, "Best get going then,"</p><p>Xander nodded but didn't move. Spike still had him pressed to the door. He didn't mind one bit. </p><p>The two stared at one another until Spike stepped back and stuffed his hands into his back pockets. </p><p>Xander licked his lips, not wanting to look away. He reached behind himself to twist the door handle. His feet moved him backwards through the door. And once he shut the door between them, only then was he able to think. </p><p>Xander blinked up at the truck and then glanced back at the house. He shook his head at himself and moved to unlock the cube van and climb inside. Xander adjusted the mirrors after he turned over the motor. He sat there, as the truck idled, unable to stop thinking about the kiss.</p><p>Spike hadn’t touched him in a week. Xander was ecstatic with these new developments.</p><p>He glanced to the side and saw a map laying on the passenger seat. Ignoring it, since he knew where he was headed, Xander pulled the truck into gear and was on his way. He glanced back at the Stelle house in the rear view mirror before he headed down the street and out of Sunnydale.</p><p>Xander found a country radio station that came in loud and clear and turned it up as he drove down the highway with the windows down. He enjoyed the drive. It took about an hour until he entered Oxnard. He pulled over to find the address Spike gave him. </p><p>Xander stared down at the note in his hand and analyzed the ornate handwriting. He recalled finding one of Spike's poems written in the same script. He looked up and glanced around for a landmark. He saw a McDonald's and decided to go through the drive-thru. He’d ask for directions while he ordered breakfast.</p><p>Xander ate as he drove the truck to the address. He backed the truck in, at the insistence of the three burly guys hanging around on the front of the property. Then got out of the truck to help unload the back of the truck with the three men. They made short work of it and afterwards, Xander was handed a large wad of cash and told to get on his way.</p><p>He jumped back into the truck and drove back to Sunnydale. </p><p>When he entered town he stopped at the rest stop to count the wad of cash. Xander counted it again, when he saw how much he was holding. He’d never held so much money in his life. </p><p>Blinking in disbelief at the paper bills, Xander stuffed the wad of cash into his pants pocket before pulling back onto the road.</p><p>He dropped the truck and keys off at the rental shop and then didn't know what to do with himself. He felt weird having so much money on his person.</p><p>The sun was shining and there was a refreshing breeze whipping around him. Xander stood there listening to the birds chirping in the trees while he contemplated. He knew that he wanted to do. He wanted to go back to the Stelle house and crawl into bed with Spike. </p><p>Xander didn't know what was going on between himself and the vampire. They kissed sometimes, but other than that… Xander didn't know what was happening. It was like a weird, tense stale mate.</p><p>Today had been the first kiss between them all week. Xander often wondered if he was eventually going to have a vampire boyfriend in the end. Or, maybe he was just a vampire whore, like Faith said. Xander was unsure. He hoped for the former.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander told himself that he was entering the Stelle house so he could give Spike his money; but he knew the actual reason he was there was because Spike kissed him earlier. The two of them hadn't touched each other in the last week and the kiss rekindled the fire burning deep within him. He wanted more.</p><p>Unlocking the door and letting himself inside, Xander took off his shoes and locked the door. He walked through the dim foyer towards the stairs and quietly moved up them towards Spike’s room. Xander licked his lips as he pushed open the bedroom door to peer inside. </p><p>Spike’s head peaked out of the blankets, as he rest against the pillow.</p><p>Xander stepped into the room and froze in mid-step as the vampire’s amber eyes blinked open to stare at him. He swallowed and stared at the demon. He thought maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.</p><p>Spike closed his eyes and rubbed his face into the pillow as his demonic guise dissolved. He lifted the covers in invitation.</p><p>Xander stared at the smooth planes of the vampire’s face and then moved closer to take Spike up on the offer. He crawled into the bed and Spike draped the covers over him. </p><p>Spike wrapped his arms around Xander’s waist and pulled him closer. Their mouths met in a kiss and the two melted into each other.</p><p>Xander hummed happily, this was exactly why he’d come.</p><p>The two shared sleepy kisses until Spike fell back asleep pressed against him. Xander lay awake, happy and sedated until he eventually dozed off for a siesta. </p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Later that night, Spike woke Xander up by drinking from him. Xander groaned happily as he wrapped his limbs around the vampire. Spike lay above him, latched at his throat, and Xander bit his lip as his erection grew. It had been so long since they'd done this, he'd almost forgot how good it felt. </p><p>He pressed himself up into the vampire above him, embarrassed by how heady the experience was. </p><p>Spike shifted against him and Xander rocked along with him. He clutched the back of the vampire’s neck, encouraging him.</p><p>Spike gulped back the untainted blood greedily and ground his pelvis into the mortal. He moaned and continued to suck the human’s blood as the two of them started moving against each other. </p><p>They ground their erections together seeking release through friction. </p><p>The house was silent, save for Xander’s labored breathing and the sound of their clothes rubbing against each other. Xander could hear Spike swallowing his blood and before he knew it he was coming in his pants.</p><p>Overcome with sensation, he pulled the vampire from his throat and smashed their faces together for a passionate sucking kiss. </p><p>Spike devoured the human’s mouth and stiffened against him as he came in his jeans. </p><p>The two continued kissing as they recovered from their orgasms.</p><p>Xander chuckled into the kiss as he ran out of air and shifted his head to the side. He gasped in air, grinning.</p><p>Spike raised himself up on his forearms and smiled as he stared down into the human’s brown eyes. </p><p>“Gods,” he said.</p><p>Spike pushed himself away from the mortal and threw himself onto his back beside him. He turned his head to look over at Xander.</p><p>“S’not just me, right?” Spike said, “Feels bloody fantastic, yeah?”</p><p>Xander’s eyes lit up as he stared at Spike, “No, it’s not just you,”</p><p>Spike grinned as he leaned into Xander for another kiss. They kissed a few more times, and then Spike started licking around the human’s mouth. </p><p>Xander lay still. He knew, but didn’t want to think about the fact, that the vampire was cleaning blood from around his mouth.</p><p>When Spike finally lay back on the bed, the both of them each reached their hands out for one another as they stared up at the ceiling wondering what the hell was going on between them. </p><p> </p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander hung out with Buffy and Willow the next day. It was his day off, and the girls’ weekend, so they went to the movie theater for a matinee. </p><p>He tried to enjoy his day with them, but all he could think about was Spike. He couldn’t even remember what movie they’d gone to see.</p><p>When the three of them disbanded, Xander decided to go by the Stelle house to water. Spike wasn’t there, so Xander puttered around and then went home.</p><p>He eventually put himself to bed early and woke up at the butt crack of dawn. After showering, he walked to work and spent his shift thinking about what was going on between him and Spike.</p><p>His eight hour shift was over in the blink of an eye and Xander walked over to the Stelle house after on autopilot. He wondered if there would be more kisses today. He hoped so. </p><p>When he entered the Stelle house, Xander stopped when he saw Spike waiting for him. The vampire sat on the stairs, drinking blood from a mug. </p><p>Xander closed the door behind himself and dropped his backpack to the floor. Spike stood up and wandered further into the house, beckoning the human to follow him over his shoulder. </p><p>Xander followed him down to the basement, "I didn't know this place had a basement,"</p><p>Spike pulled a string and a lone light bulb flicked on. </p><p>Xander blinked to adjust his eyes as he finished walking down the steep wooden stairs. </p><p>He glanced around the unfinished basement, while Spike started setting up a couple large mats edge to edge. </p><p>"Shouldn't I water?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike looked at him, "Plant's are done already. Come here."</p><p>Xander moved closer to the vampire.</p><p>"Your first lesson," Spike said, “Will be practicing falling”</p><p>Xander squinted at the vampire, "Uh, I know how to fall Spike, that's pretty much all I do."</p><p>"No. You don't," Spike said, "Which is why we're learning it tonight."</p><p>Xander sulked but did as he was told. His sulking didn't last long though because he soon realized that Spike was right. Xander didn't know how to fall properly. For one thing, he’d never been told to tuck his chin to his chest when falling backwards. It made perfect sense. He could already see his future looking gloriously whiplash free.</p><p>After what felt like hours of repeated break falls, Xander learned to dissipate the energy of any fall by doing a roll out of it. He also learned, if he couldn’t roll, how to transfer the fall energy into the ground by striking the ground on impact. He was sweaty, tired and sore, but he understood the lesson and was grateful for it. </p><p>Xander stood up after his last front break fall and told the vampire he needed a break. He was feeling sore and weak. He wiped the drips of sweat from his face with the neck of his t-shirt. </p><p>Spike’s eyes roamed the human’s perspiring body and then he told him to go drink some water. He watched Xander crawl up the stairs and disappear before he lit a smoke. Spike moved across the room to a small tinfoil covered window. He cracked it open and blew his smoke outside. </p><p>When Xander returned, a few minutes later, Spike was gone. He called out for the vampire as he descended the stairs and glanced around wondering where he was.</p><p>Something grabbed his ankle, and Xander’s heart jumped into his throat as he tripped down the last few stairs. His arms flailed out in front of him and his practiced instinct prevailed. Xander rolled out of the fall gracefully and propelled himself back up to his feet. </p><p>Xander swung around to glare at the vampire as Spike ducked out from behind the stairs with a grin. </p><p>"Nice work."</p><p>Xander fumed, "That was a total dick move! Who does that?!"</p><p>Spike smirked and lifted an eyebrow, "A vampire?"</p><p>"Right.” Xander said as he fought to keep his angry frown from morphing into a smile. “Okay, Mr. Trip me down the fucking stairs, what's next?"</p><p>Spike squinted and shrugged, "Your heart's racing, pet. We should cool it for a bit."</p><p>"I wonder why!"</p><p>Xander stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned his torso half away. It still unnerved him that Spike could hear his body processes. He ducked his head, grateful for the breather, "Yeah. Alright." </p><p>Spike stepped forward, his arms sliding along either side of the mortal’s waist. He pulled the reluctant human against him and kissed his mouth.</p><p>Xander, while trying to stand stiff and unaffected, unfolded like a flower to reciprocate the vampire's kiss. This was his favourite part of being around Spike, whenever they got close. All Xander's thoughts left his head. All he could smell, taste, and feel was the vampire. The two of them pulled little moans out of each other as they kissed. </p><p>Spike pushed Xander down onto the mat and crawled on top of him. He shifted his hips against his and ground his pelvis down into him.</p><p>Xander pulled his face to the side to suck in air. He couldn't get enough of the sensations. He moved to capture the vampire's lips again as he rolled his hips upwards. The two continued to make out and rub against one another as they grew more excited.</p><p>The next time Xander paused for air, Spike raised himself up on his forearms to stare down at him.</p><p>They were both breathing heavily and Xander smiled up at the vampire, eyes dark with arousal.</p><p>Spike bit his lip, unsure what to do. He'd never done this before. He didn't know what to do. Well, technically, he knew the logistics since he’d experienced it in the other world; but he'd never done it like this before. </p><p>The vampire felt age old feelings spring up inside him. He felt wrong, like he shouldn't even be thinking of doing this for fear of upsetting his Sire. Despite this, the feelings of want far outweighed anything else. He wanted Xander. He’d take on Drusilla for one more taste of the mortal.</p><p>Xander bit his bottom lip as he watched the uncertainty cross Spike's face. He thrust his hips up into the tight jeans pressing against him. He wanted this and he could feel the vampire's erection indicating that he wasn’t the only one. What was the hold up?</p><p>Spike moaned and rolled his hips in response. He lowered his head as his eyes closed in pleasure.</p><p>Xander reached up to grab his face and then the two were kissing again. </p><p>Xander pulled back from the kiss and stared up into Spike’s blue eyes.</p><p>Spike blink down at the mortal.</p><p>"Please?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike couldn't form words. He wanted the human so bloody much and miracles of miracles the human wanted him back. He nodded. </p><p>Xander’s mouth curled into a grin as he pulled the vampire's head down for another kiss. The two quickly got back into the rhythm of dry humping against each other as their tongues tangled.</p><p>Spike lifted himself away to undo his jeans and Xander wasted no time stuffing his hand down the vampire's pants to grope him. They both gasped at the sensation and continued kissing. </p><p>Spike fumbled with Xander's pants and within moments Xander sighed happily as his erection was freed. Cool air whisked around his sex and he grew giddy as Spike's cool hand gripped him and pressed their erections together. </p><p>The two continued to lick and suck at each other's mouths as they mutually fondled each other blindly.</p><p>Thoughts momentary lost, as their bodies flooded with excitement, it didn't take long before each of them were equally hard and dripping as they rocked against each other. </p><p>Spike groaned and raised himself to his knees. He lifted his torso, keeping his hands around their dicks as he slid them together. He stared down at the mortal with a grin as he saw his human's eyes dark and dilated. Spike licked his lips and glanced down at their cocks pressed together in his grip. He stroked them both and then looked back up into Xander’s eyes. </p><p>They stared at one another while Spike’s hands continued fist fucking the both of them.</p><p>Xander gripped the vampire’s jean clad thighs as he thrust his dick up into Spike’s hand. He bit his lip as he looked down to stare at his dick. Spike’s cock, next to his own, was lighter in color except for the head. The tip was dark red and looked like Spike was going to cum any second. Xander could feel how hard Spike was up against him and he wanted to make the vampire cum. He wanted to cum himself. Xander moaned and closed his eyes. He tilted his head to the side and presented his neck to his vampire</p><p>When nothing happened, he thrust his cock deeper into the vampire’s fist and begged, “Please?”</p><p>Xander gasped as his throat was bitten into. At the same moment, his orgasm rippled through him. He gripped the back of Spike’s neck and held the vampire’s face to his throat as he rode out the pleasure. He could feel the mess of ejaculate on his stomach. Spike held their dicks in it as he slowed his frantic fist fucking. The vampire let go of their dicks and lowered himself fully on top of the slick between them as he continued nursing on the mortal’s throat. </p><p>Xander hummed happily as his body calmed and cooled. He listened to Spike heave in breath after breath through his nose, without letting go of the suction on his neck. It made him grin. Xander stared off to the side and thought about the fact that Spike didn't actually need to breath and that he, a human, was capable of causing the vampire to forget that fact.</p><p>Spike relished in the feeling of Xander rubbing him down. He grinned against the mortal’s throat, ecstatic. The Stelle was gone from the mortal’s blood and Spike moaned against Xander’s throat as his cock twitched. He ground his spent erection against the human. He didn’t want to stop sucking Xander’s blood. He was beside himself that Harris wanted him to drink from him and play with his dick. He was beside himself that this human wanted him, full stop.</p><p>Xander moaned as he felt Spike buck up against him. His dick twitched and he huffed a chuckle knowing that he couldn’t go again. He wondered why it mattered to him so much that Spike drank from him. He loved it when the vampire bit him. It made him feel more connected to him. It made him feel like they were the only two people in the entire world.</p><p>Xander noticed when the vampire stopped breathing. He lay there enjoying it as Spike continued to suckle at his throat. </p><p>Eventually, when Spike pulled away, he lifted his face to stare at the mortal.</p><p>Xander stared up into the vampire's amber eyes and slowly lifted his hand to touch the bumps of his brow.</p><p>Spike licked the blood from his lips as he let his face morph back to it’s usual human design. He lowered himself back on top of the human and sighed into another kiss.</p><p>Xander reciprocated the kiss enthusiastically and rubbed his hands all over the vampire on top of him. His thoughts began to run a mile a minute as the endorphins wore off. He wondered if Spike was as happy with the recent developments. He’d seemed so pensive before hand and Xander knew that he’d sorta begged for this to happen.</p><p>"That was okay, right?” he said.</p><p>The vampire nodded and squinted down at the mortal.</p><p>"Guess I should ask the same,” Spike said, “My first time doing something like this,"</p><p>The two stared at one another.</p><p>"Me too," Xander said, “I’ve never been with a guy before,”</p><p>Spike smiled, hearing this. He felt possessive and leaned down to kiss his human. When he pulled away, he tucked his face against Xander’s neck and paused with his lips hovering over his bite mark.</p><p>"It was ace, pet, truly," he said.</p><p>Spike then bit into Xander’s flesh. </p><p>Xander winced as the fangs penetrated him, and then he sighed and laid there as Spike sucked his blood. He rubbed his hands all over the vampire’s back and anywhere he could reach. He was beginning to love the weight of Spike on top of him. He felt euphoric. He'd just had an amazing orgasm and his vampire was feeding on him again. He began to doze off with a grin on his face.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>When Xander woke up he was laying in the vampire's bed alone. Spike must have carried him up from the basement, he thought. He rolled over and snuggled into the big white bed. It smelled like Spike and Stelle. </p><p>Xander groaned as his bladder urged him to get up. He shuffled down the stairs to use the washroom. When he returned, planning to crawl back into the nice warm bed, he stopped in the doorway. He stood staring at something stashed under the bed. He walked over to the bed and reached under it to pull out a large bottle of lubricant. His eyes rounded as he looked at it. He glanced at the bed and immediately imagined Spike fucking someone. A bolt of jealousy nearly blinded him and he set the large bottle back down where he found it as if he'd been burned. </p><p>Xander sat in a squat, staring at the lube, as he questioned why Spike would have so much lube in a house filled with not much else. He noticed the bottle was still sealed and he calmed. It hadn't been used yet. </p><p>He shifted to stand and then sat down on the edge of the bed. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he realized that the lube was most likely for him. He gulped as he imagined Spike fucking him. He blushed and blinked out of his thoughts to glance around the room.</p><p>He looked over the sooty black walls and squinted as he contemplated Spike and him fucking. He knew he wanted it. He knew he wanted Spike. There was something about the vampire that drew him in and kept him fascinated like a moth to a flame.</p><p>While he sat there, Xander realized it was a purely physical reaction. He wasn’t interested in the vampire’s mind. He didn’t know anything about Spike. The attraction was physical.</p><p>Xander frowned as he sat on the side of the bed staring at the wall. He realized that he had no idea who Spike really was. Not only that, but he was heavily contemplating letting the vampire fuck him and he knew next to nothing about him. Spike could hurt him now... and during sex – really hurt him.</p><p>Xander knew that he wanted the sex, but he just wasn’t sure why. Why didn’t he want it with some normal human girl? Or even a human guy? Why Spike?</p><p>He knew Spike was a vampire. He knew that Spike liked to hunt and kill. That he was evil. All those things, Xander detested. So, why did he like him? </p><p>He had no idea what actually went on in the bleached wonder’s head. Did Spike have hopes and fears? Was evil and killing really all he thought about?</p><p>Xander recalled watching sports with the vampire, reading one of his poems, and finding him suicidal at dawn. He knew there was more to the Spike then simply killing and maiming. He just hadn’t really paid any mind to be interested.</p><p>Now that he was introspective, he wondered what else there was to know about the vampire. He chewed on his lip as he looked down at his hands. He felt anxious about his lack of thinking this all through. Here he was messing around with a vampire and he knew he should know better. But, instead he felt comfortable, since everything advanced at such a gradual pace. </p><p>Xander felt like he was exactly where he should be in life. Confused, but satisfied. But then he’d talk to his friends and always come away wondering if he was on the right path still. </p><p>Internally, he felt like he was. But he didn’t feel comfortable telling his friends about what was happening between him and Spike. That alone made him feel guilty. Like what he was doing was bad and wrong. But he really enjoyed spending his time with the vampire. He really liked Spike.</p><p>Xander sighed and rubbed his palms on his thighs. He felt it in his gut that they were going to have sex soon and it made him anxious. </p><p>He knew that he wanted it to happen, but he was fearful. He realized that he was more afraid of Spike being a vampire then he was of Spike wanting to fuck him. He actually knew the sex would probably be great. Fantastic, even. He'd tried pegging with Anya, a while ago, so he wasn't completely oblivious to the mechanics.</p><p>He worried that Spike might hurt him, though. </p><p>Anya had been dainty and delicate during their experiments. She’d gone slow, the couple of times they tried it, but Xander assumed the vampire wouldn't even think to go about it the same way. Spike was a demon, after all. He could literally split Xander in two. </p><p>Xander shook his head to clear it. He had some healthy fears, but he also felt an all consuming need to actually do go through with it. He wanted to. He wanted to have sex with Spike.</p><p>He sat on the edge of the bed wondering if finding the lubricant would propel the experience to occur faster now. He'd been fantasizing about it, and now that he knew it was a real possibility he knew he was going to push for it. Spike and him fucking could be a very real thing in his future.</p><p>Excitement blossomed in his chest. He couldn't wait. He was beyond excited for the prospect. When he'd experienced anal before, he'd liked it a lot, but Anya didn't. So he’d been pegged twice, but that was the extent of it. </p><p>Xander knew it would be different with Spike, though. Everything was different when it came to the vampire. The tendrils of excitement that coursed through him whenever they were together were much different than any other relationship he'd ever experienced.</p><p>Xander closed his eyes as he recalled a memory from earlier. Spike kneeling above him, looking down at him, gripping their dicks together. Xander had been blown away by the absolute desire he’d seen in the vampire's eyes. That was what sent him over the edge to squirt into Spike's hand.</p><p>Filling with arousal, Xander let himself fall back on the bed. He reached his hands into his pants and began to fondle himself. He revisited his memory of their time in the basement in his mind with his eyes closed. When he was close, he sat up and waddled downstairs to finish tugging on himself in the bathroom so he could flush his load down the toilet.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>After an uneventful daytime thanksgiving dinner, with the LA crew and the Scooby gang, Spike and Xander left the mansion hand in hand. </p><p>They stopped chatting as they came upon a sofa and chair stashed on the front porch of the Stelle house. They looked at one another and then the two of them moved them into the house together. Once the couch and chair were moved into the foyer. They set them down at odd angles and Spike pulled Xander down onto the couch beside him. He threw his arm around the mortal and the two of them sat lazing on the couch together. Illuminated by the Stelle on the pedestal behind them, Xander watched the wavering mauve hue ripple across the vampire’s alabaster skin before cuddling closer into his side.</p><p>“When did you order these?” Xander said.</p><p>“Last week, sometime,” Spike said.</p><p>“We should clean up the front room,” Xander said, “Put these in there and make an actual living room.”</p><p>Spike shrugged, “Could do...  Need ta find a spot for the babies first,”</p><p>“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” Xander said.</p><p> Spike shrugged, “I’ll put it on the to-do list,”</p><p>“You gonna clean the sooty walls and everything?”</p><p>Spike squinted at Xander, “You helping me?”</p><p>Xander smiled and gave him a nod.</p><p>“Guess so, then,” Spike said, returning the smile.</p><p>The two continued chatting until Xander started to doze. Spike stood, pulled Xander to his feet, and maneuvered the sleepy mortal upstairs and into the bedroom.</p><p>When Xander woke up hours later, he found himself alone in the Stelle house. </p><p>He wandered around, looking into rooms to see the pink and purple branches reaching for the lights. </p><p>Xander wandered back to the bedroom, chilled, and crawled under the blankets. As he lay there, he started thinking. He spent most nights at the Stelle house, now. It just seemed easier since he was there all the time anyway. Most nights he slept alone, since Spike went out to hunt or do whatever vampires did at night. Though, sometimes Spike stayed home and cuddled him to sleep. They'd also shared a few more mutual masturbation sessions, though the two of them had yet to be fully naked in front of one another. Xander was almost starting to wonder if Spike was hiding a deformity.</p><p>Xander wasn't mad about the developments. He just wanted more. Xander sighed and clutched Spike's pillow against himself as he tried to go back to sleep. He had to work in the morning and he felt like a few more hours of sleep were exactly what the doctor ordered.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike ran into a great deal while out hunting the night before. He’d started the night off by draining a man who was falling down drunk. He’d left the man alive, propped up in a doorway. He’d then followed a half demon girl down a dark alleyway but let the girl keep walking as he stopped and stared through the glass window of a shop.</p><p>He entered the shop and purchased a massive brand-new TV. It was a hell of a deal, dirt cheap since it was Black Friday, and the demonic salesman threw in a TV stand and free overnight delivery to boot. Spike left grinning.</p><p>The TV arrived today, while Xander was off at his job. Spike got it all hooked up and then spent a good chunk of time flicking through the free channels that came thru the cable line. </p><p>Boredom hit when Xander didn’t show up at his normal time and Spike waited around the house until the sun set before he decided to head out to rent some movies.</p><p>The vampire stood in the back room of the video store where the R-rated and skin flicks were hidden. He scanned the back of a film box as a familiar scent assaulted him. Spike stopped reading, but continued to stare at the box in his hand as he focused on the area around him. He could hear the sound of high heels clicking against the linoleum floor. He blinked and set the movie box back on the shelf. </p><p>A creaking door sounded behind him and he glanced up. Spike turned to stare at his Sire.</p><p>“Dru-silla,” Spike said.</p><p>Drusilla let the swinging door go as she stepped into the adult section. The door creaked as it swung back and forth on its hinge. She stopped in front of Spike and stared into his eyes.</p><p>Spike stood unable to voice words. His Sire looked radiant.</p><p>"William," she said, "I’m on a quest,"</p><p>Spike blinked.</p><p>"Oh. I get it. You only come to me when you want something. Is that it?"</p><p>Drusilla pursed her lips and stared at him. Her eyes looked clear. Spike swallowed as he realized she was fully lucid.</p><p>"William," she said.</p><p>Spike heard the reproving threat in her voice and he tilted his head to scan her features.</p><p>"What do you need, Dru?"</p><p>Drusilla grabbed his hand. A smile graced her lips and she pulled him from the store. Her high heels clicking harshly as they walked. </p><p>Spike looked down at his Sire’s hand. It felt alien clasping his own. He frowned as he saw there was something painted on her hands. </p><p>The two of them exited the shop's front doors and stood before the store. A neon sign illuminated them and Spike lifted Drusilla’s hand to inspect it. He saw the whole hand was redder then it should be and on the back of it was a cross. </p><p>Spike squinted at the cross confused. He then glanced up at her to ask her about it.</p><p>Drusilla turned to him and spoke, "It'll be just like old times, pet."</p><p>Spike squinted into Drusilla’s dark brown eyes, "Wasn't so long ago..."</p><p>Drusilla smiled and tugged on his hand as she lured him into the darkness, "Come Childe."</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander bit his tongue as he clutched his coffee between both hands. He stared over Willow's shoulder as she babbled about school. All he could think about was that he was watching Spike with Drusilla holding hands across the street. His heart felt like it was coming out of his chest.</p><p>Earlier, Xander showed up at the Stelle house. He’d had to work late, so didn’t get home until after the sunset. Spike wasn’t home, so he’d watered the plants that needed it, and saw that Spike acquired a big TV. The TV was hooked up in the bedroom, at the end of the bed, but the vampire was nowhere to be found. </p><p>Bored, Xander decided to leave the Stelle house and wander over to Willow’s. He’d found his friend all too willing to visit the Espresso Pump with him and the two walked over while they chatted.</p><p>Now, Xander sat with his back up against a wall, in a booth seat. He peered out the window, over his friends' shoulder, and watched the two vampires exit the video store hand in hand. He watched as they stopped to speak to each other and then he watched them walked out of sight.</p><p>Xander swallowed a sip of his coffee and tried not to reveal that he felt like his heart was breaking. He’d been so stupid. He twisted his tongue in his mouth and focused on his breathing.</p><p>He blinked as he forced himself to tune back into Willow's speech. He nodded when he thought it appropriate and tried to keep up a carefree facade. Inside, he felt he was tearing apart. Devastation ripped through him and he felt his hopes leak out of him. </p><p>Xander wondered what Spike was doing with him if he was also with Drusilla. Was Spike keeping tabs on both sides? Was Xander a prop for the vampire to have some sort of inside man with Buffy? Was Xander so stupid to have thought that there was something actually happening between them?</p><p>Realizing his mind was somewhere else completely, Xander drank more of his coffee and tried to refocus on his friend. He couldn't do anything about the Spike thing anyway. And if Spike was going to use him to spy on Buffy then Xander could just as well use Spike to spy on Drusilla. </p><p>What the hell was she doing in town anyway? Xander thought. He’d been drawn so thin worrying about working full time during the day, watering the Stelle in the afternoon, and helping the Scooby’s patrol at night that he hadn’t thought about Drusilla at all. Not to mention, he’d been entranced by this new thing between him and Spike, he hadn’t been thinking about anything else.</p><p>Xander rubbed the ache in his chest as he drank the dredges of his tepid coffee. Willow talked excitedly about what classes she was taking next semester, none the wiser.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike followed Drusilla into an old shop tucked away in an alley. Candles illuminating every nook and cranny and Spike saw the walls were filled with eclectic mismatched antiques. The bell tinkled over them when they entered.</p><p>Drusilla let go of Spike’s hand and stepped ahead of him. He watched her look around and sing song, “Virgil! Come out lovely!”</p><p>Spike then proceeded to watch his Sire lure a balding, rotund man out from a hiding place. He watched as Drusilla hypnotized the man and ordered him to stick his tongue out. When Virgil did so, Dru cut it out of his mouth. </p><p>Drusilla kissed Virgil, swallowing a mouthful of his blood, before placing his tongue into a glass jar she pulled from the fabric of her dress. Drusilla then turned to Spike and offered him Virgil with a nod of her head.</p><p>Spike stepped forward and bit into the hypnotized man. He drank him down as his mind raced. He slowed his sips and sucked shallowly as he thought about his recent no-kill streak. He hadn’t been killing very much lately, if at all. </p><p>He’d been feeding, without killing, since getting his chip removed... Ever since Xander stayed over every night... Ever since Xander started feeding him.</p><p>Spike didn’t want to kill Virgil. All he could think about was Xander not wanting him anymore because he’d killed this fat sack of shit. A sad sack that Spike didn’t want to even kill in the first place. </p><p>He didn’t want to have to explain this to Xander later. He didn’t want to loose his chance with the human over this. He withdrew his fangs and dropped the body. Virgil lay at his feet unconscious but not dead. </p><p>Spike stood and moved around Drusilla. He grabbed her hands and pulled her a few steps towards the door.</p><p>“What’s going on Dru?” he said, “Why do you need his tongue?”</p><p>Drusilla looked down at their joined hands, “It’s for a spell. The last one didn't take.”</p><p>Spike looked down at her red hands, “And what’s wrong with your hands?”</p><p>Drusilla stared up into Spike’s eyes, “Everything is as it should be, Luv. Don’t you worry,”</p><p>“What are you up to?”</p><p>“Oh, you know,” Drusilla said.</p><p>She smiled slyly at him and Spike smiled as he squinted at his Sire. She was always reading her own book, that one. Always on her own path. He stared into Drusilla’s eyes and took a moment to be thankful she couldn’t hypnotize him.</p><p>“Do you have the stone I gave you?” She said.</p><p>Spike shook his head, “Not on me... What was that all about? Sending me-”</p><p>Spike stopped himself. He wanted ask Drusilla why she would send him to another world to fuck a human male, but then he shut his mouth with a click when he realized that there was no way in hell he was talking to her about it.</p><p>Spike let go of Drusilla’s hands as she stepped away from him and moved towards the door.</p><p>“You should keep it on you,” she said, “For the future,”</p><p>Spike opened his mouth, but shut it. He watched her open the door and leave. Spike looked over his shoulder at the fat, bald man. He groaned and kicked a stool before leaving the shop. He met up with his Sire on the street corner.</p><p>“Where to next?”</p><p>Drusilla turned to him and smirked, “We depart, dear Childe.”</p><p>Spike was about to speak but Drusilla spun and pinned his lips with a finger, “We’ll meet again soon. You’re selling Stelle, yes?”</p><p>Spike nodded once, eyes narrowing.</p><p>So this was why she was here.</p><p>Drusilla removed her finger and stepped away.</p><p>“I want to arrange a meeting between you and Jamie Caledonia,” she said.</p><p>Spike’s eyes went wide, but confusion swiftly set in. He squinted, “What’re you doing with that prat?”</p><p>Drusilla saw all the questions running through his head and sighed. “Meet up with me again at the demon nightclub with the blue door,”</p><p>Spike stared at his Sire. He wanted to know more then anything why Drusilla was associated with the Caledonia prat. He sucked his teeth and he nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll show up,” he said.</p><p>Drusilla smiled and curtsied, “Goodnight, William,”</p><p>“Night, Dru.”</p><p>Spike watched her walk away and out of sight before he head home to the Stelle house with his thoughts clouded. </p><p>When he got home, he picked up the tiny brown stone from the pedestal and stared at it as it rolled around in his palm. He didn’t know what Drusilla’s plans were, but he knew he still trusted her. She was his Sire. She would never hurt him. Not without good reason. He figured there must have been a reason Dru sent him to the other reality.</p><p> Spike thought back to the night he’d travelled to the other world. The night he’d met Xander. Spike knew he’d never have met him if it weren't for Drusilla’s meddling spell. He wouldn’t be spending all his time with this Xander, If Dru hadn’t done what she’d done. None of that would have ever happened... Nothing happening now would be the same. The house wouldn’t be full of Stelle and the house wouldn’t currently smell like it was saturated in Xander’s sexy pheromones. </p><p> Spike glanced around the foyer as he took in a deep breath. A smiled curved his lips. He shoved the brown stone into his coat pocket and then spun around to head for the door. He wanted to go find his human.</p><p> </p><p>* * * </p><p><br/>Xander walked through Nelson Park towards Crawford street. He’d just walked Willow home and was waffling between heading back to his parents house or back to the Stelle house. Unable to make a decision, he thought he’d wander by the mansion to see if either of the slayers were looking for a patrol pal. He needed to take his mind off of things.</p><p>Spike sidled up next to Xander and fell into step along side him. Xander swallowed as he looked at the vampire. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. </p><p>The two walked in silence and occasionally Xander would feel the vampire’s hand brush against his. He shifted to aligned his walk to create more space between them; yet, still, Spike continued to brush up against him.</p><p>An owl hooted up in the trees, and Xander looked up for it. His hand brushed against the vampire's again, but this time Spike clasped it and entwined their fingers. Xander glanced down at the vampire and Spike shot him a grin as he squeezed his hand.</p><p>Xander returned the smile, unconsciously. He then glanced away and bit his lip. He didn’t know why his guts clenched in excitement just now. This wasn’t real. Spike was a vampire. He was just doing evil vampire things. He didn’t really like him. Not like he’d thought.</p><p>Xander glanced over at the vampire's profile as his mind helpfully supplied him with imagery of Spike holding Drusilla's hand earlier. He gulped and looked away. His heart hurt. Spike's hand felt perfect in his, like they were two pieces of a puzzle. He didn’t want to think about Spike two timing him. </p><p>Xander couldn't stop himself from bringing up what he saw. His mind was agonizing him about it. He knew it was a bad idea, so he hedged his questions.</p><p>"So, um, have you found out anything out about Drusilla?" he said.</p><p>Spike glanced at him before his eyes strayed to survey their surroundings. He didn't say anything. </p><p>Spike felt it an odd occurrence that the whelp wanted to know about Dru so soon after he'd seen her. Figuring he’d been seen, he didn’t want to lie.</p><p>"Err, never mind," Xander said.</p><p>Spike felt Xander try to pull his hand away from him but he kept a firm hold of it. He pulled on Xander’s hand so he’d turn to face him and the two stood staring at each other.</p><p>"Look, Harris... Xander...,” Spike said, “I’ve seen her, ya? But I don't know much. I don’t know what she’s doing."</p><p>Spike stared at the human, imploring him with his eyes to understand that he didn’t have all the answers. He wished with his black heart that Xander could tell that he was telling the truth.</p><p>Xander stared into Spike’s blue eyes, “So, she's still in town?"</p><p>Spike nodded.</p><p>Xander scoured Spike’s face as he worried his bottom lip with his teeth. He didn’t know how he felt about the situation. He still didn’t know who Spike was loyal to and it freaked him out.</p><p>Spike continued to stare at Xander and then he reached up with his free hand to caress his neck. He thumbed over his claim mark and then moved in for a tentative kiss. </p><p>Xander closed his eyes as excitement pooled in his gut. He reached up and grabbed onto Spike’s coat with his free hand as he met him half way. They kissed until Xander was no longer worried about what side Spike was on. </p><p>When they separated, they stared at one another. Spike smiled and watched an answering grin bloom on the mortal. He tugged on Xander’s hand and the two continued walking.<br/> <br/>After a block, Spike turned his head and looked off to the side, thinking he smelled something. He shrugged it off when he saw nothing suspicious. </p><p>The two of them turned up Crawford street, walking hand in hand.</p><p>Xander wondered when Spike was going to let go of him. He didn't necessarily want him to, he really liked holding hands with the vampire, but then again Xander wasn’t so sure what he’d tell his friends if they were caught out.</p><p>They stopped in front of the mansion door and Spike pulled the human close to kiss him again. Xander expected a few sweet kisses like out on the street, but soon he was melting up against the door as Spike pressed himself against him. </p><p>The vampire slid his hands into Xander’s hair and angled his face for a deeper kiss. Xander gripped at the leather lapels of Spike’s coat as his mouth was ravaged. He let out a moan as Spike thrust his erection up against him.</p><p>Xander panted when the vampire eventually pulled away. </p><p>Spike smirked and came in for another kiss before they each pulled back and grinned at each other.</p><p>Xander leaned his head back against the door gasping for breath. </p><p>Spike reached down to twist the doorknob behind the mortal’s hip. He walked Xander backwards into the mansion before closing the door behind them.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Ethan drove through Sunnydale looking to stir up a bit of chaos. He steered his car towards a familiar destination and parked across the street from the condominiums where Rupert Giles lived. He got out of his car, jogged across the road and entered the courtyard. Strutting over to his old friend's door, Ethan made to knock but paused. He saw candlelight flickering through the window. Curious, he decided to peek through the glass. </p><p>For a moment, he thought the condo empty. Then Ethan saw the side of Rupert's head perched over the arm of the sofa. A moment later he saw a red head appear over the back of the couch. He watched the redhead sit up. It was apparent to Ethan that she was straddling the older man. Most likely sheathing the old man with her cunt.</p><p>A smirk curled the corners of Ethan's mouth. He couldn't see much, as the couch blocked his view, but he saw the redhead shift her torso forward and lower her nipples into Rupert’s mouth. </p><p>Ethan found himself breathing heavy and decided it best to leave the old boy to it. Poor Rupert probably hadn't been laid in an age. Ethan chuckled to himself as he pushed away from the window and exited the courtyard. He jogged back to his car and pulled it back onto the road. Deciding it was in his best interest to get on with his plan, he got to it. </p><p>The chaos mage come back to Sunnydale for one reason only and it wasn’t to watch Rupert get a leg up.</p><p>Ethan had learned through the grapevine that the Caledonia's only son had come home. He’d tried everything he could to let it go. He tried to believe the linage curse he’d placed on the kid would be enough, but he couldn't stop himself. He wanted vengeance. </p><p>Still beyond angry, he'd come back to Sunnydale to decimate the last of the family line responsible for chipping him and stealing the last year of his life. He couldn’t move forward, if he didn’t finish this. His obsession was hindering him.</p><p>Ethan drove into a gas station and parked. He walked up to a phone booth and looked in the white pages to find where the Caledonia's lived. He ripped out the page he needed and then went into the store to get some food. He charmed the store clerk to believe he paid for his items, then he bewitched the clerk to forget him completely. She blushed and fumbled in her eagerness to please him and Ethan accepted his bag of items and took them back to his car.</p><p>He ate while he drove to the address on the white page. He pulled up outside a fancy mansion and parked across the street from it. He stared at the front door as he finished eating his gas station food.</p><p>Ethan blinked as he saw two men holding hands walk by on the opposite side of the street. Ethan quickly cloaked himself in a silencing spell and scooched down in his seat to spy on them. He saw the two men clearer as they approached. One was brunet and the other blond. </p><p>Ethan recognized the blond as the vampire William the Bloody. The vampire who’d helped him leave town a few months previous. He scanned the two men walking hand in hand and his eyebrows lifted to his forehead as they walked beside his car. He recognized the brunet as Giles's little friend. What was his name? Xander? </p><p>What an odd pairing, he thought. </p><p>Ethan stalked the two men, turning his car on and keeping his lights off. He kept his distance and eventually parked down the road from a mansion that he watched them enter. </p><p>Ethan waited for over an hour before the house emptied itself of occupants. He wondered what the little group was up to as he saw at least four of them exit the building. He decided to follow the blond and brunet again, as the men branched off from the others who Ethan didn’t recognize.</p><p>Ethan followed them to a graveyard. He turned off his car and left it near the entrance. Continuing on foot, he stalked the two men. He kept to the shadows and kept his distance as he watched the vampire and human get jumped by a group of vampires. </p><p>He saw something shiny fall out of William the Bloody’s coat, during the fight. He blinked and wondered if he saw what he thought he saw.</p><p>Ethan watched the fight and found it strange that none of the vampires attacked the human. He watched, confused, as the four vampires ignored the human completely to gang up on the blond vampire. The blond fought the other vampires, killing them one by one, until he was lured off by a stray vampire trying to escape. Xander chased after them. </p><p>With the area clear, Ethan slipped from the shadows. He scanned the ground, and grinned as he plucked the small brown gem from the grass. </p><p>He'd been right. It was what he thought it was. In his hands, he held a Chao stone. Ethan had seen a few Chao stones in his day. More importantly, he recalled how to activate them. He imbued the stone with energy as he watched the vampire and human walk back towards him. </p><p>Spike stopped in his tracks and shifted into his demonic visage as soon as he saw Ethan.</p><p>Xander bumped into the back of the vampire and then shifted around him to stand next to him.</p><p>"Ethan Rayne?" Xander said, "You’re so not welcome here!"</p><p>Spike turned to look at the human, "You know this warlock?"</p><p>Xander nodded, "Known troublemaker,"</p><p>"Look, I'm not here to start trouble. I only wanted to see Rupert. But it seems he's busy dipping his wick in the redhead. I've loved chatting, but I really best get down to business." </p><p>Ethan smirked and threw out both his hands. He threw a bolt of lightning at the vampire at the same time he chucked the Chao stone at Xander.</p><p>Reflexively, Xander caught the stone and winked out of existence. The vampire looked up, none the worse for wear from the diversion, and saw Xander missing. His vision went red and Spike lunged for the warlock's throat.</p><p>Second’s later, Spike stood over the warlock's corpse, pursing his bloody lips. He was devastated. Xander was gone. </p><p>Spike thought back over the interaction and realized he recognized the stone the warlock threw at the whelp. It was the same stone that Drusilla gave him before. Spike didn't understand the stone's power as he had no idea what the bloody fuck it was, so he ran off to go find the Watcher. </p><p>Spike rushed out of the graveyard and stopped when he saw a car parked on the curb. He went back to the warlock’s body, found a set of keys and wallet, and then hopped into the car to drive like a bat out of hell over to the mansion.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike arrived at Crawford street in a flash. He burst through the front door and rushed into the main room grateful to see the watcher sitting there with his head in a book.</p><p>Giles looked up as the vampire stormed into the room.</p><p>"Wotcher, we got a problem,” Spike said, “Harris is missing,"</p><p>Giles eyes widened in alarm, "Missing? How?”</p><p>"A warlock, some Ethan Rayne, bewitched him. Whelp’s gone- disappeared to who knows where,”</p><p>Giles froze, "Ethan Rayne?"</p><p>The older man stood up and moved across the room.</p><p>Spike follow him, "Oi! Listen to me. This is an emergency!"</p><p>Giles swung around as he picked up the telephone receiver, "I know that! I'm calling Buffy to deal with Ethan right away."</p><p>"No need." Spike said, "Dealt with him already,"</p><p>He pressed his fingers down on the phone receiver and Giles looked down at the vampire's hand to see the beds of his nails stained with blood. </p><p>A chill overcame the ex-watcher and his skin flushed with goosebumps. Giles set the phone back down in its cradle and swallowed nervously.</p><p>Spike turned away from him and growled in frustration, "That bloody bastard!" </p><p>Giles took a second to steady his nerves as he watched the vampire pace the room.</p><p>"What, exactly, happened?" Giles said.</p><p>Spike stopped walking and stared at the other man, "I was out with Harris, fighting some vamps, and this bloke shows up. Harris knew him, didn't like him, called him Ethan Rayne. Then, one second the whelp was with me, the next he's not. The warlock threw something at him and when Harris caught it he disappeared."</p><p>"He's not a warlock,” Giles said, “Ethan’s a chaos mage,"</p><p>“Whatever,” Spike shrugged, “He <em>was</em> a chaos mage,”</p><p>Giles swallowed, "Did you see what was thrown?"</p><p>“Looked like a small brown rock," Spike said.</p><p>As he said it, he checked his coat pockets with his hands.</p><p>Giles took off his glasses and wiped them with his handkerchief, "Yes. Well, you've done plenty tonight already. I'll begin researching this stone and see what I can find."</p><p>Spike nodded and left the watcher to drive back over to the cemetery. He scanned the area where Harris went missing and eventually stood leaning against a mausoleum to have a smoke. He fumbled in his pocket to fetch his lighter and then checked all his pockets, looking for Drusilla’s brown stone. It was missing. He squinted in confusion, and decided he'd check back at home for it before jumping to conclusions. Spike drove Ethan’s car back to the Stelle house.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike entered his home and stopped frozen in his tracks. Xander was in the house. </p><p>Shocked, he took the stairs three at a time and opened the bedroom door. Spike stood frozen in the doorway staring. </p><p>Xander sat, in his bed, naked as the day he was born. The mortal was wrapped up in the white linens like a present. </p><p>Spike felt like he was in a dream. What the bloody fuck was happening?</p><p>Xander's face lit up as he saw the vampire enter, "Master!"</p><p>Spike blinked and his mouth dropped opened. He stepped further into the bedroom as he immediately recognized that this wasn't his Xander. This was the other reality's Xander. </p><p>Spike stared at the human he'd met month’s before, with reverence.</p><p>"How is this possible?" he said.</p><p>The human shrugged and smiled, "I don’t really know but I've missed you,"</p><p>Spike stepped closer to the bed, swallowed thickly as he stared at the nude mortal like he’d disappear.</p><p>Xander watched Spike approach. He only had eyes for him.</p><p>Spike sat down on the side of the bed and the human crawled out of the linens and into the vampire's arms. He pressed his face into Spike’s neck and Spike froze as his hands came up to touch the mortal’s naked flesh. He instinctively encircled the human as his mind reminded him how forthright this Xander was.</p><p>"I won't stay long," Xander said.</p><p>It took the vampire a moment to understand the muffled speech, “How do you know?"</p><p>"You told me... It’s just the end of Dru’s spell." Xander said, “Oh, that reminds me, I need your ring back.”</p><p>Spike gripped the human's biceps and pushed him back to investigate his face, "Are you from the future?"</p><p>Xander shrugged, eyes wide, "I don't know. I guess."</p><p>Spike stared at the human, wondering. His eyes flit back and forth, cataloging the human's face. The two Xander's were identical.</p><p>"You told me there was a ripple effect from a spell," Xander said, "Seriously, that's all I know. Well, and tonight you told me that I wouldn't be here very long and I had to get your ring back."</p><p>Spike stared at the mortal. Realizing that this would be his last chance with this Xander. He'd initially been blindsided by their meeting, way back when, but now they were together again. Spike leaned in to capture Xander's lips in a kiss. </p><p>The two kissed until Spike pulled away. The human continued kissing down his neck and Spike tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. He closed his eyes pained.</p><p>His mind was a mess of comparisons between the two Xander's. All Spike knew was that kissing this human now felt strange and alien. He'd been obsessing over this mortal’s mouth for months, and now that he had it he wasn’t sure he wanted it anymore. </p><p>Spike had spent so much time, lately, with Xander from this reality. He’d spent the majority of it exploring the mortal’s mouth and now Spike found the two Xander’s didn't even kiss the same. This one kissed him confidently, and Spike recalled how at one time he'd enjoying that. Now, though, he was used to this reality's Xander. Spike found the unsure, fumbling kisses more his speed. </p><p>It was at that moment that Spike realized that there was no longer a differentiation between the entities from either reality. There was no Harris from here and Xander from there. There was only Xander from here. That was all that Spike wanted. </p><p>Feeling suffocated, as Xander’s hands moved over his body and he leaned in for another kiss, Spike gently pushed the human away and maneuvered him to lay down next to him on the bed. Spike grabbed the remote from the floor and turned on his new telly. </p><p>Without words, Xander settled his body against the vampire and got comfortable. They watched a movie until the human fell asleep then Spike slid off his plain silver ring and slid it onto Xander’s lax finger.</p><p>“Thanks’, pet,” he said.</p><p>Spike lay watching the mortal sleep, in the dim light of the flickering TV, for the rest of the night. He stared at the mortal's face and wondered how all of this came to be. He wondered how the mortal was flipping back and forth through realities. He also wondered what was going on inside himself. He'd been given exactly what he wanted, Xander was here from the other reality. Why did he no longer want him?</p><p>Confounded by his desires, Spike laid awake until dawn pondering the two identical human's and how different they were.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander woke cuddled up in a tight spoon by his vampire. He sighed, happily, and then his body froze and he opened his eyes in fright. </p><p>He glanced around the room, taking in the sight of the dirty walls and then relaxed with an audible sigh. He was back home in his own reality. </p><p>He stared at the vampire beside him and then lightly kissed his pale arm with a grin. He was beyond excited to be home. He filled with so much happiness he nearly peed. </p><p>Spike had his arm slung over him and Xander gingerly shifted it to the side as he carefully extracted himself and got to his feet. He inspected the vampire's slack face as he slowly backed out of the room. Xander scurried down the stairs to the bathroom as his bladder threatened to burst. </p><p>While relieving himself, he realized he'd missed work during the magical kerfuffle. He cursed under his breath and nearly cut himself while raising his zipper. </p><p>Knowing that Spike didn't have a phone, Xander moved towards the front door and stuffed his feet into his shoes. He left the house, locking the door behind him, and ran home as fast as he could. </p><p>When Xander made the call to his job, he was reprimanded by his boss and told that he got his hours cut. He promised to be in the next day and hung up, then he sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. His mind supplied him with a review of last night's events. He'd been in another world, with a different Spike. Holy crap!</p><p>When Xander first opened his eyes, after catching Ethan’s flung stone, he'd found himself laying on the middle of a nicely decorated bedroom. </p><p>Across from him, stood a shirtless smirking Spike. </p><p>Xander stood up from the floor and backed up, his calves bumping into a bed situated behind him. He tumbled down onto it as he stammered, "Wh-what's going on?"</p><p>The human knew, right away, that he wasn't looking at his vampire. His heart began to race. What happened to him? Where was he?</p><p>Spike's head cocked to the side as he stared at him. A faint smirk twisted his lips.</p><p>"You're not like mine at all," he said.</p><p>Xander scrambled off the bed and scanned the room. He saw similarities between his current room and the burned-out room in the Stelle house that Spike was fixing up. His eyes widened as he looked down at the bed and saw that was identical to the one in Spike's room. He gulped as he glanced back at the vampire. </p><p>This isn't my vampire, Xander thought.</p><p>"I'm not in Kansas anymore, am I?"</p><p>"No," Spike said, "You're not,"</p><p>"What's going on? Where am I?"</p><p>"A different reality," Spike said.</p><p>"How?" Xander said, "Did you do this to me?"</p><p>"No, Dru did," Spike said, "but while you're here why don't you come and undress your master."</p><p>Xander blinked, he couldn't have heard right, "My- what?"</p><p>Spike squinted at Xander and cocked his head, "Are we not together yet?"</p><p>Xander gulped, "Are you from the future?" </p><p>Spike blinked and stared at the human curiously as he walked towards the bed. He began to undo the buttons on his jeans and Xander purposefully glanced around the room. </p><p>His gaze caught on a painting hanging on the wall. He gasped as he stared at it. It was the literal rendition of the place he'd visited in his Stelle dream he’d had last week with Willow. Xander stood flabbergasted as he stared at a vision that only he could have seen. He glanced at the vampire and then back at the painting. How was the painting even possible? Had he somehow painted it? In the future?</p><p>"Am I dreaming?" Xander said.</p><p>"No," Spike said, "Come here." </p><p>"No. Thanks." Xander said.</p><p>"Come here, or I make you come here."</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire, frozen. He couldn’t pretend he hadn't heard the steel in the vampire's voice. The fine hairs on the back of his neck raised. His heart pounded in his chest and he began to sweat. The thought occurred to him that the vampire in front of him didn't have a chip. Maybe never had one. He gulped as the thought replayed in his mind that this wasn't his vampire.</p><p>Xander's feet slowly started moving towards the bed. He sat down on the edge and as soon as his butt hit the mattress he yelped as an arm snaked around his waist and pulled him bodily backwards. He struggled against the vampire out of reflex. </p><p>Spike growled, pulled the human flush up against himself, and bit into his neck. Xander froze, his face wincing in pain. Spike never bit him like that before. It hurt.</p><p>Spike pulled away and Xander closed his eyes as he felt warm drops of blood drip on his face.</p><p>"Mm, I can taste that you're mine, though. Doesn't matter which reality, pet. Always mine."</p><p>Spike bit into him again and tears gathered on the surface of Xander’s eyes. He laid still in the vampire's embrace and clenched his teeth as he felt his body grow colder. His limbs felt fuzzy as the vampire gulped greedily. Xander prayed for it to end. He wasn't used to such dramatic bloodletting. Usually, Spike drank from him so gently it caused Xander to get aroused. This was not like that at all.</p><p>Xander started to shiver and the vampire disengaged from his bite. Spike looked down at the mortal and then pulled a blanket over him. Xander felt Spike's arms envelope him and he closed his eyes and tired to force himself to fall asleep. He hoped that if he went to sleep, he'd magically wake up back home.</p><p>And it worked. He’d woken back up in his own reality. </p><p>Xander lifted his head from his hands and looked up from his position on the couch in his parent's living room. He'd been right. He'd fallen asleep and now everything was back to normal. </p><p>He swallowed thickly and reached up to probe the fresh bite mark on his neck. He winced as he contacted the wound. At least otherworldly Spike bit him over the original claim mark, he reasoned.</p><p>Xander sighed and forced his tired legs into the kitchen. He rummaged in the fridge for some food as he tried to make sense of what happened to him. He'd been flung into another reality. A place where Spike was his "master". What was Ethan Rayne playing at?</p><p>While his mind replayed the night over, Xander stopped as he made himself a sandwich and blinked unseeing at the cupboard. In the other reality, Spike said that Drusilla had done a spell, but Drusilla wasn't around. Ethan Rayne was the one who was responsible. Wasn’t he?</p><p>Xander shook his head. He couldn't make heads or tails of the situation so he decided he’d best ask Giles to figure it out for him. Though, he thought, maybe without the addition of Spike to the story.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>When Spike awoke the next afternoon, he stretched and rolled over. He reached out for Xander and opened his eyes when he found the bed empty. The vampire groaned, thinking about the night before. He thought about how different the two Xander's were. After a while, he rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen for a blood bag.</p><p>Spike wandered the house and tended to the Stelle. He didn't have to do much, as the main watering day was tomorrow, but he made sure everything was running smoothly. </p><p>As soon as the sun went down, he was out of the house and walking. He stalked the town searching for his human. When he found no sign of him at his home, or in the Crawford steet mansion, Spike left and wandered towards the bronze. </p><p>When Spike entered, the first thing he saw was a beautiful woman with long dark hair and long ruby red nails singing into a microphone. A jazz band played behind her. </p><p>The second thing he noticed was that he could smell Xander.</p><p>Spike entered the club. The mortal’s were gyrating to the beat and the vampire slipped among them unnoticed. He walked along the walls and spied the blonde Slayer and her friends dancing in the center of the floor. Willow and Buffy were holding hands and laughing as the song changed. Spike saw Xander swaying next to the girls chatting with them.</p><p>Spike climbed the stairs to watch them from above. He lurked in the shadows and watched as the group discussed disbanding. He heard the witch ask if Xander was coming with. Spike grinned as Xander glanced around and then stopped when he looked up and saw the vampire. He smiled up at Spike and then turned to shake his head at his friends.</p><p>Xander stayed on the dance floor as he watched the girls head out. He wasn't surprised when Spike came up behind him and encircled his waist with his arms.</p><p>"Wanna dance?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander gulped as the blonde's lips brushed his ear lobe. He shook his head no.</p><p>Spike turned the mortal around in his arms and smirked, "Wanna get out of here?"</p><p>Xander nodded.</p><p>Spike pulled away, grabbed Xander's hand, and led him through the throngs of dancing humans towards the door. </p><p>Once they were outside, Spike dropped the human's hand, and said, "Lead the way."</p><p>Xander looked at the vampire as he bit his lip. Just from the way Spike spoke, Xander knew that the chase was on. He shivered with excitement and lead them towards town.</p><p>Spike grinned. He was brimming with excitement. He was so happy his human was okay. He wanted to take him home and have his way with him but knew that he didn’t have the nerve. Instead, he decided to get out the adrenalin in the only way he knew. The two of them hadn't played any chase games lately. Just the thought of it made him feel like everything would be back to normal.</p><p>Xander was looking for a way to duck the vampire. He didn't so much like the chase, but he knew that Spike did. Honestly, Xander only really liked getting caught, but he knew he’d have to make a run for it to actually get caught. </p><p>Xander looked around for a way to run away as they walked between two streetlights.</p><p>Spike surprised him and grabbed Xander by the throat.</p><p>Xander gasped and clawed at the vampire’s hand, "Hey! You fuck! I haven’t even run yet!" <br/> <br/>Spike grinned, his amber eyes the only illumination in the darkness. </p><p>Xander grabbed at Spike's hand with one hand and with his other he reached into his waistband to retrieve a vile of holy water. He unstopped it with his thumb and poured it down the front of the vampire. </p><p>Spike roared and let go of him and Xander fled as fast as he could.</p><p>Spike stood gaping. An inch to the left and Harris would have burned his dick off. He winced as he pulled his pants down. He couldn't walk with the holy water searing a hole into his upper thighs. </p><p>Spike wrapped his duster around himself and threw his pants in a dumpster as he snorted at himself. </p><p>He followed his nose and smelled Harris nearby. He grinned as he took off running. He leapt up to the rooftops and followed along behind the mortal. Spike watched the human stiffen and glance around before deciding to enter a dead-end ally. </p><p>The vampire shook his head. He knew the human wasn't this stupid. Spike waited until the mortal made it to the end of the alley and then he jumped down behind him and shoved him against the brick wall.</p><p>Xander caught himself and spun. He let his back fall against the wall as he gasped for breath, “Oh. Hey,”</p><p>"When will you remember that this one’s a bloody dead end?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander licked his lips, "Look, you caught me. Okay. We don't need to finish this, do we? You're not even wearing pants." </p><p>Xander tried to edge to the side and Spike rushed forwards and trapped the human within his arms against the wall.</p><p>"I think we do," Spike said, "You nearly burned my dick off,"</p><p>Xander gulped as he investigated Spike's demonic face. After a moment, he smiled. “But that's good right?"</p><p>Spike tilted his head and grinned, "Would have been great, but you ran into a dead-end ally. You loose points for that."</p><p>"What if I told you I was exactly where I wanted to be?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike lifted an eyebrow, "Is that right?"</p><p>"I figured since I burned you, I should feed you,"</p><p>Spike's nostrils flared as he watched the mortal tilt his head and brandish his claim mark. His mouth watered as his senses grew alert to the blood gushing beneath the surface of the human’s skin. </p><p>Xander kept his eyes on Spike as the vampire licked his lips and surged forward. He waited until they were scant inches apart before he brought a metal cross out of his back pocket and pressed it against the side of Spike's face. He pressed it into him as hard as he could and maneuvered the vampire’s body away from him.</p><p>Spike howled in pain and grabbed his face.</p><p>Xander circled the shocked vampire and shot out of the alley. He ran as fast as he could all the way back to his parents house.</p><p>Spike stood staring at the empty darkness, wincing. His cheek was fried. Spike jumped up onto the nearest building and tried to scent the air. He couldn't smell anything besides the burned flesh of his face.</p><p>He jumped from building to building looking for Harris but the search was fruitless.</p><p>Dejected, Spike decided to head home. He was doubly wounded and without pants. He was happy his human was home and healthy. All the vampire wanted to do now was drink some blood and lay down to watch a movie on his new telly.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>At the mansion the next day, Spike showed up and plopped down next to Xander on the sofa as soon as the sun set. They were the only two in the main room waiting for the meeting to begin.</p><p>Xander scanned the vampire's profile and reached up a hand to caress his cheek.</p><p>"Smooth," he said.</p><p>Spike growled and slapped his hand away, "It's new."</p><p>"Yeah… about that," Xander said, "I... actually totally forgot about that alley again." </p><p>Spike snorted as he took in Xander's bashful look. He shook his head and smiled as he thought of how stupid the human was. "You're an idiot. You'll get bloody killed in that alley one day. Mark my words."</p><p>"I'll remember from now on." Xander said, "Promise."</p><p>"Good," Spike said, "Proud of your escape, at any rate."</p><p>Xander smiled at Spike, "Thanks."</p><p>The two stared into each other’s eyes until Buffy entered the living room, followed by Angel.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Back from patrol, where Xander had just been hilariously pansed by a demon, Spike led the mortal over the threshold of the Stelle house.</p><p>As soon as the door was closed, Spike picked the mortal up and tossed him over his shoulder before marching up the stairs. He tossed Xander down onto the bed and the TV remote flew off and skittered to the floor. Spike grabbed the bottoms of the whelp’s pant’s and shucked them off in one pull.</p><p>“Hey!” Xander said.</p><p>He laughed and fell back as Spike crawled up the bed, and his body, in lightning speed.</p><p>“Woah,” he said.</p><p>Spike stared at him, hovering his face over the mortals, “What?”</p><p>“Still forget you’re a vampire sometimes,”</p><p>Spike swallowed, “How could you forget, you’ve always know.”</p><p>Xander shook his head, “No, I know. It’s just... I forget how quick you can move.”</p><p>Spike smirked and moved down for a kiss. They kissed on the mouth until Xander turned away to gasp for air. Spike continued kissing down his neck.</p><p>Wondering if Spike was going to bite him, Xander asked, “Why do I like it so much when you feed from me? Is it, like, some special vampire enzyme or something?”</p><p>Spike chuckled against the human’s throat and relaxed his weight on top of him. He kissed his mark.</p><p>“No idea, pet. I’m just chuffed you like it.” </p><p>“How much do you actually need to drink?” Xander said.</p><p>“To survive? Nothing... can live forever, can’t I? But for health, to be strong, not much. A pint a day is sufficient, as long as it’s human.”</p><p>Xander thought about that. Thought about how little Spike was probably siphoning off of him.</p><p>“I like it... When you feed on me,”</p><p>“I like it too, Luv,” Spike said, “But if you want this to keep happening I gotta ask you to knock off the Stelle.”</p><p>“The Stelle?” Xander said, “Was that why you wouldn’t come near me all week?”</p><p>“Can’t drink from you when you’re all tainted with it,” Spike said.</p><p>“Oh,”</p><p>The vampire continued his ministrations, kissing his throat. His face morphed and he was about to bite down when the Xander spoke.</p><p>“So... About that bottle under the bed...”</p><p>Spike froze and retracted his teeth. He bit his lip and kept his face in the moral’s neck. </p><p>“What about it?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander’s heart started to race and Spike nearly missed what he said.</p><p>“Should we use it?”</p><p>Spike swallowed, “You want to?”</p><p>Xander nodded, “Yeah, don’t you?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Spike said.</p><p>Embarrassed by his lack of experience, Spike was grateful to be talking into the mortal’s throat.</p><p>“It’s just... Have you ever...?”</p><p>Spike felt like a school boy. He couldn’t even say it. He felt Xander swallow. He heard the mortal’s pulse quicken. Spike was glad the human was nervous too.</p><p>“Yeah... a few times,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike felt winded. </p><p>“Oh,” he said.</p><p>He hadn’t expected Xander to have more experience then him.</p><p>“I mean...” Xander said, “I tried pegging with Anya... But not the real thing.”</p><p>Spike lifted himself onto his elbows to stare at Xander in confusion. Xander blushed bright fuchsia as he scanned his face. </p><p>“What?” Xander said, “I thought we were being honest here,”</p><p>“Sure,” Spike nodded, “What’s pegging?”</p><p>Xander let out his breathy laugh, “She did me with a strap-on,”</p><p>“Oh,” Spike said as his eyes widened in realization, “Bit’s of plastic...”</p><p>Xander pushed at Spike and snorted. “Yeah, yeah” he said, “And you? I’m afraid to know the answer but... have you done anal before?”</p><p>Spike stared down at Xander. The only person he’d ever tried it with before was Xander- but it was Xander from the other world. He couldn’t tell him that.</p><p>“Uh,”</p><p>Xander bit his lip, “It’s not a trick question, Spike.”</p><p>Spike nodded. He heard the vulnerability in his human’s voice and he reached up with his hand to brush the brunet's hair from his face.</p><p>“I know that, pet, and I wanna be right with you... Honestly, it was a one time thing and I didn’t expect it. Bloke just slid my todger and had his way with it... Don’t rightly know what I’m going to do with you... Don’t even know what I’m doing with the slick really,”</p><p>Xander smiled as he watched Spike tell him the truth. He leaned up to kiss him and the two grew sidetracked until Spike lifted himself and shifted off Xander and the bed. He crouch down to retrieve the bottle and then returned to his position above the brunet.</p><p>“Gonna show me how this works then?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander nodded.</p><p> </p><p>* * * </p><p><br/>Laying in the afterglow, Xander thought back to Spike stretching him. It was their first time together and the vampire took his sweet time working him open. Once Spike was in though, it was all they could do to hold onto each other and enjoy it.</p><p>Xander smiled as he remembered the weird sex noises as they slapped together. He recalled how he’d caught a giggle from it and laughed until Spike started laughing and the two had trouble staying the course as they chuckled.</p><p>Xander also recalled the moments spent in pure passion as Spike drank from him while coming inside him. He’d come while being jack hammered by the vampire. He moaned and wriggled in the bed as he recalled their shared bliss. </p><p>Xander opened his eyes, as Spike rolled him over to kiss him. </p><p>Spike pulled back, licked his lips, and stared into the mortal’s relaxed face. </p><p>“Cor, pet...”</p><p>Xander smiled as he snuggled against his vampire’s chest. He took a deep breath and smelled Spike and the Stelle.</p><p>“Guess I won’t have to act like I’m gagging for this next time we go to the club,” Xander said.</p><p>“Won’t be an act, next time, will it?” Spike said.</p><p>“Nope,” Xander laughed.</p><p>Spike smirked, “Gonna let me fuck you there?”</p><p>Xander shook his head and snorted, “Not a chance in hell,”</p><p>Spike chuckled, “Won’t be long now till I kill that bastard good and proper.” </p><p>“Hmm, “ Xander said, “Oh, hey, did I tell you that Buffy killed Jamie?"</p><p>Spike stilled and lifted the mortal’s face to look at him, "What? When?"</p><p>"Last week, I think," Xander said, “She told me before the meeting tonight,”</p><p>Spike sighed and stared at Xander, "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Jamie ain't dead."</p><p>"What?" Xander said, "But... Buffy said she killed him."</p><p>"Guess it didn’t take, then," Spike said.</p><p>Xander groaned and smooshed his face into the pillow.</p><p>Spike rubbed his back.</p><p>"Is now a good time to tell you that Jamie’s the big bad in control of the demon club were taking down?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander lifted his head to look Spike in the eyes. He looked about to say something, but decided to shelve it. He sighed, "I should have known,”</p><p>"We'll kill Jamie,” Spike said, “Don't you worry."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>Spike cuddled his human and murmured, "Poison probably."</p><p>Xander snorted, "You keep saying that."</p><p>Spike murmured into the mortal's neck, "Because it’s true,” </p><p>Xander forced himself to relax and closed his eyes. He focused on the patterns Spike was drawing on his naked back with a finger.</p><p><br/>* * * </p><p><br/>Spike stared up at the ceiling as he listened for any movement from the human. The house was silent. He turned to look at Avery and passed him a wad of cash.</p><p>“You’ll do this for me? Make sure he’s safe, no matter what happens.”</p><p>Avery nodded and pocketed the money, “Yeah, I got it. Xander will be fine. No matter what happens. I got your back, Spike.”</p><p>Spike watched as the other vampire took off his necklace and passed it to him. He accepted it, gratefully.</p><p>“I’ll get this back to you after. Just can’t be too careful around Caledonia,”</p><p>Avery nodded, “Not a problem. I’ll steer clear. Anything else?”</p><p>Spike shook his head, “Nah, just.... make sure Xander makes it out. Everything will be fine.”</p><p>Avery nodded and gave Spike a salute before heading towards the front door.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Camping</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Pish posh!" Giles said.</p><p>Spike chuckled, "Pish posh is right. We're both going."</p><p>Buffy turned a surprised look on Willow but then shrugged and glanced around Giles' living room.</p><p>"O-kay. It’s not that big a deal. I just didn't think either of you'd want to come. I’ll change the reservation tomorrow.”</p><p>"Good,” Giles said, “That’s settled then,"</p><p>"Yup," Buffy said, "But there will be absolutely no slayer talk on this retreat, just so you both know." </p><p>"Unless something attacks you," Spike said.</p><p>Everyone froze and stared at the vampire.</p><p>"Spike," Xander sighed.</p><p>Buffy groaned and put her head in her hands, "Unbelievable."</p><p>Spike looked around, his lips curling up, "Wot?"</p><p>"You can't just say stuff like that," Willow said, "Now it's bound to happen!"</p><p>Spike shrugged, "Meh, a little fun never hurt anyone."</p><p>Xander shook his head and pressed the side of his leg closer to Spike under the table. He felt the vampire shift his leg against his in response and couldn’t suppress his smile.</p><p>Buffy stood up and grabbed her coat, "Well, if that's all this meeting was about then I'm heading out. I’ll patrol on the way home."</p><p>"Do be careful, Buffy," Giles said.</p><p>"I always am," she replied before waving and leaving the condo. </p><p>After the door shut, Willow turned to Giles and asked him to find a book in the loft.</p><p>Spike smelled the two of them as they left the living room. The pheromones pouring off of them both. He remembered the chaos mage saying something about the watcher and Red fucking before he'd killed him. Spike smirked to himself and made a mental note to bring their secret to light at a later date. He then turned his smile on the human sitting next to him.</p><p>He reached out and grabbed the mortal's warm hand, "Come back to the club with me."</p><p>Xander blinked at him, confused, “Now?”</p><p>Spike nodded. </p><p>Xander shrugged, "Alright,"</p><p>Spike stood and pulled the human up by the hand. The two exited the Englishman's condo without saying goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike led Xander back to the Stelle house before walking over to the demon club. When they arrived Spike banged on the blue expanse of wall. The invisible door revealed itself and a disembodied voice demanded, “Password?”</p><p>“Giggleswick,” Spike responded.</p><p>Xander turned to look at Spike, wondering how he knew the password; but the vampire just grinned at him. When the doorway revealed itself, Spike led Xander inside and towards the light at the end of the hall.</p><p>They dropped off a bag of Stelle with the bartender, first thing, and then sought out Avery’s friend Dan who was sitting in a private booth. Spike slid into the booth and pulled Xander down beside him. The two vampire's caught up while Spike offloaded Stelle onto Dan and got a wad money in return. Afterwards, Spike pushed Xander from the booth and led him towards the back of the club. They walked through the large dark doorway and Xander lowered his eyes and kept them on his shoes as they entered the room of demonic debauchery. He held onto Spike's hand and followed along behind him. </p><p>The vampire found a semi-private nook and led his human over to it. He sat down and pulled Xander down into his lap facing him. As Xander shifted in his lap and tucked his face into his neck. Spike pet his human's back as he looked over his shoulder to scope the place out. </p><p>Spike saw a group of demons staring at him and he shifted his focus to the mortal in his lap. He gently righted Xander and caught the mortal's mouth in a kiss. Xander leaned forward to reciprocate and gripped the vampire's neck to pull himself closer. The two made out until Xander ran out of breath and had to turn his face to the side.</p><p>Xander closed his eyes and bit down on a moan as he felt Spike bite into his neck. The human didn't understand the plan, but if it called for Spike touching him and biting him, he didn't much care. He was glad he could only look at a blank wall. He didn’t want to see what the other demons were fucking or eating. He shivered in memory and then bit his bottom lip as Spike teased him with his hands.</p><p>Xander closed his eyes and held on to Spike like a life raft as the vampire touched him anywhere and everywhere. The human licked his bottom lip to check if it was bleeding from biting down on it so hard.</p><p>Spike swallowed Xander’s exquisite blood as he scanned the room over his shoulder. He retracted his teeth and sipped from Xander's neck as a waiter approached them. An old man stopped in front of him and informed him that a VIP room had been purchased for him. The man gestured to the large dark door at the end of the room and then bowed and walked away.</p><p>Spike released Xander and pushed the mortal to stand on wobbly legs. He then gripped his hand and led him towards the large door at the back of the room. They met up with the burly doorman who nodded at Spike and offered him entrance.</p><p>Xander followed along, confused why Spike didn’t have to pay $10K to go through the door this time.</p><p>When the two of them passed through the doorway they saw it was no longer the entrance to the circular slave auction. Instead, they stood in a long corridor full of closed doors. The two of them looked at each other and began walked down the hallway.</p><p>Unable to see what was happening behind each of the closed doors, the two wandered toward the only door that stood open about mid way down the hall. While they approached, Xander's attention was diverted to a flickering exit sign hanging over a door at the end of the hall.</p><p>Spike tugged his hand and led him toward the open doorway. When they entered they were in a small private room that was dim and fitted with a U-shaped booth and table. On the table was a bucket of champagne and the two of them sat down opposite each other in the booth. Spike sniffed the champagne and then poured them each a glass.</p><p>Xander stared at the champagne and wanted nothing more then to drink it; but, he knew better. His life fell apart when he drank. He'd nearly died, twice this year. He bit his lip and stared at the flute as Spike slid it towards him. Xander wanted nothing more then to drink the liquid courage since he was nervous and didn't really know what they were doing in the club tonight. It took all his willpower not to reach out and accept the drink.</p><p>Xander's thoughts froze as the door opened and he looked up. Drusilla stood in the doorway. She stared at Spike and then glanced at him before returning her vision to Spike. She softly closed the door behind her and took a step into the room. </p><p>Recalling the last time he'd seen the vampiress was when she was bewitched and obsessed with him, Xander shifted his gaze to Spike. He recalled the other reality’s Spike telling him about Drusilla’s spell... He wondered what was really going on. When the vampiress spoke, Xander turned back to face her.</p><p>Drusilla smiled wickedly at her child, "Send your puppy home, Spike."</p><p>Spike blinked at Drusilla and then nodded, "Right. Of course, Dru,"</p><p>Xander’s face whipped to Spike. He felt like his heart dropped to the floor. He watched Spike stand up and beckon him out of the booth. Xander no longer felt like he was in his body as he stared at the vampire.</p><p>Spike snapped his fingers, "Come on. Let's go."</p><p>Xander bit his tongue to keep from saying anything. He tried to remind himself that this was the whole reason they were in the club in the first place. Maybe this was how Spike would take it down from the inside. Stranger things had happened.</p><p>He stood up from the booth and followed the vampire into the hallway. They walked in silence towards the flickering emergency exit sign while Drusilla stayed within the room. All Xander could think of was that Spike was no longer holding his hand.</p><p>The vampire pushed open the door and looked at him. Xander swallowed and then stepped outside. Spike's face was passive and Xander couldn't read anything in it. He didn't know if this was a ruse or if Spike was really choosing Drusilla over him. He made sure his displeasure was visible on his face as he stepped away from the door and into the cool night air. </p><p>Xander glanced around to see himself in an alley. He turned back to look at Spike but the vampire closed the door before he could see his face.</p><p>Xander huffed and then took a deep breath as he looked around. He couldn't help but feeling like leaving Spike with Drusilla suddenly negated everything they'd been doing up until now. Unless, everything they’d been doing up until now was the ruse, Xander thought.</p><p>Knowing in his heart that there was no way Spike would screw over his Sire, he conceded that it was probably he who was being fucked over.</p><p>He scuffed his feet as he started home. </p><p>Xander didn't recognize the ally he was in, which surprised him. He was getting to know the back alleys of Sunnydale fairly well since Spike started chasing him down them all the time. Xander wondered why he'd never seen this one before. He tried to figure out where he was in relation to the front of the club as he followed the ally out to the road. He crossed the street and glanced back, stopping dead in his tracks. He could no longer see the ally. Instead, there stood a large cement parkade.</p><p>Intrigued, Xander walked back towards the parkade. He walked through it and found himself back in the alley. Xander returned to the parkade side and made a mental note to tell Buffy about it.</p><p>Deciding there was no time like the present, he decided to wander over and tell Buffy about the secret alley now. But, after walking a block in her direction, he changed his mind. The feeling of betrayal was still fresh and Xander didn’t know if he could talk to his friend just yet. He made a detour and decided he’d rather go home and mope. He was bummed out. He'd been soaring at such great heights at the beginning of the evening. Kissing, and feeding his vampire in the shadows. Now, though, Xander felt the opposite. It stung that Spike told him to leave. It stung that Spike chose Drusilla over him.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander woke up to a phone call from Willow. She was excited that it was the day of their camping trip. He'd forgotten since he’d been so focused on the new vampire drama. He didn’t let this on to his friend, though, and told her he’d be ready to go in an hour. After he hung up, Xander scrambled to get his shit together. He stood waiting, coffee in hand, on the curb as Giles pulled up. </p><p>The group pooled resources to rent a large white van for transport. The girls were all smiles in their seats as Xander threw his gear in the back. Giles, on the other hand, appeared stiffer then usual. Xander crawled inside and sat with Buffy in the back seat. </p><p>As they hit the road, Xander couldn't help but feel bummed out that Spike wasn't coming along like they’d planned. He thought to tell Buffy about his night with Spike and Drusilla at the demon club, but bit his tongue when Buffy reminded Giles that she wasn't talking, or even thinking, about slayer stuff at all this weekend.</p><p>Xander knew he should tell her about Spike and Dru, but he also didn't want to take these two days from her. He hoped nothing awful happened this weekend as he tried to push the thought from his mind.</p><p>They arrived to the outskirts of town and entered the campsite. There were tents and RV's in scattered lots and Giles slowly drove them through the winding road towards the waterfront. They parked in their reserved campsite and everyone hopped out and stretched. They started talking excitedly as they began to set up their campsite.</p><p>Buffy and Willow quickly set up their shared tent, while Giles and Xander each set up their own. Once everyone was done, and all the chairs were set up and coolers pulled out, Xander and Buffy argued over who got to start the fire. </p><p>Willow covertly pointed at the fire pit and magically lit it and Xander and Buffy both stopped to glare at the witch before they each took seats around the firepit.</p><p>The rest of the day, the gang spent their time  playing in the sun down by the water or lazing about with Giles in the campsite. When night covered them, everyone pulled on sweatpants and long sleeve shirts before spraying one another down with bug spray.</p><p>Xander went off into the woods for a pee. He zipped up his cargo pants and then jumped as a hand covered his mouth. He tried to shout against it, and then stilled as he was spun around to see Spike. Xander gasped for breath when Spike removed his hand.</p><p>"Shit, you scared me," he said.</p><p>Spike grinned and pulled the human away from the acidic smell of urine. </p><p>Xander followed the vampire as they moved deeper into the woods. </p><p>Spike eventually slowed to a stop and pinned Xander up against a tree. The two stared at one another until Spike moved in for a kiss.</p><p>Xander's mind raced along side his heart as the two of them kissed. He pulled his head to the side to gasp in air and couldn't help but grin as the vampire moved to suck on the mark on his throat. </p><p>Flushing with excitement, Xander grabbed Spike's face to pull him into another kiss.</p><p>Spike grinned against the mortal's mouth.</p><p>They continued kissing, taking breath breaks, until Spike pulled away. He leaned his forehead against Xander’s and gazed deep into his eyes. </p><p>Xander licked his lips, "I thought you chose Dru,"</p><p>Spike squinted, "Over you?"</p><p>Xander nodded.</p><p>Spike lowered his mouth to the human's ear, "Never,"</p><p>Xander shivered and reached his arms around the vampire's neck. He pulled him closer and Spike kissed his neck again before the two carried on that way up against the tree for quite some time.</p><p>Xander eyelids shone red and he opened them. There was a light shining in his face and he blinked repeatedly as he pulled away from the delectable vampire. </p><p>Spike swatted at the little blue light that flit around them. The two of them disengaged from one another as Spike tried to catch the tiny flickering light in his hand</p><p>Xander caught Spike's arm, "Don't bother, it's Willow."</p><p>Spike looked confused, but shrugged. </p><p>"Lead us back," Xander said.</p><p>The tiny blue light moved away from them and Spike linked his hand with Xander's as they followed the guiding light.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>At Xander's insistence, Spike tried his first smore. The other human’s watched it happen, in all it’s sticky glory. The vampire had to then go wash his hands and face.</p><p>Spike didn't participate in any card games with the gang, but instead sat next to Xander all night laughing at the group's antics. From what Spike saw, everyone was drinking alcohol except for Xander. The vampire assumed Giles was the bootlegger.</p><p>After a few hours of playing cards and listening to music, Xander moved away from the firepit to climb into his tent. Spike watched him go. Then he watched as the girls followed suit and crawled into their tent not long after.</p><p>He lit a smoke and watched as Rupert sat around poking the fire for a bit before he drenched it in water. As soon as the old man was tucked up in his tent, Spike sucked back another cigarette and then crawled into Xander's tent. He awkwardly situated himself to lay down next to the human burrito and then he pulled on the sleeping bag and rolled a sleepy Xander into his arms. </p><p>The mortal woke enough to kiss Spike before he closed his eyes again and fell back asleep.</p><p>Spike, on the other hand, spent the night listening to the water burbling, owls hooting, and Xander's steady breath. When dawn broke and the birds started chirping, Spike lay listening to the ambience as he started to doze.</p><p>Xander woke up to pee and Spike blinked his eyes open to watch him crawl out of the tent. The vampire listened as the human walked into the bushes. Then he grimaced as the smell vaguely assaulted him. He listened to the mortal walk back and then he watched Xander reenter the tent.</p><p>Xander zipped up the door and crawled back into his sleeping bag. He beckoned the vampire inside it with him with a sleepy smile.</p><p>"C'mere. It's two sleeping bags zipped together. You'll fit." He said in a groggy voice.</p><p>Spike acquiesced and Xander rolled over into little spoon once Spike was zipped into the sleeping bag with him. With the vampire latched onto his back, Xander fell back to sleep.</p><p>Warming exponentially, Spike dozed. When the sun finally rose, his mind quit.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander woke up and ate breakfast with his friends. They spent the day swimming and tanning; goofing off and relaxing. Yet, all the while, his thoughts persistently returned to the vampire sleeping in his tent. </p><p>When the sun began to set, Xander saw his tent rustle. He waited until everyone was occupied before he stole away for some kisses. He and Spike made out until Willow called out for him.</p><p>When Xander revealed himself to his friends, they all sat down to play another game. Buffy chose Truth or Dare and Giles made a point to soundly opt out. The trio played with ever increasing odds until Xander revealed, with the help of his friends nagging him, that he'd met a guy that he was really into. </p><p>When he was asked by both girls in unison who it was, Xander said he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. He wasn’t exactly copesetic with the whole being bi thing yet. He admitted that he was actually surprised that he’d told him as much as he did.</p><p>Spike lay in the tent listening to the panic within the mortal's heart. His own feelings for the human growing exponentially as he eavesdropped. Xander was falling for him, he was sure of it. He grinned.</p><p>After a while, Spike found a book in the whelp's backpack and started reading it while he waited for nightfall. He got so absorbed by the fantasy tale that it was already dark by the time he realized he could leave the tent. </p><p>Spike sidled up next to Xander at the picnic table and the two shared a look in the dim lantern light. Spike slipped his arm around the human's waist and kissed him. Then he pulled away moments later, when Xander pushed him away. Spike continued to caress the mortal’s arm with his hand until Xander stepped away from him completely. Spike squinted and looked up as Willow approached. He dropped his hand.</p><p>Xander looked at Spike nervously as he reached out for a bag of chips. </p><p>Spike stared at him curiously, but couldn’t rid himself of the small smile on his face. Even though the human was ashamed of him, he still liked him. It was a small win.</p><p>Xander returned the vampire's smile and then bit his lip as he glanced at Willow while she approached the picnic table. Xander gave her a smile before wandering back to his chair by the fire. He glanced over at Spike and then looked over at Buffy who spoke to him.</p><p>Willow scanned the offerings on the food table as Spike stared at the witch. He pondered why Xander didn't want her to know about them. She'd switched teams herself; she would, of course, understand. Then it occurred to him that it wasn't because he was a man. It was because he was a vampire. Xander was ashamed he was a demon. Something Spike couldn't rightly change.</p><p>The vampire pursed his lips as he watched the witch fill a paper plate with Twizzlers and grab a fruity wine cooler from the ice chest. He turned away in a huff and wandered off. He entered the woods and started walking. He was just about to pull out a smoke but he froze and pocketed it before hiding behind a bush. He watched a group of demons and humans advancing into the campground and saw that the lot of them were armed to the teeth. </p><p>Spike looked back at the humans camping behind him and snorted. They were useless. The lot of them. They were drinking. Not only that, but even if they were in fighting condition, Spike knew they’d be no match for guns. He sighed and sloughed off his jacket as he crept closer.</p><p>He counted 28 thugs in the advancing group. Spike waited and watched them pass ahead of him on the tree lined path. Once they were all in front of him, he covertly pulled a demon from the back into his hiding spot and snapped it’s neck. He stole his gun then stood up and shot three guys in the head before ducking for cover. Spike took out another two demons from his hiding place and then grabbed another fallen demon's gun before jumping across the gravel path spinning in a 360 flip. Spike took four shots while spinning and when he landed he grinned when he saw he’d hit his marks.</p><p>He kept moving, taking out five more demons before he got shot. Spike roared as the bullet pierced his flesh. Adrenalin tore through him and he tore out the throat of the guy in front of him with his teeth before holding the corpse up in front of him as a shield.</p><p>Xander and Giles turned to one another as they heard the gunshots. Buffy stood up as well, but she sat back down when Giles motioned her to. Frantic, Giles told Willow and Buffy to stay next to the fire pit while he and Xander went to investigate. Then the two men rushed off into the woods. They slowed as they approached the gunfight. Giles put his arm up to block Xander from stepping forward and then the old man put up a magical shield to block projectiles. The two of them watched the firefight from afar.</p><p>Xander looked around and shivered. It was spooky and dark. He kept seeing shadows moving in between the trees. Then he saw Spike flying in the air doing a corkscrew while holding two guns out and killing two different guys at the same time. The blond landed and killed another guy before stealing the dead guys guns and continuing his carnage.</p><p>Xander watched with his eyes wide. He was both horrified and awestruck. He glanced at Giles to gauge his reaction, but the Englishman was squinting through his specs at the show. Xander glanced back at Spike and started a tally. He couldn't believe the number of guys that Spike was killing.</p><p>Finally, when there was one guy left, Giles and Xander watched as Spike kneeled on the last guy's head to interrogate him.</p><p>Giles let down the barrier as they watched Spike shoot the last guy in the face. The vampire then dropped the gun and fell down onto his back on the ground. He heaved in breath as he chuckled up at the sky.</p><p>Xander looked over at Giles and then started running towards the fallen vampire. He jogged the last few steps up to Spike and stared down at him, "Holy shit! You look like Swiss cheese."</p><p>Spike opened his eyes. He had a pained expression on his face, but he tried to mask it with a smirk.</p><p>"Wanna eat me?"</p><p>Xander's eye's widened. A flush of excitement and embarrassment ran through him. He looked back at Giles before glancing down at Spike. </p><p>Spike tilted his face to look at Giles approaching and then he stared up at Xander and raised his arm.</p><p>"Help me up," he said.</p><p>Xander reached out and pulled the vampire to his feet. Spike put his arm around the mortal’s shoulders and leaned heavily against him. Xander slipped his arm around his waist to steady him.</p><p>"Who were they?” Giles said, “What were they after?"</p><p>"Me," Spike said, "I'm as surprised as you are, mate."</p><p>Giles raised his eyebrows but remained silent.</p><p>"That was like 24 guys!" Xander said, "Wow, can’t say I'm not impressed."</p><p>Spike grinned, "28,"</p><p>Xander scanned the plethora of dead bodies and grimaced, "We should get out of here.”</p><p>Giles nodded, “Yes. Let's,"</p><p>The three returned to their campsite and Xander maneuvered the vampire into his tent as Giles rejoined the girls. </p><p>Xander grabbed the first aid kit, and a metal bowl half-filled with water before he zipped himself in with the bullet-ridden vampire. </p><p>"This will hurt like a bitch," Xander said, "Sorry, we don't have any booze… well, besides wine coolers."</p><p>Spike lay on his back and stared up at his human, "I'll be fine,"</p><p>Xander moved closer and the vampire snaked out a hand to grab his wrist. Xander let himself be pulled down for a kiss, then he righted himself and twisted to grab a pair of tweezers out of the first aid kit. He started fishing out his first bullet and Spike groaned and closed his eyes. Xander extracted the bullet and dropped it into the metal bowl beside him. </p><p>Xander started the process delicately, trying not to hurt the vampire, but after a few bullets were extracted he started getting into a groove and he grew a little more careless. </p><p>Spike gritted his teeth and stared at the human's face while he worked. He cursed once or twice but otherwise kept his teeth clenched.</p><p>"I wasn't expecting you to be so good with guns," Xander said, "You looked like you should be in a movie,"</p><p>Spike shrugged, "I'm alright. Don't normally like guns. Don't like getting shot."</p><p>"Really?" Xander joked as he pulled out another bullet, "I can't fathom why."</p><p>Spike winced as he heard the bullet drop into the metal bowl.</p><p>Xander got the vampire to roll over and then he started extracting bullets from the expanse of his back. When he was finished he stared at the hole in the butt of Spike's black jeans. Spike turned to look at him over his shoulder. Xander sat immobile with his lip between his teeth. </p><p>"Want me to shuck my pants?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander nodded.</p><p>Spike fumbled and worked his pants down to reveal his lily-white bum.</p><p>Xander stared at the perfect globes in front of him and gulped. His eyes strayed to the crevice of the vampire's ass and he closed his eyes. He thought about sliding his dick inside and couldn’t stop his imagination from running away with the thought. </p><p>Xander took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He focused on working the bullet out. </p><p>He dropped the bullet into the water bowl and noticed Spike had a bullet in his calf as well. He moved and pulled down the vampire's jeans to his ankles. Spike looked over his shoulder at the human and Xander returned the look. Xander couldn't resist raking his eyes down the vampire's entire body before he returned his attention to the last bullet wound.</p><p>"I think that's all of them," he said and dropped the last bullet in the bowl.</p><p>Spike flexed his muscles and Xander watched fascinated.</p><p>"Think so," Spike said.</p><p>Xander counted the bullets in the bowl, "Fifteen."</p><p>"Could've been worse," Spike murmured.</p><p>Spike rolled over and kicked off his boots and the rest of his jeans. </p><p>Xander backed away and froze. He stared down at the dimly illuminated vampire laying nude before him. He licked his lips as he took in the view. Spike's body looked like a statue.</p><p>Spike pulled the sleeping bag over his bullet hole-ridden body and Xander came back to himself. He cleaned up the blood and moved everything outside the door of the tent.</p><p>He then took off his shirt and crawled into the sleeping bag next to the vampire. He tensed as Spike’s cold hands grabbed him to pull him close. </p><p>“God, you’re freezing!” Xander whispered.</p><p>He squirmed away from Spike’s dancing touch and the vampire chuckled and kissed his neck. Xander presented his neck and Spike stilled before moving forward to delicately slice his fangs into the mortal's neck. </p><p>Spike drank deeply, forgetting himself, and then he lapped at the wound before leaving it to clot.</p><p>Xander was dizzy despite laying down and he started to sweat. Panic laced his voice, "Uh, Spike?"</p><p>Spike pulled away from the mortal, concerned. He looked at him, put his palm to his forehead, and then quickly stood up to scramble into his clothes before leaving the tent. </p><p>Xander watched it all happen from an objective point of view. His vision was blurring, and he felt like he was about to blackout. </p><p>When Spike returned to the tent, he lifted Xander into a sitting position and put a Juice box straw into his mouth.</p><p>As soon as the juice hit his tongue, Xander sucked the Juice box back in gulps. Grateful he was no longer on the of blacking out, Xander reached out for the candy Spike handed him.</p><p>His body lax, Xander lay propped up against his vampire chewing with his eyes closed. He smiled and swallowed, eyes closing as Spike nuzzled against his hair.</p><p>The vampire sat silently reprimanding himself for drinking too much.</p><p>When Xander looked up to kiss him, it took Spike off guard. He watched Xander pull away from him and roll over to lay down. Spike maneuvered his body alongside Xander’s in the sleeping bag. Xander was asleep seconds later.</p><p>Spike lay there listening to the mortal breath as he reprimanded himself. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. He felt awful for draining Xander, and dumb for feeding on the human no less than 20 feet in front of the bloody slayer. </p><p>Spike grew restless. He climbed out of the sleeping bag and pulled on his boots. He left the tent, making sure the mortal was bundled up. He needed a smoke.</p><p>He walked away from the camp, on a mission to look for his duster. He accidently caught the slayer’s eye and she called out, "Hey, where's Xander?"</p><p>Spike called back, "Sleeping in the tent. Drank too much."</p><p>He didn't elaborate on who drank too much.</p><p>Buffy nodded, grabbed a can of cider out of the cooler, and went back to the fire pit.</p><p>Spike spun around, headed into the bushes and scoured the terrain for his coat. He eventually found it and slid it on. He lit a smoke and wandered over to where he'd had the gunfight not even an hour before.</p><p>The bodies were all gone and Spike stood there wondering who’d cleaned them up.</p><p>Spike’s enemy list was lengthening the more he chased after Jamie Caledonia. But, if there was one thing Spike ever learned from Angelus, it was that finding more enemies always conveyed he was heading in the right direction.</p><p>Spike returned to the campsite and wandered around it to keep the area secure. After a while, Buffy showed up and started walking alongside him. She offered him a smore and he declined. Buffy shrugged and ate the offered smore before she got to the point.</p><p>"Thanks for patrolling," she said.</p><p>Spike glanced at the blond as she licked her sticky fingers, "M'not patrolling,"</p><p>"O-kay...” she said, “But what's this?"</p><p>She pointed to the circle they were walking around the campsite.</p><p>Spike sighed and glanced around, "Right. Fine. M'patrolling. No thanks needed."</p><p>Buffy shook her head and smiled. She finished cleaning her sticky fingers with her mouth while she gave the vampire the side-eye. Eventually, she said, "I'm sure Xander's thankful,"</p><p>Spike stopped walking and looked at the Slayer. Buffy stopped beside him and stared at him.</p><p>"What's that supposed ta mean?"</p><p>Buffy shrugged, "I mean, since he's comatose in the tent and all. I'm sure he's grateful you're watching out for him."</p><p>Spike stared at the blonde. </p><p>Buffy stared back.</p><p>"It's your fault he's sleeping, after all," she said.</p><p>Spike glanced at the tent where Harris lay then back at the Slayer. He wondered how all this was gonna play out. Was she going to fight him? He didn't want to lose Xander and he reminded himself that the girl before him was very important to the human. Spike hoped he was just as important. He bit his tongue and tried to be as nice as he could to get out of this somehow.</p><p>"Right, you caught me," Spike said, "I overfed... He's alive."</p><p>The vampire and slayer stared at one another until Buffy glanced away and rubbed her neck. Spike noticed Angel's mark on the girl's throat. </p><p>Spike glanced to the side and hated himself as he said it, but he forced himself to spit it out. He spoke softly, "It was a mistake. It won't happen again."</p><p>Buffy scanned the vampire's face, shocked, "Well, I don't know if that's possible," she said, "But, it’s Xander’s choice."</p><p>Spike stared at the slayer and the two locked eyes. Buffy looked down and then she glanced back at the tent. Her suspicions were confirmed. Her best friend was involved with a vampire. Not any vampire. This vampire. Buffy no longer had to wonder where Xander spent his free time. Now, she knew. </p><p>Buffy turned back to look at Spike. She brushed her hair from her face and pointed a menacing finger at him. "Of course, if you hurt him, you're dead." </p><p>Spike stared wearily at the Slayer.</p><p>"Not intending to,"</p><p>Buffy stared at Spike and nodded her head before she wandered off.</p><p>Spike continued to walk his path around the campsite as he thought about their conversation. He was surprised she knew about them already. He didn't think her the brightest Slayer there ever was, but he thought her surprisingly astute to pick up the fact that Xander and him were together. </p><p>Especially since they weren't technically together yet. Neither talked about what was happening between them and Spike decided to change that now that he had the slayers half-arsed blessing.</p><p>Spike vowed to himself that if Xander told him he wanted to be his then he'd do anything in his power to be the vampire that deserved that love and devotion. </p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike heard Xander rustle out of the tent and he turned to watch from a distance as the mortal wandered over to his friend’s to chat around the fire pit. Spike continued paroling until he saw Xander wander into the woods to pee. </p><p>The vampire moved through the trees towards the mortal as Xander piddled against a tree. When Xander was done, he turned to scan the dark campground. </p><p>Spike grinned as he approached. He could see the mortal searching the darkness for him yet could tell he was unable to see him. </p><p>Spike didn’t shadow his noises as he approached the human.</p><p>Xander heard the crunch of Spike’s boots coming towards him and he move towards the sound. The two met up in the dark, pressed up against each other, arms wrapping around each other’s waists, as they kissed.</p><p>Xander smiled against the vampire’s mouth, before pulling away to hugged him.</p><p>“Hey you,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike held the mortal up against his body. He hadn’t expected the hug. He swallowed as he held the warm human close to him. He felt Xander sag against him, in his weakened state, and Spike held on to him as if he was precious. </p><p>Xander groaned as he straightened out of the hug. He reached up and put his hands around the vampire’s neck before pulling Spike’s face closer to kiss him again.</p><p>Spike lifted his hand to caress the mortal’s face. The whole world fell away. All that he cared about was right there in his arms. His beloved. Gods, how he pined for this human!</p><p>Shocked by his thoughts, Spike pulled away from the kiss to look at his human’s face. He stared into his dark brown eyes and wanted nothing more then to take him home to the Stelle house and spend all night and day in bed with him. He wanted to fall deeper in love with the mortal. He wanted the mortal to love him back.</p><p>Spike licked his lips and watched as Xander shifted his weight to pull away. Xander took another step back and grinned as he sucked in breath.</p><p>Spike's gaze moved over the human's face, “You alright, luv?"</p><p>Xander nodded, "M'fine... I should probably sit down, though."</p><p>Spike lifted the human up into his arms and Xander blushed embarrassed but couldn't refuse the aid. He stuffed his face into the vampire’s neck as Spike carried him back to the campsite. The vampire set him down once they reached the tree line.</p><p>Xander leaned against a nearby tree and stared at Spike, "So, what were you up to while I was out?"</p><p>Spike shrugged, "Waiting for you to wake up,"</p><p>Xander grinned, "Really? Because Buffy said you were patrolling."</p><p>Spike glanced off to the side and shrugged again, "Nothing better ta do."</p><p>"Thank you," Xander said.</p><p>Spike stared at him, "How do you feel?"</p><p>Xander shrugged, "Hungry. Tired, but not sleepy."</p><p>"Let's fire some food, then, before the watcher douses it."</p><p>Xander nodded and started walking towards the fire pit.</p><p>Spike stayed close to the mortal in case he fell. Then he shifted away from him as they approached Giles sitting before the fire. The girls were missing.</p><p>Xander dropped his weight into a camp chair and Spike wandered over to the row of coolers around the picnic table. He opened and closed them, searching for food. He pulled out a couple of hot dogs and buns and placed them on a nearby paper plate. On his way back to the fire pit, he grabbed a couple cooking sticks that were leaned against a rock. </p><p>Spike sat down next to Xander and passed him a hot dog on a stick. Spike then stuck his own hot dog on a stick and stuck it into the fire.</p><p>Xander looked at the vampire as he held out his hot dog over the fire. He shot Spike a small smile, “Thanks,”</p><p>Giles scanned Xander's face, "Are you alright?"</p><p>Xander nodded and shifted his grin over the fire pit towards the Englishman.</p><p>"Fine and dandy, G-man,"</p><p>Xander's grin was infectious and caused Giles to smile in return. </p><p>Spike snorted as he watched Xander rush his cooking job and burn the outside of his meat tube.</p><p>Uncaring about the state of his dog, Xander situated the charred meat in a dry bun before taking a huge bite. He chewed his half-raw hot dog gratefully. He was starving. </p><p>Spike continued the rotisserie of the other hot dog until Xander finished eating. Then he passed over the stick over without a word.</p><p>Xander grinned at the vampire, his eyes twinkling, "Thanks,"</p><p>Spike shifted his chair back and sat back to watch the fire. He listened as the mortal wolfed down his food next to him. Giles sat across the fire watching them and Spike made a point to avoid his gaze. The old man finally stopped his inspection, when the girls returned from their trek to the outhouse.</p><p>"Xander!" Willow said, "I was wondering when you'd wake up. It's our last night out here!"</p><p>The redhead moved to sit in the chair beside Xander. Spike stood from his seat and slipped into the wooded darkness. Xander watched him go from the corner of his eye, then he grinned at Buffy who plopped down in the vampire's unoccupied spot.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander lay awake within his tent. He wasn't tired. The girls had already gone to bed, followed by Giles soon after. Xander stayed up for a while longer, hoping Spike would join him. But when it started to rain, Xander doused the fire and crawled into his tent alone. </p><p>Xander turned on his portable lantern and cleaned up his tent before he slid into his sleeping bag and grabbed his book. He saw a page corner bookmarked and he smiled thinking about Spike reading it. Something warmed him from the inside. Not only because the vampire read it but that he planned to come back to it at some point.</p><p>Xander read for a while until the sound of the rain became deafening. He set the book down on his chest and listened to the rain pour down against his tent. </p><p>Not knowing how much time passed, Xander froze when suddenly his tent began to unzip. His heart shuddered in fear, wondering if the bad guys with guns were back; but he soon relaxed as he noticed Spike's black fingernails pulling back the tent fabric. </p><p>The vampire crawled inside and zipped up the tent before he turned around to look at Xander. His hair flopped in his eyes and he pushed the wet mess back with both hands before he shucked his leather duster near the door and laid down against one side of mortal.</p><p>Xander shifted aside on the air mattress to make room for the soaking wet vampire. Once the two were situated, staring at one another in the dim lamplight, Spike spoke.</p><p>"Hey,"</p><p>Xander smiled, "Hey"</p><p>"Wasn't expecting the downpour,” Spike said, “Waited for it to ease up... but it didn’t."</p><p>Xander stared at the Spike, "I'm glad you came back,"</p><p>Spike smiled as he leaned forward. He held himself up, trying not to drip on his human as he kissed him sweetly. </p><p>Xander reached out, uncaring of the vampire's wetness, and pulled him closer. The two grinned against each other’s mouths as they continued kissing. </p><p>Wide awake, trapped in a tent, with nothing to do, the two of them spent the night kissing and fooling around. </p><p>At some point, the rain stopped.</p><p>Xander woke up wrapped up with Spike inside the sleeping bag with him. He smiled and stretched, noticing he'd left the lantern on all night. He shifted to turn it off and as he reached out the vampire pulled unconsciously at his body. Seeing no reason to get up, Xander basked in the cuddle as he thought about the night before. </p><p>Spike drank too much from him. Xander knew the gravity of the situation. He thought about the fact that he could be dead right now. He was really glad he wasn't.</p><p>Xander thought about the fact that he was risking his life as he lay in a vampire's arms. He wondered how long they could defy the odds. The farmer eventually must kill the livestock, when down on hard times. Life wasn’t always rainbows. </p><p>Xander worried himself sick as he lay there warm, cozy, and feeling wonderful. He rolled over, perturbed at the contrasting feelings within himself, and settled in to look at the vampire. </p><p>He scanned the planes of Spike’s face. He inspected his nose and brow. He stared at the his mouth. Xander lay there admiring the vampire, all the while worrying that he might actually die by his hands... eventually.</p><p>Xander stared at Spike and figured that if it happened tomorrow then he’d have to believe the experience was worth it. If he died, at least he'd die happy. What good was living 80 long years if all of it was lonely and miserable? If he lived a life minus joy, was it even a life worth living?</p><p>Xander stared at Spike and saw a future. He felt good when Spike was around him. He wanted him. And he could tell that Spike wanted him too. They liked each other. A lot. The vampire was surprising him daily with how gentle and caring he was.</p><p>He thought of his experience in the other reality and recalled "Master" Spike hurting him and demanding things of him. Spike wasn’t like that with him. Spike was sweet.</p><p>Xander figured that since they were together in the other reality, it really wasn’t so unbelievable that the two of them could be together in this dimension too. They seemed to have a future in multiple different worlds, however it ended up playing out.</p><p>Xander reached up and caressed Spike's cheek. He leaned in and kissed the sleeping vampire on the lips and then pulled back to untangle himself from his embrace. He shifted to pull on his tshirt that got removed last night. He then awkwardly climbed out of the tent and saw the girls huddled around the fire pit. </p><p>Giles looked up from his spot in front of the camp stove, "Eggs?"</p><p>"Please," Xander said.</p><p>He stretched as he moseyed over to the girls and plopped down in a camp chair.</p><p>"Good morning, ladies," he said.</p><p>"Morning," Willow said.</p><p>"Someone was up late," Buffy said.</p><p>Xander cleared his throat, "Oh, uh- yeah, I left my lantern on."</p><p>Buffy nodded as she took a drink of her coffee, "Mmhmm,"</p><p>Xander stared at the blond for a moment, wondering what she knew, before he stood up, "God, that coffee looks great,"</p><p>Willow pointed to the coffee station, "Help yourself,"</p><p>Xander stood fixing himself a drink while he wondered if Buffy knew about him and Spike. He shook his head as he thought of it. No, Buffy didn’t know anything. She couldn't. If she did, she'd have brought it up and rubbed it in his face with a vengeance for how shitty he'd been to her regarding the whole Angel situation. </p><p>Xander dropped the thought from his mind and moved with his coffee back over to the fire pit. He plopped down into a camp chair and the three friends sat in easy silence until Giles told them to grab their plates.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>At 11am, Xander woke up the vampire and told him he had to hide in the back of the van while he finished packing up. Spike used his leather duster to run from cover to cover and tucked himself into a ball in the back of the van. Xander packed up his tent, which was one of the last things to get stowed away, and stuffed it into the van from the side door. He made sure not to burn the vampire as he finished packing everything up.</p><p>With one last look around the campsite, to make sure everything was piled in, the group started heading home. </p><p>Giles dropped off Xander first. Xander needed to make a couple of trips with his stuff and during one of them, Spike flew out of the back of the van and disappeared into the Harris household.</p><p>Xander stared at the open back door of the van and watched as a plastic bowl twirled in circles on the ground. He shook his head as he glanced at the house, then he repacked the stuff that fell out of the van during Spike's great escape. </p><p>Xander grabbed the rest of his things and thanked his friends for a great camping trip before they drove off. He walked the rest of his gear indoors and then closed the door behind him. </p><p>Once his eyes adjusted, he noticed the first round of camping gear missing from his parents living room. Xander continued downstairs and dropped his load of stuff next to the pile that Spike left in the center of the basement floor. </p><p>"Thanks," Xander said.</p><p>He walked over to the vampire sitting on the couch and he flopped down to lay with his head on the vampire's thigh. Xander threw an arm over his face as Spike flicked on the TV with the remote. Xander groaned and rolled away from the flashing lights. He stared at Spike's stomach and then closed his eyes. Soon fingers started to play with his hair and before he knew it he was coaxed to sleep.</p><p>Spike watched the telly until he grew tired. He got up, moved the human to the Barcalounger, and pulled out the hideabed. He threw down a sheet, laid the human down on one side and then found a blanket. Spike kicked off his boots and then climbed into the uncomfortable bed. He pulled the warm mortal close, pulled the blanket over the two of them and soon fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>When Xander woke up, he rolled over with a small groan. His back hurt and he whimpered aloud how much he hated his bed. He swiveled in the arms encircling him and glanced at the sleeping vampire. A smile curved his lips and he laid his head down on the unmoving chest. He snaked his arm around the vampire's jean-clad hips and snuggled closer. His eyes slid closed as he fell back asleep.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Wine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Xander walked through town as if he was Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain. He was walking from the Stelle house towards the Crawford street mansion and he had an inordinate amount of pep in his step. Spike and him just had sex again and he felt like he was walking on air from it. It hadn’t hurt that it started off with a sensual massage. God, Spike’s hands were amazing.</p><p>Xander looked both ways before jogging across the street. He hopped up on the curb and started wishing he still had his skateboard. He’d got rid of it in a long time ago in garage sale after Jesse died. He thought idly about picking it up again and then glanced around as an eerie feeling came over him. He felt like he was being watched. The hairs on the back of his neck raised and he scanned the area. He quickened his pace and made sure to be on high alert as he crossed town.</p><p>Xander knocked and let himself into the Crawford street mansion. He turned around and looked back at the street but didn't see anything. He closed the door and leaned back against it in the dim light of the entrance way as he caught his breath. Shaking the ominous feeling away Xander reminded himself that it was still light out. Not only that, he was marked by a master vampire and he was currently walking into superhero headquarters. There was nothing for him to worry about.</p><p>He entered the main room and didn’t see anyone. He took a seat at the empty research table and glanced through a book that lay open before him.</p><p>Giles entered the room and paused, "Oh, hello,"</p><p>He carried his teacup and saucer with one hand as he entered the main room. He sat down in the chair he usually sat in. </p><p>"Any idea what's on the agenda today?" Xander said.</p><p>"No," Giles replied, "But I'm sure we'll learn soon enough."</p><p>Xander nodded and glanced down at the book in front of him again. In his peripheral vision, he watched Giles reached forward and pick up an open text from the table.</p><p>Xander’s idle mind instantly started thinking about Spike. He couldn't help it. They'd been spending every day together and most nights. Xander was growing attached the more he witnessed how different Spike was when they were intimate and alone. Not to mention the sex was amazing. Xander smiled to himself as his body filled with heat thinking about it.</p><p>He looked up as Willow and Buffy entered the room. They came to sit at the table with him and Xander stuffed the thoughts of his vampire into the back of his mind. </p><p>The three of them chatted while waiting for the LA group to show up. Each of them wondered why Faith would call a meeting in the middle of the afternoon.</p><p>Faith entered the room and stuck in the doorway. She shifted and leaned against the wall near the entrance as she stood watching the room.</p><p>Xander glanced at Buffy, but saw her staring at Faith. He turned to look at Faith and saw her staring directly at him. Xander swallowed and the hairs on the back of his neck raised. He stared at her, confused.</p><p>Xander glanced around the room, but swung back to look at Faith as she spoke.</p><p>"I've called this meeting because I have information about your resident evil vampire," Faith said.</p><p>Xander's mouth went dry as he stared at Faith. She was staring straight at him as she spoke.</p><p>"I have it on good authority that William the Bloody drained Virgil the Italian the other week,” she said, “And he cut out his tongue."</p><p>Xander stared, frozen. He blinked. ‘What?’</p><p>"The tarot reading psychic?" Willow said.</p><p>Faith nodded.</p><p>"Spike killed someone?" Buffy said.</p><p>Faith and Buffy stared at one another with a serious expression.</p><p>Xander watched the dynamics between the two slayers as his heart shattered. How could everything be so good between him and Spike, to the point the Xander wasn't even worried about the whole vampire business; and, at the same time, be so bad that he felt stupid for not expecting this to happen. </p><p>Xander reprimanded himself. What did he think Spike did when he left the house at night? Gods, he was an idiot.</p><p>"No." Faith said, "Virgil's alive. His daughter showed up just in time to get him to the hospital. Which is where I met him, actually... I got him to scribble down some notes about who attacked him and he described Bloody to a T."</p><p>Faith pulled a piece of paper out of her jacket as emphasis and moved forward to throw it on the research table. No one reached for it.</p><p>Xander’s eyes flicked between both slayers, while he bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to deny that Spike drained the psychic, but he couldn't be sure. He didn't talk to Spike about what the vampire did after dark. Xander was kicking himself for it, now.  </p><p>His thoughts were running a mile a minute. What would Spike need a Psychic for? Why would Spike even need to drink from the psychic? Xander was willingly feeding the vampire nearly every night and Spike had even told him before that Vampire's didn’t really need that much blood as long as it was of the human variety. Why would Spike drain a human, and jeopardize everything, knowing there were two slayers in town? Why now? Spike’s chip had been out for a while now, why didn’t this happen earlier? Nothing made any sense.</p><p>Xander couldn't wrap his head around Spike draining Virgil. It was Spike. He’d have just killed the man for fun. Why cut out his tongue? Why leave him alive? Xander didn’t think that Spike would be so stupid... Why would Spike leave the man alive to tattle to a slayer? What the hell did Spike need with a random tongue anyway?</p><p>"So...” Faith said, “When do we kill Xander's new boyfriend?"</p><p>Xander's head whipped up and he stared at Faith. He glared at her as a hush fell over the room.</p><p>Willow laughed, awkwardly, in the ensuing silence. </p><p>Xander swallowed thickly as he realized the cat was yanked out of the bag. He racked his mind for something to say when Giles saved him the trouble.</p><p>"Xander's boyfriend?"</p><p>Xander glanced at the ex-watched and then shifted his eyes around the room. Put on the spot, he felt humiliated and horrified. Everyone was staring at him.</p><p>Xander looked at Buffy and paused to take in her curious expression. She was looking at him differently than everyone else. It was in that split second that Xander figured out that Buffy already knew. Everyone else in the room was newly disgusted, but Buffy already knew about about them.</p><p>Xander blinked at her as he stared. He wondered how she knew. He wondered why she hadn't said anything. He wondered if she’d already threatened Spike. Maybe she had and the vampire just hadn't told him? Why hadn't she said anything?</p><p>Buffy sent Xander a small half smile and it suffused him with gratefulness. At least he had one person in his corner. He swallowed thickly and forced himself to look at Faith.</p><p>"Yeah... Something's going on between us," he said</p><p>Xander glanced down at the book in front of him, refraining from telling the others that he didn't exactly know what that ‘something’ was quite yet. He also didn’t mention the weird, broken feeling within him that told him that everything between him and Spike was now over.</p><p>Suddenly, all the good things that happened between them lost their shine. Xander couldn’t help thinking that all the kisses and sweet words, all the touching and caressing, all the things he appreciated the most were evaporating into thin air.</p><p>Xander felt his breath leave him. He felt like he wanted to cry. He forced himself to take a deep breath.</p><p>Glancing around the room, he saw Faith glaring at him with a stupid smirk on her face. Willow was in shock, open-mouthed. Giles was squinting and cleaning his glasses as he shook his head in disapproval. Buffy looked nonplussed and sad.</p><p>Xander pushed away from the table and stood up, “I need some air."</p><p>He kept his eyes on the floor as he left the room. He moved through the hall and left through the front door. He closed it behind himself softly and then sat down on the front stoop. He looked around and then dropped his head into his hands.</p><p>“Mother fucker,” he said.</p><p>Xander sat conflicted. A huge part of him believed that his friends were right. A vampire killing humans was a vampire that gets dead real fast. The thing was, there was this other huge part of him that found the whole idea preposterous. Why would this happen out of the blue? Now? The chip had been out for a while. Why did Spike wait so long to start killing again?</p><p>No longer self-conscious from all the judging stares, Xander's mind was running quicker. </p><p>He sat on the steps contemplating Spike being implicated in the attempted murder. He’d always known that as soon as Spike fed on a human Buffy would kill him. He’s always known that this was bound to happen. Spike was a vampire, it was in his nature. </p><p>Xander wondered what would happen now. Would both Slayers go after Spike? Even though Spike hadn't technically killed the psychic?</p><p>Xander bit his lip. He wondered if he should warn Spike? Would that be...</p><p>The door behind him opened and closed.</p><p>Xander’s thoughts petered out as he looked up to see Angel pull up his slacks and sit down next to him.</p><p>Xander scooted over a bit and glanced around noticing the sun had set.</p><p>The two glanced at each other before Xander looked away. After several uncomfortable moments, Xander spoke without prompting.</p><p>"Why didn't Spike just kill the guy?”</p><p>Angel stayed silent.</p><p>“Not that I would want him to,” Xander said, “but why wouldn't he?”</p><p>Xander turned to look at Angel, “We know Spike. This isn't his M.O. at all. When he came to town, do you remember what you said to us?"</p><p>Angel turned away and stared out into the darkness. He nodded, "I remember."</p><p>Xander stared at the profile of the vampire, "So... you don't think he did it?"</p><p>"Oh, no,” Angel said, “He for sure did it... I'm just wondering why he left the guy alive,"</p><p>“Oh,”</p><p>Xander stood up and walked down a few steps. He stopped, when Angel spoke to him.</p><p>"Are you in love with him?"</p><p>Xander bit his lip and didn’t turn around, "I don't know,"</p><p>There was a pause.</p><p>“Honest answer,” Angel said.</p><p>Xander stuffed his hands into his pockets and lowered his head as he finished walking down the stairs. He turned in the direction of the Stelle house out of habit. After a block, he realized where he was going, and he backtracked to head home to his parent’s house.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Angel stood before the rundown, charred house and glanced down at the slip of paper Willow gave him. He saw the address was correct and he headed up the rickety steps to knock on the front door. He listened and heard no movement in the house. There were no heartbeats. </p><p>Angel reached up to knock again and the door creaked open to reveal one bright blue eye followed by another.</p><p>"Can I come in?" Angel said.</p><p>Spike stared at his Grandsire and clenched his jaw. After a moment, he stepped back to open the door fully.</p><p>Angel stepped over the threshold and turned to watch Spike close the door. </p><p>Angel's nostrils flared and he glanced around. "What's that smell?"</p><p>Spike glared at Angel, "Why are you here?"</p><p>The vampires stared at one another in the foyer in a stand off of wills. Angel gave in first.</p><p>"Three things, actually. First, I want to know what's going on with the new demon club in town," Angel said.</p><p>“You mean my new club?” Spike said.</p><p>The blond smirked and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the wall.</p><p>"Well,” Spike said, “Once I figure out how to kill Buffy's ex boy-toy, that is."</p><p>Angel squinted, "What?"</p><p>"Yep. Slayer's ex stays up like a bad habit, he does. Immortal. What can ya do?"</p><p>Spike watched Angel processed that.</p><p>"It’s him who’s running it,” Spike said, “Club's got a grandfather spell on it. Ownership goes to whoever kills the previous owner."</p><p>"Fancy that," Angel said.</p><p>"You gonna stop me?" Spike said.</p><p>Angel pursed his lips, "Not if you answer my other questions."</p><p>Spike swallowed as his mind immediately went to Xander. He reached into his coat and pulled out a fag. He lit it before glancing at his Grandsire.</p><p>"It's a slave market." Spike said, "And I'll shut it down once I own it. Won't have no problems with the slayer, nor you."</p><p>“Alright, enough about the club,” Angel said, “Tell me about Dru.”</p><p>Spike shrugged, “Nothing to tell. Bird’s still senile. See her sometimes...”</p><p>Angel stared at Spike.</p><p>“Fine, third question. Why have you been snacking on psychics?"</p><p>Spike's eye's bulged. He hadn't expected this to get back to him. He licked his lip as he assessed Angel.</p><p>"Dru showed up and demanded a favor. Can’t deny a Sire, ya? Said she wanted to kill a witch and had me tag along. Hypnotized the git and cut his tongue out. I took a sip before we left.”</p><p>"Why’d you leave him alive?" Angel said.</p><p>Spike stared at Angel as he smoked. After a second, he looked away, “Didn't wanna get staked over some ruddy psychic now did I?"</p><p>Angel stared, "One more question,"</p><p>Spike pursed his lips, "You’ve already had three."</p><p>"How do you plan to kill the club owner?"</p><p>Spike shrugged, "Poison, I suppose,"</p><p>"Just my thought, Childe," Angel said.</p><p>Spike heard a hint of Angelus in Angel's tone and he suppressed a shiver but couldn’t stop the smirk that twisted his lips. "So, you'll look into that for me then? Bloke's half-human at least."</p><p>Angel nodded, "I have an idea."</p><p>Spike nodded and puffed on his smoke as he stared at the other vampire.</p><p>"Does Xander live here?" Angel said.</p><p>Spike pursed his lips, "That's five questions, now; and is that your business?"</p><p>"It is, if you hurt him," Angel said.</p><p>Spike stared down at the cherry of his cigarette, "Wouldn't anyway."</p><p>"Better not,"</p><p>"Is this where you say, "Or I kill you?"</p><p>Angel sighed, "Don't make me have to,"</p><p>Spike stared at the elder vampire. Luckily for him, he had no designs to ever hurt the mortal. </p><p>"Wouldn't dream of it," he said.</p><p>Angel stared at Spike a moment before he moved to the door to grab the handle, "I'll get back to you with a poison."</p><p>Spike watched the vampire disappear and the door close. He swiftly locked the deadbolt and moved to the bathroom to toss his cigarette butt in the toilet bowl. </p><p>As he turned to leave, he stopped to look in the mirror.</p><p>He took in his lack of reflection and tried to think of what he looked like. His memory was a blur. It had been so long since he'd seen a photo of himself. He thought of asking Angel to draw him like he’d done in the past, but decided against it. Instead, Spike envisioned asking Xander to describe him. </p><p>Yep, that's what he'd do. He liked the idea of that better. He was grateful Angel was helping with the poison and all, but the less he dealt with his Grandsire the better.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>After working the day shift the next day, Xander showed up at the Stelle house like normal. He worked around the house and then froze as the vampire slid his arms around him from the back. Spike kissed his neck and after a second Xander found himself relaxing. He tilted his head to the side as the vampire sucked the scar on his neck and euphoric feelings replaced the feelings of fear and anxiety within him. </p><p>Xander turned in the vampire’s arms and kiss him. They kissed until he had to pull away to breath. Then Spike was leaning his forehead against his and staring into his eyes. Xander licked his lips, entranced. </p><p>"Good morning," Spike said.</p><p>“Morning,” Xander said.</p><p>He took in a deep breath, unsure what to do. He wanted to ask Spike about Virgil, but he also felt like a melted puddle of goo ever since the vampire nuzzled his neck.</p><p>Xander swallowed as he reached his arms up around the vampire’s neck and kissed him again. The two made out until Xander had to pull back again. He stared into Spike’s brilliant blue eyes as he caught his breath. He let his arms drop from around Spike’s neck to the vampire’s chest. He lightly shoved him away.</p><p>Xander grinned as he took a few steps back himself. He wanted to talk to Spike but when they touched he couldn’t think.</p><p>Spike watched Xander move away from him with a smile. He tilted his head, watching him.</p><p>Xander couldn't help reciprocating the smile as the two of them stood a few feet apart.</p><p>“What’s up, pet?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander’s smile slipped from his face as he bit his lip. He glanced down at the floor to gather his nerve before looking up again.</p><p>"Uh, so... Faith told everyone that you drained a psychic..." Xander said, "and then she told everyone that you're my boyfriend."</p><p>Xander watched the vampire's face for a reaction. </p><p>Spike’s smile dissolved and his expression turned serious. </p><p>Xander gulped. </p><p>"Which one bothers you more?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander snorted and glanced down at the floor again. He looked back up in Spike’s blue eyes and answered, "Both,"</p><p>Spike nodded, "Well both are true, no?"</p><p>Xander swallowed, "Yeah? You tell me."</p><p>Spike nodded, squinting.</p><p>"I didn't kill him,” he said, “Cos, I didn’t want you mad at me; but I get the feeling that you are anyway."</p><p>Xander licked his lips, "Why did you even drink from him? I mean, I'm usually willing..."</p><p>Xander flushed as he spoke. He knew that he enjoyed the bloodletting more then he should, but he thought of it as their bond. It made him jealous that Spike would go indiscriminately drain some random psychic when he had a willing blood donor literally waiting at home.</p><p>Spike stared at the mortal and reached out to grab his hands, "All part of the plan, pet, to take down the club..."</p><p>Xander looked down at the vampire's hands. He glanced up at Spike. “What about the tongue?"</p><p>Spike blinked and shrugged, "What can I say? Some weird Dru thing?”</p><p>Xander stared at Spike, unsure how he felt.</p><p>“Look,” Spike said, “Drusilla had me kill the witch. I drained him and made it look like I did. I figured it might bungle her spell, but wouldn't lose me you... Xander, I didn’t-"</p><p>Xander watched Spike cut himself off, and saw how earnest he was. Xander stared at the vampire and realized then that he was beguiled. Absolutely. He knew it didn’t matter what Spike said. He already was so willing to believe that Spike was telling the truth. He swallowed and took a deep breath.</p><p>Half of him wondered if Spike was lying to him, but the other half of him knew that Spike was telling the truth. This was why it hadn’t happened earlier. Because Spike was trying not to kill people. Xander’s heart sped up at the thought. Was Spike not killing because of him? </p><p>"What about the gang thinking were dating?" he said.</p><p>Spike stared at him, "Aren't we?"</p><p>"Are we?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike nodded and tugged on Xander's hand. He pulled the mortal closer.</p><p>Xander stepped closer to the vampire and wrapped his arms around him. The two kissed and Xander smiled as he tugged on Spike's shirt and led him backwards. He maneuvered them, while kissing, out of the kitchen, across the foyer and up the stairs. Every few feet Spike would stop them, push Xander up against the wall and divest him of clothing. </p><p>Xander pulled back, panting, when the two of them finally reached the top of the stairs. Spike undid his belt buckle as he pushed Xander backwards into the bedroom. He spun the mortal around, mouthed his neck, and started to undo the mortal's pants. Xander’s last thought, as he turned around and stuffed his hand down Spike’s pants was wondering if he was in love with a demon. It sure as hell felt like it.</p><p><br/>* * * </p><p><br/>Laying in the vampire’s arms, Xander hummed sedated. He tensed as Spike tickled him causing him to roll over onto the vampire’s arm. He grinned up at the roof. He loved the feeling of the naked vampire next to him. He turned his head to looked at Spike as he reached out his hand. </p><p>Spike appeared to be sleeping, but Xander knew better. He caressed the alabaster skin with his palm and then rolled over to press his face into the flesh. He kissed the vampire’s chest and then dragged himself from the bed. Xander wandered out of the bedroom, and down the stairs. He used the washroom before returning to bed. </p><p>When he climbed back under the covers, the vampire mauled him with affection, but eventually Spike fell asleep wrapped around him. Xander laid there comfortably dozing. </p><p>Spike clutched him close and froze as ridged as ice, causing Xander to startle awake in the afternoon. He blinked open his eyes to see Angel staring at them from the foot of the bed. Believing it a bad dream, he turned and hid his face against Spike's nude body. He tugged the blankets up to cover his face.</p><p>"Wot?" Spike growled.</p><p>"Sorry to disturb you lovebirds," Angel said.</p><p>Spike growled low in his chest and Xander felt it against his face like an earthquake. He reared back to look up at the vampire's face.</p><p>Spike kissed Xander's forehead and then turned a glare on Angel, "Fuck off!"</p><p>"Can’t," Angel said, "I'm helping you kill Jamie, remember?"</p><p>Spike glared at his Grandsire.</p><p>Angel sighed and lifted a black bottle of wine.</p><p>Spike’s demeanor changed and he sat up a fraction, "That the poison?"</p><p>Angel nodded.</p><p>Spike sat up fully and reached out to accept the black wine bottle. Xander slid down his body and Spike pursed his lips as the mortal touched him intimately underneath the blankets. </p><p>"Right," Spike said, "Cheers. On your way." </p><p>Angel shook his head as he took a step back, "Whatever you do, do not drink that."</p><p>Spike set the black bottle on the floor beside the bed. "I'll be fine,"</p><p>Angel stared at Spike a moment, then shifted his eyes to the lump under the covers. </p><p>Spike’s growl filled the room and the two vampire’s stared at each other.</p><p>Angel stared into Spike’s amber yellow eyes and scowled before he turned to stride out of the room. </p><p>Spike waited until he heard Angel leave the house, then he snuggled against his human and nuzzled his throat as he thought about how he'd administer the poison to Jamie.</p><p>Xander kissed him and then pulled back to look him in the eye.</p><p>A grin spread over the vampire’s face as he returned the look. Spike decided he'd have Xander administer the poison. All he had to do was set up the scene.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>"Oh my god!" Xander gasped, "When will this work out fucking end?"</p><p>Spike grinned, "Almost done. Five more minutes. You can do it."</p><p>Xander heaved in breath and felt sweat drip down his cheeks. His back and neck were already saturated in sweat and his arms were on fire. Xander forced himself to stay in his fighting stance, despite wanting to lay on the floor. He keep his hands up in front of his face.</p><p>Xander threw a jab, then an uppercut and then he grabbed his bicep and groaned. "My arms are gonna fall off, Spike. I can’t throw another punch!"</p><p>Xander let his arms drop and Spike moved to punch him in the face. Xander lifted his arms to block and Spike smirked.</p><p>"Ass!" Xander huffed.</p><p>"Come on, one more set. Remember to use your body like an elastic. Try to punch through my hand."</p><p>Xander huffed a sigh and forced his arms up in front of his face again.</p><p>"Thank the gods its almost over!" Xander said, "I'm starving!"</p><p>Spike smiled, shifted into a stance and held out his hands, "Alright, as fast as you can. Let's go."</p><p>Xander steadied his core and focused on his posture as he swung his body back and forth to hit Spike's hands.</p><p>After a minute, Xander was gassed and his arms were limp noodles. He let them drop.</p><p>"Spike," he whined.</p><p>The vampire dropped his hands, "Right. Fine. Bobs your uncle."</p><p>Xander theatrically let his entire body drop to the matted cement floor and he closed his eyes as he lay on his back taking in large gulps of air.</p><p>Spike stood staring down at the human with an endearing expression on his face. He moved over to the open basement window and pulled it closed before moving back towards Xander. He reached out his hand and nudged the mortal with his foot.</p><p>Xander opened his eyes and glanced up. He stuck his hand up into the air and let Spike pull him to his feet. He leaned against the vampire, exhausted, and enjoyed the feeling of his cool hands as they slipped under the back of his shirt to caress his sweaty spine. </p><p>Spike started kissing him then and Xander felt disgusting. He pushed himself away from the vampire. Spike stared at him with questioning eyes.</p><p>"I need a shower." Xander said.</p><p>"Thought you needed food?" Spike said.</p><p>"I need both, truly." </p><p>"Go shower, then,” Spike said as he slid his hands into his jean pockets, “I'll order food."</p><p>"Pizza?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike shook his head.</p><p>Xander mock pouted as he moved towards the stairwell. He couldn't wait to get clean.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p> </p><p>The two met up again in the bedroom. Xander entered to see Spike sitting against the headboard. He was surrounded by takeout cartons as he flicked through TV channels. </p><p>Xander cinched his towel around his waist and moved across the room to crawl into the bed. Not wanting to put on his stinky clothes again, and hoping being half naked could influence some sexy time, Xander shifted to sit next to Spike.</p><p>He could feel the vampire's eyes burning into his exposed skin, and within moments he found himself pulled into the vampire’s strong arms. Xander crawled on top of the vampire while they kissed, and his heart skipped a beat when Spike's cool hand slid underneath the towel. Xander let out a shuddering sigh as Spike fondled him. He sighed into another kiss and then opened his eyes, filled with lust. He stared at his vampire as he gasped in breath.</p><p>Xander blinked and smiled sheepishly when his stomach growled. He pouted when the vampire withdrew his hand. He didn’t fight it as the vampire pushed him away.</p><p>"You gotta eat, pet." Spike said.</p><p>"I could eat you," Xander said.</p><p>He watched Spike's iris's flashed amber momentarily and gulped. He’d never having seen that happen before. Either Spike used his human face, or his vampire face; not an amalgamation of the two.</p><p>They stared at one another with bated breath. </p><p>Xander knew what he wanted. He wanted to use up the bottle of lube under the bed. He didn't care that he was hungry. He was famished for something else entirely.</p><p>Spike bit his lip and closed his eyes. He took a second to get himself under control before he pushed the mortal away and shifted to sit up.</p><p>Xander rearranged his towel as he moved to rest against the head board. He rubbed shoulders with Spike, as the vampire started opening up Styrofoam containers.</p><p>Xander bit his lip, as his mind spun in circles. He was conflicted. He wanted to have sex with Spike. </p><p>He bit his lip as he thought it. He wanted to fuck Spike.</p><p>Xander didn’t know how the idea would go over, so he was nervous to bring it up; but he wanted more then anything to fuck Spike.</p><p>Xander reached out for a Styrofoam box filled with food and came to terms with the fact that if he didn’t push to top the vampire then it would likely never happen. Spike wasn’t going to offer.</p><p>He thought about how to broach the topic while Spike flicked the tv to the movie channel.</p><p>Xander picked at his food with a fork and glanced at Spike. The vampire appeared completely immersed in the TV movie.</p><p>Little did Xander know, Spike’s mind wasn’t on the movie at all.</p><p>All the vampire could think about was the conflict within him. He had everything he wanted sitting right next to him but for some unknown reason he couldn't bring himself to voice how he felt. He wanted to try something different. He wanted to feel what Xander felt. Spike wanted Xander to fuck him. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to voice his desire.</p><p>Spike knew, without a doubt, that Xander enjoyed having him inside him. The human appeared to enjoy it so much that Spike was curious what it would feel like to trade places.</p><p> He didn't want to mess everything up between them. Whatever was going on between them was working. Everything was great. They’d started fucking and Spike didn't want to ruin what they’d started. He didn’t want Xander to not want him anymore.</p><p>Spike blinked out of his thoughts as Xander criticized the heroine in the made for TV horror movie. The vampire stared at the screen and chuckled. Xander was right, the girl was a moron. </p><p>The two continued to eat while sporadically criticizing the film. </p><p>When Xander was done, he shifted all the food cartons to the floor and then cuddled up against his vampire. Spike wrapped his arms around him as he continued to stare at the TV.</p><p>Exhausted, it didn’t take long for Xander to fall asleep.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander woke up and rolled over. He was naked and he lifted the blankets confused to look down at himself. </p><p>He saw his bath towel bunched up in the bedding and he recalled the night before. How badly he wanted to top Spike. He rolled over and snuggled up against the vampire. His brain supplied him the word ‘boyfriend’ and a bolt of electric excitement zapped through him. </p><p>Xander grinned. Spike was his boyfriend. His. He opened his eyes and stared at the sleeping vampire in satisfaction.</p><p>The urge to urinate pressed him and he kissed Spike’s arm as he wormed out of the bed. He saw all the food cartons missing in the dim light from the muted television. </p><p>Xander left the room naked. He moved down the stairs to the bathroom, peed, brushed his teeth and washed his face before wandering into the kitchen. </p><p>He stood before the fridge and picked at cold leftovers before he moved back up stairs.</p><p>Xander paused in the door as he spied the bottle peeking out from underneath the bed. He bit his lip as his mind lit up. Mentally, he convinced himself that if Spike was his boyfriend then it shouldn’t be an issue if they switched positions. </p><p>He moved back into the room, bent down, grabbed the lube bottle and placed it on the bed before climbing back in.</p><p>Spike reached out for him and pulled him close and the two kissed. When the vampire fully woke up, Xander crawled on top of him and advanced his plan. He wanted to be in charge this time. </p><p>Xander dominated the vampire’s mouth with as much false bravado as he could. When he pulled back, he stared into his lover’s blue eyes.</p><p>“I wanna fuck you,” he said.</p><p>Spike viably swallowed, staring at Xander with shocked blue eyes. </p><p>Believing Spike would rebuff him, Xander bit his lip as they stared at one another. He held himself still as he waited for the answer.</p><p>After a moment, Spike nodded.</p><p>“Really?” Xander said.</p><p>Spike lifted his mouth for a kiss, “You seem to enjoy it... Why wouldn’t I?”</p><p>Xander fell forwards into another kiss as he came to terms with what he was going to do. He had to prepare Spike. He’d never done this before.</p><p><br/>* * * </p><p><br/>The two shared sloppy sleepy kisses as Xander's body burned with unhampered excitement. He could feel the vampire’s erection pressed against him. Xander pulled away from the vampire and kept their eyes locked. He shifted down the bed to lower his mouth over the vampire’s jean covered erection. He mouthed it, breathing on it, as he watched Spike watch him.</p><p>Spike lay back on the bed, watching every move the mortal made with alert eyes. Xander undid the buttons of his jeans and Spike lifted his hips to let the human slide his pants off.</p><p>Spike watched in rapt fascination as Xander lowered his warm, wet mouth onto his flesh. The vampire's eyes rolled back into his head and he reached out his hands to touch the human.</p><p>“Mmm, pet,” Spike said.</p><p>Xander fumbled as Spike moaned. He was unsure of himself. Now that he had Spike’s dick in his mouth, he didn’t know what to do with it. They hadn’t tried oral yet. They’d had lot’s of handsy mutual masturbation sessions, and a few full on fucks, but Xander didn’t even know where to start with a blowjob.</p><p>He tried to recall what he enjoyed in the past and then worked to perform it on his vampire. While he got the hang of it, Xander thought about the fact that he’d never had a cock in his mouth before. He fumbled in his motions, but he figured he was doing alright since Spike moaned and carded his fingers through his hair.</p><p>Xander sucked on Spike and felt the vampire grow impossibly hard against his tongue. He sucked on the shaft like an ice pop.</p><p>Spike couldn’t control his moaning as Xander sucked on him. He felt excitement pool in his belly and he unconsciously rocked his pelvis. </p><p>Xander gasped, mouth full, as Spike reached out and grabbed his leg to pull his lower limbs up the bed to reciprocate.</p><p>Xander lay there, with Spike’s wet dick between his lips, laying in shock as Spike’s mouth engulfed his erection. He couldn’t believe this was happening. </p><p>Xander lay, drooling around the hard cock shoved into his mouth, overcome by the sensation of Spike’s mouth. Spike sucked him deep into the back of his throat.</p><p>“Guhng,” Xander moaned. </p><p>The human resumed sucking on the vampire out of instinct.</p><p>The two of them pleasured each other, suckling each others weeping cocks. When Xander moaned against the dick in his mouth, he felt an answering groan against his dick. He licked Spike’s phallus clean and then let the vampire slide from his mouth with a slurp before sitting up. </p><p>Xander withdrew himself from Spike’s delectable pink mouth and felt himself fill with adrenalin as he anticipated what would happen next. He couldn’t believe he was doing this- that Spike was letting him do this.</p><p>He crawled up the vampire's body and sat in his lap. He nestled the vampire’s saliva covered cock up against his anus and leaned forward to rock against the vampire as they kissed.</p><p>Spike opened his mouth and Xander laved his tongue with his own. The two made out until Xander needed air. He pulled back and the two of them stared at one another. They shared a grin.</p><p>Xander closed his eyes and nuzzled Spike’s neck with his face as the vampire rubbed his hands all over him.</p><p>They were both breathing heavy and Xander leaned in to kiss Spike again. The vampire's arms wrapped around him and stroked down his back. His fingertips crept inside the mortal’s bum cheeks and Xander shivered and chuckled.</p><p>“Other way around, Mister. I’m sliding into you, remember?”</p><p>Spike licked his bottom lip and his hands retreated from Xander’s bum. He raised his palms in surrender.</p><p>Xander kissed the vampire again, and lifted himself onto his knees. He moved backward on the bed and knelt between Spike’s legs.</p><p>The vampire let his legs fall open as Xander reached for the lube.</p><p>He shifted down the bed, took Spike’s erection back into his mouth and started coating his hand in slick. Xander pulled his mouth off Spike to look up at him. He made sure he had Spike’s undivided attention as he reached his mouth down to kiss his perineum. </p><p>Spike tensed against him and Xander chuckled as he moved a bit further down. He kissed Spike’s anus and then stuck his tongue out to tease it with the tip.</p><p>Spike was tense and breathing heavy.</p><p>Xander grinned as he started sucking on the vampire’s prick again. He gently touched Spike’s anus with his wet fingertips and began probing him with shallow finger thrusts.</p><p>Xander recognized that Spike always took his time stretching him, before they had sex. Xander could also recall his first time pegging with Anya. She’d just shoved the toy straight in him and Xander hadn’t been able to sit comfortably for days. It took a long time for him to get up the nerve to try it a second time. Xander wasn’t going to let Spike experience that unprecedented pain. He wanted Spike’s first time to be special. He would put in the work and prepare the vampire properly. </p><p>Xander’s back and knees began to ache by the time he had three fingers inside. He shifted to get comfortable, using the opportunity to shove his fingers deeper inside the vampire. He latched his mouth back onto Spike’s phallus and continued sucking.</p><p>Spike stared down at the mortal as Xander’s warm fingers wiggled in his bum. Every once in a while, the mortal would touch a spot inside him that caused him to gasp. The vampire didn’t find the sensation of being finger fucked good or bad, he was more focused on his human’s eager warm mouth sucking on him.</p><p>It took all the vampire's willpower to lay still and let Xander to go at his own pace. Spike wanted to toss the human over and slide inside him. He wanted to dominate Xander and show him who should be on their back about to get fucked.</p><p>Then his thought process stopped, when Xander raised himself to his knees and let the dick slip out of his mouth. He kept his fingers moving within the vampire.</p><p>“Spike?” Xander said.</p><p>Spike heaved in breath as he watched Xander shift closer and press his thighs against his. </p><p>“Yeah, Luv?”</p><p>“Gonna fuck you now, okay?”</p><p>Spike nodded. He was without words.</p><p>Xander moved his cock into position and left it nudging up against Spike’s entrance. He withdrew his fingers from Spike and slowly pressed the head of his cock inside.</p><p>Xander reached out his free hand to stroke Spike’s erection.</p><p>The human aimed for slow and steady, but his cock easily slid through Spike’s sphincter and he found himself sliding forward and sheathing himself up to the hilt.</p><p>Both men shuddered as they kept still.</p><p>After a moment, Spike adjusted himself on the bed. He was surprised by the feeling of fullness. The full length of Xander was inside him. Filling him more than Spike could ever know possible. He lay there frozen, recalling how much his lover enjoyed this. He tried to relax. Nothing could have prepared him for what this felt like. </p><p>The vampire took in deep breaths as he anticipated Xander moving soon. Spike didn’t know if he’d be able to handle it. He was currently speared on the human’s erection and he felt fully at the mortal’s mercy.</p><p>The two stared into each others eyes. </p><p>Xander stroked Spike’s waning erection and leaned forward, pushing himself deeper inside, as he kissed the vampire. Spike moaned into his mouth and Xander smirked as he tugged on his dick. </p><p>“Fuck, Xan,” Spike breathed.</p><p>Xander bit his lip and held himself still. He didn’t wanna cum too soon.</p><p>After what felt like forever, when neither of them moved, Xander felt Spike squeeze him with his body. He moaned and rolled his hips, shoving himself deeper still as he fell fully forward on the vampire. Spike caught his lips up in a kiss and the two slowly started to move together. Xander kept his hand on the vampire’s shaft. </p><p>"Xan, pet..." Spike croaked, “Give it to me good, yeah?”</p><p>Xander chuckled as he pulled back his hips and withdrew his length. He paused a moment, looked into the vampire’s blazing blue eyes, and then shoved himself back in. They both cried out, and Xander did it again. He pulled nearly all the way out of Spike before he sunk fully back in. He couldn’t believe the sensation. Spike’s sphincter was as tight as a vice. But as soon as Xander pushed passed it he found he had tons of room. He knew he must be leaking copious amounts of precum inside the vampire and he groaned and thrust his dick deeper inside as he envisioned it.</p><p>Spike lay under Xander, staring up at him, situated on the mortal’s dick. He looked down to see it entering him. Then looked up at Xander with wide surprised eyes before his vision swept down again to stare at their joining. Spike panted as he watched Xander’s cock disappear inside him over and over.</p><p>Xander looked down, following Spike’s vision, and the two of them watched as Xander slowly pulled his cock out of the vampire, nearly all the way out, before slowly pushing back inside. </p><p>Spike closed his eyes and moaned. When he opened them again, he was staring up at Xander. His beloved. The vampire couldn’t hold back his desire anymore. He reached out for Xander’s hair.</p><p>Xander dodged Spike’s hands and gripped the vampire’s wrists and pinned them to the bed. He held Spike down as he withdrew his dick and stuffed it back in.</p><p>Spike wrapped his lower limbs around the mortal as he moaned and held on. Xander felt so good inside him. He’d never felt so full before. He rocked his hips to meet Xander’s thrusts.</p><p>Xander let go of one of Spike’s wrists so he could grab his cock again. Spike took the moment to reach out and grab onto Xander’s hair and pull him up for a kiss.</p><p>The mortal fucked his mouth with his tongue at the same time he fucked his ass. He then leaned his forehead down on Spike’s chest, gasping in air, as he pounded Spike into the mattress. </p><p>Xander lifted his head, eyeing the junction of Spike’s neck, before he surged forward and bit down on it with blunt teeth. </p><p>Spike clutched him closer and growled as he was repeatedly speared by the mortal’s length. </p><p>Xander felt like he was a failing juggler. He was having a hell of a time fucking, stroking, and kissing the vampire all at the same time in a disjoint rhythm. </p><p>Spike grabbed hold of his hair again and pulled his head to the side. Xander groaned and shoved himself deeper in Spike. He continued fucking him as he tilted his head to give his vampire unfettered access to his throat.</p><p>Spike bit into Xander’s neck, moaning in passion, as he held him close.</p><p>Xander’s thrusts faltered as he forgot how to multitask. He lay above the vampire shallowly thrusting into him, the cock clutched in his palm forgotten. All he could feel was his vampire drinking from him. His erection went rock hard. Suddenly, he was impossibly close. </p><p> Xander felt Spike channel clench down tightly around him and he wondered if Spike was going to orgasm. He restarted his rhythmic humping assault. He tried to keep up the motion with his hand as he caressed Spike’s dick. </p><p>Spike moaned and chuckled against Xander’s throat as he rocked into the human’s fist. </p><p>Xander shifted to stab deeper inside the vampire and orgasm blindsided him. He groaned and canted his hips in turbo speed as he felt his ejaculate explode out of him and coat the inside of Spike’s willing body.</p><p>Xander rubbed the orgasm out of the vampire, and continued to stroke him as the ropes of white cum leaked down the back of his hand. </p><p>Xander eventually slowed his fist as he breathed in great gasps of air. He pulled back from the vampire and sat back on his legs, having breath. He went to wipe the sweat off his face and stopped himself. He cleaned his wet hand on the bedding and used his other hand to wipe his face. Sitting back on his knees, Xander flexed his dick inside Spike’s hole as the two stared at one another as they came down from their great heights.</p><p>Spike smirked as he clenched himself around Xander’s cock again.</p><p>The mortal’s eyes rolled in his head and he fell forward to rest on top of the vampire.</p><p>Spike chuckled and pet his human’s sweaty back as he lay speared on his softening erection.</p><p>“Cor, Xan... never expected that...” Spike said.</p><p>Xander nodded against his skin and kissed him as he continued to catch his breath. </p><p>Spike saw the mortal’s eyes closed and he smirked as he clenched his ass around Xander again.</p><p>Xander’s eyes opened, full of passion, and sought out Spike’s.</p><p>“Nggl,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike chuckled and pulled on the brunet's hair so he could kiss him. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>* * * </p><p><br/>An hour later, the two of them hadn’t left the bed. They lay cuddling and making out. The two of them lay wrapped around each other, staring into each other’s eyes. </p><p>Spike smiled broadly and nuzzled his face into the mortal’s neck.  </p><p>Xander tilted his head to the side, chuckling affectionately, and offered himself to the vampire. </p><p>Filled with some indescribable feeling, Spike hummed against Xander’s throat as he tried to name it.</p><p>"Gods, pet... I feel like I’ve died and you’ve resurrected me," he said.</p><p>Spike bit into the mortal’s throat and drank deeply as he angled himself to slide his body back onto Xander’s renewed erection.</p><p>Xander gripped the bed sheets, “Hnnng, Spike!”</p><p>Spike chuckled into the mortal’s throat as he pushed Xander onto his back.</p><p>“Just lay down, Luv. Wanna test out the ride, yeah?”</p><p>Xander’s hands came up to Spike’s hips. He stared up at the vampire sitting sheathed on his cock. He nodded.</p><p>“Anything you want, Spike.”</p><p>Spike grinned wickedly and lifted himself on the mortal’s shaft before sliding back down.</p><p>Both of them moaned.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Xander watched the doorway appear on the blue wall before Spike spoke the password. They two walked inside the club and Spike grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the light. They wandered over to an empty booth and sat down. Spike lit a smoke and glanced around the club.</p><p>A waitress approached and took their order. Xander was surprised when Spike ordered him alcohol. He knew better then to drink, but thought maybe he could handle one beer. He had willpower. Right?</p><p>When the beer came, Xander took a sip and then fiddled with the label. He finished it sooner then he'd have liked to.</p><p>The two of them sat talking and people watching for a good twenty minutes before Xander realized that they were having a regular date. The two of them played pool and danced before Spike ordered them more beer and a platter of fried appetizers. When the food came, the mortal wolfed it back gratefully.</p><p>Suddenly, Avery slid into the booth beside Xander and handed him a shot glass. Avery slid a shot towards Spike at the same time and the three of them said cheers before drinking them back.</p><p>Xander instantly warmed up as he licked his lips. He stared at the shot glass in surprise. It hadn’t tasted foul. He hadn't even meant to drink it. He'd just done so. He continued to pick at the food on the platter before him. He crunched into an onion ring as he listened to the vampire's talk about selling Stelle.</p><p>Another vampire showed up, one Xander vaguely recognized. What was his name? Dan?</p><p>Dan told Avery to shove over and Xander shifted closer to Spike as Avery moved closer to him to make room in the booth. </p><p>Spike and Angel hanging around all the time didn’t make Xander any more comfortable with Avery. Add that to the fact that hanging out with Avery didn’t reassure Xander about the new vamp ‘Dan’.</p><p>Xander’s heart began to race. He suddenly realized he sitting in a circled of evil vampire killers.</p><p>Spike reached out to snag the human's plate and pulled it closer. He then reached under the table and clasped Xander’s hand.</p><p>Xander bit his lip and reached out to take a drink of his beer. He watched as Avery pointed to the other vamp, "Dan said he needs another batch."</p><p>"Already?" Spike said.</p><p>Dan nodded.</p><p>Xander set his bottle down and picked up a mozzarella stick. He looked at the appetizers, then glanced at the unknown vampire. Dan was brunet and clean faced. He wore a dark denim jacket, similar to Avery’s.</p><p>"Stop by the house tomorrow," Spike said.</p><p>Dan nodded and climbed out of the booth. Avery left with him.</p><p>Xander nibbled his mozzarella stick and watched them head towards the bar. His tilted his head to the side and smiled as Spike nuzzled against his neck and kissed his claim mark.</p><p>Xander dropped the mozza stick, wiped his fingers on his pants and swiveled his head around to accept a kiss.</p><p>He grinned against the vampire’s mouth. He couldn’t believe how close he felt to Spike now. It was as if the two of them were on a different wave length now. Xander felt like he was more attuned to the vampire. </p><p>The two of them kissed until Spike pulled back and looked across the room. Xander followed his gaze and they watched as two different types of demons growled at one another and puffed up their chests. </p><p>Xander asked what sort of demons they were as soon as the first punch was thrown. Spike told him he didn't know what one of them was, but the other, he explained, was a Peel'Tanak demon. A mercenary type that kills for pay. </p><p>Xander noticed how easy the Peel'tanak dodged and he looked back at Spike and told him he wanted to be able to dodge like that.</p><p>Spike made a mental note, while they watched the fight get broken up.</p><p>Xander yawned and Spike decided to take the mortal home. He threw some cash on the table and climbed out of the booth. Spike pulled Xander to stand and then led him from the club back to the Stelle house.</p><p>The vampire led the human up the stairs in to the bedroom and began to strip him of his clothes. He tucked Xander into the bed and then laid down on top of the covers kissing him to sleep. </p><p>Once the mortal was asleep, Spike climbed off of him and left the house. He locked the door, lit a smoke, and let his boots direct him as he wandered the town. </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander woke up when Spike returned to bed sometime before daybreak. They cuddled until he fell back asleep and then he woke up again a few hours later. </p><p>Xander got up and went to the kitchen to drink some water and scour the fridge. Finding nothing, and already feeling the pressure of boredom, he decided to head over to his parent’s house.</p><p>He needed to do laundry and grab some new clothes anyway. </p><p>When he entered the empty house, Xander checked the blinking answering machine. He pressed the big red button and listened in surprise as he found out that his father had cancer. </p><p>Xander stood listening to the answering machine in shocked silence. Once the tape stopped and started to rewind itself, he snapped out of his stupor.</p><p>He didn’t know how he felt. Xander perpetually lived in a space where he both loved and hated his dad. The news shook him but it didn’t break him. He hit the play button again and listened to his mom's directions to go to LA and take a flight to Florida so that he could say goodbye to his father.</p><p>Xander swallowed and blinked back tears. He realized, suddenly, that he had to get his butt in gear to make the flight that his mother said she’d purchased. </p><p>He rushed down to the basement and packed a quick suitcase. He gathered his belongings, called into work, and then rushed over to Giles to ask him for a ride to the Los Angeles airport. </p><p>They left Sunnydale before Xander realized that he hadn’t even told Spike where he was going.</p><p>Outside the airport, Xander sat in Giles’s car.</p><p>“Hey... Could you do me a favor?” he said.</p><p>Giles nodded, “Of course,”</p><p>“Can you tell Spike where I went... I didn’t have time to tell him,”</p><p>Giles, despite his reservations, agreed to do so.</p><p>Xander's stomach which started acting up during the drive, pained him as he stood up. He ignored it and figured it was just nerves about his dad dying. </p><p>Xander said goodbye to Giles and then entered the terminal to set himself up in a lineup. His stomach flipped and he grabbed his gut as he felt it twist and turn. He moved up three spaces in line before he realized he was going to be sick. </p><p>Xander looked down at his suitcase before leaving it as his place holder in the line. He rushed towards the washroom, panting and shivering as his body rung itself out like a rag.</p><p>When he exited the washroom, covered in a cold sweat, Xander returned to the end of the lineup to find his suitcase missing. </p><p>Xander looked around and cursed under his breath as he searched for a lost and found. </p><p>The lost and found told him they didn’t have it, so he got back into the line up. He figured, since his mom pre-purchased the ticket maybe he'd still be able to make the flight.</p><p>Feeling sick again and wondering if he should head back to the toilet, Xander didn't notice the scuffle start beside him until he was shoved to the ground. As he was trying to stand up, a security officer grabbed his arms and held them behind his back. </p><p>Confused and pissed off, Xander demanded to know what the hell was going on. He was told to shut up and manhandled into a small room where he was questioned for starting a fight in line. </p><p>Xander very nearly shit his pants as he sat there being interrogated. He tried to be as polite as possible, as he felt that time was of the essence. </p><p>When security finally released him, accepting his plea of ignorance, Xander rushed back towards the bathroom. He was just locking the door behind himself as he felt his bowels release. Xander quickly sat down on the toilet, looked down at his soiled boxers and swore.</p><p>"What the fuck is with this day?" he groaned.</p><p>He took off his shorts and threw them in the trash before cleaning himself up and heading back to the lineup. </p><p>As he pulled up to the end of the line, for the third time, he sighed and prepared for a long wait. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked up at the roof as a voice came over the loudspeaker. </p><p>He stared up at the ceiling crushed, as he learned that something went wrong and there were too many passengers scheduled for his flight. When he lowered his head, he took a deep breath. He decided fate was telling him stay home. </p><p>Xander suddenly gaped at his stupidity. He'd packed his wallet in the suitcase. Now he was in another town, with no money or any of his belongings. </p><p>He looked around, at a loss. </p><p>His eyes eventually picked up a payphone and he rushed over to it to call Giles collect through the operator. The Englishman wasn't home yet, and Xander cursed his luck. Since the call was collect, he couldn't leave a message. </p><p>Xander asked a few people in the terminal for change and was eventually able to make a real call to Giles. He left a message on the answering machine asking to be picked back up. He quickly abridged everything that happened since they’d parted and offered to pay Giles for the trouble once he got home.</p><p>Xander spent the next half hour in the bathroom, sick. Then he found a chair and parked himself in it. He sat with his hands around his waist waiting out the tide of his stomach. He shut his eyes and for a brief second wished that Angel was still in LA. He perished the thought and cringed at his inner self-pity. </p><p>When Giles eventually showed up, he found Xander laying between two chairs shivering under a garish coat from the lost and found. His anger over the 4 hours of driving evaporated when he took in the pale, shivering, sweaty brunet. </p><p>Giles walked up to him and gently shook him awake.</p><p>Xander's eyes flew open, scared, and then he relaxed.</p><p>"Giles! Boy am I glad to see you!"</p><p>"I see that," Giles said, "Shall we?"</p><p>Xander nodded and slowly stood up.</p><p>"What are you wearing?”</p><p>"Oh, the coat?” Xander chuckled, “I found it in the lost and found."</p><p>Rather than taking the ugly coat off, Xander pushed his arms into the sleeves and pulled it closed as he followed Giles out of the airport.</p><p>They drove back to Sunnydale and Giles delivered Xander to his parent's house. When he parked he told Xander to not worry about paying him for his time. He said that he was just glad to know that Xander was safe. Xander thanked Giles profusely and then waved as he shut the car door. </p><p>When the old man drove off, Xander walked shakily up to the front door. He reached into his pocket for his keys and froze. He checked his other jean pockets and still couldn't find them. He checked the pockets of the garish coat and then stood staring at the locked door in defeat. </p><p>"What the hell is up with today?" he said.</p><p>Xander sighed and pulled the garish coat around himself. He groaned as he remembered tucking his key ring into his suitcase for safekeeping while packing for the trip. His stolen suitcase.  Xander stared at the door and couldn't believe his luck. He nearly broke into tears as his stomach twisted. Instead, he straightened up and stomped down the path toward the street.</p><p>Xander persevered walking across town. He showed up at the Stelle house, shivering, and tried the door handle. Finding it locked, he swore as he knocked. </p><p>Xander waited for a bit and then knocked again. Harder this time. </p><p>He waited, knowing full well that the vampire was inside. He had to be. Spike should be sleeping. Xander banged on the door again as his stomach twisted. He clenched his bum cheeks. </p><p>"Fuck!" he said.</p><p>Xander turned to leave when he heard the lock click. He turned around to see the door creep open and he scrambled through the doorway and slammed the door, "Oh thank god!"</p><p>Spike blinked sleep from his eyes, from his position in the shadows. He watched Xander fly past him and rush into the bathroom. Spike locked the deadbolt and walked back up the stairs to crawl back into bed. He lay half awake, waiting for his human to join him.</p><p>Forty five minutes later, the wet, naked, mortal climbed into the bed with him. Spike felt Xander curl around behind him and the vampire let himself fall back to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>"So then I run to the bathroom-" Xander said.</p><p>"And someone stole your suitcase?" Spike said.</p><p>"Yes! How'd you guess?"</p><p>"Because it's LA."</p><p>"Yeah, well... yeah."</p><p>"So you lost your kit, your keys, what else?"</p><p>Xander bit his lip, "My dad maybe?"</p><p>Spike squinted, "You've not heard anything else?"</p><p>"No, I couldn't get into the house to call my mom."</p><p>"I'll get ya in," Spike said.</p><p>Xander brightened, "Really? Without breaking any windows and doors?"</p><p>Spike snorted and sat up, he reached for his shirt and pulled it on.</p><p>"Come on, let's go open her up."</p><p>Xander sat up and thought about putting his dirty clothes back on. He grimaced. He spied his workout clothes on the bedroom floor and he looked up at the ceiling and silently thanked the gods that his luck was improving. </p><p>He shifted off the bed and grabbed the sweatpants and t-shirt and pulled them on before walking out of the room as Spike laced up his boots. He headed down the stairs to use the toilet and when he was done he met up with the vampire in the foyer.</p><p>Xander pulled on his shoes and the garish lost and found coat. He stuck his tongue out at the vampire when Spike snorted at him. They locked the door and started walking.  </p><p>As soon as they reached the Harris residence, Spike crouched down in front of the door to pick the lock. Xander stood in front of him, looking out across the street, paranoid that someone might see. </p><p>When the vampire stood up, seconds later, he twisted the knob and opened the front door. Xander gaped after him as he followed him inside. They moved into the living room and Xander saw a waiting message. He pressed the red button on the answering machine.</p><p>"Oh, hi sweetie. I'm just calling to update you and tell you that everything is gonna be fine, hon. It's only been an hour, so I hope you haven't left yet. I cancelled your flight because daddy is gonna be just fine. There was a mix up with the test results so your father doesn't have cancer. Isn’t it wonderful, Hon? And, of course, awful at the same time for someone else... I'll explain more, once we're home. We’ll be back soon. I gotta go. Love you!"</p><p>Xander sat down on the couch as the wind was knocked out of him. He stared at Spike who stood silent in the center of the living room squinting at him. Xander tried to speak, he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He shook his head, closed his eyes and put his head in his hands.</p><p>Xander felt the couch sag next to him and he leaned over as an arm came around his shoulders. Xander moved in for a hug and hung on to the vampire as his mind tried to come to terms with the new developments. As Spike caress his back, he calmed and came back to himself. </p><p>He pulled his face away from the vampire's shoulder and kissed the vampire's throat as he disengaged from the hug.  He shifted his butt to the edge of the cushion and turned to send Spike a small smile. </p><p>"Thanks," he said.</p><p>Xander stood and left the living room. He head down to the basement and changed into clean clothes. </p><p>Spike followed him down the stairs and watched him dress, "Feel better?"</p><p>"Much," </p><p>"You should bring some more things over, don't ya think?"</p><p>Xander stared at Spike and then nodded. He grabbed a knapsack and stuffed a few sets of clothes in it as well as some toiletries. He made sure he had everything he’d need for a bit, before locking the door behind himself. </p><p>They walked back across town towards the Stelle house, stopping to grab a pizza en route. </p><p>Sitting up in the bed, they ate pizza and watched Sean Connery and Nicholas cage in The Rock on the TV. The two of them were each rooting for the opposite celebrity to win, despite them both having seen the movie a million times.</p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Since he'd called off the week from work, for his unsuccessful trip across country, Xander decided to use his week off to improve his living conditions. He wanted to find a new place to live. He had to get out of his parents' basement. It was slowly draining his soul.</p><p>Xander found Spike's coat thrown haphazardly on the floor and he rifled through it to look for the time. He knew that Spike had an old stopwatch in one of the pockets. He's seen the vampire glance at it before. Eventually, Xander found the little timepiece and opened it to reveal it was just past noon.<br/> <br/>He put the watch back where he’d found it and decided to go out and grab breakfast at the espresso pump. </p><p>When he arrived, he talked with Oz for a bit before ordering a bagel and coffee to sit out in the sun with. He ate while watching the people pass by on the street. When he was done, he bought another coffee to go, as well as a newspaper. He brought them both back to the Stelle house with him. </p><p>Xander flicked on the kitchen light and crossed to the counter to shift his butt up onto it. Once seated, he sipped his coffee as he leafed through the paper.</p><p>He was in no hurry to reach the classifieds in the back. He knew he was procrastinating but he didn't actually want to house hunt. Just the idea of searching for a new place to live made his skin crawl.</p><p>He read the comics and then skimmed over the sports section. He glanced up as Spike entered the kitchen. The vampire paused in the doorway and looked him over.</p><p>"Whatcha up to, pet?"</p><p>"Looking for a new place to live," Xander said.</p><p>"Thought you already lived here," Spike said</p><p>Xander smiled, "Seems like it, doesn’t it?"</p><p>Spike stared at Xander and then crossed to the fridge to pull out a blood bag. He poured it into a mug and put it in the microwave. All the while, he wondered how to go about propositioning the mortal to move in with him. He envisioned memories of the other reality, where he and Xander lived in this very house. </p><p>Spike turned from the microwave and walked across the kitchen. He approached Xander, reached out and gripped the counter with his hands. His wrists pressed against either side of the human's thighs as he stared into his eyes.</p><p>"You can stay here," he said.</p><p>Xander smiled and leaned in for a kiss. When he pulled back, he slid his hands down Spike's forearms until he clasped the vampire's wrists. </p><p>"Indefinitely," Spike added.</p><p>Xander’s heart did something funny in his chest as he looked into the vampire's blue eyes. He blinked and swallowed, "Erm, I should probably get a place of my own, ya know, so I'm not like... underfoot here. I know you're busy with the Stelle and everything."</p><p>Spike pursed his lips, "You don't bother me, luv. I want you here. Rather be busy with you, anyway,"</p><p>"Really?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike nodded, "You can't tell? That I'm infatuated with you?"</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire, feeling light-headed, "Right. Yeah, that makes sense... huh… Well, you know what they say... I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack."</p><p>"No one says that," Spike said.</p><p>Xander snorted a laugh as he shook his head, "You've literally said exactly that!"</p><p>Spike grinned, "Well, I was a prat back then. Don't say it now, do I?"</p><p>Xander's eyes were alight with laughter but he bit his lip nervously.</p><p>"Alright... If you're serious."</p><p>Spike stared at Xander, "I'm always serious, pet."</p><p>Xander grinned as he stared into the vampire's eyes. Spike returned the grin.</p><p>"Okay," Xander said, "I guess I'm moving in."</p><p>Spike glanced around the kitchen, "And, we can fix the place up nice, if you like. Rearrange the Stelle so you can have a room of your own even."</p><p>"A room of my own?" Xander said.</p><p>"For when you want to be alone,"</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire in front of him as a smiled blossomed on his face. He couldn't believe how different Spike acted when it was just the two of them. He never would have suspected how kind the vampire was had he not witnessed it himself. Xander's mind reverberated with the thought that Spike said he was infatuated with him. </p><p>Xander reached forward, gripped the vamp's black tee-shirt, and pulled him close for a deep kiss.</p><p>He eventually pulled back with a grin, "You're infatuated with me?"</p><p>Spike rolled his eyes and kissed the mortal again, but he was smiling. </p><p>Xander's chest filled with elation.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>"So, tell me again why this is a good idea?" Xander said.</p><p>"It isn't, but it's the best we got," Spike said.</p><p>“How’d you get the meeting with Jamie?”</p><p>“Drusilla,” Spike said.</p><p>He picked up the black wine bottle and inspected it, “He wants to buy me out of Stelle,”</p><p>“Oh,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike lifted the black bottle of wine to showed the human, "Whatever you do, do not spill this on yourself."</p><p>Xander nodded.</p><p>Spike stared into the mortal’s eyes, to make a point. Then he slid the bottle into his coat.</p><p>"You're only to pour it... into two glasses. One for me and one for him. That's it.” </p><p>Xander nodded, "Got it."</p><p>"Alright, let do it," Spike said.</p><p>The vampire led his human across town and they entered the blue wall into the demon club. As they entered, the doorman told Spike that Drusilla was waiting for him near the bar. </p><p>Spike looked towards his Sire and drew Xander along behind him with his hand.</p><p>Drusilla looked them both up and down, when they approached. </p><p>Xander grew exponentially nervous as the vampiress led them further into the club. They moved past the large dark door and through the hall of debauchery. </p><p>Spike gripped Xander's hand tighter as he pulled the mortal along the hall. </p><p>The group of them passed through the large dark door at the end of the hall and arrived in a large, richly decorated office. </p><p>Xander registered that the door must be magical, since every time he walked through it he arrived in a totally different location.</p><p>Jamie Caledonia stood up behind his desk, when they entered. He had a self-satisfied smile on his face as he gestured to the chairs before his desk before retaking his seat.</p><p>Spike sat down and Xander took the seat beside him as Drusilla left the room.</p><p>Xander couldn't take his eyes off the painting hanging above Jamie's desk.</p><p>"Spike, right?" Jamie said, "The Stelle cultivator? How nice to finally meet you,"</p><p>“We’ve met before,” Spike said.</p><p>“Yes,” Jamie said, “But both of us were lying then. This is real. We know who the other really is now.”</p><p>Spike nodded, "Too true,"</p><p>“You’ll remember that I killed your friend,” Jamie said.</p><p>Spike shrugged, “Don’t have any friends,”</p><p>Jamie glanced at Xander and smirked, “Yes, well, let us get down to business... I want to buy you out of the Stelle business.”</p><p>Spike snorted, “Not gonna happen,”</p><p>“I’ll pay you handsomely,”</p><p>Spike licked his lips and looked around the room, “Thought we already had a deal negotiated,”</p><p>“We do,” Jamie said, “But every man has a price.”</p><p>“I don’t,” Spike said as he stared at Jamie, “I’m not selling.”</p><p>Jamie shrugged, “No harm no foul. I had to try. You understand.”</p><p>Spike nodded, “So about our deal?”</p><p>Jamie steepled his fingers before his mouth, “Yes... We will continue to purchase everything you make.”</p><p>Spike grinned, “Right. And I stop selling to the public,”</p><p>"How about a drink?” Jamie said, “A toast to new business partners?"</p><p>Spike nodded, "Sounds good, I’ve actually got just the thing. Picked it up on my way over. Ages old. Should we crack it?”</p><p>Spike pulled the black wine bottle out of his duster pocket and inspected the label.</p><p>Jamie tilted his head and stared at it, “Can I see?”</p><p>Spike looked up at Jamie and then held the bottle out for him. Jamie accepted it and scanned the label. He made a gesture that revealed he was checking it over magically. </p><p>After a moment, he held the bottle out and nodded, “Sure. Let's toast.”</p><p>Spike accepted the bottle back and then held it out to Xander, “Pet, pour us each a glass, hmm?”</p><p>Xander looked away from the painting above Jamie and swallowed. He licked his lips and nodded before standing up and accepting the bottle. When his hands wrapped around it, Jamie spoke to him.</p><p>“There’s a corkscrew over on the bar,”</p><p>Xander silently moved towards the bar on the side of the office and he glanced worried eyes at Spike as he passed him. Spike smiled at his human and turned back to Jamie.</p><p>“It’ll be a week until my sources run dry in town,” Spike said.</p><p>“That’s fine,” Jamie said, “But after that...”</p><p>“I’ll be completely hands off,” Spike said.</p><p>Jamie appeared satisfied. </p><p>Spike watched Xander approach with two goblets of red wine. He accepted a glass from the mortal and watched Jamie accept the other.</p><p>Jamie smelled his wine as Xander retook his seat.</p><p>Jamie squinted at Xander, "Have we met before?"</p><p>Xander floundered, “Er... besides with Buffy?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Jamie said.</p><p>"Um,” Xander cleared his throat and glanced at Spike before answering, “Uh, yeah, we used to go to school together."</p><p>Jamie squinted, "Really? When?"</p><p>Xander wiped his hands on his thighs as he grew more nervous.</p><p>"We were in elementary school together. Not friends, but I knew of you." Xander said.</p><p>Jamie nodded and glanced at the vampire before turning to Xander again. He smiled.</p><p>"I moved from the country when I was eleven," Jamie said, “Do you remember little Sally Whitehall?”</p><p>Xander licked his lips and glanced up at the painting above Jamie. He nodded, “Yeah, I remember... You killed your sister.” </p><p>Jamie sat staring at Xander with his goblet in his hand. A glazed look crossed his face and the smile dissolved from the corners of his mouth. He sat frozen, holding his cup.</p><p>Spike blinked. What was going on? He looked at Xander in question and then turned back to Jamie.</p><p>Spike felt like the moment was slipping away from him. He sat forward and lifted his glass, “Cheers, mate,"</p><p>Jamie blinked and looked at Spike. He smirked slightly and raised his glass in salute before tipping it into his mouth. </p><p>Spike followed suit, slowly setting the tip of the glass against his lips. He watched Jamie swallow before he pulled the glass away from his mouth, poured the cup of poison out on the carpet beside him, and pitched the glass aside. with a chuckle as he watched Jamie set down his glass with wide fearful eyes.</p><p>Jamie set down his glass and croaked, “What is this?”</p><p>Spike shrugged, "Not a clue. Taste alright?"</p><p>Jamie scrambled at his neck with both hands.</p><p>Spike stood from his chair and jumped on top of the desk. He landed in a crouch and grabbed Jamie’s forgotten wine glass before lunging forward to grab the other man by the back of the neck. He poured the rest of the poison into Jamie’s mouth and then shoved him away as the liquid splashed on his hands. </p><p>Spike wiped them on his jeans while watching Jamie fall to the ground. Jamie was no longer breathing but his heart hadn’t stopped. Spike jumped off the desk and rolled the other man over with his boot. He stared at the widening hole in his throat, wondering what the hell Angel put in that bloody wine bottle.</p><p>Magic caressed his whole body and Spike blinked and looked around as he felt the magic deed of the club shift over to him. </p><p>His mouth dropped open as he registered it. </p><p>Spike looked down at the body and grinned. He swung around to look at Xander and he beamed at the mortal. </p><p>“We did it luv,” he said.</p><p>Spike moved towards the human and reached out. He stopped himself at the last second and looked down at his burning hands. He closed his hands into fists and held back from what he wanted. Which was primarily to swing the mortal around in the air in glee. Spike grinned at his human. </p><p>Xander returned the grin.</p><p>“So, we did it? The club’s no more?”</p><p>Spike nodded, “Yeah, pet, we got him.”</p><p>Xander beamed at him and Spike felt like he wanted to bask in that smile for eternity. He watched the human raise his shirt to cover his mouth and nose while glancing over at Jamie.</p><p>Spike turned to look at the dead lump of flesh. He saw the skin melting into a slimy goo from the caustic wine. It was starting to smell. </p><p>Spike beckoned the mortal to follow him out of the club.</p><p>The two walked with purpose through the bustling club and out the front door. The two stepped into the ally and started across the street. Spike stopped to say something to Xander just as there was a loud explosion that pushed them both to the ground. Looking back to the club, Spike and Xander climbed to their feet. </p><p>There was fire coming out of the roof. Demons began to spill out of the club and scatter into the night.</p><p>"Bugger," Spike said.</p><p>Xander looked from the club to Spike and knew as soon as he looked at him that he was going back in. Xander reached out and gripped the vampire's arm. He shook his head. </p><p>"You can't seriously be thinking of going back in there!"</p><p>Spike glanced between the burning club and Xander, "Dru's in there, luv,"</p><p>Xander swallowed and clenched his teeth. He understood. He'd read the watcher journals; he knew all about the bond between Sire and Childe. Xander understood, but that didn't mean he liked it. He implored the vampire with his eyes.</p><p>Spike stared at him as he reached into his pocket to withdraw his key ring, "I need you to go home, pet."</p><p>Xander accepted the keys thrust into his hand and begged, "Spike, please. Don't do this to me again."</p><p>"Xander. Go.”</p><p>Angry, Xander glared, "I'm not your slave. You can't just tell me what to do."</p><p>Spike grit his teeth as he glanced back at the burning building. He squinted back at the mortal.</p><p>"I never said you were," Spike said.</p><p>The vampire turned and walked away.</p><p>Xander crossed his arms across his chest as he watched Spike walk away. His heart hurt. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling this so deeply, but the more he thought about it the closer he came to the conclusion that he was in love. He was in love with Spike and the stupid vampire was just going to walk into a burning building.</p><p>He watched the vampire approach the blue wall. The door was visible and frantic demons fled and scattered into the darkness. Xander saw the club’s magic was no longer working. The blue wall repeatedly flickered from blue to slate grey and back to blue again.</p><p>As Xander watched Spike stride up to the building. He couldn’t help himself from calling out, “Just don’t die, okay! Please! Because I think I’m falling in love with you!”</p><p>Spike stopped dead in his tracks. He swung around to stare at the mortal with a look of disbelief. </p><p>Xander bit his lip as he tried to convey with his eyes what he meant. He didn’t know what else to say. </p><p>He was scared that they would never get to see where it could go between them. He tried to convey, with his stare, that whatever this was between them was what he wanted. Fully. He wanted the vampire to know that it was him who he wanted. The stupid vampire that would run into a burning building for his Sire.</p><p>Spike stared back at Xander before he nodded and turned back to the building.</p><p>Xander watched the vampire disappear inside.</p><p>Xander stood watching the club burn. He knew he should go back to the Stelle house and let Spike deal with Drusilla, but he couldn't bring himself to. This was the second time they’d disbanded while at this stupid club. This was the second time Spike chose Drusilla over him.</p><p>Xander wrapped his arms around himself and watched the fire lick the night sky. The longer he stood there, the more he ached. He watched the roof cave into the building and he sucked in a breath with a jolt. He couldn't believe it. He'd lost Spike to Drusilla again. This time, though, he’d really lost him. There were a few ways to kill a vampire. Fire being one of them.</p><p>Xander felt the heat of the flames as smoke billowed into the night sky. He stared at the broken door as it spewed out black smoke, perpetually open. </p><p>Red and white lights flashed and illuminated the ally as a firetruck arrived to put out the fire. </p><p>Avery sidled up next to him and Xander glanced over at the vampire. He didn't speak, unable to. Xander felt numb and like he was in a surreal dream. He turned back to the fire and stood staring at the building hoping to see Spike come back out of it. He didn’t.</p><p>Xander kept his arms wrapped around himself as they stood watching the building burn down. Eventually it collapsed into a giant fireball.</p><p>Xander stared at the burning rubble as the firemen fought against the flames. All that reverberated in his mind was that he was in love with a vampire who probably just died trying to save his Sire. </p><p>Xander tasted blood and realized he'd been biting his lip. He released it from between his teeth and laved it with his tongue.</p><p>“I’ll walk you home,” Avery said, “C’mon.”</p><p>Xander blinked away from the burning club and turned to look at the blond vampire. He licked his lips again and nodded. In a daze, he followed Avery into the darkness.</p><p>The two of them walked across town in silence and when Xander walked up the front steps he noticed Avery didn’t follow him. Instead, the vampire stood below him on the landing. </p><p>Xander unlocked the door and turned around to look at Avery.</p><p>“Thanks,” he said.</p><p>“Will you be okay alone?” Avery said.</p><p>Xander shot the vampire with a half smile. Avery was always so kind to him. He often wondered if Spike paid the vampire to be nice to him. </p><p>“I’ll be fine,” Xander said, “I’m still hopeful Spike was able to escape out the back entrance.”</p><p>“Could have,” Avery said, “Have a good one,”</p><p>Xander nodded and watched the vampire give him a little salute before he turned to leave. He watched Avery walk away and then entered the house.</p><p>After locking the door, Xander turned around to stare at the large Stelle plant on the pedestal. </p><p>Xander stood in the foyer, lost. His eyes grew moist and a single tear leaked out of the corner of his eye. He wiped it away as he kicked off his shoes and rechecked that the door was locked. He wandered into the bathroom to relieve himself and then moved up the stairs.</p><p>Licking his sore bottom lip, Xander stopped in the bedroom doorway and stared at the white linen bedding messy atop the mattress. He gulped as he thought back to this morning. The bed was messy because Spike and him made it messy. They’d spent the entire day in bed together.</p><p>His vision flickered over to the TV at the foot of the bed while his stomach growled. Xander glanced at the bed again and then turned around to stomp back down the stairs. He entered the kitchen, pulled open the fridge, and withdrew some leftovers. He moved around the kitchen, grabbing a plate and fork before doctoring up a plate of food to put in the microwave.</p><p>Xander stared at his food in a daze, while it spun. He couldn't believe his luck.</p><p>Him and Spike had danced around each other for months. Now, as soon as they’ve finally got together, of fucking course, they were physically separated. Not only that, but it was Spike's choice to leave. </p><p>Xander wished he hadn't waited so long to instigate sex. They’d only done it a few times. This morning had been their last, and honestly best, go of it so far. He’d been inside Spike again. Nestled tight and cozy inside his vampire.</p><p>Xander swallowed over the knot in his throat.</p><p>He could easily recall lying naked on the bed holding onto Spike, staring into his bright blue eyes. He’d thought at the time that today was the most spectacular day. The best day ever. Except now it was bittersweet. This morning was exquisite, but now everything was in ruins.</p><p>Xander closed his eyes and revisited Spike’s last words to him before they got up to start the day. The vampire nuzzled against his throat, whispering, "Gods... I feel like I’ve died and you’ve resurrected me."</p><p>At the time, Xander had chuckled. He’d quickly forgot about it as he extracted himself from the wonderful embrace to climb out of bed. Now, though, he ached as he thought of it. Gods, what he wouldn’t do to resurrect Spike.</p><p>Xander stood blinking away his glassy eyes as the microwave beeped. He moved towards it and grabbed his food before moving up the stairwell to enter the bedroom. He sat down on the bed and turned on the TV. Flicking through channels, he ate his leftovers. </p><p>He stopped surfing and landed on MTV. He picked at his food and listened to the new Stone Temple Pilots song. Imagery on screen reminded him of the burning club and he watched it collapse again and again in his mind. </p><p>No longer hungry, Xander set his plate down on the floor and shifted to lay down. He curled himself around his pillow and stuffed his face into it as he let his build up emotions out. </p><p>Xander felt the pillow grow wet. He wiped his face on it and then rolled over with a huff. He stared at the ceiling, angry with himself. </p><p>Internally, he reprimanded himself or being so dumb. He’d known better than to get involved with a vampire. He’d known better. Yet, still he’d done it. Even as his heart ached, he felt like he couldn't truly let himself feel those feelings of angst; because he’d known better before getting into all this. He knew better.</p><p>Xander rubbed his face and closed his eyes. </p><p>He made a silent wish that Spike was okay. He hoped with all his heart that the vampire made it out of the fire somehow. </p><p>The sound of the TV annoyed him and he reached out to turn it off. He dropped the remote to the side of the bed and laid there in silence.</p><p>Xander reached out and pulled Spike's pillow down into his arms. He stuffed his face into it and took a deep breath before sighing and clutching the pillow close. He knew Spike’s smell so well now. They’d been so intimate, so close.</p><p>Xander yawned and stretched his arm. His eyes popped open when he felt something. He grabbed a small slip of paper from the top of the mattress and pushed himself up on to his elbow open it. Xander worried his lower lip as he read it.</p><p>Xander stared at the poem and reread it. His heart lit up as he read the line, 'I died and you resurrected me."</p><p>That was what Spike had said he'd felt this morning. </p><p>Xander laid there analyzing the poem. He assumed Spike wrote it about him. Was this what Spike did when Xander got up for the day? While he was in the shower or brushing his teeth, was Spike laying in bed writing poetry about him?</p><p>Xander lay staring at the poem as tears once again filled his eyes. Here he found tangible proof that William the Bloody was in love with him too, but it was too late. Spike was gone. Xander lay there, bereft, not knowing if his new boyfriend was even alive or not.</p><p>Feeling a mess, and like he needed a friend, Xander thought about calling Willow. He saw a flash in his mind of her shocked face when she’d learned he and Spike were an item and he decided maybe not. He figured that phone call would be more work than it was worth.</p><p>Xander decided instead to seek out Buffy. He much preferred the look of understanding on her face when she’d found out about the two of them. </p><p>Remembering that Buffy now stayed at her mom's, ever since being attacked by Jamie, Xander stood up from the bed, stuffed the poem into his pocket and headed over to Buffy's mom's house. He locked the Stelle house up and made it about a block down the street before he felt eyes on him. Straightening his shoulders, Xander sped up and walked to the Summer's house as fast as he could. </p><p>When he knocked on the door, and Joyce let him in, Xander relaxed his tense shoulders. He found Buffy at the kitchen table studying. Xander accepted a cup of hot chocolate from Joyce and he and Buffy sat around chatting for a while until Joyce gave up on eavesdropping and went up to her room.</p><p>Once the upstairs door closed, Buffy turned to Xander, "So... What's really going on?"</p><p>Xander bit his scabbed lip, "Um. I'm not sure. Spike might be dead, but I'm not sure..."</p><p>Buffy stared at Xander, "Woah. Start at the beginning."</p><p>Xander nodded and took a second to figure out what to say.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>After spending three days alone in the Stelle house, Xander started to loose hope. He didn't want to believe that Spike wasn’t coming home, but depression was enveloping him.</p><p>Xander didn't know what to do with himself while he waited for the vampire to reappear. He worked on the Stelle, watering and propagating. He tried to continue with his most recent rhythm of his life. He kept up his shifts at the Double Meat Palace and took care of the Stelle. He even started cleaning up the house, fixing a few things here and there. The house was starting to look more like a home.</p><p>Xander didn’t often go out with his friends when they invited him to. He felt that if he left the Stelle house for too long, it was akin to accepting that Spike was gone and never coming back. The only time he left the house was for food or work.</p><p>Xander figured his time was better spent on cleaning and gutting the house anyway. When Spike came back, he’d appreciate it, Xander was sure. </p><p>So he’d started in the kitchen first, since it was where Xander spent most of his time other than the bedroom. It was in there that Xander was hunched over a bucket of murky water when Avery show up.</p><p>The vampire cleared his throat and Xander let out a small yip in fright as his arm splashed into the bucket of water while he twisted. Xander stood, wiping the water off his arm, “Er, hey..”</p><p>"Sorry,” Avery said, “I knocked...”</p><p>Xander nodded and thought about the broken doorbell. He gulped as he suddenly realized he had nothing near him to protect him from the vampire. </p><p>He didn’t think Avery would hurt him because, well, Spike must have ordered him not to or something; but Spike wasn’t around. Xander didn’t know how well the scar on his neck protected him if the vampire who gave him the mark was dead.</p><p>“Spike's not back?" Avery said.</p><p>Xander shook his head, unable to voice it.</p><p>Avery nodded, "You know if he's got any Stelle laying around?"</p><p>Xander nodded and led Avery into the foyer. He told him to wait there and then went down to the basement to retrieve a stack of Stelle bags. He returned to Avery and handed him the bales. </p><p>Avery passed Xander a roll of money and Xander stared at it for a second before thanking the vampire.</p><p>Avery stared at him in eerie silence until he turned to leave.</p><p>Xander watched the vampire close the door behind him. He let out a suspended breath of air and stepped forward to lock the deadbolt. Internally, he reprimanded himself for not doing so earlier. He reentered the kitchen, stashed the roll of money in the freezer, then walked over to his water bucked to pick it up by the handle. He grabbed the wet rag and then stood there staring at the wall.</p><p>Xander finally confronted the feeling he'd been ignoring. He stood in the kitchen, heartbroken, and looked around. </p><p>Suddenly, he had no idea why he was trying to fix the place up. Spike wasn't there and he probably wouldn’t be coming back.</p><p>Xander looked down at the bucket in his hand and he set it down. He threw the rag in it and then moved around the empty house cataloging all he saw. He moved up the stairs and stood in the bedroom doorway staring at the bed. His eyes grew misty and he moved around the rest of the house.</p><p>Xander looked in on at all the plants and debated turning off the grow lights. He decided not to, since he still had hope in his heart that Spike might come home. </p><p>Xander knew he needed to get out of the house. He needed his friends. He needed someone to talk to because he felt like he was broken. He didn't know what to do. He felt like he should give up hope, but he didn't want to. </p><p>Needing some fresh air, Xander gathered his coat and left the isolation of the Stelle house.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike winced as he came awake and then froze in untold amounts of pain. He opened his eyes to scan his surroundings. Keeping his body still, he stared at Drusilla who stood across from him. He could tell she wasn’t lucid, as she was staring at something on the ceiling.</p><p>Spike stared at her red stained hands and gasped as he focused on the sensation in his own. He looked over at his right hand and then closed his eyes wincing in pain. Long metal spikes pierced his palms and held him up against the wall. He tried to envision a way out of his predicament.</p><p>Last night, when Spike re-entered the club, he'd been lassoed around the neck. He’d was dragged kicking and screaming out the back ally of the club. He couldn't see who took him, at first, and he’d been stuffed into a trunk and moved to a random warehouse. </p><p>Once they pulled him out, though, Spike saw who he was dealing with. A coven of vampires that were still on retainer from Caledonia. They’d strung him up and tortured him causing Spike to leak out copious amounts of blood onto the floor beneath him.</p><p>“You’re awake!” Drusilla said as she looked down at her Childe.</p><p>"Just in time for the show,” she whispered.</p><p>Spike squinted at her as she clapped hands together quietly.</p><p>"What's going on Dru?" Spike said.</p><p>"The movies almost over, Luv. It's almost time."</p><p>Spike's everything hurt. </p><p>"What movie? What's going on?" he said.</p><p>Drusilla softened her features and stood up. She stepped closer to him.</p><p>"Congratulations on finding your puppy, William. You’ve always deserved a puppy. And such a good puppy too! Helping Jamie remember the little one."</p><p>Spike stared at Drusilla. He squinted. He tried to pull his body off the spikes but couldn’t. They were 12-inch nails. His hands hurt like crazy and he chuckled to himself at the irony that he of all people was spiked up to a wall.</p><p>"Help me off, Dru?" he said.</p><p>Drusilla shook her head and then looked around the room paranoid, "Not yet, William. The show will end soon. Just stay put."</p><p>Spike groaned, "Not much else to do, is there?"</p><p>Spike sighed and leaned his head back. He closed his eyes and wondered what Xander was doing right now. Was he looking for him? Did he think he was dead? Spike squished his eyes tightly closed and then opened them. He had to figure out a way out of this.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Calvary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p><br/>Xander and Buffy wandered through town making small talk about the recent rain while they patrolled. After another long silence, Buffy asked Xander if he felt up to wandering by the burned-out nightclub. She offered to do it herself, after she dropped him off, if it made him more comfortable. Xander agreed to go along with her and told her not to waste her time on him like that. </p><p>When they arrived, they both stood staring at the burned-out building.</p><p>"Should we go look inside?" Buffy said</p><p>Xander nodded. Internally, he wondered if he was walking on Spike's ashes.</p><p>The two of them walked inside the burned down warehouse. There was no longer a roof, and the walls were only half standing. They moved through the soot and debris and barely spoke.</p><p>Xander led Buffy out the back exit of the club into the alley that Spike sent him home from once before. They found nothing worth their time and wandered out of the alley back towards town.</p><p>Xander glanced back at the alley and blinked when he saw an alley and not a parkade. He stopped and squinted.</p><p>"What?" Buffy said.</p><p>"Oh, nothing," Xander said.</p><p>He recalled the alley being magical before, glamoured somehow to appear invisible. Now the magic was gone. Xander gulped and saw Buffy motion for him to continue walking towards town. </p><p>"Come on, I think I’m done. I'll walk you home," she said.</p><p> </p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>"Did you see that?’</p><p>Faith glanced from Angel to the warehouse and then started towards it.</p><p>Angel grabbed her by the arm to stop her.</p><p>"Yeah, and there's more inside,” he said, “a lot more," </p><p>Faith swung around to glare at him, "So?"</p><p>"Faith. We need help." Angel said.</p><p>Faith glanced down at the vampire's wounded torso. He was bleeding profusely from taking an axe blade to the gut earlier. The slayer reluctantly nodded. </p><p>"Yeah, you're not looking so hot," she said, "Should we get B?"</p><p>Angel shrugged, "Sure; or Gunn,"</p><p>Faith and Angel started walking as the rain started to fall harder. Faith looked up at the sky, unimpressed, then looked over to see Angel try to fix his hair as it fell to his forehead.</p><p>The two walked silently side by side as the rain pounded against the pavement around them. They neared Crawford street when they saw Buffy walking towards them.</p><p>The three met up in the middle of the road and all stopped to stare at one another. Buffy looked at Angel with worry, "Looks like you ate it tonight,"</p><p>"You could say that," Angel said.</p><p>Buffy looked between Angel and Faith, "Well, what happened?"</p><p>"We found a nest," Angel said, "We wiped it out, but two vamps ran off on us."</p><p>Faith jumped in, "So we followed them, but they just led us to a second nest,”</p><p>Buffy nodded and pulled out her stake with a twirl, "Lead the way."</p><p>Faith grinned and spun around to head back the way they'd come. Buffy fell into step beside her and Angel tagged along behind.</p><p>While Faith and Buffy walked down the sidewalk together, they both agreed that Angel should stay out of the fight and return to the mansion. Neither was surprised when he didn't listen to them.</p><p>Faith led the way back to the nest and the two slayers immediately jumped into a fight.</p><p>Angel stood back, prepared to aid the girls should they need it. He kept his distance as he admired the two slayers. The two of them worked together and each pulled off lightning fast back flips to trade opponents.</p><p> Angel opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself as he watched the vampires burst into dust around them. He shut his mouth and his posture sagged as he realized that if he was to enter the fray either of the Slayers would likely stake him out of instinct. He was fine sitting on the sidelines. He glanced around at the cave like room. He scanned the grimey decor and noticed a door with a lock on it. </p><p>After assessing the fight, he moved toward the locked door and tore the padlock away to flip back a metal plate. He twisted the knob and shoved open the heavy door. Angel glanced back at the girls fighting and then entered the pitch black room. His nose was assaulted with a familiar smell and he growled before he even took in the scene with his eyes.</p><p>Spike and Drusilla hung in the center of the room from chains. Drusilla's eyes were open and she stared at her Sire in reverence. Angel noticed Spike hung limp as he walked up to the two vampires.</p><p>"Daddy?" Drusilla said.</p><p>Angel swallowed as he made eye contact with his Childe. He took a deep unneeded breath and licked his lips.</p><p>"Hello, Dru."</p><p>He watched the raven haired vampire pout.</p><p>"Oh it's you," she said. </p><p>Angel stared at Drusilla a moment longer before he turned and took in his Grand-childe. He was unconscious.</p><p>Angel bit into his wrist as he moved closer to Spike. He pushed his bleeding wrist into his mouth and watched the demon's features dominate. Spike aroused to consciousness while he drank the blood. Angel watched, entranced by the novelty. </p><p>Spike bit into Angel’s wrist and the older vampire yanked back his arm and glared at the now conscious vampire. Angel stared into Spike’s blue eyes for a moment and then he blinked and turned away. He looked around for a key and saw a ring of them across the room. He went to them and returned to Spike to undo his cuffs.</p><p>"Thanks, peaches," Spike mumbled.</p><p>Angel pursed his lips and undid the first cuff as he felt Buffy and Faith enter the room behind him</p><p>"Holy smokes!" Buffy said.</p><p>“Fuckin’ hell,” Faith breathed.</p><p>Angel released Spike’s wrists from the chains and caught his weight holding it against him. Weaker than normal, he turned to Buffy, "Little help here?"</p><p>Buffy moved forward and grabbed Spike. She held him up against her side and Angel moved towards Drusilla to undo the first cuff. </p><p>Faith stepped forward to hold Drusilla up as Angel undid the last cuff. She quickly handed her off and followed Buffy out of the room.</p><p>Angel listened to the other three exit the nest and spill out onto the street. He held Drusilla against himself and shifted her in his arms. He then tilted his neck and stared at his Childe. Drusilla took no further urging. She bit into his throat and swallowed greedily.</p><p>Angel clutched Drusilla's body close as she sucked back copious amounts of his blood. After a deep breath he pushed her away. The two stood staring at one another.</p><p>Drusilla licked her lips and grinned wickedly. She stared down at her red stained hands and grabbed her dress. She curtsied and then twirled her dress as she spun around.</p><p>Angel watched her exit the room. He heaved in a breath and looked around. He then made his way to join the others. When he made it to the street, Drusilla was nowhere to be seen. He jogged to catch up with Buffy, Spike and Faith who were walking a block ahead.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Breathing Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Xander lay alone in the Stelle house, huddled under the big white blanket. He clutched Spike’s pillow to his chest as he lay on his side blindly staring at the wall. Zoned out, he compiled a list of similarities between cats and vampires. He was influenced by his recent visit with Miss Kitty Fantastico. The cat was now living in Willow’s dorm and he’d received a pleasant cuddle session with the little fur ball.</p><p>Miss Kitty Fantastico, much like the vampire, was obsessed with hunting and chasing things. Xander couldn't count the number of times Spike chased him. Not only that, but the cat and vampire were both nocturnal. Miss Kitty groomed herself constantly, but then so did Spike. The vampire’s biggest pet peeve was being sticky. Lastly, both cat and vampire were adorable and great at cuddling. </p><p>His heart constricted. What he wouldn’t give to see Spike’s face right now.</p><p>Xander sighed and rolled over onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling and pushed his arm under his pillow to raise his head. He blinked at the muted TV. He’d turned it on earlier, because he couldn't sleep. </p><p>There was nothing to watch late at night. He’d previously watched mandolin infomercials until he thought maybe he should get one. Now he was being brainwashed by an older man selling a kitchen rotisserie. </p><p>Xander closed his eyes and rolled over.</p><p>He tried to get comfortable. He found the more he tried to sleep, the more he stressed. He tried to get some rest. But, as soon as he closed his eyes, his brain would go into overdrive and wouldn’t shut off.</p><p>He didn't know why he continued to stay at the Stelle house night after night. It was like this every single time. All night long he’d lay awake, creeped out by a random sound coming from the old house. He spent all his time at the house, ruminating about Spike never returning. </p><p>Half of him worried the vampire was dead. The other half of him worried that Spike grabbed Drusilla and left town. His biggest fear was that he was more the fool for waiting around.</p><p>Often, Xander found himself dwelling on his brief time spent with Spike. He’d comb over memories obsessively. Every minute of every day, he felt stupid for how much he'd come to care about the bleached menace. A vampire.</p><p>Xander struggled, for the last week. He stayed alone in the Stelle house and agonized whether he should stay or go. He didn’t hear a thing from, or about, Spike. So, he tried his best to keep up his regular habits.</p><p>He went to work in the mornings and came back to the house to water and feed the plants. The plants were getting bigger day by day and Xander dreaded the fact that the Stelle needed to be harvested and he had no idea what to do.</p><p>He had no idea how to go about curing the Stelle. That was something Spike did. The vampire never taught Xander how to cut the plants down when he taught him to take care of the house. </p><p>Not knowing where to even start, Xander moved the lights higher so that the Stelle could continue to grow until Spike returned. </p><p>Xander stopped creating new Stelle cuttings on the fourth day, when he realized that space was becoming more limited. The plant cycle in the house was disjoint without Spike manning the ship and there were plants everywhere. The Stelle grew out of control.</p><p>Xander didn't want to muck everything up, so he didn't chance cutting down any Stelle. He figured he'd just have to make do, so he continued playing plant Tetris until Spike eventually showed up to fix everything. That was... if Spike ever came home. </p><p>Xander rolled over and punched the pillow again. His eyes blinked open and he stared at the wall as he berated himself for overthinking. He had to go to sleep. Either Spike would show up, or he wouldn't.</p><p>Heartbroken at the thought of Spike being dead, Xander swallowed thickly. He tried to avert his mind from the anguish of his thoughts. But it couldn't be helped. His mind reverberated with the same thought. He’d fallen in love with a vampire who’d sacrificed himself for his Sire. Spike was likely dead.</p><p>Xander felt numb. He'd known better then to let things get to where they were. He'd known better then to fall for a soulless demon. And still, he'd opened his heart to him. He’d opened his body to him. He’d had sex with a vampire and fallen in love with him. Xander felt like he shouldn't be surprised that it hadn't ended well.</p><p>He knew the importance of a vampire bond between Sire and Childe. He'd read all the watcher diaries. It was customary for vampires to idolize their Sires. So, of course, Spike would feel more of a connection to his Sire than to a human he occasionally leeched blood from. </p><p>Xander and Spike didn't have a blood bond and the mortal understood the severity of it.</p><p>He reached up and stroked his throat and felt the bumpy scar tissue of Spike's mark. He ran his fingers over it and recalled how close to Spike he felt when he shared his blood with him. Xander felt like there was a blood bond between them, even if there wasn’t. It was always a profound moment when Spike bit him.</p><p>When the vampire drank from him, Xander felt euphoric. Hormones flooded his body and he felt like Spike and he were the only two people in the world. As if the moment froze and all that existed was the two of them together in space and time. </p><p>Xander loved that. He liked knowing he could provide sustenance to keep his vampire alive. He felt deep down, despite Spike being a demon feasting on his life source, that he could implicitly trust him not to drain him dry.</p><p>Xander swallowed and dropped his hand. His mind supplied the catty retort, "Still not a bond.”</p><p>He filled with shame. He knew better then to even be messing about with Spike at all. He knew he shouldn't have, but he'd done so anyway. He'd let the two of them travel down this road. He'd let it happen.</p><p>Xander hated the fact that he couldn't lie to himself. He knew the truth of the matter. He'd let his own heart break. He couldn't hold Spike accountable. He'd known what Spike was when he’d got involved with him. He also knew that he would have to live with the consequences of his actions. </p><p>Unable to cope with his thoughts, Xander rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. He dropped his hand and looked around for the remote. He un-muted the TV and started flicking through the channels. He needed something, anything, to take his mind off things </p><p>After five minutes, Xander re-muted the TV and crawled out of bed. </p><p>He wandered around the house, restless. He checked in on all the plant rooms and eventually found himself downstairs in the basement. He stood before the heavy bag Spike put up a few days before the fire.</p><p>Xander punched the bag a few times in anger then decided to wrap his hands. He started to practice punches on the bag and found it a good method to release energy. </p><p>Xander was a sweaty mess in no time.</p><p>While boxing with the bag, Xander thought to himself that maybe sleeping at his parent’s place might be the best thing for his mental stability. He simply couldn't handle being alone in the Stelle house any longer. He wasn't getting any sleep and it was starting to take it's toll. He felt like he hadn't slept since Spike disappeared.</p><p>Xander knew he’d still spend a lot of time at the Stelle house. He was busy cleaning it up and fixing up what he could. Not to mention the Stelle watering schedule. Really, the only thing he would change about his routine was that he would be spending the night in his parent's basement.  Hopefully, then he’d be able to sleep.</p><p>Xander wiped his sweaty face on his shirt and undid the wraps on his hands. He turned off the light before moving upstairs. It felt good to come to a decision. He took a quick shower and then moved upstairs to the main bedroom to find clean clothes. He dressed in sweatpants and an undershirt and then went to the kitchen to find something to eat. </p><p>He yanked open the fridge door and ducked down to look inside. He jumped and banged his head as the doorbell sounded. Standing frozen, he rubbed his sore head as he righted himself and looked towards the door. </p><p>He shut the fridge as he realized that someone pressed the doorbell. He’d fixed it few days before, tested it once to make sure it functioned, and then promptly forgot about it.</p><p>Xander dropped his hand from his aching noggin and wondered who would be calling so late. He cautiously moved towards the foyer.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike woke up and squinted open his eyes to see Angel hovering over him. He closed his eyes and turned his head to look around.</p><p>"Where's Dru?" he said.</p><p>Angel took a step back, "I let her go."</p><p>"Where’m I?"</p><p>"My room," Angel said.</p><p>"Why didn't you drop me at home?"</p><p>Spike tried to sit up and groaned as he moved. He was stiff, filled with deep aches and pains. He looked down at his hands and was happy to see the stigmata-like holes closing. He could taste the residue of Angel's blood in his mouth and he blinked up the elder vampire.</p><p>"Thanks,"</p><p>Angel nodded and pointed to the bedside table, "There's more there."</p><p>Spike reached for the bedside mug and sniffed it. He squished up his face, smelling that it was pig's blood, but drank it down.</p><p>Spike could hear a multitude of different voices beyond the bedroom walls. There were people swarming the mansion. </p><p>"What's going on?" </p><p>"Impromptu meeting." Angel said.</p><p>"Xander?" </p><p>"No. No one's been able to get a hold of him," Angel said.</p><p>Spike nodded. He assumed Xander would still be at the Stelle house. He shifted and worked his way to standing. He slipped on his coat, which he found folded up on the bedside table, then turned towards the door. </p><p>"You're leaving?" Angel said.</p><p>"Yup" Spike said. </p><p>"How do I know you wont kill anyone?"</p><p>"You don't," Spike said.</p><p>Angel sighed.</p><p>The blond stopped short, as he reached the door. He turned around and stared at the elder vampire.</p><p>"I'm a vampire, Angel, a real one. I don't got no bleedin' soul."</p><p>Spike watched the dismayed soupuss expression form on the other vampire's face. He squinted at Angel and relented, "Look... Harris is the neck, yeah? If I'm the head, he's the neck... You can sleep safe at night knowing that the prat is my moral compass." </p><p>Angel stared at him and Spike grew uneasy under the look. </p><p>"Right," he said, "Got places to be an all that." </p><p>"What? No 'thank you' for the Sire's blood?" Angel said.</p><p>Spike recalled time's long ago when he would do absurd favours for even a drop of Sire's blood. A memory surfaced of him sucking on Angelus' big toe in exchange for a sip of his blood. Spike grimaced and threw up a two finger salute as he walked out of the bedroom. He wasn't a fledgling anymore. A few drops of Sire's blood-shmyers blood. Angel could have it.</p><p>Spike left the mansion as covertly as he could. He didn't want to meet up with anyone. He didn't need any distractions. All he wanted was to find Xander. </p><p>He showed up in front of the Stelle house and stood before the front door. He could hear the human’s heart beating within the house and he relaxed his tense shoulders. </p><p>Spike stared at the tiny light glowing out of the doorbell switch and guessed Xander must have fixed it while he was gone. Fortifying himself, he reached out to press the button. He was happy to note just a bell sounded and not a jingle. He listened to the human move towards him. Xander stood on the other side of the door. Spike bounced on his toes and grinned as a shadow covered the peephole.</p><p>Xander unlocked the door and yanked it open. He stood staring at Spike with a shell shocked expression. After a long moment, he reached out his hand to press it against the vampire’s chest. He felt the supple leather and started to shake as he stared into the vampire’s cerulean blue eyes.</p><p>Spike watched the emotions play out on the mortal’s face and he reached out to clasp the mortal's wrist. He moved closer, pulling Xander into a kiss. </p><p>Their lips met a few times before Xander threw his arms around the vampire and the two shared a tight hug. After a long moment, Xander released him and pulled away. Then they were kissing again and manouvering backwards into the house. </p><p>Spike grinned against the human’s mouth as warm hands moved inside his coat and under his shirt. Spike kicked the door shut behind him and leaned his weight back against it. He pulled Xander close and weaseled his thigh between the mortal’s legs. Gods, he’d missed this.</p><p>Xander turned his face to the side to suck in breath. He looked back at Spike with expressive brown eyes before ducking his head and shoving his face into the vampire's neck. He hugged him tight, beyond euphoric. He couldn't believe his vampire was home.</p><p>Spike grinned over the mortal's shoulder and kissed his head as he looked across the room at the Stelle plant. It sat on it’s pedestal, in the center of the foyer, giving off ambient light. Spike noticed a smattering of smaller Stelle plants littered on every available surface. The were Stelle situated everywhere.</p><p>Spike turned his attention back to his human.</p><p>"Missed you, Luv," he said.</p><p>Xander spoke against the leather duster, "What the fuck happened, Spike?"</p><p>"I went back in and got lassoed round the neck, dragged out into the back alley and cold-clocked. Woke up later in a warehouse gutted by a ragtag group of vamps."</p><p>Xander reached out and mapped his hands over the cuts littering the vampire's face and neck with gentle fingertips. </p><p>Spike smiled, ecstatic to be home. He lifted his hand to catch the human's chin. </p><p>Xander flinched his head back when he saw the hole in the vampire's palm. He reached up to grab the vampire's wrists with wide eyes.</p><p>"Jesus, fuck, Spike," he said</p><p>Spike closed his hand, hiding the wound, and wrapped his arms around Xander to pull him close. They kissed again and grew fervent as their mouths got reacquainted. </p><p>Spike’s hands slipped down the back of the mortal’s sweatpants and spread apart Xander’s cheeks. He pulled the human’s body against his own and then lifted his hand to slip his fingers into the Xander’s mouth. The mortal sucked on them as the two of them stared at each other. </p><p>Spike pushed Xander’s sweatpants down with one hand and then pulled his wet fingers from the warm mouth. He slid them inside the crevice of the mortal’s bum to circle the hole before he slipped a digit inside. </p><p>Xander moaned and kissed the vampire’s mouth.</p><p>“We need lube,” Xander breathed against him.</p><p>Spike grinned and pulled his small tube of lube from his duster pocket, “Been dying to use this on you, pet. Hand’s and knees, luv. Bend over. Need to be inside you, like five minutes ago.” </p><p>Xander sunk to his knees and tore open the vampire’s jeans. He had something he wanted to do first. He sucked Spike into his mouth and set to work.</p><p>It didn’t take long for Spike to push the mortal away, spin him around and start tonguing his ass. Xander held himself still, perched on his hands and knees. He stared down at the hard floor as he panted. He waited as the vampire stretched him with his fingers. His erection dribbled and he looked down at it hanging erect. He ached to be filled. It had been too long.</p><p>When the vampire’s cool shaft slid inside of him, after what felt like and eternity, Xander reared up onto his knees with a moan. He reached back to grab the vampire’s bum and shove Spike deeper inside him. </p><p>The two of them held onto eachother as the vampire breathed ragged breath against the mortal’s throat.</p><p>Xander slid himself forward on the vampire’s cock and then pushed himself back on it with a self satisfied sound. Spike growled and gripped the mortal’s hips as he thrust himself as deep as he could. The vampire didn’t temper himself. He’d prepared the mortal by stretching him and he knew his lover could take it. He vamped out and fucked the mortal as violently as he dared.</p><p>Xander held onto the vampire’s flexing buttocks as he accepted the onslaught. Forced onto all fours, he used all his strength to keep himself upright as Spike hammered into him.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike came with a roar as he bit into Xander. He moaned as he sucked on the mortal’s throat.</p><p>Xander grabbed his erection and strangled it, so as to not come himself.</p><p>When Spike calmed, he lifted his head to nuzzle the mortal’s neck, “You’re not coming with me, pet?”</p><p>Xander laughed, “You’re insatiable. I’ll wait till we get to the bed.”</p><p>Spike chuckled and licked his neck, “Mmm, crawl there with me inside you?”</p><p>Xander bit his lip as he kept a firm hold on his cock, “You’re serious?”</p><p>“Wanna feel you crawl with me inside you, Luv.”</p><p>Xander took a deep breath and let go of his dick. He watched a squirt of white land on the ground and Spike chuckled, “Did you just-?”</p><p>Xander shook his head, fiercely, “No... Not yet... I dunno what that was, precum or something.”</p><p>Spike could hear the strain in his pet’s voice, “Gonna crawl, Xan?”</p><p>Xander shivered and nodded. He felt Spike’s dick move within him as the vampire stood up behind him. Xander began to crawl on his hands and kneed towards the stairs. He paused to look down at his rock hard erection dribbling precum. He could feel Spike stuffed deep inside him. </p><p>In a slow crawl, Xander moved towards the stairs on his hands and knees. He started climbing the stairs, gasping as Spike withdrew and shoved deep inside him each step. </p><p>The mortal started giggling as he crawled. He bet they looked hilarious, crawling up the stairs sexually joined. </p><p>Xander was having a full on giggle fit by the time he finally made it to the top of the stairs. He led Spike, by the cock, into the bedroom. Xander crawled his upper body up the bed and then moaned as Spike gripped his weeping erection at the base and started humping him again. Xander tilted his head to the side as the vampire’s cock slid in and out of his ass. Spike bit him and Xander moaned as he thrust into the vampire’s hand.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Xander woke up and rolled over in bed with a smile on his face. He smooshed himself closer to the vampire and sighed as he closed his eyes and got comfortable again. He wanted to go back to sleep but his mind was running a mile a millisecond. </p><p>All he could think about was their sex last night. Both times. Xander grinned as he clenched his bum cheeks. He lay there smiling to himself and remembered Spike fucking him up the stairs and fucking him in the bed, and forcing the orgasm out of him. They then spent the night in bed, making out until Xander was ready to go again. </p><p>Then Xander fucked Spike. Xander grinned broadly as he remembered the feeling of being sheathed inside his vampire.</p><p>He rolled onto his back with a wince turned grin. He couldn't believe how sore he was. He supposed he'd used muscles he often didn’t. He sat up and looked down at the vampire lying beside him. He stared at him fondly as he shifted out of the bed. </p><p>Xander couldn't take his eyes off Spike as he moved across the room. He stopped in the doorway and stared. He told himself that the vampire wouldn't disappear, if he took his eyes off him. Spike was home.</p><p>Xander left the room and went downstairs to the bathroom. </p><p>Grabbing his discarded sweatpants from the night before, he cleaned himself up and made his way into the kitchen to open the fridge. Not seeing anything to eat, he moved across the kitchen to rummage around in a cupboard. He pulled out a sleeve of saltines and then slid his ass up onto the counter to munch on them.</p><p>Xander thanked the gods that it was the weekend. Otherwise, he'd have lost his job. He glanced at the microwave clock and saw that it was 4 pm. Usually his shift ended at either 2 or 3... calling in completely after the shift wasn't going to swing with his boss.</p><p>Xander was grateful he still had another full day off tomorrow. He was happy he would be able to spend time with Spike before the next work week started.</p><p>He looked up as the bleach blonde vampire entered the kitchen. Spike moved sleepily across the floor towards him and situated his hips between Xander's knees before cuddling up against him. Xander stuffed his cracker in his mouth with one hand and chuckled. He set the package down on the counter and wrapped his arms around the vampire.</p><p>Spike sought out a sleepy kiss and Xander happily supplied him with one. Xander swallowed his cracker when he pulled back. The two shared a smile and then they were kissing again. </p><p>The two shared drawn out sappy kisses until Spike turned his head away and stuffed it in Xander's neck.</p><p>Instantly turned on, thinking about Spike biting him last night, Xander couldn't help but unconsciously stretch out his neck.</p><p>Spike chuckled throatily and sucked at his mark. </p><p>Xander swallowed, "Not that I don't want to spend the rest of the day in bed with you, because I really really do, but I gotta go buy some food. Also, Christmas is coming... I had planned on grabbing a few things."</p><p>Spike looked up at him scandalized, "I just got back from being tortured and you're already denying me sex?"</p><p>Xander chuckled, "Yes," </p><p>Spike smirked, "Later then?"</p><p>"Unquestionably," Xander said.</p><p>He reached out for his cracker sleeve, with one hand and Spike lifted his face to kiss him again before pulling away and moving towards the fridge. </p><p>Xander shoved a cracker into his mouth and watched Spike move around the kitchen warming up a mug of blood. He thought about how normal this was for him now. This time last year, he couldn't see himself sitting here watching a vampire eat. Now, he found it reminded him of their sexual encounters and turned him on.</p><p>Xander munched on his crackers as he watched the vampire's demonic face rise to the surface. He blinked as Spike locked eyes with him. The vampire's amber eyes zeroed in on him over the rim of his mug while he drank. Xander felt the hair on the back on his neck rise and he couldn't look away.</p><p>Spike drank his blood and licked his lips. He kept his demon facade forward as he moved to the sink to rinse his cup. </p><p>Xander watched him approach and the two of them stared at one another. Xander lifted his hand to feel the ridges and bumps of the vampire's face.</p><p>Spike closed his eyes while the mortal explored his face with his fingers. It reminded him that he wanted Xander to describe what he looked like to him.</p><p>Xander had never examined a vampire's face up close before. He stared at the different textures of skin, cataloguing the differences between Spike's demonic and human face. He wondered what it would be like to kiss Spike’s vampire face and he closed his eyes and leaned forward.</p><p>Spike kissed the mortal, gently and then let his vampire face recede so he could deepen the kiss. He was shocked by the mortal’s acceptance of him.</p><p>He moaned into the kiss as the demon within him reverberated with love for the mortal. </p><p>Spike pulled back with a grin, as he felt it. He didn't think it possible, but the demon within him wholeheartedly claimed the mortal in his arms. He stared at the brunet and Xander opened his eyes and smiled at him.</p><p>"Have I told you how happy I am that you're back?" </p><p>Spike smirked, "Not as happy as me, Xan."</p><p>Xander kissed him again and then pulled away, "I’m gonna head out in a bit,"</p><p>"I can't believe you're leaving me..." Spike said, "I just got back."</p><p>Xander grinned and kissed him.</p><p>"But you're staying, right? So what's the big deal?"</p><p>Spike stared at the human, "S’not... Just want you so fucking much."</p><p>Xander bit his lower lip as he stared at the vampire. He was shocked to hear the sentiment. He didn’t know what to say. </p><p>The two of them stared at one another.</p><p>"But, you should go," Spike said.</p><p>He took a step back, "I have shit I need to do anyway. Cut up the Stelle and such."</p><p>"You sure?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike nodded, "Yeah, unfortunately."</p><p>Xander slid off the counter with a grin, "Later, though, right?"</p><p>Spike pulled Xander closer by the neck of his shirt, "Yes," </p><p>He kissed him firmly before pushing him away.</p><p>"Definitely later."</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander left the house and walked down the street to the grocery store. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He did some quick grocery shopping and picked up more then he needed. Laden with multiple bags, he took a cab home. When he entered the Stelle house, he didn't see Spike around, so he unloaded the grocery bags and headed back out.</p><p>Xander pat his pockets to make sure he had cash as he entered the large double doors of the Sunnydale Mall. He made a mental note of all the presents he had to buy. There was Buffy, Willow, Giles, Joyce, his parents and Spike. Xander didn't feel the need to buy for anyone else.</p><p>After 3 hours shopping, not only had Xander been up-sold a cellphone contract by a snaky salesman, but he’d also found Christmas gifts for all his friends. He was only really stuck thinking of something for Spike. What does one get someone that old? If the vampire wanted something, wouldn’t he have it already?</p><p>Xander heard the mall warn of impending closure from the speakers in the ceiling as his bladder made itself known. He strode in the direction of the men’s room but stopped short as a little old woman stepped out in front of him.</p><p>"Young man, please have a look at my wares. I'm sure I have just the thing for you," she said.</p><p>Xander glanced up in the direction of the washroom sign and then back at the short lady. He saw a kiosk stationed behind her glittering with shiny chains and gems. </p><p>"Uh, sure, I'll take a look." Xander said.</p><p>He moved towards the kiosk and scanned the sale items. He suddenly wished he hadn't bought Willow's gift already when he saw a pentagram necklace that would suit her perfectly. He glanced at the shop lady and saw she was watching him.</p><p>Xander moved away from her and scanned the entire circumference of the kiosk. He was just about to leave, he still really had to pee, when he saw it. It being a plain silver ring. Xander stared at it. He felt like he'd seen it before.</p><p>He moved his shopping bags to his wrist and reached out to pick up the ring. He scanned it as the shopkeeper sidled up beside him.</p><p>"Ah, yes, the serpentisle. A very unique ring."</p><p>Xander looked at the plain ring dubiously.</p><p>"How much is it?" he said.</p><p>"$500,"</p><p>Xander stared at the lady, aghast, "$500!? Jesus, what's it do?"</p><p>The lady smiled, "It does nothing and so much, at the same time. The serpentisle is a ring of protection."</p><p>Xander spun the ring in between his fingers and then made a split second decision. </p><p>"Can I barter with you?" he said.</p><p>The old woman opened her eyes wide, "You can try,"</p><p>"How about $400?"</p><p>"No," she said.</p><p>Xander stared at her, "Okay, how about $450?"</p><p>"No," she said.</p><p>"$480?"</p><p>"No," she said.</p><p>Xander shook his head, and his mouth pulled to the side, "Alright. $500 even?"</p><p>"Sure," The lady said.</p><p>Xander sighed, “I guess I'll take it."</p><p>Xander reached into his back pocket and fished out the appropriate cash. He was glad to get rid of the hundred dollar bills anyway, Spike kept giving them to him and Xander didn't know where to cash them other then the bank. The old lady held the money up to the light and inspected it.</p><p>Xander watched her inspect all five bills and then she bowed her head at him and took the ring. He watched her place the ring in a small box, which she wrapped nicely in silver paper and a red bow.</p><p>Xander thanked the lady, placed Spike's present into his shopping bag, and then walked briskly towards the washroom.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike moved through the throngs of people exiting the Sunnydale mall. He kept his eyes peeled for Xander so he wouldn’t bump into him. The human reminded him earlier that Christmas was around the corner and he wanted to get the human some sort of gift. He had no idea what to get the whelp, but here he was at the mall.</p><p>He moved through the double doors and waltzed into the service hall as he waited for the mall to fully empty and the stores to lock up. After ten minutes, he entered the mall proper and started looking into shops for ideas.</p><p>The vampire wandered the mall for a bit and realized he had no idea what Xander even liked. </p><p>Deciding on candy being a common staple in the human's diet, he picked the lock on a gate to the sweet shop. He let himself into the store and grabbed a bag from behind the counter. He moved around the shop looking at all the junk food and then meandered into the British sweet section. Spike grinned and began to stuff his bag full.</p><p>He shoved the candy sack into his coat and left the shop. He pulled the store gate down behind him and turned to leave, stopping dead in his tracks as he saw his human standing 20 feet away. </p><p>What was Xander doing here?</p><p>Spike moved towards his human. </p><p>"What's going on, pet?"</p><p>Xander smiled a relieved smile when he saw Spike. He held two bags, one in each hand. </p><p>"Well, I was shopping,” he said, “Then while I was in the bathroom the mall closed... I've been looking for a way out for the last ten minutes. All the doors are locked." </p><p>Spike stared at the human, "You can't leave?"</p><p>Xander shook his head, "I swear, I've tried every door."</p><p>Spike smirked and tilted his head.</p><p>"What?" Xander said.</p><p>“Nuthin’,” Spike chuckled, "I'll lead you out through the sewers, Luv."</p><p>Xander shook his head and sighed, “Of course you will."</p><p>Spike started walking towards the service hallway and Xander fell into step beside him.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander lay on his stomach, lounging in the aftermath of some amazing sex. Spike swirled his finger around on the skin of the human's back while staring at the muted TV.</p><p>Xander kept his eyes closed as he tried to figure out what Spike was drawing on his back. He thought it was a pirate ship, but wasn't quite sure. Then, second’s later, Xander had to forget about it completely. The vampire caressed his back with his palm as if he was wiping down a blackboard. </p><p>Xander sighed contently as Spike started drawing with his finger again. He smiled as he felt the ornate cursive letters tickle down his back. </p><p>First he deciphered an L, followed by an O. V was next and then an E. </p><p>Xander swallowed as he recognized the word. He felt the next letter, a Y, swirl down his spine. He shivered and waited for the next letter. He felt the O swirl around his skin next, followed by a U.</p><p>Xander's eye's opened as he lay there with his head in his arms. His mind raced as he digested what Spike secretly told him.</p><p>Dazed, Xander felt Spike continue to draw letters on his back. He registered a P and an E before he swung his head around to stare at the vampire.</p><p>Xander felt the T drawn against his spine as he stared into impossibly blue eyes.</p><p>Neither spoke. Xander didn't know what to say. Spike hadn't actually said he'd loved him. He hadn't spoken the words out loud.</p><p>Xander wondered if he'd deciphered the touch correctly. He wondered if he'd read too much into it. </p><p>Spike smiled at him. The vampire appeared happy. His eyes slowly blinked. </p><p>Xander returned the smile and levelled himself over the vampire. He moved closer to kiss him as he tried to convey a reciprocal feeling for what he thought he'd felt against his back.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Anya</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>After Drusilla fed from Angel, she returned to Jamie's farm house for a safe night of sleep and to scavenge her meager belongings. Before she left the next evening, she stood before her cupboard in the office. She reached out for her small satchel of items and saw the tongue she'd procured for Jamie. She stared at the tongue in the jar and picked it up. She no longer had any need for it. Jamie was dead. They wouldn't be doing the ritual again.</p><p>Drusilla stood staring at the tongue as she thought about the vision she'd had after Jamie died.</p><p>She's seen that their first try at the ritual had been successful after all. They'd broken the Masskara curse for Jamie. Only, neither of them realized it at the time. As the curse was placed on him at such a young age by his parents, Jamie had no way of knowing which memories were missing. No indication that anything had changed because of the ritual. Jamie had no way to reactivate the synapses in his mind. No access to the long forgotten memories of how his sister really died. There was no way for him to remember that which had been forgotten.</p><p>That was, until William's pet human made him remember.</p><p>Drusilla smirked to herself and started humming as she collected her things. She carried the jar out of the house with her and wandered over to the pond. She poured the tongue out of the jar and then dropped the glass to the ground. She watched the tongue sink into the murky water and smiled. It was almost over.</p><p> </p><p>* * * </p><p> </p><p>Xander lay in bed next to Spike lackadaisically dozing. The vampire was asleep but Xander was awake and holding Spike's palm in his hand. He stared at the nearly healed wound and thought about Spike drinking from him. He grew giddy thinking about it. He liked being able to heal his vampire. He smiled as he set the cool palm down on his nude skin. He nuzzled closer and sighed happily. </p><p>The piercing ring of a phone shook him fully awake and he opened his eyes to look at the vampire laying next to him. It took him a moment to realize that the sound was coming from his new cellphone across the room. He pushed himself up onto his arms and found his movement halted. Xander grinned as he looked down to see himself locked in Spike's embrace.</p><p>"I gotta get that,” he said.</p><p>"No, you don't," Spike said, "I just got back,"</p><p>Xander turned to look at the vampire’s pouting face.</p><p>"We live on a Hellmouth..." he said.</p><p>Spike squinted at him as he let his arms unlock. "Fine," he said, "But be quick about it."</p><p>Xander scrambled out of the bed and rushed to find his new cell phone in his backpack.</p><p>Spike watched the mortal answer the phone. He twisted in the sheets and sat up, propping himself up against the headboard as he wondered when Xander picked up a cellphone. Spike frowned as he watched the color drain from the human's face. He squinted as he focused on listening to the phone call. He heard the witch explain that Anya was in the hospital.<br/> <br/>Spike swallowed thickly and shifted out of the bed, fully awake. He grabbed his jeans from the floor and pulled them on. Then he sat on the edge of the bed to stuff his feet into his socks and boots. He looked around for his shirt and then scrubbed his hands back through his hair as he recalled that his shirt and coat were downstairs in the foyer. A smirk swept over the vampire’s mouth as he recalled the night before. </p><p>Spike glanced up as the mortal hang up the phone. Xander's eyes sought him out and the two stared at one another.</p><p>"They found Anya," he said.</p><p>Spike stared, "I heard, luv,"</p><p>The mortal blinked, "Oh, right..."</p><p>Xander saw Spike half dressed and he glanced down at himself and bent down to grab a pair of mismatched socks. He sat down on the edge of the bed to pull them on and after he was done he sat staring at his hands.</p><p>Spike sat down next to him and rubbed his palm up the mortal's back. He settled his cool hand to rest on the nape of the mortal’s neck and said, "Rest of our kit's downstairs, Pet."</p><p>Xander leaned to the side and curled against the vampire. He rubbed his face into the vampire’s neck and after a moment pulled back to brush a kiss across Spike's mouth.</p><p>"Thank you," he said.</p><p>Spike followed Xander’s lead and stood from the bed. They travelled downstairs, in silence, and finished dressing before they left the house and got in the car. Spike drove them over to the hospital and when they walked into the waiting room a hush came over the tittering Scooby gang. The vampire slouched against the wall near the door, while Xander stood licking his lips and looking between his friends.</p><p>"How is she?" he asked.</p><p>"She’s in a coma," Buffy said, "That’s all we know."</p><p>Xander moved further into the room and accepted a hug from Buffy. He hugged Willow too, and then took a seat beside Giles. He sadly smiled at the older man as Giles pat his knee. They shared a look.</p><p>"Does anyone know what happened?" Xander said.</p><p>He looked around the room and saw Spike standing up against the far wall watching him. Xander glanced toward Willow as she spoke.</p><p>"We don't know for sure, but I think she's under a curse. Giles and I will work it out as soon as we can,"</p><p>Xander nodded and looked down at his hands. He felt guilty. If he hadn't been such an asshole to Anya, she likely wouldn’t be in this predicament. If he hadn’t been so selfish, maybe things would be different.</p><p>Spike glanced to the side as he eavesdropped an officer talking to a nurse at the registration desk. He squinted as he listened to them talk about Anya Jenkins. He couldn't quite make out what they were saying so he pushed off the wall to exit the room. </p><p>Standing in the hall, a decent space between himself and the nurses station, Spike listened to the police officer gossip with the nurse. Apparently, they’d found Anya abandoned in the old Caledonia farm house on Harbor drive. An anonymous tip was phoned in. When the police found her, they could tell that Anya had been tortured. The doctors x-rays indicated that the bone breaks had been repeated over the span of several months. Her leg bones were shattered a million ways from Sunday.</p><p>Hearing enough, the vampire slipped back into the waiting room to return to the Scooby gang. Xander looked over at him as he came in and Spike gave him a slight shake of the head.</p><p>Xander glanced back at Giles as the old man told everyone that they might as well go home, since Anya wouldn't be waking up any time soon. Xander wanted to argue that he could stay, but Willow jumped in to say she was staying too. She promised to stay at Anya’s bedside until they figured out the curse. </p><p>Xander thanked Willow with a hug before leaving the waiting room. Spike followed his human out of the room and sidled up next to him. They walked the empty corridors towards the exit in silence.</p><p>Once the breezy night air caressed him, Xander looked over and reached out for Spike's hand. The two stared at one another and Spike tugged the mortal towards the car. </p><p>They walked through the parking lot and reached the vehicle. Seeing Xander was apathetic with shock, Spike opened the passenger door and pushed the mortal down into the seat. The blond then reached over the human with the seat belt to buckle him in before shutting the door and moving around the car to hop in the driver side.</p><p>The vampire pulled the vehicle out onto the street and began to drive. Xander immediately noticed they weren't heading home.</p><p>"Where we headed?" he said.</p><p>"I wanna investigate the old Caledonia farm house. It's where she was found."</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire, "Caledonia had her?"</p><p>Spike grunted in response and Xander shifted in his seat and sat back to stare out the front windshield. His mind was a mess.</p><p>They pulled onto harbor drive a few minutes later and Spike rolled down the car window as he slowed the car. He didn't know exactly where Anya had been held up, but he figured he’d be able to smell her scent. It didn’t take long before he zeroed in on the property. He pulled the car over and climbed out with Xander following behind him.</p><p>The two crossed the street and Spike helped the mortal climb over a silver metal gate covered in caution tape. The two entered a large tree lined farm yard with a swampy pond off to one side. They walked along the gravel path circumventing the bog and approached the old house.</p><p>Spike stopped walking and he squinted around to stare at the dark trees lining the property while he sniffed.</p><p>Xander stood next to him, wondering what the vampire heard in the hush of night. He bit his lip as he looked around the unkempt yard. He wondered what they were doing there. </p><p>Xander’s mind was a mess. He still couldn't believe that Anya was in a coma in the hospital. Not only that but both her legs were broken. He felt immensely guilty since he hadn’t thought about Anya in months. Ever since they broke up, he’d pushed all thoughts of her from his mind. It had been easy enough, what with all the weirdness of living on a Hellmouth. Not to mention, he’d been solely focused on his budding new relationship with Spike. He hadn’t thought about Anya at all.</p><p>The vampire grabbed his hand and Xander came back to the present. He followed Spike up the front stairs of the old farm house and watched as he tried the door knob and found it locked. Spike let go of Xander’s hand and knelt before the door. The vampire slid a tiny Alan key from his pocket and set into the lock mechanism. Then, he glanced up.</p><p>"Oi,” he said, “You should be doing this."</p><p>Xander blinked at the vampire as if he was slow, "I don't know how to pick locks, Spike."</p><p>"Teaching moment, innit?" </p><p>Xander stared at the vampire and Spike stared back and lifted his eyebrow. </p><p>Xander let out a chuckle in a breath. He lowered himself to his knees beside the vampire, "Alright. What goes where?"</p><p>Spike handed Xander a bent bobby pin and pointed at the Alan key in the lock. "Here, hold this in the lock for tension. Apply constant pressure to the left there, yeah, like that. Now slide the bobby pin in the lock and jiggle the key pins up. Just keep at it until it opens."</p><p>Xander focused on jiggling the lock as Spike stood up and glanced around. </p><p>After a couple of minutes, Xander looked up at the vampire ecstatic.</p><p>"Holy shit! I can't believe that worked!"</p><p>Spike smirked as he pulled the tools from the lock and stuffed them into his duster pocket. He waited for the human to stand up and then the two of them entered the house. Xander turned on the lights out of instinct so he could see. Spike stared at him a beat before moving through the house.  There was no one in the old farm house and they didn't find anything that stood out.</p><p>"I guess that it,”  Xander said, “Should we should go?"</p><p>Spike shook his head, "Not yet,"</p><p>The vampire wandered the main corridor of the house and found himself in an empty office. He breathed deep through the dust and moved into the room to scan the cupboards and drawers. </p><p>Xander stood in the doorway watching him, "What are you looking for?" </p><p>Spike shrugged and glanced back at him, "Not sure, pet."</p><p>The vampire pulled open a cupboard and stared at the empty shelves. He took another deep breath before he shut it and turned back to Xander.</p><p>"This whole place wreaks of Drusilla,” Spike said, “This room especially." </p><p>Xander swallowed as the two held eyes. He didn't know why Spike mentioning Drusilla irked him so much. Spike was with him, he'd come back to him. He didn’t chose Drusilla. Despite this, he still found himself full of raging jealousy in his chest. He backed up out of the doorway.</p><p>"I'll go check out the main room," Xander said.</p><p>Spike didn't stop the human from walking away from him. He could see the change come over the whelp's face when he mentioned Dru. He knew Xander didn't trust what was between them, and he hadn't helped things by running after his Sire and disappearing.</p><p>Spike sighed. He didn't know what he was doing. He glanced around the room. Drusilla was fine. She'd been rescued. She'd got her dose of sire's blood to heal her hands. She was fine.</p><p>The vampire licked his lips and looked around the dusty room. </p><p>What was he doing? He didn't need to know why this room smelled like Dru. He didn’t need to be here. What he needed was to make sure his human was happy with him. He'd just got him back. </p><p>Spike strode out of the old room and followed the sound of Xander's beating heart. He pushed open the door and entered the stuffy main living room. He scanned the mortal's tense back as he approached.</p><p>"What wrong, pet?"</p><p>The human spun around and looked up at him with wide eyes. He held open a book in his hands.</p><p>"I- I think I found something," Xander said.</p><p>Spike approached and took the book from him. He scanned the open page and saw a list of eleven names.</p><p> “Wot?” Spike said, "Looks like a child's scrawl..."</p><p>Xander nodded, "I think it is,"</p><p>Spike looked at him in question.</p><p>Xander swallowed.</p><p>"I think its Jamie's kill list from when he was a kid," he said.</p><p>Spike scanned down the list of names. "Wot makes you think that?"</p><p>Xander licked his lips. His eyes were still wide.</p><p>"Because those kids went missing a long time ago. I remember some of them... I remember all of it."</p><p>The vampire stared at the mortal.</p><p>"This what you were talking about with Jamie during our meeting?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander nodded, "Yeah... I remembered everything when I saw the family portrait above his head. There were four people in the photo... That's when I remembered he had a sister."</p><p>Spike squinted at Xander, "What happened?"</p><p>"Sally Whitehall-Caledonia, Jamie's sister, went missing... I remember the whole town was in an uproar to find her because the Caledonia's had money. It was the big story around town- despite the fact that tons of other kids went missing around that time too. Anyway, Jamie moved away and I remember hearing a rumor that he'd drowned his sister and been sent away... But, I guess, it was all actually true... And, in the end it was a lot more kids then just his sister."</p><p>Spike looked at the book in his hands and snapped it shut. He tossed it down on the nearest surface. The sound of it was loud in the resounding quiet of the farm house.</p><p>"They were buried here... on this property," Xander said.</p><p>Spike stared at the human and tilted his head, “In the swamp, yeah,"</p><p>"We should go," Xander said, "I'm super icked out and we haven't found anything to help Anya."</p><p>Spike nodded and grabbed the human's warm hand. He wound their fingers together and pulled the mortal out of the house and back towards the car. He helped Xander over the metal gate and then hopped over himself.</p><p>The vampire watched the human head for the drivers side to get behind the wheel. Spike slid into the passenger side, and waited as Xander turned the car on. Soon, Spike saw they weren't heading home. He rolled his head back against his headrest to stare at the human.</p><p>“Where we going?”</p><p>Xander didn’t answer so Spike continued to stare at him while they drove back towards the hospital. </p><p>Spike planned to stay in the car but at the last minute decided to follow the human inside. He needed to stock up his fridge. They walked the quiet hallways together and then split apart when Spike wandered off to filch some blood bags. </p><p>Xander watched Spike take a detour from him and wondered where the vampire was off to. Unaffected, he continued down the hall towards the reception desk and got directed to Anya’s room. </p><p>He stopped in front of the correct door and saw it was half open. He couldn’t see anything beyond the door and he bit his bottom lip as he asked himself why he thought it wise to bring his new boyfriend to see his ex-girlfriend who was laid up in the hospital. Further more, he wondered what he was even doing coming to see Anya at all. They weren't together anymore. </p><p>Conflicted by his troubled thoughts, Xander pushed open the door and entered Anya's room. He saw Willow and Giles sitting on either side of the bed. Anya lay between them, white as a ghost, covered in beads and herbs. </p><p>Xander stared at Anya and blinked. She looked nothing like she did when he’d last seen her. He gulped. At least she looked peaceful, what with the coma and all. Xander pursed his lips so as not to speak when he saw Willow and Giles each doing spells. He took a step back and was about to turn around and leave when Willow opened her eyes.</p><p>"Xander?"</p><p>Xander nodded and forced a smile. Giles didn't open his eyes. </p><p>Xander whispered, "Am I bothering you?"</p><p>Willow shook her head and motioned him over. The two huddled together and talked in low whispers.</p><p>"So, we were able to figure out that Anya’s the massive demon,”</p><p>“What? Big blue? Anya was that giant jerk? How?”</p><p>Willow nodded, “She’s part of the demon. The demon's actually a phantasmagoric amalgamation – a curse. Anya was a part of it, and so was someone else. There's another soul trapped along side hers... They're both in that big Blue demon."</p><p>Speechless, Xander covered his mouth with his hands. </p><p>Willow watched him with sympathy, "Anya’s soul is fine, for what it's worth. It’s not tainted or anything." </p><p>Xander lifted his head to eye the witch, "How bad off is she?"</p><p>Willow shrugged, "We won’t know until she wakes up."</p><p>"Fuckin’ Jamie,” Xander sighed, “So, how do we break this curse?"</p><p>Willow glanced at Giles. He still had his eyes closed. She noticed the ex-librarian sweating lightly before she looked back at Xander. "It's hard to say. We're working on it."</p><p>Xander stood up, "Alright, I'll get out of your hair. Do you need any food or anything?"</p><p>Willow shook her head, "No. Thanks."</p><p>Xander gave Willow an awkward hug and glanced at Giles and Anya as he pulled back. Both of them had their eyes closed. </p><p>“Ciao for now, then,” Xander said.</p><p>Willow nodded and forced a smile before closing her eyes and lowering her head.</p><p>Biting his lower lip, Xander took one last look at Anya before he head out the door. He saw Spike leaning against the wall waiting for him in the hallway. The vampire's head was turned to the side and he was obviously eavesdropping on something elsewhere. Xander couldn't stop himself from smiling as he saw him. </p><p>The vampire turned his head to look at him and Xander nodded towards the entrance. He started walking and Spike fell into step with him. The two left the hospital and strode towards the parking lot in silence.</p><p>Xander moved to slide into the passenger seat and without words Spike got behind the wheel of the car. Knowing the mortal preferred to drive, Spike pondered what was wrong with his human while he drove them home. </p><p>The two of them entered the Stelle house and Xander flicked on a light and kicked off his shoes before walking into the kitchen. </p><p>Spike watched him for a beat before following him. He unloaded his pockets and tossed the blood bags into the fridge while the mortal riffled around with old takeout boxes. Spike left the room while Xander nuked leftover pasta. </p><p>When the microwave beeped, Xander withdrew his food and set it on the counter. He stood eating it, half hunched over, and thought for the millionth time that Spike needed to invest in a kitchen table. His thoughts soon reverted back to Anya in a coma in the hospital. He couldn't help but feel a pit of guilt low in his stomach. He felt responsible for her being in the position she was in... If he hadn't been so cruel to her, maybe things would be different.</p><p>After he was finished eating, Xander rinsed his fork and plate and trudged upstairs to lay in bed. He wanted to lay down and watch mindless TV to take his mind off Anya. He stopped in his tracks at the bedroom doorway. He swallowed as he saw Spike was already laying in bed. The vampire caught his gaze and lifted the blankets up in welcome. </p><p>A slight smile curled Xander’s mouth as he approached the bed. He crawled in next to the vampire and instantly felt himself cocooned by blankets. He snuggled closer to the vampire and held on tight. He shut his eyes and pressed his face into Spike’s cool throat. He felt the strong hands caress his back and spine and Xander let out a long sigh as he felt himself begin to relax.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike laid stroking Xander's back until the human was sound asleep. Afterwards, he slipped out of bed and started moving around the house. He checked on the drying Stelle hanging in the basement then went back upstairs and decided to coalesce the two plant rooms into one. He was ducking down, just grabbing his first plant, when he paused. There was someone on the front porch.</p><p>A smart knock sounded at the door as Spike set down the plant in his hand. He moved down the stairs three at a time and looked through the peep hole. His shoulders relaxed as he saw it was the little red headed witch. He affected a bored expression as he pulled open the door.</p><p>"What can I do for you, red?"</p><p>Willow smiled, "Sorry to bug you, Spike, but I need your help,"</p><p>"You wanna come in?" Spike said.</p><p>Willow shook her head, "No. I want you to come out with me, actually."</p><p>Spike stared at her and then nodded. He looked over his shoulder into the foyer for his coat. </p><p>"Gimme a mo," he said.</p><p>Willow nodded and then rocked on her feet as she waited alone on the porch. She looked around at the dark surroundings and was grateful when Spike returned a moment later. She watched him lock the door behind himself. </p><p>Spike noticed the witch staring at him intently, "Wot?"</p><p>"Oh, nothing," Willow said, "I was just wondering if Xander was in there."</p><p>Spike pursed his lips as they walked down the stairs.</p><p>"So what if he is?"</p><p>Willow shrugged, "Oh, I dunno... I'd just like to see him sometime, ya know... Like when we're not brought together only because of disaster, I guess."</p><p>Spike looked at the witch as he retrieved a smoke from his breast pocket, "Sounds like a you issue, Red. What's this ya want from me?"</p><p>Willow narrowed her eyes, but let it go.</p><p>"I’m doing a spell, but I need to do it in a place that I can never go back to again. Like, ever again. And I thought you could help me find a place. I’m guessing you’ve roamed parts of Sunnydale I've never even seen. So, what do ya say? Know of any obscure, hard to find places in Sunnydale?"</p><p>Spike stared at the witch as he smoked his cigarette. A wolf howled in the distance and he let out a long plumb of opaque smoke. </p><p>"Yeah, alright.... A place you'll never go again?"</p><p>Willow nodded, "Yep. I need to imbue a wand. It’s our only hope to break the curse on Anya. Giles and I already prepared the invocation. All I need now is a place to do the spell."</p><p>"Why can’t you ever go back?" Spike said.</p><p>“When I cast the spell it’ll suck all magic out of the surrounding area,” Willow said, “Which creates a mystical void. And the void, if I re-enter it, will suck the magic out of me and kill me."</p><p>"Right," Spike said.</p><p>He turned his head away from the witch and continued smoking his cigarette as he contemplated the dark night.</p><p>Willow watched him as she nibbled her lip and glanced around. </p><p>"What happens, say, if I walk into the void?" Spike asked.</p><p>Willow blinked, "Oh, absolutely nothing. And the magic will eventually recharge. It's only me that can't go back to the area."</p><p>Spike licked his lips and nodded. He smoked the last dredge of his smoke as his mind catapulted through various haunts in good old SD. He suddenly came up with a great idea. The perfect obscure spot. One of his favorites, actually. And if the witch could never return, then he'd never find her in his sweet spot in the future.</p><p>Spike tossed his smoke butt and lead the redhead into the thick woods.</p><p>Despite his lack of desire for information, Spike broached the topic of Anya for Xander's sake. Willow explained that imbuing the wand was imperative for success. Neither she nor Giles could figure out what kind of curse Anya was under and the wand was a sure fire way to overpower the curse and wake Anya up.</p><p>The two chatted about Anya more as they walked along the man made paths winding through the woods. </p><p>They eventually arrived at a huge rock face and Willow laughed, "Yeah, I'm not climbing that."</p><p>Spike glanced at the girl, the massive rock, and then the girl again. He smiled and turned it on the witch.</p><p>"Don't worry, Red. I'll get ya up there."</p><p>"No, no, no,” Willow said, “I don't think so."</p><p>Spike reached out and grabbed the red head to pull her close. He lifted her up into his arms and smirked as she shrieked.</p><p>"Hold on," he said.</p><p>Willow cried out instinctively as she was lifted. She wrapped her arms and legs around the vampire’s torso and held on tightly as Spike moved towards the rock. Willow squinted her eyes closed and held on for dear life.</p><p>Spike let go of the girl, once he was sure she was holding herself up, and reached out to start climbing the rock face. He carried the girl up to the top, with ease, and once they crested he rolled them both over the edge before releasing her so they could stand up.</p><p>Willow slowly climbed to her feet as looked around in disbelief. The view was magnificent. There was no light pollution and the sky was rich and vibrantly illuminated. She could see stars as far as her eyes could see. Thick green tree's littered the terrain. She was surprised by how much of town she could see. She felt like she was in a bird's nest.</p><p>"Gods, Spike! Why'd you bring me to such a magical place? Now I can never come back here!"</p><p>Spike looked around, feeling a strange sense of king of the castle. "Could find another place, if you like." </p><p>As he said it, he hoped she didn't take him up on it.</p><p>Willow shook her head as she looked around in wonder, "No, no... This is actually a pretty momentous spell... This area seems rather appropriate."</p><p>The two of them stood staring at the scenery in silent repose on top of the massive rock. </p><p>Willow shuffled around the stone plateau and as she got close to the edge she was consumed by the fear of falling. She backed into the center of the massive rock and accepted that this was indeed the perfect spot. There was no easy way up here, there was no way she could accidentally return here. It was perfect. The stone plateau was wide enough for her casting circle, and impossible for her to get to again.</p><p>The witch grinned at the vampire, "Thanks Spike."</p><p>Willow put her hand in her side satchel and pulled out a white piece of chalk. She began drawing her circle on the dirty stone as she tried to keep calm. She was filled with giddy exuberance. She'd never done a spell of this magnitude before, and the fact that Giles trusted her with it warmed her through and through. She bit her lip and forced herself to focus on the spell. She couldn't muck this up.</p><p>Spike watched the witch set up her spell and then he heard something that drew his curiosity.</p><p>"Be back in a bit," he said.</p><p>Willow glanced up to see the vampire drop off the rock face. She stared after him wondering where he was going but then she shoved it down and thought of the wand she was about to make. She had to concentrate. </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike growled at the little red headed witch as the two of them stood in the empty hospital parking lot. The vampire was covered head to toe in a red slime which the bint had thrown at him with her fancy new wand. </p><p>"Hey, it's not my fault you went toe to toe with little mini Spike back there," Willow said. </p><p>The witch snickered and Spike growled as he recalled the moment he'd helped the witch down from the rock wall and been surprised by a skunk. Willow backed away from him in such a fright that Spike turned around expecting to come toe to toe with a demon. Instead, he'd looked down to see a fluffy black rodent with white stripes. He took one step back from it and accidentally stepped on a second little bugger that was standing behind him. </p><p>In seconds, Spike was sprayed by both skunks, and Willow was backing up further and further away as she pulled her shirt up to cover her nose. </p><p>Spike gagged ad nauseam, as the two skunks vanished into the bushes. The smell was overpowering.</p><p>The vampire then stood stalk still as he was soaked head to toe in a red liquid. He glared at the witch but simmered his rage to an angry sulk as he saw she was still pointing her wand at him. </p><p>Spike looked down at his sopping wet coat and growled. He was soaked. Even his pockets were filled. He sniffed and coughed at the mingled flavors. The witch covered him in tomato juice.</p><p>He'd been ambushed by bloody skunks and then the bint had the nerve to douse him in tomato juice. He growled as she giggled about his unfortunate circumstance. Spike reached out for her vindictively, but Willow kept her distance. </p><p>"It helped, didn't it?" she said.</p><p>Spike growled as he tried to drain a pocket. After a second he gave up his plight and relented, "Masked the smell a bit, yeah."</p><p>Willow continued to giggle at the state of him as she tried to explain why she found the situation so funny but Spike wasn't able to find the humor. </p><p>"Well, you got yer fancy new wand,” Spike said.</p><p>They were standing in the hospital parking lot.</p><p>“And, yer deposited back to safety,” Spike said, “...You're welcome."</p><p>Willow bit down on her laughing smile and straightened, "Of course. Thank you, Spike... I mean it. I couldn't have done it without you."</p><p>"Right," Spike sighed, "Guess I need to bathe,"</p><p>Willow bit down on her lip to keep the bubble of laughter from emerging. Her smile grew larger and larger and she lifted her hand up to cover her face as her mind replayed the hilarious moment when Spike and the Skunk scared one another.</p><p>"Oh shut it," Spike said before storming off.</p><p>He could hear her tittering behind him and he growled to himself as he stalked home. </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Willow appeared with the magical wand and her and Giles used it to work on breaking the curse on Anya. It took them an hour of spell work but finally they were able to break the curse. </p><p>Unfortunately, nothing happened. </p><p>Willow was sweaty and drained. She stared at Giles who appeared defeated. The older man put his head in his hands and Willow reached out to touch his arm. He looked over at her and she smiled. </p><p>"Go home, Giles," Willow said, "You need to shower and rest."</p><p>"What about you?" he said.</p><p>Willow shrugged and grinned at him, "Us youngin’s can handle the sleep loss."</p><p>Giles pursed his lips but Willow could see the smile beneath. </p><p>"I'll sit with Anya and wait to see if there’s any change," she said.</p><p>Giles appeared to resist, but then leaned into Willow and gave her a chaste kiss before thanking her and taking her up on the offer. He groaned while he stood up from his chair like a transforming robot.</p><p>Willow watched Giles leave as she sat back in her chair and began cleaning up the spell components. She placed the wand in her satchel and cleaned up the oil they’d used on Anya with a napkin. After she was done, she sat twirling her thumbs. Eventually, she dozed off in her chair.<br/> <br/>Willow woke up in a fright as Anya woke up screaming. The first thing Willow saw was Anya’s tear streaked face. She was a picture of pain and despair. Willow jumped in her skin as she heard the noises of agony tear from Anya's throat. The witch scrambled up and tried to grab Anya's arm. Once she had skin contact, she spoke a spell to alleviate pain. Willow then focused on channeling a spell into Anya that would calm her. </p><p>After a few moments, Willow watched Anya calm her crying and shift her upper body away from her. Anya tried to climb from the bed. And Willow’s eye’s went wide in panic. She knew Anya couldn't stand on her broken legs and she begged her not to try it. </p><p>Anya ignored her and struggled to shove her casts off the bed. Willow moved in front of Anya as the blond shifted off the side of the bed to stand on her broken limbs.</p><p>"Please! Please, stay on the bed!" Willow said, "You can't walk!"</p><p>Anya wasn't listening. She cried out as she fell, unable to support herself on her shattered legs. Willow lunged out to catch Anya as she fell toward the floor and Anya let out a silent shrieked of agony. As Willow struggled to keep hold of her upper body Anya's silent scream morphed into a wale and Willow winced as Anya screamed in her ear. The witch was having a hell of a time trying to hold Anya up. She could barely hold her up on a good day but Anya was struggling and resisting. Willow didn’t know what to do.</p><p>Angel appeared in the doorway. He'd been pacing the hall as a guard since Giles called him earlier to let him know they'd broken the curse. Now, though, he was curious what was happening inside the hospital room. He quickly moved in and took the broken crying girl from Willow’s arms. He moved Anya back onto her bed and held her down as she struggled feebly against him. The vampire ignored her as she whined pitifully and stared at the redhead. </p><p>"Thank the gods you came, Angel!" Willow said</p><p>"Giles called earlier and said you broke the curse," Angel said.</p><p>"I need to go!" Anya said, “My baby!”</p><p>Willow and Angel both gaped, wide-eyed, at Anya. </p><p>“My baby!” Anya cried.</p><p>Angel and Willow glanced at one another.</p><p>"What do we do?" Angel said.</p><p>Willow bit her lip and shrugged. She turned to Anya and tried to talk with a soft voice, "Where do you need to go, Anya? What baby?" </p><p>Anya wiggled against Angel's hold, "My baby, I have to find my baby. Please! Let me save my baby!"</p><p>Willow and Angel looked at one another again, in confusion. Willow took an unsure step backwards. She closed her eyes as she turned and left the room. Angel looked after her helpless as Anya bit his hand. He winced and glared at the crying blond.</p><p>Willow returned moments later with a wheelchair, "Here, we can use this."</p><p>"You can't be serious," Angel said, "We can't take her out of here."</p><p>Willow stood up to her full height, "Well, we are... So, either help me put her in the chair or get out of the way.”</p><p>Angel stared at the redhead in disbelief and then shook his head as he glanced at Anya who was suddenly calm and staring at him. Angel lifted Anya into the wheelchair and then watched as Willow pushed Anya out of the room. She glanced back at Angel as she paused in the doorway, "You coming?"</p><p>Angel sighed and followed the girls out of the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>In the parking lot, Willow stopped and asked Anya where they were going. Anya cried, unknowing, and Willow looked up at Angel for help. Angel shrugged and watched as Willow knelt down and took Anya's hands.</p><p>"Envision where you need to go. I'll create a light that leads us in that direction, okay. Just close your eyes and think of where you need to go."</p><p>Angel watched as Willow reached into the satchel on her hip with one hand while holding Anya's hand with the other. With her hand still inside her satchel, Willow said a short spell and a tiny yellow sphere of light blinked into existence.</p><p>"Good job, Anya," Willow said.</p><p>She stood up and started pushing the wheelchair again, thankful she now had directions. </p><p>The tiny yellow speck of light led them towards the docks. Angel rushed ahead as he heard a heartbeat. Willow rushed to catch up, pushing Anya ahead of her. They rounded a corner and saw Angel rush into an old dilapidated building.</p><p>Willow maneuvered Anya's chair through the halls. They eventually found Angel and stopped in the doorway to watch him. He was laying his coat out on the ground and picking up an infant child that he found laying in the center of a bunch of zombies bits.</p><p>Angel wrapped up the baby and moved towards the girls. He knelt down and placed the little bundle in Anya's arms. Teardrops covered the small cherubic face as Anya cried and held the infant close. </p><p>Willow looked up from the baby and Anya. She and Angel shared a confused smile. Willow then began to roll Anya and the baby back to the hospital. Meanwhile, Angel hovered and made sure the three of them made the trip back safely.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>The next night, after tucking Xander into bed, Spike stepped out of the house. The human planned to wake up early for work tomorrow, so the vampire decided now was as good time to go check out his new nightclub. </p><p>He wandered up to the burned out building and saw it for what it was without the glamour. He tasted ashes in his mouth as he saw that the long blue wall no longer existed. Instead, the building was an old warehouse. The roof was caved in and the entire thing was shot. </p><p>Spike closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was upset that the magic no longer worked. He assumed the fire broke down all the grandfather charms. He opened his eyes, startled, by a sound. His eyes widened as he watched the burned down building begin to transform before him. </p><p>Spike watched the front of the building morph magically. A smirk curved his mouth as he saw the structure transform into a Tim Burton shaped house. Large white light bulbs illuminated the distinct lines of the giant house. A neon sign dominated the entryway and Spike snorted as he read the red sign proclaiming the club to be called Thirst. He grinned. It was appropriate.</p><p>Spike crossed the threshold as the doorway fixed itself. He stood watching wood and nails fly across the room in front of him and he paused to watch the flurry of activity. Not wanting to risk getting staked, he stood in the doorway watching as the bar formed itself with magic. </p><p>He watched the club come together with a fascinated grin on his face. He couldn't wait to explore the place once it was done. He wanted to look further inside, but he stayed back to watch the club form.</p><p>He spent the majority of the night in the new club, suspended in surprised fascination. </p><p>Eventually, Spike had to head home as daylight threatened, and he walked across town with his head in the clouds. He couldn't believe his plan worked. He now had his very own nightclub. He was beyond chuffed.</p><p>He entered the Stelle house and crept upstairs. He snuggled up next to his human in the warm bed as he daydreamed of what he wanted to do with the club. He fell asleep just before the sun rose.</p><p> </p><p>* * * </p><p><br/>Before the sun set, Spike woke up and reached out for Xander. He immediately noticed him missing and sighed dejected. He’d been excited for some morning nookie. Spike listened for a heartbeat and heard nothing move in the silent house. He crawled from the bed, curious where his human was off to, but not worried. He drank a pack of blood warmed up in his favourite mug, while he checked over the Stelle. When he was satisfied with the state of the plants, and the sun had gone down, he left the house and headed over to the nightclub.</p><p>Spike stood grinning like a lunatic as he stared up at the illuminated façade of his new club. He stared at the lit up lights illuminating the shape of a house before he moved inside. He walked the entire expanse of the empty building, checking in all nooks and crannies. All the construction was done, but every new room he went into magically morphed into whatever décor he thought about.</p><p>He watched the nightclub fashion itself entirely how he mentally envisioned it. He spent a long while wandering the new building, looking over his club. He was fascinated with the dark décor. Everything was red, black, and ornately Gothic, just how he liked.</p><p>Spike envisioned certain pieces of furniture and layout designs and found it jarring as the room magically adjusted. He watched his dreams come to life in a state of wonderment. Afterwards he moved on to scan the bar more critically. He decided on some aesthetic lighting choices and set massive speakers through out the entire ceiling. Finally, as he stood in the main office doorway, he envisioned a small panic room behind the main office, hidden by a bookcase.</p><p>Spike walked fully into the office and felt magic wash over his brain. He guessed it was the club's operations magically starting up. He pursed his lips as he walked further into the office. There was a large desk dominating the room, with a computer monitor on it. Behind the desk was a large leather chair, and in front of the desk sat two smaller leather chairs. </p><p>Spike wandered around the desk and slid into the main seat. He watched as the computer screen booted up. A TV screen clicked on and Spike looked up at the wall to see the TV showing streams of video footage from cameras around the building. As he dragged his eyes back to the desk he noticed a bar cart on the side of the room. </p><p>Spike whistled. He couldn't believe how amazing his new club was. He wanted to show Xander. He couldn't wait to open it and start making a profit.</p><p>Spike blinked as a man walked into his office. He hadn't heard him or smelled him. Spike looked the humanoid demon up and down. He was clean cut and wearing a grey suit that was a bit too big for him.</p><p>"Wot are you?" Spike said.</p><p>"Your accountant, Master Spike." </p><p>Spike stared at the man. He had dark hair and glasses. He seemed unsure of himself. Spike stood up and moved over to the side bar. He inspected the liquor by smell and then poured himself a glass of scotch.</p><p>"You looking for work?" Spike said.</p><p>The man nodded, "Actually, yes. We're on magical retainer for the first week, but after that you'll have to hire us if you want to keep us on."</p><p>Spike squinted, "There's more of you?"</p><p>The man nodded, "Yes. Eleven. We're here to assist you in setting up the new business."</p><p>Spike squinted at the humanoid, watching him fidget. Then he sighed and drank his drink. Spike set the glass down on the bar cart. </p><p>"You got a name?"</p><p>The man cleared his throat, "Er, Evan, sir."</p><p>"Right," Spike said.</p><p>He poured himself another drink and then he poured a drink for Evan. He moved over to the other man, handed him the glass of scotch and then waved for him to sit down. They had a lot to talk about.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike stepped out of his brand new nightclub and lit up a cigarette. He looked up at the front of the building with a grin. He loved how loud the exterior was. Club ‘Thirst’ lit up the night. He stood across the street admiring the exterior. The large white bulbs illuminated the house structure artfully and the red neon sign was the perfect color of red.</p><p>Spike compared the exterior of his club to Jamie's. Sure, the big blue wall had been unassuming, not to mention exclusive, but Spike liked to be loud and he wanted to make money. He liked the look of his club better. Also, there was no password to enter. All demons, witches, slayers, etc. were welcome. No human's, though. Only those who were supernatural could see the club. </p><p>Of course, Spike also wanted Xander to be able to see the club, so he'd made sure there was a clause. The glamour spell was amended to allow human’s to see the club once said human had entered the club for the first time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to see it.</p><p>Spike flicked his smoke away and took one last long look at the club before returning home. He couldn’t wait to show Xander.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike woke his human up with a kiss ten minutes before his alarm. </p><p>The two of them rolled around together until the alarm went off and Xander cursed as he reached out to turn it off.</p><p>"Grr. I need more time then this, Spike."</p><p>Spike groaned and nuzzled his human's throat. He mouthed his mark and rocked his hips. Xander moaned and forced himself to push the vampire away.</p><p>"We'll finish this after I get home,” Xander said, “Promise."</p><p>"Mhmm," </p><p>Xander nearly fell out of the bed as the sheets wrapped around his ankle. He caught himself and straightened before he pulled on clean underwear and his work uniform. He watched the vampire out of the corner of his eye as he did up the front buttons and pinned his name tag to his shirt.</p><p>Xander leaned over the bed to kiss the vampire and the two grinned against each other. Spike moaned pitifully when Xander pulled away. </p><p>"I'll see you later," Xander said.</p><p>Spike watched the human leave the room before he curled back under the covers and closed his eyes. He listened to the mortal move about the house to make breakfast. Spike could hear him turning the pages of the newspaper while he ate.</p><p>Xander, finding himself caught up in a peculiarly violent news story, soon realized he was running late. He hopped into Spike’s car and drove like a bat out of hell to get to work on time. Xander walked behind the counter, pulled on his visor and punched in at exactly 6am.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. The Neck</h2></a>
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</p><p>Xander stood outside Anya's hospital room, listening to the voices behind the half closed door. He sucked in a deep breath before pushing the door open and stepping inside. His eyes scanned the room, taking in Anya laying in the hospital bed with Willow seated beside her.</p><p>Xander stopped walking as he caught sight of a small clear box on wheels next to the bed. It was filled with a baby and Xander’s eyes widened and flew over to Anya. He licked his lips and took another couple steps forward. "Uh, hey."</p><p>Both women turned to look at him and Xander stood where he was and stared at Anya. She looked so different than the last time he’d seen her during their fight in the basement.</p><p>Willow stood up and Xander turned to look at her. She gave him a smile as she wrung her hands.</p><p>"Hey Xan... I'll, um... go... I’ll give you guys a few minutes."</p><p>Xander nodded and gave the red head a forced smile as she grabbed her bag and shifted passed him towards the door. </p><p>Xander watched her leave and then he turned back to look at Anya. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he shuffled closer to the hospital bed and awkwardly stood over her.</p><p>“Hey,” he said.</p><p>Anya looked up at him. Her lips were white and pressed tightly together. Her eyes flit over his face in anxiety.</p><p>Xander licked his lips. He didn’t know what to say.</p><p>"So... how are you?" he asked.</p><p>Anya frowned deeply as she stared up at him. She glanced towards the baby in the clear plastic crib situated next to her.</p><p>Xander’s lip quivered as he watched Anya’s eye’s fill with tears.</p><p>Her face crumpled in on itself as she cried. Anya bit her lip and turned her head to the side as fat teardrops leaked from the corner of her eyes. She reached out to grabbed a fist of tissues to wipe away the wet tracks leaking down her cheeks.</p><p>Xander sat down in Willow's vacated chair. He reached out for Anya's free hand and held it within both of his own. He hung his head and stared at his elbows perched on his knees as Anya got control of her emotions.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Ahn," he whispered.</p><p>Anya squeezed his hand and Xander glanced up. They stared at one another as Anya sniffled. Her eye's filled anew and she blinked and covered her face again. She withdrew her hand from between his and reached for another handful of tissues. She cleaned her face and then froze as a noise erupted from the baby. </p><p>Anya stared at the baby in the box next to her bed and visibly swallowed.</p><p>Xander licked his lips and wanted to ask a million questions. Instead, he stared at the baby in silence. Willow hadn't explained the baby, he kinda wished she had. </p><p>Anya turned to look at him and saw the confused look on his face. </p><p>"That's Charles," Anya said, "I had a demon birth, so it only took 2 months... That’s why..."</p><p>Xander nodded and found himself relieved she hadn’t been cheating on him. He stood up from his chair and circled the bed to take a peak over the edge of the box. He scanned the baby and saw it was healthy and pink. It had ten fingers and ten toes. </p><p> "He look's human," Xander said.</p><p>He sat back down and retook Anya's hand. </p><p>"Do we know who the father is?"</p><p>Anya's tears spilled over her cheeks unimpeded as she nodded.</p><p>"I- I had a one night stand with Jamie...” Anya said, “T-the night you drown..."</p><p>Xander’s eyes widened and he gulped as he nodded. He tried to compartmentalize everything he was hearing.</p><p>"Jamie... Caledonia?" Xander said.</p><p>"Yeah," Anya said, “So... this is my karma. I'm so sorry, Xander. I didn't know all this would happen,"</p><p>Anya started crying harder and Xander pet her hand, "Hey, ssh, alright. You're okay. You're alive. Everything will be okay."</p><p>Anya shook her head and cried.</p><p>"It’s not though... I’m not okay. I just woke up from being in a coma for three months. Both my legs are broken and I have a friggen baby. What the hell am I going to do, Xander?"</p><p>Xander sighed, he didn't have any answers. Deep down he knew that he still loved Anya. Whatever had happened between them, he still wanted to take care of her. "Look, Ahn... Everything will work out. It'll be okay. I promise."</p><p>Xander squeezed her hand and Anya stared at him until she sighed and returned the squeeze. She nodded and withdrew her hand to blow her nose.</p><p>"You're broken, but you'll heal,” Xander said, “And the gang will keep you safe. We’ll all keep the baby safe. It'll be okay. I promise."</p><p>Anya started to cried harder as he spoke and Xander wondered what he said.</p><p>"What?" he said, "What is it?"</p><p>Anya shook her head, "I'm- I’m sorry. I... I... You were just drinking so much... and I was upset and... I didn't even know how it happened. I don't know why I did what I did. I don't know why I let it happen. I'm so sorry, Xander. I'm sorry."</p><p>Xander moved to sit on the edge of the bed and he pulled Anya into his arms. She crumpled against him as she sobbed. Xander hugged her close and bit his lip as his own eyes misted over. He swallowed thickly as he stared at the wall.</p><p>After a few minutes, Xander pet her hair and pulled back, "Hey, everything's all in the past now. We're here now and we're both alive. We'll get you fixed up and we'll go from there. Alright?"</p><p>Anya looked up at Xander, about to ask if they could ever get back together, but she didn't open her mouth. Instead she nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat and forced a weak smile.</p><p>Xander untangled himself from her embrace but kept hold of one hand. "Rest up, okay? I'll go down to the cafeteria and find you some grub. I’ll be right back."</p><p>Anya nodded and leaned back against the pillows. Xander smiled at her and then let go of her hand. He left the hospital room, turned the corner and walked down the hall before he started crying. He sequestered himself inside the nearest restroom and let himself cry in a stall. Afterwards he splashed his face with water and stared at his reflection in the mirror. As he dried his face, Xander thought about how fast things could change on a Hellmouth in 3 months.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Avery showed up at the Stelle house and Spike let him in. They went down to the basement and Spike packed up a few bags of Stelle for the vampire. They chatted for a while and both paused and cocked their heads to the side as the front door opened. </p><p>"Honey, I'm home!" Xander said in a sing song. </p><p>Avery smirked at the ceiling and Spike snorted.</p><p>The two vampire’s listened to the mortal stomp toward the kitchen above them.</p><p>Spike shook his head. "Right, that's everything then?"</p><p>Avery nodded and turned to leave, “Oh, wait, you still have my necklace,”</p><p>Spike paused and reached up to finger the necklace he wore. He took it off and passed it to Avery.</p><p>"Was thinking bout something earlier, actually.” Spike said, “I know ya don't like the Stelle. Was wondering if you'd rather do other work for me."</p><p>Avery turned fully towards him, "Such as?"</p><p>"Not sure yet. I'm opening up a nightclub."</p><p>Avery stared at Spike and his mouth widened into a grin.</p><p>"So it’s true?" he said.</p><p>Spike grinned in return, "Yeah. Don't tell no one. Already got enemies over it."</p><p>Avery shook his head, "Nah, I'm alright. Life's been pretty cushy since we started working together."</p><p>"Too right," Spike said.</p><p>He smirked as he pat Avery on the shoulder and gestured to the staircase, "I'll be in touch,"</p><p>He followed Avery up to the main floor and watched as the other vampire let himself out. Spike locked the door behind him, and then took a second to discern where his human was. He turned and took the stairs three at a time. He entered their bedroom to see Xander sitting up against the headboard. He was watching the telly. </p><p>Xander looked up at Spike with wide brown eyes as he put the second half of a cookie into his mouth.</p><p>Spike ran and jumped onto the bed.</p><p>Xander squealed and lifted his hand to try to save his glass of milk. The white liquid sloshed out of the cup, flew up into the air, and landed all over the floor. The clear plastic glass was empty.</p><p>The vampire chuckled while Xander faux glared at him and held his wet hand out over the side of the bed. Spike grinned as he watched Xander drop the plastic cup onto the floor.</p><p>The human sprung towards him and attacked. Spike laughed out in giddy happiness as they started to wrestle.</p><p>Xander knew he couldn't take Spike down physically, but he also had a secret weapon. He knew that the vampire was ticklish. Thankfully, Xander didn’t have the same problem himself. He gave a war cry as he  jumped on top of Spike and mounted him. He dug his finger tips into the vampire’s armpits and attacked.</p><p>Spike wasn’t incapacitated for long and soon the two were wrestling around on the bed. Spike withheld his strength to prolong the fun. It wasn’t until the mortal was sitting on his chest, nearly trapping both his arms, that Spike used his vampiric strength to weasel free and grab the mortal around the waist. He stood up and suplexed the human back onto the bed. </p><p>When Spike turned around to attack again, Xander held up his hands in surrender. Laughing and gasping for air, he called for a truce. </p><p>Spike squinted, but relented. He chuckled as he looked around and took in the destroyed bed. They both laughed and sighed as they relaxed side by side on the messy mattress.</p><p>Xander bit his lip as he stared up at the ceiling and a vision of Anya broken and scared laying on her hospital bed flashed before his eyes. He turned to Spike with a frown. </p><p>The vampire looked at him curious, "Wot?"</p><p>“I need to talk to you about something... I went to visit Anya today.”</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>As Spike exited Thirst, Avery joined him at his left side and the two walked without speaking. They were on a mission. They walked across town with purpose and soon they entered the hospital to appear in front of Anya as she held her infant. </p><p>The mortal looked up from cooing to her small child and gasped.</p><p>"Oh my god,” she said, “Please don't! Spike, please!" </p><p>Spike looked at her curiously as she clutched her baby to her chest and stared at him frightfully.</p><p>"What do ya think I'm gonna do?" he said.</p><p>Anya shook as she clutched her baby, "I-I don't know... but Willow said you got your chip out. Please don’t hurt him. He’s new. He hasn’t even done anything yet!"</p><p>Spike took a step forward and Avery did as well. Spike looked at the other vampire and nodded to the hall. Avery disappeared and Spike stepped up to the hospital bed and stared down at the frightened girl.</p><p>"Not here to kill you," he said, "No one's told you, then?"</p><p>Still fearful, Anya looked up at him, "Told me what?"</p><p>Spike pursed his lips as the two stared one another in the eye.</p><p>"About Xander and I..." he said, “being together.”</p><p>Anya's eye's widened as she stared at the vampire. She glanced down at her bedding and blinked in shock.</p><p>"Not saying this to be cruel," Spike continued, "Think it’s best you know why I'm helping you out, is all."</p><p>Anya glanced back up into his eyes.</p><p>"Xander wants to know you're safe and well taken care of,” Spike said, “I can arrange that." </p><p>Anya licked her dry lips, "How?"</p><p>Spike turned around and spied Avery. The tall blond vampire entered the room and stood next to Spike. He took his hands out of his jean jacket pockets and glanced at Anya.</p><p>"This is Avery," Spike said, "I'm paying him to take care of you. Hand and foot. He'll do everything. Take care of the babies nappies even. In exchange, you'll feed him."</p><p>"What? No!" Anya said.</p><p>"Not from the tap, Luv," Spike said, "Willow will come and draw a blood bag a week. Avery drinking your blood is only a precaution to keep you safe. He'll be able to sense you better if you get lost, for instance. Also, I've arranged a place for the three of you to live."</p><p>Anya stared at Spike shocked, "Wha- why?"</p><p>Spike clenched his teeth and Anya watched the shadows move across his cheekbones.</p><p>"Already said, din I?"</p><p>Anya swallowed and nodded.</p><p>"I got a new nightclub,” Spike said, “I've converted the back end into a suite for you and Avery. He’ll take you there when you're ready."</p><p>Anya blinked as she stared at Spike, "Does Xander know about this?"</p><p>"I'll tell him." Spike said, "He'll wanna visit, yeah?"</p><p>Anya nodded and Spike nodded back. </p><p>"Right, you need anything, Avery has a phone and a number to call. Otherwise I'll come check up on you tomorrow."</p><p>Anya nodded, speechless. She didn’t know what she was going to do once she was discharged from the hospital, but it appeared the vampire had everything covered.</p><p>Spike nodded to Avery as he left the room.</p><p>Avery gave Anya an awkward smile and Anya returned one of her own. </p><p>Anya took in the vampire’s fair features and swallowed her fear. She knew she had no other options. She took a deep breath, lifted her arm and held out her hand in good faith.</p><p>"Hi... I'm Anyaka," she said.</p><p>The vampire stepped forwards and gently took her hand. He leaned down to kiss the back of it and then looked into her eyes. </p><p>"Avery, madam. Nice to meet you."</p><p>Anya smiled slightly as she took her hand back.</p><p>"Well, er, since Spike said there’s a place for me to say. Can we go there? I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to.”</p><p>Avery nodded, “I’ll talk to the nurse."</p><p>Anya watched Avery leave the room and then she looked down at the cherubic face of her child. She took a deep breath and hoped that Xander was right. She hoped everything would work out in the end.</p><p>Avery reentered the room pushing a wheelchair. He left it in the middle of the room as he started to pack up Anya’s meagre things and stuff them in a garment bag. He dangled it on the chair’s handle and then started filling a second bag with the baby's things. He hung the bag on the other wheelchair handle and then made sure the wheels were locked. </p><p>He looked at Anya.</p><p>"Ready?"</p><p>Anya stared at Avery and realized she would have to trust him to hold her child. </p><p>Taking a deep breath, she nodded, and looked up into Avery's grey eyes as she lifted the baby. </p><p>Avery gingerly accepted the bundled boy and looked down into the little face as Anya shifted herself from the bed to the wheelchair.</p><p>“What’s his name?” he said.</p><p>Anya heaved herself from the bed to the chair and gasped for breath as she settled herself in the wheelchair.</p><p>“Charles,” </p><p>Avery nodded and passed the baby back to Anya before he got behind the chair to push her out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Anya looked over Spike’s nightclub for the first time and whistled. At first she was unable to see anything, but Avery pushed her wheelchair back out onto the street and she’d seen the club magically spring up in front of her vision. </p><p>When they reentered, Avery rolled her into the main portion of the club. Anya looked around flabbergasted. </p><p>The two of them crossed the dance floor and moved towards a back hallway. Anya looked down to check on Charles while Avery pushed her down a hallway towards an open door.</p><p>Spike had briefed Avery earlier, showing him the suite they’d be staying in, so he pushed Anya and Charles inside and closed the door behind him. He locked the door and then took a quick look around the apartment. </p><p>Anya sat in her wheelchair in the center of the furnished living room, looking around.</p><p>She watched Avery return and once he was holding onto the wheelchair again the vampire started to maneuver her around and show her the suite.</p><p>The rooms were decorated in the same scheme as the club, but the furniture appeared more comfortable. Everything was well equipped, each room had a bed, a side table and a dresser, and Avery let Anya chose which room she wanted first.</p><p>The vampire weaved Anya in and out of the rooms until the two of them finally settled in the living room. Anya asked the vampire to help her out of the wheelchair and he helped her settle on the couch with little Charles snuggled up against her. </p><p>Avery sat down in a nearby chair and picked up a TV remote. He held it out to Anya and she looked at it for a moment before she shook her head. </p><p>Avery shrugged and turned on the TV. He flicked through channels until he found a music channel. He set the remote down and started to undo his boots.</p><p>Anya watched the vampire out of the corner of her eyes as she realized that Charles needed to be changed. She looked over at Avery and bit her lip.</p><p>“What do you need?” Avery said.</p><p>Anya gave him a small smile.  “Um...”</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>"So, where we going?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike grinned, "It’s a secret, innit?"</p><p>Xander grinned at the vampire and then squeezed his hand, "That doesn't stop my curiosity."</p><p>Spike squeezed Xander's hand in return and pulled the human around to a stop. They stood facing one another.</p><p>Xander smiled, "What?"</p><p>"One day you'll make an excellent Childe."</p><p>Xander swallowed. He understood what Spike was saying. The vampire wasn't talking about Xander being a kid again, he was talking about turning him. Xander laughed, nervous. "Um,"</p><p>Spike's eyes squinted, "Later, of course... In yer 30's or 40's."</p><p>Xander gulped, "What- what about what I want? I don't wanna be a vampire. You know this."</p><p>Spike stared into his eyes, "Won't be a question, pet. You'll want it before too long. Can already feel it when I drink from you, yeah? Gonna beg for it later."</p><p>"Is that a thing?" Xander said, "Like an addiction?" </p><p>"It's a form of reproduction. Tends to happen when a vampire drinks from the same human over and over."</p><p>Xander swallowed, "Alright, let me digest that... What’ll happen then? Would you put a soul in me?"</p><p>Spike snorted, "Gods no!"</p><p>Xander stared at Spike seriously, "I’m not okay with killing people, Spike."</p><p>“Know that,” Spike said, "Won't have to kill anyone, Luv."</p><p>“You did,” Xander said.  </p><p>He gulped and stared at Spike.</p><p>“Jesse did."</p><p>Spike sucked his lips into his mouth, “Bit different with you, yeah? You know all about vamps. See... Your pal didn’t right? He was turned by Darla. Had the same upbringing I did, yeah? Had no idea what a vampire was and just did what was expected of em from his Sire.”</p><p>“You’re pulling my leg,” Xander said, “You can’t be serious.”</p><p>“Wot?”</p><p>“You’re really trying to tell me that a vampire killing humans is a learned thing?”</p><p>“No,” Spike said, “I think it’s a human thing, pet. I think that people who live repressed lives lash out more once they’re turned. S’why peaches killed his family. S’why I killed mine. Vamps eventually settle though as they get older. S’why most transition their childer from blood thirsty fledglings to masters under the Sire’s guidance. All we kill on the Hellmouth are fledglings, most days... Sometimes a master shows up, but... who’s the last one you remember?”</p><p>Xander shrugged, “You?”</p><p>Spike tilted his head, “Not many masters clamoring to get near a slayer.”</p><p>“Never said you were the brightest,” Xander said.</p><p>Spike snorted.</p><p>“So,” Xander said, “What you’re saying is that when I’m turned I’ll just know better then to kill people?”</p><p>Spike nodded.</p><p>Xander smirked, “Okay. Foraging ahead... How would I eat? I can’t see you baby-birding me blood for eternity?”</p><p>Spike snorted, “Too right... Pet, vampire’s can drink from humans without killing em. What do you think I’ve been doing?” </p><p>Xander stared, “You’ve been drinking from people?”</p><p>Spike stared back, “I’m a vampire.”</p><p>Xander glanced down, not sure why he was surprised. He licked his lips and realized he was jealous. He glanced back up as Spike stepped closer to him.</p><p>“Not like I really need to do I?” Spike said, “Have my very own blood bag right here.”</p><p>Xander closed his eyes and accepted the kiss as Spike moved closer. The two kissed until Xander pulled away flushed. He grinned as he locked eyes with Spike, “I can’t imagine you as my Sire.”</p><p>Spike gave him a salacious grin, “I can.”</p><p>The vampire pulled on the mortal’s hand and the two continued walking.</p><p>"So, where we headed?" Xander said.</p><p>"Nice try, luv." </p><p>Xander grinned.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>“This is your surprise?” Xander said.</p><p>The human glanced at the vampire as if he was on crack and then he turned back to the large metal warehouse. </p><p>Spike looked at the mortal excitedly, “Yep, come on, let’s head in.”</p><p>Xander looked at Spike and shook his head. "Heh, uh, there’s no door, Spike. Where we going?”</p><p>Spike smiled as he grabbed Xander by the hand and walked through the doorway that he could plainly see. </p><p>Xander watched as Spike pulling him towards a large metal wall with no sign of a doorway and he laughed out loud, “You’re a lunatic!”</p><p>Xander stopped laughing as he watched Spike disappear. His mouth dropped open as he watched his own arm dragged through the metal wall. Xander flailed and nearly fell as he looked around and found himself in a dim hallway. He could see out the entrance way and he turned to look for Spike, “What the-”</p><p>The vampire exited the doorway again and crooked his finger, "Come here,"</p><p>Xander followed Spike back outside and his eyes drew upwards to the lights. </p><p>"Woah!" Xander said.</p><p>The human stepped back to look up at the exterior of the club in amazement. </p><p>He grinned at the vampire, "Holy crap, Spike!"</p><p>Spike smiled as he stared at Xander. He grabbed the mortal's hand and tugged, "Come on, then."</p><p>Xander followed with wide eyes as he was drawn into the nightclub. There was no one inside and he looked around imagining patrons sitting at tables in the future. </p><p>He looked at Spike shocked, “I can’t believe the grandfather spell you were talking about worked. I was doubtful that was even a thing.”</p><p>Spike grinned, “Worked dinnit?”</p><p>Xander grinned as he looked around, “I don’t know what blows me away more. The fact that the grandfather spell worked, or that your plan didn’t fall through.”</p><p>Spike snorted and smacked him, “Prat,”</p><p>Xander laughed and gripped Spike’s leather lapels, “Kidding aside, this place is amazing!”</p><p>Spike kissed the mortal and grabbed his hand, “Come, let’s take a look around,”</p><p>He gave Xander a tour of the main portion of the club, then led him into the back. They travelled down a hallway and ended up standing before a black door.</p><p>"Right, so, here's my surprise for you." </p><p>Spike knocked on the door.</p><p>“I thought I was already surprised?” Xander said</p><p>The mortal stood, confused, as he watched the door open. Avery stood before him. The blond vampire moved to the side and Spike entered and looked back. </p><p>Xander took a tentative step inside and then saw Anya. He blinked, shocked. She was laying down on a sofa with the baby.</p><p>Xander glanced at Spike and then Avery before he approached Anya. He saw her two casts laid out on the couch and he gulped.</p><p>"Hey," he said as he approached.</p><p>Anya looked up at him and smiled, "Hey,"</p><p>Xander looked down at the little baby cooing up at Anya as it lay on its back. He couldn't help but move closer to the two of them to look at the baby.</p><p>"He sure is cute," he said.</p><p>Anya smiled up at him gratefully, "What are you doing here? Not that I mind." </p><p>Xander shrugged, "I'm just visiting. I'm happy to see you're doing okay."</p><p>Anya glanced at the two vampires chatting across the room. "Yeah, it seems I'm lucky that my ex is dating a master vampire."</p><p>Xander froze. He didn't know Anya knew about him and Spike. He swallowed and didn't know what to say.</p><p>"Avery's nice, too," Anya continued, "Chip's grown on him."</p><p>Xander blinked, "Chip?"</p><p>Anya smiled.</p><p>"Oh... my endearing little name for Charles."</p><p>"A nickname?" </p><p>"Yeah, that's it, a nickname."</p><p>"Cute," Xander said.</p><p>Anya yawned and it seemed like the perfect segue for Xander to leave.</p><p>"I'll let you rest," he said, "but let me know if you need anything, alright?"</p><p>Anya stared at Xander and nodded, "I will,"</p><p>Xander smiled and turned to leave. He met up with Spike and Avery let them out. Xander turned to Spike once they were outside the door and he glomped onto the vampire and held him tight. Spike held the mortal close as he breathed in the smell of him. </p><p>"Thank you," Xander said.</p><p>Spike nodded, "Anything for you, pet."</p><p>Xander pulled back and stared into Spike's blue eyes. The two smiled at one another and then Xander leaned in and kissed his vampire. When the two pulled away Spike grinned, "Come on, lemme show you the office."</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Buffy showed up to the Crawford street mansion and was surprised to hear only her own heels click in the somber silence. She walked the house looking for anyone at all, wondering where everyone was, when she stopped at the sight of Angel. </p><p>The vampire stood doing Tai Chi in his muscle shirt and slacks. Buffy's mind instantly returned to times of old when she used to do Tai Chi with him. A time when the two of them were dating.</p><p>Buffy stepped out of her shoes and Angel glanced over at her. He didn't break form as he watched her approach. </p><p>Buffy moved closer to Angel and stopped across from him. The two stared at one another and Buffy shifted into the same position as him. Angel’s lips quirked and Buffy returned the small smile as she acted as his mirror and followed along as he glided into another position. </p><p>After several poses Angel had to stop. He turned away from Buffy's intense stare and rubbed his face. </p><p>"I can't do this, Buffy."</p><p>Buffy stood with her arms behind her back, one hand clasped around her other wrist, "You can't do what?"</p><p>Angel turned to Buffy, "I can't pretend that we're friends when I'm still in love with you."</p><p>Buffy's eyes sparkled and she found herself rocking onto her tip toes. She pressed her fingernails into her wrist as she tried keep calm after Angel's declaration.</p><p>"Does this mean that you'll stay then? We can try to figure out the curse..."</p><p>Angel stared at Buffy.</p><p>"It's not just that,” He said, “I started a new life in LA,"</p><p>"And, you left your old life here, to do so," Buffy said.</p><p>Angel stepped forward. He moved close enough to kiss and then tilted Buffy's chin up with his hand.</p><p>"I want to stay," he said.</p><p>"Then stay," Buffy said, "You know I want you to."</p><p>The two stared into each others eyes and then Angel nodded. Buffy beamed up at him and released her death grip on her arm behind her back. She reached up to pull Angel down into a kiss.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike lay propped up in bed with Xander's warm body draped over him. They'd just had marvelous sex and Spike finally felt like everything was as it should be. He'd intended to take over the nightclub and he'd done so. He’d obtained Xander. Not only that, but he was now the new master of Sunnydale, and he even had the Slayer's blessing to be such. Life was sweet.</p><p>Spike started chuckling to himself and Xander tilted his head up to look at him.</p><p>"You're cookoo," he said.</p><p>Spike snorted, "You know, some might think. But I feel like a bloody genius."</p><p>Xander shifted to better see Spike. "How so?"</p><p>"Well, I had a plan, see. From the very beginning. I saw you and I ruling Sunnydale months ago and look at us now."</p><p>Xander snorted, "I don't rule Sunnydale. You, maybe."</p><p>Spike stared at the mortal, "Pet, you're mine, right?"</p><p>Xander nodded.</p><p>"So if I'm the figurehead of this empire, then that makes you the neck, yeah? Means you can move the head any which way you choose."</p><p>Xander swallowed, "You don't mean that."</p><p>Spike shrugged, "S'happened already, dinnit? I didn't kill the witch for Dru. Didn't want you mad at me. Haven't killed for fun since I've had the chip out. Won't say I haven't killed. Not gonna lie to ya. But you’re the reason why, pet. Don't wanna lose you."</p><p>Xander licked his lips and Spike surprised himself as he continued to speak.</p><p>"I went to another reality... months ago. Like the one you went to." Spike said.</p><p>"What?” Xander said, “Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>Spike shrugged, “Things were different then, pet. Wasn’t happy that it happened.”</p><p>Xander shifted to listen better, “Because we were together in the other world?”</p><p>"Yeah. Well... I spent the night with you."</p><p>Xander stared at the vampire, "Oh, you mean- Oh!"</p><p>Spike nodded.</p><p>"Changed my mind about you," Spike said, "Thought I wanted to stay there, even."</p><p>"What happened?" Xander said.</p><p>"Came back, didn't I? Felt like my heart broke."</p><p>Xander nodded, "So... This other Xander, is he like a sex god or something?"</p><p>Spike laughed, “What?”</p><p>“Well, I just mean if he was able to change your mind...”</p><p>Spike stared at Xander and shook his head. He grinned, "He's got nothing on you, luv."</p><p>Spike lifted Xander for a kiss and then relaxed, "So, that was all a dream that just broke my heart. I’d stumbled upon this amazingly random encounter, and afterwards that was all there was of it. I came home, fought with you, got hexed by Caledonia, and spent weeks wanting to die...”</p><p>Spike paused and Xander waited for him to continue. </p><p>“Then, once I figured out Caledonia was the culprit, I made it a plan to take everything from him." Spike said.</p><p>Xander's confused, "What's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>"I found out he owned the club and I lured you and the Slayer to it."</p><p>"No you didn't, Buffy and I followed a robed demon with a baby," Xander said.</p><p>"Or so you thought," Spike said.</p><p>Xander stared at Spike, "You lured us there?"</p><p>"Wanted it closed up, didn't I? Easiest way to take down demons is to make the slayer aware of 'em."</p><p>"Except I got in and she didn't." Xander said.</p><p>"Yeah, well, you're my white knight. How could you ever let a baby go to it's death? Served me right."</p><p>"So it was you in the robe?" Xander said, "There was no baby?" </p><p>Spike nodded.</p><p>Xander shook his head as he laughed, “Oh jeez, Spike. I didn't fall in love with you, you fucking tripped me!"</p><p>Spike shrugged, "Got you right where I wanted then, din I?"</p><p>Xander stared at Spike and shook his head ruefully at him as he took a quick stock of his new life. He wasn't surprised by the subterfuge. He relented his anger with a pouted smile.</p><p>“Oi. How else does the villain get the hero to fall in love with him?” Spike said.</p><p>The vampire moved in for a kiss and Xander kissed him before pulling away, "So, I'm the neck, right?"</p><p>Spike blinked, feeling sedated, "Hmm?"</p><p>"You're the figurehead. The master of Sunnydale. The head."</p><p>Spike stared at his human and smiled softly, "Yes, Pet. And you're the neck. Head can only turn whichever way the neck lets it."</p><p>Xander sighed in happiness as his lover sniffed the alcove of his throat and started kissing along his jaw. He closed his eyes and puckered his lips. Just as he knew there would be, cool lips pressed against his own as Spike’s arm snaked around his waist to draw him closer.</p><p>"I love you," Xander sighed as he stuffed his face into Spike's neck.</p><p>"Love you too, pet." Spike said.</p><p>As long as Spike listened to Xander’s consciousness, the vampire knew he would be the absolute ruler of Sunnydale's nightlife and demonic underground.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Gunn looked up from his spot on the couch and set the magazine down in his lap as Angel walked in.</p><p>"Hey, just the person I wanted to see," Angel said.</p><p>"Oh yeah?" Gunn said, "What's up?"</p><p>"I think I'm gonna stay here... In Sunnydale."</p><p>Gunn's lips quirked, "Oh yeah?"</p><p>Angel nodded in affirmation, more for himself then for Gunn.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm staying. So I was wondering if I could pay you to help me move."</p><p>Gunn snorted and grinned, "No need, big man, Cordy already got you set up."</p><p>Angel blinked, "What?"</p><p>"S'why I'm even here. You don't think I'd rather this hick town over LA do ya?"</p><p>Angel stared.</p><p>Gunn continued, "Cordy had a vision in Mexico. Her and Wes called me up and paid me to move your shit down here. It's all at your old apartment."</p><p>Angel blinked, "What?"</p><p>"Cordy said you'd eventually decide to stay here... I was really starting to wondering how long it would take. We even placed bets."</p><p>Angel snorted, "Who won?"</p><p>Gunn sniffed, "Wes... Damnit, now I have to send him my leather jacket."</p><p>Angel smiled, "I'll hook you up with a leather guy in LA."</p><p>Gunn smirked, "Well, I guess I'll head back soon... Just been waiting around for you to have your epiphany. Cordy said I couldn't tell you. It had to be organic."</p><p>Angel moved to sit down next to Gunn on the couch, "Thanks man,"</p><p>Gunn grinned and lifted his magazine to circumvent any sappy feelings Angel might produce.</p><p>"Not a problem."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Winning Streak</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Xander sat in Spike’s car waiting for the Stelle pick up. He drummed his hands on the steering wheel as he looked out across the dark ocean. He glanced around himself, saw nothing outside of the car, and then looked into his mirrors. He saw he was alone in the parking lot. </p><p>He left the car running, so he could listen to music while he waited; but turned off the lights so as to not attract attention since the buyer was late.</p><p>Xander reached over and ejected the CD from the player. He opened the glove box to grab a different CD and trade them up. He bobbed his head as the new music filled the car and then he sat back in his seat and glanced up at the ocean through the windshield. He grew bored and pulled open the arm rest to look inside the console.</p><p>The driver door swung open and Xander looked up in shock. </p><p>“Hey!” he yelled.</p><p>He was yanked out of the car and thrown to the ground. Xander climbed to his feet, prepared to fight, when he saw a figure with amber eyes take a swing at him. He fell back as he was punched in the face. He grabbed his eye and backed away from the car as another attacker held out a knife and approached. </p><p>Xander backed up into another assailant and found himself thrown ass over tea kettle further away from the vehicle.<br/> <br/>Rolling with the fall, Xander got up and took off running. He knew he was no match for the three vampires. He ran until he knew he wasn’t being followed anymore and then he ducked into a convenience store. </p><p>Xander poked his sore face as he asked for a washroom key at the till. The clerk looked at him odd, but handed the key attached to a child’s shoe over to him.</p><p>Xander stared at the shoe curiously as he walked to the back of the store and secluded himself in the men’s room. He peed and pulled out his cell phone to call Giles. He asked the old man to come pick him up and apologized about calling so late when he heard the old man’s tone.</p><p>Xander hung up, expecting Giles in arrive within an hour. He bought himself a Slurpee to press against his eye and spent his time chatting with the store clerk. The two ended up hanging out for the hour, while Xander waited. The clerk turned out to be a big fan of anime and luckily Xander knew a bit about it since Jesse made him watch Akira back in the day. Xander was able to keep up conversation with the store clerk until he saw Giles arrive.</p><p>Xander said goodbye to his new friend and approached Giles as the ex-watcher filled his car up with gas.</p><p>“Hey, G-man. Thanks for helping me out... again.”</p><p>Giles turned to look at Xander with a dour look. </p><p>Xander bit his lip, “I’ll just get in the car.”</p><p>Xander waited for Giles to finish pumping gas and then the older man climbed inside the car. They started driving and were heading home in awkward silence.</p><p>Knowing it was an hour drive, Xander tried to lessen the awkwardness.</p><p>“Thanks, Giles. Really. The bus station was closed and I didn’t know who else to call.”</p><p>Xander glanced at the ex-watcher, but Giles continued to stare straight ahead.</p><p>After an indeterminable amount of time Giles spoke without looking at him.</p><p>“You know, Xander,” he said, “If being in a relationship with Spike consists of you perpetually being stranded out of town, maybe you should rethink your life choices.”</p><p>“What?” Xander said, “This isn’t even Spike’s fault,”</p><p>“Oh no?” Giles said.</p><p>The old man took his eyes off the road to stare at Xander.</p><p>Xander stared at Giles and then when the old man didn’t look away, Xander looked back up at the road hoping Giles would pay attention to where he was driving.</p><p>“I-” Xander couldn’t argue that this situation did in fact pertain to Spike. But the other time it hadn’t. “You helped me before, because I thought my dad was dying, Giles. It had nothing to do with Spike.”</p><p>Xander crossed his arms over his chest and stared out the side window. He was furious. Furious because he felt the need to defend his actions to Giles. And furious that the old man had no idea what was going on with his life yet still judged him. He had no right to tell him what he should and shouldn’t do.</p><p>The rest of the ride back to Sunnydale was silent. Giles pulled up in front of Xander’s parent’s house and parked the car.</p><p>Xander, slightly calmer after thinking silently for half an hour, knew he hadn’t explained the situation well to Giles. He was about to try again to explain about being robbed, but then he figured in the end that it really didn’t matter. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He withdrew a fifty dollar bill and quickly stuffed it in Giles hand. </p><p>“Thanks again,” he said.</p><p>He got out of the car and shut the door before Giles could respond. </p><p>Xander started to walk up the front walk and glanced back as he heard Giles drive off. He stopped walking and stared up at the front door of his childhood home. He could see the lights on, behind the sheers, and saw his parents were home. He filled with relief to finally being back in his own town. He turned around and started walking towards the Stelle house. </p><p>He thought he heard a noise across the road from him and he picked up his pace and started to jog across town.<br/> <br/>Xander burst in the front door of the Stelle house and started up the stairs.</p><p>“Spike!” he yelled. </p><p>He rushed up the stairs, glanced in their bedroom, and then turned back around when he didn’t see the vampire. Xander made it half way back down the stairs when suddenly Spike was in front of him, shirtless and looking concerned. He stood at the bottom of the stairs.</p><p>“Wot?” Spike said, “You alright?”</p><p>He moved up a few steps, and shifted closer to Xander. He lifted his hand to his face and inspected his rapidly bruising eye.</p><p>“I was robbed,” Xander said, “Shit. I fucked up. Spike. I-”</p><p>Spike covered his babbling lips with a finger as he shook his head. He pulled Xander down the stairs and into the kitchen. The vampire lifted Xander, as if he was a child, and sat him on the counter. Then he crossed to the refrigerator to retrieved a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer. </p><p>He pressed them against Xander’s eye socket and then lifted the mortal’s hand into position to hold the cold vegetables in place. </p><p>When Xander did so, Spike stepped back.</p><p>“Start at the beginning,” he said.</p><p>The vampire crossed his arms over his chest, staring.</p><p>Xander gulped.</p><p>“I was sitting in your car at the drop off spot, just listening to music, since the buyer was late,” Xander said, “Then, I got yanked out of the car and thrown to the ground. I tried to fight back but in the commotion I saw at least three vampires and, well, I ran away.”</p><p>As Spike stared at Xander, he saw an aura of nervousness around the mortal. Xander was tense and fidgeting. Spike wondered what was going on with him. Why was Xander nervous around him? Xander was never afraid of him.</p><p>Xander lowered the frozen vegetables and looked at Spike with both eyes. His face was a mask of contrition, “I’m sorry. I fucked up. I lost your car and the Stelle.”</p><p>Spike reached out and pushed the frozen bag back against the mortal’s face.</p><p>“S’fine, pet. S’just a car and we’ve got more Stelle,” Spike said, “Now, tell me what’s got you acting so timid.”</p><p>Xander stared at Spike, “Honestly? I feel like I let you down.”</p><p>The two of them stared at one another.</p><p>“And you think I’m gonna do what? Beat on you?” Spike said, “You’re the only one I allow to see behind the curtain, pet. The only one who sees the real me. I don’t want you afraid of me.” </p><p>“I’m not afraid of you,” Xander said, “You saved my life before we were boinking remember?”</p><p>Spike snorted, “Boinking?”</p><p>Xander smiled, “I’m not afraid of you. I just-”</p><p>Xander’s smile disappeared and he sighed and looked down at his dirty knees.</p><p>Spike shifted his body forward, moving his hips between the mortal’s thighs. He shifted closer and nuzzled his face against the mortal’s. </p><p>“Just happy to have you home, pet,” he whispered.</p><p>Spike peeled the frozen vegetables from Xander's face and inspected his bruised eye.</p><p>“Maybe you should stop driving,” Spike said, “I can get someone else.”</p><p>Xander winced as Spike pressed the vegetables back against his face.</p><p>“I like doing it,” Xander said.</p><p>“It’s not safe, pet.”</p><p>“It was my fault, Spike,” Xander said, “I wasn’t paying attention. If I was more on the ball, maybe I could have-”</p><p>Spike pressed his fingers to the human’s lips to stem his speech, “Xan, pet... It’s not safe because someone was tracking the car. Not because you weren't vigilant enough.”</p><p>“I don’t want to stop doing the drops, Spike.” Xander said.</p><p>“There’s someone after me, pet. It isn’t safe for you anymore.”</p><p>“I can do it, though. I like doing it. I like helping.” Xander said.</p><p>Spike stared at the mortal and sucked his teeth.</p><p>“How’s about you quit your day job, then?” Spike said.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You could do day trips, instead,” Spike said, “That would ease my mind.”</p><p>Xander bit his lip. He wasn’t in need of money anymore. He hadn’t been in months. He liked the idea of quitting the double meat palace. He smiled.</p><p>“I want to agree,” Xander said, “but let me sleep on it.”</p><p>Spike nodded and looked down with a smile as the human’s stomach rumbled. He looked back up at Xander, “Need to feed you, Luv.”</p><p>Xander licked his lips, “So I can feed you?”</p><p>The vampire’s eyes flashed amber and then returned to sky blue. </p><p>Xander felt excitement pool in his belly as he took in the carnal stare of the vampire. He licked his lips as Spike leaned in to kiss him. He lowered the cold bag of frozen vegetables as they kissed and then he opened his eyes to stare at Spike when the vampire pulled away. </p><p>“Happy you’re home safe, pet.” Spike said.</p><p>The vampire moved away from the mortal and walked to the fridge.</p><p>Xander smiled as he pressed the vegetables back against his eye. He weaseled himself off the counter as his stomach grumbled again. He was starving.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Faith walked along the dark streets jamming to a song in her head. She hummed along as she stalked the Sunnydale streets. She was out hunting, since she was bored, but she hadn’t seen anything yet. It was starting to spit rain and she debated heading back to the mansion, but figured that a little rain never hurt anyone.</p><p>As she looked around, the rain started coming down harder and Faith noticed her mood growing depressed. She felt her demons crawling to the surface and she tried to take control of her mind to do mental alchemy.</p><p>She knew she was feeling depressed because she was lonely. Ever since she’d come back to Sunnydale, she’d felt like a background thought in everyone's minds. Buffy and Angel were once again in the middle of their dramatics, the Scooby’s were all doing their own things, and the LA team - well, Gunn - was too cool and aloof to talk with. Faith just didn’t seem to fit in anywhere.</p><p>There was nothing wrong with feeling that way, she told herself.  She tried to change the direction of her thoughts. </p><p>Instead of focusing on self pity and worrying about not having a place where she belonged, she instead focused on how lucky she was to be out of jail. She was in the great outdoors. She was free. She was no longer behind bars. </p><p>After being locked in a cell, Faith was grateful to breath in the fresh night air and have control over herself once again. </p><p>She recalled her court proceedings. She’d been in a daze while her watcher’s council lawyer did his thing. She’d come out of her daze when she was told she was being release from prison. She heard that she was being released early on good behavior but she didn’t really understand that completely until her feet touched the pavement outside the jail.</p><p>Faith was grateful for her lawyer. From day one he’d coached her on how to handle her stay behind bars. She attributed her early release to him. She’d done exactly as he’d told her. She’d had no discipline issues. She’d attending the programs, been polite to the staff and the volunteers. She even tried to get along as well as she could with the other inmates. She did everything she could to be a model inmate for the county and even held a job within the jail during her time. </p><p>And so it happened, she’d been released early. She still couldn’t believe it. And while she was still a convict, and on probation for the next five years, Faith was officially free. She grinned. That was something to be happy about.</p><p>Faith spread her arms out and smiled up into the rain as it splattered down on her face. She looked back down and continued walking through town feeling lighter. There was no reason to rush back to the mansion. There was nothing waiting for her there. She liked it outside.</p><p>Suddenly her Slayer sense was tingling and Faith focused her attention on her surroundings. She could sense a vampire nearby but couldn’t see anything amiss. She kept her eyes pealed as she moved closer to a group of old buildings.</p><p>She patrolled the area, her senses on high alert. The rain drizzled around her, plastering her hair to her head. She withdrew her stake as she entered an open doorway. </p><p>Faith let her eyes adjust in the dark as she slowly scanned the abandoned building. After scouring the whole building, she stuffed her stake into her waistband and returned to the street. She couldn’t seem to find a vampire anywhere.</p><p>Faith kept walking the town. The adrenaline that filled her as she thought she was going to slay a vamp was slowly seeping from her. She grew colder as the rain poured more heavily against the pavement.</p><p>Faith pressed on. It was just rain. She would shower once she returned to the mansion to remove the chill.</p><p>She wandered the town and found herself looking up at the street sign for Harbor drive. Curious, Faith decided to check out the old farm house where Jamie tortured Buffy and Anya. She wondered if any vampires set up shop there.</p><p>She walked up the road and stopped before the gate leading up the driveway. She glanced around before hopping over it. </p><p>Faith walked through the property, gravel crunched under her boots as she scanned the two story farm house. There was a shed off to one side and a large swampy pond on the other. Faith stared at the pond and recalled Buffy telling everyone she’d drowned there. Faith moved towards the house.</p><p>She was surprised to find the front door unlocked. She entered the house and searched all the rooms. When she found herself in the basement, she shivered as she scanned the large cage taking up half the room. She remembered Buffy talking about the cage too.</p><p>Faith headed back downstairs and strode out the front door. She pulled the door closed behind her and paused as she caught sight of the shed from the porch. She took the stairs two at a time and then walked across the muddy grass to reach it. She pulled open the shed door to peer inside. </p><p>Faith bit her lip as she stared at the vampire curled up in a little ball of white lace in the corner of the shed.</p><p>“Drusilla?” Faith said.</p><p>The vampire looked up at the slayer and then looked down and hid her face.</p><p>Faith didn’t know what to do. She wanted to kill the vampire, naturally, yet something within her stopped the instinct. She knew that Angel left the vampire alive for a reason. Faith didn’t want to go back to the mansion and have to tell Angel that she’d killed his Childe. </p><p>She sighed as she entered the shed. Faith figured she’d bring the vampire back to the mansion with her. Then Angel could do whatever the hell he wanted with her.</p><p>Faith reached for Drusilla, and Drusilla looked up as the mortal grabbed her wrist.</p><p>“It’s you?” Drusilla whispered.</p><p>Faith blinked, “Er, yeah. Come on. Stand up.”</p><p>Faith pulled the waif of a vampire to her feet and Drusilla fell forwards against her. Faith gripped the vampire in her arms. She pulled a pale arm over her shoulder and wrapped her arm around the vampire’s back to hold her up. Faith dragged Drusilla out of the shed.</p><p>The two women slid and stumbled as they traversed the mud. The rain drenched them and Drusilla started to salivate. She was so hungry. All she could see was the slayer’s blood gushing around underneath her skin.</p><p>Drusilla was wounded and beyond famished. She needed blood. She felt the rain soak through her dress, and the warm arms wrapped around her waist. Drusilla’s let her head bob against the slayer’s shoulder as the two stumbled together.</p><p>The rain matted Drusilla’s black hair against her face and she lifted her hand to clear it away. She stared at the blistering burgundy brand on the back of her hand and opened her mouth to speak. She was about to say something to the slayer, but she couldn’t. </p><p>She realized she was living her vision. She was so hungry. </p><p>Drusilla focused on the sound of the of a human’s heart beating. She shifted into her vampire face and lurched forward. She coiled her limbs around the dark-haired Slayer and clutched her close as she slid her razor-sharp fangs into the pliant flesh of her taut neck. </p><p>Drusilla moaned in ecstasy as the blood splashed into her mouth. She drank in awe. The rich blood of the slayer caused euphoria. </p><p>Faith struggled to free herself from the parasitic vampire, but it was too late. She’d lost her blood too fast. She was weakening exponentially.</p><p>Drusilla pushed the dying slayer away and the body fell to the mud below. Drusilla stared through the pounding rain and her eyes flicked to the dying slayers hand. She watched it relax and open. Nothing came out. </p><p>A sly smirk curved Drusilla’s mouth before she bit into her own wrist and forced her blood down the dead Slayer’s throat.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Faith blinked open her eyes at sunset. She saw Drusilla sitting over her staring at her with black eyes. Faith lay still, listening to the ocean waves crashing in the distance. She blinked as she realized she could hear things that she couldn’t possibly see. She blinked up at Drusilla. </p><p>“You turned me.”</p><p>It wasn’t a question.</p><p>“Yes, dear,” Drusilla nodded, “I apologize for not turning you properly.”</p><p>“Properly?” Faith said.</p><p>Drusilla explained, “When a vampire takes a mortal as consort, the master prepares them for eternity. The human’s hair is cut to suite the Sire’s wishes. All unwanted body hair is removed. Nails are trimmed and filed. A Sire curates a human’s body to please them.”</p><p>Faith sat up and glanced down at her hands. Her nails were short like always.</p><p>“With you being a Slayer, I didn’t have the time to prepare you.” Drusilla said.</p><p>“Why’d you do it?” Faith asked. </p><p>She couldn’t help herself. She had to know. Why had Drusilla created an abomination?</p><p>“I followed the visions,” Drusilla said.</p><p>Faith was confused, but Drusilla continued to speak, “I killed the slayer before you, so that I could have you."</p><p>Faith suppressed a shiver. </p><p>“All prophecy comes from the powers that be,” Drusilla said, “All visions link... In the end, you were always destined to be mine.”</p><p>“I don’t believe in fate,” Faith said</p><p>She stared at the vampire and then struck. Faith lunged forward and bit into Drusilla’s neck. She tore out her throat as she drank her blood. She sucked and gorged and then shoved the vampire to the side as she glanced around the room. </p><p>She broke a small wooden table to fashion a stake and then stood over Drusilla poised with the stake over the vampire’s heart. Faith pressed the wood down into the chest. Ashes brushed against her lips as her Sire exploded.</p><p>“I make my own life,” Faith said.</p><p>Faith stood up and dropped the stake. She looked around and wondered what the hell she was going to do. She obviously didn’t loose her soul when she was turned. But she was also no longer human. </p><p>If she wasn’t a human, and she wasn’t a vampire. What the hell was she? </p><p>Faith turned to look at Drusilla’s ashes and felt a pang in her chest that she didn’t understand. She hadn’t even known Drusilla. She had no reason to regret her death. </p><p>Suddenly, Faith barfed up all the blood she’d just drank. It splashed onto her boots and across the floor.</p><p>She stared at the jagged circle of dark red blood in a daze. A tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily. Faith growled, surprising herself when she sounded like an angry dog. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. </p><p>She could feel the demon co-inhabiting her body. It raged within her as it mourn it’s Sire. She bit her lip as she opened her eyes and stared at the mess at her feet.</p><p>She was at odds with herself. Part of her was resolute that she’d done the right thing. The other half of her was repeating the phrase, “I just staked my Sire,” </p><p>She wondered if she’d done the right thing.</p><p>After a long while brooding, Faith decided that she had nowhere else to go. There was no other entity like her on the entire earth. If she didn’t commit suicide, she was going to be alone forever. She saw no other alternative. She had to kill herself. </p><p>Faith left the abandoned building, a plan forming in her mind. She was going to find Buffy. What better way to go out then to go down fighting.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander woke up and rolled over in bed. He grinned as the sleeping vampire pulled him close and nuzzled his face into any crook he could. Xander kissed him thrice and then disentangled himself from limbs and sheets and crept from the bedroom.</p><p>He went to the washroom and inspected his eye in the mirror. He recalled the conversation last night and he stood pensive in the washroom as he decided if he was going to officially quit his job.</p><p>He showered and dressed before heading into work a bit early. He cornered his boss and had an awkward conversation as Xander never quit a job before and didn’t know how to go about it. He’d only been fired and he knew how that played out. So he asked his boss about quitting etiquette and then did as his boss instructed and wrote down his two week notice on the back of a paper receipt. </p><p>Afterwards, his shift blew by as he goofed off with the other employees. He spent his day at work suffused with a happy disposition. He didn’t realize how much the job was dragging down his mood. He couldn’t believe he only had two more weeks of flipping burgers and coming home smelling like a french-fry. He couldn’t wait to get home and tell Spike.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Faith stood outside the Stevenson dorm’s and looked up at the multitude of lit up windows. Buffy’s in there, she thought. A spicy scent caught her off guard and she jumped and spun around as someone tapped her on her shoulder.</p><p>Faith stared, wide-eyed, at Buffy.</p><p>“Hey,” Buffy said, “What’s up?”</p><p>Faith licked her lips as she zeroed in on the smell. Buffy smelled delicious. </p><p>“Hey, B,” she said.</p><p>“I’m just heading in. You wanna come up?” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith nodded and the two of them wandered into the building.</p><p>“So, what brings you to the dorms?” Buffy said as the two of them took the stairs.</p><p>Faith shrugged, “Just looking to talk, I guess.”</p><p>Buffy blinked, surprised, and then stared at Faith as she pulled open the fire door and held it open for her.</p><p>“Well, I’m glad,” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith walked through the open door and they walked down the hallway together. Buffy opened her dorm room door and entered the room. Faith followed behind her and scanned the empty room.</p><p>“Where’s Willow?” Faith said.</p><p>The brunet walked across the room and sat down on the witches bed as she glanced at the crystals on the bedside table. </p><p>Buffy shrugged, “Not sure. Probably over at Giles.”</p><p>Buffy took off her book bag and coat and wrapped them around the back of her desk chair. She then sat down on her bed and stared at Faith across from her. The two of them stared at one another until Buffy licked her lips.</p><p>“So, what’s going on?” </p><p>Faith froze, “What do you mean?”</p><p>Buffy shrugged, “Just wondering what you wanted to talk about,”</p><p>Faith nodded, “Yeah, uh, you know... I’m not so sure this is such a great idea after all.”</p><p>Buffy stood up and held up her hand to stop any further protest.</p><p>“Look, I’m here for you, whatever it is. Let me help.”</p><p>Faith stared at Buffy and then she looked down at her hands and let out a self depreciating laugh as she thought about her fingernails never growing any longer then they were now.</p><p>“How about I was patrolling last night and got turned by Drusilla? Can you handle that?”</p><p>Buffy stared at Faith as she blinked in shock, “W-what?”</p><p>Faith took a deep breath, reminded herself that she no longer needed to breath at all, and began to speak.</p><p>“I woke up today and staked Drusilla... Then I came here to fight you.”</p><p>Buffy took a step back and sat back down on her bed as she stared at Faith.</p><p>“I thought there was something different about you,” Buffy said, “I- Do you have a soul?”</p><p>Faith shrugged, “I guess?”</p><p>Buffy nodded and bit her lip.</p><p>“We should tell Giles,” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith shook her head, “Nah, B. You just gotta stake me. Tell him later.”</p><p>“How can you say that?!” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith watched Buffy’s instantaneous righteousness and it amazed her. Still, it wasn’t enough to bring a smile to her face.</p><p>“Because I can’t stand what I am,” Faith said, “You, more than anyone, should understand.”</p><p>Buffy gulped and nodded.</p><p>“You’re living my greatest fear, actually... Though, you’re handling it better then I would."</p><p>Faith shrugged, “For now.”</p><p>Buffy stood up and moved to pulled on her coat, “Come on, we’ll go to the mansion and get the whole team on research.”</p><p>“What do we need to research? I’m an abomination, B. There’s nothing about this in the watchers diaries.”</p><p>Buffy stared at her, “Faith, seriously, after living on the Hellmouth for 5 years, I’ve come to learn that anything is possible and to always expect the unexpected. We’ll figure this out.”</p><p>Faith stared at Buffy and saw she looked resolute. Faith sighed, thinking she should have just fought Buffy and finished this the easy way.</p><p>“Look,” Buffy said, “We can always keep the staking you thing on the table, but lets not give up just yet. Not until we can at least say we tried.”</p><p>Faith stared at Buffy and sighed as she stood up, “Okay,”</p><p>Buffy and Faith called Giles and asked him to meet them at the mansion. Then the girls left the dorm and started to walk over. </p><p>As they encroach on Crawford street, Faith wondered how the others would react. </p><p>“Ya know, I’d really rather die fighting a slayer then a vampire,” Faith said.</p><p>Buffy stared at Faith as they walked, “I won’t let anyone hurt you”</p><p>Faith turned to look at the blond and Buffy looked her in the eye, “Even Angel.”</p><p>Faith nodded and the two moved up the street to enter the mansion.</p><p>Angel recognized what Faith was instantly. He stared at the turned vampire slayer, shocked. Angel could see Faith hadn't eaten since she’d been turned and he went and warmed up some pig’s blood. When he returned with it, he offered it to Faith and she accepted the cup, smelled it, and then set it down.</p><p>Angel watched her set the cup down and came to a decision. He returned to the kitchen to cut himself and create a cup of his own blood. When he returned, he handed it to Faith.</p><p>Faith accepted the cup, smelled it, and then stared at Angel curiously as she drank it.</p><p>Buffy watched the exchange and deduced what Angel had done. She nodded her head at the vamp, encouraging him to offer more blood, and Angel stepped closer to faith and offered his wrist.</p><p>Faith glanced at Buffy, saw her forced smile, and then without hesitation bit into Angel’s wrist.</p><p>Buffy waited to see Faith’s face change and she stared at her confused when she didn’t. Faith didn’t change her face like a vampire did, she simply had fangs. </p><p>Faith drank from Angel and hated herself for being so hungry. She didn’t want to siphon blood off of others. Faith pulled back from Angel’s wrist and wiped her mouth.</p><p>Angel left his wrist in close proximity. He hadn’t been thrilled to offer his own blood, but when Faith was sucking it out of him he’d felt a sense of vampiric family during the blood exchange and it surprised him. </p><p>He was about to ask who turned her, when Faith sat forward and puked up blood all over the couch and herself.</p><p>Faith stared at Buffy, her eyes glazed over,  “See? Nothing stays down...”</p><p>Faith stood up and nodded to herself as she looked down at her blood soaked clothes. She was beginning to accept that she was an abomination, of course she couldn't eat. </p><p>“I’m gonna go change,” she said.</p><p>Buffy and Angel watched her leave the living room in silence.</p><p>“I’ll help clean that up,” Buffy said.</p><p>Angel caught the slayer’s arm as she moved passed him.</p><p>“You’ll need to try your blood, Buffy.”</p><p>Buffy’s eyes widened and she stared at Angel, “You think?”</p><p>Angel nodded, “She has to be able to eat something. “</p><p>Buffy nodded and pulled her arm out of Angel’s grip. Instead of going to the kitchen, she moved towards Faith’s room. Buffy stood outside the doorway and tried to cultivate her courage.</p><p>Angel grabbed a cleaning bucket and rag from the kitchen and began cleaning the blood off the couch. After a moment of painting the blood around he sighed and threw the rag in the bucket. He lifted the couch, maneuvered it out into the garden and then began to hose it down. The blood poured out of the cushions in rivets as he tried to stem the water flow to create a sort of power washer.</p><p>Buffy knocked on the bedroom door and when it didn’t open she tried the handle. The door was unlocked and she let herself inside. Buffy glanced around the dim bedroom and saw that Faith was still a slob. There were clothes littered everywhere. </p><p>Buffy heard the shower turn off in the en-suite, and she watched as Faith entered the room wearing only a towel.</p><p>Faith stared at the slayer, curious why she was in her room, as she wandered around picking out an outfit. </p><p>Buffy cleared her throat, “Angel thinks you should try my blood.”</p><p>Faith looked at Buffy and then sat down to pull on a pair of pants. She wiggled them up over her hips, keeping herself covered with the towel. </p><p>Rather then talking, she turned away from Buffy, dropped the towel, and pulled on a bra. She spun around, grabbed a top and pulled it over her wet hair before finding a pair of socks. Faith sat down to pull on her socks and new shoes. When she was fully dressed she asked Buffy, “And what do you think about that?”</p><p>Buffy stared at Faith, “It’s worth a shot,”</p><p>Faith looked down at her clean attire and then pointed at the en-suite.</p><p>“Fine, but we’ll do it next to the tub in case I throw up again.”</p><p>Buffy nodded and stood up. </p><p>Faith could see the reticence pouring off the blond so she stomped into the bathroom and waited until Buffy came in behind her. She stared into the blond’s eyes as Buffy lifted her arm.</p><p>Closing her eyes, ashamed at herself, Faith bit into the soft flesh.</p><p>Faith felt like she was sitting in a rainbow as the blood moved over her tongue. She closed her eyes in bliss and moaned as she sucked back the blood.</p><p>Buffy watched, awed and alarmed. Faith appeared to be enjoying her blood a lot more then Angel’s.</p><p>Faith sucked at the wound, eyes closed in bliss. In that moment, she learned that abominations could only survive off of slayer blood.</p><p>Faith no longer had any desire for any blood but Buffy's. Angel’s had tasted okay, but it was nothing like this.</p><p>Buffy heard Angel call through the door that Giles arrived and she yanked her wrist from Faith’s mouth and grabbed a nearby rag to wrap around it. </p><p>Faith stared at Buffy, starving. She felt her control to resist the call of the blood slipping. Faith let go of trying to fight it. She lunged at Buffy and bit into the blond’s throat. </p><p>Buffy scrambled against bathroom wall as Faith sucked the blood out of her neck. She tried to fight her off but Faith held her down.</p><p>Buffy felt her hands and feet lose sensation as she was drained. </p><p>Faith moaned as she drank. She felt herself growing aroused and she dry humped against Buffy, who stilled in shock. </p><p>Faith froze, when Buffy stilled. </p><p>Her thoughts returned to her and wide-eyed, Faith backed up, relieved she hadn’t killed the other girl.</p><p>Faith licked her lips as she saw Buffy staring at her with a scared look on her face. Faith bit her lip and took a step away from Buffy. Despite wanting nothing more than to lick the wound clean with her tongue, she took another step back until she hit the vanity.</p><p>The two women stared at one another. </p><p>Faith felt like she should apologize, but she was sidetracked as she saw she had a reflection. </p><p>“Holy shit!”</p><p>Buffy turned her head to look at the mirror and winced. She reached up to touch her neck out of instinct but stopped herself. Instead she picked up the rag from the floor and moved towards the sink to wet it. She stared at Faith’s reflection as the two girls stared at each other through the mirror.</p><p>Buffy rung out the cloth, folded it up, and placed it on her neck. She pulled open the bathroom door and Faith reached out to grab her arm.</p><p>“Hey, sorry. I wasn’t expecting... that,” Faith said.</p><p>Buffy nodded and the two women stared at each another until Faith let her eyes drop the bite mark on the blond’s throat. She pulled her lips to the side, “I guess it’s your blood then, since I haven’t puked,” Faith said.</p><p>“Guess so,” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith watched Buffy nibble her lip and she felt guilty. She hadn’t meant to be attack her. Then again she hadn’t wanted to be turned and only able to drink slayer’s blood either.</p><p>“Let’s go see Giles,” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith followed the blond out of the bedroom. Making sure to walk behind her as they met up with Giles in the living room. She kept Buffy in front of her like a shield, as the ex-watcher learned about Faith’s new affliction.</p><p>Giles stared at the hybrid vampire slayer as if she was a science experiment. Faith crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.</p><p>Giles turned his attention to Buffy. He stared at the cloth held to her neck and pursed his lips.</p><p>“So, it seems you can drink slayer blood,” Angel put in.</p><p>Faith nodded. </p><p>Buffy moved to sit down and Giles followed her as she slid into an overstuffed chair. He stood over her and took off his glasses to wipe them clean on his shirt.</p><p>“I received a phone call from the watcher’s council earlier today,” he said.</p><p>“Oh?” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith moved to sit down on the couch and Angel followed her and sat down next to her. Giles glanced back at them and then squinted as he noticed there was a couch missing. He turned his attention back to Buffy.</p><p>“Yes. A new slayer was called in Spain. I was told that I was able to apply to be her watcher if I so desired.”</p><p>Buffy stared at Giles, alarmed. “What did you say?”</p><p>Giles put his glasses on and stared at his slayer, “I declined. I already have two slayers under my care, as it were.”</p><p>Buffy smiled at her mentor and Giles returned the smile.</p><p>“Not only that,” Giles turned to Faith, “One of them is now a vampire-slayer hybrid. I think we have our hands full.”</p><p>Faith tilted her head as she watched the two of them talk. She never felt like Giles was really her watcher, but she supposed he kind of was. He’d been her active watcher longer then any other had.</p><p>“Now that the council has a new slayer, they’ll want nothing to do with me, won’t they?” Buffy said.</p><p>Giles nodded, “Yes, well, you’re technically free to do whatever you wish. You’re not the active slayer any more. Neither is Faith.”</p><p>“But...” Buffy said.</p><p>“There is no but, Buffy. There is one girl in all the world. Neither you or Faith are the slayer anymore. You still have your slaying abilities, but a new generation has been called.”</p><p>“Well, it’s not like I’m moving from the Hellmouth,” Buffy said, “I’ll still patrol and keep Sunnydale safe.”</p><p>“If that’s what you want to do,” Giles said.</p><p>Buffy bit her lip. She felt suddenly bereft in a sea of a million choices. Moments ago, she’d been Buffy the vampire slayer. Now who was she? She was just Buffy.</p><p>She sat there thinking while Giles turned to Faith to ask her about vomiting up blood. He asked her if she’d tried to eat human blood, and once Buffy heard Faith deny it, she stared out the window nearby and zoned out. </p><p>She couldn’t believe what had happened. Giles said she was free. She was able to be a regular girl now. What did that even mean? She knew she couldn't stop fighting demons. Not only was she not capable, she also liked it if she was honest. </p><p>How could she possibly have a regular life? </p><p>Faith interrupted her thoughts as she came to stand before her.</p><p>“Thanks, for earlier. I’m gonna head to bed,” Faith said.</p><p>Buffy nodded and watched as Faith disappeared down the hall.</p><p>Giles said he was heading home to sleep and Buffy denied a ride home from him and watched him leave.</p><p>Angel stared at Buffy.</p><p>“You stayed,” he said.</p><p>Buffy nodded, “Yeah. I’ve been thinking.”</p><p>Angel raised an eyebrow and Buffy moved to sit on the couch next to him.</p><p>“I’m going to work on fixing your curse.”</p><p>Surprised, Angel stared at her.</p><p>“If I’m finally allowed to do whatever I want, then... I want you.” Buffy said.</p><p>Angel shifted over on the couch and then the two of them kissed. Buffy pulled back and stared into the vampire’s eyes. She promised herself that she’d stop at nothing to fix the clause in his curse. She knew that beyond that she could find happiness with Angel.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Buffy woke up in Angel’s bed fully dressed. She rolled over, stared at the sleeping vampire, and then rolled out of bed. She left the mansion and wandered back to her dorm. She’d missed her classes but she wasn’t worried about it. She was sure she could get notes off of someone.</p><p>She entered her dorm to see Willow’s bed empty and still made from the night before. Buffy wondered where Willow was all the time lately. She was never in the dorm anymore and Buffy was worried about her, but also she needed something from her.</p><p>Buffy picked up the phone, about to call Giles, when the door opened and Willow wandered in and dropped her backpack on her bed. Buffy hung up.</p><p>“Hey, Wills.” Buffy said.</p><p>Willow smiled. She appeared tired.</p><p>“Hiya Buffy, What’s shakin’?”</p><p>Buffy waited until Willow looked up at her and then she placated the witch as Willow came towards her to inspect her neck wound.</p><p>“Jeez, are you okay?”</p><p>Buffy nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine. Faith isn’t though. She got turned by Drusilla.”</p><p>Willow’s eyes bulged out of her head, “What?”</p><p>Buffy nodded, “Yeah. And the worst part... She drinks my blood. Not vampire, not human... slayer blood.”</p><p>Willow sat next to Buffy on her bed, “Did she attack you?”</p><p>Buffy drew her eyebrows together, “Not- I guess not. It was just... she’s a demon now.”</p><p>“She’s evil?” Willow said.</p><p>Buffy shook her head, “No, she’s got a soul.”</p><p>Willow bit her lip and Buffy knew the feeling. What the hell was there to say?</p><p>“I’m actually glad to see you. I need your help. When Faith was drinking from me she, well, she started humping against me and it totally wigged me out. I’m hoping you can take a bag of blood out of me with a needle and then I can just deliver it to her.”</p><p>Willow nodded, “Sure, that’s so weird. I’m doing the same thing for Anya.”</p><p>“What?” Buffy said, “Why?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m not sure I should say. I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”</p><p>“Willow, you have to tell me now.” Buffy said, “Please?”</p><p>Willow stuck her hand up in the air, “Pinkie promise you won’t tell anyone?”</p><p>Buffy smirked and pinkie swore, “Okay, so what’s going on with Anya?”</p><p>“Spike set her up with a place to stay in his new demon night club,” Willow said, “And now Anya now has a vampire security guard who she’s obligated to feed.”</p><p>“What? She agreed to that?”</p><p>Willow shrugged, “I actually wonder how much longer I’m going to be facilitating it. They seem like they really like each other.”</p><p>“Anya and the vampire?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Willow said.</p><p>“So what’s the vampire’s name, what’s he look like?”</p><p>Willow shrugged, “Um, he’s tall. Blond. His name is Avery.”</p><p>“Wait, Spike has a nightclub?” Buffy said.</p><p>Willow nodded.</p><p>“Where the hell have I been?”</p><p>“Getting humped by a vampire slayer?” Willow said.</p><p>The red head giggled and Buffy snorted as she swatted her arm, “Very Funny!”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Sand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
Spike sat at the head of a large table in the clubs new conference room. Xander sat beside him and among the other chairs were a several vampires, and a couple demons.</p><p>“I’m not sure I understand,” Spike said, “How can you tell-”</p><p>Spike stopped talking as three of his foster minions wandered into the meeting.</p><p>“Hey,” Spike shouted at them, “Shut it, will ya?”</p><p>The minions appeared contrite and Spike continued, “You can’t tell me that summat’s comin’ out the bleedin’ hellmouth and not know what the fuck it is.”</p><p>The minions snickered among themselves and Spike tossed them a glare, “You three! Pipe down!”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Master Spike,” said a purple demon, “I’m not a reader, I’m only a messenger. The seers say...”</p><p>The purple demon trailed off and looked over at the three foster minions who continued to talk among themselves.</p><p>Spike roared and stood up. He stalked over to the minions and stood before them. They straightened and stared at him like the knob headed sycophants they were.</p><p>“Alright, let me hear it. What are you sayin' that’s more important then what Barney over there’s saying?”</p><p>The three minions looked among each other and started to make excuses. Spike cuffed all three across their faces.</p><p>Spike saw Xander stand up from his chair, in his peripheral vision, and he swung around to glare at him.</p><p>"Did you want some to?" he growled.</p><p>Xander shook his head and bit down on his smile as he sat back down.</p><p>Spike ranted, as he walked back to his seat, "I already told them 3 bleedin’ times to shut it.”</p><p>Spike dropped his weight back into his chair and turned back to the purple demon, “You were saying?”</p><p><br/>
* * *</p><p><br/>
Xander made sure to act accordingly the rest of the meeting. Once everyone left the room, and he was alone with his vampire, he apologized.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to undermine you, by, you know, standing,” Xander said, “I don’t know why I reacted like that.”</p><p>Spike turned to Xander with a smile and brushed it off, “Not to worry, Luv, you’re the only one allowed to.”</p><p>Spike reached out and pulled Xander into his lap. He leaned forward and caught the mortal’s lips.</p><p>“I’m going out to hunt in a few,” Spike said, “Wanna fuck on the conference room table?” </p><p>Xander smirked and accepted a kiss as he nodded. </p><p><br/>
* * *</p><p> </p><p>“Oh come off it!” Spike growled.</p><p>He caught the blond slayers foot and twisted it, twirling her body away just in time to defend against the brunette slayer.</p><p>Spike dodged and weaved behind the dark slayer. He gripped her around the waist and threw her into a suplex. The two of them rolled around on the ground and Spike stopped when the blond slayer stepped on his chest.</p><p>Heaving in breath, Spike laughed, “What’s this then? Two on one?”</p><p>Buffy grinned and helped Faith up. Faith helped Spike stand and the three of them brushed themselves off.</p><p>“What?” Buffy said, “The master of Sunnydale can’t take on two slayers?”</p><p>Spike snorted, “I’ve heard the rumors too, luv.”</p><p>Faith snorted, “As if... You couldn’t even take me on...one on one... on a bad day.”</p><p>Spike growled, “Could take you right now,”</p><p>Buffy sighed and got between the two of them. She pushed them apart as she walked between them.</p><p>“Come on, you guys... I swear, if Xander didn’t exist you two would be humping like bunnies.”</p><p>Both vampire’s glared at the blond slayer and made faces.</p><p>“Ew, B...”</p><p>“Oi, shut it,” Spike said, “Don’t say shit like that, slayer,”</p><p>Buffy shrugged, “Still true,”</p><p>Spike lit a smoke as the girls waved him off. Spike saluted them and continued walking down to the docks.</p><p><br/>
* * *</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, spit out then, what are you so bloody afraid of?” Spike said.</p><p>“The water... it’s consecrated,” Dan said.</p><p>Avery laughed, “What?”</p><p>Dan pointed at the ocean, “It sits in the sun, don’t it? If that’s not blessed, I dunno what is,”</p><p>Spike shook his head with a snort. He said “It’s churned, innit?”, and then shoved Dan off the dock.</p><p>Dan flailed around in the water and sunk as Avery and Spike watched him. </p><p>“Can you believe this knob?” Spike said.</p><p>Avery shook his head, “Never would’ve guessed that was why he was afraid of water,” </p><p>“Guess he can’t swim, also,” Spike said.</p><p>The two of them peered over the dock and then looked at each other.</p><p>Spike shrugged, “Come on,”</p><p>The two of them climbed aboard the Star Slammer and Spike started up the boat before lighting a smoke. They sat there and turned with matching grins to watch a soaking Dan walking towards them along the dock.</p><p>“Asshole,” Dan grumbled.</p><p>Spike preened.</p><p>“Get burned?” Avery said.</p><p>Dan shot him a sodden glare as he climbed aboard the ship, “No. Lesson learned,”</p><p>“Still can’t swim, mate,” Spike said.</p><p>Dan shrugged, “Whatever,”</p><p>Spike put the boat in drive and started out upon the sea.</p><p>Dan gripped the side of the boat as he lurched, “So, uh, where we heading?”</p><p>“Gotta clean up some loose ends,” Spike said.</p><p> </p><p><br/>
* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike, Avery and Dan docked the boat on the small island and wandered through the bushes towards their destination. Spike had received Intel that there was a group a demons planning to usurp him. He was hoping for a preemptive strike.</p><p>The three vampire’s moved in silence through the trees. Spike nodded his head and Avery and Dan each left his side in separate directions.</p><p>Spike smirked to himself as he strut towards the encampment. He could hear several heartbeats. The marks were relaxed and docile. They were drinking and drunk, loud and boisterous. They didn’t notice the vampire until he was upon them.</p><p>Spike bit into the first demon he saw. He tore out its trachea and spat it to the ground.</p><p>Eight demons stood enraged around the campfire. They launched themselves at Spike, but the vampire danced out of their way as Avery and Dan ambushed the group from behind. The three vampires made short work of the demons, leaving the one human looking old man cowering with no where to go.</p><p>Spike smirked, in his blood smeared demon guise.</p><p>“Oi. I know you. Used to work for Caledonia, didn't ya? Why oh why are you hanging out with these berks?”</p><p>The old man shook as he stared up at the vampire in fear. </p><p>Spike approached and reached out for the old man but stopped with his hand in the air as the man spoke.</p><p>“Miserere mei Deus secundum magnam misericordiam tuam”</p><p>Spike reached out and grabbed the man's collar and the old man shook in fright. He stared at Spike with wide eyes as he was lifted by his shirt to stand. </p><p>Spike smiled. He liked to see the fear. He sniffed, “What are ya?”</p><p>“Ha-ha-half demon,”</p><p>Spike saw the old man looking anywhere but his eyes, “What ya good for?”</p><p>“Er... n-nothing... I’ve nothing useful to exploit,”</p><p>“Why’d you say the verse, then?”</p><p>The old man stared at the vampire, “Hope?”</p><p>Spike squinted, “Not the clergy are we?”</p><p>The old man shrugged, “I’ve heard th-that vampires co-opted it...”</p><p>Spike looked over at Avery and Dan as they settled around the fire pit. He smirked.</p><p>“Too right, we did!”</p><p>Spike grinned as he looked around. He dragged the old man with him as he approached the fire. He shoved the old man into a seated position and then stared to wander around the pit. He found a bottle cap and picked it up. Spike molded it between his fingers as he turned his attention back to the half demon.</p><p>“How old are ya, then?”</p><p>“200,”</p><p>“And your name?” Spike said.</p><p>“Feydra,”</p><p>“Why’d you work for Caledonia?”</p><p>Spike placed his curved bottle cap into the fire and sat down in a vacant chair. He glanced around at the demons littering the ground oozing blood and ichor. He refocused on Feydra as he spoke.</p><p>“I used to work for Jamie's father... The true Caledonia... I was his lawyer.”</p><p>“That's how you know about the neck verse?” Avery asked.</p><p>“Yes. My time as a lawyer... Although, I can’t say where I actually learned of it. It was only something I’d heard over the years. ‘Speak the neck verse to a vampire and it could quite literally save your neck’. This was my first application, as it were, and it seems... to be going well?”</p><p>Spike snorted and reached out to grab the old man’s hand. </p><p>“Come here,”</p><p>Spike gripped the half demon’s thumb and picked up the burning hot metal cap with the aid of his pocket knife. He pressed the old man’s thumb down onto the hot metal to brand his thumb with it. </p><p>Feydra howled.</p><p>Spike dropped both the bottle cap and the man before he stepped away from the fire and put his knife away. He watched Feydra roll around on the ground cradling his hand.</p><p>Spike looked up as Dan snorted. The two shared a grin and then Spike nodded at Feydra.</p><p>“Well, gents, shall we?”</p><p>The three vampires moved away from the fire. Dan and Avery each grabbed an arm of Feydra and followed along behind Spike as he led them back towards the boat.</p><p><br/>
* * * </p><p><br/>
Faith stopped before Spike’s nightclub. She spied Angel walking towards her and she looked him up and down. He’d been in a battle. She waited for him to join her.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” she said.</p><p>“I need to talk to Spike,” he said.</p><p>Faith nodded, “Same,”</p><p>The two of them entered the club together and wandered towards the bar. Both took a seat on a stool and neither talked since they each had a lot on their respective minds.</p><p>After 20 silent minutes, Angel and Faith both looked up to see Spike walk into the club. The two of them both stood up when they saw him, causing Spike to stop dead in his tracks. All expression left his face.</p><p>“Nothing like that,” Angel said, predicting Spike’s first thought would be of Xander. </p><p>Faith looked at Angel in question.</p><p>Angel shrugged, “What? You’re not here about Xander, are you?”</p><p>Faith shook her head and Angel returned his gaze to Spike.</p><p>Spike nodded, relieved, “Meet me in my office, will ya?”</p><p>Faith and Angel wandered deeper into the club together.</p><p>Spike turned around and told Avery and Dan they were free to leave.</p><p>Spike then grabbed Feydra by the arm and led him to the bar.</p><p>“Oi. Feed him, drink him. It’s on my tab, ya?” Spike said.</p><p>The barmaid nodded.</p><p>Spike turned to Feydra, “You wanna talk to me, you stay here and sit pretty. Eat or drink, whatever, I don’t give a fuck. You leave, that’s your choice.”</p><p>Feydra looked down at his thumb and Spike lifted an eyebrow, “Your choice,”</p><p>Feydra nodded and adjusted himself on the bar stool.</p><p>Spike turned and asked the barmaid sweetly for a glass of bourbon. When she supplied it he took a swig and started towards his office.</p><p> </p><p><br/>
* * * </p><p> </p><p><br/>
“So you both fought off my rivals? You sure you’re not my lieutenants?”</p><p>Spike kicked his feet up onto his desk and smirked at the two vampires sitting opposite him.</p><p>Faith glanced at Angel and then sat forward, “I’ve actually been thinking about your offer, Spike,”</p><p>Spike took a drink, “Really?”</p><p>Faith nodded, “I’ll do it... But-”</p><p>Spike’s mouth formed a thin line, “But what?”</p><p>“But...” Faith turned to Angel, “I want Angel to do it too,”</p><p>Angel stared at Faith, “What?”</p><p>Faith shrugged, “Oh. Come on Angel. Cordy and Wes had Gunn bring all your shit down already... It’s official, even though you haven’t said it. You’re staying in Sunnydale. And, since you are, it’s only right that you help out your family.”</p><p>Angel squinted a glare at her and then turned it at Spike as the blond spoke with a smile.</p><p>“Yeah, Sire. What she said. Come join the family.”</p><p>Faith stared at Angel until the older vampire returned the look and sighed.</p><p>“Okay. Fine. I’ll do it... I was planning on it anyway.”</p><p>Spike smirked and toasted them both with his drink before slugging it back and dropping his feet to the floor.</p><p>“Right, shouldn’t have a problem with people trying to steal Thirst from me with you two on the payroll,” Spike grinned, “Is that all?”</p><p>Angel and Faith looked at each other and then at Spike. They shrugged.</p><p>“Right, well, we’ll chat soon. I’ve got some business I need to attend to before I go home and defile my mortal.”</p><p>Spike stood up and went in search of the half demon Feydra.</p><p><br/>
* * *</p><p><br/>
Xander entered the Stelle house after his last day of work at the Double Meat Palace. Exuberant to be forever free from the grease pit, he rushed upstairs to see Spike asleep in their bed. He bit his smiling lips while he recalled it was daylight. He stood in the doorway tempering his excitement. After a moment, he crossed the room and grabbed a clean set of clothes before returning down the stairs to shower and change. Afterwards, he scoured the kitchen for something to eat and settled on an apple.</p><p>Moving throughout the house, he ate the fruit as he checked over the Stelle plants. He was in the middle of lifting a plant with one hand to feel its weight to see if needed water when Spike joined him. The vampire, naked and sleepy, snaked his arms around his waist from behind. Xander left his apple core as well as his clothes in the plant room as Spike led him back to the bed.</p><p>They spent the afternoon under the covers and as the evening beset them Spike told Xander that he needed to make another trip out to the island to drop off Feydra. He asked his human to come along.</p><p>Xander found himself filled with nerves about the prospect of being out on the open water again. Never the less, he agreed. He knew Spike wouldn’t let him drown out in the ocean. </p><p>The two of them showered and dressed before crossing town to pick up Feydra from Thirst. Then the three of them headed towards the docks.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Spike noticed how quiet his human was, sitting pretty next to him, and he reached out and grabbed his hand. The three of them were silent while Spike drove the boat towards the island. Once they docked, Spike let go of Xander to stand up and shake Feydra’s hand. The mortal appeared to come out of his trance and he gave Feydra a small wave as he disembarked. Spike then drove them back out into the great abyss.</p><p>Xander noticed the boat stopped moving and he gripped Spike’s hand and spun his head to look at him with peaky eyes. “What’s wrong with the boat?”</p><p>Spike twisted to face him, “Nothing, luv. S’just you.”</p><p>Xander swallowed, licked his lips and looked around at the dark water surrounding them on all sides. He didn’t like being out on the boat. He couldn’t help but recalling the feeling of being stranded and nearly drowning out in the water. He forced himself to take a deep breath and lick his lips.</p><p>“You saved me out here,” he said.</p><p>Xander turned to look at Spike and smiled slightly as he caught sight of the sparkle in the vampire’s blue eyes.</p><p>Spike tilted his head to the side as he stared at him.</p><p>“Best thing I’ve ever done,” he said.</p><p>Xander glanced around, nervous, “You sure about that? Cuz I feel like a nut right now.”</p><p>“Wot? Yer just scared is all... It’s ‘cos you drowned. We’ll make new memories with water. S’fine.”</p><p>“No, I meant... Like I’m a nut and you’re the bolt.”</p><p>Spike grabbed Xander’s hand, “Huh? Not following.”</p><p>“Ya know, like how a nut is useless without a bolt.”</p><p>Spike stared deep into his human’s eyes, “Nah, pet. You’re no nut. You're the neck. Remember?”</p><p>Xander licked his lips and nodded under the vampire’s intense stare. </p><p>When Spike leaned in for a kiss, Xander shifted closer. The two continued to hold onto each other as they pulled apart. Spike rest his forehead against Xander's and whispered, “Don’t ever forget that, pet.”</p><p>Xander nodded and kissed the vampire again. Spike grinned against his mouth and the two continued on that way until the human started shivering and Spike decided they should head back.</p><p>Xander plucked something from his pants pocket and kept it hidden from view.</p><p>“I, uh, I know were spending Christmas with everyone but I thought maybe I should give you my gift now, seeing as it’s kinda personal.”</p><p>“Personal?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander handed Spike the ring box.</p><p>Spike opened the small gift curiously. </p><p>The vampire stared at the ring inside the box, “You were the one to get this for me?”</p><p>“It’s the same one, right? That you have? I dunno why I got it... it just felt like the right thing to do.”</p><p>“Exactly like the one I had,” Spike said.</p><p>“Had?”</p><p>Spike blinked away from the ring and looked up at Xander, “Yeah, I lost it about a month back,”</p><p>“Whew! Well, that works out then... I wanted to give you this now because I was embarrassed I bought you the same ring you already had.”</p><p>Spike slid on the ring and admired his hand.</p><p>“I love it, pet. Thank you,”</p><p>Xander grinned and pulled his arms in as a chill ran over him. </p><p>Spike tisked, “Why are you only wearing that?”</p><p>Xander looked down at his white dress shirt covered in blue dragonflies.</p><p>“What? I like this shirt,”</p><p>“So do I,” Spike muttered, “Here,”</p><p>The vampire swung off his coat and wrapped it around his lover.</p><p>Xander wrapped himself in the leather duster and stared at Spike with sparkling eyes.</p><p>Spike smiled, suspecting he felt the same feeling. He kissed the humans temple as he pulled him closer. The two of them stared out over the water for a while as the boat rocked to and fro on the waves.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>
“Shouldn’t we tell Spike what we’re doing?” Angel said, “He’ll see this as a breach of trust.” </p><p>Buffy nodded, “You’re right... But, I think it effects Faith more.”</p><p>Angel sighed. He knew Spike wouldn’t think so, but Faith was staring at him. “What do you want from me?”</p><p>“Your blood,”  Faith said.</p><p>The vampire licked his lips. Faith rolled her eyes and held out a silver goblet between them.</p><p>It was starting to rain lightly over the three of them. They were standing out in the mansion’s back yard. Angel watched Buffy pick up a bag of sand and start to pour it in a circle around the three of them. He licked his teeth before biting into his wrist and hovered it over Faith’s chalice. </p><p>The blood moved slowly out of him and he was grateful when Faith finally said, “That’ll be enough”.</p><p>She pulled the cup away and Angel lifted his wrist to his mouth before he thought better of it. He laved the wound with his tongue and in his peripheral vision he noticed Buffy watching him. He swiftly dropped his arm and watched Faith move away with his blood.</p><p>“So what next?” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith pushed a wet strand of hair from her face and crouched down on the tiny alter she’d set up.</p><p>“Well, you’ve drawn the sand circle... So, if Willow’s notes are right then all I gotta do is start a fire and place these things in it.”</p><p>Buffy nodded and looked out over the dark overgrown garden. Angel approached her and the two shared a smile.</p><p>Faith got her small matchstick fire burning within a silver bowl. The flames licked the sides as she placed several objects within the bowl. She didn’t know what any of the objects were but she trusted Willow to give her and Buffy a good spell.</p><p>Lastly, as instructed, Faith placed the paper incantation into the bowl of fire.</p><p>The fire blew itself out.</p><p>Faith looked at Buffy and then Angel.</p><p>There was no change.</p><p>“It didn’t work?” Buffy said.</p><p>Faith shrugged and looked down at the silver bowl. She began to start cleaning up her makeshift alter. </p><p>“It was worth a shot,” she said.</p><p>Buffy bit her lip and looked at Angel. The vampire shrugged and stepped backwards out of the sand circle.</p><p>Within a moment all three supernatural beings were thrown to the ground and knocked out as the sand circle swirled around them dancing into the shape of a naked woman.</p><p>Drusilla became corporeal and looked down at the three unconscious beings. She licked her lips and darted away like a scared deer.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Three Weeks Later</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Xander opened up the door to the Stelle house and took a deep breath. He could smell the Stelle and he was happy to be home. He was just getting back from doing a drop to old Murray at the trailer park on the outskirts of town. </p><p>Murray didn’t open up immediately and Xander’s knuckles smarted from knocking on the trailer. When the metal door eventually swung open, Xander stepped up into the trailer and squinted into the dark to see Murray trip over himself before he slumped down in his grungy, beige recliner. </p><p>The old fool was drunk as a skunk and it was only ten in the morning. Murray scratched his beard and pointed to a wad of money on the counter. Xander set down the Stelle and grabbed the cash. He counted it out while Murray started ranting about politics in the news. </p><p>Xander saw Murray overpaid him and he made a show of dropping the excess money back down on the table. Murray nodded as he continued to rant about the news and reached over to grab an open beer bottle from the side table. He took a pull off it.</p><p>Xander pocketed the Stelle money and glanced back for the door handle as he stepped back down to the trailer’s first step. </p><p>Murray stopped talking in the middle of his sentence and Xander glanced up to see the old man’s head lolled down to his chest. He was fast asleep. He’d passed out in the middle of a sentence with his beer bottle still in hand. </p><p>Xander shook his head at him as he exited the trailer. He smiled into the sunshine as he walked towards his new car, gratefully admiring it. Spike picked it up a couple of weeks back and Xander was still enamored with it.</p><p>He drove home, listening to loud music, with the windows down. He wasn’t in any hurry. </p><p>When he arrived home, he stood in the foyer and appreciated the smell of the Stelle as it enveloped him. It was such a distinct scent and it reminded him of home.</p><p>Xander stretched his arms up over his head and grinned through a yawn as he wandered up the stairs. He figured he could use a nap and cuddle with his sleeping lover. </p><p>He’d woken up at 7am, as he did every morning, and made himself breakfast before going out for a jog. That was a thing he did now. Running in the morning. He was trying to take care of his body more. Every since having a talk with Spike about not even knowing what his body was even capable of... It bugged him.</p><p>Ever since that conversation, he’d been trying to push himself more.</p><p>During his morning exercise today he listened to classical music for the first time. It surprised him when he had a philosophical run. He figured he’d keep listening to it in the future since it made him feel different then his usual music did.</p><p>Xander pulled his shirt over his head as he entered the bedroom. He saw his wet painting drying against the wall and he smiled at it as he shucked his pants.</p><p>Spike was sleeping soundly as Xander crawled into bed but within seconds, the vampire molded himself against him and started sucking on his neck.</p><p>Xander’s hands came up to stroke Spike’s smooth skin as he tilted his head to the side and closed his eyes with a grin.</p><p>Spike bit into his neck as he slid on top of him. He shifted their groins together and Xander bit his lip as he let out a moan. His hands moved down the vampire’s cool body and his fingers crept in between his lovers cheeks. Spike shifted to give him unfettered access and Xander filled with fervent desire as he fingered his lover and fed him.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>Faith, Buffy and Angel sat around the living room in the mansion. They were talking about Drusilla locked up in the spare room. The vampiress was brought back to life via their spell, but nothing seemed to be going according to plan. Drusilla was feral. She was currently curled up in a bawl in the corner. She was crazy, scared and delirious. </p><p>Faith thought about her last interaction with Dru. She’d been able to get closer then the others over the last few days. They’d even shared an awkward crazy cuddle after Drusilla pulled Faith into a domineering position and pet her hair. There were a few times that Drusilla looked at Faith like she recognized her. Except Faith wasn’t able to coax the vampiress back into her senses. </p><p>She’d brought her Sire back to life, hoping to find some sort of solace or closure. Little did she know that she would feel worse by seeing the vampire claw at herself and cry in the dark. Faith didn’t know that she was bringing Drusilla back to life just so that she would curl up in a corner screaming bloody murder over things that didn’t exist.</p><p>“It’s been three weeks already,” Angel said, “We’ve got to try something else.” </p><p>Faith looked up from her hands. She knew what he was insinuating.</p><p>“Yeah?" Faith said, "Spike’s gonna be pissed,” </p><p>“You think?” Angel said.</p><p>Faith struggled to suppress a smile at Angel’s sass while Buffy stood up from her seat on the couch.</p><p>“We’ll all go together. It won’t be a problem.”</p><p>Faith and Angel looked at each other and then at Buffy.</p><p>“Sure thing, B. You can be the one to tell him,” Faith said.</p><p>Buffy shook her head, “U-uh, no way! This was your idea. I’m back up, remember?”</p><p>Faith looked at Angel with puppy dog eyes but grinned just as he was about to relent.</p><p>“I’m kidding,” she said, “I’ll do it.”</p><p>Faith stood up with a put upon sigh before turning back to look at Angel.</p><p>“But back up would be nice, though.”</p><p>Angel smirked and stood up from his seat. He followed the two women out of the mansion and they made their way towards Spike’s house.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Drusilla sat in the dark room with her eyes closed in bliss. Finally, the resounding sound of the beating heart left the house. The vampire soaked in the silence and wrapped her arms tighter around herself. She closed her eyes while she rehashed her memories. </p><p>Ever since she’d been brought back to life, all she could do was try to reorder her muddled thoughts. She had two hundred years of memories to categorize and it was only lately she’d been able to find some sense of where she even stood in the timeline of them.</p><p>Drusilla recalled drinking the Stelle potion in Montreal. She remembered hearing the screams in the white infinity room. She realized now that those screams were foreshadowing her torture at the hands of Jamie. It was the cost of the stone. She understood it now. Everything she’d been through... it was all the cost of saving her Childe. Her sweet William.</p><p>Drusilla breathed out his name as she blinked open her lucid eyes, “Spike."</p><p><br/>* * * </p><p><br/>Spike laughed as he pulled himself out of his lover and stared down at him. Xander’s muscles were straining as he held his torso up on the ground. His legs were resting on the bed and Spike had just fucked him backwards and upside down. The vampire enjoyed the view as the mortal shifted to crawl back onto the bed. They collapsed together kissing and Spike moved to suck on the mortal’s throat as the human panted for air.</p><p>“Jesus, that was...”</p><p>Spike chuckled and rolled onto his back, “amazing?”</p><p>“Yes!” Xander laughed.</p><p>The two of them sighed happily in the afterglow. Xander’s hand curled around Spike’s and the two held each other as they came down from orgasm.</p><p>The door bell rang and the two looked at one another with equal looks of curiosity. Spike sat up and put on pants while Xander stared up at the ceiling still catching his breath.</p><p>Spike opened the door without looking through the peep hole. He could smell the three across the threshold.</p><p>“Who died?” he said.</p><p>Faith spoke up, “Not died per se... more like, we brought Drusilla back to life,”</p><p>Spike’s face went slack as he stared between the three of them.</p><p>“Wot?” he said.</p><p>“Yeah,” Faith said, “I brought her back.”</p><p>Spike stared at the hybrid slayer and then glanced at Angel. They stared at one another for a beat and then Spike was looking at Faith again.</p><p>“I need you to talk to her, Spike,” Faith said, “She’s newly alive and she won’t talk or eat. She doesn’t sleep. It’s like she's trapped in her head. I don’t know what to do. It’s been three weeks already.”</p><p>Spike stared at Faith and then licked his lips before he shut the door between them. He ignored Faith’s indignant knocking as he walked into the kitchen in a daze. He nuked himself a cup of blood and wandered down the stairs to the basement. He sat down on the bottom of the stairs and took a sip of blood as he let himself think about what he’d just learned. </p><p>Drusilla was alive.</p><p>A feeling pervaded him. It was worry. He worried he’d lose everything. He was worried he'd lose Xander.</p><p>What if Drusilla didn’t like that he was with Xander? She could evoke Sireship and require him to let go of the mortal. Let go of everything he’d worked for.</p><p>Spike worried and stressed as he drank his blood.</p><p>Everything had been so good for so long, he should have known that something like this was bound to crop up.</p><p>There were footsteps on the stairs behind him and Spike could tell it wasn't Xander. Spike stood up from the stairs and moved further into the basement to let Angel descend the steps.</p><p>“Hey,” Angel said.</p><p>Spike didn't look at him. Instead, he continued to brood staring down at the red stain in his mug.</p><p>Angel was silent for a while before he spoke. He only said one word. Breathed it, really.</p><p>“Childe,”</p><p>Spike turned to look at him, then. “I don’t want to talk to her,” he said.</p><p>Angel nodded but moved closer.</p><p>“Drusilla’s my Childe, Spike. I want her well. I think you can help.”</p><p>Spike put out a little harumph and Angel chuckled, “She’s the same old Dru, Spike.”</p><p>"That's what I'm afraid of,"</p><p>Angel squinted, “What's really going on?”</p><p>Spike swallowed and looked back down at his mug, “You remembered Warwick?”</p><p>Angel took his time remembering.</p><p>"Ah... when Dru beat you half to death,"</p><p>"Yeah," Spike said, "She beat me for a vision she had of me and Dracula. Made me promise to never bed him, or any other man... So, what ya think she's gonna say about me making a life with Xan?"</p><p>Angel was quiet.</p><p>"Guess I'll find out...” Spike sighed, “Doesn't matter what she says anyway,"</p><p>Angel sighed, "No, I guess it doesn't."</p><p>They shared a look and both knew they were lying. It was up to Drusilla. Everything was up to Dru. She was Spike’s Sire. What she said went, as long as she was alive.</p><p>Spike didn’t know if he’d be able to kill his own Sire.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p><br/>Spike didn’t know what to expect when he entered the mansion’s spare bedroom. He thought Drusilla would be crazy and crawling up the walls. Instead she was lucid and appeared to be waiting for him.  He sat down next to her and took her pale hand up in his.</p><p>“Heard you died,” he said.</p><p>She smiled slightly, “It’s not all it’s made out to be,” </p><p>“Guess so,” he said.</p><p>“You’re worried, Childe. There’s nothing to fear. We’re on the right path now.”</p><p>Spike’s eyebrows drew together, “What’s that mean, Dru?”</p><p>“It means you’re alive, William. That’s all I ever wanted for you,”</p><p>“Been alive a long time, Dru,”</p><p>“You don’t know where I’ve been for you, Childe," Drusilla said, "I’d move through the eternity of time for you.”</p><p>Spike stared at Drusilla and knew that she wouldn’t explain what she was implying. He lifted her hand and kissed the back of her hand.</p><p>“I know that,” he said.</p><p>“And you know that I’m happy you’ve found love, also... so why are you so afraid?”</p><p>Spike stilled, “You know about Xander then?”</p><p>Drusilla stared into his eyes and a quaint smile quirked the side of her mouth.</p><p>“I gave him to you,” she said.</p><p>Spike blinked.</p><p>Drusilla’s smile grew, “I’ve always know exactly what you’ve needed haven’t I, Childe?”</p><p>Spike licked his lips and nodded.</p><p>Drusilla’s smile dropped and she looked down at their hands, “Are you really going to put a soul in me?”</p><p>Spike flinched minutely, “It was only a thought,”</p><p>“I don’t want one, William. You know I couldn’t bear it,”</p><p>Spike nodded, “I was only thinking of ways to help your sanity, pet.”</p><p>“Am I not sane?” she said.</p><p>“Best I’ve seen in a while, luv,”</p><p>“I needed to give you something,” she said, as she let go of his hand and twisted.</p><p>Drusilla withdrew a piece of paper and handed it to Spike. “Give this to your pet. It’s not over yet. One more spin on the merry-go-round.”</p><p>Spike opened up the note and scanned it. He saw it to be a spell in Latin.</p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p>“A spell... The spell... The one that sends you to the other world... that sets everything off. You’ll need him to do this spell.”</p><p>Spike swallowed, “So I was in the future? You sent me to the future with that rock?”</p><p>Drusilla shrugged, “I suppose. I just fixed the timeline. You were set to die.”</p><p>Spike stared at his Sire with reverence. He was speechless.</p><p>Spike swallowed and tucked the spell away.</p><p>“Can I bring Xander by sometime?” he said.</p><p>Drusilla nodded, “You’ll have to. I haven’t accepted him yet, have I?”</p><p>Spike swallowed, “No, you haven’t.”</p><p>“But I will,” she said, “Now... Go tell your little friends that you’ve done it. You’ve healed me.”</p><p>Spike snorted, “I haven’t done anything,”</p><p>Drusilla shrugged, “It’s what they want to hear.”</p><p>Spike kissed Dru’s hand again and stood up.</p><p>“Thank you, Sire,”</p><p>Drusilla nodded and the two stared at one another until Spike took a deep breath and left the room. He did as told, walked passed Angel and told him Dru was fine. Then he left the mansion and headed home. All he wanted was to hold his human in his arms.</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Two Years Later</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Xander and Buffy sat eating ice cream cones as they chatted. The two of them were talking about the perks of having a master vampire in control of the town. Not only were the random deaths down, it was actually safe to go out at night alone.</p><p>Spike was in charge of the night life in Sunnydale. Nothing happened that he didn’t sanction through either Faith, Angel, Avery, or Dan. </p><p>Not only that, Spike was also on top of all the rackets in town. He’d insidiously taken over the Sunnydale underground, and became the don of the town. Everything went through Spike. And by association Faith, Angel, Avery and Dan.</p><p>"It's such a novelty," Buffy said, "I never would've thought having a vampire in control of Sunnydale would work out for the better. I mean, Spike's actually really good at keeping the town safe. Ever since he started up that fighting arena in the club there's been no human casualties at all."</p><p>"Yeah, well, fights to the death sure weed out the demons," Xander smirked.</p><p>Buffy tilted her head, "Yeah, but I think what I like best is that it's really you who’s in charge,"</p><p>Xander blinked, "Of Spike..." </p><p>“It just makes me less worried about everything,” she said.</p><p>“You really think that?”</p><p>Buffy nodded, “Sure. I mean, you two seem to be in love, and he's really not done anything bad for the town. Sunnydale's actually better now with all the new businesses he's been investing in.”</p><p>“Huh,” Xander said, “Hey, here's a segue... what’s your opinion on say Spike turning me in like 20 years?”</p><p>Seeing Buffy’s horrified look, Xander babbled, “I mean, I guess I’m more looking into Willow’s ensouling rather then for your blessing... I’ve just been thinking about it... a lot,” </p><p>“I don’t know what to say, Xan,”</p><p>Xander bit his lip and stared at the pink flecks of bubble gum in his ice cream cone. </p><p>“I’m in love with him,” he said, “and I don’t want to be a liability anymore. If there's an accident, you know he'll turn me, right?”</p><p>Buffy stared at him as he turned to looked her in the eye.</p><p>"So you're planning for forty? You've both talked about this?" Buffy said.</p><p>Xander nodded, "Yeah... At first, I didn't want it. But- I do now. It's gonna happen Buffy."</p><p>“What if you change your mind?” she said.</p><p>“I’ve got time for that... It's twenty years... Or, ya know, earlier if needed.”</p><p>Buffy didn’t know what to say, she just stared at her friend and watched him grow more anxious as they sat there.</p><p>“I guess I’d say that I know that you know what you’re doing,” Buffy said, “But, also, expect a soul. Immediately.”</p><p>Xander smiled in relief, “Thanks,”</p><p>The two continued talking as they finished their ice cream cones. Afterwards they parted ways. Buffy walked towards the Crawford street mansion and Xander headed towards club Thirst. </p><p>When Xander entered the night club, a vampire bumped into him. The vampire turned on him in game face and Xander instinctively shoved the vampire away from him. As the vampire advanced on him, growling, Xander lifted his arm and walked his elbow into the vampire’s throat. As he walked him backwards into Avery, Xander growled out, "Do you know who I am?"</p><p>Avery grabbed the vampire's arms behind his back and smirked, "You'll do well to respect Master Spike's mate,"</p><p>The vampire's eyes went wide and Avery shoved the vampire towards Dan who grinned and escorted him to Spike’s office. </p><p>Avery turned to Xander and smiled, “Hey, I was hoping to bump into you. Anya and I are wondering if you’d talk to Chip about his new glasses. The kid won’t wear them, but since he likes you so much maybe if you said they were cool or something maybe he’ll wear them.”</p><p>Xander forgot about the aggressive vampire in an instant and agreed. He head towards the back of the club to visit with Anya and Chip. Unfortunately, he wasn't successful. Chip still hated his glasses. Xander also felt like Chip trusted him a little less now. The kid was only 2 but had the mind and body of a 6 year old. Xander thought the munchkin was growing much too fast.</p><p>When he left Anya's suite, Xander wandered into Spike’s office. He approached the vampire seated before the desk and Xander sat his butt down on a stack of blood speckled paperwork knowing the blood was from the vamp that touched him earlier. He gave his lover a beautiful smile before telling Spike about Chip having headaches because he wouldn't wear his glasses. </p><p>Spike returned the smile and changed the subject by flirting with the bit of flesh before him. The two fooled around in the office, groping each other as Spike drank from his human.</p><p>When Xander eventually left for home, Spike took a stroll over to Anya's suite in the back of the club and knocked. </p><p>Avery answered and Spike said he was there to see Chip. Avery nodded, confused, but let Spike in.</p><p>Spike entered the kitchen to see Anya washing dishes. She turned as he entered, "Oh, hey. I wasn't expecting you."</p><p>Spike shrugged, "Looking fer yer little one,"</p><p>Anya pointed her soapy hand, "He's in his room,"</p><p>Spike nodded, "Ta,"</p><p>Spike knocked on the door and saw Chip look up at him. The child smiled and looked back down at his painting. Spike noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses as he entered the room and shut the door. He crossed his legs and lowered himself to the ground.</p><p>"Hey squirt,” Spike said, “What're you up to?"</p><p>Charles looked up at him, "Painting,"</p><p>"Where's your glasses? I was hoping to see them. Was gonna show you mine."</p><p>Charles set his paint brush down and wiped his hands on his pants, "You have glasses?"</p><p>Spike nodded, "Yeah. Don't need them anymore, but I still keep 'em."</p><p>"You like them?"</p><p>Spike nodded, "Wanna see?"</p><p>Charles nodded and scooched closer as Spike withdrew a small wooden box from his breast pocket. He passed the box to Chip.</p><p>Charles reverently opened the small rectangular wooden box and peered inside. He looked shocked and then looked up at Spike. "Whoa!"</p><p>"They're different, but still glasses." </p><p>Spike reached over to take the glasses out of the box. He stared at them a second before he put them on his face. The curved earpieces wrapped around his ears and he looked through the tiny lenses at the small boy.</p><p>"How do I look?" he said.</p><p>Charles shrugged, "Alright, I guess,"</p><p>Spike plucked the glasses off and placed them back in the box. Charles stared at the spectacles and then glanced at his glasses on the bedside table. </p><p>Spike nudged him, "Go on. Put em on. You'll see better."</p><p>Charles got up and put on his glasses. He looked to Spike with a pout. </p><p>“I don’t like em,” Chip said.</p><p>Spike grinned, "You look great. Come here."</p><p>He reached out a hand and the small child moved to clasp it. Spike drew the boy close and slipped his glasses box back into his jacket pocket as he hugged him.</p><p>"I look okay?" Chips asked.</p><p>"You look very handsome and don't you forget it." Spike said, "Come on, I wanna talk to your mom before I head out."</p><p>Chip pulled away from Spike and the vampire stood up and opened the bedroom door. Spike exited and looked back to make sure the munchkin was following him.</p><p>Anya glanced up as Spike and Charles entered the kitchen and sat down at the table.</p><p>“Oh, wow, your glasses look great, sweetheart!” Anya cooed.</p><p>Spike looked at Chip and winked at him as Anya came to sit down with them. Avery entered the room shortly after and Spike cleared his throat.</p><p>"I'm glad you're both here. I was thinking of remodeling."</p><p>Anya's eyes filled with fear and uncertainty and Spike rushed to placate her, "Not shipping you out, Luv. Just wanting you're opinion. I'm thinking of adding another level. Thinking it’s a good idea to make a place for Xander and I since we're here most of the time anyway."</p><p>Anya relaxed and glanced at Charles before she returned her attention to Spike. "Anything you want, Spike."</p><p>Spike turned to Avery, "Any suggestions?"</p><p>Avery pulled his lips to the side and then an idea struck him, "Another room for Chip?"</p><p>Spike nodded, "Sure. Keep thinking and get back to me."</p><p>"Can we get a slide?" Chip asked.</p><p>Spike grinned down at him as he stood up.</p><p>"Maybe. Good idea, squirt," Spike said.</p><p>He then turned to look at Avery and then Anya, "You know where to find me,"</p><p>Anya stood up, "I'll walk you out."</p><p>Spike nodded to Avery and saluted Chip.</p><p>"Bye!" Charles singsonged.</p><p>Spike grinned and moved towards the door.</p><p>Anya pointed over her shoulder with her thumb when they reached the front room, "Thanks for that,"</p><p>Spike shrugged, “S’nothing.”</p><p>"And, you know, thanks for everything else," she said.</p><p>Spike leaned in and kissed the side of her forehead, "Not a problem, luv."</p><p>Spike moved to leave, he twisted the door knob and then turned back to Anya.</p><p>"Are you sure you need an extra room for Chip? Aren't you two fucking yet?"</p><p>Anya's eyes went wide and she looked back to the kitchen as Avery growled out, "Spike!"</p><p>"Either way, I don't mind,” Spike said, “I can make two rooms for you to fuck in," </p><p>The vampire danced away from Anya's swat and left the suite.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander and Buffy finished up patrol and separated. Xander walked home alone, happy to note that there were no demons lurking in the darkness. He wandered up to the front gate of the Stelle house and watched it open for him. He nodded to Feydra and followed the curated path up to the front door. He entered the house, stood in the front foyer and took in the sight of the massive Stelle on the pedestal. He grinned as he took a deep breath and kicked off his shoes. He wandered into the kitchen and scrounged up some food before having a quick shower and heading up the stairs naked. Not seeing Spike, Xander lit a candle and threw himself down onto the big puffy bed. He passed out shortly thereafter.</p><p>Xander woke up when he heard his vampire climb up to the window. He could instantly tell there was something off about Spike. The vampire was timid and wouldn’t look anywhere but his face.</p><p>Xander could barely contain his smile as he realized what was happening.</p><p>Drusilla had warned him. So had Spike.</p><p>Xander couldn’t help but feel his heart grow as he took in Spike from the past. This was the pivotal moment. The moment that Spike fell for him. Xander made sure not to waste it.</p><p>He thought of the spell in the nightstand. Drusilla prepared it for him years ago and he’d kept it in the nightstand waiting. It was finally time. Tonight was the night that Xander would solidify the past.<br/> <br/>Drusilla explained to him, once she returned to her senses, that she’d opened up a moment in time for Spike to keep living. She’d told him that the rest was up to Xander. Spike's existence was in his hands. Xander knew he couldn't fuck it up. If he did, Drusilla said that time would unravel and Spike would without a doubt die. So, no stress, right?</p><p>All Xander knew was that he had to spend the night with this other Spike. He reminded himself that it was the same Spike. It was his Spike.</p><p>“Master?” he said.</p><p>Xander knew how much his vampire loved being called Master. Spike’s eyes widened, in disbelief, and Xander grinned and approached.</p><p>“You alright?” Spike said.</p><p>Xander nodded. </p><p>He didn’t think it would be hard on him... He loved the vampire. It didn’t matter what time period he was from. He would do as he was told. He would love the vampire, hold him and have sex with him and then do the spell as Drusilla instructed. Xander would do the spell perfectly.</p><p>"Shove over,” Spike said, “I'm coming in." </p><p>Xander blinked and took a step back as he watched the vampire pull his body through the window.</p><p>Xander stared at the planes of Spike’s face. He was gaunt, hollow cheeked and starved. Xander’s only solace was knowing that it ended with this moment.</p><p>"Why are you at my window, Master?" Xander said.</p><p>He couldn’t keep the humour out of his voice.</p><p>"Why are you nude?" Spike said.</p><p>Xander's eyes widened in surprise. He looked down at himself and then back into Spike's eyes, "Er, you prefer me this way?"</p><p> “Look, Harris,” Spike said, “I don't belong here, right? Something's happened..."</p><p>Xander cocked his head to the side, "My name’s Xander, Master,"</p><p>"Xander," Spike said, "Look-"</p><p>Xander grinned and lifted his arms around the vampire’s neck. He pressed his body up against him and kissed him.</p><p>Spike stood as still as a statue against him and Xander had an epiphany.</p><p>The vampire was a virgin. Spike had told him as much a long while ago. Spike had said he’d only had sex once with a guy. He’d said he’d not expected it... What did he say? The guy sat on his todger and had his way with him? Xander stood smiling against the statue that was Spike until he was shoved arms length away.</p><p>The two of them stared into each other’s eyes. </p><p>Spike opened his mouth to speak but froze as his eyes caught sight of the claim mark.</p><p>Xander watched as Spike sucked his lips into his mouth, confused. </p><p>The two stared at one another.</p><p>“Ah,” Spike said, "Now you're getting it.”</p><p>Xander swallowed his smirk and approached. He fastened himself to the vampire and kissed him. He began walking him back towards the bed.</p><p><br/>* * *</p><p><br/>Xander stood staring at the empty place where the bed should be. He then rushed to throw on clothes and dashed down stairs. He rushed around the house, checking each room, and he stopped in the living room when he saw him. Xander rushed over to his vampire asleep on the couch and shook him awake.</p><p>“Wha-?” Spike said, “Xan? What is it?”</p><p>“It happened!”</p><p>“What’s happened?”</p><p>“I fucked you tonight! It was exactly like you said.”</p><p>Spike pulled Xander down on top of him and kissed him.</p><p>“You gonna make up for the adultery?”</p><p>Xander snorted and got more comfortable, “As if fucking you from a different time counts – you weren't even a doppelganger!”</p><p>Spike chuckled and pulled his human close.</p><p>“Guess you did it, then, since I’m still here,”</p><p>Xander nodded as he kissed Spike, “Guess so,”</p><p>“Guess that makes you the sex god for past Xander to fear.”</p><p>Xander lifted his head and stared at Spike. He remembered the conversation.</p><p>He leaned down to kiss his master vampire again. The two continued to kiss and hold one another. </p><p>Spike smiled sleepy, sedated, and satisfied. Now that he knew all the 'time shifting' was over, he could relax. From his memories, he knew that the residue from Dru’s spell was gone. It was over. He was saved. His Sire saved him.</p><p>He looked at Xander and could have cried. He had the rest of the mortal's life with him, and when he turned him- he'd have him for eternity. They had that option now. Spike felt himself growing emotional. He tucked his face into his human’s neck.</p><p>"What?" Xander said.</p><p>Spike shook his head, "Nothing. It's over. I love you."</p><p>"I love you too," Xander said. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p>
  <em>The End</em>
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